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Keith was screwed.
Lance was going to kill him. Not Zarkon. Not space. Fucking. Lance.
And his goddamn lip gloss.
That's right. Lip gloss.
Keith knew his weird...affection (he was NOT going to call it a crush) for Lance was already a distraction. Something he couldn't afford to focus on. They were technically at war after all.
But damnit all if Lance wasnt making it as difficult as possible.
It all started a week ago.
They had just liberated yet another galra enslaved planet and it was time for all the diplomatic nonsense. Not that diplomacy wasn't useful. Keith knew it was a necessary step, but he also knew he wasn't very good at it.
Allura had finally figured out he wasn't very good at it too. She hadn't said it to him directly, but for the first time since becoming paladins she decided that Shiro and Coran would accompany her to the diplomatic meeting and the rest of the paladins were free to browse the marketplace.
"Try to stay together and remember: we are all allies in the war against the galra. So try not to say or do anything to offend the locals," she said, pointedly looking at Keith.
Okay so he may have awkwardly shuffled back from an alien during their last mission. How was he supposed to know that stepping back with eyes averted was a sign of disrespect in their culture? On Earth it just meant you were uncomfortable. And Keith had definitely been uncomfortable.
"Do you think there are food stalls? I could go for a break from food goo," Hunk piped up, glancing down the road where people were gathering around market stalls.
Pidge looked up at him, "I think you're forgetting one important thing. We have no money."
"Which brings me to my next point," Allura continued, "As a show of gratitude you have free reign of the market for the next 30 dobashes. Please refrain from being too greedy, but if you wish to pick up a few souvenirs, or grab some food, our hosts have assured me that you are more than welcome."
"Alright! Non-food goo here I come!"
"I'm gonna see if they have any cool tech!"
Keith glanced at Lance who had been unusually quiet during the whole conversation. He seemed focused on the nearest stall but feeling Keith's eyes on him he looked back.
He was lost in thought for a second longer before his telltale smirk overtook his face.
"What's wrong mullet? Worried you'll look at someone the wrong way again? Or should I say not look at them at all."
Keith flushed before retorting, "Shut up Lance. As if you would have known what that meant."
"It's okay. Not everyone can be as suave and charming as me."
Keith fixed him with a glare but decided it wasn't worth a response. He was right after all. As much as Keith hated to admit it, Lance really was great at conversing with people, strangers included. It was something Keith envied, admired even (not that he would admit that out loud, god just imagine what Lance would say if he knew.)
"Once the 30 dobashes are up, meet back here. The meeting should be over by then."
Having said all she needed to say, Allura walked away, headed for the council hall where the meeting would take place.
"Well, she said to stay together, but I think we all want to look at different stuff," said Hunk.
"How lost does she think we can get? The market looks like it's all on one street."
Pidge gave Lance a look. "I'd like to agree with you, but I also wouldn't put it past you to be the one we have to look for."
"Well, we only have 30 dobashes, and I'm not about to waste it standing here when there are places to go and people to see!"
With that statement, Lance turned and headed straight for the stall he'd had his eyes on this whole time.
Keith rolled his eyes, "Well. See you guys later," and took off after him.
Allura really did want them to stick together. And if Keith also happened to find out what Lance was so fascinated with, well that was just an added bonus. He watched Lance approach the alien at the stall and start asking questions immediately.
As he got closer he could hear words coming out of Lance's mouth that made no sense to Keith. It didn't look like they were making any sense to the alien either.
"What about face serums? Do you have anything for elasticity?" Lance pulled at his cheek a little as if trying to make a point. At this the alien woman's face lit up in recognition. She picked a bottle up and handed it to Lance, apparently understanding his request once he stopped adding complicated (non-English as far as Keith was concerned) words like collagen and hyaluronic.
Lance pumped a small amount of the serum out of the bottle onto the back of his hand and spread it around. Apparently satisfied with how it felt he glanced back up.
"I'll take it! Now I'm just looking for one more thing."
By this time Keith was at the stall but Lance was too focused on the products to pay him any mind. The alien woman was still smiling amicably but even Keith could see the flash of worry that crossed her face. Poor woman probably thought she was in for another stream of questions she couldn't understand let alone try to answer.
"My lips have been super dry lately, do you have anything for that? Like chapstick or something?"
Well that was a much simpler question than he anticipated. Lance's lips had been looking dry lately and he was constantly worrying at them with his teeth. Not that Keith ever stared at Lance's lips. Nope. Never.
