Chapter Text
The field trip hadn't even started yet, and Stan already wanted to go home. The kids crowding around the bus were too fucking loud, his head was aching, and his super best friend wasn't anywhere in sight. Why were they going on this thing again? Neither of them even really liked skiing. It'd kind of being ruined for Stan after that stupid trip to Aspen when they were ten.
Goddamn it, he was going to kill Kyle later. He'd promised that they wouldn't get separated because he'd promised that they would sit together on the bus. Preferably in the front because they always sat in the front, and all the bullshit happened in the last few rows. Stan and Kyle had agreed on a strict No Bullshit policy for this trip. Somehow, Stan found it hard to believe that would work out in their favor.
The wind whipped through his hair as he looked through the throng of students for a shock of red hair and found nothing. In the distance, Kenny and Craig's little sisters were taking turns playing with each other's hair in the grass as the older kids prepared to board the buses. A group of mothers stood nearby, gossiping and exchanging recipes.
"Hey, Marsh!" A nasty voice called from behind him. Stan turned to face the speaker, rolling his eyes. It was Craig Tucker, standing with one hand firmly in Tweek's back pocket and an annoying glint in his eye.
He and his boyfriend were standing on the curb next to one of the buses, backlit by the fading sun. Tweek was smirking in between sips of coffee, already amused with whatever the dumbass next to him was about to say. Fucking typical. Craig really brought out the bitch in him.
"Where's your boyfriend?" Craig teased, sneering. Stan rolled his eyes for the second time in ten seconds, which was maybe a new record.
"I can't find him." Stan said, and immediately swore under his breath, realizing his mistake. He knew Craig was referring to Kyle.
"You can't find him?" Tweek asked, laughing. "Meaning that he is your boyfriend?"
Stan groaned. By themselves, Tweek and Craig were both kind of bland and generally harmless. Together, they were basically insufferable. When they weren't with their dumb friends, they spent a lot of time just hanging around and making fun of everyone else. Assholes.
"Fuck off! You know what I meant."
"All I know is that you're totally gay, Marsh. How long are you gonna stay in denial?" Craig asked, mocking. Tweek stifled a laugh with another sip through his straw.
"That's really rich coming from you, asshole." Stan muttered, already over this conversation and becoming increasingly aware of the throbbing in his head.
"At least I can admit that I'm gay, dude. I've never seen anyone as repressed as you."
"I hope your dick shrivels up and falls off." Stan said simply, turning away. Craig just shrugged, leaning down to steal a sip from Tweek's straw.
Stan walked further into the crowd of high schoolers and parents, looking a little frantically for Kyle. He hoped he hadn't stumbled into some adventure without him. He frowned. He really had to stop fixating on Kyle so much. He was supposed to be getting over this stupid crush! The goth kids had helped him write dumb, lovestruck poetry a few weekends ago as a means of catharsis, and that had only made things worse.
Distracted by the mess of hormones and confusion swirling incessantly in his brain, Stan nearly ran headfirst into a mass of blue fabric. He grunted, startled out of his Kyle induced stupor and back into the real world.
Kenny McCormick turned around, already grinning. Even in the almost darkness, Kenny looked super model hot. He'd traded out the trademark orange of his childhood for a baby blue parka, and it did absolute wonders for his eyes.
"Stanley Marsh!" Kenny announced with gusto, as though they hadn't seen each other in years. Stan quirked a smile.
Kenny had picked up two extra jobs to pay off this field trip because there was no way in hell he could convince his parents' to give a rat's ass about "the high school experience" or "maintaining meaningful friendships", and Stan was glad he'd pulled through with the funding. When Kenny felt like it, he could be the life of a party. And tonight, by the looks of it, he felt like it.
"Are you high?" Stan asked suspiciously, noting his reddened eyes. Kenny's grin only widened.
"Why? You jealous?"
Stan scoffed.
"Yeah, right. Kyle would kill me." Stan said. Kyle thought that the use of marijuana for recreational purposes was completely irresponsible.
