problemsloth
Fandoms
Recent works
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TG: u heard me
TG: that thing in ur loverboys belly? egg -
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Sometimes Dirk reminds you of someone else you once knew.
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After a mere eleven years of marriage, Caliborn comes to a stunning realization.
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won't abscond, bro by the meat machine (problemsloth) for Midnight_Disasters
Fandoms: Homestuck
02 Mar 2025
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Summary
There's plenty of perks to being a beta, really. Assloads of 'em. It's pretty much all perk, in your opinion.
But getting to stay cool as a cucumber when mating season rolls around and your stoic asshole of a brother goes out of his mind with rut? Yeah, that's the biggest perk of all.
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Betty Crocker™ brand products are delicious. Betty Crocker™ brand products are good for you. Betty Crocker™ brand products are all you need. Enjoy Betty Crocker™ brand products today! Enjoy Betty Crocker™ brand products forever. Never stop enjoying Betty Crocker™ brand products. Consume Betty Crocker™ brand products. Consume. Consume. Consume.
Recent series
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Summary
It's always been you and Lil Cal against the world.
- Words:
- 10,280
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 19
Recent bookmarks
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Your name is Dave Strider and you're getting worried.
At seventeen, you still haven't presented.
Bookmarked by problemsloth
17 Mar 2023
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What’s wrong with a little self-insert fanfiction?
Bookmarked by problemsloth
06 Mar 2022
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Dave is annoyed having to see John date Roxy and decides to travel back in time to have a one night stand with his mom to get him back
Turns out the time loops were stable in the first place
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 3
- Kudos:
- 21
- Bookmarks:
- 3
- Hits:
- 308
Bookmarked by problemsloth
20 Sep 2025
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Summary
Dave's brotherly protectiveness sabotages an attempt to discourage Dirk's obsessive tendencies.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 7,006
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 11
- Kudos:
- 34
- Bookmarks:
- 7
- Hits:
- 474
Bookmarked by problemsloth
20 Sep 2025
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Summary
An offhand comment of Dave's leaves him sandwiched between Sollux and Karkat to prove a point. Unfortunately for him, trolls are much stronger than humans and these two in particular are easily distracted around each other.
Fortunately for him, choking on tentacle dick is neither just nor heroic.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,125
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 16
- Kudos:
- 78
- Bookmarks:
- 6
- Hits:
- 478
Bookmarked by problemsloth
20 Sep 2025