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What Shiro doesn't tell them at first is that the body still had an occupant when Allura had placed him into it.
It wasn’t empty.
In the Black Lion’s consciousness, he had lived moment to moment, with little certainty that he’d last until the next one. The Black Lion had saved him but Shiro's spirit waned and ebbed with the Lion's strength. He couldn’t have said how long had past between when he’d seen the rest of the team and called out to Lance to when Keith had forced his into the astral plane through sheer force of will. Shiro’s awareness of the outside world was similarly disjointed - it took a paladin in the Lion’s pilot seat to return his awareness of the world.
The battle with Lotor was over. The Castle of Lions had been lost. The team had set down to sort out the clone that Keith had recovered. The Black Lion settled down with him to wait for the next event that needed their attention.
Allura’s presence was a sudden shock. Bright and blazing, she appeared before the Black Lion in the astral plane, aglow with energy.
Give him to me, she asked regally. Distance was another thing distorted just like time in the astral plane. She stood before the Lion and yet simultaneously stood so far away from Shiro, a distance only Keith had been able to bridge far.
Without turning its head, the Black Lion looked towards Shiro. Paladin, it said. Go with her.
Go with Allura, where? So accustomed to his state, to being trapped on this plane, it took Shiro a moment to realise an escape was being offered. Even then, it seemed impossible. His body was gone, destroyed in the battle with Zarkon.
The Princess took his delay as hesitation on the Lion's part. Please, she implored. Please, give Shiro to me. You have protected him for so long and you have my eternal gratitude for this. But he is not meant for this realm - we have a body for him.
Shiro was already closing the distance between them without really comprehending the princess's words. What mattered most to him was that she was here, after an eternity of solitude. It wasn't far yet it felt like he'd walked a thousand miles to reach Allura. He couldn't call out to the princess, the journey took everything he had to get there.
But she'd seen him. Oh, Allura said, raising her hands as Shiro approached. The glow around her grew brighter, the purple of Shiro's own outline lit up to match. And then he was-
-was-
-was-
-was-
The lack of the Black Lion's presence was the first thing he noticed. What had once pressed on him at all times - submerged him really, now had thinned out into the background. The darkness was the next thing Shiro noticed - the astral realm of his Lion was backlit by the cosmos. Here was...nothing. A vast emptiness stretched before him, shrouded in mist. But he knew instinctively he wasn't back yet completely.
This was another mindscape, but whose?
A voice suddenly rang out.
No!
No, no. no!
Shiro instantly recognised it and shock run through him like a live-wire. This was - this was the clone's body, Allura had placed him in. And life still flickered with in it. Shiro could feel it, somewhere close by, writhing angrily and locked up in some sort of battle.
For survival? Against Shiro maybe - an interloper caught up in a scheme he hadn't read the fine print for. He hadn't asked Allura, should have, he'd just been so pleased to see her-
This wasn't right.
He'd made his peace with his fate long ago. And trading the living for the dead- it wasn't right, no matter how he might have wished otherwise. To be reunited with the team again…but the price was too high. This body had a soul already and it wasn't Shiro's place to take it, even if the body was derived from his own flesh and blood. The clone was a person, an individual, one that Shiro had watched over and gotten to know from his perch in the astral plane.
Given a choice between Keith and his doppelganger, there was no doubt that Shiro would have preferred Keith in the pilot's seat. But it had been the clone’s love and desperate desire to protect the team that had driven him to the Black Lion again. He had been Shiro in all ways that mattered. Both the Black Lion and Shiro has seen it.
If Ulaz hadn't freed Shiro, this could have been his fate. Haggar’s tool, under her complete control. She would have found a way, Shiro reflected bleakly. There was no telling what lengths she would go.
He hadn't forgotten the witch's words either, thrown at him in the middle of battle.
You could have been our greatest weapon!
An ominous promise. A warning. One Shiro couldn't have ever possibly foreseen the meaning until Keith and the Black Lion had discovered the result, trapped in a dying fighter.
But he knew, if given the choice, the clone would have never endangered the team or attacked Keith, not willingly. It terrified Shiro, how close they’d come to destruction but the blame had never fallen on the clone, that was purely Haggar’s fault.
This other Shiro hadn't known his origins or Haggar's purpose, he'd been an unwitting victim in this whole mess.
This was one trade Shiro could not, in good conscience, accept.
You won't win! The clone's voice suddenly rang out through the mindscape.
