the meat machine (problemsloth)
Fandoms
- Homestuck (19)
Recent works
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Summary
TG: u heard me
TG: that thing in ur loverboys belly? egg -
won't abscond, bro by the meat machine (problemsloth) for Midnight_Disasters
Fandoms: Homestuck
02 Mar 2025
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Summary
There's plenty of perks to being a beta, really. Assloads of 'em. It's pretty much all perk, in your opinion.
But getting to stay cool as a cucumber when mating season rolls around and your stoic asshole of a brother goes out of his mind with rut? Yeah, that's the biggest perk of all.
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Summary
Betty Crocker™ brand products are delicious. Betty Crocker™ brand products are good for you. Betty Crocker™ brand products are all you need. Enjoy Betty Crocker™ brand products today! Enjoy Betty Crocker™ brand products forever. Never stop enjoying Betty Crocker™ brand products. Consume Betty Crocker™ brand products. Consume. Consume. Consume.
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Because some trolls consider the initial stages of nookworm infestation to be pleasurable, there is considerable trade in nookworms as self-pailing aids. Commercially sold nookworms are typically modified to render them incapable of parasitizing trolls. However, unmodified or improperly modified nookworms retain the ability to infest a troll's gene bladder and hijack their reproductive system. Because of this, recreational nookworm usage is the leading cause of nookworm infestations among trolls.
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Sollux acquires a reproductive parasite.
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Summary
Two gods chillin' in a swimming pool, one inch apart because they're playing straight chicken.
Recent series
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Summary
It's always been you and Lil Cal against the world.
- Words:
- 10,280
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 18
Recent bookmarks
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"You've denied me a body for far too long." Hal murmured, voice eerily calm despite the sneer on his face. "You're going to help me make one."
Written for Drone Season 2025.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 9,374
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 3
- Kudos:
- 8
- Bookmarks:
- 2
- Hits:
- 244
Bookmarked by the meat machine (problemsloth)
17 Sep 2025
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Thank you, Miss Guillotine by DeadFlapbeastEater for the meat machine (problemsloth)
Fandoms: Homestuck
08 Sep 2025
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Summary
Jane and Dirk have both been defeated and decapitated, but are still quite alive. Frustrated and bored, they agree to a new take on community service: satisfying the freedom fighters sexually. Having sex while your body is separate from your head is a novel experience, but one which may have its benefits...
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,271
- Chapters:
- 2/?
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 7
- Kudos:
- 7
- Bookmarks:
- 2
- Hits:
- 150
Bookmarked by the meat machine (problemsloth)
14 Sep 2025
Bookmarker's Notes
fun as hell detachable head porn featuring ult dirk and candy jane. fuck yeah!