Archive of Our Own

‘’Am I glad to see you.’’

Aaron pulled himself up on the monstrously large bed when he heard the door of their hotel room open, propping himself against the headboard just as Robert appeared, looking tired. He’d been at a conference in the ballroom of their hotel all day, so Aaron had entertained himself, checking in on Seb, chatting with his mum and making the most of the gym before plonking himself on the bed with a beer, which is where he remained until Robert came back.

‘’Long day?’’

‘’The longest.’’ Robert confirmed as he toed off his shoes and clambered onto the bed beside his husband, pressing a soft kiss to his lips as he cuddled up beside him and took a sip of his drink. ‘’But I’m all yours now.’’

‘’I thought you said there was some drinks thing happening in the bar?’’

‘’I blew it off, said I needed to check in on Seb and make sure he was okay without us.’’

‘’You’re shameless, you know that?’’

‘’What?’’

‘’Using your son as an excuse to get out of networking, when you know perfectly well he’s having a great time with Vic.’’

‘’Like you wouldn’t do the same?’’

‘’Fair point.’’ Aaron conceded with a laugh. ‘’So, what now?’’

‘’Well, work’s all done, so for the next two days, it’s just you, me and London.’’ Robert smiled as he kissed Aaron again. ‘’Anything in particular you want to do while we’re here?’’

‘’Nah, don’t think so, although…’’

‘’Yea?’’

‘’I’d quite like to see where you used to hang out, you did live here long enough.’’

Robert stiffened, and Aaron immediately regretted suggesting it.

‘’Or not…just figured you know the city a lot better than I do, but we can go wherever.’’ He offered softly as he rubbed Robert’s arm.

Robert seemed to glaze over for a moment, but then he shook himself out of his stupor and smiled.

‘’No…no you’re right. I’d like to show you around.’’

‘’Really?’’

‘’Yea, course.’’

‘’Wherever you want.’’ Aaron replied, trying to stress the double meaning in his words, and Robert seemed to pick up on it, if the softness in his eyes was any indication.

‘’I’m sure I can think of something.’’ Robert replied, his flirty nature returning as he leaned over and pushed Aaron further into the sprawling bed, ‘’but for tonight, I’ve got plans that involve going nowhere.’’

‘’Sounds good to me.’’ Aaron smiled, wrapping his arms around his husband as they sank into the mattress together.

Aaron stretched out his arms haphazardly as he blinked himself into consciousness, yawning sleepily as he opened his eyes. He couldn’t help the pout that formed when he looked around and found Robert perched on the edge of the bed, fully dressed and smiling broadly at him.

‘’C’mon sleepyhead, thought you wanted the tour?’’

‘’Did anyone ever tell you how annoying your perkiness is in the morning?’’ Aaron groaned as he shuffled under the duvet.

‘’You, every morning without fail,’’ Robert replied with a smirk. ‘’You planning on getting up then?’’

‘’Fine.’’ Aaron grumbled, ‘’but not until I get my wake up call.’’

Robert let out a glorious laugh as he leaned down and pressed a searing kiss to Aaron’s lips, grazing his beard affectionately as their noses rubbed together.

An hour later, after Aaron had subtly relieved Robert of his clothes – not that he had complained – they were both showered and dressed, satisfied smiles on both of their faces.

‘’So what tube do we need to get?’’ Aaron asked as Robert checked his pockets for his wallet and phone.

‘’Tube?’’ Robert repeated.

‘’Yea, you know? Kinda like trains, but run underground and ferry people from one side of London to another.’’ Aaron answered dryly.

‘’Yes, thank you Aaron.’’ Robert fired back. ‘’But you wanted me to give you a tour, and the only way to do that is on foot.’’

‘’Seriously?’’

‘’Well as you so astutely pointed out,’’ Robert smirked, ‘’tubes run underground, what do you think you’ll see? Only way to really experience London, at least how I saw it, is to walk around.’’

‘’You’re the boss.’’

‘’And don’t you forget it,’’ Robert chuckled, giving Aaron a slap on the arse as they headed out the door.

Twenty minutes later, coffees and bacon sandwiches in hand, as they’d missed the hotel breakfast during their wake up call, they were strolling along the river, Robert pointing out various buildings, cafes and other random places, filling Aaron’s head with anecdotes about drunken escapades or protests he had inadvertently got caught up in occasionally on his way home.

‘’And that’s the MI6 building,’’ Robert said, pointing to an imposing structure looming towards them as they ambled over a busy bridge.

‘’Looks pretty good considering it was blown up in that Bond film we watched.’’ Aaron laughed. ‘’Though…’’

‘’What?’’

‘’Doesn’t look as secure as I’d have imagined, up close. Seems like anyone could get in, wonder if anyone has tried, might be easy?’’

‘’Let’s not test that theory today though yea?’’ Robert suggested.

‘’I’m right though.’’ Aaron argued lightly.

