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I’ll always be a bridesmaid (and I’ll never take one home) by paleredheadinascifi
Fandoms: 9-1-1 (TV)
15 Apr 2025
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Summary
“I told you my partner was coming,” the man says, shifting awkwardly. He turns and gestures towards Buck. “Here he is.”
Oh shit. It’s happening. It’s happening. The Universal Rom-Com Allocation System has finally found him and deemed him worthy.
He’s going to be the best Fake Boyfriend this beautiful man has ever seen.
Or, Eddie needs a fake boyfriend. Buck is about to deliver the Oscar-worthy performance of a lifetime.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 6,946
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 452
- Kudos:
- 12,907
- Bookmarks:
- 2,674
- Hits:
- 81,736
Bookmarked by phan_tastic
22 May 2026
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Eddie keeps forgetting that he has a girlfriend. Or that Buck has a boyfriend.
a.k.a:
Chimney's bachelor party, as told in two parts.
Bookmarked by phan_tastic
26 Apr 2026
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Summary
When Buck falls from a parking structure during a high-stakes rescue, Eddie is left to grapple with the sudden, crushing loss of the one person he never fully understood he loved. Stranded in El Paso with only Chris for company, Eddie finds himself unable to reach anyone from the 118—Bobby, Hen, Chim, Maddie—all of them silent, leaving him to face the weight of Buck’s death alone.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 43,847
- Chapters:
- 6/6
- Comments:
- 629
- Kudos:
- 3,524
- Bookmarks:
- 1,013
- Hits:
- 73,622
Bookmarked by phan_tastic
14 Apr 2026
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Summary
“How come you’re still awake?” Buck asks, antsy. He pulls at a loose thread inside one pocket with pinched fingers, rapidly picking apart the stitching. Better to unravel that than eight years of friendship all because said friend’s shorts have ridden up agonizingly at the thigh.
“I was waiting for you to get back. You’re kind of early, though.” Eddie’s eyes are tracked to the TV, but they dart over at Buck when he asks, “You strike out with Dixie?”
Which… Buck doesn’t even know where to start. He desperately needs to buy a vowel.
“Huh? Why—what—did I miss a text?”
Eddie, sat cross-legged on top of pearly-white cotton sheets, a vision so soft it’s making Buck dizzy, has the audacity to look puzzled. “Not from me. Why?”
or: Eddie leaves a light on for Buck.
Bookmarked by phan_tastic
29 Mar 2026
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Summary
Buck is a lot. Eddie knows Buck is a lot. Buck knows Buck is a lot.
But every single person who ever said that to Buck said it like a warning. Like a disclaimer, a heads-up, a you-should-know-what-you're-getting-into before getting too close so they can't say they weren't told.
And Eddie has never, not once, wanted Buck to be less.
The surplus, the overflow, the fourth tangent on a story that started somewhere else entirely — that's not the price of Buck. That is Buck. And more of Buck has only ever meant more to love, and Eddie spent enough years running on empty to know what it means when someone fills up every room they walk into so completely that Eddie is overflowing with it most days.
"Eddie. Are you listening?"
Eddie nods. "Gym Katie is alone at the gym and she's upset."
Buck blinks. His mouth is still open from the sentence he was about to say, his hands still mid-gesture, and he looks genuinely thrown, like he expected to catch Eddie zoning out and instead got caught himself. Caught being heard.
"You were listening," Buck says, a little breathlessly.
Eddie smiles. "I'm always listening."
Or,
Eddie finds beauty in the mundane.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 21,066
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 119
- Kudos:
- 1,489
- Bookmarks:
- 358
- Hits:
- 13,590
Bookmarked by phan_tastic
25 Mar 2026
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Summary
"Were you really worried?” asks Eddie. Buck’s brow furrows, confused. “About, you know—what you said. That your looks wouldn’t cut it. Because that’s…”
Buck’s head tilts on its axis, in a manner that would be almost harrowing if it weren’t his familiar, ludicrously handsome face. “That’s what?”
