Chapter Text
Natasha was frankly irritated by this situation. Steve Rogers was a good man, but his goodness was proportional to his righteousness.
She had been his field partner for three months and she already was fed up. Firstly, he was naive, way too naive. He helped people, stopped on missions to greet children and just… didn’t seem to know his stuff.
He could fight, and order, but when it came to espionage, Natasha occasionally had to stop herself from yelling. He didn’t know how to carry himself, how to flirt.
She knew she wasn’t being fair, but it did sting that she had yelled at her for doing her job. She had been given a separate mission, so what?
He had acted as if she had betrayed him, whence hadn’t even done anything wrong. She was being Fury’s agent, doing what he wanted and pleasing the organisation. She was being a good person.
But as she walks home, the bruises from how Rodgers had grabbed her and slammed her behind the wall aching distantly, she sighed.
Two years.
It had been two years since the Avengers. Since the last time she had a hope to dash for freedom.
SHIELD was good. But freedom seemed better. She wanted to go to university, tell people of a wild and outrageous gap year, and get good grades.
She sighed, falling onto her bed. Tomorrow she would get up, be the good agent she was manufactured to be. Tomorrow she would deal with Rogers and deal with how he reminds her of-
The phone rang, her last distant thought evaporating like hot steam.
She blearily reached over for it, expecting the usual death threats, or a dull mission, when her heart sank to the bottom of her stomach.
Fury.
She grabbed a hoodie, and ran, not even stopping to get a cab. Her hair was damp from sweat and rain, but he was still there.
High blood pressure, low pulse, but he was still there.
She compartmentalised the information. Soviet bullet. Untraceable. Near the Artery. Unlikely to survi—
No.
Maria arrived, looking sad, but also… guilty. Natasha compartmentalised that for later. Rogers then came in. Wet hands. No look of shock. He had been the one to call her. Fury had gone to him.
Hmm.
Then, just as she want to turn to Rogers and ask questions… Fury’s heart stops. And so does hers.
If Fury dies… she won’t know what to do. The world will crumble, then burst into flames, and all she will be able to to is to pitifully stare at the rising flames as all she had achieved in the last four years turns into ashes.
The council will kicker out, she will be exiled from the US and then all her past enemies will…
Its safe to say that a world without Fury would not be a good world.
Then, she concentrates, putting everything together. She kisses Fury’s forehead, and ignores how cold how dead it is.
“Why was Fury in your apartment” she demands, but apparently Rogers is acting like a fool.
Maria is acting secretive, informing them of a “vacation”.
Natasha doesn’t show up to work the next day.
SHIELD is mad, but she sees no allegiance to SHIELD anymore, not without Fury or Hill, ( or Coulson).
She tries to go back to the hospital, to clear her mind, and goes to get some chips. The glint of metal with the SHIELD insignia makes her sigh, knowing that this will force her to see a bigger, uglier picture.
She isn’t wrong.
Rogers comes back, in an awful disguise, full righteous Captain America mode on. He slams her into the wall when he sees her, and she feels disgusting as she sees herself fall into an old trick:flirting. She stops herself, and gives Rogers minimal information.
He gives her the news that SHIELD tried to kill him. She doesn’t mention that her SHIELD apartment was raided and trashed during the night.
When they go back to her safe apartment she hides in her bathroom, and takes the mask off. She quickly washes her face, knowing that there is a chance that she may not get to do so for a long time.
She then texts Clint to stay with Laura, and to not leave the house.
She had suspected corruption in SHIELD for a while, and she desperately hopes that she is wrong.
The disguises are … nerdy. But making someone with Steve’s build look un-intimidating is a very hard process.
The glasses may be over exaggerated, but to be honest… he doesn’t look bad in them.
The mall is packed and she frankly decides that she does not enjoy crowds. The guy at the Apple store is friendly, but she doesn’t need friendly, she needs efficient.
New Jersey. Huh.
The fact that it is a remote hidden military base that only Steve seems to know about, reminds her of a plot of a very bad bad horror film.
The fact that Rumlow is after her does not surprise her. He was too talented to be a mere operations officer. He also made multiple passes at her before Hill “convinced” him to stop.
Kissing Steve… its not pleasant. He is kind, and handsome… but he is also biologically seven years older than her.
And that doesn’t count the cryogenic years ( not that she can talk much).
It also makes her uncomfortable that she had to resort to kissing, she doesn’t like using her body as a distraction, as a weapon… as a tool.
In the car she chokes when Steve asks her to be his friend. Friend. She didn’t know how to make friends. Clint had adopted her, so had Maria and Simmons.
And Katrina and James… that had been a different life.
They pull up to New Jersey, her mirthless laugh still on her lips. The dusty area is… wrong.
The dust seems fake, the frown on Steve’s face confirms her suspicions.
Something is wrong.
Something is very very wrong, and not for the first time this past week, Natasha wishes she were just a carefree college student, partying instead of handing in their undergrad essay.