Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The headmaster of Metropolis city primary school for the gifted re-adjusted his tie. It was late February, but he still found his shirt sticking to his back, drenched in nervous sweat. He switched on the lamp on his desk before he thought better of it and switched it off again.

He looked at the clock hanging on one of the green walls, watching its hands turn at a snail’s pace, torn between wanting the entire affair to be over, and wishing for the time to stop all together. He found himself dreading every new minute, as it seemed to push the inevitable encounter ever closer. He looked at the kids with a smile, trying to hide his anxiety.

Jonathan Kent threw him a nervous glance, but quickly lowered his head again. Too terrified to utter a single word, he watched the pristine white floor, teeth almost chattering in the anticipation of the punishment. Lena Luthor, sitting next to him, swung her legs, increasingly bored. With a careless expression, she scanned the office, looking for something to busy her brain with.

There was a knock on the door.

The headmaster re-adjusted his tie again, motioning to Lena to get it for him. The girl sprang up from the chair, almost knocking it over, and opened the doors impatiently.

Lex Luthor strolled into the room as if he owned the entire school and only came by to check its condition. He gave the headmaster one long look before his eyes turned to Lena pulling at the sleeve of his custom-made suit. She suddenly tried her best to look utterly miserable and apologetic until a hand landed on her head, gently brushing her hair.

The lights from the ceiling reflected on his smooth scalp, and it looked like he was almost smiling, but as he lifted his eyes from his daughter, his expression turned cold.

‘Good afternoon, mr Luthor.’ mr Amerson greeted, trying his best not to sound intimidated by the presence of one of the most influential men on the planet. After all, this was just the beginning.

‘Not very good, I’m afraid.’ the man replied, obviously displeased that he was forced to drive all the way over here instead of overseeing the trial run of one of his projects. He turned his attention to Jon, and his green eyes narrowed dangerously.

‘Where is he?!’ he slowly demanded to no one in particular.

Jonathan tried to burrow into his chair, scared for his life.

‘You were the first to arrive. Of course, I wasn’t expecting either one of you so soon... It’s just a minor thing, really.’ the headmaster answered carefully, trying to coax his guest into relaxing a little. He gestured to an empty chair in the middle of the room but Luthor just scoffed, ignoring him all together.

Lena pulled at her father’s sleeve again until he reluctantly bent down to let her whisper something urgent into his ear.

The headmaster let out a nervous chuckle, resisting the urge to wipe the sweat running down his forehead. He turned around only to catch Jon’s mouth moving, as if he’d just finished saying something, too quietly for human ears to perceive.

‘I’m sorry, Jon, what was that?’

‘C-could I open… the window for dad…?’ he whispered, this time almost audibly.

Luthor immediately stood up straight, head held high, as if somebody poked him into the back. Lena copied him, a little unsure.  

‘The win-’ the headmaster managed before the air hit the windows full force, almost forcing them out of their hinges, as if a typhoon came knocking. The shock shook the building, knocking over the table lamp and filling the room with the rattling of glass.

A second after that, the thing that might have been just a blurred streak of colour on the horizon zapped into focus right before the glass surface with another gust of wind. The afterimage finally disappeared, leaving only a huge man in a tight uniform floating in front of the window.

Jon was already waiting for him there, turning the handle so eagerly that he ripped it out.

‘Look, up in the sky-’ Lena whispered, nudging her father with a grin.

‘Don’t.’ he cut her off coldly, unamused.

 Superman entered the room, taking in the situation in a matter of milliseconds. He turned to his son who tried to hide the handle behind his back, eyes wet with tears.

‘Right here, Jon.’ Clark said softly, moving in to rub his head but he was grabbed into a tight embrace before he could even try to resist. Reassured, he lifted his head up to meet Luthor’s eyes.

The two of them glared at each other with well-practiced hostility, quite forgetting that they weren’t alone in the room.

‘Ah, mr Kent, glad you could make it with your busy schedule.’ the headmaster spoke up, disrupting their glaring contest. He tried to look professional, but his knees were shaking visibly.

‘We tend to enter through the doors, here on Earth.’ Lex added. It was almost their greeting by now, with Superman’s impressive track record of breaking and entering.

This time, however, there was no list of evil deeds or supposed offences to recite, so Clark was left only with a single word to grate through his teeth, as he floated few centimetres above the floor. 

‘Luthor.’ 

‘Superman.’ Lena whispered into the quiet of the room, before her father could even open his mouth. Those blue alien eyes turned to her instead and she gulped, quickly hiding behind Luthor. She peeked at him from the safety, cheeks bright red and wide green eyes full of fear and awe.

Clark was seriously torn between crouching down to smile at her gently, and glaring at her father again, just for a good measure. He cleared his throat and put on the serious face he was using for dealings with super criminals.

‘I should have expected that you’d be involved.’ he announced, almost as if delivering a verdict for nothing lesser than the dissolving of the ozone layer.

‘That might mean you’ve beaten your record for jumping to the wrong conclusion for the second time this month.’ Lex replied, eyes narrowed. He walked right next to him, with Lena in tow, to intimidate him from closer proximity.

‘Mr Amerson was just about to tell me all about how your son attacked my daughter.’ he stated casually while turning to look at the headmaster.

 ‘Weren’t you…?’ his smile was polite but his glare threatened with utter destruction of this building and mr Amerson‘s career.

Superman’s eyes turned to the person in question, literally looking right through his ribcage to get at his heart.

The headmaster swallowed, desperately trying to come up with a pleasing answer.

‘I-I do not really… we haven’t found out what happened exactly so…’

‘He was bullying me!’ Lena shouted out, pointing one accusing finger at the boy.

‘Did not!’ Jon shouted back from where he was still grabbing onto his father’s uniform.

‘He laughed at my hair!’

Lex frowned, putting one arm around her protectively.

Superman looked down at Jonathan who guiltily turned his head away.

‘I didn’t say that. It was Damian who- ‘

‘I don’t have hair like McDonald!’ Lena cut him off, stomping angrily, with tears forming at the corners of her eyes.

Luthor got down on one knee, almost falling to the floor head first as she threw her tiny arms around his neck and kept him close.

‘My hair isn’t ugly.’ she said, upper lip shaking as she tried to stop herself from crying.

‘Of course not.’ he whispered softly. It took him two months just to get the colour right, he’d know.

‘You have hair just like your grandma who was-’

‘The prettiest and smartest woman in town. I know dad.’ Lena muttered back, forced to listen to that exactly same sentence every time she had her ginger crisis.

Lex smiled and gently petted her hair. Her grandma might have been somewhat passable physically, but she was a bigoted bitch who married a brainless drunk. Well, not that she’d crawl out of the grave to protest over being reused as a female role model.   

Superman pretended that he wasn’t seeing the entire display, not entirely ready to acknowledge the fact that his nemesis might lead a life that doesn’t centre only around toppling governments and complaining about flying aliens showing up at his balcony at 3am. The fact that he was clearly showing affection to something which didn’t consist of kryptonite was also highly suspicious.

 ‘Luthors don’t cry.’ Lex reminded Lena, wiping her tears. He handed her a tissue and she blew her nose, providing the only sound in the office.

Jon finally let go of his father, gingerly looking over to her. Luthor gave him a quick glare before he stood up and brushed the dust off his trousers.

‘You will apologise.’ he stated the ultimatum, voice cold.

‘But Damian-’ Jon started but his excuse was immediately interrupted.

‘I will get him later.’ Luthor declared in a voice that promised eternal damnation.

‘Jon.’ Superman urged him on, laying one hand on his shoulder.

‘She threw a table at me!’ the boy lashed out and Lena stuck his tongue out at him instead of a reply.

‘A table…?’ Clark repeated, crossing his arms over his chest to give his best ‘What did you do this time, Luthor?!’ impression.

‘Don’t be ridiculous…’ Lex said with a chuckle, but he gave his daughter a sharp glare when he was sure the others weren’t looking.

‘Does she have superpowers?! WHO is her mother?’ Superman demanded, leaning in threateningly. He was close enough to Luthor count all the electrons in the atoms making up his eyelashes.

’I thought you’d know more about my personal life from spying on me all the time. It’s none of your business.’

Clark grit his teeth until they hurt. Of course he’d get a clear answer that wouldn’t let him check to see if he was being lied to.

Lex could feel the heat emanating from his bright red eyes, but he didn’t flinch away, and defiantly stared right into them.

‘The soda machine is damaged too… some chairs were lying on the floor but none of them broken… and the office window right now…’ the headmaster butted in, careful to stay two meters away from them, just in case Superman really did decide to scorch somebody with his heat vision.

‘She threw the soda machine at me too.’ Jon suddenly remembered and got a deadly glare from Luthor as a reward.

‘Luthor.’ Superman hissed through his gritted teeth.

‘He was bullying me!’ Lena pointed out again, annoyed.

‘I’ll foot the bill. Just say the number.’ Lex groaned, pulling out his wallet. Clark hesitated, scratching his neck, suddenly all too meek.

‘Lex, I could-’

‘You work as a journalist and a miserable one at that. We wouldn’t want to ruin you.’

‘The examination is still in progress. We’ll inform you once we estimate all the damage.’ the headmaster said, making himself a mental note to fish out their phone numbers. 

‘And what about our children, will they be suspended?’ Clark asked carefully and Jon’s face went white at the implication.

Luthor’s head snapped around at the mention of ‘their’ children, but judging by Superman’s face, it was just a generalisation, not an actual observation. Lena gave him a quick look, more scared of the punishment from her dad for revealing her powers.

The headmaster looked at Jon and his superpowered father, who saved thousands of people (for free), and deserved all the possible praises and honours he could get. They would conform and respect any punishment given as long as it was lawful and just. Lex Luthor, on the other hand, kept the town up and running with his (usually highly suspicious) investments and could ruin them with one word if they gave his daughter a single bad look.

It didn’t look like he had other choice. He took a deep breath and thought the entire thing three times over before he opened his mouth.

‘It seems like both of them were in a heated situation at least partially caused by Jon, in which an intense flare of emotion caused Lena to manifest her previously hidden powers and led to an unintentional destruction of school property. Seeing that this is a very special case, I’m willing to overlook their behaviour today, if all the damages are compensated.’ he declared, carefully observing their reactions.

‘Exactly. Lena must have been under an exceptionally high emotional pressure. Do give me a call once you have the estimates. I imagine some new projectors would help with the education.’ Luthor replied with a satisfied smirk, glancing at Superman.

‘W-well, …of course they would…’ the headmaster nodded, quite astonished.

Clark didn’t seem so happy that they’d let them off that easily.

‘I understand your reasons, but you need to reconsider this. Miss Luthor certainly knew about her powers and had control over them. And if Jon and Damian Wayne were really laughing at her, especially if they bother her like that often, they should be reprimanded somehow.’ He spoke out in his resonating voice, looking mr Amerson straight in the eyes. Jon hung his head again guiltily.

Lex had to force himself not to roll his eyes at that. How typical.

The headmaster sighed, allowing himself to smile.

‘It wasn’t any blood feud, mr Kent. Kids have fights now and then, growing up. We need to pay extra caution because of their extraordinary talents, but we’re ready for superpowered children at this school. Of course, if the situation ever repeated, there won’t be any exceptions.’

‘Naturally.’ Clark nodded in all seriousness.

‘Jon is a good kid, I know that he wouldn’t hurt others. And Lena…’ Luthor’s eyes shot up, and he dared the man to go on. The headmaster gulped, looking back at Superman instead.

‘I’m sure the boys only tease her to get her attention, isn’t that right, Jon?’ mr Amerson found it in himself to smile at the boy.

Jon went bright red and immediately turned around, embarrassed.

Lex wasn’t impressed. He gave Superman one goodbye-glare before turning to the headmaster. 

‘I’m glad that we finally resolved this. Goodbye, mr Amerson. Let’s get going Lena.’

‘Goodbye headmaster, goodbye mr Superman.’ Lena whispered, and she kept glancing at Clark shyly as Lex led her out of the room.

‘We’ll be on our way too. Thank you, mr Amerson. I promise that it won’t repeat.’        

‘Of course. Goodbye.’ The headmaster nodded at him, completely exhausted.

Superman smiled at him reassuringly as he closed the doors behind him. He looked at Jon who was still unsure if that was the end of it.

‘That wasn’t how you treat a lady.’ Clark commented.

‘She’s not. She’s rude and always argues with the teacher! She’s liar! And she threw a table at me!’ Jon shot back angrily, glaring at her small back as the Luthors walked through the hallways few meters ahead of them.  

‘That’s no reason to be mean to her. You made her cry.’ he continued softly. The little girl seemed quite nice for a Luthor. And it surprisingly didn’t look like Lex neglected her. Oh, here he was getting prejudiced against super-criminals again.

‘It’s not my fault that her hair’s like that.’ the boy pouted. Suddenly, his head shot up and he looked at his father, eyes wide as saucepans.

‘Do you think she’ll get bald too?’ he whispered, scandalised. Superman broke out laughing.

‘No, no, of course not. Girls don’t get bald. And Luthor’s hair fell out after an explosion in his lab.’ he explained carefully and Jonathan drank all of the new information in, fascinated.

‘Is he laughing at me, dad?’ he could hear Lena whisper from afar.

‘Of course not honey, he wouldn’t dare.’ came Lex’s clear voice in reply. The endearment came as a bit of a shock to Clark.

‘Does he make bombs? Is that why he’s evil?’ Jon questioned him further, unaware of the other conversation. His heightened perception still hasn’t fully developed. 

‘Sometimes. And he’s evil because he commits crimes… and hurts others for his personal gain…’

‘He’s bigger than in your photos.’

‘My materials are accurate, that’s just your personal perception of him together with-’

‘I know dad, I’m not dumb. I just realised it when I saw him… he’s even taller than you…’

‘Do they tick?’

‘It’s just six extra centimetres. But with his build… and his habit of floating above you…’ Lex continued with obvious discontentment.

‘No, most of them don’t.’ Clark smiled. Knowing Jon, he could keep at it for hours.

The corridors seemed endless.

‘…and he’s old?’

‘Then how come you never get hit?’

‘Thirty-three this year. And how was the algebra test today?’ Luthor tried to change the topic of conversation.

‘I do get hit sometimes. But you just need to look carefully.’

‘So you don’t go pow.’ Jon deduced and Superman chuckled at the comment, ruffling his hair.

‘That’s not that old… forty-five…’

‘But I said thirty-‘

‘I know…’

‘So you don’t go pow.’ He agreed.

They finally left the building. He could see a black car already waiting for the Luthors. It seemed like Lena still had some questions to ask.

‘And dad, when I’m old… but younger than you…’

‘And dad, on Christmas… do you look what’s inside the presents?’

‘…can I marry him?’ Lena whispered, looking up at her father nervously.

Both Lex and Clark stopped walking at the same moment, frozen up with shock.

Jon stopped too, looking back at his father in confusion.

‘Do you?’ he asked again, oblivious.

Mr Amerson looked out of his window, but quickly backed away when he saw that something in the situation has changed.

Lena went bright red and glanced back at Superman. When she found him staring at her in disbelief, her head snapped right back.

‘Did he hear me, dad?’ she whispered nervously.

‘He did. And you can’t. I’ll be sure to kill him before you grow up. Now, get in the car.’ Lex managed, voice taut.

‘Dad, are you listening to me?’

Lena’s face turned white and she quickly entered the car, hanging her head sheepishly.

‘Are you listening to them talking? You shouldn’t be doing that…’

Luthor shut the doors and got into the passenger seat. However, this time, he made sure to avoid looking in Superman’s direction.

‘…I know… I can’t block all the things out…’ especially since he was used to tuning in to Lex’s voice to hear at least a part of his evil schemes. Was that considered as spying? Breach of privacy?

The engine started and the car drove off, leaving the two of them standing on the paved road to school. Jon’s eyes followed it for some time before he turned back to Clark with a frown.

‘But do you look at the gifts dad?’  

Chapter Text

The giant entrance hall of the school was teeming with people, each one of them forcing their way in another direction. There were the security guards, slowly walking around in their bulletproof vests with guns and batons hanging from their hips, looking just about ready to face anything from drunk guests to an alien invasion. They usually stayed quiet, trying to stay out of the way, but the teachers were worse. Each one of them went on with their regular morning jog to the nearest coffee machine but they never seemed to get there in time since they just had to stop to chat to all the people they met along the way. They were especially fond of stopping in the middle of the corridor and getting in the way. But the worst of them all were the students. They called out to one another, flailing their arms around, and they wouldn’t stop running in the hallways. Some of their parents were still trailing behind them, saying quick farewells and memorising the faces of their children just in case they wouldn’t get to see them again since the buildings in Metropolis had a tendency to blow up every other Tuesday.

Lex Luthor found himself taking Lena to school today, even though he didn’t have any detonations scheduled. It was true that he still had entire boxes of test-tubes worth of important adult things to do, but he couldn’t just leave her alone with all those hypocritical idiots with diplomas and the brainless tyrants that most children turn out to be. Including a certain Jon Kent.

‘If he says a single wrong word, just drag him back to the headmaster.’ Lex started on the subject, dragging Lena aside.

‘You can toss something at him but don’t leave traces or witnesses, alright?’ 

Lena didn’t even bother to look at him, scanning the crowd for familiar faces.

‘Insult him back, abuse his weak points.’

‘I know dad.’ she grumbled back. When it came to her father, self-defence seemed to be the most popular topic for lecture, right next to alien threats.

