phrollaeli
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"We are supposed to be deeply, nauseatingly in love," Dazai says, leaning into Chuuya’s personal space until the smell of sterile bandages and expensive cologne is cloying. "You look like you're planning my funeral."
"I'm planning the catering," Chuuya corrects flatly. "It's a spit roast."When an elusive ability user hides out in a hyper-exclusive, ultra-paranoid couples retreat in the Nagano mountains, the Port Mafia and the Armed Detective Agency are forced into a temporary joint operation. The problem? The resort only admits married couples with ‘impeccable synergistic energy.’
Enter Yokohama's most catastrophic former partnership. It’s supposed to be a simple three-day stakeout. But between forced intimacy exercises, a singular circular bed, and a decade of unresolved baggage, the mission might just kill them before the target does.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 92,053
- Chapters:
- 16/16
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 107
- Kudos:
- 360
- Bookmarks:
- 71
- Hits:
- 7,064
Bookmarked by phrollaeli
18 Aug 2026
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Summary
Osamu Dazai has decided to propose to Chuuya Nakahara.
No one knows why. Probably not even Dazai himself. Maybe it was a Tuesday. Maybe Chuuya made that ridiculous gesture with his hat and something clicked in that bandage-wrapped brain. Maybe he just wants to see how far the universe's patience can stretch before it collapses in on itself.
The point is, Dazai is going to propose to Chuuya. And that, coming from him, raises some uncomfortable questions:
How many ways can one man ruin a romantic proposal?
Is it legal to hide a ring in food that will be swallowed without chewing?
Can a subordinate refuse to participate in a wedding choreography under threat of termination?
How many consecutive "no"s can an ex-mafioso take before he starts reevaluating his life choices?
What does a certain someone think about all this? (Spoiler: he doesn't think. He acts. With violence.)
And the most important one:
Will Dazai survive his own marriage proposal, or will he end up as a lovely porcelain decoration on someone's shelf?
Or: Where Dazai discovers that proposing to the man who controls gravity is a terrible idea (spoiler: he does it anyway)
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Dazai smiled faintly. “And to what do I owe the pleasure?”
With a glare, Chuuya threw the star-mottled party hat at him. It hit Dazai in the chest and fell into his lap. “Put it on. You know what.”
“No thank you.”
“Put it on before I staple it to your skull.”
or: birthday wishes were, apparently, far more complicated than blowing out a candle—they required admitting he wanted something.
Series
Bookmarked by phrollaeli
11 Jul 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
best dazai bday fic have ever read bro this shit made my year
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[NEW] FLAGS 031826 Livestream Q&A.
0007: OMG the way Dazai and Chuuya held their mics during the interview are the same… They even leaned their elbows at the same angle… They’re so married AAAAAAAAAAA
0008: Someone needs to take their meds ASAP
0009: Can people stop creating something out of nothing?! Those two haven’t even interacted one bit! They haven’t even breathed the same air in the same frame!!![or: In front of the cameras, Dazai and Chuuya are idols from rival agencies who have never interacted or existed in the same frame. Behind the scenes, however, they are secretly each other’s biggest fan.]
[or: Maybe the fans aren’t delusional all along.] -
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Summary
“I’ll ask again, do you remember what we did last night?”
For the longest time Chuuya was met with only silence.
“Well, I remember how the night started…” Dazai finally revealed, still lying sprawled on the floor.
Series
- Part 1 of The Happily (n)Ever After Series
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 14,044
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 156
- Kudos:
- 4,133
- Bookmarks:
- 718
- Hits:
- 62,772
Bookmarked by phrollaeli
09 May 2026