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Magnus doesn’t expect Maryse to show up on his doorstep, at least not unannounced. He doesn’t show it though, just lets her in and offers her a drink and ushers her to the couch. She’s carrying a small black case with her, held protectively to her side.
“Alec isn’t here,” he says. “He won’t be back for a few hours yet.”
“I know,” Maryse says. She rubs her hands down her thighs, a gesture he has seen from Alec more than once, a nervous one. “I wanted to speak to you, actually, Magnus.”
Magnus nods and smiles, “Of course, Maryse.” He makes an inviting gesture toward his drink cart. “Would you like that drink? It looks like you could use it.”
She makes a sharp sudden sound that is almost a laugh, “Yes. I think I could.”
Magnus makes it a little weaker than he might have otherwise and brings it over. “What can I do for you, Maryse?”
Maryse takes the glass, downs it in one go, and rolls it slightly between her fingers, her expression distant and pensive. Then something like resolve settles over her features, but there’s something sad in it that makes Magnus reach out and place a hand on her arm. She looks surprised by the gesture, but smiles slightly, fondly.
“I’ve heard that it’s part of my duty as Alec’s mother to embarrass him by showing you his baby pictures,” she says, all in one breath and presses on before Magnus can say anything, “But I realized…I realized that I don’t actually have any.” She looks down, a sad smile curving her lips, “I just have this.”
She lifts the case she holds and pulls out a single, framed photo. It’s shows a much younger Maryse, dressed practically, for fighting, her runes stark on her skin, a sheathed seraph blade on one hip. On the other, she holds a small toddler, his dark hair messy, the same big hazel eyes staring at his mother like he’s not quite sure what to make of his situation, completely ignoring the camera the way children sometimes do.
Magnus smiles anyway, charmed by this glimpse of his boyfriend, this sweet faced child more interested in holding onto his mother’s hair than posing for a photo.
“Robert could not get him to look at the camera, not matter what he tried,” Maryse says and her voice shakes a little. “After this, things were… I lost sight of things, let’s say,” her voice gets halting, and Magnus gives her arm a squeeze in reassurance. She looks up and gives him another little smile. “I let myself get caught up in the fighting and forgot what I was fighting for.” She pushes the frame into Magnus’s hands. “I want you to have this.”
Magnus blinks at her, “Maryse, no. I can’t. This is yours…”
“When it’s done,” she interrupts, her voice steady now, “After I’ve been deruned, I won’t be able to take anything with me. I would give this to Alec but…I won’t make this any harder for him. He doesn’t deserve that. So please…” she makes Magnus hold onto the frame by curling her fingers over his. “Please keep this. And one day, when he’s ready, show it to Alec? I want him to always know that I…” She stops, clenches her jaw and lets out a sharp sigh through her nose, “I love him. Even when I didn’t show it like I should have. He is my baby boy and I love him and his siblings more than anything.”
Magnus places the photo carefully in his lap, “Maryse,” he says gently. “I know how the Clave feels about exiled Shadowhunters. I know it’s difficult. But I’m not a Shadowhunter. If you ever need anything, I will be here. And Alec… You know Alec will want to see you.”
Maryse shakes her head, “No. I won’t risk him. Maybe someday… But not right now.” She nods firmly and puts on a brave smile. “I’ll be alright. I feel better, knowing Alec has you to look after him. So please, do me this favor, even though I have no right to ask it, and keep this memory for Alec. For when he needs it.”
“Of course, Maryse,” Magnus replies, and is taken aback a little when she hugs him once again, this time brief and forceful.
“I’m sorry,” Maryse says lowly, “I know it doesn’t mean much now, but I am sorry for how I treated you, Magnus. I need you to know that.”
Magnus gives a little sigh and nods, “It’s in the past,” he says.
She takes a deep breath and rises, smoothing her dress and rolling her shoulders back, “Thank you, Magnus. Thank you for being a better person than I could ever be.” Before Magnus can say anything, once again she’s speaking, “I should go.”
Magnus senses she doesn’t have any conversation left in her, so he walks her out without another word on the subject, just a smile and a few gentle words of parting. One apology won’t bridge the gap between them. One thank you won’t erase the years of violence. But love, the love Maryse has for her son, the love Magnus bares for the man who is his whole heart, that might be enough to let them see each other a little more clearly.