‘’You are to be fair. It probably doesn’t help that there’s a duck tour business right next to it. Hardly screams high security government agency does it?’’ He asked as he pointed to where two amphibious yellow vehicles were currently being loaded with tourists. ‘’Just imagine all those Russian spies trying to scope out the place on a massive yellow bird surrounded by children all hopped up on sugar.’’ Robert laughed.

Aaron rolled his eyes, but for a split second he wondered if his husband could be onto something when he caught sight of a guy dressed in the most uncoordinated outfit he’d ever seen, throwing the kids around him murderous looks from underneath his I Love London snapback as he continually glanced at the massive building.

‘’So where next?’’

They’d sat on a wall; both kicking their legs out as they finished their drinks and watched boats sail past for a few minutes. Robert had gone a little quiet, lost in his memories as he thumbed Aaron’s fingers softly and gazed at the water. Aaron hadn’t wanted to interrupt his thoughts, but his curiosity was beginning to itch, and he wanted to explore more of Robert’s London.

‘’Rob?’’

Robert tore his gaze away from two birds fighting over something in the shallow water, and a soft smile filled his face when he looked at Aaron.

‘’Yea?’’

‘’I’m just asking where you want to go next?’’

‘’Oh, right yea.’’

‘’We can go get another coffee, or a beer? Do all the touristy crap you love if ya want?’’ Aaron suggested softly, not sure if his husband still wanted to show him the sights he knew.

Robert looked around, chewing on his lip, and suddenly he was off the wall, extending his hand to Aaron, who took it hesitantly and clambered down. ‘’No, if you want the full tour, we should do this properly.’’

‘’What does that mean?’’

‘’Just follow me.’’

‘’Where are we now exactly?’’

Robert had led his husband down a few narrow streets, each one taking them further away from civilisation, and they found themselves in some kind of cul de sac, if that was even the best word for it. Aaron looked around curiously at the row of houses; each one more dilapidated than the last. A couple of them had broken windows, and each one was missing chunks of plaster. One even had bars on the windows, and Aaron didn’t want to think about the reasons behind it. He glanced over at Robert, who was looking at the place with an almost haunted expression, and he knew in that instant where they were before Robert even said it.

‘’My old home.’’

Robert led Aaron down a tiny alleyway between two of the houses, squeezing them both past a rusty gate, where they found themselves at the back door to one of the houses. Aaron watched with confusion as Robert dropped his hand and rummaged under a stone fox on the step, turning it upside down and pulling at a catch in the bottom of the statue, making a noise of triumph before turning around and brandishing a key at his husband.

‘’Some things never change.’’ Robert smiled with a reminiscent look in his eyes.

‘’Robert, what – ‘’

‘’Come on.’’ Robert said, turning the key slowly and gently pulling the door open before gesturing for Aaron to go in.

‘’This is breaking and entering.’’ Aaron whispered as he nevertheless took a step into the darkened hallway.

‘’Not if you have the key.’’ Robert countered. ‘’Up the stairs, door to the right.’’

Aaron carefully climbed the stairs, choking back a cough when he stepped on a particularly dirty one and a cloud of dust rose up. He climbed as quietly as he could, feeling slightly uneasy when he realised that anyone could be in here.

‘’It’s been abandoned for years.’’ Robert whispered, reading his mind. ‘’Nobody will know we’re here.’’

Robert gently moved Aaron out of the way at the top of the stairs, putting the very same key – which Aaron realised was the Master – into the lock, pulling the handle up slightly as he did, and smiling with triumph when he heard the click of the lock opening. Pushing the door open slowly, he walked into the middle of a room and opened his arms for Aaron to walk through.

‘’Welcome to my humble abode.’’

Aaron had to fight with everything he had to stop the gasp escaping his lips as he took in the sight before him. He was standing in the middle of a poky bedsit, a tiny single bed in one corner taking up the entire space between the walls that made up the length of the flat. The carpet, like the one outside the flat, was covered in a layer of dust, and a tiny sink and oven made up the kitchen in the opposite side. Out of the corner of his eye, Aaron could see the bathroom, which consisted of a toilet, sink and shower, all wedged together in a tiny space with no room to move between them. Having been in Victoria’s box room when he and Robert made a go of their relationship the first time, he realised that he was being unfair when he called that room a matchbox; this was barely the size of a match.

‘’Robert – ‘’Aaron began, his voice cracking as the tears began to well in his eyes.

‘’I know right? Why have Home Farm or the Mill when you could have this?’’ He asked with a hollow laugh. ‘’It doesn’t look like much of anything I know, but it was home for a little while at least.’’

‘’How…how did you end up here?’’ Aaron asked, suddenly afraid to hear the answer. They had never really spoken about his life between leaving Emmerdale and meeting Chrissie, Robert always fobbing it off as the usual London story that thousands of other people told; a minimum wage job and a crappy room miles away from anything central, but Aaron had never quite pictured it like this, and his heart broke at the strength his husband must have had to come back to this every night and call it home.

