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Dazai looks up from his glass, laughter dying on his tongue as his eyes land on the red haired man at the bar counter. Chuuya’s laughing, and Dazai realises that it has been years since he had seen Chuuya so relaxed and carefree. He forgets that Chuuya has a life outside of their morning coffees… he stands up and starts to make his way across the bar.
Oda steps in front of him, one hand in his pocket, another by his side and poised to grab Dazai if need be. He has angled himself so that Chuuya’s blocked from Dazai’s view. Dazai makes to move but ashen blues stay him.
“Walk away,” Oda advises. “Don’t hurt him further.”
“Odasaku… it’s not enough. I see him every day, but I can’t touch him. I can’t hold him.”
“Take a look at your wedding ring.”
“I know I’m married!”
“Then you should know that you’re not just hurting him.”
Dazai shakes his head, his eyes angry and sad. “This isn’t the life I want.”
“It’s the life you chose.”
“Odasaku – ”
“Dazai, walk away.”
*
If Dazai were a better man, he would have walked away and stayed away. But he isn’t and he rejects Oda’s offer to drive him back despite the two glasses of whiskey he had. So the moment he sees Oda’s car disappear around the bend, he drives back to the bar.
He catches Chuuya just as he’s about to leave. The redhead’s slightly tipsy and he’s giggling. Blue eyes widen in surprise and Chuuya bids his colleagues goodbye before they can see Dazai. Once they leave, he turns back to Dazai, lips pressed in a thin line.
“We can’t do this,” Chuuya says.
“I know.”
An anguished expression crosses Chuuya’s face. “Dazai, please, walk away.”
“I can’t,” Dazai chokes out.
Chuuya shakes his head. He brushes past Dazai and stalks out of the bar. Dazai stays still for a moment before he goes after Chuuya. He stops him from crossing the road and pulls him into an alleyway, out of sight.
“Da – ”
Dazai presses his lips against Chuuya’s. He can taste the wine on Chuuya’s tongue but it’s the taste of Chuuya beneath it that intoxicates him. Chuuya grabs the front of his shirt but then he’s fisting it as he pulls Dazai closer to him. They ignore the first drops of rain but it soon becomes too heavy to ignore. Dazai pulls back and gazes into hazy blues.
“We should get out of this rain,” he says.
Chuuya hesitates before he nods. They get into Dazai’s car, and Chuuya glares at Dazai when he brings them to a hotel.
“No. What the fuck, Dazai – ”
Chuuya doesn't manage to finish his sentence as Dazai kisses him again. There aren’t any more protests when they part, just drunken lust and want shining in both their eyes.
*
Dazai hears Chuuya sniffling but he continues pretending to sleep. When the door closes, Dazai sits up and buries his face in his hands.