rememberingtheurge



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    “Come on,” Comeau says. “Are we all just supposed to pretend it's normal that you’re still playing house with Ilya Rozanov?”

    “Gil—” J.J. says, but Shane doesn’t want him to finish that sentence, to pull Comeau gently off the ledge he’s steering himself toward. Shane wants to push him, kicking and screaming, to make them say it to his fucking face. That after all this time, they still hate him for the heinous crime of falling in love.

    “We’ve been married for two years,” Shane says. “I’m not sure that qualifies as playing house. I mean, it’s longer than you were with your first wife, isn’t it?”

    Or: Shane reunites with his former teammates at J.J.'s bachelor party. He's finally ready to say (and maybe punch) his piece.

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    17 Mar 2026

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    It’s not going viral because Jane’s true identity was exposed—or even because Ilya was blatantly sexting in public. That part’s as expected as Shane doing yoga or any human being on earth breathing.

    No, the texts are going viral because no one can believe how bad this “Jane” is at sexting.

    The women of the world are outraged. The men of the world are baffled. No one can understand why Ilya Rozanov, whose abs have their own fan club, is wasting his time on ‘a piece of cardboard that wished to be turned into a real girl’ (this particular joke has 300k likes and counting).

    Or: After a social media trend mocks Shane's sexting skills, he tries to improve them. It goes about as poorly as you'd expect.

    Now available in Russian

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    16 Mar 2026

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    “You didn’t like it the last time we tried it,” Shane said.

    Ilya gave a one-shouldered shrug. “Was years ago. Maybe it is an acquired taste, like licorice.”

    “You also don’t like licorice,” Shane pointed out.

    “Yes, but I keep trying it because Luca likes it so much.”

    “And then you make a face and tell him how awful it is.”

    “When have I ever told you your dick is awful?” Ilya said, looking mildly offended. “I am its number one fan.”

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    07 Mar 2026

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    Shane returns from the showers to find the locker room far more animated than when he left it. Everyone has their phones out, and when he sees Shane coming, JJ says, “Câlisse, Hollander, about fucking time! Ilya Rozanov got caught kissing a man.”


    After the tuna melt debacle, but before Rose, Ilya makes the reckless decision to go to a gay bar to take his mind off of Shane. When photographs get published, Shane has a realization and devises a plan: he's going to ask Ilya Rozanov to marry him.

    Ilya's going through enough without things he can't have being dangled in front of him. He needs to figure out a different way to avoid going home, because eventually Shane Hollander will realize what Ilya already knows: Ilya isn't worth what Shane wants to do for him.

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    06 Mar 2026

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    Rozanov is looking at him intensely, mouth pursed in a smirk, eyes alight. “You eat dinner?”

    “What?”

    “Dinner,” Rozanov says, “Is meal you eat in evening. You have it?”

    “You’re asking me if I eat dinner?”

    Rozanov tilts his head. “My English is not so bad, I think.”

    “No, it isn’t,” Shane says, although he’s still confused by Rozanov’s question. After a beat, where all he can focus on is Rozanov’s thick eyebrows, Shane confirms: “Yes, of course I eat dinner.”

    “Good. Me too.” Rozanov is still smirking. Shane’s starting to think it might be his default expression. “We have that in common: playing hockey and eating dinner.”

    Or: Five times Ilya Rozanov tried to ask out Shane Hollander, and the one time he succeeded.

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    05 Mar 2026