paintballgun
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These were indeed sick, awful, comments from sick, awful, no good, very bad, people. But if something in his stomach stirred when he read each one, what does that make him?
No, that's stupid. It's just your body reacting the way it naturally should when it reads something like…this. Like, y'know, this is really gross. It's not a feeling of horniness, it's a feeling of being grossed out. Yeah. Yeah…
Although, now that he thinks about it, having your dick twitch slightly isn't necessarily a symptom of stomach troubles.
What can I say? Pre-Tour fucking with not two, but three frontmen.
- Language:
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- 15,896
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- 2/?
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Bookmarked by paintballgun
19 Jan 2024
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Three nominations. Three. And at the end of the day, he spent another year empty-handed. Fuck what a mess. His third movie, a fucking masterpiece of sincerely ironic bullshit. The layers of double meaning and over-exaggerated stupidity were a fucking wonder to behold. He swallows a mouthful of beer and grimaces.
By the sixth bottle, he is far less sloshed than he wants to be. At the rate he's been downing beer it won't be long until he stains his couch. He could get up to piss. He really should but... Something stops him. Something low and hot that tightens the front of his pants more than his bladder already has.
He takes another sip.
- Language:
- English
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- 2,261
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- 1/1
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Bookmarked by paintballgun
02 Jan 2024
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Prompt fill for the Homestuck Kink Meme discord
Bro has a small dick; Harley (consensually) shames him about it and edges him with a vibrator. That's it, that's the fic.
(Full summary of kinks in notes, please read).
Series
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,552
- Chapters:
- 1/1
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- 1
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- 8
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Bookmarked by paintballgun
01 Jan 2024
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He makes puppet porn for money, but he refuses to show his face or even be in his content at all. His fans want a change of pace, so the highest donation gets to rail him on the show.
Okay I was high and sleepy while writing this so this probably sucks-
Bookmarked by paintballgun
31 Dec 2023
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> Ultimate Dirk: Go fuck yourself. by the meat machine (problemsloth)
Fandoms: Homestuck
07 Apr 2022
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In this work of fanfiction, presented for your reading pleasure on Archive of Our Own dot org (and I do mean pleasure, you sickos), I, Ultimate Dirk Strider, engage in assorted narcissistic debaucheries with my own hilariously awful alternate universe doppelganger. That's pretty much all there is to say on the matter.
Wait. Why is this tagged "Metanarrative Humiliation"?
... Shit.
Bookmarked by paintballgun
25 Dec 2023