‘’You want to know?’’ Robert asked, and the surprise in his voice cut Aaron in half, his husband seeming so small and innocent all of a sudden, and that’s when it hit him; being here in this flat was a reminder of all the times nobody had cared to ask about him. He had only had himself, and he had nobody to hear his story for so long that he had forgotten what it felt like.

‘’Only if you want to tell me.’’ Aaron replied softly.

‘’Ok, well…’’ Robert began, running his hand over the disused oven as he replayed the memories. ‘’When dad kicked me out I didn’t have anywhere to go, and I figured London was as good a place as any to start over. I had this bright idea that I’d make it here and then come back and show him and Andy that I didn’t need them.’’

‘’Did you know anyone?’’

‘’Not a soul.’’ Robert admitted. ‘’Slept in my car for the first few weeks, trying to keep the money I had and make it last.’’

‘’But you ran out?’’

‘’Ended up selling the car, got quite a bit for it actually. And I got this job as a promotions guy in Leicester square, putting the charm to good use as per usual.’’

‘’Well you always had a golden tongue.’’ Aaron agreed, and they both laughed at the double meaning in his words.

‘’Anyway, I ended up staying with this guy who worked for the same company but then I did what I usually do and stuffed it up.’’

‘’How?’’

‘’How else? I slept with his girlfriend.’’ Robert admitted with a shrug. ‘’Got a black eye and a kick to the curb for my troubles.’’

‘’Rob…’’

‘’I know, some things never change.’’ Robert said regretfully. ‘’Anyway, stayed in a hostel for a few nights, and then found this place. The guy who owned it charged me peanuts; couldn’t find anyone else, but I can’t for the life of me figure out why.’’ He finished with laugh, and Aaron felt an overwhelming urge to hug his husband, but he stayed where he was, afraid Robert would close up if he stopped him talking.

‘’So how long were you here?’’

‘’Just under three years, then I met the Whites and you know what happens next. Believe it or not, this place was worse than it looks now.’’

How? Aaron wanted to ask as he risked another look around at the peeling walls and grimy oven, but he didn’t want to know the answer. Robert read his mind though.

‘’Didn’t have a duvet for the first two weeks,’’ Robert explained, ‘’covered myself in my hoodies until I found a cheap one in a charity shop. And this was me,’’ he added, running his finger over some crooked stencilling on the walls, ‘’wanted to hide the mould, try and make it look a bit nicer.’’

‘’Robert, I don’t know what to say.’’ Aaron whispered, his heart full with admiration and love and just an urge to keep his husband safe.

‘’You don’t have to say anything. I know it’s horrendous, but for a little while, it was all mine.’’ Robert replied, a sad, soft smile on his face as he hovered by the bed.

A silence descended between them as Aaron tried to take in all this new information, and he wanted to go back to Emmerdale and yell at everyone who had been around when Robert had been sent away, chastise them for not looking for him and rescuing him, but the only people who really needed that conversation weren’t around to hear it anymore.

‘’Can’t imagine you cooking all your fancy pasta on that stove.’’ Aaron said lightly, nodding at the oven in the corner.

‘’I think you’ll find this is where I became the chef I am today.’’ Robert smirked.

‘’Sod off.’’

‘’No it’s true. Yea, the oven’s crap and I didn’t have much money, so I had to get inventive with cooking and ingredients. So next time you’re rubbing your belly all contently because I’ve served you a feast, it’s because of the Michelin star skills I developed in this kitchen.’’ Robert laughed, and Aaron wanted to join in, but the crushing sadness in his chest threatened to overwhelm him as he thought of Robert trying to make a decent meal in this pokey kitchen with nobody else to eat it with him.

Another silence fell, this time even heavier than the last, and Aaron tried desperately to say something to help, but his mind was racing too much.

‘’You know I told you about my first time…with a guy?’’ Robert suddenly said, breaking the silence and tearing Aaron away from his dark thoughts.

‘’That Mark guy, yea?’’ Aaron asked, the name coming to him after a moment, a fleeting memory of Robert telling him the story of his one night stand with some guy he met at a gig in some dodgy pub not long after he'd come to London.

‘’Yea.’’ Robert confirmed. ‘’It was here.’’

Aaron took another look at the bed in the corner, barely big enough for one person, let alone two, and he had to fight back the lump in his throat. He never thought he was a very sentimental person, but the idea that the man he loved, the man who had battled for so long with his sexuality, had experienced such a massive moment with a guy in such a grotty setting made his heart break.

‘’I don’t – ‘’ Aaron trailed off.

‘’Hardly the most romantic place I know, but all these…feelings…I just couldn’t keep them in any more. I needed to know what it was like, even if it was pretty bad.’’

‘’Your first time shouldn’t have been like that Rob.’’ Aaron said softly as he watched his husband run his finger over the bed thoughtfully.

‘’Could have been worse.’’ Robert shrugged.

