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"Your co-workers are adorable, Arthur! How long have they been together?"
"Skip's worked with us four years now and Douglas has been here since-"
"No, no, not working with you, I mean together."
"Well, I suppose at first they didn't get on too well, but they've been mostly friends since we went to Douz and the cricketers-"
"No. I mean... well. They are a couple, right?"
"A couple of what?"
"...hm. I guess it's not really any of my business, it's just. The way they were looking at each other, when the other one wasn't looking, they reminded me of another couple I know that took a long while to get it, and- Oh! Maybe they don't know yet."
"There isn't much Douglas doesn't know, and Martin's got the manual memorised, so-"
"No, no. I mean knowing things about themselves, and each other."
"I really don't-"
"Just. The next flight you're on, Arthur, watch them. See if you see it too."
---
"Something we can help you with, Arthur?"
"...no?"
"Don't you have passengers to annoy?"
"They're asleep."
"So you've decided to loom over us in the flight deck instead?"
"I'm watching you."
"...that's not creepy at all."
"Why are you watching us, Arthur?"
"...I don't quite know."
"Could you stop watching us and go get us coffees?"
"Right-oh."
---
"So? Did you see?"
"See what?"
"Your co-workers. Do you see what I mean?"
"I don't know what you mean, so I don't know how I could see what you mean if I don't know what that is."
"You watched them though?"
"Until they made me stop, yeah."
"And how did they look at each other? When the other one wasn't looking?"
"Oh! Well. Hm. When I came in just after takeoff, Skip was at the controls and talking about something from the manuals and wind and runways and things, and looking straight out the cockpit window, and Douglas was... hunh."
"Douglas was what?"
"Sort of smiling at him, in a crinkly sort of a way. Like you were when we watched that TV show you like and there was that kissing scene you said you'd been waiting for for months, and then we kissed too and that was brilliant and-"
"Yes, and what about the other way round? How does 'Skip' look at Douglas?"
"Normally, really... When I brought them coffee, though. Douglas was saying something I didn't catch and they laughed, kind of softly, and then Skip looked at him the way he looks at a 747."
"And how's that?"
"Like he wants to get inside it and fly it all day lo- Ooo, blimey!"
"See?"
"But, but if they both feel like that, why aren't they together?"
"Hm. They might just need a little nudge."
---
"You're sure about this Arthur? These tickets can't have been cheap."
"I'm positive. I bought them so I- I could go see the play, um. With Molly! But Molly had an emergency! At work! With the dead people! And um. Idon'twanttogoifshecan'tgo and the tickets are only for tonight because we're in London overnight and Molly's in London but Molly can't go so theticketsneedtobeused or they'll be a waste soMollysaidIshouldgivethemtoyoubecause-"
"Breathe, Arthur."
"Ah! I mean yes. You should go. Both of you. Together. You'll like it."
"Well of course I'll like it. I've seen The Mousetrap before."
"Oh... I hadn't thought of that."
"But since there's a ticket needing used and it's too late to flog it on eBay, I'll do you the favour of using it for you."
"Oh phew. And you Skip?"
"...I don't know, Arthur. I've never been to a play before."
"You've never been to a play before?"
"Not really, Douglas. Well, school plays and one of Other-Martin's plays, you remember him-"
"Paramount Martin!"
"Er. Yes, Arthur. Anyway. Just little theatre stuff, put on in a civic centre or converted church, not a proper London West End play in a proper theatre. There's bound to be a dress code and I don't even own a proper suit outside of my uniform. I'd look like an idiot going to something like that!"
"But, but-"
"Come on, Martin! It's a free ticket. I've been to plays before and the audience is not as upscale as you'd think, and none of them will be concerned with your attire unless it flashes, makes noise, takes up two seats or otherwise disrupts the play. Your shirt and uniform trousers will be fine."
"Well..."
"Come on, Skip!"
"Also, you've never been to The Mousetrap before. I must insist you go, so I can watch you try to figure out 'whodunnit'."
"Oh right. So you can make fun of me later."
"Heavens no. What on earth would give you that idea?"
"Alright, fine. I'll go."
"Hooray!"
"Thank you, Arthur."
"No, thank you, Skip!"
---
"Arthur Shappey speaking!"
"Hi Arthur, it's Molly. Did they go?"
"Yes! That was a brilliant idea with the tickets! They're not back yet though and it's awfully late, I hope nothing's- wait, I think I hear them in the hall now!"
"What are they saying?"
"I can't tell. They must've had a good time though, they sound really happy. Skip's a bit giggly, even."
"Good, good. ...They aren't sharing the room with you are they?"
"No, they have one across the hall, I'm sharing with Mum, but then Herc showed up and they're off seeing another opera, one about Don somebody. ...Oh, wait. They've gone quiet in the hall now. Should I take a look?"
"Don't! I mean. Don't open your door. Look out the peep hole."
"Oh, right. ...Ohhh wow!"
"Shh! They'll hear you!"
"Right, sorry. It's just they were standing there looking at each other with funny sort of smiles for a bit, then Douglas put his hand on Skip's cheek and then Skip closed his eyes and then they leaned in-"
"Eeee! I knew it!"
"They've gone in their room now. It's like magic how you could see that they would be like that! I mean, you only saw them that once and knew, and I see them all the time and didn't know at all! And I've had training in Ipswich!"
"Well. I've got a sort of, um. Friend. He observes things. I must have picked up a bit of the habit."
"It's brilliant!"
"It's rather late but do you think we could meet somewhere for coffee?"
"Sure! Though not too much. Mum will be mad if she has to peel me off the ceiling again."
---
"Arthur's leaving now."
"D-do you think he saw that? The um. The kissing thing?"
"Absolutely. Honestly, Arthur is the most horrible liar in the world. I don't know how he or his pathologist girlfriend thought that theatre ticket ploy wouldn't be obvious."
"Right. So. They're going to think we're together now."
"He's probably off to meet her so they can congratulate each other at successfully playing Cupid."
"And of course you're going to- to. Tell him it was all a joke? In the morning?"
"And crush his pride at his success? No, that would be cruel. I think we could perhaps... carry on a bit. Don't you?"
"We could?"
"Nothing too overt, of course. Nothing you'd be uncomfortable with. Just... touches. Smiles and glances. That sort of thing."
"More kissing?"
"...if you're amenable."
"Oh. Well. I think I am- I might be. I mean I could be. Amenable."
"Could you, now?"
"Oh yes. I mean I think. If- If you are?"
"Well. That is a question, isn't it?"
"I mean, it's okay if you're not! I don't- I shouldn't have-"
"Martin."
"It's not like I- Hm?"
"I think it might be a question we could find the answer to, with a little more practice?"
"P- prac... Douglas? Practice?"
"Of course. The 'kissing thing'. We'll need to try more of it."
"More?"
"In private. Rehearse, so to speak."
"Mmm. Rehearse. Is that- You- you have your hand on my leg."
"Yes. I hope that's all right?"
"Ohh, more than all right."
"You know, I'm thinking, Martin... Perhaps we won't need to pretend to have a relationship to protect Arthur's pride after all."
"Oh. But I- I wouldn't mind pretending! For- for Arthur's sake, of course! T- touching, kissing, anything you want, Douglas! I can pretend-"
"No. I mean, I really don't think we'll need to pretend. Will we?"
"Oh. ...Oh! You- you really mean you and I...?"
"Yes, Martin. I really do."
"So we won't need to practice then?"
"Hm. More like... Lots and lots of hours of practicing. In fact, I don't think we'll ever stop practicing."
"Oh. I- I like the sound of that."
"Come here."
{The End}