Chapter Text
When Leo fell down the stairs, he already knew it was going to hurt like a bitch.
He, however, did not at all expect to end up with a cast around his ankle, and lying on the couch the day after. While this in itself wasn’t a terribly bad thing- missing school is never a bad thing- he just didn’t expect it.
Leo was super ready to just chill when Nyssa threw a notepad at him.
“Ow, ” Leo complained, tossing the pad to the side. He wasn’t in any pain, but Nyssa managed to land the notepad in his bowl of cheese curls.
“You have chores.”
“But I can’t walk.”
Nyssa rolled her eyes. “I saw you get up to get nachos last night, I know you can walk.” To better guarantee the promise of chores being done, she snatched the remote, turned the TV onto an infomercial and placed the remote on the other side of the room.
“Y’know maybe I will watch this.” Leo pointed at the TV. The spokesperson was marveling at the wonders of cashmere sweaters and the lovely price of way-too-much-for-a-damn-blanket-with-sleeves.
Nyssa waved bye and slammed the door.
It took Leo only ten minutes of debating whether to buy a new sweater or actually do his chores to get him up. He hobbled and danced around his house, cleaning appliances, washing dishes, and sweeping dust.
He was traveling down the stairs to do the laundry when he saw a blob of gray. It jiggled like jello and slid across the stairs, leaving a slimy trail of nasty when it caught sight of Leo.
Leo squinted in the darkness. He flicked the light switch, but the lights didn’t come on.
“What the he-” His foot slid across the stair, and he went tumbling down the staircase.
“Crap,” Leo grunted, biting his lip. His foot was actually in pain now, and Leo didn't doubt that he actually needed his cast at this point. Out of the corner of his eye, a piece of clothing moved.
“What the hell?” Leo blinked as his boxers came swaying towards him. Underneath his boxers, right where the seat was, a glowing blue light blinked. Leo frowned when his boxers came closer.
“Come any closer, and I’ll hit you.” He grabbed the closest thing to him. A sock. Not exactly what he needed, but who knew what one needed to fight floating boxers?
The boxers fell to the ground, revealing the curious gray blob from earlier. It was more translucent now, with a glowing blue ball of light in the center.
Leo’s body was frozen as the blob crept closer and closer to Leo’s foot. He winced as he tried to move it away, but the pain blossoming from his ankle was too much to bear.
Ice cold seeped over his ankle, and Leo looked down with labored breathing. Oh god. The thing - whatever it was- was sitting on Leo’s ankle without any care in the world. It was beyond cold, and it’s oozing form seemed to solidify around Leo’s ankle.
After a few silent moments- except for Leo’s panicked breaths- the blob had become a hard donut shape around Leo’s ankle. It’s blue pulsing, turned to a calmer and pale yellow, sending warm waves to Leo’s bones. It was nice.
“Ow,” Leo winced, after feeling a tiny prick against the inside of his leg. The blob slinked off and dropped to the ground with a sickening splat. It slipped away, it’s core gone back to blue and slinked into the darkness of the basement.
When Leo came to his senses, he jumped, ran up the stairs, and slammed the door.
It was only when he was catching his breath and slid against the door when he noticed his ankle.
It was completely healed. His ankle had never felt better in his life.
Leo left the door locked, making sure his siblings don’t cross the door.
“Go away,” Leo staked out the basement door. “I’m doing laundry.”
His older brother, Jake, shook his head at him. “You’re crazy, Leo.”
“Go away,” Leo whined, poking a broomstick at Jake’s knees.
When it was dark and everyone went to sleep, Leo crept downstairs, ready for a battle. He’d seen enough alien movies to know that there was about a 75% chance that this was no friendly E.T.
Leo’s house wasn’t exactly prepped for an intergalactic war, so the teenager was only prepped with a rake, and a giant plastic shield Leo had gotten when he was eleven. He wore his old elbow and kneepads, a helmet, and his Heely’s just in case he needed to escape.
Leo tiptoed down the stairs, shining his flashlight. He was lucky that his shield could strap onto his arm so he had two hands free (though both were taken up by the rake and the flashlight so that perk was deemed useless anyway). His crutches were tossed aside because despite his earlier tumble, his ankle felt amazing.
“Come on out, little buddy,” Leo whispered into the dark. “I ain’t gonna hurt you if you surrender.” Behind him, there was the sound of paper crinkling. Leo whirled around and screamed.
The figure in the light screamed back.
“AHHHHHHHHHH!” Leo shined his flashlight over the naked girl in his basement.