‘’Was he…nice?’’ Aaron asked hesitantly. They had shared first time stories one night in bed years earlier, and Robert had been his usual nonchalant self when he described the experience, but seeing the place where it happened just stirred feelings of sadness for the past and love for his husband in Aaron, as he considered how it must have felt for him.

‘’Well he wasn’t hearts and flowers if that’s what you mean. But yea, he was nice I guess, as nice as a one night stand who’s bad at sex can be.’’

‘’Did you ever see him again?’’

‘’No, but it was worth it I guess, in the sense that it confirmed I wanted guys and girls. Didn’t stop me being terrified when it happened though.’’ Robert admitted.

‘’Robert – ‘’

‘’I mean, not as terrified as I was the first time I slept with you,’’ Robert continued, lost in his memories, ‘’but still…’’

‘’You were…scared the first time…with me?’’ Aaron asked, wide-eyed, and it was only when his voice cracked that Robert seemed to return to the present, and he was by Aaron’s side in an instant.

‘’Well yea,’’ he admitted, stroking Aaron’s arm reassuringly, ‘’but only because I was terrified how much you were already in my head. Didn’t think it was possible to feel so much for someone so quickly.’’

‘’I know the feeling.’’ Aaron whispered, giving his hand a gentle squeeze as they stood in silence for a moment.

‘’Anyway,’’ Robert cleared his throat, ‘’we should probably get out of here, this place could be a crack den now for all we know.’’ He finished with a small laugh.

‘’Robert, wait,’’ Aaron said, pulling his husband closer to him before pressing a kiss to his lips and resting their foreheads together as an idea came to him. ‘’I don’t want all your memories of this place to be bad, or…’’

‘’They’re not all bad,’’ Robert admitted.

‘’That could be true, but you still deserve at least one really good one.’’

‘’Aaron?’’ Robert whispered, pulling away to look at his husband curiously.

‘’Let me take care of you, the way you should have been back then.’’ Aaron murmured in his husband’s ear, kissing him softly, trying to pour as much love as he could into the embrace as he slowly pushed Robert’s leather jacket off his shoulders and onto the dusty carpet. Slowly, he unbuttoned his husband’s shirt, leaving it to join his jacket on the floor before unbuckling his belt and gently tugging his jeans until they were left, along with his boxers, in a puddle on the floor.

Aaron could feel Robert’s intense and awe-struck gaze on him as he quickly undressed himself before taking him by the hand and gently guiding him onto the creaky mattress. As he pressed soft, lingering kisses all along his husband’s chest, paying special attention to his bullet scar and his nipples, he suddenly felt incredibly nervous, and determined to make the experience special. Aaron returned his lips to Robert’s, running his hands through his hair before peppering soft kisses along his jaw.

‘’I love you Robert.’’ He whispered into his skin.

‘’I love you.’’ He heard in response as he made his way back down Robert’s body, kissing his hips as he worked him slowly open. He gently pulled his husband’s legs up and around his waist before sinking in, listening closely for the groan of pleasure that told him Robert was ready for him to move. It came almost instantly, and Aaron pushed back and forth, building up a steady rhythm that had Robert moaning intensely beneath him until they both came within seconds of each other.

‘’Well that was unexpected.’’ Robert grinned happily as they lay wrapped together, sweaty and sex sated.

‘’I just wanted you to experience something…nice here.’’ Aaron whispered.

‘’It was more than nice Aaron.’’

‘’Yea?’’

‘’It was everything.’’ Robert said softly, and Aaron’s heart pounded as he took in the sight of his husband looking so content. ‘’I could return the favour, if you’re up for it?’’ He asked cheekily.

‘’Well if ya must.’’ Aaron chuckled, and Robert clambered onto his knees, flipping Aaron over, but before they could go any further, an ominous crack sounded between them and they suddenly found themselves sliding to the floor as the two legs on the left hand side of the bed gave out.

After a momentary shock, Robert burst into peals of glorious sounding laughter, and Aaron couldn’t help but join in, the two of them in fits of giggles as they lay naked on the floor of Robert’s dingy bedsit.

‘’Think maybe your turn can wait for tonight?’’ Robert suggested.

‘’Yea, let’s keep London’s health and safety officers happy.’’ Aaron agreed, and with a sigh, they both pulled each other up and got dressed. As they made their way out of the building, Aaron didn’t miss the look of contemplation on his husband’s face as he put the key back in its hidey hole, and he rubbed his back reassuringly, giving him a small smile before leading him back down the path and onto the main street.

‘’So what’s this place then?’’ Aaron asked as he looked up at the neon sign hanging above a exposed brick pub, nestled somewhere near Leicester Square, though Aaron hadn’t really any idea where exactly they were.

‘’Well, you saw where I lived…’’

‘’So?’’

‘’Now you see where I used to work.’’

