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my heart beats on caffeine [take a sip, please]
Logan had been on the receiving end of too many shots of caffeine before. In fact, he had noticed that most of the times Thomas took too many sips of caffeine, it was either because of himself or Anxiety - Virgil, as the defeatist called himself. No, Logic thought briefly, he couldn’t call him that anymore. Virgil tried many times to not bring the whole group down. It was odd; Anxiety was odd. Even if they were all just facets of Thomas’s personality, Anxiety wasn’t exactly one to fit in. It wasn’t as if the trait exactly wanted to fit in either - He hadn’t exactly tried to fit in, either. Even with the whole sorting-situation with professional make-believe, Virgil didn’t make too much of an effort to fit in.
…Which bothered Logan to no end.
It didn’t make logical sense to him; If Virgil desperately wanted to “fit in” and not to be “rejected,” then why did he always scoot away whenever they were by themselves? Why did Virgil insist on being the… “angsty” “emo”? It didn’t make sense - He paused. Then again, all the other traits didn’t exactly follow logic… that was himself, so of course they wouldn’t. But Logan wanted to know what went on in the lonely trait’s head. Was the fear of rejection really all that set Anxiety off- well, technically, yes that was the answer. Yet, Logan didn’t have enough data to conclude so.
Opportunity showed its head as Logan rounded the corner to see Virgil whipping up - was that whipped cream?
“Virgil,” Logan moved to the kitchen, faintly noticing Anxiety stiffing up at the name. Odd. “What are you doing?”
“I-” Virgil took a deep breath, and Logan stared at him from across the kitchen island. “’M just making some coffee. What, did I do something?”
His voice came out hostile, and Logan couldn’t help the slight shock that came to his brain. “…No. You should really not jump to such conclusions. Without proper data-gathering, one could coincidentally pursue an endeavor that is-”
The blank stare that Virgil gave him was enough for Logan. He sighed. “Don’t jump to conclusions without all the facts, otherwise you’ll be making a lot of mistakes.”
“Look,” Virgil dropped the spoon he was holding, and Logan shifted, craning his neck around to see what exactly Virgil was making. “I know what you think of me. Don’t think that that whole fitting in thing made it any better. You don’t like me, I get it, I ruin your data-flow.”
“You may be a bit… unpredictable, at times - that much is true. But you aren’t nearly as insouciant or reckless as the others.” Logan paused, eyes wandering away from Virgil. “You see everything a lot better than they do. Morality is too optimistic, Princey too obnoxious.”
And for some reason, as Logan glanced back up at Virgil, he found himself not wanting to point out Anxiety’s own negatives. For some, illogical, insane reason he couldn’t comprehend… Logan frowned to himself. “And… And I suppose that I myself may have a couple of insensitivities. I mean, perfection is unattainable.”
Virgil snorted, and Logan looked directly at him. Anxiety was fiddling with the strings at his hoodie, pointedly ignoring Logan’s stare. “You? Don’t you want, I dunno, efficiency above all else?”
“Well,” Logan said, a bit of a huff coming out of his breath, “Short answer, yes - Efficiency must be reached. Otherwise, what’s the point?”
Virgil stiffened and turned around, focusing on the cup of…something instead of him. “That’s what I keep saying-”
Logan adjusted his glasses, eyes narrowing. “You don’t understand.”
“Pretty sure I do.”
“No.” Logan paused, “No, no I do believe you don’t. I know you don’t.”
Suddenly, everything was sowing itself back together. The puzzle that was Anxiety had perplexed him for so long, yet… How could he have not noticed this? (Thomas would be disappointed-)
“You want 100% or nothing, I want 100% and something. That’s what you don’t understand,” Logan found himself moving towards Anxiety. Virgil’s eyes widened just a fraction, and Logan met those eyes head on. “I do not care if we fail. That does not matter to me. Did you know that the greatest discoveries were accidents? If all we did were to succeed, then we’d learn nothing. I don’t care if Thomas gets an A or an F - though, if he an F, I’d have to seriously consider my job - atleast he tried. That is what you don’t know, Virgil.”
Tentatively, Logan adjusted his glasses, fiddling with them for seconds. “I… I believe that you are scared of trying. You’re afraid you’ll fail Thomas, so you prevent him from trying.”
“I don’t- I don’t mean to-” Virgil’s fist tightened, and Logan quickly reprimanded himself. Emotions. Right - he couldn’t be too factual. “I’m just trying to help.”
“I know.” Emotion - how does one deal with emotion? His mind flashed to Morality, the exuberant touches, and to Princy with his grand gestures. He couldn’t do any of those but… Logan raised his hand onto Anxiety’s shoulder. “Sometimes though, the best thing we can do to help Thomas is let him be. We cannot control all that Thomas is - otherwise, he’d be just Anxiety or Logic and nothing else. The caged bird may sing, but the free one may touch the skies.”
Virgil. Logan couldn’t tell what was going on in his head, but his eyes were towards the ground. For a brief second, Logan panicked, wondering if he had harmed Anxiety’s emotions somehow when Virgil took a deep breath and looked up at him. “Yeah- Yeah, you’re right. ‘Guess he can’t be dark and gloomy all the time.”
Logan felt a small smile grow on his face, and Virgil mirrored that motion if just a second. He took back his arm, coughing and adjusting his necktie. He moved just out of the kitchen, rolling his shoulders. Now that that conundrum was over, Logan could go back to-
Logan paused. What had he come here for?
Oh, yes. “Virgil, if you don’t mind me asking…”
“Hm?”
“What are you making?”
“Oh.” Virgil rubbed his neck, stepping to the side. “…Coffee.”
And there, on display, was a cup - With layers on top of layers of whipped cream, drizzles of chocolate, and sprinkles of rainbow and peppermint dancing all around. While Logan had heard about Anxiety’s crazy obsession with sugar, but this…
“You are truly sweet… in both your food choices and personality.” Logan muttered out. Wait. No, he did not just-
“What?”
“Nothing. I just said I would like one aswell.”
“With-”
“Yes, with- with all that sugar nightmare ontop.” Even if Logan didn’t like sweets, it would be worth it - for Virgil.
Virgil rolled his eyes, but Logan could make out a faint smile. “You got it, boss.”