1 - 20 of 65 Bookmarks by zemph147
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quiet now, you're sucking the charm out by foxtails for zacharybosch
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
07 Apr 2024
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There's a short list of people Ed should know better than to trust, and it pretty much begins and ends with the same fucking person. The same drunk person. The same drunk person who knows his middle name, date of birth, his phone passcode and somehow, without looking, the three digits on the back of his debit card.
She's his best fucking friend in the world, but fucking hell she's a fucking nightmare.
or: a meddling bestie, brand new nipple piercings, a crush he may or may not do anything about, day drinking, and a good thorough railing: the edward teach story.
Bookmarked by zemph147
23 Aug 2024
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calico jack buys some JO crystals for his best bros. izzy is too homophobic to help him charge them. ed helps him get over it.
Bookmarked by zemph147
30 May 2024
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The illustrated sexcapades of The Gentleman Pyrate and The Dread Pyrate Blackbeard by Lizluz
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
12 Mar 2024
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Ed and Stede's cool and exciting sex adventures!
An illustrated fanfiction by Frenchie.Bookmarked by zemph147
01 Mar 2024
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There was always going to be a catch. There was always going to be some kind of terrible thing to counteract the unexpected selflessness of the two most selfish men Lucius knows.
And the terrible thing is sex. Because of course it is.
or: Lucius and the worst temporary roommates ever.
or: seventeen bad decisions in one sexy unethical trenchcoat: the musical
Bookmarked by zemph147
27 Feb 2024
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Ed knows hypnosis isn’t real. So when Stede mentions that he knows how to hypnotize people, Ed does the only reasonable thing and dares his co-captain to hypnotize him.
This might, in retrospect, have been a tactical error.
Bookmarked by zemph147
13 Feb 2024
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Edward’s not a pirate, and he’s not a fisherman, and he’s for fuck’s sure not even a bloody innkeeper. He’s a goddamn handyman, is what he is.
—
Ed, innkeeping, and identity.
Bookmarked by zemph147
12 Jan 2024
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Agent Stede Bonnet has been getting a little to close to the truth lately, in his off-the-books research at the FBI... but first, he has to deal with this succubus situation.
Title from Mr. Sandman by the Chordettes.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 6,795
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 97
- Kudos:
- 360
- Bookmarks:
- 54
- Hits:
- 3,264
Bookmarked by zemph147
21 Dec 2023
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Ed and Stede have an interesting week.
+++
Part 5 of Proper Hydration, a modern alternate universe series that explores the question: “What if they met after coming home to themselves a bit first?”Series
- Part 5 of Proper Hydration
Bookmarked by zemph147
07 Nov 2023
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Stede didn't know that he knew. what if he found out.
and what if it were lovely.
canon divergent, directly following S1 ep5 you wear fine things well
Bookmarked by zemph147
04 Oct 2023
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Down Where It's Wetter by CartoonMayor, ghostalservice for knotwerk
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
27 Dec 2022
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When Ed hears Izzy's caught something strange in his net, he expects maybe a two-headed swordfish or a weird duck. But what he's found seems a little too human for Ed's taste.
A Free Willy/Shape of Water/Little Mermaid/Tentacle AU.
Check out the fabulous podfic by tipsy_kitty!
Series
- Part 1 of WAS (Wet Ass Squssy)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 9,595
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 122
- Kudos:
- 1,099
- Bookmarks:
- 185
- Hits:
- 8,650
Bookmarked by zemph147
08 May 2023
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End Racism in the OTW | Give your smile to me by imperfectcircle
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
12 Jan 2023
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Summary
What the actual shitting fuck. Behind the counter is this fancy dickhead in a yellow suit smiling at him like Ed's the solution to all his problems and the answer to all his prayers.
This is a trap, right? Or a joke? Probably a joke. Guys like that don't smile at guys like Ed. 'Specially not this particular guy like that, who looks like he pisses champagne and shits caviar. Ed knows what he looks like to guys like that, and if he hadn't known when he woke up this morning, he sure as shit knows now every other shop on this street has told him.
-- Ed goes to buy a suit and meets the love of his life. He is very normal about it.