‘If you’re that worried you could just give me some kryptonite.’

Lex’s eyes immediately widened in alarm. He leaned in, grabbing her small shoulders to get her to look at him.

‘You will never touch that thing. Are we clear on that?!’

Lena, scared by the urgency in his voice, just managed a weak ‘Alright.’, looking straight into his narrowed eyes.

‘Good.’ he replied with obvious relief, giving her a quick hug. He made himself a mental note to change the security codes to his laboratory and add some lead shielding around Lena’s room. Or maybe all the rooms since he didn’t feel like throwing Superman any more clues. Thank god that his head was too full of righteousness and justice to leave some space for deduction.

‘Do I get points deducted for that?’ she asked, pouting. Her hypothetical marriage with Superman costed her 20 yesterday. She still had enough to get permission to eat ice-cream for breakfast (it was only 28 points) but she wanted to save up for ‘week without school’ or ‘doodle on the walls’. ‘Ask me one question that I have to truthfully answer’ didn’t seem like such a good choice after her dad refused to answer who her mother was. ‘I’m your mother.’ wasn’t even all that funny the first time.

‘No, it’s the perfect solution to your problem. It’s just that this is… a special situation that I’ll explain when you’re older. But you’re starting to think like a Luthor. I’ll give you two points.’

Lena’s frown deepened. She hated ‘special situations’, there was no point arguing about them, she’d tried. But two points weren’t bad.

‘Okay, dad.’

Lex smiled and brushed her hair, careful not to mess her hairstyle. It seemed like he was getting better at weaving twin braids, even though it still ate up most of his morning. It also made him grateful that he was bald which was a small miracle.

‘You know that you just need to call and I’ll level this place to the ground, right?’ he tried to reassure her, ignoring all the concerned stares from the other parents.

Lena sighed, readjusting the straps on her bag.

‘Dad, you’re embarrassing me!’

‘Opinions of these idiots don’t matter.’ this said while looking directly at the P.E. teacher, who wasn’t bold enough to disagree.

Lena frowned in agreement, itching to move from that spot in the corner. The class started in two minutes.

‘I should be going.’

‘Okay, honey, make me proud.’ Lex stepped back but then a realisation lit up on his face.

‘Or don’t. I won’t… pressure you…’ he managed, face taut with concentration. That should be better for the development, right? It was hard not having a partner that’d take all the responsibility, but he’d probably end up throwing them off a skyscraper after their second argument. And that certainly didn’t seem beneficial for child’s mental health.

He turned to Lena, thoughtful.

‘Is it bad that I’m having you study three foreign languages at this age?’

‘Luthor is never wrong. Bye dad.’ she announced before she turned around and hurried away.

‘Be careful!’ he called out after her and she just waved one arm dismissively.

Lex couldn’t help but smile as he watched her dash through the corridor. Somehow, he seemed to be a surprisingly good parent so far.

‘You’re late, Damian!’ Jon shouted out as soon as his friend climbed down the helicopter ladder.

Damian shrugged and went right past him to the doors. ‘I didn’t tell you to wait for me.’ 

‘You know I do that every morning.’ Jon sighed and followed after him. He hated being late.

‘That’s your stupid decision.’

Damian picked up the pace but soon realised that there were no footsteps behind him. Jon stood there, all white in the face.

‘Okay. I’ll let you play on my PS4…’ still no reaction. He wasn’t going to apologise.

‘X Box one X then…?’

Jon gritted his teeth, alarmed. ‘Keep quiet.’ he hissed, pointing at the school.

Lex Luthor had just exited the building.

Damian snorted. ‘He’s a harmless psycho. My dad could wipe the floor with him.’

‘What if he heard you!’ Jon whispered back, seeing that Luthor homed in on them and started walking.

‘And…?’

‘He hates me already, you don’t have to make it worse! I bet he’s walking around with kryptonite in his pockets!’

 Damian actually looked surprised at that. ‘He did start stocking up on it. That’s because of you?’

‘No…?’ Jon whimpered back, feeling incredibly sick. He was going to face that man alone again, without his dad to save him in time. Maybe he should run while they still had the ti-

Lex Luthor got to Damian, putting one hand on his shoulder in a semblance of goodwill.

‘Planning on going to school, Damian? Isn’t it a little late for that?’ he spoke up with a thin smile, voice cold.  

‘Yeah, we’re late. We don’t have time to stay and chat.’ Damian snapped back, refusing to flinch under that glare.

Jon walked hesitantly closer, prepared to protect his friend, albeit quite reluctantly.

‘That’s good, because I’m not here to chat. It’s just a simple message, really, I’m sure you’d understand.’

Damian tried to shake Luthor’s hand off but it just gripped even tighter, burrowing into his shoulder. Lex leaned in and his smile disappeared almost instantly, green eyes shining with killing intent.

‘Hurt my daughter again and I will cut out your tongue and send it to your father in a giftbox. I don’t care if it’s psychical or physical, if you do it by accident, or if someone forces you to. I will ruin your life.’ he declared with unshakeable conviction.

Damian gulped, unconsciously reaching for his utility belt but he was suddenly released, as if nothing even happened.

Luthor straightened his tie, casually adding ‘Oh, and by the way, I gave your mother contact on one of my lawyers, she wanted to revise the court decision over the child custody. Wish her luck?’ 

‘Screw you.’ Damian growled back, crossing his arms over his chest.

Jon’s hand flew up to cover his mouth. That was definitely on the list of bad words.

‘Proud heir to the Wayne family fortune.’ Lex replied sarcastically. It was obvious enough that he had the upper hand so there was no point in wasting his time on the brat. He turned to leave when his piercing eyes fell on the other boy standing right next to them, awfully quiet.

‘How are you not in the school yet, Jon? Don’t tell me your father would drop you off late after that fiasco yesterday.’ he somehow managed to spit out the word ‘father’ as if it was an obscene insult. Just thinking about Superman made his skin crawl and his head hurt.

‘I… I go by bus when I’m at dad’s.’ Jon replied quietly, playing with his shirt. Judging by Luthor’s expression, however, it wasn’t the answer he expected.

‘By bus?!’ he repeated, as if he had trouble understanding that concept.

‘You know, it looks like a car but longer.’ Damian explained pointedly but went immediately silent when he received a glare that practically spelled TONGUE IN A BOX.

 Lex decided to ignore him and walked over to Jon. The boy visibly flinched when a hand landed on his head. 

‘Make sure not to be late again, alright? You shouldn’t get in trouble, it makes your father look bad.’ he explained as he continued petting his head, enjoying seeing the boy squirm. His hair was soft and dark, with one stray strand of hair that formed a curl above the forehead, just like his father’s. Except for the softness, he never got to verify that.

Jon looked up at him, big blue eyes full of terror and confusion, as if crying out ‘please don’t hurt me’ and Lex was surprised to find out that it played right to his newly discovered father instincts in a very inconvenient way.

He suddenly couldn’t decide if he wanted to scar him for life or adopt him. The child reminded him too much of his father but imagining Superman shaking like that in front of him did wonders for his sky-high self-esteem.

Damian seemed to notice his faraway look because he moved to yank his friend away from him and it took Luthor few seconds to realise that he was petting empty air. He turned around in confusion, frowning at the two of them for interrupting his moment of contemplation. With a sigh, he checked his watch and gestured for them to leave him alone.

‘Run along. And remember the message.’ he said distractedly as he started walking in the opposite direction, ignoring the concerned looks they were giving him.

‘By bus…’ he muttered to himself when they were out of sight, disgusted. Clark has really outdone himself with that one. Squeeze his son into a smelly metal box with all those people stinking of piss and alcohol. People like his father.

He’d never wish that on his child.

‘Lena, darling, what is that?’ the teacher walked over to her, obviously puzzled by her creation.

Lena lifted her head up from the paper, laying down her marker pen. ‘That’s the floor plan of our skyscraper and a sketch of dad’s summerhouse.’ she stated, proudly looking at her work.

‘It’s lovely… but maybe you should try doing something other than a technical drawing?’

‘But the topic was My house!’   

‘No, it was My home.’

Lena frowned as she grasped that subtle difference and looked at her drawing again. She was ready to argue but getting worked up over something like this would be beneath her. Instead, she simply groaned and handed it over.

‘It’s great, but maybe you can try a different approach since you’re done already? It doesn’t have to be perfect as long as you put your heart into it. Maybe add some colours?’ the teacher suggested with a smile as she took the paper.

‘Alright.’ the girl grumbled, pulling out another blank paper. She couldn’t wait to graduate and start building robots professionally. And not marry superman.

The woman moved on to Damian who seemed to have finished too since he had his legs up on the desk and stared straight ahead.

‘Damian, you did try drawing something this time, I hope?’ she asked slowly, dreading the answer. His entire paper was painted black.

‘It’s confidential.’ Damian replied matter-of-factly. Most of his works were.

The teacher sighed and only managed one resigned ‘of course’ before she turned to Jon sitting next to him, hoping to improve her mood a little.

‘And you Jon? That’s a lovely painting!’

‘That’s when I lived with mum and dad on the other side of the town.’ Jon said, dejected.

She bit the inside of her mouth. Today’s art lesson just wasn’t coming along as good as she expected.

‘I’m so sorry, honey. Do you want to talk about it?’

‘No, that’s okay, I’m used to it.’ he replied, apathetic, and started painting the sky with long, slow strokes of brush.

‘I’m here if you ever need anything, okay?’ she said softly, careful to leave him some space. Jon just nodded, refusing to lift his head up until the teacher left.

Damian turned to him to give him some encouragement, all the while trying to sound equally cool and disinterested. ‘All parents are crap. You’re better off without them.’

‘Mine are great.’ Jon muttered as a reply. He also didn’t like the c word.

‘They were just better together. But I guess you hate your mum so you wouldn’t know.’

Damian shrugged his shoulders, not even bothering to deny that. He definitely wouldn’t want to spend every other week at her place, slitting people’s throats instead of washing the dishes.

‘She’s completely nuts. And she always thinks she’s better than me. Kinda like McDonald junior over there.’ he explained, gesturing towards Lena sitting in front of them. She definitely heard it because she seemed to tense up but at least she’d decided to ignore it.

Jon furrowed his eyebrows, getting uncomfortable. ‘Don’t be mean to her. She hates it when you mention her hair!’ he felt the pit open up in his stomach again, feeding on his guilt. He could see her in the headmaster’s office, tearing up. And worse, he could see himself there, having disappointed his dad for the second time in two days.

‘Are you scared cause mr Big bald will come and get you?’ Damian teased, nudging him with his elbow, but Jon’s frown only deepened. And it wasn’t just that that seemed like a very real threat to him right now.

‘You should say you’re sorry.’ he pointed out, suddenly all too serious.

Damian gave him one annoyed look and was just opening his mouth to prove him wrong when Lena suddenly turned around. Judging by her expression, she was just about ready to start throwing things at them again.

‘You haven’t apologised either!’ she remarked coldly, glaring at him.

‘I-uh…’ Jon managed, embarrassed. He’d forgotten that. Damian chuckled and she gave him a glare too.

Jon took few moments to steady himself before he could look her straight in the eyes.  ‘I’m sorry Lena.’

Lena blinked a few times, incredulous. ‘Hm.’ she replied meaningfully, playing with her hair to calm herself down.

‘Just like your dad.’ Damian grumbled, already dreading the day when his friend puts his red pants on.

‘I’ll grow up just like my dad.’ Jon declared proudly, but his cheeks went bright red.

‘Then I’ll have to kill you.’ Lena deadpanned.

‘B-but we… we could be friends!’ he stuttered out, trying to hide his disappointment. Damian, meanwhile, grinned wildly, trying to stifle his laughter at how ridiculous his friend sounded, trying to appeal to a Luthor.

Lena seemed just as surprised at that strange solution.

‘We could?’ she asked slowly, highly suspicious.

‘Yeah. We could.’

She looked at Jon for a long time as if calculating all the odds before she nodded. It wasn’t like she had anything to lose.

‘Then we are friends now.’ Lena commanded and all of Damian’s good mood seemed to have evaporated.

‘You’re what…?!’  

Conner Kent just got off the bus and walked home on autopilot, bored beyond belief. It’s been five days and no Titan business showed up.

He reached the front gate before he realised it and glared at it for a while before he decided to force himself to open it. He could hear Krypto barking in the house, itching to greet him, but knowing full well that chewing through the door again wasn’t acceptable.

He crossed the yard with long tired steps, feet trailing in the mud.

Ma and Pa Kent were in the house, whispering to each other in hushed tones, alarmed. There was a shiny new car parked right before the garage. He had a test from Calculus next week. He missed Cassie.

Wait, they had a new car?!

He did a double take but it wasn’t a hallucination.

He dashed over to it, running a hand over its hood affectionately. He knew that Pa’s truck broke down recently, but it didn’t seem unrepairable, and this definitely didn’t look like it could replace it. It was just a small car, normal enough not to stand out in a town like Smallville, but with gorgeous bright red paint to make an impression. He loved it, so something definitely had to be wrong with it.

It seemed like this new car just drove over here from nowhere, and there was surprisingly no evidence that it was an alien in disguise or a sophisticated trap. When he looked inside, he found the keys in the ignition.

Not suspicious at all.  

‘Okay. This might just kill me.’ he muttered to himself as he opened the door but couldn’t stop himself from grinning.

The car was even better on the inside. It’s front panel was stuffed with enough shiny controls and buttons to operate a space rocket, and it definitely looked like he’d have to call Tim just to figure out how to turn the radio on.

He almost melted into the driver’s seat, trying not to make any embarrassing sounds because that was the most comfortable thing he’s ever sat down on.

He so wanted the car to be a completely harmless gift sent from a higher power.

Uh-oh. There was a note on the passenger’s seat. Conner slowly picked it up, frowning at the message written on it.

I hope you can drive. You’re a failure but you share 52% of my DNA and I didn’t bring you into this world so you’d waste your time using public transport.

If you wreck it (or if it happens to explode on it’s own) you don’t get a new one.

LL

Okay… he didn’t love the car anymore.

Chapter Text

It was 9:16 in the evening and Lex finally put his very reluctant daughter to bed. He collapsed into his leather chair, glad to finally have some alone time with his reports and a bottle of cognac, when somebody knocked on the window of the penthouse.

There was only a handful of people capable of loitering outside of his balcony on the 38^th floor and only one of them would dare. He poured himself a glass and took the time to drink it up. He found that the drunker he got, the more tolerable Superman became and the harder it was for the Kryptonian to tolerate him in return.

The knocking came again.

Luthor rubbed his temples, feeling his good mood evaporating. The fact that Superman waited to be allowed in meant that they were in for quite a long tedious conversation as opposed to the usual short heated argument. At least it meant less damage to the building though.

‘I hope you came to apologise about my secret facility in Indonesia.’ he stated with his back turned, as if talking to someone closer than 6 meters away and filled his glass again.

‘Do you have any idea how much money you cost me?!’ he went on, letting some of the anger bleed into his voice. There was no reply.

He turned the chair around and they came face to face.

Superman was still floating outside of the penthouse, hands crossed over his chest, immobile except for his ridiculous bright red cape which fluttered in the cold wind. His face looked like it’s been carved from stone, lifeless except for his two shining eyes.

He didn’t look very happy. Not like he could properly convey it though, since there was no way Luthor could hear him through the glass unless he’d start shouting.  

He took a deep breath and knocked on the window again. It crackled under his knuckle, white lines spidering across the glass.

Lex let out an annoyed groan, rising to his feet.

‘That glass could stop a missile.’

Superman at least had the dignity to look slightly guilty and he hung down his head.

Luthor entertained the idea of waiting until the alien’s patience runs out and he breaks in, but he had enough of games for today. He walked over to the balcony and unlocked the security doors to let him in.

Clark flew into the house, stopping right next to Lex.

The two of them glared at each other until Superman sighed and descended down to the floor, deflated. He shook his head, as if mocking their usual greeting ritual, and headed over to the sofa, seating himself down without any permission.

Luthor blinked in surprise. His privacy was violated again but this time in an oddly intimate manner that went against their habits. Clark usually avoided touching anything of his unless absolutely necessary, as if he was afraid it could blow up in his face. And to be honest, Lex used to have a lot of safety measures all around the house, sensors that would get triggered by a single flake of Kryptonian skin, but he had to get rid of all of that since he decided to raise Lena. He was starting to regret it now.

His archenemy was currently presently pressed flat against his sofa, fighting the urge to express his delight in a series of very awkward and out of place sighs.

‘I never knew something could be so comfortable.’ he admitted after a while and it was obvious that he’d forgotten what he even came for in the first place.

‘You grew up in a barn.’ Luthor pointed out dryly as he seated himself opposite him and Clark shrugged, seeing some truth in that.

‘What do you want?!’ he asked, irritated. He felt vulnerable without a box of kryptonite in his pocket, but it didn’t feel right to take it with him when he went to read Lena another part of Iliad before she went to sleep. His family life seemed to be filled with inconveniences. 

Superman’s eyes snapped back to focus and he cleared his throat, getting back to business. He produced a wrinkled square of paper, holding it in front of his eyes.

Luthor didn’t need to read it. It was the note he’d left in the car on the Kent farm. It wasn’t the thing that worried him the most.

‘You don’t have any pockets.’ he observed, confused.

‘That’s not the issue right now.’ Clark replied, slightly put off.

‘Do you think you could just buy Conner off like that?!’ he snapped back with all of his righteous anger.

