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The first time it happened they were all on Oa celebrating Hal’s latest resurrection. It had been a tradition since the very first time he had come back. They wasted far too much time on it than anybody had ever meant to, including Hal, who had really expected to stay dead one of these days. Only three people really came anymore.
Kyle had been sitting, drinking a beer and sketching when Hal walked over.
“You know as the greatest green lantern ever, I think I deserve a mural showing all my great and heroic events and we call it: a murhal,” said Hal completely serious. In response Kyle snorted. “No I’m serious. Listen, we sit down, I talk about my past exploits, you draw them, maybe we even send a picture to Batman.”
“Wow. It’s like you want to die. Again,” said Kyle.
“Please we all know that that dick doesn’t kill,” said Hal.
“I’m sure he’ll make an exception for you,” said Kyle.
“Come on Kyle. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please?” asked Hal.
“Go away,” said Kyle a lot nicer than he should have. And no one brought it up for a while.
The next time it was Guy.
“So yeah and then you get extra details on my extra large-”
“NO!”
"You don’t know what I was gonna to say.”
The next next time was Hal again. Hal was being super annoying which is to say Hal was breathing. He was talking about space propaganda and he had dragged poor John with him.
“So I’m thinking it’s like the I want you to join the army posters, but it’s John as Uncle Sam and it’s the corps,” said Hal. John and Kyle exchanged a look that clearly said white people.
“I can’t. I’m busy,” said Kyle, lying.
“It’s a good idea,”said Hal. It wasn’t.
“I’m sorry Kyle,” said John and he dragged Hal away. And Kyle had peace for just a while.
The second to last time was Jessica. They were talking about how much they missed home when Jessica said, “I really miss my cat. I really miss my Pokémon. I miss their cute faces.”
“That’s terrible,” said Kyle, who being the nerd that he is, knew the exact feeling.
“What if you drew my cat?” said Jess excitedly.
“No,” said Kyle. Apparently nowhere was safe.
“Please?” asked Jess.
“I can’t I’m sorry,” said Kyle.
“Draw the cat,” said Simon Baz who just walked in. Simon wasn’t around much. It was almost like the being shaping the universe didn’t know much about him and chose to keep him out of the way instead of making him do something out of character. Simon left.
“I can’t Jessica. If the others found out they would make me draw something for them. I can’t draw Guy, I just can’t," he said. He is really couldn’t.
“ Fine,” said Jessica, but she was hiding a pout.And he forgot for a while.
The last time was his birthday. The had all given him individual presents, even Simon. He thought that he opened all his presents when Hal ran to get the “extra special secret present”.
They were all smirking. This had never been good in the history anytime ever. “Well we all pitched in and got you this,” said Guy as Hal ran up. He proudly displayed what it was: a caricature of all of them. It was obviously drawn by a professional because it was good and none of them could draw. He was surprised that he actually, genuinely liked it. Caricature Hal was in a trashcan.
It was beautiful.
“Wow I love it,” said Kyle.
“Do you really?” asked Jessica.
K“Yes it's… beautiful. I’m going to frame it,” said Kyle. And he did.