"Stan!" Kenny scolded, eyes wide. "You've gotta stop talking about Kyle!"
Stan mentally berated himself, resisting the urge to stomp his foot in frustration. Fuck! Kenny was right. He needed to get Kyle off his mind...But speaking of Kyle, where was he?
"Okay, yes. I know I shouldn't be talking about him, and I know it's only gonna make it harder for me to get over him. But in the meantime, do you know where he is?"
Kenny looked incredulous. Stan had drunkenly let slip to him his feelings for Kyle one night, laying on his bed spread out like a starfish and insisting the crush was fleeting and purely hormonal. But that was nine months ago, and Stan still felt his lungs cave in when he and Kyle so much as made eye contact.
"Stan! This isn't helping your situation!" Kenny exclaimed, voice rising.
Stan hushed him, glancing around to make sure no one was listening to them. It seemed that everyone was too caught up in their own teenage bullshit to care.
"This isn't helping your situation, Stan." Kenny repeated, this time in a whisper.
"What am I supposed to do, Ken?" Stan hissed back. "Stop talking to him altogether? He's my best friend! We're sitting on the bus together, whether you like it or not."
"Are you sure one of you can't just sit with me?" Kenny whined. "I don't want to sit with Cartman. All he does is try to steal other people's food and watch those stupid cringe compilations on his phone."
Stan laughed lightheartedly at the distressed expression on Kenny's face.
"Sorry dude. Hey! Maybe we could sit Cartman and Kyle together." He joked. Kenny chuckled too, wrinkling his nose at the thought.
"No thanks. We aren't ready for World War Three just yet. Especially if those two are the opposing forces."
"Yeah." Stan agreed. "The military doesn't have the technology yet to fight Cartman's huge ass."
The boys' laughter was interrupted by a megaphone, catching everyone's attention. It was the principal, poised to make some kind of announcement.
"Students, parents, and faculty." He said, voice echoing in the parking lot. "Within the next five minutes, we will begin filing onto the buses. Be sure to do this in a manner that is both calm and considerate of those around you."
There was a silence as the crowd absorbed this information, murmuring their agreement and nodding.
"But most importantly, junior class, be sure to have fun! Go cows!" The principal added, pumping a fist in the air.
The student body erupted into cheers and whooping, and Stan looked worriedly at Kenny.
"We're leaving soon!" He said. "Is Kyle still not here?"
Kenny's eyebrows furrowed, looking around for their friend.
"That is getting weird. Kyle's always on time."
"I know! I bet Ike is doing something to make them late. That kid's such a little bitch."
Kenny laughed, only half paying attention because Bebe Stevens was walking by and looking beautiful in a winter ensemble of pastel pinks and blues.
"Bebe!" He called, wiggling his eyebrows. "Are we gonna share a cup of hot cocoa when we get to the lodge?"
Wendy grimaced, clutching at Bebe's arm and trying to tug her away, but Bebe still stopped and flashed Kenny a dazzling grin. Her teeth were perfectly white, and even in the cold wind her red lipstick wasn't cracking.
"We'll see!" She teased playfully, winking before stepping into the nearest bus. Wendy glared briefly at both boys before following behind her best friend.
"What's her problem?" Kenny asked, looking at an equally surprised Stan.
"Uh, I think she might be jealous? That's her jealous face. At least in my experience."
"You think Wendy likes me? Sweet!"
Stan smirked, raising a patronizing eyebrow.
"Try again, idiot. I think she likes Bebe."
Kenny gaped, looking back at the spot where the girls had been standing in wonderment.
"Woah dude, seriously?"
Stan shrugged, stuffing his hands in the pockets of his jacket.
"All I'm saying this that I dated Wends for a long time, and I know her pretty well. That face she gave you? That's jealousy. The way she looks at Bebe? That's love."
Kenny opened his mouth to reply, but was interrupted by a familiar voice behind Stan.