‘It’s a gift. I expect nothing in return except for a peace of mind.’ Luthor said curtly. He was still holding his glass in one hand and took another sip from it to numb his annoyance.

‘You don’t believe in altruism.’

‘I don’t believe in making my children use public transport.’

Clark blinked twice in amazement, trying to process that.

‘Are you serious?’

Lex shrugged his shoulders and his stomach sank with the sudden realisation that he had no acceptable motivation for his actions. ‘I hate buses.’ he admitted quietly.

Apparently though, that wasn’t the thing that shocked Clark the most. It was how casually he called him his child without realising it.  

‘You tried to use Kon as a weapon of mass destruction. That’s not what a parent would do.’ Superman pointed out while closely observing his face, as if waiting for a reaction. His anger seemed to give a way to some curious hopeful notion.

‘I’m new to parenting and expressing my affection in a non-aggressive way.’ Luthor replied with a glare as if daring him to question that.

‘So you honestly care about Conner?’ Clark drew out slowly, looking him straight in the eyes with the intensity of a pyrotechnician analysing a bomb.

‘Of course not!’ Lex interjected immediately.

He felt like he was at one of those appointments with his psychiatrist again.

No, doctor Haldane, Rorschach test is really just blotches of colour. No, doctor Haldane, me ‘uniting’ my DNA with Superman isn’t an expression of my desire to have an intercourse with him, it’s a scientific experiment. I think I know a bit more about genetics that you ever will and if you repeat ‘denial’ one more time, you will one day leave the stove on and get accidentally blown to bits when you come back home to warm your lasagne. What do you mean you’ve never eaten lasagne?!

‘The entire project was an absolute failure. He turned out just like you except he had all the potential to be so much more which makes it even more annoying.’

‘His DNA doesn’t predetermine anything.’ Superman stated, puffing out his chest like he was just about to start his sermon about all the peculiarities that make people who they are and how precious each and every life is.

‘Easy for you to say, he knows how to mimic most of your powers. But don’t tell me that he never even thought about constructing a micro black hole generator.’

Clark sighed, scratching his head, and gave him a surprisingly compassionate look. It didn’t look like he was going to like what he had to say. He leaned in and when he spoke up again his voice was surprisingly soft, as if he was trying to placate him already.

‘He almost failed chemistry.’

The news hit Lex harder than he expected. He gasped, appalled.

Clark slowly nodded, reaching out to clasp his hands in reassurance before he realised that he shouldn’t appear that eager to help a person who tries to kill him on a weekly basis, especially since Lex would find a way of ridiculing him for it later.

‘How… how is that even possible…?!’ Luthor managed to say after a while with his breathing still uneven.

‘He’s not like you or me, he’s his own person, but that is exactly the reason why you can grow attached to him. Just like to Lena.’   

Lex grumbled, annoyed that Superman would bring up her name like that. He was fully aware that he now had an obvious weakness for him to abuse. He’d tried to keep the news about her minimal, hoping that Clark wouldn’t butt in and start patronising him about his newly discovered capacity for love. It was too late for that now though. He recognised Clark’s look, those gentle eyes contradicting his stern expression, the way he straightened his spine, he knew what he was about to say before he even opened his mouth.

‘There is something good in you, Lex.’ he announced, looking him straight in the eyes.

‘That would be the cognac.’ Luthor groaned, downing his glass. He was tired of hearing the same thing over and over but Clark was impossible to discourage, as usual.

‘Just admit it to yourself. You couldn’t bear the thought of our child suffering.’ he pressed on, absolutely convinced.

Luthor opened his mouth and rapidly closed it again, like a fish thrown onto a dry land. He sat the glass down onto his coffee table, unsure of what to do with his hands. He tried looking at anything other than Superman, suddenly all too nervous.

Clark seemed to have realised his mistake too, staring down at the table, lips drawn into a thin white line.

‘Our… child…?’ Luthor repeated, incredulous.

Superman couldn’t think of any reasonable reply for his slip of the tongue, embarrassed.

Lex didn’t realise that his entire project could be accurately summed up in those two words that made him feel conflicting emotions he didn’t even know existed until now. It was a discovery incredibly awkward for everyone involved and what Clark said next, trying to justify himself, made it even worse.

‘But it is our child - you made me have a kid with you. Do you have any idea how uncomfortable that was… is? I mean, he’s a great kid but explaining that to my parents…. and the JL…’ he admitted, words dripping with feeling.

Luthor realised, rather embarrassed, that he seemed to have been only focused on the act of creating a life, just because he loved the idea, and didn’t really think about what to do with it afterwards. He threw in a haphazard plan later on when it was too late and he’d slipped through his fingers. It was a big wasted opportunity.

‘Am I supposed to pay you alimony…?’ he said, more to himself than to the other man, feeling a little guilty about using him in that way. Which he had no reason to be, of course. He was the first human to figure out how to grow clones and that deserved some recognition, ethnics be damned.

‘Just… try to remember that you owe it to Conner. He should have been your responsibility. You don’t exactly have to force yourself into doing anything good, just don’t do anything bad to him from now on…’ Superman summarised, standing up. It looked like their awkward conversation was nearing its end, but he still deemed it necessary to remind him what was even considered ‘bad’.

‘…that involves mind control, emotional manipulation, stalking, and everything that even indirectly harms him in any way and no more potentially dangerous presents until this is settled…’ 

‘I think I’m smart enough to understand that.’ Luthor pointed out coldly, still feeling very unlike himself.

‘You should be, but I won’t take any chances with- .’ Clark suddenly stopped in the middle of the sentence and his head snapped to the side, eyes wide with alarm, as if he caught sight of Doomsday heading their way. Lex felt his heartrate jump up, mentally going through the list of LexCorp security measures before he registered that Superman was still standing there, immobile.

With a sigh, Luthor realised that this was something much, much worse.

‘Okay Lena, that’s ten points down.’ he called out to the empty hallway in an authoritative voice, hands on his hips.

Lena’s head poked out from behind a flowerpot, pouting. ‘But dad!’

‘You know the rules. No eavesdropping on superhero business.’ he reminded her coldly and she hung her head dejectedly and slowly walked over to them, barefoot.

She looked up at Superman, as if trying to guess if he could be persuaded to stand up for her. Clark scratched his head, embarrassed that she heard most of their conversation without him noticing, but he didn’t have the heart to be strict with her when she made those puppy eyes at him.  

‘I thought you were asleep.’ Luthor admitted with yet another sigh, keeping his stern expression.

‘I heard you talking.’ Lena whispered, tugging at the rim of her pyjamas nervously.

‘I have a brother…?’ she asked, confused.

‘I’ll explain it to you later, it doesn’t change anything. Go back to sleep.’ Luthor commanded angrily, raising his voice. Lena jerked back, both guilty and scared, but hesitated to leave. Her eyes darted back to Superman.

‘That means you’ll never talk about it again. Dad, please.’ she spoke up in tiny voice, knowing all too well that her father always felt bad about scaring her like this. She didn’t have to do much acting though. He could get pretty terrifying when it came to ‘business’ but all of that was rarely aimed at her.

Luthor’s face went soft for an instance but it quickly froze over again.

‘I will tell you tomorrow.’

‘Tell me now!’ she shouted out, frustrated.   

Lex just crossed his arms over his chest, determined on keeping his secrets safe, even more so when it touched his daughter.

Superman seemed to have a different idea, unable to refuse her help. It only took one tearful glance from Lena and his mouth started moving on its own.

‘Yes, you have a brother.’ he said softly.

‘A half-brother.’ Lex corrected curtly, glaring daggers at him.

‘His name is Conner Kent… or Kon-El.’ Superman went on and pulled out his wallet. He offered Lena one of the small photos he kept there, smiling at her.

She looked at his giant outstretched hand with an air of uncertainty, glancing at her father. His face was completely white as he gritted his teeth, but it seemed that his fury was addressed only at Clark. She gingerly took the small square of paper.

It was a photo of a teenager hugging his white dog with a wide grin that showed all of his teeth.

Lena frowned at the picture with obvious displeasure.  

‘He’s old.’ she noted, disappointed, and wrinkled her small nose.

Lex huffed, trying not to smile. The tension seemed to have left him and he pulled her to his side, ruffling her hair. He loved all the faces that she could pull in a manner of seconds.

‘Why isn’t his hair red if he’s your son?’ she asked, daring to look up at him.

‘He didn’t turn out very great.’ Luthor admitted with a grin, only half-joking.

‘He looks just like Superman.’ she observed, comparing Conner to Clark.

‘But you can’t have a kid. You’re both men.’ she went on, looking at them intently as if she was trying to catch them lying.

Superman cleared his throat. Well, this evening was getting more and more awkward. Lex looked over to him with a scowl. This one was on him.

Clark leaned down to Lena with a sigh, forcing himself to remain calm and composed.

‘You see, when two men don’t get along well, one of them might decide to… magic a son out of their… hairs?’ he managed to say without groaning, cheeks red. There wasn’t any reasonable way to dumb genetics down enough for children to understand.

Lena looked straight at him, impassive, and just lifted one of her small eyebrows as if doubting his sanity. With a frown she turned to her dad as though expecting an explanation that actually made sense.

‘I grew Conner in Cadmus labs out of our combined DNA.’ Lex summed it up dryly, not bothering with the birds and bees talk.  

‘Oh, I see.’ Lena, to Clark’s utter surprise, seemed very satisfied with the answer.

‘Can I visit him?’ she asked immediately, eyes shining.

‘No.’ ‘Yes.’ Lex and Clark said at the same time before turning to one another with a frown.

‘Yes.’ ‘No.’ they tried again with the same result.

Superman finally decided and smiled at Lena.

‘You can come visit him any time you like.’     

‘Yeah, I know Conner.’ Jon nodded absentmindedly while he rummaged through Lena’s bag to fish out all the things she requested.

‘He’s on the farm with grandma and grandpa. And Krypto.’ he remembered with a grin. He really wanted a dog too.

‘And is he… nice…?’ Lena asked, a little unsure. She still had the photo that she got yesterday stashed safely in her pocket, but every time she wasn’t directly looking at it, it felt like she might have misjudged him or like he’d changed into a monster.

‘Kinda. But he’s always at school or helping out the Titans. And he has a girlfriend.’

‘And he hates my dad.’ she added with a frown, propping her head on her elbow.

‘Every superhero hates your dad.’ he pointed out helpfully.

‘Because they don’t know what’s good for them.’

Jon started sharpening her pencils with utmost care, ignoring her thoughtful expression.

‘So we’re related.’ she announced after some reflection.

Jon moved on to cleaning her rubber, but he paused to look up at her, puzzled.

‘How are we related?’

‘You’re a half-brother of my half-brother.’

‘But both of our parents are different.’ he protested.

‘So are the parents of you and your cousins.’ she demonstrated the fault in his logic, obviously very pleased with herself.

‘What is your dad to me then… Uncle…? Uncle Clark….’ she tried how the words felt on her tongue.

‘I’m not calling your dad uncle Lex.’

‘Of course you aren’t. That’d be suicidal.’

‘You’re right.’ Jon mused, already thinking about something else.

He turned to Damian sitting two rows behind them, at the desk that used to be his desk too. He was glaring at them the entire time, grinding his teeth with the effort to appear completely indifferent.

‘Can’t… we go sit next to Damian? He’s my friend too…’ Jon offered carefully, turning back to Lena.

She threw Damian a single look and shook her head resolutely.

‘I think I officially hate him until he apologises. We’re staying here.’ she declared and went back to drawing the Luthor and Kent family trees that only ever connected in one spot, Conner Kent.

‘Can we move to him if he does apologise?’

‘Hmm.’ Lena seemed to give it some thought.

‘Of course not. I don’t see why I should tolerate him.’

Jon sighed, looking back at his friend with a sad expression. He had to endure, Lena asked him to be his friend and he wanted to help her out. She didn’t have any other friends. But neither did Damian. For all his posturing and gloating he only had Jon, and he was only ever good at pushing people away.

Lena tore him out of his reverie with a nudge.

‘You’ll stay here, right? You’re my friend. And maybe cousin.’ she said slowly, carefully judging his reaction.

‘I’m your friend, Lena.’ Jon agreed, smiling at her.

‘Great. Can you sharpen me the blue crayon again?’

‘What’s with the long face, Damian?’ Bruce called out as he saw his son running up the stairs, eager to disappear into the safety of his room right after coming back from school.

‘I’m practising the ‘brooding bat’ in case you croak tomorrow.’ the boy snapped back, not bothering to turn around.

‘I heard what happened in the school on Monday. Jon took the fall for it.’ he went on, easily catching up to him.

‘He’s a son of the fucking Superman, nobody cares.’

‘Language.’ Bruce reminded him in a firm tone that could stop Bane in his tracks. Damian just rolled his eyes.

‘You’re not getting along?’ he asked, brows furrowed.

Damian averted his eyes, but he did start grumbling, liberating all of his pent-up anger.

‘It’s all because of Lena. I bet she’s feeding him kryptonite right now. He’s so stupid.’ the boy spat her name out as if it was a skin disease, frowning all the while.

‘I take it she’s not as cute and harmless as Clark told me?’ Bruce taunted him with a grin but the rest of his body tensed up on an instinct. According to his sources, Luthor killed half of the articles that mentioned her before they were even released, and the only reliable information about her came from five years ago, when he’d announced her existence to the world. A daughter he had with a woman whose existence seemed to have started nine years ago and ended shortly after Lena’s introduction.

‘She’s a freak! She managed to beat up Jon, I bet Luthor’s doping her with something! …And she’s smarter than me!’ Damian complained loudly, only hesitating with the last part since it hurt his pride like nothing else.

‘And now she’s glued to Jon all the time. She’s totally planning something!’ 

Bruce gave him an understanding look, patting his shoulder.

‘Talk that over with Jon then. Or make some new friends. It’ll go easier if you lighten up a little.’    

‘Ugh. Thanks for being useless.’ the boy groaned and headed for his room resolutely.

‘I’m here if you need any-’ Bruce started only to get interrupted when the doors slammed shut with a loud thud.

‘He’ll… grow out of it…’ he muttered to himself, turning around on his heels. His head was full of all the snippets of information collected on Lena Luthor and the wheels kept turning faster and faster. The girl lifted up a soda machine. 700 pounds. Clark thought that she came from one of Luthor’s disastrous meta-human affairs. It was obvious that he would have her mother killed either way and if she’d been a spy sent against him that might explain the lack of information on her.

He slowly descended to the cave, lost in thought. The batcomputer found nothing on her. He opened the file on Lena instead. There was her birth certificate, which could have been falsified, some banned articles about her behaviour in school, a wild tabloid speculation on her mother, and a page about the NASA design competition that she won despite the fact that she was too young to even compete in it.

He enlarged one of the photos. The journalists seemed to have caught Luthor off guard as he was exiting the LexCorp tower, walking hand in hand with Lena who gave them a shy smile.

He zoomed in on her face. The expression seemed incredibly familiar. It was how Clark Kent would smile during the gala evenings.

He did a doubletake, rubbing his eyes.

It had to be a coincidence.

Making a boy out of two sets of male DNA was difficult enough, but to somehow grow a girl out of them was simply impossible.

Still, all of his instincts were telling him the exact opposite.

He compared her photo to Clark’s and Jon’s pictures. There was a certain resemblance, except for her almond eyes, high eyebrows, and the hair. Red hair was a recessive trait. He wouldn’t know if the El bloodline was a carrier, not without a prior research, but if Lena was really half-kryptonian, Luthor might have spent years trying to perfect her.

But it would explain the LexCorp inactivity in its quasi-legal projects. Luthor’s been buying out all the kryptonite he could get from the black market with nothing to show for it. No spike in activity, no new weapon prototypes, no new direct attempts at Superman’s life. Even the secret facility that got targeted by Ra’s al ghoul and destroyed in the subsequent fight with the JL seemed abandoned. Luthor was laying low.  

It was enough to convince him.

Bruce rubbed his eyes again and pulled out his phone.

He dialled Lex’s number and tried to think back to the time when he first met him at the university years ago. When he could pretend that he would grow out of trying to control everything around him. He put on his ‘careless billionaire playboy’ face at the second ring.

He finally picked up.

‘Hi Lex, how’s the business!’ Bruce chirped in, not bothering to wait for any confirmation that it wasn't his secretary who picked up the phone.

‘I’m busy Bruce.’ came the cold reply, but that only spurred him on to talk louder and more energetically. 

‘Aren’t we all? I’m super busy right now too, but how about I fly over to Metropolis real quick. I could be there in two hours. You see? It’s all about time management, I could give you some tips.’

‘I wouldn’t do that if I were you. Airplanes tend to explode around here.’

‘Ha! You’re a funny guy Lex! But think about that, it’s been years since I came over for a visit. I haven’t even seen that cute daughter of yours!’

There was only silence on the other side, but Bruce imagined that he could hear Luthor gritting his teeth.

‘What was her name? Lily, Lucy… Luna…? I swear you got a thing for Ls. Kinda like that Kent reporter you like. You know that he dated both Lana Lang and Louis Lane? What the hell is up with the names?!’

‘Bruce…’ Luthor started in a tone that made your blood run cold but Bruce went on as if he couldn’t take the hint even if you punched him in the face with it. It was one of the things he loved most about this alter ego.

‘How did you even score the kid in the first place? I mean… you’re not the type to go around the bars, knocking up random ladies… Unless they’re totally out to kill you, right? That does it for you?’ granted, Bruce Wayne didn’t make a good investigator, but it did seem to irritate Lex, which was a definite plus.