In response, the girl continued screaming, “AHHHHHHHHH!”
“AHHHHHH! WHO ARE YOU!” Leo dropped the flashlight’s glare toward the ground. His eyes averted, after seeing the girl's ample chest swing toward him. Beneath her feet, are dozens of crinkling Playboy magazines.
The girl didn't seem to understand English but she took a step towards Leo, who jumped back. He’s seen enough crime shows. A naked girl in his basement? This was not looking very good for Leo.
After a quick second- the calm before the storm, Leo’s mind supplied- the girl made an animalistic screech. Leo fell to his knees, gasping as he covered his ears before his eardrums could burst. When the noise stopped, the girl charged at Leo.
Leo backed up into the wall, grunting when the girl’s face stood in front of him. Her eyes flickered through colors, and her nose shifted through shapes. The girl’s skin color grew paler than paper, before going through shades of brown to the blackest night. It’s like she was deciding her form.
“What are you going to do with me-” Leo’s breath caught when the female- no, this was something entirely inhuman- leaned in close. He let out a little squeak, as the thing breathed heavily on him, smelling sharply like antiseptic.
The creature made a whining noise and pressed its forehead against Leo’s. For a second, a bright light flashed in front of him.
Leo felt very warm.
Too warm. Like the sun was being pressed against his skin. Leo screamed as he felt his flesh bubble and melt away from his bones.
And then, as soon as it happens, the heat was gone. The creature pressed back, looking satisfied with itself, as its mouth tilted awkwardly.
“Leo.” It said.
And like anyone else would do in his position, Leo Valdez fainted.
Leo woke up, staring at his bedroom ceiling. He sat up, feeling faintly hungry but rather energized.
In the corner of his room, was a naked girl staring at him with wide eyes.
“Jesus.” Leo crawled back, his back hitting the headboard. “Who are you?”
“I do not know.” The girl’s voice sounded like Leo’s. It’s off-putting and very uncomfortable.
“What the fuck.”
“Apologies,” Her voice was now deeper, so deep that Leo might literally be talking to Satan in the pits of hell. Which was definitely more terrifying than any nightmare Leo could ever imagine. Also, the girl’s skin turned red. Is Leo talking to Satan himself? “Is this better?”
“Uh-”
“Wait,” At the sudden frequency change, her voice made Leo cringe and clutch his ears. She shifted in Leo’s beanbag chair. “Apologies.”
Her foot touched a pair of dirty sweatpants laying on Leo’s floor. Her body shifted, skin grew browner, eyes became smaller, hair grew curlier- until Leo was staring at himself. Leo 2 ran a hand through his hair. “Is this better?”
Leo gaped. He then, very calmly and very carefully, screamed into his pillow. What. The. Fuck.
“Can you avoid doing that?” The other Leo winced. His foot hit a comic book- one of Leo’s Superman comics that he found at a yard sale. God, now Leo was talking to Clark Kent. A naked Clark Kent.
In the oddity of it all, Leo might’ve had a dream like this.
“Is this better? Stop making the noise.” Clark Kent said. Leo slowly nodded, because if he saw another shift, he would pass out. Clark sounded like Leo, which was still disconcerting, but he would take it any day over the ruler of hell.
“What- who- Where-” Leo swallowed and looked away. “Oh my God, can you put on some pants at least? Or stop looking so old? This feels illegal.”
“Illegal. Contrary to, or forbidden by law.” Leo heard rustling. When he looked up, Clark Kent was now 17 and wearing jeans. Cool.
“Yeah, I know what it means, buddy. Can you not look so much like Superman, though? It’s kinda weird because you look exactly like him.”
Clark’s hair turned lighter- Leo caught his foot hitting a Green Arrow comic book- to a blond. The frames of his glasses went from black to gold. “Does this satisfy?”
“Gross.” Leo made a face. “What the heck are you, and why do you sound like me?”
“I do not know,” The pitch got a bit deeper- but not as deep as previously. It sounded… normal. “I think I am lost.”
“Lost. In my room. Right.” Leo tossed his legs over the bed. He made to stand up, but his foot slid and he crashed on the floor. His Heelys were still on from yesterday.
The right side of head blossomed with pain from where it hit the floor. “Uggh.”
“Do not move.” Clark rushed to Leo’s side. He moved in the blink of an eye- too fast for any human. His careful hands caressed Leo’s head and threaded through his hair. “You are bleeding.”
