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Once Upon a Trip to the Ralphs

Summary:

Carlos just wants to settle into Night Vale quietly and undisturbed. With the defying of natural laws and a not-so-secret admirer making googly eyes at him from across the isle, it seems the last thing he is going to get is what he wants.

Or

Carlos is feeling overwhelmed by it all and he finally meets Cecil one on one while shopping at Ralphs. Awkwardness ensues, as usual when trying to talk to a crush and when crushes are still being formed.

Notes:

Hiya! Just a little one shot I wanted to do because, why not. I don't see Carlos as falling head over heels that quickly with Cecil. He did just enter a town where the world as he knows it is flipped upside down and exists in several dimensions at once... probably. It happens. Not to mundanes like Carlos usually, though. This is new for him. So, I see him as being a little put off by the sudden infatuation the town's most beloved radio host has for him, but meeting him in person... That could easily shift things up a bit.
My previous works I tried writing in present tense and would love to hear how my more naturally occurring past tense sounds. If you've checked out my other stuff, let me know which you prefer. I'm working on a much longer work and am still trying to decide on which tense I want to do it in.

Work Text:

     Carlos was not eager to see his not-so-secret admirer. It hadn't been long since his last relationship and it hadn't been a good one. He just wanted to calm down, evaluate his life and if he even wanted to continue pursuing love. Right now, with the whole town calling him perfect and beautiful, he felt he wasn't going to have that peace. Then again, Night Vale was turning out to be anything but the sleepy peaceful little desert town he could escape to for a little while and just study little odd phenomena like he pictured when the job prospect was described to him. It was making him question his faith in science. He shuddered at the thought that science could ever be questioned. Sure, practices were questionable and previous theories can be proven wrong, but this was something else. This was everything, the laws of physic and common sense, being brought into question, this was-

     Stop, Carlos. Breathe.

     Carlos pulled out a stick of gum and popped it in before he began sporadically tapping his hand on the handle of his cart. Surely, he was overreacting. There were perfectly logical reasons for glowing clouds (all hail) to drop dead animals on a town, for a five headed dragon to be seen on the edge of town, for a minute of widespread communal existential dread, for some people to have perfectly mobile tails to which no one bats an eye. He just had to discover those reasons. Science always pulled through except in cases of religion. (If only he knew all the other insane happenings heading his way in this town, he may have broke. But, as much as scientists hate ignorance, ignorance truly is bliss. A slow slope, easing him into Night Valian insanity is the only reason he didn’t bolt from this town.)

     Carlos froze, his hand mid tap, noticing the man that was staring at him. The man looked young, a little younger than Carlos himself, he'd dare to say; for what was in his hand. He wasn't really old or young by conventional terms and would probably be considered in the awkward middle age area where people don't know whether you should be having kids or getting grandkids, young but old at the same time... but he was young for what he was holding. This man had a cane. He seemed familiar. His outfit was a hodgepodge of what society would consider bad choices. (It was bad enough for even Carlos to notice.) His hair must be dyed, for the top was light yet his small sideburns and the bottom half of the rest of his hair were dark brown. As long as he didn’t dye it any other way, this man would be easy to remember and spot. Also, his arms and neck seemed to be covered in dark tattoos.

     Carlos shifted nervously. Why was this man staring? Carlos forced himself to continue shopping. A tap on his shoulder made him literally jump, accidentally swallow his gum, and his skin figuratively crawl.

     “Hi, um, hi,” the man smiled, his face figuratively glowing (well, maybe a little literally, it was hard to tell what was a figurative ideal the mind made up to help explain things versus what literally was happening, especially in Night Vale it seemed,) and Carlos recognized that amazing voice instantly, the connection immediately made to his first hard to recall day in Night Vale. He had seen this man at the radio station, after following some odd readings on his modified geiger counter.

     Carlos inwardly groaned. “Uh, hey,” he mumbled, stepping back for personal space. “Don't... Don't do that.”

     The radio host's face dropped. “Sorry, but... Sorry, what did I do?”

     “My shoulder... I don't like random touches from people.”

     “Oh, I am so sorry, Carlos. If I had known I would have never done that. The last thing I want to do is things you don't like. I should introduce myself. My name is Cecil Palmer... You look absolutely stunning today.”

     Carlos blushed, and tried to plan some escape.

     Cecil watched for a second before sighing. “It was nice to finally meet you in person outside of, well, work. That day in the radio station was nice, but watching from a distance at your meetings was, well... I'm glad that we finally have met one on one on a day your eyes aren’t glazed over.”

     Carlos gave a small smile and a nod, trying to appease him. Cecil's eyes dimmed, and Carlos had to take a double take. Did that just happen, or were his eyes always near grey. Cecil limped back over to his cart and placed the cane back in it. He tried to reach for something on the shelf just above his head, but his arm didn't seem to be willing to reach that far.

     “What are you trying to get?” Carlos asked without thinking.

     “Ah, just, nothing,” Cecil gasped, quickly returning his hand to the cart and going to scamper off.

     “It's no big deal. Flake-Os?”

     Cecil gave a small nod.

     Carlos crossed the isle and easily pulled them down. “What's wrong with you?” he asked with absolutely no tact, setting the box in the cart.

     “Oh, just battling lyme disease. Can't believe I found a tick this time of year, I mean, yeah-”

     “Wait, a tick in this climate?” Carlos interrupted. Surely, there were no ticks in a desert this hot and dry and surrounded by not much more than sand and sage.

     “Of course. Sand ticks, big creatures,” he flinched trying to show just how big by spreading his arms. Clearly he was exaggerating, there were no bugs that big, well, no non butterfly/moth bugs that big at least. “Usually they stay buried in their burrows this time of year, but a couple months ago one decided I looked like a tasty treat. I battled it off, but it got a few bites in. Didn't think much of it until a week ago I noticed my joints acting up. I'm still trying to decide what's the worse part, not being able to move right or all the medicine. Not that medicine is bad and all, it's just a huge hassle and if you forget any your doctor may sign you up for reeducation out of spite, so, you know,” he rambled, and Carlos found himself shaking his head. This guy was either really passionate about lyme disease or could talk adamantly about anything. Maybe that's what made him such a great radio host.

     “Now, I usually wouldn't put up with this, but I do need to be able to climb stairs and the neighbors hate being woken up by the 11th stair, so I have to get this taken care of as quickly as possible. I still have 2 more weeks of medicine, though, and, urgh,” he grunted while shifting his weight, “and I'm not sure I'll last that long.”

     Carlos ran a hand through his too long hair. Cecil's eyes stared at the action, holding back a small whimper of longing. Luckily, Carlos didn't catch that. “Do you, uh, think you can handle the rest of shopping on your own?”

     “I'll manage, sweet Carlos. Beautiful and kind, you're just a treasure.~” Carlos was sure this man's eye color had just shifted to lilac, which seemed to match the soft sweet tone his voice just took on.

     Carlos shifted uncomfortably, losing his words. Instead he just awkwardly pointed to his cart and walked over to it. He watched the man hobble along, putting most of his weight on the cart in order to try and save his joints.

     In all honesty, meeting his not-so-secret admirer for the first time outside of an overstimulated haze wasn't all that bad. In fact, his eyes were rather intriguing, and Carlos rarely, if ever, noticed a person's eyes.

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