1 - 20 of 36 Works by pseudoanalytics
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A Helping Hand! Luffy and Kid's Udon Alliance! by pseudoanalytics
Fandoms: One Piece (Anime & Manga)
11 Sep 2025
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"Oh, it's you," they say at the same time.
It had taken Kid a moment to recognize Strawhat under all those bandages. The guy was also tipped on his side, flashing his whole ballsack to the world, so he thinks he can be forgiven for not being familiar with this particular view.
Trafalgar screw you over? Kid thinks but doesn't ask. Pirate alliances aren't made to last, it seems.
Strawhat finally sits up. "Ugh," he grumbles. "Stupid Kaido."
"He kick your ass too?"
In lieu of answering, Strawhat's brow furrows deeper, wrinkling the gauze stretched tightly across it.
"Shit sucks." Kid readjusts his coat. The floor is exactly as comfy as one would expect solid rock to be. "Welcome to the losers' club."
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or, kid’s time in wano makes him more agnostic than he’d like to admit
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A Surprise Transformation! Law vs. Gear 5 Luffy! by pseudoanalytics
Fandoms: One Piece (Anime & Manga)
13 Jan 2024
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"What am I looking at, Strawhat."
Luffy covers his eyes with a hand and laughs so hard that Law is nearly knocked from his lap. "Gear 5!"
Mind reeling, Law finds himself confused and concerned and curious all at once. "And how is this," he asks, gesturing at white plumes of hair and a steaming mantle of clouds, "a property of rubber?"
"'Cause I'm made of rubber!" Luffy drops his hands to grab Law by the ears. "And you can be too!"
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or, Law fucks around and he sure as hell finds out
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competitive spirit (mini-comic) by pseudoanalytics for longestofshots
Fandoms: Haikyuu!!
09 Aug 2021
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sakusa, on the topic of first kisses
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4 pg mini-comic for the 2021 sakuatsu exchange
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It's strange what things the body remembers. Some mornings, Atsumu feels like his has forgotten how to roll out of bed or cook a meal or take out the trash. Things he needs to do to survive. But if a volleyball came flying at his stomach right now—at midnight in this 7/11—he would rock back on his heels and sink low enough to launch it with a perfect ten-fingered set.
But then that thought gets stored away, like his kneepads (never worn) or his Olympic medal (lightly worn). Because the front door shifts open and admits another exhausted person desperate for late-night supplies.
"Omi," Atsumu says, like it hasn't been forever.
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if at first you don't succeed (better luck next time) by pseudoanalytics
Fandoms: Haikyuu!!
14 Jul 2020
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"Have you even blown someone before?" Atsumu asks cautiously.
Omi scoffs. "Obviously."
"No. No, not obviously."
"I've had sex, Miya."
Atsumu was basically 60 percent certain this was the case, yet hearing it aloud still rocks his fundamental concept of Omi as a person.
"Like, a lot of sex?"
Omi doesn't dignify that with an answer.
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a vaguely interactive mixture of fic, art, and html, where you too can experience the inherent romance of a big fat jerk and a too-blunt jerk attempting intimacy
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(this is the result of letting the sakuatsu brainworms really get to you...)
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Black Jackals teammates verify controversial relationship announcement by pseudoanalytics
Fandoms: Haikyuu!!
04 Mar 2020
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Despite initial public skepticism, sources close to Miya Atsumu (#13) and Sakusa Kiyoomi (#15) insist the relationship is authentic and not a publicity stunt.
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the inherent romance of classical conditioning (or, the fine art of emotional recognition) by pseudoanalytics
Fandoms: Haikyuu!!
26 Feb 2020
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It's stupid. Atsumu isn't a romantic, no matter how many times he's imagined laying Sakusa out and finally really touching him.
So there's no explanation for why Atsumu is constantly stuck thinking about brushing his fingertips against the meat of Sakusa's palms or the prominent tendons in his freaky wrists.