(He would just add that to the steadily growing list of things Lance was never supposed to know.)
The alien woman picked up another bottle, this one much smaller, and handed it to Lance for his inspection.
Lance unscrewed the lid to see that it had a wand-like applicator. The woman turned a mirror towards him and he started applying it slowly. Keith watched as his lips were left shiny and definitely far from dry looking.
Lance rubbed his lips together and released them with a pop, then thanked the woman and turned away, spotting Keith.
"Oh hey Keith, finally realized that you need supervision on diplomatic missions? Don't worry, I've got what I need so we can wander over to the weapons since I'm sure that's what you want to look at."
Oh god. Every time he opened his mouth the light reflected off his lips. His very, very kissable lips that were now covered in what can basically be defined as lip gloss.
Shit.
"Hello! Earth to Keith! Weapons? Yes?"
Keith, being the intelligent person that he is, glanced at the bottles in Lance's hand and said, "Um.."
Lance glanced at his bottles and grinned.
"Yeah check this out, I got some serum since I was out and this cool chapstick. Anyway, weapons are that way, bet I can beat you there mullet-man!"
Chapstick. He called it chapstick. What. The. Fuck.
Keith was so screwed.
Lance had been wearing the (not) chapstick every day since then. In fact, Keith hadn't seen Lance's bare lips since the first time he applied the stuff. It got so bad during their last mission Shiro finally said something.
In Keith's defense, everything had been going fine until Lance took down a bunch of galra fighter ships on his own. As the blue lion circled back to the group, Lance's face popped up on the screen, shiny lips and all.
"Yes! Did you guys see that?"
Shiro's voice filtered through the comms, "Don't get too excited yet, it's far from over."
"Keith, watch out!"
Keith hardly heard Hunk's warning before he felt a jolt, one of the smaller blasts having hit Red's right side.
"Damn.." He cursed under his breath, piloting Red towards the ships that had hit him. He was able to take them out with just a few blasts from his lion's mouth. So why had he allowed himself to get hit by a small group that wasn't even trying to hide?
Because he had been staring at Lance's mouth on the screen in front of him.
"Keith, are you good? Did your lion take any damage?"
"No, Red and I are fine."
And they were fine. Physically. But Shiro didn't need to know about his inner turmoil over lip gloss.
Luckily there were no instances the rest of the battle and soon enough the paladins were back in the castle, tired and hungry.
Before everyone could go their separate ways, Shiro addressed the group.
"Zarkon's forces have always been strong but lately they have been increasing in numbers. We can't afford to be distracted in battle; so I've decided that it's best if we refrain from using the monitors to communicate unless it's during training. Comms only. That's all."
Shiro waited for everyone to nod and start shuffling out before focusing in on Keith.
"I think I'm gonna hit the training deck," he muttered and turned away to follow the others out.
Shiro was having none of that.
"Keith, let's talk for a minute."
Shiro was using the dad voice. Keith hated the dad voice. He stopped and looked up at Shiro. He had a pretty good idea this was about his...distraction but he wasn't about to bring it up himself.
"I've been thinking about this for awhile but I wanted to give you your space. I know you've been interested in Lance for awhile but it's not like you to be distracted in battle. Has something changed between you two recently?"
And Keith, being the intelligent person that he is, said "Um..."
Shiro just looked at him patiently. Keith considered making up an excuse, maybe saying he was just extra tired from training or something. Anything but what was really happening. But what came out of his mouth instead was practically a whine.
"He's wearing lip gloss Shiro! Don't even try to tell me you didn't notice!"
Clearly that wasn't what Shiro was expecting.
"I noticed. He got it at that market, right? So what?"
"So what?" Keith hissed, "It's all I can freaking look at. His lips are so shiny and its so distracting!" He decided he better leave out the part where he's been thinking about kissing those shimmering lips. Wondering how soft they would feel and whether alien 'chapstick' had a weird flavor.
Shit.
"Well, my advice was originally going to be you need to talk to Lance about it. I'm not sure if talking is going to help in this case. Maybe you could ask him to stop wearing it on missions?"
Keith gave Shiro a horrified look.
"Sure, just make it clear that I've been spending nearly a week staring at his lips. What a great plan."
Shiro looked sheepish. "Well maybe this could work out for you. This could be the perfect time to tell him how you feel. I know it seems risky, but I think you might be surprised at what happens. Just think about it."