“Stupid,” Eddie blurts out. Shakes his head. Rectifies. “Not—you’re not stupid. Not at all. I just mean that… obviously, someone should want you for all of you.” Eddie thinks that should really go without saying. “But even without all the addendums. You’re, like, a total smokeshow, man.”
Good God. That’s fucking embarrassing. Even worse—or perhaps better, Eddie is so ruined—Buck beams.
"Total smokeshow?” Buck repeats, nothing short of delighted. On topic, Eddie really could go for a smoke bomb right about now. Just—pull the pin and flee.
or: Buck goes on a hot date and knits Eddie a scarf.
Bookmarked by phan_tastic
03 Mar 2026
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Summary
“Everything about being with Eddie feels right, and good, so so good, Maddie. It’s not timing or logistics, or even—I know he’d say yes if I did ask to move in.”
“But you feel like you can’t?”
Buck shakes his head.
“Because I’m cursed.”
(or, buck needs a loophole. eddie needs to know buck needs a loophole.)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 28,789
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 225
- Kudos:
- 3,052
- Bookmarks:
- 961
- Hits:
- 41,778
Bookmarked by phan_tastic
23 Feb 2026
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Summary
Eddie spots his mother first, standing near the living room with a glass of wine frozen halfway to her mouth. Her eyes track from Eddie's face to Buck's face to their joined hands, and Eddie watches her go through the five stages of grief in the span of two seconds.
Her right hand moves automatically, decades of muscle memory taking over as she touches her forehead, then her chest, then her left shoulder, then her right, her lips pressing together as she mutters what Eddie can only assume is a prayer for his immortal soul.
Across the room, Eddie catches Shannon's eye. She's standing by the fireplace with a drink in her hand and Chris at her side, and she looks like she's having to physically restrain herself from applauding. Her free hand is pressed over her mouth, shoulders shaking with laughter. When she catches Eddie looking she raises her glass in a tiny salute, eyes sparkling with mischief.
Chris, bless him, has no such restraint. His face splits into a massive grin and he turns to his mother and says, in a voice that is so loud it echoes, "Mom, you didn't tell me Dad's boyfriend was cool."
Or,
Eddie needs a fake boyfriend. Maddie's brother is happy to help.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 14,725
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 92
- Kudos:
- 2,149
- Bookmarks:
- 361
- Hits:
- 12,084
Bookmarked by phan_tastic
06 Feb 2026
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Summary
Buck develops a relationship with the ocean, avoids talking about the day Eddie was shot, realizes he might be in love, and drives.
Order may vary.
(a fic for the "Buck is going to break all the way down in season 6" truthers)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 23,869
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Comments:
- 290
- Kudos:
- 4,175
- Bookmarks:
- 1,511
- Hits:
- 47,169
Bookmarked by phan_tastic
24 Jan 2026
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Summary
“But with Bobby, I’ve been trying to do better,” Eddie says.
A hand rests on his shoulder, a thumb stroking. It’s a familiar gesture, but the fingers aren’t calloused enough to be her brother’s. Maddie’s fingers are slimmer, more delicate. It eases the hurt all the same.
“I think you have been,” Maddie reassures him, “at least you’re not joining illegal fight clubs this time. Just very legal book clubs.”
Eddie snorts. The callout was unexpected.
“You’re not what?” Karen’s eyes bulge out of her head as she sits back down.
Eddie chuckles and finally meets Maddie’s gaze. “I hate that Buck tells you everything.”
OR: Eddie joins a book club with Maddie and Karen after Bobby’s death, while Buck slowly drifts away.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 35,045
- Chapters:
- 7/7
- Comments:
- 206
- Kudos:
- 1,445
- Bookmarks:
- 423
- Hits:
- 34,154
Bookmarked by phan_tastic
19 Jan 2026
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Summary
That would be the pattern. That would be the smart choice, statistically, intuitively. It was his pattern, after all. But once again, he just couldn’t call a spade a spade, not when his heart was saying, well, “Hearts.”