‘I really don’t have the time for this.’

‘Don’t hang up! I’m sorry, okay? I swear I’m not judging you… except for that Brainiac business, that was fucking weird. But hey, how’s the girl?’

‘What’s the entire point of this conversation?!’ Luthor cut in, still trying to keep his voice level.

‘You tell me! I mean, I almost forgot you even had a kid! It’s like somebody went around erasing her from existence! I bet she’s a redhead. Damn, redheads are cute! I remember your kid photos, the-‘ 

‘Stop with the act or I will hang up.’

Bruce felt the smile slip from his face. His voice suddenly lost all of it’s previous warmth and cheerfulness and reverted to the one that felt the most natural to him in this situation. He’d let Batman handle this.

‘You went ahead and cloned him again. What’s the master plan this time?’      

‘I don’t know what you’re talking about.’

‘Don’t play dumb, Lex.’

He could hear him shifting in his chair. He’ll get up and start pacing around like he always does with important calls. There was still no answer, which was as good as an agreement.

Bruce felt a sinking feeling in his stomach.

‘You can’t raise a child. You’ll slip up and end right behind the bars again. It’s in your nature.’ Bruce pressed on, hitting him where he knew he’d be vulnerable.

‘I will raise her right. I don’t care if it doesn’t happen to be your kind of right.’ Luthor snapped back but he quietly added, almost as a request:

‘Don’t tell him.’

‘I can’t guarantee you anything.’

‘Would you look after her?’

The sudden change of Luthor’s tone surprised him. It was the same tone he used when he told him about Clark, all those years ago, except this time, it lacked the usual bitterness. Even worse, this had to be the first time that Lex planned any countermeasures in case of his failure.

‘I don’t want her dragged off to Cadmus.’ he went on, breaking the tense silence.

‘He would take care of her.’ Bruce brusquely dodged the question.

‘He would dump her on his parents. He’d keep his distance.’

‘He was right, something is up with you.’ he frowned, genuinely concerned.

If Luthor was playing him, and the probability of that wasn’t exactly low, then he’s recently mastered some new tricks and they were in for a ride. On the other hand, if he really meant what he was saying, then it might end up even worse. People didn’t get through to him often, but when they did, Luthor would move heaven and earth for them any time they asked.

‘It doesn’t influence my judgement.’

‘Is that why you threatened my son?  Because you weren’t influenced in the slightest?’ Bruce retorted sharply. It was hard convincing himself to stop bugging his kids when there were maniacs on the loose who would beat them to death, laughing. It was still a bad habit though, he'd admit that.

‘You better keep him on a tight leash. I don’t make empty promises.’ 

‘I know you good enough. Funny thing is, Superman genuinely believes that he’ll drag you to the good side.’

Lex went silent for a while as if he struggled with finding the right answer.

‘He was born delusional.’ he finally grunted, hanging up.

Bruce sighed and leaned back in his chair, not feeling the slightest relief. This will either turn up really good or really really bad.

Maybe he should check if Damian hasn't managed to burn down the house yet.

Chapter Text

‘I’m ready.’ Lena announced, smiling happily.

‘Ready for what?’ Lex mumbled, still half asleep, from where he was lying on the sofa, legs sticking out over the armrest. He couldn’t sleep last night because Bruce fucking Wayne knows now so he spent his afternoon burning and burying everything related to the project that got him Lena. He didn’t get much sleep the night before that either because of Superman’s surprise visit and the talk about ‘their children’. It gave him nightmares.

The last four days in general were exhausting. Two of the trinity had their eyes on them, he half expected Wonder woman to show up any minute and criticise his parenting, and now Lena woke him up, dragging her pink suitcase into the living room just as soon as Mercy got her home from school.

‘Ready for the Kent farm.’ she announced.

‘Enemy territory.’

‘But you agreed to take me there today!’

‘In two hours.’

‘Dad!’

‘Okay, okay, I’m getting up.’ he groaned, resigned to his fate. This was all Superman’s fault anyway, interfering with his parenting. Granted, Lena would have been sulking in her room for days just to force him to tell her something about Conner, but if he survived that, their lives would go on without the Kents for a while longer. And he wouldn’t ever have to return to that decrepit hellhole that was Smallville.

He finally sat up and let out a yawn, running a hand down his wrinkled shirt.

Lena gave him a wide smile, eyes shining with anticipation. She wouldn’t stop bouncing around the sofa, too excited to keep still.

Lex couldn’t help smiling back. He looked down at the suitcase, quickly declaring ‘It isn’t a sleepover. You’re fine with the essentials.’

‘But I packed all the stuff you told me to pack if I ever leave the house. Three days’ worth of food and water, GPS, compass, whistle, flashlight, first aid kit, some paracord, lighter, money, change of clothes, bulletproof vest, pepper spray and a knife… oh, and my phone…’

 He blinked in surprise. Of course, he wouldn’t have imagined that he’d let her out into the dangerous world a mere week before. Kents were many things but they were certainly harmless, annoyingly so.

‘Well, I might have said that… you can take it with you then…’ he yawned again.

‘Mercy’s waiting for us in the car.’

Why was he even surprised by that?

‘I need to change.’

‘And tell them we’re coming over.’ Lena suggested.

‘Ugh, no. I’m not doing that.’ Lex shuddered with disgust. It was enough to just picture their faces and he got queasy. He still remembered how they looked at him when Clark brought him home for the first time, like he was a particularly dirty stray dog starved for love. Superman still looked at him that way sometimes, like he just needed a hot bath, cuddles and a vaccine. It was beyond humiliating.

‘But what if they’re not home when we arrive!’

‘All the better.’

Lena pouted, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

‘Just so you know, if that happens it doesn’t count as a visit and you owe me a bucketful of cookie dough ice-cream.’

‘It’d be well worth it.’ he complained weakly before Lena grabbed him by the arm and dragged him up.

‘C’mon dad, you promised.’

It took two hours to get to Kansas in their jet and Lex dropped on the bed and fell asleep before they even took off. Lena got bored of watching the tv and shook him awake as they were landing. She’d managed to eat up the packet of hardy candy he got her to help with the pressure in her ears, and her tongue and lips were bright green. 

‘How long till we get to the farm?’ she asked when they were going down the airplane stairs, looking around with eyes like saucers, as if she’d landed on Mars and not in Kansas.

Lex’s body was still warm with sleep and he shivered in the cold air, walking slowly since his body was still rigid. ‘…just an hour.’

‘Ugh.’ Lena groaned, hanging her shoulders. She hated waiting. He smiled at her, half to console her and half because he was glad for anything that’d dissuade her from coming here again.

Mercy finished unloading the car from the jet and drove up to them. She seemed to be taking the ‘enemy territory’ seriously because she changed out of her usual tight short dress, instead going for a Lexcorp uniform with a bulletproof vest and two guns hanging from her shoulder holsters.

It made Lena anxious and she took Lex’s hand, trying to keep a neutral face.

‘It suits you.’ he stated, walking to his assistant. She gave a curt nod and started loading the luggage into the trunk. There was another suitcase aside from Lena’s, a simple black one. She looked up at her father, frowning.

‘Is that kryptonite?’  

‘Don’t worry about it. I won’t kill anyone unless I have to.’ he gave her a peck on her forehead and ushered her into the car.

‘It’s in two leaden cases.’ Mercy pointed out suddenly, looking him straight in the eyes.

‘Good thinking.’

Lena fastened her seatbelt with a particularly sour expression, glancing at her dad nervously.       

‘Is he dangerous?’

‘Everyone who can bend steel with their bare hands is dangerous. But you don’t need to worry about anything.’ he patted her thigh with a reassuring smile.

Mercy made one last check, finally got into the car, and started the engine.  

‘Well, you’re finally meeting your brother.’ Lex went on, trying to cheer up his daughter. She smiled back, a little sheepishly.

‘Half-brother.’ she corrected him softly.

‘Half-brother.’ he agreed, a bit ashamed that he let the truth slip out that casually.

‘Can you braid my hair, dad?’

‘Stop it, Krypto! Shut up!’ Conner shouted at the dog for the third time in two minutes, throwing his phone on the bed in a huff. It’d been barking nonstop since a car pulled over at the farm and he was just about done with it.

‘I can’t let you out, you’d fetch the mailman again!’ he shouted at the superpowered animal, making wide gestures as if it could understand his annoyance from them since it didn’t seem capable of reading it on his face.

Krypto suddenly stopped and his ears perked up. He sniffed the air and let out a low growl, scratching at the doors.

Conner watched him with growing unease. He’d only seen him act like this around Luthor.

‘Don’t tell me that he came over today.’

He could hear Ma and Pa Kent opening the front doors to welcome their guest, but their voices came out rather tense.

‘Clark told us you might come over but we didn’t expect anything that soon.’

‘If I’d known that I’d get something better for dinner. It’s just mac and cheese tonight.’

‘It’s quite alright mrs Kent, we don’t plan on staying long.’

Conner gritted his teeth. He’d recognise that cold calculating voice anywhere. He swore under his breath and pushed the dog away so he could open the doors. Even though it’d seemed so eager to get out, now it just sat down on the threshold and started licking its paws.

 ‘Let’s go Krypto.’ Conner urged it on but it just looked up at him with a disinterested expression.

‘Not even for the dinner?’

‘You were right. I’m sorry. Good enough?’ he asked brusquely, stopping at the foot of the staircase. The dog seemed to have forgiven him because he slowly got up and followed him, still acting slightly offended.

‘At least wait until Clark gets here… We got apple pie.’

‘Luthor.’ Conner groaned just as soon as he got down to the kitchen and could finally get a look at the intruders.

His eyes landed on Mercy first before they jumped to Lex. He stood out in the old room like a sore thumb with his expensive custom black suit and that horrible purple and green tie. His head snapped around when he heard him speak and he gave him the customary glare, pulling the girl at his side closer to him protectively.

Conner blinked in surprise, he didn’t even notice her before, too focused on the potential danger. Her long red hair was tied into two fishtail braids and she wore dotted leggings with red dress on top. She firmly held onto a pink suitcase, as if she was ready to make a run for it at any second, and his sudden entrance didn’t exactly seem to calm her down. She backed into her father and he pulled his arms around her.

Conner could see her scrutinising him, brows furrowed in thought.

‘You must be Lena… didn’t want to freak you out….’ he noted lamely, scratching his head.

Krypto didn’t seem to share his opinion. He stopped about a meter from them, ears pulled back and teeth bared. Suddenly, he caught a whiff of an entirely different, familiar smell. He looked at Lex and then back at the girl, obviously conflicted. She was a Luthor but smelled like a Kryptonian.

He slowly creeped to her, keeping his head down as if he expected a blow.

‘Call your mutt off.’ Lex ordered, alarmed, watching its every move. He wouldn’t allow anything with sharp dirty teeth anywhere near her.

Mercy took a gun out of her holster in one swift movement and aimed it at its skull.

‘He likes kids. You don’t need to worry.’ Conner quickly pointed out, a little offended that he’d think his dog would ever harm anyone. Well, except for him and the other villains but that was a special case.

Mercy gave him a sharp look as if considering how much of that statement was a lie.

Krypto stuck his head out to sniff Lena’s hand and his wet snout touched her skin.

She giggled and petted its big head before Lex could stop her. The dog leaned in and opened up its mouth in what seemed to be a goofy smile. He wiggled his tail at an astounding speed.

‘It’s adorable.’ she let out a delighted squeal, hugging that mess of white hairs.

‘Alright but don’t put your face near him… ‘

Luthor’s order was instantly ignored and he just stood at the side uselessly, itching to drag her away from that petri dish of transmittable diseases.

Mercy put her gun away with a sigh.

Krypto started to lick Lena’s cheek and she broke out laughing while her father let out a tired groan, pacing around.

‘I told you not to stick your face to him!’

‘it’s alright dad.’ Lena called back carelessly, over the moon.

‘Why don’t you show her to your room?’ Ma suggested, looking at Con, who just shrugged his shoulders in resignation. He didn’t really know what to do with kids.

‘Good idea.’ Lex pulled Lena up from the floor, and she let out a groan in protest when he started brushing off some of the white hairs that stuck to her clothes.

Krypto didn’t move away from her, nudging her hand until she started petting him again.

‘Can we get a dog, dad?’ she asked, beaming.

‘Over my dead body. C’mon honey.’ Lex said curtly, tugging at her arm.  

‘You could leave the suitcase here.’ Martha offered, seeing how Lex refused to part with his. The pink suitcase was already forgotten in the middle of the kitchen.

He grudgingly handed it over to Mercy who accepted it with a curt nod.

‘Should I wait here?’

Luthor just grunted in reply and nudged his daughter to follow Conner up the stairs. The house hasn’t changed in all these years, Clark age 10 still beamed at him from the same old birthday photo he saw on his very first visit here and it made his skin crawl.

‘So, that’s my room.’ Conner admitted a bit shamefully as he opened the doors to the small area. It was crammed with old furniture that, with the exception of the bed and the table, seemed in disuse, judging by the thick layer of dust decorating it. Most of Kon’s things had been deposited on the bed, from his clothes and school bag to a mug of tea balancing on a pile of students books.

Lena made a sour face, tugging both corners of her mouth surprisingly low.

‘It is… kinda…’ she managed through her disappointment and Conner gave her an understanding smile, shrugging his shoulders.

‘Well, it beats labs.’

That didn’t fail to make her feel bad. Alright, maybe it was just that she’d gotten used to a higher billionaire standard, there were definitely worse places to live, but she imagined it’d look more… hero-ish…

She looked up at her father for the confirmation but he wasn’t paying attention. He looked around the familiar room, jaw set and eyes glazed over with unwelcome nostalgia that latched onto him like a leech.

‘Dad…’ she whispered insecurely. Lex turned to her with tense expression.

‘Go on. I’ll give you one hour, then we’re gone.’

‘Okay.’ she replied, attempting to will down the anxiousness that entered her system. She tried to convince herself that she only imagined the fear in his tone.

Conner sat down on his bed, pretending to be relaxed and unbothered but he grit his teeth so hard it hurt.

‘It’s… okay…’ Lena gave her final evaluation, walking over the threshold.

Kon shrugged his shoulders again. The two of them looked at each, guessing who’d dare to speak up first.

Lex didn’t seem to mind the awkward silence because it perfectly fulfilled his expectations. It’d be all for the best if Lena felt uncomfortable and uneasy around the Kent family, after all. He leaned onto the doorframe and tried to stop eyeing all of Clark’s old things that still lay untouched on the shelves.

Krypto seemed to have a different idea. He picked up one of his toys, an old slobbery tennis ball, and dropped it into Conner’s lap. His owner got the cue and showed the ugly thing to Lena.

‘Wanna play fetch?’ 

Chapter Text

Superman found that getting to Smallville took unbearably long. It was just urgent cases at first. Just as soon as he left Metropolis he flew back in to stop a bank robbery and two car accidents, but then his ear picked up the meowling of a cat stuck in a tree and it spiralled from there. He busied himself with every little thing, the fate of the world seemed to depend on every ball that would hit glass or just went out of bounds. When he realised that he’d been stalling for time he took few painful moments to compose himself.

There was no point in avoiding it. It’s already been two hours since ma called him that they had Lex Luthor in the house. Either he would finally act according to his expectations or he’ll try to wreck the place and kill everyone in it, in which case he’d better get going. Sure, he was afraid that he’ll be disappointed in Lex again like all the other times in the past, but there was no point delaying the inevitable. He took a long deep breath, careful not to suck in any nearby trees, and blasted off up into the air at the speed of sound, leaving a small crater in his wake.

After a short flight across the state, he landed in front of their barn. The farm still stood there, unchanged, and the roof tiles shone bright red in the setting sun. Ma and pa were in the living room, chatting comfortably.  

He homed in on the familiar sound of Lex’s heartbeat. It was slow and regular, relaxed.  

Clark froze when he saw his archenemy seated on the roof below the windows to his room. Their old spot. He forced himself to move again and silently floated right next to him. His presence went unnoticed.

Luthor was entirely focused on Lena, all red in the face, running around in the corn field chased by Conner and Krypto. Her laughter carried to the house and it made one of the corners of his mouth rise upwards unconsciously. He looked almost peaceful with most of the usual tension absent, one arm leaning on his knee.  

It’s been years since Clark saw him like that. It was like facing a completely different person. He fidgeted nervously, unsure how to start. Lex still hasn’t even noticed him sitting right beside him. He swallowed the lump in his throat.

‘Didn’t expect you to really show up.’ he started slowly, expecting to startle him.

To his credit, Lex didn’t shoot up or jerk back from the sudden company and only tensed up, eyes wide.

‘I had no choice because you had to go and meddle into my business.’ he hissed at him in defence, partly to get back at him for the scare but also to deny that he’d been enjoying his time here.   

‘I take it Lena is as persistent as her father.’

‘You have no idea.’ Lex announced gravely. Sometimes, especially during arguments, she was as pig headed as her other father and then she got almost unbearable.

Clark gave him a wide, unsuspecting smile, two rows of white teeth sparkling.

‘I’m glad she and Kon are getting along.’

Lex just nodded. He couldn’t deny that he felt the same way. It was unsettling that she’d gotten this close to the Kent family but… she was obviously having fun and it forced him to change his mind about it. Just a while before, Conner carried her on his shoulders all around the farm before he dropped her into the hay in the barn and tickled the life out of her. She laughed until she ran out of breath.