“Yeah, no shit, E.T.,” Leo groaned. This had to be a horror movie- he had an alien nurse taking care of him because of his stupid Heely’s. He would rather be in a Halloween movie, or Friday the 13th maybe. Freddy Krueger and Jason wouldn’t let him suffer this long.
“Just kill me now,” Leo thought he was hallucinating when he saw Clark’s hands glow yellow and hover over his face. “Freddy or Jason, whoever you are, please just take me. Kill me now. I am willing .”
“My name is neither Freddy or Jason,” Clark says. “Do you wish it to be?”
“No. Fucking end me.”
Clark’s hands pressed against Leo’s scalp. It was like the warm enveloping hands of an angel. Leo gasped, and his head darted up.
He felt fine. Better than fine.
“What the fuck kind of voodoo magic-”
“Apologies.” Clark averted his eyes. “My people communicate through touch. Is it not okay to heal when broken?”
Leo stared. “What.”
“Touch.” Clark held his hand out, fingers spread wide. He pressed his hand against Leo’s and clasped their fingers together. He closed his eyes. “You’re feeling confused and-”
Leo yanked his hand away, feeling violated and mentally prodded at. He hadn't felt anything necessarily, except for the coolness of their palms touching. “Don’t do that. Humans don’t do that crap.”
“Apologies-”
“Stop it.” Leo rubbed his head. He was still a bit shaken by the fact that he’s no longer bleeding. It was like the injury had never happened. “No one says ‘apologies’. Can’t you speak casually or something?”
“Yeah.” Clark seemed a bit more relaxed. “This is cool, right?”
“Definitely.” Leo sat up and folded his legs to his chest. He peeled his shoes off and threw them across the room. “What am I going to do with you? I still don’t understand what’s going on.”
“I’m not really sure, either,” Clark admitted. He ran a hand through his hair- perhaps a nervous trait he copied off of Leo? “I don’t remember who I am.”
“Got a name, dude? Calling you Clark Kent seems really fake.”
“No.” Clark made a face. “None that translates nicely.”
Leo scratched his nose. “Hit me with it.”
“Oaml s’ti Nosaj. S’ti ton neve a terces.” Clark coughed out. It sounded garbled and forced- Leo doubted the noises he was making are how they’re supposed to sound. “Oel, er’ouy yekwol gnieb yllaer bmud.”
“That sounded a hell of a lot longer than a name,” Leo said.
“I was speaking to you in my language,” Clark shrugged. “I figured that was your next question. My name’s Nosaj, though.”
“Nosaj, eh?” Leo frowns. “Got a nickname?”
“No.”
“Okay,” Leo stood up. After second thought, he gave Clark a hand and lifted him up. “I’m going to call you Jason. Because I’m pretty sure one of these days you might rip off that mask and murder me.”
“I wouldn’t.” Jason tried to assure Leo. A typical move of a murderer, Leo noted cautiously. “I doubt my species are barbarians.”
“Hey, wait a minute.” Leo squinted at Jason. “Are you Martian Manhunter? Is that why you shapeshift? And why the heck were you a naked girl? Do you want me to get arrested?”
“I’m not sure what that first part means, but the rest is easy. It’s touch.” Jason pressed his hand on Leo’s chest.
Leo slapped it away. “Seriously, dude. Stop touching me.”
Jason looked annoyed but he held his tongue about the issue. “I think I’m the equivalent to what might be a male to you.”
“Aren’t you a little gross jello monster?” Leo accused. “One who slobbered over the stairs, causing me to trip?”
Jason winced. “Sorry. I healed you though.”
“True. I guess you are a bit cool.” Leo had to give Jason credit for that. “Even if you totally jacked up my ankle.”
Embarrassment spread across Jason’s face. “About that, I-”
“Leo!” There was a loud knock on the door. “Get dressed, we’re going out!”
“Okay! ” Leo rolled his eyes, before widening them. “Shit. Where am I going to put you?”
“I don’t know,” Jason shrugged. He sat on the bed.
“Leo! Hurry up!” Leo’s brother called again.
“I’m coming!” Leo turned back to Jason. He hopped around the room, looking for sneakers. “Is there some kind of space babysitter I can call for you?”
“Not that I know of.”
“Sarcasm, Jason.” Leo found a sneaker, only to put it on the wrong foot. He had to sit down to peel it off and put it back on again. Meanwhile, Jason took interest in looking at Leo's messy closet. He picked up a sweater, carefully investigating it like a scientist staring at bacteria under a microscope.
