Work Text:
The doors slam behind them, Arthur quickly guiding Merlin into a chair as his servant, pale and panicked, tightens the hand clasped over his mouth.
“Merlin,” Arthur soothes, rubbing his hands comfortingly up and down Merlin’s arms. “Look. Everyone’s gone now, it’s just us. Say it. There’ll be no consequence, just say whatever it is you’re fighting.”
Merlin’s face crumbles, his tears overflowing as he sobs into his palm. His cry is cut short when a volt of lightning discharges around him, his screams twisting into agony.
“Damn it, Merlin, the witch said this curse would kill you if you didn’t confess! It’s one secret, just say it! I won’t care no matter how deep and dark it is, but I will care if my useless servant dies taking it to his grave!”
Consideration crosses Merlin’s eyes but it fades, his other hand rising to cup the first just before another burst of electricity reigns over him. His shrieks echo heavy and muffled.
“Merlin!” Arthur barks, voice strained. He gouges his eyes with the heel of his palm before taking a steadying breath. “Merlin,” he reaches for his servant and a jolt of lightning sends his hand reeling back. He glares at the invisible force before kneeling so they’re at eye level, moving both hands in faster and grasping either side of Merlin’s head without resistance. “Merlin, look at me.”
Round, glossy irises peek up at him over soaking fingers. Arthur tries not to think of how they make his heart ache.
“I know,” he says, soft, certain. Merlin holds his breath, his body unnaturally rigid beneath Arthur’s grip. “I know, alright? I’ve known for a long time now. I understand why you hid it, I’m not mad. Just say it, please. I… I don’t want to lose you.”
Tears pool in the cracks of Merlin’s fingers, slipping over the hills of his knuckle and crashing to the floor. Gently, he lifts his hands away, just an inch.
“Y-You’ll hate me..” he mumbles before more sparks fly, his hands flying back over his mouth to stifle his groan. He’s shaking his head, shoulders trembling.
“I don’t. I could never hate you, Merlin, you know this. I already know what you’re going to confess so just say it, everything will be fine. I promise.” He takes Merlin’s hands, gingerly prying them away and holding them on his lap, and smiles seeing Merlin’s cautious expression. “Come on, you can do it.”
“I’m not your dog,” Merlin huffs, a grin slowly spreading across his face.
“You’re right, my dogs actually listen to me when I give them orders.”
Merlin laughs, short but genuine. “Only because you treat them better.”
“Is that the ransom here? Better treatment? If you wanted me to reward you with chunks of rabbit and a scratch to your belly, you could have just asked. I’d have only thrown you in the stocks for two days instead of the usual three for insubordination.”
“It’s not insubordination if I complete the orders. I just... don’t get to them as quickly as you’d like.”
“Is that a confession?”
“It’s causation. You give me way too many chores, I can’t possibly get them all done before the day ends. You think too highly of the sun and how long it provides light.”
“It is not hard to start a fire, Merlin. You’ve done it enough times to prove so.”
“Well, firelight isn’t always suitable for certain tasks.”
“So you’re saying we should have Gaius check your eyes as well as your head?”
“Shut up, Clotpole” Merlin chuckles, his head dunking to gaze at their tangled fingers.
Arthur had hoped he wouldn’t notice them so he wouldn’t have to let go and brush it off as if it were nothing. He wants to hold them a bit longer, but he doesn’t want to weird Merlin out…
“When did you find out?” Merlin whispers, refusing to lift his eyes.
Arthur smiles. “I think I knew the first day we met, during our fight.” Merlin snaps his head up at him, face painted with wonder. Arthur feels a blush creeping up his neck. “I mean, you were so weird it was honestly hard to tell. I thought you couldn’t be that obvious, but… you know.”
Arthur glances at Merlin and sees the man burning red in the face, big blue eyes round as ever.
“I was really that obvious…?”
“I didn’t know for sure until we faced the dragon,” Arthur says in all seriousness. “When I woke up and realized I was still alive… And you were there, by my side like you always are. There were no more doubts. About your secret or you.”
“Arthur-” Little flickers of electricity began to snap and hiss. This would be a big one.
“Quickly, Merlin. Please.”
“ Arthur, I… ”
“Yes?”
“ I… ”
“...have magic.”
“ ...love you. ”
Arthur slumps, his body falling to sit on his calves.
“... What ...?”
He doesn’t register who lets go of who first, but somewhere beyond the fuzz and cotton blocking his thoughts, he understands Merlin’s hands are no longer in his.
“...You love me…?”
Arthur shoots up, realizing he’s speaking to an empty chair. “Merlin?”
Taking off down the corridor, Arthur wretches open every door calling desperately for his servant. He rushes down stairs, throwing open the doors to his throne room, the large empty space suddenly small and suffocating. He bursts into Gaius’ chambers, the poor physician startled by the sudden boom.
“Gaius, has Merlin come through here?”
“No, he hasn’t. Is everything alright, Sire? The knights told me you ran into a witch on your patrol and you took Merlin with you to your chambers.”
“We did. She placed Merlin under a curse that would kill him if he didn’t tell me his darkest secret.” Arthur watches the color drain from Gaius’ face and helps the man to his bench. “No, Gaius, I knew about his magic. It’s alright. He’s not being hunted, though it is very important I find him.”
Gaius opens and closes his mouth a few times, trying to find his words. “I would check the meadow just east of the front gates. He likes to go there to pick herbs and calm himself in stressful situation.”
“I imagine he’s had quite a lot, defending this kingdom from the shadows… Thank you, Gaius, and I assure you Merlin is safe under my protection.”