Lex never did anything like that. He made sure to shower her with affection but he was well over running around the penthouse like mad… or like a Kryptonian half clone project, apparently. It looked like she’d been missing some physical activity and the games aimed at the simple minded though.    

When he looked back at Superman, he was surprised to find that he managed to change out of his costume into a tattered cheap mess that was probably his casual clothes. It seemed unbelievably rude to just sneak out of a conversation, even if only for a second.

Before Lex could reproach him for it, however, Clark turned around to face him, ignoring his disapproving expression. After going over it another hundred times in his head, he willed himself to say his offer out loud.

‘I… propose a truce.’

‘…you what…?!’ Lex snarled back in disbelief.

‘A truce, Lex. Since you took a family leave from your criminal career, you could make a difference. We could use you up in the Watchtower.’

Luthor’s face hardened as his heartbeat soared up. He glared at him, offended on a very personal level that Clark would suddenly act as though he’d forgotten their long history together. It didn’t matter if he had to restrict himself to legal means, he would still ruin some lives for profit and Superman was still in the way. It should be simple enough to understand for him even with the supermuscles taking place of the brain tissue. This ‘truce’ just meant that Clark deluded himself into believing he’d switch sides and needed a safeguard to keep that illusion of peace between them intact for his own sake. If he knew he could come and go as he pleased with no real threat to his life, Lex would lose all the semblance of control he had over him. If he gave him just a small leeway Superman would stay sprawled on the couch in his penthouse, teaching Lena about moral codes or something equally horrendous.

Clark was still waiting for the reply, watching his reaction with a tense face. Lex looked straight into his impossibly blue eyes as he leaned in to make things absolutely clear.

‘I’d rather die than humiliate myself like that.’

‘Lex…’ Clark coaxed him gently, fully expecting that sort of answer. It wasn’t ‘Luthor’ for a while now, just ‘Lex’ and it was fairly disturbing.

‘You should think it over, the things are a little different now. We could use some regulations for the visitation hours and whatnot.’ he added smugly.

Right in that moment, Conner caught up with Lena and grabbed her by the waist, lifting her up as she wildly kicked the air, laughing so hard her sides hurt. Krypto ran around them in circles, barking and wiggling his tail. The noise was loud enough to hear up on the roof.

Lex glared at Superman with rekindled hatred.

‘Using a kid against me. Very noble.’ he hissed. Clark hang his head down.

‘You know that that’s not what I meant. I just don’t want you to isolate Lena because you’re too scared someone would take her from you.’

‘Do you think you know how to raise her better than me?! You will not involve yourself with her anymore! You already have my son, isn’t that good enough for you?!’

Lex hesitated a little before saying that out loud because he didn’t feel all that good associating himself with him that openly, not after that last awkward conversation in the penthouse. He did have half of his DNA though and he could have been so much better if somebody didn’t go and make him a hero. Besides, he couldn’t help his urge to antagonise Superman.

‘Oh, please Lex! You treated Conner like a weapon against me! What was I supposed to do with him?! Let him run around with abilities he didn’t even understand?! You’ve tried to ruin his life too many times!’ Clark retorted with a certain bitterness in his voice, exasperated that he wouldn’t let him lead a normal conversation for a change.

Back in the field, Conner stopped tickling Lena and his head darted back to the house. She used the distraction to land a kick in his shin but he didn’t even register it, intently focused on something she couldn’t perceive.

‘You dropped him in Nowhereville to rot! He had so much potential, I would ha- ’ Lex replied in similar fashion, balling his fists. He was cut off by Clark’s cold voice.

‘You wouldn’t. You didn’t care.’  

He jerked to a stop mid movement, opening his mouth as if to say something biting but in the end, he just shook his head. He rested his chin on his hand and looked at the horizon, away from the piercing blue eyes.

He would care. He’d trick him, use him, hurt him a plenty but never kill him because he was his. He wanted a son, somebody who’d be smarter than him and stronger than Clark without all the hypocritical values, a ruler for the next generations. Sure, the project failed spectacularly, but he wouldn’t let him waste away like this.

Clark let out a sigh, exhausted from their constant bickering.

‘I don’t ‘own’ Conner, and you know I’m not against you seeing each other. If you really mean no harm.’  

‘And Lena? Will you keep your distance?’ Lex asked pointedly and Kent let out another sigh.

‘I’m sorry Lex, I don’t think that’s an option. You’ve finally found somebody to care about aside from yourself and it’s my responsibility to make sure it works out since I took that away from you the first time.’

‘You’re still hang up on something that happened 16 years ago?’ he pointed out, knowing too well that he wasn’t any better.

Clark gave him one of his wide smiles, eyes gentle. His cheeks were uncharacteristically pink.  

‘You know, if you hadn’t left Smallville when you did, I’d have taken you to the prom instead of Lana Lang.’

Lex forgot how to breathe and when he finally remembered, he almost choked on air.

Clark looked away from him in embarrassment, fighting with himself not to run away from the scene. He spotted Conner staring at them, mouth hanging wide open.

‘You’re very subtle at eavesdropping.’ he pointed out quietly and started silently cursing himself. Of course Kon was listening when they’ve just been talking about him.

It took Lena and a well-aimed tennis ball to the head to get him to snap out of it. His mouth clicked shut and he yelped in pain as his attention snapped back to her. He mumbled a quick excuse, still slightly out of it. Krypto sat down with head tilted to the side, listening intently.

Luthor finally stopped coughing and he managed a single ‘What?!’, face and neck bright red from the oxygen deprivation.  

‘My psychiatrist said it would help to… talk about that…’ Clark murmured almost as an excuse, scratching his knee nervously at such a speed that his hand was nothing more than a blur.

Lex opened his mouth few times to try and come up with anything to reply, like a fish washed ashore, dying a slow agonising death.

‘You…’ he mouthed finally with the wheels in his head were turning so fast he felt seasick.

‘You have a psychiatrist…?’ he muttered, desperately hanging on to the one thing that made sense to him. He forced himself to concentrate as he stared at Clark in a mixture of wonder and disbelief.

‘How did we even get there…?’ he managed, confused. He had a vague recollection of an argument of sorts, of the safe and routine hostility between them.

He looked at Lena only to find her already looking in his direction, her wide eyes darting from him to Clark and then Conner. She desperately wanted to be let in on the going-ons. He could see her lips moving in what was probably a plea to Kon who just shook his head resolutely. The boy turned around and headed back into the house with Lena following his every step.

‘I thought you were the same.’ Clark said suddenly, after what felt like hours of torture, and it seemed more like a question.

‘You know I was.’ Lex said, feeling incredibly idiotic for no obvious reason.

Clark felt a sudden impulse to lean in and put a hand on his shoulder, an urge for some sort of contact, but he thought better of it since the kids could still see them from the field. He chose the worst place and time to do this, it seemed.

‘It’s not like I’ve forgotten all the horrible things you did… I just…’ he looked straight into Luthor’s green eyes and he felt cold sweat running down his back.

‘I just think that…’

‘Dinner’s ready!!’ Martha shouted out from the kitchen, interrupting whatever it was he wanted to say.

Lex darted up in obvious relief, all too eager to use it as an excuse to get away from this awkward situation. He crawled back into the room through the window and almost ran downstairs. 

Clark stayed sitting on the roof for a while longer, thinking about psychiatrists and advices with a tense expression on his face.

The dinner went by in an eerie silence. Lena kept glancing up at Connor who stared questioningly at Clark who tried his best to avoid looking at Lex who refused to lift him eyes from his plate. Mercy refused her seat at the table and tried to guess the situation from her place in the corner of the room, clutching the briefcase with kryptonite, just in case someone snapped. Ma and Pa Kent gave each other worried looks. Martha took a deep breath and tried starting a casual conversation, turning to Lena with a nervous smile.

‘So, honey, how do you like the house? Did you see the cows?’

It was the right choice. She did know that something was up but her attention immediately turned entirely to the fun things she got to experience today. Her face lit up.

‘Yeah, Kon showed them to me! They’re so big and they stink! But their eyes are nice.’ she gave in to the urge to share all her adventures, talking quickly in high excited voice.

 ‘I wanted to drive the tractor but it was broken. I could fix that but you don’t have a circuit tester.’

‘It’s okay, Jerry said he’ll come around to have a look at it.’ John supplied, more to Clark than to her, because his last repairs almost set the barn on fire. Lena ignored that comment and went on with her monologue.

 ‘And then I ate a corn ear. It was good but green. Is that bad…?’ she asked no one in particular and when she didn’t get an immediate answer she chattered on.

‘And then Kon flew me up on the silo. It was real small compared to Lextower but you coul-‘

‘You put her up there?! Fifteen meters high?! She’d die if she fell!’ Lex suddenly butted in, glaring at Conner angrily, forgetting all about Superman and his ridiculous confessions as his protective instincts kicked in. It had to have happened when he went for a toilet break and he hated himself for that stupidity.   

Conner was surprised by that sudden reaction and, seeing that he was facing the wrath of a man specialising in killing Kryptonian and also somebody who might qualify as his biological parent, decided to limit his answer to shrugging his shoulders.

Lena went through a similar shock because she just realised that this was one of those dangerous things she shouldn’t do and she was gonna lose a lot of points for that, but she was too proud to admit there was any real danger.   

‘I’d survive that.’ she announced, crossing her arms over her small chest. She was super strong so it’d make sense for her to be super durable too, but it wasn’t that she wanted to find that out the hard way.

‘Even if you got a single scratch, it wouldn’t have been worth it!’ her father countered, dead serious.

‘I got her, there’s no way she’d slip!’ Conner added pointedly, offended that he, a part-time saviour of the earth, apparently couldn’t be trusted with keeping a single child out of harm’s way.

‘There’s no need to panic, Lex. Conner had it under control. We climbed the thing with Lana when we were ten.’ Clark joined in, trying to calm them down.

‘You mean the Lana that you had to go to the prom with.’ Lex supplied helpfully as the bits of their earlier conversation resurfaced in his mind.

It had an instant effect as Clark closed his mouth obediently and looked away in embarrassment.

‘Oh, please, not this shit again.’ Conner groaned.

‘Language, son!’ Pa Kent reprimanded him immediately but not before Lex’s head snapped to him in a look of pure bewilderment.

 ‘You heard that?!’

‘Hello, super-hearing. Don’t worry, I couldn’t regret it enough.’ Conner replied immediately. Lena glared at him because he’d resisted all her interrogating methods so far and then turned to Lex, pouting.

‘What were you talking about?! C’mmon, dad!’ she interrupted whatever retort he had planned and grabbed his arm in what she thought to be gentle but urgent embrace, but which would leave some bruises regardless. When feelings got involved, she lost all control over her strength.

Ma Kent quietly stood up in the awkward silence that followed, trying to smile.

‘I’ll bring the apple pie.’ she muttered, gesturing to her husband that they’re having an emergency meeting. He quickly followed her to the kitchen with a frown.

Nobody noticed their absence except for Mercy who was busy boring herself to death in the corner.

‘Please, dad!’ Lena tugged at her father’s arm again and finally got a reaction out of him.

‘Business things.’ Lex replied coldly, glaring at Clark in a way that communicated ‘do not say a thing’. Apparently, he hadn’t gotten the point across clearly enough because Kent went and said another stupid thing that would doubtlessly have Lena bugging him for the next two months.

‘I thought your dad could work with the JL.’

Lena’s jaw dropped down and her eyes lit up in excitement.

‘The justice league…?’ she asked quietly. She looked up at her dad who seemed ready to bury mr Blabberman under three tons of kryptonite and her smile fell.

‘But doesn’t that mean dad would have to do… good stuff…?’ she asked, wrinkling her small nose in obvious disgust. Lex felt a sudden surge of pride that somehow mellowed this horrible Kent experience for a moment. But he was still seriously considering the construction of mount Kryptonite.

‘Yes, it would.’ Clark replied, amused by her reaction.

‘But we’d lose a lot of money… and all the fun stuff in the laboratory…’ Superman questioningly raised one eyebrow at Lex who just shrugged his shoulders.

‘The absolutely legal projects are positively hilarious.’ he muttered, deadpan.

Lena didn’t seem to notice as her small head computed the change of such a magnitude as her father switching sides.   

‘Would dad have to wear a costume…?’ she suddenly asked, worried.

‘Because he’s got a tummy.’ she whispered with a grin, leaning in.

Lex let out a particularly tormented sigh, massaging the bridge of his nose.   

‘I do not.’ he proclaimed, once again perfectly humiliated in front of his mortal enemy. Yes, he did have some problems coming back to his exercising regime now when he was a father and maybe he should stop buying the chocolate cakes, but it just was few extra kilos spread evenly-

‘You kinda do though.’ Conner said casually into the tense quiet of the room, chasing the few macaroni left on his plate with his fork.

Clark opened his mouth to protest but Lex stopped him with a particularly evil glare.

‘Don’t say another word.’

‘I was just-’

‘Do. Not. Say. Ano-‘

‘Now who wants a slice!’ Martha barged in with a plate of her famous apple pie, completely unaware of the conversation she just interrupted.

Lex let out another pained groan. He was never ever coming back here again.

Chapter Text

‘Dad.’

‘Dad.’

Lex finally turned his head away from the window of the jet and the dark flat fields of Kansas underneath them and gave Lena a questioning look. She stood right next to him with an unusually serious expression.

‘What is it honey?’ he asked distractedly, mind still focused on the thing, that naturally had nothing to do with Superman, that he’d been contemplating only a few seconds ago.

‘Did you forget something?’

A quick shake of the head.

‘Are you mad?’ she whispered, tense.

‘Do you mean… in general?’ he joked, raising one of his thin eyebrows. Lena gave a surprised chuckle and shook her head again, a bit more relaxed.

‘Come here.’ He smiled as he wrapped his hands around her, pulling her closer. Her expression was still unreadable.

‘Mad about what?’ Lena looked away nervously.

‘Mad about the tummy thing.’

His expression turned thoughtful.

‘You broke rule 24: Never tell the supers anything about our personal lives or give out personal information unless it’s a misdirection or a part of some other complex strategy.’

‘I know, dad.’

‘I could categorize this as undermining my authority and a treason in alerting enemies to a potential weakness.’

‘Treason?’ Lena managed, shocked. That sounded like it’d be at least 50 points off.

‘It was a joke, it’s not like you can’t fit into your warsuit anymore.’

Lex’s face went white. He actually had no idea if he could, it’s been years since he last put it on, mainly because it used kryptonite as the power source, and it was calibrated to his exact body shape from that time.  

Lena had the audacity to laugh at his dismayed expression.

‘You can’t?!’

‘Of course I can.’

She leaned in with a sly grin.

‘Maybe I can get some points for pointing out a security risk?’

Lex chuckled, glad that she learned how to hold her own in negotiations. If she goes on improving he’ll never win another argument again.

‘Or you should be glad that I won’t deduct any for the silo.’ he pointed out, eyes narrowing. He wasn’t going to forget that any time soon.

Lena couldn’t help but feel disappointed that she couldn’t turn the situation around, but she still gave her best smug expression. If you can’t win, at least try not to lose, her dad said in his lessons on tactic, and she didn’t, even against Lex Luthor who was the toughest guy on the planet. Then again, she knew he always took it easy on her.

Lex brushed the strands of hair from her face. All of the running and rolling around in hay did a number on her hairstyle, he thought with a frown as he pulled out another twig entwined in her braids.

It seemed that their conversation was over, and she couldn’t suppress a yawn, exhausted. Sitting down in Lex’s lap, she laid her head down on his shoulder, ignoring all his efforts to make her presentable again, and closed her eyes. She went out like a light, with a small smile on her sleeping face.

Mercy came to check on them after few minutes, footsteps too quiet for human ears to perceive. She walked in a bit closer so that they could discuss his schedule for tomorrow in hushed whispers.

Lena mumbled something about dogs from her sleep, slurring the words together.  

‘I’m going back to my training regime.’ Lex ordered a bit hesitantly after discussing their earliest project and Mercy gave him that knowing look but didn’t comment on it any further.

‘Should I cancel your appointment with doctor Haldane?’ she asked instead, rolling the pen in her fingers.

Luthor seemed to give it some thought, looking out of the window again. He didn’t think he’d get away with re-scheduling it for the fourth time.

‘No.’ he said with resignation.

‘Keep it.’

‘Mr Luthor.’ Dr Haldane called out when he entered, with a big smile on his old wrinkled face.

‘Dr Haldane.’ Lex acknowledged his existence with about the amount of disdain he’d use if he had to address a tick. He sat down in that awkward chair, dusting off his trousers.  

‘It’s been a month since our last session, I’m glad to see you again.’ the man gracefully skimmed over the fact that what was supposed to be a weekly session recommended turned into a rare occurrence and his smile widened.

Lex just lifted an eyebrow, not bothering to respond with the exact opposite. He learned long ago that he’d be just wasting his breath in antagonizing him, or that it might even lead to some particularly stupid questions he’d have to answer.

‘So, how’s Lena?’  

‘Good. She’s well. She’s flying to the international mathematical Olympiad in South Africa next month.’

‘She takes a lot after her father, doesn’t she?’

‘She isn’t a corporate psychopath with a narcissistic personality disorder.’ he pointed out threateningly. He found that description a little offending.

Dr Haldane looked down at his desk with a frown. That was an excerpt from the very first paragraph of his notes that he always made sure to lock in his bottom drawer. He’ll need to rethink his security, maybe add some cameras.

