urmomdotcom23
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Recent works
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cowboy like me (takes one to know one) by urmomdotcom23
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
22 Sep 2024
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Summary
The door creaks open and Lily and Marlene come walking in.
“…I’m going to strangle him, Marls!”
“Oh,” Mary says unconcerned about the proclamation of murder, “Lily’s just talking about Potter. She says this every other day but never follows through. Just some light hexing.”
“Alright.” Lisa says, acting breezy because who is she to judge why a witch hexes a wizard. “That’s cool.”
——
An American witch in transfers to Hogwarts in the Marauders’ Era. What could go wrong?
Recent bookmarks
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Mostly Sweat and Regret by sportfucker (SportFucker)
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
16 Jun 2025
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Summary
Hermione and Harry go to Greece to get over their respective Weasley breakups. It rains the whole time. They get drunk, have the best sex of their lives, agree never to talk about it, and go back to being friends.
Six weeks later, Hermione throws up in a Ministry hallway and realizes her mocha creamer expired over a month ago.
This is not how she planned to tell him.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 9,540
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 170
- Kudos:
- 2,368
- Bookmarks:
- 472
- Hits:
- 19,309
Bookmarked by urmomdotcom23
27 May 2026
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Tea Towels and Other Weapons of Courtship by sportfucker (SportFucker)
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
26 Apr 2025
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Summary
Draco Malfoy thinks he's courting Hermione Granger.
Hermione Granger thinks Draco Malfoy is experiencing a very slow, very polite breakdown.
Nothing about this is graceful.
They're both doing it anyway.Expect:
-missed signals
-disaster courtship rituals
-deeply amused Slytherins
-Ginny Weasley gives dating advice
-a tea towel that counts as an act of war
-"this is fine" energy
-Hermione Granger, missing every signal
-Draco Malfoy, sending them like distress signals from a sinking ship
-nothing, absolutely nothing, remotely gracefulChallenge: April Showers Bring May Flowers
Aster:
Patience, elegance
Required Tag: Cultural Misunderstandings or Slow Burn- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 21,000
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 121
- Kudos:
- 1,361
- Bookmarks:
- 386
- Hits:
- 17,405
Bookmarked by urmomdotcom23
27 May 2026
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Summary
Hermione has never mastered Occlumency, so she blocks her mind with violent thoughts whenever she and Tom Riddle cross paths. One day in History of Magic, she accidentally thinks of his penis while she tries to come up with new torture methods.
'Trust Riddle,' Hermione thinks, 'to not bat an eye at maiming and murdering, but the thought of someone touching his prick makes him freak out.'
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 18,340
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 204
- Kudos:
- 5,116
- Bookmarks:
- 1,376
- Hits:
- 100,392
Bookmarked by urmomdotcom23
26 May 2026
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i found peace (in your violence, in your silence) by EnnArr
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
02 Dec 2025
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Summary
James was never the type to enjoy silence. He laughed, lived, and loved loudly. But when he stumbled on Hermione Granger, the quiet Gryffindor Prefect, one late evening, he would soon learn that there was more to silence other than that being deafening.
In which James became the boy who took love for granted, and Hermione was a muggleborn who didn’t act like one, and one late night encounter (and many times after) makes them realize that what they’re missing can be found in each other.
Series
- Part 1 of Lost and Found
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 62,352
- Chapters:
- 12/?
- Comments:
- 722
- Kudos:
- 2,610
- Bookmarks:
- 810
- Hits:
- 59,789
Bookmarked by urmomdotcom23
26 May 2026
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Summary
Continuation of 'Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Your Story':
Fleamont broke the silence from the edge of the courtyard, trembling with disbelief. “Gone? She... she said he’s gone?”
Euphemia held Hermione close, her gaze flickering between her husband and the shimmering stones. Her voice, when it came, was low but filled with steel.
“She did. And I believe her.”
Series
- Part 2 of Divine Threads
Bookmarked by urmomdotcom23
25 May 2026