"Oh my god, Ma, I get it!" Kyle yelled, looking exasperated. "I'm not gonna drink any alcohol, and I'm not gonna break any limbs!"
"Don't take the Lord's name in vain, Kyle!" Sheila scolded, patting at her son's hair in an effort to flatten in. Kyle smacked her hand away, annoyed.
"Yeah, Kyle!" Ike added tauntingly. "Don't take the Lord's name in vain!"
Kyle scowled at his little brother, who at age 12 was only a few inches taller than him. Apparently his birth father had given him some kind of giant gene, which was a little bit infuriating. Ike stuck his tongue out, cackling at Kyle's annoyance.
"Hey, Kyle!" Kenny greeted. "And hey, Ike!"
Kenny high fived the younger boy, which then escalated into some overly complex handshake the two had created. Kenny was really fucking good with kids.
"Hi, Ken." Kyle said, adjusting the straps on his backpack. "And hey, Stan."
Stan glanced down to avoid staring directly into Kyle's eyes, swallowing awkwardly. Jesus, he thought. Way to be subtle, Marsh.
"Hey, Kyle. We're still sitting together on the bus, right?"
Kyle looked confused at the question, and for a second Stan was scared he no longer wanted to sit with him.
"Duh." He said, shoving Stan's shoulder gently. "When have we not?"
Stan hoped Kyle would excuse the pink in his cheeks as a result of the cold wind. Kyle gave his mom a sideways hug and fist bumped his little brother.
"Bye, guys!" He said, clearly eager to get out from under his mother's watchful eye. She looked on the verge of worried tears now, as they boys began climbing into the bus.
"Front seat?" Stan asked, confirming what he already knew. Kyle nodded.
"Here, you take the window." Stan offered in what he hoped was a chivalrous gesture. Kyle smiled appreciatively, and Stan could feel his heart soar.
The smile only lasted for a moment though, as he sat down and looked out the window.
"Oh, god. Cartman's here." He groaned, looking away from the glass. "Is he sitting with you, Kenny?"
Kenny slid into the seat behind them, looking apologetic.
"I think so. Unless you can find someone who doesn't have a bus buddy."
At that moment, Cartman strolled onto the bus looking smug. Stan never understood how someone could be so self deluded, convincing himself that he was cool and well liked when he so clearly was not.
"Hello, Kyle." Cartman drawled, smirking. "Oh, are you and your life partner sitting in front of us? This should be fun!"
Kyle stood up in his seat, propping his elbows on the one in front of him and glowering.
"No." He said blankly. "Go to the back of the bus. Butters is gonna sit with Kenny."
Cartman gawked, the smirk sliding off his face instantaneously.
"What the fuck? I'm sitting here, Jew. Kenny already said I could."
Kyle looked ready to start throwing punches if it was necessary, and Stan knew he would not be dealing with any of Cartman's bitching tonight.
"Well Kenny changed his mind, idiot. Now fucking go to the back before I kick your ass."
Cartman looked flustered, his face turning red with anger as he glanced around the bus.
"Fine! Who needs you guys? You're such a dick, Kyle!" He yelled, storming to the back of the bus.
Stan and Kenny laughed as Kyle sat back down in a huff. Wendy and Bebe both gave them thumbs up from a few seats away.
"How do you know Butters isn't already sitting with someone?" Kenny asked. Kyle gave him a look that implied the answer was obvious.
"Dude, it's Butters. What do you think?"
Kenny chuckled, but Stan felt kind of bad. Butters was nice and all, but he never quite fit in with his classmates. Poor kid.
"My coffee's already almost gone!" Tweek cried, stepping into the bus with Craig in tow, rolling his eyes.
"Of course it is! I told you this would happen twenty minutes ago. Why would you start drinking it before we even got on the bus?"
"Oh, I'm so sorry I have an addictive personality!" Tweek said sarcastically. "Why would you let me keep drinking it?"