‘I think our professional relationship could use a bit more of trust on your part. And a respect for certain boundaries.’ 

‘I think our relationship could use some better handwriting.’

‘I understand that you feel vulnerable without any control of the situation, however, in interfering with the treatment, you’re only hurting yourself. But tell me, is there a reason why are you uncomfortable talking about Lena’s parentage? We’ve been through this before.’

‘Well, batman didn’t know before.’

‘I see. And he decided… to keep it secret?’

‘Just to have some leverage on me in case he needed it. Why doesn’t he have to go into your office?! Did you see what he’s wearing?’ Lex groaned, tapping his foot.

‘I’d like to help as many superheroes as possible, but I’m afraid that I wouldn’t be able to tell you even if he did receive treatment here.’

Here dr Haldane cleared his throat.

‘Let’s talk about superman.’

Luthor gritted his teeth, taking a deep breath. His least favourite part of the session that just so happened to take up its entirety.  

‘Try to imagine that he does find about your daughter. How does that make you feel?’

‘Homicidal.’ it was his usual answer to the majority of questions.

‘Just homicidal…?’

‘Threatened… homicidal…’ Lex repeated apathetically, looking at the painting hanging on the wall opposite him.

‘How would Superman feel?’

‘Angry?’ he guessed with a shrug.

‘How about betrayed? Hurt. Disappointed.’

‘It’s all the same. He’d just fly over and wreck the building, nothing I can’t pay for.’

‘But don’t you feel that you have formed a bit of trust over the years of your inactivity in the crime business?’

‘No, I think that I have ‘trust issues related to my troubled upbringing’.’ he retorted, using bits from his psychological evaluation again. He didn’t bother correcting the good-doctor on his criminal inactivity, it’d be ridiculous if he got locked up for tax evasion of all things. It would be less ridiculous to get locked up for his precious unethical experiments though.

‘I still stand by that statement. But let me give you another hypothetical situation. You started a countdown on a doomsday machine, thousands will day if Superman doesn’t stop you…’

‘I don’t go below million.’ came a cold correction.

‘…but he’s unable to. The fate of Earth is at stake, he’s been kidnapped to another dimension or incapacitated. He can’t make it until the countdown.’

‘Thank you, doctor. Imagining the look on his face when he realizes that really warms my heart.’

‘I’d think so. But I do think you’d stop the machine.’

Luthor’s mouth snapped shut and he gave doctor his best business look, the one that made sure you get to bury your whole family unless you say what he wants to hear.

‘There’s nothing to be ashamed of, it’s a common occurrence in long-term villain-hero relationships.’ the man quickly added with a placating gesture.

‘Over the years, winning becomes a secondary goal and you focus on the game instead. I’ve seen it happens to many of my other clients with a background similar to yours. Good nemesis is hard to find, after all.’ he obviously loved talking about the subject.

Luthor sighed, straightening his tie.

‘Now that I know how I’m supposed to feel, what do I need to say to get you off my back?’ he asked directly, since his patience was wearing thin. He knew he’ll be spending the rest of this evening convincing himself why it wasn’t worth it to kill this particular person.

Dr Haldane seemed to consider the answer, arranging the folders on his desk, seemingly unaware of, or perhaps immune to, all of all the murderous intent directed at him.

‘It’s more of what to do. I’d like you to try and be honest with yourself, honest to the people around you. Talk about your feelings.’

Lex felt realization wash over him like a bucket of ice water. His heart skipped a beat.

‘Mr Luthor…?’

‘You’re right. Maybe I should start right now. I actually feel betrayed.’ he announced sweetly, glaring at him.

‘Interesting. Would you mind telling me why?’

‘Since when is Clark Kent your client?’

The doctor finally stopped smiling. The worried look suited him better, he knew the situation was serious enough to make Luthor want the answers at all costs.

‘He came to me few months before you did.’ he admitted slowly with a long sigh.

‘After the divorce.’ Lex supplied on his own. He couldn’t remind himself enough, it improved his mood every time.  

‘You had him tell me about the prom.’ he pointed out accusingly, getting lost in the heat of the moment. Only after dr Haldane failed to hide his surprise did he realize that he just freely gave out additional information. Damn Superman and his stupid habit of riling him up to the point where he can’t think straight even when he isn’t actually around.

‘He did talk to you about that? That explains why you’ve been so irritable today.’

Luthor was just about to show him how irritable he could be if he tried but the doctor kept droning on about Clark’s personal life, busy thinking about the accomplishment.

‘That’s amazing, maybe he’s already talked to miss Lane too. He’s making a great progress towards letting someone new into his life.’

Lex stopped in the middle of the typing a message that’d, coincidentally, have mr Haldane’s neighbourhood torn down if sent and slowly, slowly lifted his bald head up.  

‘Excuse me…?’  

Chapter Text

‘Sir?’ Mercy decided to break the awkward silence that hung between them ever since her employer came back to the penthouse. She wasn’t all that good at guessing people’s emotions, but with all the pacing around and the amount of alcohol consumed per minute, she’d say that mr Luthor was anxious and if there really was something worrying the greatest mind on the earth, it might just spell doom for the ordinary people.

‘Hm.’ Lex replied thoughtfully as he stopped walking for a minute and took to glaring out of his windows, as if the clouds personally offended him.

‘You seem… upset.’

‘Nonsense.’ he almost dashed back to his bar and poured himself another glass.

‘Bring me another bottle.’

‘That’d mean you’d go over the drinking limit you set for yourself.’

‘Don’t joke around, why would I even do that?!’

‘So you wouldn’t get drunk enough to start telling your daughter the truth.’ she deadpanned, raising one of her perfect eyebrows.

‘Oh, that was… actually a smart… very smart limit…’ he mumbled back, and his angry outburst disappeared just as quickly as it started.

‘Decrease the volume some more next time. Drinking sets an incredibly bad example…’ he ordered, shamefaced, remembering all of the books about parenting he went through to teach himself how to act around Lena since the parenting style of his father left much to be desired.

‘Of course sir.’

‘Hm.’ he nodded before his thoughts returned back to the same subject as before and he let out an annoyed groan, throwing himself into his chair. He stayed seated for hardly a minute until his body itched to move again and walk the problem away. He shot up from the swivel chair and it swung back around, armrest hitting the desk with a loud bang. 

‘Are you alright sir?’ she pressed the issue, concerned.

‘Is it something about Superman?’ she gave an educated guess and Luthor heaved a mighty sigh before nodding with the resigned air of a man forced to choose which noose he’d get.

‘He is prepared to let someone new into his life.’ he said mockingly while pointing at the window in a gesture of pure helplessness.       

‘That is…’ Mercy tried to come up with the response that was expected of her but Luthor was far from done.

‘He made a fool out of me the entire time!’ he started pacing again with furious urgency.

‘He’s even more stupid than I thought if he thinks I’ll just let him run loose. I’ll… I’ll…! Call Perry White, he’s having a radical change of staff!’

‘Sir, with all due respect-‘

‘He wouldn’t fire him. Damn it!’ he ran out of breath and had to stop his speech, both physically and emotionally exhausted.

‘What am I supposed to do?’ he asked, surprisingly softly, turning around to look at her. It took her by surprise.

‘You… want him to stay with you…?’ she managed, trying to find a single reason for the theatrics. She thought they’ve gotten over the denial a while back, but he never failed to amaze her.

‘Yes! No! Oh god, no! I don’t want to have anything to do with him!’ he fired back in a quick succession, wrinkling his forehead.

‘I just want him to stay alone for his entire life. Yes, that would be quite… sufficient…’ he crossed his eyes over his chest, regaining some of his composure.

‘Are you going to stay alone your entire life too?’

‘No. Probably. That’s entirely unrelated to what we’re talking about.’ Lex waved his hand dismissively. With a flinch, he finally noticed that the doors to the office were open. They seemed to have been open for a while.

‘Dad.’ Lena poked her head in, pretending that she’d just arrived.

‘Where in the labs do you keep the metal cutting saw?’

‘What do you need that for, honey?’ Luthor asked, walking to the doors, embarrassed.

‘I thought I’d get started on my robo-bear of doom.’ she admitted shyly, looking down at her feet.

‘Will it have lasers?’

‘Yeah, three. Wanna see the plans?’ she looked up anxiously, searching for any sign of his approval.

‘Of course.’ he smiled fondly, petting her head. She’s going to rule the world when she grows up, he was sure of that.

‘I’m so proud of you.’

Lena turned bright red and lowered her eyes, unsure how to keep her calm after a praise like that. She hasn’t even shown him a single page yet.

‘I know, dad.’ she murmured, embarrassed, as she looked away again.

Mercy gave her one of her polite almost-smiles from where she was standing next to the table.

‘What were you talking about?’ she asked, concerned, suddenly remembering that there was a situation.

‘Just… work.’   

‘Oh my god!’

‘Yeah.’

‘This is amazing!’

‘Totally.’

‘Now my life finally has a meaning.’

‘Aren’t you overreacting? At least a little?’ Conner carefully asked as he got into the car, raising one eyebrow.

‘Not at all.’ Tim breathed out, not bothering to stop caressing the dashboard with an expression of endless reference.

‘Where did you get this?’ he whispered, trying and failing to contain his excitement.

‘I just woke up one morning and it was here. Courtesy of my genetic donor.’

‘Luthor gave you this?!’ Tim made a visible jerk, eyes darting around.

‘Did you check if-‘

‘No explosives, kryptonite, sophisticated traps, bugs or anything. Superman spent an entire hour trying to find anything shady.’

Tim relaxed again, leaning into his seat. This time, it was his friend that he was analyzing.

‘What’s going on? I heard that he was here few days ago.’

‘Apparently his daughter wanted to see me real bad.’

‘You’re kidding.’

‘Nope. She’s got him wrapped around her finger.’

‘Are you sure that it wasn’t just a part of his plan?’ Tim narrowed his eyes, trying to come up with all the possible outcomes of that visit.

‘Like… maybe, it’s Luthor, but it really seemed like he had no idea what he was doing here. The entire thing was super awkward… I mean like, he called me his son and then said something like Superman stole me from him… that’s like… ugh…’ Conner shuddered at the memory of that entire conversation. He was still playing with the key in his hand, trying to find a single place where he could put it.

‘Almost like he’s… I dunno…’

‘Baby crazy?’ Tim offered suddenly and Conner gave him a questioning look.

‘…I meant more like becoming a real human being but yeah, that too…’

There was a moment of tense silence as both of them stared through the window at the inside of the barn while Kon toyed with the keys.

‘You have no idea how to start this thing, do you?’

‘Nope. I swear the keys were in the ignition when I found it, but they just won’t go in this time.’

‘Oh my god!’ Tim almost squealed as if that was somehow another proof of how amazing the car was.

‘You really got no clue what this is?’ he asked and Kon just shrugged his shoulders with a sigh.

‘The most user-unfriendly car on the market?’

‘It’s a Lexcorp prototype of a new line of cars using the salvaged Apokalyptos technology to direct the energy from a Motherbox to the engine. It’s decades ahead of any other vehicle on Earth!’

‘Okay.’

‘Just okay…?’

‘C’mmon, it’s Luthor we’re talking about. The stuff he does blows people’s minds on daily basis. In both senses of the word, probably.’

‘It can teleport.’ Tim said casually and grinned when he got the expected reaction.

‘OH MY GOD! Are you fucking serious?! He gave me a teleporting car?!’ 

‘Yep. Your mum is the best. Unless he’s killing people, of course.’ he pointed out dryly, fiddling with the controls.

‘Damn!’ Conner breathed out, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel, giddy with excitement.

‘Do you know how to get this thing moving…?’

‘Do you know how to drive it?’

‘I know how to drive cars. How hard could that be, really?’

‘Hi. What do you want?’ a girl’s singsong voice came from the other end. Conner’s eyes darted back to Tim who was sitting next to what was left of his car, rummaging through his utility belt.

‘Lena? I just- is Luthor home?’ he asked sheepishly.

‘Who’s there?’

‘That’s me. Conner. You know, from the Kent farm.’

‘I wouldn’t forget my brother.’ Lena reminded him dryly.

‘So… your dad…’ he repeated impatiently, kicking up sand.

‘He’s out. Why, is there some crisis? I can help!’

‘Nah, not really I just… did a thing… I thought your dad might fix it…’

Tim made a sour face and fished out something that might have been a mini bat-screwdriver. There was no way he could get this heap of scrap metal moving.

‘Did you kill somebody?’ Lena suggested from the other side nonchalantly.

‘No! God no! How did you even come up with that?!’

There was a moment of awkward silence, probably as she considered what lie she could get away with, until Conner ran out of patience and spoke up again.

‘Anyway, will you tell him to call me back when he gets… back?’

‘Okay.’

‘Alright, bye?’

‘Bye- wait! I really wanted to ask somebody something, but Mercy won’t hear of it and…’

‘I don’t know anything about birds and bees.’ he replied all too quickly and Tim gave him a funny look. He probably still had no clue who his friend was talking with.

‘I got an A from biology. It’s just dad is… like really angry right now? Because of your dad…’ Lena muttered.

‘Isn’t that his normal mood?’

‘Well yeah, but he’s kinda weird now. And he keeps talking about him when he thinks I can’t hear him.’

‘Lena, you know…’ Conner sighed, walking back to the car. He really really didn’t have a clue what she was getting at but he didn’t have the heart to cut her off.

‘I swear I’m not eavesdropping! Well, most of the time. My ears are just that good.’

‘Who’s that?’ Tim asked with a frown, peeling the paint of the hood of the car with a batarang. Conner peeled the phone of his ear with a disgruntled face.

‘My sis.’ he guessed.

‘Lena Luthor?’ Tim asked in bewilderment.

‘Are you still there?’ a small voice called out, confused.

‘Yeah. Listen, I don’t really have a clue what goes on in his head so,… I can’t help you, okay?’ Kon quickly replied. His friend let out a long sigh, packing his things.

‘Just hang up, you’ll have to fly this crap home. Me included.’

‘I know it’s just… I think dad likes him.’ Lena finished shyly and Conner’s focus snapped back to her again.

‘Likes who?’

‘I’d call dad, but he just loves Luthortech. I wouldn’t get out of the house for a week.’ Tim went on with his explanation until his friend cut him off with a quick gesture. There were more pressing matters at hand.

‘Who are we talking about?’ he inquired with a sinking feeling in his stomach. He did not want to hear anything about this again.

‘My dad likes uncle Clark. That’s why he’s always arguing with him and keeps staring at his photos.’ she finished in a hushed tone, as if sharing a military secret.

‘That’s… Maybe, I-

‘Do not interrupt! I’m getting to the point.’

‘Sure.’ Conner managed, a little startled at the authoritativeness of the reprimand.

‘So, would you help me help dad make your dad like him back? You know, so that dad can be happy.’        

‘…what…?’ he squeaked out, voice an octave higher than usual.

‘Seriously, I gotta be home in thirty minutes or I’m officially declared missing.’ Tim warned, blissfully unaware, and sat down into the sand again.

‘What…’ Conner repeated with the same dumbstruck expression on his face.  

Chapter Text

‘Dad, can I go to the amusement park with Conner?’ Lena asked suddenly, dashing into his office.

‘Conner?’ Lex repeated, raising one of his eyebrows.

‘Conner Kent. Your other kid…?’

‘Was that his idea?’

‘No, I just thought we could hang out like siblings.’

‘Then you can hang out here where I can see you.’ Luthor reasoned without bothering to lift his eyes up from the reports.

‘C’mmon dad! I haven’t been to one in forever!’

‘Two years.’

‘That’s more than a forever then!’

‘I’m too busy right now, we’ll go tomorrow.’

‘But you don’t have to go anywhere, you’d stay here. Conner’s gonna watch out for me.’

‘No, no, no… I’m not leaving you alone with a superhero.’ he made sure to pronounce the s word with as much disgust as possible.  

‘Dad! Pretty please!’

‘No.’

‘You already let me stay at the farm, you told me he’s harmless. I’m sure he’d rather lose an arm than let anything happen to me.’

He really would. He couldn’t find appropriate reply to that.

‘I really want to go. Pretty please?’

‘Alright, just wait until I get changed.’

‘But you don’t-‘

‘At least I’m going to drive you there.’

Lena gave a sigh, as if annoyed, but just as soon as her father turned her back to her, she flashed a toothy grin. Manipulating people was even easier than she expected.

‘Okay honey, where would you like to go first?’ he asked just as they entered the park, completely ignoring Conner who’d already been waiting for them at the gates.

‘The roller coaster!’ she answered immediately, dragging her dad along to where she could see the enormous structure towering above them.

‘By the way hi guys.’ Conner greeted them, trying his best not to sound frustrated as he zapped in right in front of them.

‘Hi bro.’ Lena acknowledged his presence quickly.

‘See any familiar faces?’ she asked quickly, scanning the crowd.

‘Actually, Jon is at the roller coaster.’ He replied, trying to sound nonchalant.

Luthor’s eyes narrowed.

‘What is he doing here?’

‘It’s an amusement park, kids come here.‘ Conner explained dryly, exchanging looks with Lena.

Lex watched them, trying to force a connection. He suddenly felt a cold shiver run down his spine.

‘He’s not alone, is he?’ he asked quickly, starting to understand the trap that he’d gotten himself into. They were rounding the corner just before the attraction and he felt dread settling in his stomach.

‘Uhm, no?’ Conner replied, scratching his head anxiously. Very helpful.

