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It was no secret that they all were struggling with nightmares since their defeat in New York City. With so much lost in such a short space of time, it was bound to happen.
Michelangelo was the most open about his nightmares. Dreams that replayed his helplessness when Leonardo smashed through the window as well as watching his father being thrown into the churning waters of the sewers by a man whom a long time ago was someone his father considered to be his brother. His dreams featured those that they had left behind in New York. Leatherhead, Mr Murakami, Karai, Sir Malachi, Mr O’Neil; people that called them their friends and accepted them for who and what they are. Their mutated forms asking why they were abandoned to their fate.
He tried to hide it at first but after Raphael noticed his little brother’s exhausted demeanor and confronted him about it, Mikey relented. In the weeks since, Mikey usually went to Raph’s room whenever he was plagued by nightmares, which was often. He also sought the comfort of Donatello, when his purple-banded brother was actually in bed.
Donatello’s nightmares manifested themselves as the re-enactment of his argument with Leonardo before they were separated by the Kraang. Sometimes his dreams would act out the events of The Invasion to the exact detail. Other times, his dreams would twist those details, adding in all the frustrated and hurtful thoughts he had about his oldest brother at the time and forcing him to say them. However, every single one ended with his brother smashing through the window of the O’Neil’s apartment.
He would wake to his ragged breathing and damp cheeks, and sometimes his little brother snuggled into his side. He was grateful for those nights when Mikey was there as he focused on comforting his brother rather than overthinking his own dreams. The nights where his brother was not there were worse. Those were usually the nights where he had fallen asleep at the desk of his makeshift lab in the barn. The distraction of his projects helped to an extent but didn’t fully take his mind off of his dreams.
Raphael’s nightmares were similar to Michelangelo’s, playing on the anger and helplessness that he felt towards the unknown fates of his older brother and his father. He re-lived the moment Master Splinter was defeated by the Shredder; his father reaching out to his children as Raphael watched on helpless as he tried to fight his way past the metal sewer grate that separated them. He’d also dream of Leonardo dying. That he’d wake at Leo’s bedside and notice his older brother’s chest had stilled and his skin was pale and cold. It always felt so real, and after waking, Raph would find himself at Leo’s bedside in a state of panic, making sure that his brother was still with them.
April had seen her father taken from her three times now, two of which she had watched him mutate grotesquely into a creature that didn’t even recognise her. Her nightmares preyed upon her fear that she would never get her father back, that he would be forever lost to her. Though her father’s recent mutation weighed heavily on her, this was a familiar feeling that she had felt numerous times in the past year. It didn’t stop the tears that inevitably came after one of those dreams.
Casey firmly denied that he struggled with nightmares, though he was having them almost every night. In his dreams he looked for his family, calling for them and receiving no answer. Sometimes he would find them, mutated and walking the streets around their neighbourhood. Most often, he never found them, his worry and helplessness increasing until he felt sick. He always struggled to fall back to sleep afterwards, pottering around the house until morning.
It was on one of those nights that Casey found himself seated at the kitchen table, across from Raphael. Having heard Casey wandering the house for at least the third time that week, Raph had decided to confront his friend about it.
“I just feel so helpless”, Casey muttered. “I’m supposed to protect them, and here I am safe out here in the country and I have no idea if they were mutated or if they are still there looking for me or if they managed to get out of there before it got too bad.”
“I know how you feel.”
“How? Your family is here.” Casey regretted his words the moment he said it. He flinched waiting for the heated response that he came to expect from his best friend.
“News flash Jones, Leo’s in a coma and Master Splinter is possibly dead, I’m pretty sure that I have a pretty good idea what you’re feeling right now” Raph replied almost too calmly for what they were discussing.
And although he hadn’t yelled it, to Casey it seemed to echo in the empty kitchen.
“I’m sorry man” Casey apologised.
“Don’t be.” Raph replied gruffly. “Look Case, you can’t do anything for them now. And believe me it’s not easy to think that way. But there is nothing we can really do out here. We’ve been up here for nearly a month and we haven’t heard squat about New York City.”
“It’s like the media censored everything about what’s going on there” Casey continued the thought. “You would think that the government would have noticed, or people on social media or something. What about everyone who have family and friends in the city? Aren’t they wondering why they can’t visit or get through to them or where they are?”
Casey flopped back down resting his head on his arms that were crossed on the table top. “I mean it’s just weird don’t you think? That no one has realised yet?”
Raph thought about it for a moment. “Well, the most obvious answer would be that the Kraang are behind it all. But really there’s not much we can do about it for now.” He sighed; defeated and exhausted, resting his cheek against his palm.
“With Leo still out of commission and showing no signs of waking anytime soon, we’re pretty much stuck here. When he wakes up we’ll make up a plan to fix everything. That includes finding your family Casey. I promise you that.”
“Thanks man. It’s just that I wish I knew what happened to them. You know, closure and all that deal.”
“Yeah I know, Case. I know.”
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Leonardo dreamt of pain. The pain he felt getting beaten by Shredder and his goons. The pain that was his last conscious memory of getting thrown through the window of the O’Neil’s apartment. The pain of knowing that their friends, their city, and their home were lost to them. The pain of finding out that his father was most likely dead, and the pain of the regret over not being there for him at the time, and not being there afterwards to help his brothers through their grief.
So it was no surprise that Leo was not getting the restful sleep that he really needed. Most nights he found himself staring at the ceiling, wishing for sleep to claim him, but dreading it all the same.
Tonight he sat at the kitchen table, staring at a glass of water he had poured himself an hour ago, and thinking of his dreams.
He was startled out of his thoughts by the sound of the chair scraping back against the linoleum floor as Casey sat opposite him.
“Bad dreams?” Casey asked with a tired but knowing smile.
“Yeah, how’d you know?” In his sleep deprived state, Leo almost startled at his voice, still not used to the sound of it, especially when it echoed in the quiet farmhouse.
“You have the same look all of us had when we got here.” Casey stated like it were obvious, as he stood back up to rummage through the fridge searching for leftovers from that night’s pizza dinner.
“We all had them at the start, the nightmares I mean.” He continued as he sat back down with two slices of cold pizza, offering one to Leo as he did. “I’m pretty sure Mikey still has them. That, or he just got into the habit of bunking with one of us over the past few months.”
Leo had woken up on occasion to his youngest brother tucked up against his side, he had thought that maybe nightmares had been the cause of it, seeing as Mike would do the same when they were very little.
Leo looked down, focusing again on his half-empty glass of water, “How did you get over it?”
“Simple.” Casey said through a mouthful of pizza. “We helped each other through it.”
Leo looked up to meet Casey’s confident gaze, the hockey-masked vigilante smiling softly.
“And don’t worry Leo, we’re going to help you through it too.”