"You're such a drama queen!"
The couple sat down in the seats directly across the aisle from Stan and Kyle, sulking.
"Are you two gonna be fighting all night?" Kenny asked. "Because if that's the case, you should move."
"That depends on if Craig keeps being a dick." Tweek said, tapping his boyfriend on the nose.
Craig tried to stifle a smile and failed, laughing. Tweek's face softened too, and Craig planted a kiss to the bridge of his nose.
"Ugh, that's even worse." Kyle said. "You guys are so sappy."
"Don't be a homophobe, Broflovski." Craig said dryly.
"It'd be gross if one of you was a girl, too, Tucker." Kyle retorted.
"I kind of agree." Clyde said as he and Token arrived, getting behind Tweek and Craig. "You guys can be a little much sometimes."
"You're just jealous, Clyde." Craig said. He kissed Tweek again, this time on the lips. Tweek squealed in surprise as the others groaned.
Stan turned away from them to look at Kyle, who had pulled out a book and begun to read. Stan bent over to read the cover. It was something about Sigmund Freud, evidently.
"Liking the book, Kyle?" He asked conversationally. Kyle shrugged.
"It's alright, I guess. I know Freud's theories are mostly nonsense, but they're still pretty cool to read about."
"Are you saying you don't want to fuck your own mom?" Cartman jeered from where he was eavesdropping at the back of the small bus. Stan barely remembered enough from his psych class to recognize that he was referencing one of Freud's theories. The Oedipal Complex.
"The only mom I want to fuck is yours!" Kyle called back automatically, causing Cartman to scowl and everyone else to laugh.
"N-Nice one, Kyle." Jimmy Valmer said as he stepped into the bus. He sat behind Clyde and Token, taking up a whole seat to make room for his crutches.
Butters was close behind him, looking nervously around the bus for a place to sit.
"Butters, dude!" Kenny said, alerting the other boy's attention with a cupped hand around his mouth. "I saved you a seat!"
Butters smiled, shoulders relaxing.
"Gee, Ken. That's awful nice of you." Butters said, rushing to sit down.
Tweek and Craig rolled their eyes at each other, clearly not big fans of Butters. Stan gave them a disapproving look.
"Jesus, it's getting late." Kyle commented. "When are we leaving?"
"Oh, uh, just a few minutes, I think." Butters said. "But we still won't be getting there until late."
"Gah!" Tweek cried, tugging at a lock of his hair. "I don't think I'm gonna be able to sleep."
"Yeah, because you drank all your fucking coffee!" Craig said, but he started running his hand through Tweek's hair and he didn't really look mad.
After a few minutes the bus driver walked in and sat down, looking at the kids in the rearview mirror.
"No yelling on my bus. No singing. No standing up. You know the drill." He said simply, starting the vehicle.
"Can do!" Kenny said with a joking salute to the driver.
As the bus began to move Kyle went back to his book, and Stan let his eyes linger for a while on his face, illuminated by the moonlight. Kyle hated the sharp curve of his nose, but Stan thought it was sort of cute. Scratch that. Very cute. Kenny thumped the back of Stan's head and glared, chastising him for staring. Goddamn it.
He turned to look the other way, and his eyes landed on the other boys. Tweek was turned around in his seat and tossing grapes at Clyde, who had his mouth wide open in an attempt to catch them. None of them landed, and Tweek and Jimmy collapsed into giggles every time they missed.
A few rows behind them, Bebe was showing Wendy a video on her phone and they were both laughing too. Stan felt a little left out, looking at his his peers having so much fun.
"Hey, guys!" He said suddenly, turning around to face Kenny and Butters. "Do you want to play a game? This is gonna be a long ass ride."
"Why, s-sure!" Butters said. Kenny shrugged.
"Yeah, why not?"
"Cool. Do you want to play, Kyle?"
"Uh, nah, dude." Kyle said, looking up briefly from his book. "I'm gonna read."
Stan pretended not to be disappointed.