“Leo-”
“I said I’m coming!” Leo resisted the urge to hit the door. He stood up and threw his hands in the air. “Oh my God, just stay here. Don’t leave, okay? You think you can handle that?”
“Yeah.” Jason nodded.
For some reason, Leo doesn’t believe him.
Leo forgot about Jason- he was quick to push it off as a dream, a childish and sick dream- until he came home with McDonald’s.
“Jason?” Leo whispered into the dark of his room. He flickered on the light and gasps. “Holy shit.”
His room was spotless. Leo’s room hadn't been this clean since it was a nursery for him. Leo could actually see the floor.
In the corner, Jason was reading through some of Leo’s neatly stacked comics. His chest glowed a content blue, as Jason breathed in and out.
“Whoa.” Leo put down the bag of fast food. “Did you clean my room?”
“Duh.” Jason didn't look up. “Sorry. Trying to figure out the sarcasm thing.”
“Stop saying sorry.” Leo stared at his bed, which is perfectly made up. It was a miracle. He didn't even know his bed could be more perfect than it already was, but somehow Jason made it better. “How long did this take?”
“A few, er, minutes, I think.” Jason flipped a page. “I think an etunim is equal to around a minute.”
“What the hell is an etunim?”
“A minute. I just said that.”
Leo jumped on his bed. He sunk into it, feeling something mushy underneath. Leo sat up, and peeled back the covers, revealing slimy goo sticking his bed to his sheets. “The fuck.”
Jason dropped the comic and stood up to stretch. “Sorry, I fell asleep. I wanted to be comfortable.”
Leo touched the goo, with the slippery and wet substance warming in his fingers. It felt like homemade slime, except this was no Liquid Glue Craft Project. “This is G-R-O-S-S.”
“That spells gross.”
“I know,” Leo wiped his hand on the sheet with disgust. “You sleep in this? In this giant cocoon of spit?”
“It’s not spit- they’re like, uh, hormones. ” Jason avoided Leo's eyes.
A beat of silence. Leo stared at his hands. He even gave them a little sniff. “Did you come in my bed-”
“No!” Jason’s face turned as red as a stoplight. It was actually red and gave off a strange glow around the room. “Not sexual hormones. It’s like what a mother gives to a baby.”
“I wouldn’t know,” Leo stood up. He still felt like he should burn his bed to ashes. “I don’t have a mom.”
Jason eyebrows furrowed but he didn't say anything.
Leo stretched his fingers out- they were still a bit warm, but not very wet. “Huh. It’s still gross though- if I get you a sleeping bag, can you sleep there? Then you can sleep in your jizz all you want.”
“Jizz?”
“Don’t worry about it, Martian” Leo paused. “Wait, are you okay with me calling you that? Is that racist?”
“I don’t know what that means,” Jason said. “How do you not have a mom?”
“Are you still on this?” Leo sat on the bed. The goo made the bed feel like a waterbed, with the way it swished underneath him. “It’s not even that big of a deal- hey, whoa.”
Leo jerked as Jason grabbed his hands. “You kinda feel stressed. Thought you said it wasn’t a big deal?”
“Stop reading my mind, you weirdo.” Leo didn't pull his hands away though. Jason’s fingers glowed a soft green as they massaged Leo’s hands. Huh. Leo felt waves of calm flood over him with ever knead Jason did. “I don’t know. My mom just left when I was born. She dropped me off at an orphanage and ran. I think she died, ‘cause there was this giant fire and I was covered in soot. It might’ve been my nanny who dropped me off, actually.”
Jason’s eyes closed in concentration. “Are you sure?”
“Uh yeah. My older brother- not Jake, the one who was calling me earlier- told me about it when I was like 7. Just dropped the adoption papers on my bed and explained it.” Leo shrugged. He pulled his hands away and limply rested them in his lap. His body ached for the calming vibes Jason had been sending him. “Why the heck are we even talking about this? We should be getting you home, E.T.”
“That’s the thing,” Jason fell back into the bed, making a squishing sound. He poked Leo’s back. “I figured out why I’m here, because of you.”
“And why’s that?”
Jason gave him a look that Leo can’t describe. It made his skin crawl and want to cry. “I have a sister.”
“Mhm-”
“And she’s here on Earth. And I’m trying to find her.” Jason fiddled with something in his jeans pocket. He pulled out a sort of makeup compartment- except when Jason opened it, there was a bunch of green dots along black. “Before she dies. And you’re going to help me with it.”
“Wait, what?”