Finally, they got a clear view. It took a while to spot Jon in the crowd and when he did, the person accompanying him was already looking their way.

‘I didn’t think we’d bump into each other that soon again. Glad to see you’re getting along.’ Clark greeted them just as soon as they got within the earshot.

Luthor made a particularly sour expression. He tried keeping his daughter away from the Kents and that’s how that ended up. He really needed to reconsider his parenting choices.

‘What are you even doing here?!’

‘Jon hasn’t been to an amusement park before.’ Clark explained with a wide smile, looking down at Jon who was trying to hide behind him.

‘Excellent.’ Lex commented, voice cold.

‘Are you riding the roller coaster too?’ Jon asked quietly, poking his head out.  

‘Yep. It looks pretty boring though.’ Conner assessed the structure with all its deadly twists and turns that made Luthor sick just from watching them.

‘You’re going too?’ Clark asked him, looking slightly concerned.

‘Of course I am.’ Luthor bit back. What if Lena got scared and he wouldn’t be around to comfort her? He couldn’t afford any mistakes.   

It’s been a while since he’s been on one of these things but he’d done a lot of manoeuvring in his Lexo suit and never had any issues. He’ll just strap in with no option to escape and let it play out without any way of controlling it. He’ll be alright.

‘Are you okay dad?’ Lena looked back at him, surprised at the colour of his face.

She just got out of roller coaster car, still red in the face with throat sore from screaming but smiling nonetheless when she noticed her dad’s face had somehow managed to turn green.

‘Of course honey. Go… go play with… with Jon. Buy some…’ here he paused to force himself to swallow back the wave rising from his stomach, but still obstinately trying to keep a straight face.

‘…some cotton candy… I’ll be right back…’ he waved at Conner to drag them away as he turned on his heels and made a beeline for the nearest bathroom. Lena watched him go, alarmed and confused, but the only reaction she was capable of was a quiet ‘okay dad’ before her brother walked her to the nearest stand.

 Jon followed right behind them, albeit slowly, looking over his shoulder every few seconds. His dad was still standing in front of the roller coaster.

‘Stay with Kon, I’ll be back quick.’ he promised before he zapped to where Luthor had disappeared to.

Jon looked up at Conner and gave him his lost puppy expression.

‘Don’t worry, I can handle this. I’m a superhero, alright?’ the teenager said in what he considered to be his best calming voice.  

‘But you’re twelve.’ Jon noted, looking up at him.

‘We don’t talk about that. Now, who wants to… shoot a goldfish…?’ Connor asked, looking around nervously.

Both Jon and Lena gave him their best judgmental looks.

‘You’ve never been to an amusement park before, have you?’ Lena pointed out, trying to adopt the tone dad used to humiliate his employees.

Connor leaned down to her, already regretting he ever agreed to go here with her.

‘No, I tend to spend my time saving the world, freaking out that all of my hair will fall out, and getting killed.’ he replied deadpan and turned them around so that they were facing the stands again.

‘Let’s try that one.’

‘Lex…?’ Clark called out after entering the closest public bathroom. There was no reply save for the very obvious sound of retching from the third cubicle. He gave a sigh, not surprised in the slightest.

‘Why did you even go on the roller coaster if they still make you sick…’ he complained half-heartedly, not expecting a reply. Back in the Smallville it took him three rides to even admit that it was a possibility and it seemed like he was still stubbornly pretending that he had no issues with them whatsoever.

He soaked one of the paper towers in cold water, opening the doors to the cubicle.

Luthor didn’t seem very happy about the fact that his archenemy was here to witness this.

‘I will gauge your eyes out and sprinkle red kry-’ here he had to pause to empty his stomach again since his body seemed to be determined to throw up all its contents.  

‘You’ll feel better afterwards.’ Clark assured him and pressed the wet paper to his sweating forehead, ignoring the threat.

‘Towel would have been better.’ he admitted, seeing how the water trickled over his eyebrows and down his nose.

Luthor looked up at him and Kent gave him a soft, caring smile, which seemed to have exactly the opposite effect on him than on the rest of the Superman-loving population. His eyes narrowed into slits and he was about ready to waste few minutes of his life uselessly trying to snap his steel neck before a sudden realization hit him and his head whipped back, eyes darting around the bathroom.

‘Where’s Lena?!’ he asked urgently, forgetting about the wet ball of paper pressed against his forehead.

‘It’s alright, she’s with Conner.’

Lex’s eyes widened in horror. With the person who put her up on the silo. Sure, very safe.

‘Get back there immediately and…. just…!’ he gripped the rim of the toilet bowl again, going white in the face as another random spasm hit him.

‘I’m sure that he can handle keeping an eye on them for a few more minutes.’

‘Because there’s no way you’d be a magnet for disasters, is there?!’ Luthor snapped back angrily. He was exhausted, his darling daughter might be walking into a robot invasion right about now and Superman was here with that concerned face, playing nurse. Try and seduce him now, sick in a toilet cubicle, he hissed at the image of Mercy who happened to emerge somewhere in the back of his head with all her stupid advices. Besides, he reminded himself stubbornly, he wanted to have nothing to do with Superman.

‘You did cause half of them.’ Clark pointed out and his use of past tense made Luthor want to be sick all over again.

He stood up slowly, knees wobbling, and leaned against the wall for support.

‘Where are they?!’ he asked immediately.

‘At some game stand.’ Clark replied, casually looking through the bathroom walls.

‘I think you’re a little over-protective.’ he added with another grin, reaching out to steady him but his hand got quickly slapped away.

‘I can’t swoop in to save her at the last minute.’ Lex pointed out coldly and slowly walked to the sink. When he heard Clark flush the toilet, he realized that this will go on to become one of his worst days. Well, he’ll have enough time to feel humiliated once he finds Lena.

He drank a bit of the cold tab water and it splashed around happily in his empty stomach.

‘I’ll get you something to wash the taste down.’ Superman offered and immediately disappeared, unable to not help him.

Come to think of it, he’d even catch a bullet for him, if need be. Luthor filed that information under the ‘1001 possible ways to kill mr red underpants’ for future use. It seemed way more feasible than convincing him to let his guard down around him after he’d invented the cure for cancer and shooting him in the head. There was no way that’d work.

He barely managed to wash his face and Clark re-appeared holding two big cups of shaved ice, one red and one blue.

‘Typical.’ Luthor murmured, glaring at the drinks. He dried himself with a paper towel. 

 ‘I got you wild cherry.’ Clark announced, looking way too pleased with himself, and forced one of the cold cups into his hands.

‘Hm.’ Lex managed. He didn’t have any derisive remarks ready for the situation.

‘I haven’t had shaved ice since…’

‘I bought you one back in Smallville. I know.’

Luthor made a face. He actually forgot all about that, but all things considered, those were the only conditions under which he’d drink something like this: Clark Kent conditions.

He examined the beverage with a particularly sour expression, holding it to light. In the awkward silence that followed, Clark but crossed his arms over his chest in a decidedly Superman manner, nervous.

Luthor shot him a look.

‘What are you waiting for? You can’t leave them with the Conner person.’

‘Conner person. It was ‘our son’ last time.’

‘I don’t recall.’ Lex retorted quickly but his cheeks went slightly pink from all the embarrassment that that single memory brought with it. He’d decided to use the word only when the boy deserves to be called a Luthor. He wouldn’t let himself get carried away again.

Clark didn’t find that in the least surprising and let out a defeated sigh.

‘Of course. Hold onto that cup.’ he advised, throwing a hand around him.

‘Don’t you-‘ Lex started before their surroundings changed as if somebody switched the channel.

‘-beam us there!’  he finished, inhaling sharply. He could feel his stomach hitting the side of his ribcage and gave Clark one of his special murderous looks.

‘Unbelievable.’ He added, taking another deep breath.

‘And we’re here.’ Clark said quietly, trying to cover up the fact that he once again forgot how much his archnemesis hated being taken places against his will at neck breaking speeds. He half-suspected that it had something to do with the fact that he always took him to prison this way.

Lex immediately shook his hands off and headed for the stands in that special purposeful way which seemed to render the ground under his feet his very own territory. From time to time he’d glance at the cup in his hand and frown at it, as if it was the symbol of his defeat.

Conner spotted them first, probably eavesdropping on them again. Lex made a point of glaring at him for it. He clearly took after his other father in every way that mattered.

‘Hey guys. You were sick?’ the boy asked when Luthor stopped right next to where he was leaning onto the side of the shooting gallery.

Lex gritted his teeth.

Definitely eavesdropping.

‘No. I’ve just decided to review the contents of my stomach again. Just in case.’ He replied dryly.

‘Okay.’ Conner responded, trying not to roll his eyes.

‘Dad.’ Lena emerged from behind him with the expression of a kicked puppy.

‘You were sick?’ she repeated incredulously, teary eyed.

Conner worded a silent ‘oops’ before he turned around under the pretence of looking after Jon who was just handling a potentially dangerous gun. Except Clark was already over there, ruffling his hair.  

‘It was nothing honey.’ Lex tried comforting her with the little air he had left since she ran over and grabbed him in one of her bone-crushing hugs.

‘But you’re never sick! Or hurt!’ Lena reasoned, concerned.

So he’d been playing the indestructible father. Oh, the irony.

‘It was nothing.’ He repeated when she lifted up her big eyes to him questioningly.

Jon apparently hit the bullseye and Conner’s cheering interrupted them. Jon started babbling excitedly and Clark’s replies alternated with chuckles.

Lena glanced around to make sure that nobody was paying attention to them now before she stood up on her tiptoes, leaning closer to his face to whisper ‘Do you get sick from roller coasters?’ with serious expression, as if she’d uncovered his one weakness.

‘Judging from the evidence, I’ll have to say yes.’ he forced himself to admit.  

‘Why did you go with me in the first place then. That was stupid.’ Lena lectured him, still not letting him go.

If anything, she squeezed him even tighter.

‘Honey, co- could you let me go already?’ he offered with a strained smile. He could feel his sides bruising up.

‘You should have told me.’ she went on with obvious discontent, still not realizing the strength she was exerting.

‘I think your dad is in a lot of pain right now.’ a voice pointed out gently somewhere from behind her and Clark’s hand landed on her shoulder, startling the both of them.

Both Conner and Jon turned to look, confused by his sudden disappearance when he was just there a second ago.

‘Wha- oh!’ Lena gasped and immediately let Lex go, acting as if she got burned. She stared at him, eyes wide with terror.

‘I didn’t… I’m sorry dad.’ she quickly added, panicked.

‘It’s alright honey. It was just a little too tight.’ Luthor repeated, giving Clark a look of utter disapproval. ‘A lot of pain’. The last thing he needed was to make her afraid of herself.  

Clark didn’t back down and went as far as checking him with his array of special visions which, far from being flattering, only served to irritate Lex some more.

 ‘You just need to learn to control your strength.’ he noted firmly but made a point of giving Lena one of his reassuring smiles afterwards.

Lena gave a single nod, biting her lip, and refused to look at them.

Jon entirely forgot that he was in the middle of a competition and scuttled over to them quickly, unable to contain his curiosity about the seemingly serious situation. Conner followed right behind him, giving Lena a questioning look.

She noticed her new audience and dashed behind a nearby bench where she hid her face in her sleeves. She was crying quietly, and her little shoulders trembled.

Luthor was at her side almost immediately but she shied away from all his touches until he gave up and crouched down next to her, helpless.

‘Amazing job.’ he hissed at Clark furiously, trying to make himself feel a little better.

Kent sucked in a breath, at loss of what to do.

 ‘Is Lena hurt?’ Jon asked in alarm, looking up to his dad.

‘She’s alright but she almost crushed Lex’s ribs.’ Clark replied honestly.

Lex wanted to spare Lena even another minute of this embarrassment of being out in the open like this, but he couldn’t exactly pick her up and carry her to the car like he’d do normally so he satisfied himself with contradicting Clark who got him into this mess in the first place.

‘Please, it was nothing.’ he bit back angrily.

‘Yeah, he’s a sturdy bastard.’ Conner joined in and his comment earned a surprisingly angry look from Clark.

‘He is though.’ he insisted grudgingly, crossing his arms over his chest.

Clark went over to Lena, ignoring all of the death-threats Luthor sent his way. She spotted him immediately and her eyes, dry but still swollen, were trained on him.

‘It’s alright, Lena, I went through the same thing.’ he started softly.

‘Not the same thing.’ Luthor mouthed quietly, trying to push him away.

‘I can teach you how to handle it.’ he offered.

‘Do you mean it?’ she asked quietly.

‘Of course.’

Lena slowly nodded, looking him in the eyes, and stood up.

‘You’re going to be alright.’

She threw herself at him and gave him a quick hug, squeezing him with all his might which turned out to be quite a lot for a girl of her size.

‘How about a blueberry shaved ice?’ he changed the topic, offering her the cup that he was still holding in his hand.

‘I’d rather have the one dad has.’ she admitted quietly, quite calmed down.

‘Of course honey.’ Lex immediately agreed and gave over his drink.

She even let him lift her up into his lap on the bench, slurping on the cherry flavoured ice with a single-minded focus while her dad gently brushed her hair from her red face.

Clark collapsed onto the bench right next to them and Jon hauled himself up on his knee, looking over to Lena worriedly.

‘That happens to everyone, you know.’ he started softly.

‘Dad breaks handles all of the time. When he was angry he punched the wall so hard our roof fell down.’ he added.

‘That was long ago.’ Clark added, trying to shush him. He’d destroyed half of the house before the divorce was over without even meaning to and he was still ashamed just thinking about it.

‘But you’re still normal.’ Lena complained, giving him a tired look. Jon still had to manifest his powers and it was totally unfair.

‘You’re a Luthor, of course you’re stronger.’ Lex pointed out with a straight face and only earned a raised eyebrow from Clark and a groan from Conner.

‘Tell that to your other kid.’ he muttered, walking in a circle around the bench before he finally decided to sit down next to his other genetic donor.

‘We all make mistakes sometimes. Like teleporting cars into trees.’ Luthor retorted.

‘What?! How do you- I didn’t tell that to Lena-!’

‘You gave him a teleporting car.’ Clark noted, taken aback.  

‘We talked about this! You told me you wouldn’t harm him in any-‘

‘He did that to himself. Even if I gave him a normal car he’d crush it. I at least get some field-testing done this way.’ Luthor reasoned, voice cold.

‘It wasn’t my fault! The controls were a mess!’ Conner replied, exasperated.

‘Give me another one?’ he added after some reflexion, suddenly all too meek.

‘Please, with the marks you get?’

‘I’m saving the world!’

‘Didn’t stop me from not dropping out.’ Clark pointed out.

‘I could teach you.’ Lena offered, taking another sip from the shaved ice. She seemed to have forgotten all about the affair before.

‘She could.’ Lex agreed, not finding a single fault with the fact that she was years younger.

‘No thanks.’ Conner declined, still not sure if he could even take the offer seriously and if he did what that’d say about the level of his abilities.

‘If… I get C from chemistry on the next test, will I get the car?’ he started negotiating and Clark quickly brushed him off.

‘You need to improve for yourself, not for some reward.’

‘You won’t.’ Lex replied, ignoring Kent all together.

‘But if you get B I’ll give you 800 dollars.’  

‘Lex…’ Clark started warningly.

‘You would…? Yeah, deal!’ Conner exclaimed in surprise. It wasn’t so bad to have a supervillain for a father after all. Especially when he was one-upping his other superhero parent.   

‘That’s way too much! At least make it half-yearly tests from all subjects! You’re spoiling him.’ Clark protested, ready to have a lengthy discussion about parenting.

‘Just think of it as alimony. I’m not spoiling anybody.’

Clark just raised an eyebrow at that, looking over to Lena.   

‘…who doesn’t deserve it…’ Lex added after some reflection and Lena grinned up at him.

‘Can I go to Kent’s again, dad? Play with Krypto?’ she asked nicely, batting her eyelashes.

‘We’ll… talk about it…’ he concluded, steeling his resolve.

‘And I can go visit uncle Clark’s every week, right?’

‘No honey…’ Lex gave a nervous chuckle, unsure where that came from.

‘But he said he’d teach me how to control my powers.’ she pointed out, and Clark just shrugged his shoulders.

‘It’d be better this way, Lex. She needs someone to walk her through it if she wants to fit in with the rest without any other incidents.’ he reasoned, swirling the cup in his hand. The ice was melting fast.

‘What kind of powers does she even have?’ Jon whispered and immediately earned a death-glare from Luthor.

The bench went quiet.

‘I’m gonna be like my mum. She was super strong and she could fly. I think.’ Lena finally managed to reply, wrinkling her forehead in concentration.

‘You don’t know your mum?’ Jon asked, surprised.

‘She died when Lena was very young.’ Luthor concluded, trying not to let his anxiety show. The ‘mother’ had always been the weak link of his plan.

‘You don’t remember her?’ Jon went on despite the very obvious signs of Lex’s growing displeasure, too curious.

‘Nah, but that’s okay since I got dad. And he’ll get married soon and I’ll have a second da-… parent… A second parent.’ She replied, grinning wildly and otherwise looking very suspicious.

Lex would have to give her another lesson in lying later. Wait a minute…

‘That’s sad, you know my-‘ Jon started before he got interrupted by Luthor.

‘What are you even talking about, honey? What marriage?’ he asked nervously.

‘Don’t worry about that. Jon keeps fantasising about the same thing.’ Clark said reassuringly with a wide smile.   