Keith sighed and nodded.
That was two days ago. Keith wasn't sure how much longer he could take.
He was on his last run through with the training drone when Lance walked in.
"Hey Keith! Let's spar!"
Keith purposely didn't look at Lance until he had finished his current sequence. Then he glanced over. Yup. Lips were still glistening.
Not being able to think of a good enough excuse to leave he nodded in response.
"I'm gonna mop the floor with that mullet of yours."
"You might have a chance if you spent as much time training as you did talking."
Lance licked his lips and lunged forward. Keith barely brought his arm up to block but managed to shove Lance back a few feet at the last second.
Lance looked at him thoughtfully before feinting to the right and swinging his left leg in a kick. Keith side stepped the kick and aimed a series of punches for Lance's center.
The force of Keith's attack caused Lance to step back but he still managed to block each blow. Right as Lance switched from defense to offense, he looked Keith dead in the eyes and chewed on his bottom lip.
Lance's right fist connected with Keith's shoulder. Lance looked like a kid in a candy shop as Keith was shoved backwards.
He smirked at Keith, "Who's all talk now?"
"Shut up Lance. One blow doesn't make you an expert."
Keith was frustrated. Lance was getting better at hand to hand, that was definitely true. But he still held his arms a little too far apart when blocking, still had an off balance stance and always looked where he was about to hit.
Yet he managed to strike Keith.
This was getting ridiculous.
Keith charged forward, catching lance off guard and knocking him to the ground. Keith had him pinned and was getting ready to announce his victory when Lance full out sucked on his bottom lip.
Sweet jesus that was it.
Lance made eye contact with Keith for 3 seconds before Keith lunged forward, pressing their mouths together in a messy kiss.
He hardly registered the moment Lance started kissing him back but he did immediately note two very important things.
One. His lips really were as soft as they looked. Two. The gloss tasted faintly of vanilla.
He licked Lance's bottom lip and Lance was more than happy to oblige, parting his lips with a sigh. Their tongues danced together and Lance brought his arms up to grip at Keith's shoulders tightly.
Lance nibbled at Keith's bottom lip and he let out a soft moan. The noise caused his brain to catch up with the current situation and he broke free and sat up immediately; his face flushed, he stared at Lance with wide eyes, gasping for breath.
Lance looked almost feverish, eyes half lidded and lips swollen but still glossy around his frantic breathing.
"Why'd you stop?"
Keith said the first thing that came to his mind. "That is not chapstick."
Lance burst out laughing.
"Oh my God I knew it! I knew you were looking at my lips! Holy shit!"
Keith was mortified, "You knew?!"
"Well duh! Why else would my lips be glossy so often?"
"Um, maybe because your so called chapstick is really just alien lip gloss?"
"Nah man! I found out the first day that after about 2 vargas its completely dry and not shiny anymore. But I was so sure you were staring and I was hoping that means what I think it means so I just kept applying it."
Keith blinked, trying to wrap his head around this new information. Lance knew he had been staring. Lance was purposely keeping his lips shiny. He had been tortured this whole week for nothing.
"And what were you hoping it means?" he asked weakly.
"Keith. I like you. And I really hope I didn't waste half the bottle of that chapstick and one amazing kiss just for you to tell me you have a lip gloss fetish."
Keith snorted but smiled down at Lance.
"I like you too. And no I don't have a lip gloss fetish. Now please stop over applying that stuff before missions, idiot."
"Aye aye captain! So Keith, my buddy, my pal, would you like to be my boyfriend?"
Keith nodded, his smile turning into a grin. Shiro was right about this conversation going well, although this wasn't exactly a planned confession.
"Awesome! Now let me up off this floor. I can think of a more comfortable place to continue where we left off," he winked, "the only question is, your room or mine?"
Keith stood up, holding out his hand for Lance to take.
"Mine. Your room is a disaster."
Keith walked towards the door as Lance muttered under his breath "As if yours is any better." He stood and brushed some non existent dust off of his pants.
"And Lance?" he called over his shoulder. He waited for Lance to glance up at him before he continued, "you should reapply that lip gloss one more time."
Lance looked at him incredulously before exclaiming, "You do have a fetish! I called it!"
Keith laughed as he exited the room. Fetish or not, Lance looked damn good in lip gloss. And now that he was Keith's boyfriend-holy shit he and Lance were boyfriends- Keith was going to kiss those lips as much as he wanted.
Maybe he wasn't as screwed as he thought.