Shiro reacted instantly to the aggression he could hear, drawing his arm up defensively. And then, abruptly, he was there. The clone with one arm missing, fighting for his life , locked in combat with a malignant violet shadow.
Haggar's influence, Shiro realised as he watched. Even now, she was still vying for control. The clone was holding her off, but just barely. His form, his spirit flickered as he moved, like a candle on the verge of blowing out. The darkness knocked the other Shiro off his feet and he fell backwards with a cry. Triumphantly, the darkness swelled-
Shiro was in motion before he fully comprehended it. He body slammed the shadow away and pinned it to the ground with all his strength. His muscles strained to keep it down as it thrashed underneath him, violet light streaking through the shifting darkness. The other Shiro remained sprawled on his back, watching with wide purple eyes.
"You're…" the clone gasped wonderingly. "How…?" He shook his head, trying to grasp the turn of events.
Shiro had no idea how to approach this situation. "Hey," he said awkwardly, shifting to get a better grip on the writhing mass beneath him, stalling to get his thoughts together.
A myriad of emotions flickered across his counterpart's face, too quick to categorise them. Fortunately for Shiro, the other man had no compunctions about setting the record straight. "You're the real Shiro," he stated bluntly.
"For a given definition of real," Shiro agreed wryly. Shiro’s mirror-image jutted his jaw, an obstinate question. “Considering I’m dead and you’re not…” He would have shrugged his shoulders, but he was preoccupied with keeping this thing down.
The other man blinked. “Oh,” he said tiredly, swiftly grasping the situation. His eyes vacantly wandered over the landscape before resting again on Shiro. He tried to pull himself up then gave up on the movement half way, his strength depleted. “That’s…good,” he breathed half a beat later. His eyes slide shut and he took a deep breath. “I’m glad. You’ll fix this, make it right. The team needs you back.”
No, this wasn’t-
“That’s not what I’m here for!” Shiro blurted. “I didn’t- I’m not here to take your place. I wouldn’t have left the Black Lion had I known…”
“That I was still here?”
Shiro tightened his grip. “Wasn’t given much of an explanation of what was going on.”
“It’s fine,” his counterpart assured him. “Really, it is. I’m glad you’re here, that we got to meet before…” he shook his head again and blew out a breath. “The team will be safe this way. That’s all I want.”
“That’s-“ frustrated, Shiro almost let go of his captive to run his hand through his hair before realising what he was doing. Even this conversation was proving what Shiro already knew about his doppelgänger, that the team was always his top priority, even over himself.
Everything would have been so much easier if Haggar hadn’t done her job so well. If the clone had been sent in as a double agent, an enemy in disguise that full well intended to destroy the team from the inside out. But this man had lived his life full well believing he was Shiro and had acted in complete accordance to his personal values.
He wasn’t the enemy.
“I can’t. This isn’t my body and I won’t take it from you.”
“I tried to kill them all! The danger I present to the-“
“That was on Haggar,” Shiro cut in. “Not you. It wasn’t your choice, wasn’t it??” He stared down the other man until his mirror-image reluctantly dipped his head to acknowledge the point made. “And if I destroy this, you’ll be free of her, right?” Shiro nodded to the seething purple and black beneath him. “I kill this, she can’t control you anymore.”
Shiro’s twin smiled grimly. “Yeah, yeah that’s right. But I don’t think there’ll be much left of me after. It’s taken everything I have to hold on this long.”
“What?”
“Shiro,” the other man said gently, gesturing down at himself. “Look.”
Thick tangles of dark ropey energy wound their way between the shadow and the clone. They were connected, bound together by the coils of corrupted spellwork Haggar had built into Shiro's counterpart. The vast majority of it spewed forth from the clone’s empty shoulder, a horrifying umbilical cord that had birthed the very darkness now attempted to claim the clone’s life. The other Shiro lifted his remaining arm with a bittersweet smile and Shiro watched as the corruption ate away at him, turning the white of his Paladin armour into charred black.
The clone’s outline flickered again. His soul was fading, Shiro realised with horror. Dying before his very eyes. As soon as the other Shiro saw the realisation had been made, he pulled himself upright and began to speak rapidly over Shiro.
“I can’t- There must be something-“
“Hey, it’s okay,” the other man said, trying to calm Shiro down. “I need you to do this.” He closed his eyes and a peaceful expression crossed his face, it lasted only a moment. The darkness thrashed under Shiro’s arms and pain flashed across the clone’s features as he grunted and grit his teeth.
