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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    [Tweet] @EvanDykstraOfficial: If hypothetically someone needed to get gum out of their toddler’s hair before their wife gets home, how would one do this? Asking for a friend

    [Tweet] @roz81: use olive oil. rub into gum. ta da gum gone

    [Tweet] @hazyhayes: Get a lot of gum stuck in your hairdo, Roz?

    [Tweet] @roz81: no but holmberg does not know how to spit gum out before napping on plane

    -----

    or, a childless Ilya Rozanov is somehow the go to guy for everyone's parenting advice needs

    Series
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    3,209
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    1/1
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    13 Mar 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    “Mm, not stuff his pockets with the drug everyone thinks makes you gay right before a press conference? Maybe!” Ilya’s voice chimed happily from the phone.

    “You wanna tell us why you’re so acquainted with Rush that you can identify it in 780p, Ilya?” Kip asked.

    “…I have so much leather to deodorize, Kip Grady. So many sports cars, you know.”

    --

    Kip can't believe no one else can tell how outrageously gay Ilya Rozanov is, but he's not complaining, he's happy to have someone else to talk to at all the hockey functions.

    Or: Perfect gaydar haver Ilya Rozanov finally gets a taste of his own medicine. A series of looks into Kip and Ilya's friendship, starting after the cottage.

    Language:
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    19,910
    Chapters:
    6/6
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    820
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    10 Mar 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Wiebe could tell he was wearing Ilya down, but he still looked nervous. "Ilya," Ilya stilled. To his team he was always Rozanov or Roz or Rozy, never Ilya. "You're our guy. There's nobody I'd rather be our captain, to lead this team to another Stanley Cup. It's clear you don't like the guy, but we both know how good this could be."

    Ilya jerked his head in a nod. "We will destroy everyone, this is true." Wiebe seemed satisfied. Ilya stood to leave and delivered one last look at Wiebe "But I do not have to be happy about it."

    ***
    Shane and Ilya are estranged for years after Tuna Meltdown. Then Shane confuses everyone by signing with the Raiders.

    Language:
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    6/6
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    10 Mar 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    What if instead of walking in on Shane and Ilya making out, what if David came across Ilya alone at the Cottage?

    ***

    “I’m David. Hollander. Shane’s dad.” 

    Ilya genuinely couldn’t figure out what the fuck to do. He needed to send out an SOS, but he had set his phone down somewhere and had no idea if it was in the sunroom, bedroom, or bathroom, and wasn’t about to go dash around to hunt it down. And as hard as he wracked his brain, he couldn’t come up with a single plausible explanation for his presence in Shane’s summer home other than, “I’m in love with your son. We have been fucking since we were teenagers. We have a ten year plan.” 

    Instead, what he choked out was, “Sorry. No English.” 

    Language:
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    09 Mar 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    The Swiss National League doesn’t care about the legendary Hollander-Rozanov rivalry. When the MLH can’t negotiate with the Hockey Players’ Union in time to prevent a hockey lockout at the start of the 2015 season, the Zürich Lions jump at the chance to sign both Shane and Ilya to short-term contracts. For four months in Switzerland, they share a team, a line, a house, and a bed. 

    Then the lockout ends in January, and it’s time to go back. Back to different countries, cities, lives. Beds.

    Reentry is harder than expected.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    38,174
    Chapters:
    4/4
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    Comments:
    2,417
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    08 Mar 2026