Eddie leaned back a bit, a brief look of surprise in his eyes, before shaking it off entirely.
“Switching it up, Buckley?” He chuckled, bending the card upward so only he could peak. A smile crept across his face, though it looked as if Eddie was biting it back. He held the card fully in his hand now, still shielded from Buck’s view, and stared at it with an unfamiliar emotion taking shape along the line of his jaw. Finally, rather than setting it on the table, he placed the card into Buck’s hand, Eddie’s fingers pressing gently against his palm.
More weight. Buck sucked in a breath, pushing ever so slightly into Eddie’s touch. His thumb finally grabbed onto the card now in his hand, as he finally looked down.
A king of hearts.
OR-
Buck follows the pattern. And despite months of Buck's distance and avoidance, he finds that it always leads back to Eddie.Bookmarked by phan_tastic
13 Jan 2026
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Summary
After the lawsuit, Buck keeps his head down—“man down,” money tight, appetite tighter—as the 118 feels colder than it should. A handful of small choices and one steady partner start turning surviving into staying in this quiet hurt/comfort rebuild made of breakfasts, daylight, and the word said on purpose.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 23,695
- Chapters:
- 15/15
- Comments:
- 218
- Kudos:
- 1,016
- Bookmarks:
- 289
- Hits:
- 18,694
Bookmarked by phan_tastic
16 Dec 2025
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Summary
“Eddie,” Buck breathes, laughing humorlessly, his voice wet and thick. “If we sat here and-- and went through the list of things I want…” his hands gesture aimlessly. “We’d-- be here all night.”
Eddie nods, catching Buck’s eyes again. “Maybe-- we start with mine, then.”
The space between them feels charged with static, like the second before the thunder finally rumbles.
-----
Eddie’s finally choosing to be better-- finally choosing joy. He just needs a push or two in the right direction, first.
Series
- Part 1 of seabird 'verse
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 55,000
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 587
- Kudos:
- 6,129
- Bookmarks:
- 2,033
- Hits:
- 111,877
Bookmarked by phan_tastic
15 Dec 2025
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Summary
“How did you get home from the hospital?”
“Took an uber.”
“Does Maddie know?” Silence. “Does anyone?” More silence. More of Buck refusing to meet his gaze, staring at the door like he thought he could entice Eddie to leave by the power of suggestion. Well, good fucking luck, Eddie thought. Wild horses, and all that. “Why didn’t you call anyone?” he demanded. “Why didn’t you call me?”
“I did!” Buck snarled. The momentum of his indignation carried him into a sitting position, and Eddie could see him flinch with the pain of it. His unnaturally stoic front was gone, and something raw and wrenching took its place; it occurred to Eddie that he’d never heard Buck raise his voice before. “I did call you, Eddie! As I was bleeding out on my kitchen floor. You. Didn’t. Answer.”
---
The squatter in Buck's attic has a knife. Buck has a bit of a breakdown. Eddie has a plan to make everything right.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 30,561
- Chapters:
- 5/5
- Collections:
- 8
- Comments:
- 398
- Kudos:
- 3,855
- Bookmarks:
- 999
- Hits:
- 43,429
Bookmarked by phan_tastic
11 Dec 2025
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Summary
Buck runs, and Eddie follows.
-----
It’s been over two months of chasing Buck across the country, from state to state to state, following a trail he suspects Buck doesn’t realize he’s dropping breadcrumbs on. If he did, Eddie worries he’d stop sending the postcards, and they’re his only clues. Buck left his phone in his apartment back in Los Angeles. If he’s gotten a new one, he hasn’t shared the number with anyone—not Maddie, not Chris, and certainly not Eddie.
So Eddie lays in a too-soft bed in a too-small cabin in the middle of bumfuck Nebraska, the first grey light of dawn creeping its fingers past the dusky pink curtains, and reads the postcard again. He knows what it says by heart, but it makes him feel a little less alone to hear Buck’s voice in his head.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 14,677
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 131
- Kudos:
- 1,430
- Bookmarks:
- 387
- Hits:
- 12,866
Bookmarked by phan_tastic
09 Dec 2025
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Summary
“Would you date me if I was a girl?”