There's no explanation for why doing dishes sets off a warm burn in his ribcage, or why when he smells disinfectant he inhales like he's walking past a bakery.
Yer doin' this to me, he thinks furiously, as Sakusa derails his thoughts with kisses that come more and more frequently now. Yer conditionin' me, and I can't stop it.
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don't bother checking my work (i've never cared for math anyway) by pseudoanalytics
Fandoms: Haikyuu!!
29 Sep 2019
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It isn’t until Shirabu’s back at LOCCENT that it really sinks in. Forty-eight wins? An impressive number, true, and a definite sign of Ushijima’s strength, especially compared to Tendou. But in anyone else, an unbalanced score like that would indicate a depressingly low chance of drift compatibility.
Drifting with Ushijima was simple statistically, but potentially deadly realistically. And drifting with Tendou? A veritable nightmare. If not for Washijou’s insistence, Shirabu would have dropped him long ago.
Still, something is calling to him. Something beyond numbers and data projections.
Because Ushijima may have knocked Tendou down forty-eight times. But that means there were forty-nine times he got back up.
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go ahead and start talking (i'll pick up the slack) by pseudoanalytics
Fandoms: Haikyuu!!
23 Sep 2019
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Something wasn’t registering in Tendou’s mind, that much was clear. "Obviously he’s missing a few details," Wakatoshi said. "But he’s handsome. He’s in an ad. And he makes me think of you."
The smile Tendou gave him made him feel like he’d started speaking in English or had grown a second left arm.
"You’re something else!" Tendou laughed. His whole mouth was open again, letting Wakatoshi see straight down his throat. "You tried to describe me and you decided to say that I have perfect hair and a perfect face and I look like I stepped out of an ad!"
"Yes. Because it’s true," Wakatoshi said, and that shut Tendou right up.
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while i nodded, nearly napping (suddenly there came a tapping) by pseudoanalytics
Fandoms: Haikyuu!!
30 Jul 2019
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Of course if there was one thing that could be counted on, it was Ushijima’s blunt, total honesty. “Do you think Tendou is attracted to me?”
Reon froze. “T-Tendou?”
“Yes.”
Tendou was notoriously hard to read, but Reon kind of figured that he wasn’t the type to be anything less than painfully overt with romantic affections.
“I... I don’t think you have anything to worry about. I think if Tendou was attracted to you, he would let you know,” Reon said. “I'd guess he just considers you his best friend.” He hoped his answer would satisfy whatever frenzy the guy had worked himself into so Reon could finally take advantage of his last precious hours of sleep.
But instead, Ushijima visibly deflated in front of him. “Yes. That’s what I thought too,” he said miserably.
Oh, Reon realized. Oh no...
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you're really pushing it (but you're going much too slowly) by pseudoanalytics
Fandoms: Haikyuu!!
20 Jul 2019
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"Ow, my fingers." Tendou's face contorts into a mock expression of anguish, but there's too much amusement in his brows for Wakatoshi to be fooled. He doesn't let go and instead half-drags the blocker off to the side. But Tendou is not so easily thwarted.
"Wakatoshi-kun! Ow! That hurts!" he squawks evilly, playing dirty by getting Coach Washijou's attention.
"Ushijima! What are you doin' over there?"
Wakatoshi lets go like Tendou's hands are on fire. "Nothing. Sorry."
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it’s natural selection (it’s fraudulent science) by pseudoanalytics
Fandoms: Griefer Belt (Webcomic)
29 Mar 2019
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Seong doesn't care that Lars doesn't care, because that's just the kind of guy that Lars is. He's busy. He's got the Belt. He's got his mom, and he's got a whole business to run. Lars has got a lot going on.
And he used to have Seong, too.
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the sun will shine on you again (i'll make sure of it) by pseudoanalytics
Fandoms: Thor (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
06 Jun 2018
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"You really have got to stop this whole pretending-to-die thing, Loki. Can't blame your brother for getting a little tired of it. Just let him know that as long as I'm around, I won't let you. And I happen to, I just so happen to be immortal."