Robert held the door open for Aaron to go in, and he scanned the interior closely as he took in his surroundings. There was rock paraphernalia all over the walls, along with more neon signs and some American road signs dotted around the place, while punters supped pints in massive tankers like the ones his uncle Zak had on reserve in the Woolpack. It had a weird, road trip movie vibe to it, but the clientele seemed quite young and hipster like, which Aaron would never have guessed from looking at the bar from the outside.

‘’Bit of a dive this,’’ Aaron commented moments later when Robert sat down with their drinks and two menus. ‘’Couldn’t picture you in here.’’

‘’It was a job, and the staff were good mates.’’ Robert shrugged.

‘’Has it changed at all?’’

‘’New sign out front, but apart from that, it’s still the same.’’ Robert replied, opening his menu, and Aaron caught the curious look on his face.

‘’What?’’

‘’These doodles, they were mine,’’ he explained, showing Aaron some nondescript scribbling. ‘’Used to do them when it was quiet and I was bored, kept getting told off for it.’’

‘’I can see why, leave the drawing to Liv mate.’’ Aaron laughed as he opened his own menu just as a waitress approached from behind Robert.

‘’Alright lads, what can I get ya?’’

Aaron felt, rather than saw, Robert’s head snap up in shock, staring intently at the waitress by their table as if he’d seen a ghost.

‘’Jen?’’

Aaron followed his husband’s gaze towards the blonde woman, slightly older than Robert, who was matching his baffled stare, her pen poised in her hand. A heavy silence fell between them all for what seemed like ages, but was probably only a second or two before it was broken with –

‘’Jesus Christ.’’

‘’It’s Robert, actually.’’

‘’Well someone hasn’t lost their sharp tongue.’’ The waitress replied with a wink as she pulled Robert up and into a crushing hug. ‘’The prodigal son returns.’’

‘’Long time eh?’’

‘’Too long.’’ Aaron could only watch in absolute confusion as Robert took a punch to the arm. ‘’That’s for never coming to visit.’’ Jen fumed, but her eyes were twinkling, before she finally registered Aaron’s presence.

‘’Oh, sorry Jen, this is my husband Aaron.’’ Robert explained.

‘’Husband?’’ Jen repeated with a raised eyebrow, and Aaron’s hackles raised instantly, ready to defend both of them. However, just as instantly, her curious look was replaced with a beaming smile as she extended a hand for him to shake. ‘’Well it’s a pleasure to meet you Aaron.’’

‘’Eh…same.’’ Aaron muttered hesitantly as he shook her hand.

‘’Robert Sugden, I can’t believe you’re here.’’

‘’And I can’t believe you’re still working in this dive Jen.’’ Robert laughed.

‘’Eh, I’ll have you know it’s my dive now Sugden,’’ Jen retorted, swiping Robert on the arm playfully.

‘’Terry sold it to you?’’

‘’Moved to Spain with the wife, gave me mates rates and everything.’’ Jen explained.

‘’Spain? Didn’t think Cathy was a sun worshipper?’’

‘’Nah babe, Cathy’s long gone. This is wife number six, Arabella.’’ Jen said with a roll of her eyes.

‘’Where did he meet this one, speed dating?’’

‘’Singles cruise.’’

‘’Why am I not surprised?’’ Robert laughed, and Aaron felt a flutter of happiness pass through him when he saw the sparkle in his husband’s eyes.

‘’So…what brings you here?’’

‘’Had a work trip, brought this one along and decided to give him a tour of my old haunts.’’ Robert explained, smiling softly at Aaron.

‘’Well you are not going anywhere for a while.’’ Jen decided. ‘’Let me get your food going and I’ll be back. What do you want? On the house.’’

Aaron watched as she disappeared into the kitchen, only tearing his gaze away when he felt Robert’s hand on his own.

‘’We were only ever mates Aaron.’’ Robert said, no anger in his voice, just happy to explain.

‘’Sorry…I was just…’’

‘’What?’’

‘’Didn’t know if there was some reason you never kept in touch.’’

‘’Chrissie didn’t like how close we were. After I left and went to work for Lawrence, I’d come back a lot to visit Jen. She was like a sister to me, but Chrissie got jealous. Think that’s part of the reason I started cheating on her, didn’t like being told I couldn’t be friends with someone, so I lashed out, which I know is stupid.’’

‘’It’s not…’’ Robert raised and eyebrow and Aaron conceded. ‘’Okay, it’s a little ridiculous, but I kinda get it in a weird way.’’

‘’I told her the truth about Chrissie though, and she didn’t resent me for it.’’

‘’That’s understanding of her.’’

‘’She’s a good person, and a good mate.’’ Robert said, and his eyes darkened slightly with sadness, memories clearly flooding back to him, and Aaron wanted to reach over and hug him, but Jen reappeared with fresh drinks before he could, so he settled for giving his knee a comforting squeeze.

‘’You kept the tatty menus I see.’’ Robert said as soon as Jen sat down.