Eddie's question surprises them both, air between them full of breath-held tension before Buck scoffs, eyebrows furrowing but mouth curling into a toothy smile.
“Dude, I would date you right now,” he answers easily, not really stopping to consider the other options. Then, he volleys back, “Would you date me if I was a girl?
Eddie raises his eyes to Buck’s high, dark ceiling and does actually think about it for a lengthy moment, turning the concept over in his hands like a Rubik's cube. He tries to imagine Buck as a woman, dirty blond curls framing his face, muscular build, same baby blue eyes and the pink birthmark. Not much would change in the end and Eddie already likes all the parts of Buck he knows now.
“Yeah, Buck, I would.”
Buck smiles wider at that, clearly pleased, and buries a yawn in his pillow. His fingers go a little slack as their interconnected hands rest between them, clearly inching further towards sleep. “Maybe you should,” he mumbles.
or: Buck and Eddie sleep together platonically through the years of their friendship, unaware they're falling in love.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 28,138
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 30
- Kudos:
- 752
- Bookmarks:
- 183
- Hits:
- 10,645
Bookmarked by phan_tastic
07 Dec 2025
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Summary
Buck overhears a conversation between Eddie, Hen, and Chim and misunderstands it all.
Or, the one where Buck thinks Eddie’s only asked him on a date for practice.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 10,818
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 204
- Kudos:
- 4,093
- Bookmarks:
- 844
- Hits:
- 33,142
Bookmarked by phan_tastic
04 Dec 2025
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Summary
“You didn’t know he was doing this?” Taylor asks as she takes her phone back.
“I didn’t know we were dating,” Buck whispers, eyes tracking Eddie as he heads back to the table. Taylor laughs and quickly stops.
“Oh my god, you’re not joking. Well, good luck with uh - that,” Taylor snorts. She’s gone before Eddie sits back down, sliding two gin and sodas across the table towards Buck.or
The one where Buck didn’t know they were dating and Eddie is embracing whimsy (and isn’t as much of a technophobe as we think he is).
Bookmarked by phan_tastic
01 Dec 2025
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Summary
“Buck, it’s a Thursday. We’re not getting drunk on a Thursday.”
Buck shrugs a shoulder, pulling out his shaker and cocktail-making equipment and placing them amidst the chaos of supplies. “We don’t have work tomorrow.”
“Okay, but Chris needs to be picked up at 8 am from Camp and—”
“And I will set a dozen alarms.” Buck beams at him. He already knows he’s won. He knows when Eddie is about to concede. He knows Eddie better than he knows the back of his own hand.
“Buck,” Eddie says warningly, shaking his head like he’s setting his foot down, but Buck knows better.
He leans down on his elbows on the counter, his head placed atop his hands, matching Eddie’s tone with a mock-serious, “Eddie.”
A beat passes. Eddie’s lips twitch up into a half-smile despite himself. Got him.
“...Fine. Prove your point.”
OR
Buck and Eddie get a little (very) tipsy and end up taking Buck's brand-new hot tub for a spin.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,664
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 65
- Kudos:
- 1,406
- Bookmarks:
- 179
- Hits:
- 9,504
Bookmarked by phan_tastic
17 Nov 2025
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Summary
“You don’t have to do that,” Eddie says.
Buck shrugs. “You also don’t have to smile at every person who says ‘she’s in a better place’ like that helps, but here we are.”
The joke is soft, an opening. Eddie almost steps into it. “You’ve already done a lot,” Eddie says instead, faster than he means. “Go sit. Or eat. It’s—”
He hears it lining up and can’t stop it.
“—this is family stuff. I’ve got it.” The words are wrong the second they’re out; he hears them like Buck must. Buck’s hands still on the plate.
Or, Eddie is taking things day by day. Buck has a bit of a breakdown, then a bit of a breakthrough. Chris sees dead people.
Series
Bookmarked by phan_tastic
15 Nov 2025