Arthur dashes through the narrow halls and out to his front gates, two guards confirming they saw Merlin walking east of here not too long ago. He trudges through the underbrush, a careful eye on the setting sun, when at last he reaches the meadow. There’s a dark lump lying in the grass, staring up at the pink and orange clouds. Arthur takes a deep breath before moving in.
“May I join you?”
Merlin doesn’t even look at him, his hand weakly gesturing to the spot of grass beside him in invitation. He doesn’t expect Arthur to collapse right next to him, their arms pressed together shoulder to shoulder, Merlin’s heart beating against his ribs.
“So,” Arthur starts, a hesitation to his voice, “I want to say I need to revise my answer earlier, seeing as we weren’t actually speaking about the same thing, but in all honesty it isn’t very far from the truth.” He doesn’t meet his gaze when he feels Merlin turn his way, probably gawking like a idiot. “I fell in love with you when you first challenged me to that brawl, but I didn’t realize it until the dragon. When you drank poison for me, when you helped me through the trials for the death of the unicorn, when you followed me through every hellish battle my enemies conjured for me, I only fell more. And then the dragon came. I knew I was done for, I couldn’t win. That field would be my final resting place. The dragon knocked me unconscious, and I didn’t expect to wake up. But I did, and you were there. And you,” Arthur breaks into a smile, face beaming as he laughs up to the sky. “You’re such an idiot. You- you actually told me I had defeated the dragon. And you expected me to believe you.”
Merlin gapes, guilt twisting a frown into his lips. “I’m sorry I lied to you, Arthur.”
“ Merlin ,” Arthur swings his head to the side, Merlin’s eyes going wide when their noses brush. “I realized I loved you when you lied to me.”
“W-Wait, what?” Merlin blinks.
“I had questioned your intentions for a long time.” Arthur confesses with a withered grimace. “I had to, you were a sorcerer playing manservant to the then prince of Camelot. I wanted to just believe you were you, that there were no ulterior motives to your position in my life, but I needed proof. I was at the mercy of the dragon, my knights gone, my sword missing, only a spear as my weapon. Then one of its claws came down and everything went black. When I woke, the dragon had somehow disappeared and you were just standing there. I thought, this is his chance. There is no possible explanation as to how I was alive, how you had managed to save both of us - save Camelot - without magic. He’ll finally reveal himself and claim his reward. He’ll finally claim his glory and demand whatever it is he is after. What his whole point of being here is.”
Merlin swallows, on the verge of tears.
“Do you remember what you said?” Arthur whispers, a small grin tugging his lips.
He tries to speak, the lump in his throat making it hard to breath.
Arthur smirks. “ You did it!” he mocks in a horrid impression of his servant, a chuckle bubbling out of Merlin as tears slip free. “ You dealt him a mortal blow. You did it!”
They lay there, Merlin laughing and crying, Arthur watching the fool with the biggest smile on his face.
“That’s when I realized,” Arthur chimes, Merlin coming down from his fit of giggles, “you couldn’t possibly have some secret agenda, Merlin, because you are a god awful liar. I mean, I always knew you were but when you said that, just, really .” He huffs when Merlin starts up again, more tears falling across his cheeks. “That’s when everything made sense. Why you always insisted on coming with me, how you always seemed to survive the worst situations, why so many branches fell onto our enemies. Seriously, for awhile I honestly thought the forest was infested with termites! Do you know how many hunting trips I’d spent worrying a branch was suddenly going to fall on top of me?”
“I wouldn’t have let that happen,” Merlin laughs, wiping his tears away.
“Yes, thank you, but I wasn’t aware of that.”
Arthur lets out a sigh, his eyes glancing back to the sky, spotting the first few stars to shine as night came.
“You have no idea how relieved I was in that moment, for everything. The dragon was gone, my kingdom was safe, I was alive, you were alive, and I finally had my proof. Proof enough for me... I thought, this damn dollop-head is going to be the end of me… I love him so much.”
Merlin chokes back a sob, struggling to keep his voice steady.
“My job, my purpose, has always and will always be to serve you, Arthur. I could never betray you, and I would never purposely bring harm to you or your people. I live to be your guide and help you become the greatest king to ever live. Our destinies are intertwined, and I am truly honored to be the one at your side.”
Arthur hums, a smile crossing his face. “I love you, too, Merlin.”
Merlin broke, the first sob brushing past his lips. Arthur grabs his hand, Merlin quickly covering his eyes with the other, cries pouring out of him as he hiccups and trembles.
“It’s ok, Merlin,” Arthur mumbles as he curls himself around the lengthy man, Merlin pushing himself closer into his king's chest. “I’m here,” he runs his hands through black, poofy locks. “I’m here, it’s ok. Everything is going to be ok.”
Merlin squeezes his hand. “I love you, Arthur. I love you, I love you, I love you-”
“I know, Merlin. I love you, too. I love you so much. Thank you for always being by my side. Thank you for protecting me, even when I was too much of an ass to deserve it. Thank you for protecting my kingdom and the people in it. Thank you for loving me. Thank you, thank you…”
His words fade, lips resting on the top of Merlin’s head.
They stay like that until the moon rises above their heads, the warm summer breeze rustling the trees in the distance. Arthur peaks down at the still form in his arms, seeing Merlin’s puffy eyes closed as the warlock snores quietly.
Arthur exhales a long, heavy breath. “You’re lucky I love you.”
If the guards had anything to say about the king carrying his sleeping manservant like a bride into the castle, they wisely kept it to themselves.