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buy one, get one free (two boyfriends in one) by pseudoanalytics
Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
15 May 2018
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This brings Bruce to an absolute standstill, because never in all his wild theories and calculations of probabilities did he ever account for the idea that Thor might like him back.
Thor seems to realize this at the same time, and he leans toward Bruce with the caution one might use approaching a particularly skittish animal. "Banner. What were you going to do if I ever admitted I was fond of you?"
A wheeze rasps out of Bruce's throat. "I mean, I don't know, man. I didn't plan this out in advance. I never usually get this far."
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you may only ask once (so be prepared for the reply) by pseudoanalytics
Fandoms: Pacific Rim (Movies)
26 Apr 2018
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It was surprising how easily your mind accepted things, Newt decided. It was so desperate to understand and make sense of input around it that it accepted even the most tenuous of explanations in lieu of actual observation.
Newt was a scientist. He was supposed to be better than this.
He reached out, prodding at what little tendrils remained of a drift. It cracked instantly, bathing him in blue light and gracing him with the terrifying view of one of them. "Precursors..." he breathed, horrified.
Hermann's smile faltered then brightened. "Incredible deduction, Newton. You always excelled at doing too little too late."
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i bring scientists (you bring a rockstar) by pseudoanalytics
Fandoms: Pacific Rim (Movies)
24 Apr 2018
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"Gottlieb!" Pentecost says over the phone. "How's it going?"
"V-Very well. Thank you." An idea occurs to Hermann. Something to say that might secretly alert them to the danger. “Newton and I have been getting along very well.”
“That’s good. That’s good,” Jake says. He doesn’t seem to realize anything is amiss.
Hermann frowns. “No, I said Newton and I are really working well together.”
“Oh!” says Jake. “I get it now. Congratulations, Gottlieb! Certainly took you and Geiszler long enough!”
The connection flickers and cuts off.
“What the hell was that?” Amara hisses.
Hermann is still a little stunned. “I was— I was trying to say something out of character to tip them off.”
“How would that be out of character?”
Hermann spins, outraged. “How would it not be?”
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repairs take time (but they're worth the wait) by pseudoanalytics
Fandoms: Pacific Rim (Movies)
17 Apr 2018
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Newt is sitting on the tabletop, surrounded by the teen rangers. Both his sleeves and pant legs are rolled up as high as they can go. "And this one is obviously Onibaba. I've got Otachi on the back of my upper thigh here, but that one's for my fiancé's eyes only."
Amara squints at Trespasser. "Which one hurt the worst?"
"Hmm," Newt thinks aloud, "Underarms really sucked. So did the back of my knees and my spine. Actually, the spine sucked more because I was in the chair for eight hours and I couldn't sleep comfortably for like, a month."
"So why... why the kaiju?" asks Suresh, and they all go quiet.
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or alternatively, sometimes a family is two scientists and thirteen rangers
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we've found ourselves a place (now we need people to fill it) by pseudoanalytics
Fandoms: Pacific Rim (Movies)
06 Apr 2018
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"Wait," Newt said suspiciously. "How many people did you invite?"
Hermann patted Newt's stomach to tell him to stand up. "The remaining staff of the PPDC and anyone from Shao Industries who is still in the country."
Newt froze. "Hermann... We're gonna need a bigger house."
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can we even call this a handshake (because i'm not letting go) by pseudoanalytics
Fandoms: Pacific Rim (Movies)
05 Apr 2018
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"Drift withdrawals are real, and they're very deadly. If we want to fully weaken the Precursors, Newt will have to be slowly weaned off drifting altogether."
“Sounds good,” Ranger Pentecost says after Secretary General Mori has explained the concept. “The problem is finding someone he's compatible with so we don't just fry his brain further.”
Hermann doesn't like the way everyone immediately looks at him.