"What game?" Clyde asked, butting in from across the aisle. They were, apparently, out of grapes.
"Um, truth or dare?" Stan suggested, suddenly recalling the time he built a treehouse for Wendy just on the chance he might have gotten dared to kiss her. Man, he wished it could be that easy with Kyle.
"There aren't many dares you can do while sitting on a bus, Marsh." Craig pointed out disdainfully. Stan sighed.
"Alright, fine. Then...I guess just truth?"
"Truth or truth?" Token asked skeptically.
"Do you guys have any better ideas?" Stan asked, annoyed.
"Touché." Craig said. "Let's play, I love finding out new blackmail material. You go first, baby."
Tweek looked a little taken off guard, his eyes widening.
"Oh! Um. Kenny! What's your...favorite movie?"
"Lame!" Clyde said.
"I'm sorry, I panicked!" Tweek said. "Craig put me on the spot!"
"My favorite movie is Groundhog Day." Kenny said. "I like when the guy dies over and over again but always comes back to life the next day."
"Great. Now can someone ask a question that's actually good?" Clyde said, earning matching glares from Tweek and Craig.
"Okay, fine." Craig said. "Clyde, are you a virgin?"
Clyde blushed, cringing.
"Shit, dude, I-um-" He stammered.
"You have to be honest, Clyde!"
"Fine, yes!" He admitted. "God, you're an asshole. I know you already know that."
"It's okay, Clyde!" Butters assured him. "We're only seventeen! You still have plenty of time."
"Yeah, great. Whatever." Clyde said, clearly wanting to move on from the subject. "My turn. Jimmy, if you had to pick a celebrity to fuck, who would it be?"
The others laughed, considering the prospects. Jimmy looked thoughtful for a moment before deciding on his response.
"Kate Upton, d-duh. Or m-maybe Meg T-Tu-Turney."
The others nodded in approval.
"Solid choices." Token commented. "Your turn."
"B-butters." Jimmy said, turning to him. Butters looked very nervous, anticipating his question. "What's the l-last thing on your br-bro-browser h-history?"
"Oh, hamburgers!" Butters said anxiously, pulling out his phone to check. "I don't know about this, fellas."
"You have to be honest, Butters!" Kenny reminded him with a grin.
Butters pulled up his search history and read it, looking relieved.
"Oh, it's nothing bad!" He said. "I just looked up 'How do hairless cats stay warm in the winter?'! I was worried about 'em."
Clyde groaned in disappointment at the anticlimactic answer.
"Alright, don't let Butters ask one. If the questions aren't juicy, there's no point."
"Hey, how do you know my question wasn't gonna be juicy?" Butters argued.
"Was it?" Craig countered. Butters sulked.
"No." He admitted.
"I'll ask one!" Kenny said excitedly. "Craig, what's the weirdest shit you and Tweek have ever done during sex? I'm assuming you've had sex."
Tweek blushed, bringing a hand up to cover his face.
"Why does his question have to affect me?" He asked.
"Are you okay with me answering this?" Craig asked him. Stan was quietly endeared by the question, always surprised to see how considerate Craig could be when it came to his boyfriend. Tweek shrugged.
"Sure, whatever."
"You're all unhealthily fixated on sex." Kyle commented commented offhandedly.
"Fuck off, Broflovski!" Clyde said. "Craig, answer."
"We're honestly the most vanilla couple in the world." Craig said, monotonous as ever. Tweek turner even redder, burying his face into Craig's shoulder.
"God, that's embarrassing!" He said, voice muffled by the fabric of Craig's jacket.
"Aw, I think it's sweet!" Butters said, his expression softening.
"Oh." Tweek said awkwardly, lifting his head up. "Um, thanks?"
"My turn." Craig said, zeroing in on Stan. "Stan Marsh, you're up!"
"Oh, God." Stan groaned.
"What's the last thing you jacked off too?"