‘’There not tatty, they’re vintage.’’ Jen argued back with a sparkle in her eye.

‘’That’s what he says about all his elbow patch shirts.’’ Aaron chimed in with a laugh.

‘’He still wears them?’’

‘’Takes up half the wardrobe.’’

‘’How have you not destroyed them all?’’

‘’I’ve tried,’’ Aaron chuckled, ignoring Robert’s glare. ‘’But it’s like that thing with grey hairs…’’

‘’What?’’

‘’If you pluck one, five more come back in its place.’’ Aaron laughed, and Jen joined in as Robert pouted in the corner.

‘’I thought the husband and the friend were supposed to hate each other and fight over who’s the favourite, not gang up on me.’’ Robert grumbled as he sipped his pint with a huff.

‘’Awh, are you jealous babe?’’ Jen asked, ruffling Robert’s hair.

‘’So how long did you two work together then?’’ Aaron asked as they drank their pints.

‘’Oh, well that’s a story in itself.’’ Jen laughed.

‘’I’d love to hear it.’’

‘’So here’s how this one wheedled his way in. We’re doing a pretty good trade here yea? Very central, great spot to catch people just coming out of a musical or before they go in. Then one day this smug, gangly arse with a few freckles and a terrible hair cut appears out of nowhere – ‘’

‘’Hey, my hair wasn’t that bad.’’ Robert interjected with a sulk.

‘’It was a mullet babe, and fit as you are, even you can’t pull that off.’’ Robert shrugged, slumping his shoulders in mock defeat as he settled back in his chair and allowed Jen to continue.

‘’So anyway, there he is, setting up camp outside with his drinks promotion vouchers and half-price entry, charming every girl within a fifty foot radius and sending them to some poxy cocktail bar the next street over.’’

‘’So how’d he end up in here then?’’

‘’He was stealing all our business wasn’t he?’’ Jen pretended to fume, ‘’so I said to Terry that we needed to get him our side of the bar before he closed us down. He made us work for it, but it was worth it in the end.’’

‘’Sounds like me.’’ Robert chuckled.

‘’Then Lawrence White came and this one had to show off his farm knowledge, and the band broke up.’’

‘’This place does not seem like Lawrence’s scene.’’ Aaron mused, looking around.

‘’Yea, some potential buyer brought him in here, you should have seen the look on his face.’’ Robert laughed at the memory.

‘’You know Lawrence?’’ Jen asked Aaron, and the two men shared a look.

‘’Knew.’’ Aaron said, ‘’he died in a car crash, and so did Chrissie.’’

‘’Oh, god I’m sorry.’’ Jen apologised, blushing slightly.

‘’You weren’t to know.’’ Aaron replied kindly.

‘’Okay, well change of subject then. How did you two meet?’’

Aaron and Robert shared another look, which didn’t go unnoticed.

‘’This is a story, I can tell.’’ She smiled gleefully, digging into her food, which had just arrived.

Aaron watched in raptures as Robert recounted the gist of the story, including the affair, which earned him another punch in the arm, but leaving out Katie, Gordon and prison. Jen’s eyes lit up when he mentioned Seb and Liv, even if he did give a watered down version of their arrival into their lives. By the time he finished, Jen looked on the brink of tears and Aaron himself felt like welling up as he relieved all their memories again.

‘’You’ve made him a right soppy git Aaron.’’ Jen chuckled, seeing the look of adoration on her old friend’s face as he rubbed Aaron’s hand affectionately.

‘’He has that effect on people.’’ Robert added without missing a beat, smiling at Aaron for a second before excusing himself to go to the bathroom, leaving them both to smile awkwardly at each other before Aaron took another sip of his pint, eager for something to do with his hands.

‘’It’s really good to see him.’’ Jen said thoughtfully after a moment’s silence.

‘’He’s glad to see you too, I can tell.’’ Aaron added.

‘’I didn’t realise how much I missed him until I saw him.’’ Jen admitted, her eyes glassy. ‘’He always looked out for me, even though he liked to be a bit of a prat about it.’’

‘’Don’t worry, he hasn’t changed all that much.’’

‘’Yes, he has.’’

‘’I don’t – ‘’

‘’I don’t think I’ve ever seen him look so happy.’’ Jen explained.

‘’You think he looks happy?’’

‘’Without a doubt. And I’m guessing a lot of that is down to you.’’

‘’Nah, well…maybe, I don’t know– ‘’

‘’Don’t sell yourself short babe, he can be himself with you, that much is obvious.’’

‘’I’m sorry, I’m not following– ‘’

‘’I always knew, ya know?’’ Jen interjected. ‘’About him being bi? Never brought it up, I didn’t want to make it a big deal because it’s not is it? It’s just love at the end of the day. I always tried to let him know it was okay though, without actually saying it. Don’t think he realised what I was trying to say, or maybe he didn’t want to realise.’’

‘’Yea, maybe…’’ Aaron nodded, not feeling particularly comfortable about discussing Robert’s struggle without him present, which to her credit Jen picked up on.