“Please,” he said urgently, opening his eyes to stare Shiro down. “She can’t have me! Please-this way, you save us both. Don’t let her win! I can’t be what she made me!”
That request punched right through Shiro. He could not bring himself to refuse. If it was him -and that was the cincher, wasn't it? This man was both him and not- and the only choices he faced was to live on as Haggar's puppet or oblivion, Shiro knew which he would pick.
This wasn't fair.
This wasn't right.
His arm activated with a flash of purple light and Shiro plunged it into the center of the writhing black mass. An eerie shriek escaped that shook and rattled across the mindscape. The other Shiro gasped and his entire body shuddered once, then went still.
“Oh,” he sighed and the bottom of Shiro’s stomach fell out with the finality of it.
Shiro shoved the darkness away, already crumbling to nothing. He stumble over to the other man, falling to his knees in front of him. He reached out and grabbed the other Shiro’s hand, gripping it tightly. “Thank you,” the clone squeezed his fingers with his fading strength, giving a tired smile. He pulled Shiro closer, hanging their heads together. That unnatural violet light had finally left his eyes and the gaze he turned on Shiro was pained but relieved.
“I didn’t want to go out as Haggar’s tool,” he told Shiro quietly. “Don’t you dare for a minute blame yourself for this,” Shiro's counterpart insisted, volume returning to his voice for a moment before waning again. What a sight Shiro must have been, making a dying man comfort the man who had simultaneously saved and condemned him. “This was my choice and the only way - and I’m glad alright? You’ll stop her, won’t you? Stop her for me?”
Shiro licked his lips, mouth unbearably dry and tried to swallow around the ball down his throat. “Yeah,” he rasped. “You know I will.”
His mirror-image wasn’t done. Another flicker went through him, longer this time. “And the team, our family, feels a bit redundant to ask this but-“
With a pained laugh, Shiro cut in. “You know I’ll look after them,” he promised, squeezing the hand he had clasped.
“Good,” the other Shiro replied. His eyes were light, both of them had know instantly what he was asking for. The levity quickly faded as he contemplated next what he wanted to say.
“And for Keith…” the words were barely a whisper now.
Shiro’s eyes widened and he leant in to listen closely. “…tell Keith…” the other Shiro gave a choked off laugh. “Shit, I don’t know, there’s so much- tell him I’m sorry about-" he let go of Shiro’s hand and gestured quickly to his face with a bitter smile. Then he grimaced and shook his head. “For the rest of it, I…I don’t know. I think it’ll be up to you.”
The rest of it? Before Shiro could dwell on it, the other man tenses up, curling in on himself. His form collapses in on itself with a violent spray of gold light, blinding Shiro in the process and he sees-
-a tank of purple, Galra scientists milling about. A frantic escape-
-a planet of ice, activating his arm because of the wound in his leg-
-Voltron in the distance, leaving the battlefield. He tries to catch up but the fighter is no match for Voltron's speed and he's left behind-
These were...these were…
-ship log after ship log, oxygen depleting. No food. No water. No hope of rescue-
-the Black Lion and the Castles floats in front of him. Snatched from the jaws of death, just when he least expected it. Keith, pulling him from the fighter. Hunk, Pidge, Lance, their relieved smiles as Allura carries him down to the medical bay. Coran's already in there, preparing a healing pod-
...memories..?
-The Black Lion, silent and unresponsive. Rejected for reasons he doesn't know why. Had the Galra done something to him? Something to damage the bond between him and the Lion. He wanted to know why but there was no time, the mission came first-
They come quicker now. Images and conversations rushed through Shiro's mind. Some he recognised, had witnessed half of it either from Keith or from his counter-part. Arguing with Keith, trying to get him to focus on leading the team, taking part in Coran's coalition shows, then trying to hold the peace when Lotor had surrendered himself into Voltron's care.
More and more flashed by -taking Lotor to the Kral Zera against the team's wishes, a card game, the desire to be a Paladin again and again- until-
Shiro, please. You’re my brother.
I love you.
Keith?
Light flared.
The foreign sensation of oxygen whooshing down lungs.
He bolted upright, coughing and spluttering as he gasped for air. The weight of a body, an actual physical form, caught up to him a beat later and he flopped towards the ground, only to be caught by a strong pair of hands. Keith knelt by his side, Lance on the other. The rest of the team is gathered around.
The Lions roar.
"You found me."
