zodin
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When Stede put out the advertisement for a man, it was very late at night and he was very, very drunk.
Seeking: intimidating man to conduct himself poorly at an elite dinner party this Christmas. Tattoos, piercings a plus. Must be comfortable speaking out of turn and using the wrong cutlery for at least one course. Rate of pay negotiable – role involves engaging with somewhat difficult personages and you will be compensated accordingly. Note that you will be posing as another man’s romantic partner; homophobes need not apply.
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Frustrated by his rich, bigoted family, Stede Bonnet advertises for a man to be his fake date when he faces them at Christmas. Tattooed biker Edward Teach responds. But somewhere between planning amazing pranks and teaching Ed about society, Stede begins to fall for him. Could Ed ever feel the same?- Language:
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Bookmarked by zodin
23 Nov 2025
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Slowly, a theory began to form in Ed's mind. If Mary had replaced Stede when he was away sailing, and then Stede had inconveniently reappeared... The solution was obvious. Really, Ed should have seen it before he even arrived. Afterall, he had nearly done the same thing himself. What really are the odds that a person would be mauled by a jungle cat, hit by a carriage, and struck by a piano all on the same day?
So yes. Mary killed Stede, and now Ed was in the uncomfortable position of having to avenge that death himself.
He can't think of any other option. He can't just let Mary walk away from this. Stede had come home for her. He had abandoned the sea - abandoned him - for her. Sure, this house has lots of other nice things in it, like paintings and dishes and silks, but they had those on the ship. No, Stede had come back to Mary, and she had killed him for it.
And as Stede's former co-captain, Ed has an obligation to murder her in return.
Or, Ed hears that Stede Bonnet is dead and decides to offer his condolences to the Widow Bonnet. If only Ed knew that Stede was still alive, and Mary knew that Ed was the notorious pirate Blackbeard.
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- English
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Bookmarked by zodin
22 Nov 2025
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Interpreting Clouds by GildedCage (DemonicHoarde) for Zuckerbaby_1
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
08 Apr 2025
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It's been two weeks and things at the inn are going pretty good. Yeah, it needs a lot of repairs and, yeah, there are too many fucking bugs but, ultimately, things are good. They are together. Nobody's going anywhere. They kiss every morning, they work on the inn together all day and they fuck whenever they want.
Or do they?
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Ed and Stede have a chat about how to tell if your lover is down to fuck. -
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Ed has been napping in Stede's bed. And Stede is fine with that. Really fine. Good, in fact. Too good, perhaps.
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Ed has been napping in Stede's bed. And Ed's been enjoying it. Really enjoying it.OR
An investigation into the effect of smell on existing attraction
N.B. This is not an Omegaverse fic.
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“Right,” the stranger said quietly, calmly, a friendly lilting cadence to his words. “I think you should tell Doug not to try and be a hero tonight. Tell him that if he likes you with all your fingers attached and if he likes not knowing what those fingers taste like, then he should probably stay where he is while you and I go downstairs to talk. Does that sound like a good idea to you?"
Blackbeard learns about Stede’s death and where he went when he didn’t show up for their escape. He decides to pay Mary a visit.