Series
- Part 29 of Stories by theme: Romance
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 10,479
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 262
- Kudos:
- 1,187
- Bookmarks:
- 303
- Hits:
- 9,170
Bookmarked by zemph147
13 Jan 2023
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Dr. Edward Teach, renowned quantum physicist, has never had trouble distinguishing between sleep and waking—until a strange man starts showing up in his dreams.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 7,366
- Chapters:
- 5/10
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 22
- Kudos:
- 63
- Bookmarks:
- 12
- Hits:
- 715
Bookmarked by zemph147
10 Jan 2023
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Summary
A modern AU in which Ed is a glassblower, because glassblowing is sexy. Ed/Stede medium burn, E rating applies from chapter 4 onwards.
Stede's life is boring, flat, made up of things he didn't choose for himself. He commissions some glass art from Ed as an anniversary gift for Mary, and Stede starts to learn what it is like to want things for himself.
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“Hey, it’s blond guy!”
“Uh,” Stede looks up to see leather and purple and strikingly tumbling hair. “Hi. Stede Bonnet. Blond guy?”
“Yeah man, I’ve seen you in the shop, I call you Blond Guy in my head. Good to have a proper name for you, Stede. I’m Ed.”
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 50,552
- Chapters:
- 10/10
- Collections:
- 7
- Comments:
- 829
- Kudos:
- 2,015
- Bookmarks:
- 657
- Hits:
- 31,468
Bookmarked by zemph147
28 Dec 2022
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1888. Blackbeard Industries has been working for fifteen years to build the first subway system in North America, but somebody else is trying to do it first–and he’s doing it with style.
Now with a gorgeous podfic by Lindie!
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 11,787
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 204
- Kudos:
- 695
- Bookmarks:
- 164
- Hits:
- 6,527
Bookmarked by zemph147
09 Dec 2022
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Summary
Ed's been working up the courage to tell the foxy professor that he's been transporting between planets how he feels when the snake lily attacks.
(It's a sex pollen fic)
Series
- Part 2 of Smutty Gentlebeard AU one shots
Bookmarked by zemph147
29 Nov 2022
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Long Overdue by 4NationsInHarmony for zemph147, epersonae
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV) RPF, Our Flag Means Death (TV)
03 Nov 2022
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Summary
Stede tells Mary.
(See note for context.)
Series
- Part 1 of Here comes the twister!
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,253
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 11
- Kudos:
- 64
- Bookmarks:
- 7
- Hits:
- 1,048
Bookmarked by zemph147
02 Nov 2022
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Summary
Set immediately post-episode 7. Ed and Stede play strip blackjack, the stockings stay on, and everybody wins.
For stephalina, my co-captain of the SS Stockings Stay On.
Bookmarked by zemph147
12 Oct 2022
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Summary
Stede keeps giving Ed *the look* and Ed tries to figure out what it means for once and for all.
“And what about you, Stede Bonnet? Proclivities and all that?”
ETA: thrilled to be able to tell you that there is a podfic available from SD_Ryan right over here
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 10,308
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 264
- Kudos:
- 1,697
- Bookmarks:
- 435
- Hits:
- 13,982
Bookmarked by zemph147
20 Sep 2022
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Summary
Things between Ed and Stede are going great, overall.
They’ve put the past behind them. They’ve talked through all their feelings. They’ve worked out a very healthy co-captaining arrangement. The crew is content. The Revenge is successfully plundering every corner of the high seas.
It’s just… one thing.
[Narrator: The thing is that Stede can't last. So he goes to an apothecary to buy performance-enhancing sex drugs so he can finally give Ed the proper railing he deserves. This is the story of that railing.]
Bookmarked by zemph147
10 Sep 2022
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Summary
“The fuck was that?"
“How should I know?" Stede laughed mirthlessly, a bit hysterically even. "Octopus arms are high fashion; no one is doing it yet. I’m a trendsetter.”
Ed smiled at the gallows humor and reached out a hand to Stede, which he took with a grateful squeeze. “Hey, you wanna do something weird?”
The arms undulated nigh imperceptibly. "I think we’re well past that, dear."
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A social blunder results in Stede being cursed to grow tentacles, and Ed is fascinated.Pirate jokes, science experiments, and a very accommodating bathtub, ahoy! Fluff, smut, maybe a touch of crack, and some crack-touching, too.
The story answers the question: "What if a body that changes is fine, actually?"
Series
Bookmarked by zemph147
18 Aug 2022