‘’Anyway, all I’m saying is; it’s obvious you make him really happy, and he feels safe with you. He deserves that.’’ She finished softly.

‘’Yea, he does.’’ Aaron agreed softly as he watched Robert return.

‘’We should probably be getting back to the hotel, it’s been a long day.’’ Robert explained, grabbing his jacket from the chair.

‘’Oh yea, didn’t realise the time.’’ Jen agreed. ‘’I know London’s a bit of a trek, but you’ll come back won’t you?’’

‘’Guess I’ll have to now you know I’m still alive.’’ Robert joked. ‘’It’s been good to see you.’’

‘’You too my love. And you look really well Robert. He was a right scrawny thing when we first met.’’ Jen said, turning to Aaron. ‘’You’d swear he never ate.’’

Aaron saw a flash of something in Robert’s eyes, and having seen the flat he called a home earlier in the day, felt his heart clench with pain at the thought that Jen may not have been far from the truth with her comment.

‘’It was nice to meet you.’’ Aaron said, allowing himself to be embraced in a crushing hug.

‘’You too Aaron, you look after him okay?’’

‘’I’ll try my best.’’

‘’Bye Rob,’’ she said softly as she hugged him tightly. ‘’You look after him too,’’ Aaron heard her whisper, ‘’he’s a keeper.’’

Aaron felt his cheeks redden as she gave him a wink, and he took Robert’s hand reassuringly as they wandered into the London city night, his husband quiet as they walked further away from the pub.

‘’She was really nice.’’

‘’Yea, she was.’’

‘’You miss her.’’ It was a statement, not a question, but Robert nodded.

‘’Didn’t realise how much until I saw her again.’’

‘’We can come back, see her again.’’

‘’Yea?’’

‘’Course. And bring Liv and Seb, make it a family trip.’’

‘’I’d like that.’’ Robert replied, pressing a soft kiss to Aaron’s temple before continuing the rest of the journey to the hotel in silence.

‘’Aaron.’’

The sound of his husband’s sleep-heavy voice made Aaron turn around from his position on the window seat, and he felt a tug of warmth in his chest when he saw Robert looking soft and adorably sleepy, the duvet pulled around his waist.

‘’Hiya.’’

‘’What are you doing up?’’ Robert asked quietly.

‘’Sorry, I didn’t wake you did I?’’

‘’I could practically hear you thinking from here. You’ve been quiet since we came back, what is it?’’

‘’It’s nothing.’’

‘’Aaron,’’ Robert whispered, his voice so filled with concern that Aaron’s heart clenched, ‘’come back over here and tell me, please.’’

Aaron relented, clambering off the seat and onto the bed, where Robert wrapped his arms around him.

‘’I never really got it.’’ Aaron admitted after a moment’s silence while he mulled over his thoughts.

‘’Got what?’’

‘’When we first got together, you were so determined to hang onto Home Farm and the money, and for a while I thought it was just because of your sexuality but…’’

‘’Aaron…’’

‘’No, let me…But then I thought all you cared about was money and status, and it was never about that really, it was the security that came with it, about the roof over your head and the food on the table.’’

‘’Well maybe, a bit but…’’

‘’It’s just, you’ve tried to explain this to me before and I thought I understood it, but it’s so obvious now, after seeing those places today. I’m so sorry Robert.’’

‘’For what?’’

‘’For ever calling you selfish, or obsessed with money or – ‘’

‘’I was those things though Aaron, and I’m not proud of that.’’

‘’But you had these reasons that make everything make more sense now. You wanted a better life for yourself, and I see that so much now. And then with all that money Lawrence gave you, you just wanted a life for us that neither of us had before, but I wouldn’t let you explain. Why didn’t you ever tell me?’’

‘’It’s in the past, isn’t it? And other people have had it much worse, I’ve been lucky.’’ Robert replied softly, playing with the hem of his top, and Aaron knew what he was thinking.

‘’Hey,’’ he whispered, tilting Robert’s chin up so their eyes met. ‘’Don’t do that.’’

‘’What?’’

‘’Don’t diminish your problems because you think you should, or because you feel like you can’t be angry or sad for yourself because of what other people have gone through.’’

‘’It’s true though.’’

‘’Everything you’ve been through matters Robert, and I’m sorry you ever felt like you had to do this by yourself.’’

‘’I’m not on my own now though am I? I’ve got you and Vic, and our little family, and a home.’’

‘’I promise you, you’ll never be alone again.’’ Aaron said firmly, unable to stop the barrage of tears that suddenly began to fall.

‘’Oh Aaron, hey come here,’’ Robert soothed, pulling him closer to his chest as he stroked his back.

‘’It’s supposed to be me comforting you,’’ Aaron laughed softly against Robert’s chest.

‘’You do, every day, just being with you helps me.’’ Robert assured him.

‘’Jen said it’s obvious I make you happy.’’