Stan flinched as his friends all stared at him, waiting for an answer. Kenny laughed. Kyle glanced up from his book. Stan thought back to a couple nights previous. It'd been gay porn he was watching while he masturbated. He identified as bisexual, but it had been Kyle, and therefore boys, occupying his thoughts lately. If he was being honest, Kyle was who was really on his mind two nights ago.
"Uh, some girl on girl porn." He lied, coming up with the blandest straight boy answer he could think of. Kyle returned to his book.
"Nice!" Clyde exclaimed, and was met with a collective eye roll.
"Gross." Craig said.
"Can you only get off to guys boning?" Kenny asked curiously.
"I don't need porn." Craig reminded him coldly. "I've got the real thing!"
He winked facetiously at Tweek, who rolled his eyes and smirked.
"Will you stop?" Kyle asked exasperatedly, tearing his gaze away from the book in his lap. Craig narrowed his eyes.
"What is that supposed to mean?" He asked.
"You know what the fuck I'm talking about." Kyle snapped, slamming his book shut. "You guys' PDA is so out of hand!"
"What?" Craig asked, leaning forward subconsciously as though ready for a fight. "You're just jealous that we have a happy relationship! Have you ever had one? I mean, ever?"
Stan flinched, making concerned eye contact with Kenny.
"This isn't about me!" Kyle responded, clearly deflecting. "It's about you and Tweek making everyone uncomfortable with your lovey dovey shit! You're, like, openly bragging about your perfect relationship!"
"We're just being our fucking selves!" Tweek shrieked defensively. "We're acting exactly like we do when you guys aren't around, we aren't just trying to show off! It's not our fault you wish you had this!"
Kyle huffed, crossing his arms and looking embarrassed.
"I'm not jealous, it's just that you two are obnoxious!"
"I'm taking another turn." Craig said darkly, focusing a glare in Kyle's direction. "Kyle, have you ever even kissed anyone? And no, that homeschool bitch from the fourth grade doesn't count."
Everyone was silent, waiting for a response. Kyle's mouth hung open in surprise and for once, he had nothing to say. Stan could see him starting to blush, and wished he could save him from the situation.
"No." He confessed after a beat of silence, his voice quiet and embarrassed. "I haven't."
Craig smirked, but Tweek just looked uncomfortable.
"That's what I thought." Craig said. Stan patted Kyle's shoulder, and Kenny reached his arm at an awkward angle over the seat to ruffle his hair. That just appeared to embarrass Kyle even further.
"Don't be a bitch, Craig." Tweek said, turning away from his boyfriend. At this, Craig looked regretful and suitably contrite.
"Uh, sorry, Kyle." Craig muttered, giving him an acknowledging nod.
"Whatever." Kyle muttered, also turning away from Craig to look out the window.
"Don't worry about it, dude." Stan whispered. Man, fuck Craig.
"It's alright, Kyle!" Butters assured him. "There's no need to be ashamed!"
The game seemed to have dispersed, and the boys all returned to their separate conversations. Stan didn't talk, letting Kyle get back to his book. As the bus moved forward, Stan felt Kyle's presence beside him heavily. He felt almost too close, like he was taking up all of the air and leaving Stan struggling for breath. Jesus fucking Christ, he looked gorgeous. How was it that he had never been kissed? The girls in South Park were missing out. Stan sighed.
Eventually, the conversation on the bus began to wane and kids began drifting to sleep. Tweek looked a bit like a kitten as he did, breathing slowly and twitching his nose. Craig ran soothing fingers through his boyfriend's hair, making sure he stayed calm and resting. Behind them, Wendy had fallen asleep with her head in Bebe's lap.
Kyle was among the last to fade, his hand still trapped between the pages of his book. His mouth always stayed hung open in his sleep, which could've been off putting if Stan didn't find it so cute. After a couple minutes of indulgent staring, Stan forced himself to look away. He found that looking at Kyle caused the beat of his heart to increase, and that was no way to fall asleep.