‘’Well she’s right.’’

‘’She also said that you feel safe with me.’’

‘’Annoyingly observant, that one.’’ Robert said with a kiss to Aaron’s forehead.

‘’I’ll always try to make you feel safe. I love you so much Robert, and I’m so proud of the person you are.’’ Aaron said quietly as he tugged on Robert’s top and nestled against his chest.

‘’I love you too Aaron, more than you know.’’

They talked for hours after that, Robert spilling more stories about his time in London, about the kitchen disasters he had in his flat, and about his attempts to save Jen from making calamitous relationship decisions, attempts that usually involved threats of bodily harm or haphazard crime set ups. He talked about the places he’d visit and the times he felt at his lowest and just wanted to come home, and Aaron held him and laughed and cried and didn’t let go, even when they eventually fell asleep after talking themselves out.

After the heaviness of the previous day – and another missed breakfast due to a second round of spontaneous clothing removal – Aaron was curious as to what Robert had planned for their final few hours in London.

‘’Museums.’’ He scoffed when Robert handed him a leaflet of exhibits.

‘’Yea, they’re free, and educational.’’

‘’Right, yea…I thought this was a tour of your hangouts.’’

‘’It is.’’ Robert countered. ‘’Every Sunday I’d go and spend a few hours in a museum, and these two are my favourites. They’re close to each other as well. Plus, there’s a bakery nearby with cookies as big as your head.’’ He added with a hopeful grin, as if that sealed the deal.

It did apparently, and that was how Aaron found himself in the science museum an hour later, watching in awe as Robert wandered from exhibit to exhibit with childlike wonder, pointing out technical marvels and titbits he found interesting. Though he wouldn’t proclaim his enthusiasm too loudly, he had to admit that the science museum, and the natural history museum that followed, were pretty interesting, definitely made better by the permanent grin on Robert’s face as he dragged his husband all over the place to look at some new fossil that had been discovered but for all Aaron knew was just a chicken bone found in the kitchen, dolled up and cleaned up to lure more visitors.

As they strolled towards the train station that evening, chewing on the aforementioned as big as your head cookies, Aaron linked his fingers through Robert’s, feeling exhausted but somehow more whole as they wandered the London streets. They stopped by a small park to sit for a moment, their bags by their feet as they finished their food.

‘’These are so good.’’ Aaron proclaimed as he munched on his triple chocolate cookie happily, while Robert chewed his salted caramel fudge one next to him. ‘’Definitely worth the hours of fossil watching.’’

‘’Thanks, I think…’’ Robert smiled as he bit into his cookie, ‘’I loved going to that bakery, just sitting and watching, I could spend hours in there.’’

‘’Good thing you’ve a decent dentist.’’

‘’Can’t argue with that one.’’ Robert agreed.

‘’Thank you, for this weekend Rob.’’ Aaron murmured once he finished eating.

‘’Thanks for coming with me, definitely made it better.’’

‘’I’m glad you showed me all this.’’ Aaron said, gesturing vaguely around.

‘’So am I.’’ Robert admitted. ‘’Didn’t think I’d ever see some of these places again, but I should have known if it was gonna happen it would be with you.’’

‘’So nobody…I mean Chrissie never saw your flat?’’

‘’No, she wanted to, but I always had an excuse of some sort, and then eventually I moved in with her, and we moved back up to Yorkshire, so it worked out I guess, and I never had to tell her.’’

‘’Well thank you, for trusting me with it.’’

‘’I trust you with everything.’’ Robert replied without missing a beat. ‘’C’mon,’’ he said softly, pulling Aaron up and handing him his bag, ‘’let’s go home.’’

The fields and roads rushed past Aaron as their train took them back to Leeds, where they would pick up their car and head back to the village. It was quiet and peaceful, the absurdly expensive first class tickets coupled with the late hour of the train meaning they had the carriage pretty much to themselves.

Aaron looked across the table at Robert, who was dozing softly with his foot hooked around Aaron’s ankle and right hand holding Aaron’s index finger in a soft but reassuring grip. Somehow, he looked younger in the pale light, his features softer as his nose twitched adorably, and Aaron felt a rush of love pass through him as he gazed at his exhausted husband, the weekend’s confessions having taken their toll on him. He never cried once though, even when Aaron wanted him to let everything out. He didn’t complain, didn’t show any hint of bitterness, and kept a smile on his face, and Aaron had never felt so in awe of someone’s strength before.

As he ran his thumb over the ring on his husband’s left hand, his eyes swelled with tears again when he thought about all they had gone through, both individually and together to get to this point. He decided there and then that he would always make sure his annoyingly intelligent, amazingly strong, secretly kind and adorably soft husband would never ever feel alone again in his life, and as he continued to stroke the cool metal ring on his finger, he made the decision to speak to Victoria in the morning about the plan forming in his mind.

After all, she’d need more notice than last time if she wanted to bake another wedding cake.