Lena never talked about anything similar. Quite the opposite, she liked chasing any potential ‘mothers’ and ‘aunts’ away from him.

‘But it’s really happening.’ She firmly protested before Conner poked her in the back to shut her up.

Lex looked both of them over, increasingly suspicious.

‘Anybody want some cotton candy?’ Conner asked nervously, forcibly trying to change the topic.

Lena gave him a blank stare.

‘We had one like few minutes ago.’

‘Alright…’ he replied, gritting his teeth.

‘I’d like some.’ Jon admitted shyly.

‘You just had one.’ Clark repeated patiently.

‘I want the mini-donuts.’ Lena remembered with a sudden urgency and shot up, all of her matchmaking schemes already forgotten, and tugged on Lex’s hand, albeit very gently.

‘Alright, alright.’ Luthor agreed reluctantly and winced as he got up.   

‘Take it easy.’ Clark recommended quite uselessly and got death glare in reply.

‘I don’t want them anymore.’ Lena whispered, recalling the entire incident again.

‘Don’t be silly. I’m buying them with or without you.’ Luthor warned her jokingly, taking her hand. Lena frowned, torn apart between guilt and donut craving, but meekly followed her father.

‘Can I have some dad…?’ Jon whispered as his eyes followed them, jealous.

‘You wouldn’t eat dinner after all the sweets.’ Clark replied in a gentle but firm tone.

Conner looked like he was just about to head there himself but the conversation changed his mind. The kid was too well-behaved to throw a tantrum over the fact that he’d be the only one around without sweets but that didn’t mean that he could get away with stuff like that. He let out an annoyed groan and collapsed back on the bench. Parenting, right?

‘Can we go home?‘ Jon asked suddenly, swinging his feet.

‘You sure that you don’t want to go for another ride?’

‘Not really…’

‘Alright, just say goodbye and I’ll fly you home.’

Lena was just returning back from the stand, skipping back to the bench with a big grin on her face. She had an entire plastic bucket full of donuts that she promptly thrust into Jon’s hands as soon as she reached him.

‘We’re supposed to share.’ She explained and immediately grabbed a donut from the top.

Jon’s face lit up but he gave a quick glance in Clark’s direction. He was pretty sure that this wasn’t allowed.

‘They’re better warm.’ Lex pointed out, carrying his own small paper bag with donuts.

‘Lex…’ Clark started warningly, trying to overcome his shock.

‘Don’t worry, I’m still expecting a favour from him in return once he grows into his abilities.’

‘I will not directly or indirectly harm anybody physically or mentally, do anything illegal or morally questionable, lie, or do anything bad...’ as Jon set down his conditions, his face got surprisingly serious, almost like a small version of Superman himself, even though he basically repeated the same things over and over again. One of his hands impatiently hovered over the bucket.

Lex refused to find that adorable.

‘What can you do then?’ he asked instead.

‘I don’t know… help you move the furniture…?’ Jon continued, a little less sure, refusing to meet his eyes.

Lena stuffed one of the donuts into his mouth before the negotiation was over and he chewed down on it happily, before realising that he’d basically agreed to the conditions now.   

‘You’re spoiling him.’ Clark complained, but couldn’t help but smile.

‘I’m gaining an influence over one of the most powerful people on the planet.’ Lex countered. He wasn’t spoiling that little superman look-alike and he certainly didn’t feel any urge to ruffle his hair constantly. That would be ridiculous.

‘Hey mum, buy me some too?’ Conner joined in, nudging Luthor with his shoulder.

Lex gave him a glare that spelled a particularly gory death.

‘Don’t you mum me.‘

Lena tried her best not to snicker, face stuffed with donuts. Jon looked their way, more concerned than amused. Each and every Luthor glare made him nervous.

‘You know that I got your… your mitochronial DNA right? That’s the stuff that-‘

‘There are cases when mitochondrial DNA from the father is preserved-‘ Lex cut Conner off, putting emphasis on the correct pronunciation.

‘Nope. You were the one who watched over my development and I grew in your labs and stuff so…’

Luthor huffed, looking over to Clark as if demanding help.

‘Try to explain it in a way somebody with D from biology understands.’ He ordered, at loss of what to say to the teenager.

‘He’s kinda right though…’ Clark admitted after a long while. He tried his best to look professionally disinterested but corners of his mouth were rising up on their own accord.

Lex’s eyes widened in shock at the betrayal and he opened his mouth to say something, anything, before he gave up with an annoyed groan.

‘Choke on them for all I care.’ He muttered, throwing the paper bag at his face. He was supposed to be on diet anyway, Mercy would be furious if she found out.

‘Thanks mum.’

‘We should try the 30-meter drop tower next.’ Lena mused and as she moved her lips the sugar sticking to her face dropped down on her shirt. She grabbed another donut.

‘You gonna throw up from that too?’ Conner asked flatly and Luthor just gave a resigned sigh, sucking the air in through his nose.

He remembered why he hated amusement parks.

Chapter Text

‘We’re having pancakes for dinner?’ Jon breathed out when he saw his dad pulling their flattest pan out of the drawer.

‘Superpancakes.’ Clark specified, giving him a warm smile as he put the pan on the kitchen counter.

Jon’s smile grew even wider.

‘Can I flip them over?’

His dad seemed to consider it for a while. ‘If they don’t end up hanging from the lamp this time.’

‘That was just one time.’ he pouted at that reminder. He was great at flipping them, but he couldn’t exactly give his best performance when his mum was tickling him.

She always stood next to Clark when he was cooking, teasing him about his choice of ingredients. Pancakes were just about the one thing that he didn’t manage to put corn in.

‘How about you break the eggs for me?’ Clark offered, seeing that the smile slid off the face of his son.

‘Okay.’  

Somebody buzzed their doorbell and continued pressing it. Clark made a point of walking there instead of running at the speed of light, just in case, but it was clear that the person was determined to chase them out and the sound was driving Jon crazy.

‘I’m coming.’ Clark shouted, but it didn’t help it any. It only stopped when he finally opened the doors.

When he did, he almost jumped up from the shock.

He had hard time trying not to gawk at their visitor, beyond surprised. He managed a slow ‘hello’ but it came out sounding more like a question.

Lena scratched her nose, craning her neck to look up at him before looking down at her shoes again because the sheer mass of superpowered body was terrifying up close. She fidgeted nervously, feeling her cheeks flare up.

The plan was simple, sneak out of the house and spend some time in the enemy territory before sneaking back in unobserved just so she could prove a point. She got through the worst part already and she was pretty confident that she could pull this off. Her dad was gonna kill her if he finds out though.

‘Good evening.’ she finally spoke up.  

‘Jon said I could come over?’

Jon’s head snapped around at the sound of her voice and his palms started sweating. He did not say anything like that.

Clark stepped away from the doors, as if inviting her inside.

‘Does your dad know?’ he asked carefully, still not quite over the first shock.

 ‘Of course.’ she lied with a charming smile, keeping her heartrate even like dad taught her.

‘It took a bit of persuasion but I convinced him that it was better than dying alone with no friends.’

Clark blinked a few times, offering her a polite smile, still quite unsure.

‘Hi Jon!’ she called out to the boy in the kitchen and he replied with a slow ‘Hi… Lena…’, brows furrowed above the black rim of his glasses.

Taking that as an agreement, Lena stepped through the threshold into a big chaotic room that seemed to be a hall, kitchen, dining room and living room all mashed into one, more out of necessity than any architectural choice. It was connected to three other rooms that all together seemed to form the entirety of the apartment. The lighting seemed too dim, the furniture battered and mismatched, and there were just two small windows looking down into the street.

She felt a pang of disappointment. She knew that Clark Kent wasn’t as rich as her dad, partly because nobody seemed to be, but she couldn’t imagine that Superman would live in a rundown apartment like this. Alright, maybe it was just that she’d gotten used to a higher standard, there were definitely worse places to live, but she imagined it’d look more like the fortress of solitude…

The click of doors closing behind her startled her. As she heard Clark approaching, she tried to put on her neutral face, but some of that disenchantment must have still been visible because he looked away from her, slightly embarrassed.     

‘Well, we don’t exactly live in a skyscraper.’ he admitted, scratching his head.

‘It’s just… real small...’ Lena whispered as she kept looking around, still frozen in place.

‘Something to drink? Water, soda…?’

‘Orange juice.’ she said, observing him carefully, as if uncertain if she wasn’t asking something impossible of him.

Clark offered her a full glass, even though his hand was empty a second ago and she didn’t even notice him moving away.

‘That’s… awesome…’ she managed, staring at him wide eyed.

‘I’ll be fast like that too… when I grow up…’ Jon grumbled, standing on a stool as he went on with breaking eggs.

‘Of course you will.’ Superman gave him a warm smile.

Lena frowned when she remembered that Clark would get killed before that, at least according to her dad. She was still standing right behind the doors, glass of orange juice in hand, looking slightly lost. She’s never been places without her dad and she’d never realised how comforting his presence was. But it didn’t matter because she was going to handle everything just fine on her own. That’s what Luthors did. She repeated all the lessons Lex taught her, composing herself.

Clark was still looking at her questioningly, noticing her spacing out.

‘Where’s your bunker?’ she asked suddenly, trying to sound adult.

 ‘What bunker?’ Clark asked, eyebrows raised in confusion.

‘The neighbours have a basement.’ Jon added, cracking an egg carefully.

‘Where are you supposed to teach me about the powers then?’ Lena asked pointedly. She wasn’t in the superhero/supervillain business but still knew that a good base with training facilities was the way to go.

‘The living room is fine. It’s not like I can fly you over to the Fortress of Solitude.’ He replied jokingly and once again, Lena fought to stop her disappointment from showing. Not even her dad has been inside the Fortress of Solitude and she definitely wanted to be first.

‘It’s really freezing there anyway.’ Jon added, forehead furrowed in concentration.

‘We’re a little busy right now, sorry about that. Do you like pancakes?’

‘The red velvet ones are fine.’

‘Sure… I think we’ll have to go for the classic though…’

‘Raspberry swirl…?’

‘Uhm.’

‘Why don’t you guys go over to Jon’s room and play while I get those done?’ he suggested, looking over to Jon.

 The boy stopped with one hand holding the egg above the bowl, looking over to Lena.

‘Okay.’ He sheepishly agreed, slowly walking over to her.

‘The room on the right.’

‘Wait! Lena!’ Jon hissed quietly, quickly following her into the room. His dad had his back turned, humming some catchy song, probably ignoring them.

‘You’re still way behind the speed of sound.’ She commented dryly, sitting down on the double bed.

‘That’s dad’s room, we’re not supposed to be here!’ he whispered urgently, glancing back at the door as if superman could bust in any moment.

Lena threw him a pitying look.

‘Listen, everything is alright as long as they don’t catch you.’ She lectured him with a serious face and immediately threw open the first drawer her eyes landed on.

‘Huh, socks.’

‘That’s what villains say.’ Jon countered, crossing his arms over his chest. Lena didn’t even bother looking up at him and only gave a long sigh instead of proper reply as she went on exploring every hiding place.

Jon sidestepped nervously, frozen in place.

‘Hey! Look at this!’ Lena squealed, too loud for his liking, as she pulled out her find.

Jon’s eyes widened with shock,- it was the superman suit.

Lena almost bounced with excitement as she examined it, loving the feeling of the indestructible fabric slipping between her fingers.

Despite his better judgement, Jon inched closer, too curious himself. Lena handed him the suit with a big wolfish grin.

‘Here, try it on.’

‘I… It’s too big!’ Jon whispered, once again surprised by Lena’s boldness.

‘Where did you even get this?’

‘False bottom drawer. It’s almost as if he wanted somebody to find it.’ Lena said casually, already moving on to another drawers.

Jon wanted to point out that it may be because usually guests don’t go looking for secret compartments but decided it’d be a waste of time. Lena’s education was too far from the norm, after all.

After checking that she had her back to him, he gingerly put one hand into the sleeve of the suit, immediately feeling more powerful and dignified.

Lena ransacked another piece of furniture, only pausing for a moment at the strawberry condoms she found at the very back. Who even keeps candy in their bedside drawer?

There was something way more interesting.

‘Our photo album.’ It was Jon who cried out this time, superman suit sliding off his shoulders. He immediately pried it from Lena’s hands and hurriedly started flipping the pages.

With a huff, she decided to tolerate his insolence this time, looking over his shoulder.

‘That’s me and Krypto… and that’s at the grandpa’s army base. You know, my other grandpa, like my mum’s dad.’ Jon announced proudly, pointing at the photos.  

‘Do you have any from when you were tiny?’ Lena asked, trying to wrestle the thing out of his hands.

‘But those are… embarrassing…’ he muttered, cheeks red.

Lena ignored him completely and jumped way back. She finally found an interesting photo. Lois, closing in on her ninth month was sitting on a sofa, one hand on her belly and the other arm around Clark who was smiling from ear to ear. Lena started at it with an odd fascination.

‘Oh, that’s me in my mum’s tummy. It was gigantic.’ Jon explained immediately even though that much was pretty obvious.

‘Do you think I was that big too, when my mother was pregnant?’ she asked, mouth a thin line.

‘I guess. Like everybody is. Just look at your photo album.’ Jon offered.

‘Your mum really liked your dad.’ Lena observed, a little surprised. Her dad pretty much hated Lois Lane but she seemed like a nice person, at least in the picture.

‘Yeah. That’s why you have kids. When two adults love each other.’ He explained, cheeks red.

‘That’s crap. My dad didn’t like my mother, she’d be still alive if he did.’ She cut him off sharply, voice cold. She didn’t even know what her mother looked like.

‘I’m sure he did. Maybe she was ill. It happens a lot.’ Jon tried softly, a bit shaken from that sudden change and unsure how to comfort her when he’s never been in a situation like this before. Also, she shouldn’t have said the c word.

‘Wanna see what dad looked like as a kid?’ he offered after a moment of awkward silence and Lena shrugged her shoulders in a resigned agreement.

‘There you are, snooping around.’

Both Lena and Jon immediately shot up from where they were sitting on the bed, and put their hands in the air.

Clark took a quick glance around the room and sighed. He should have expected as much when he let her in, but it didn’t even take Lena half an hour to ransack his room.

Still, he looked at the two of them, Lena with her defiant glare and Jon with his eyes burrowed into the floor and the superman suit draping around his shoulders, too big for his small build, and couldn’t really manage to get mad.

‘Some of those things are the matters of the Justice League.’

‘Then you shouldn’t leave them lying on the ground. We were just looking at photos.’ Lena recovered smoothly, pointing to the album that lay open on the bed.

‘Jon?’ Clark turned to him for confirmation, arms crossed over his chest as he towered above them.

‘Mostly. But Lena did snoop around. A lot.’ He admitted, feeling nervous sweat running down his back.

Lena didn’t even bother with pretending to be sorry, just shrugging her shoulders.

‘I only did it to prove how lax your security is. Also, you totally underestimated the threat.’

‘I’ll just tell Jonn to wipe your memories then.’ He suggested, making a show of being upset, eyes blazing red, and could hear both of the kids gulping.

‘But the pancakes are ready, and I don’t want them to get cold.’ He added after a while with a grin.

‘Thanks dad! Pancakes!’ Jon gasped excitedly, dashing into the kitchen, all worries long forgotten.

Lena gave Clark a long skeptical look, before she carefully picked up the photo album and walked straight to him.

‘That was incredibly childish and inappropriate.’ She scolded him with a pout, looking him straight in the eyes. She would never admit to being scared, not for a second.

‘Maybe you’ll reconsider touching things without permission next time. It’s rude.’ Clark retorted in the same fashion, but he couldn’t help smiling at her serious expression. Lena looked down at her feet a little sheepishly for a moment as if building up her courage.

When she looked up at him again, she unexpectedly thrust the album into his hands. It was opened on the photos from his childhood. With another cute pout, Lena pointed one accusing finger at the photo on the left page.

‘Is that dad?’ she asked, brows furrowed.

‘Of course. Your dad grew up in Smallville, we were… friends.’ Clark explained slowly, a bit taken back.

It was one of the few photos he had of Lex, a blurry snapshot his ma took when they were both fiddling with the tractor in the barn. He’d just bent another wrench again and Lex was laughing at him and his miserable expression.

‘You got along really well…?’ she asked innocently.

‘We did.’ Clark admitted, a bit confused by her tone. He could hear Jon in the kitchen, gobbling up the pancakes, two at one time.

‘You don’t have any other pictures?’ she immediately followed up.

‘No, not really.’

‘That’s kinda rude when he’s your nemesis. I mean my dad has entire walls filled wi-’ Lena stopped in the middle of the sentence, catching herself as she was divulging yet another family secret.

‘I know. It’s kind of… disturbing…’ Clark sighed, remembering all the times he’s been to or seen that room. At times it seemed flattering but other times it was just borderline creepy. But then again, the other villains weren’t any better.

‘Better hurry to the table or there won’t be anything left to eat.’ He changed the topic, patting her shoulder. 

Lena gave a quick nod and spared the photo one last look, committing it to her memory.

‘He looks ridiculous with all that hair.’

‘Again? We were there just two days ago.’

‘But we didn’t get to go on all the rides!’

‘Then I’ll just tell Conner to come with us instead. It’s simple.’ Lena reasoned, stabbing her half-eaten portion with a fork.

‘Try not to rely on him too much. He should be studying.’ Clark pointed out before his head whipped around and he stared through the walls of the tiny apartment, alarmed. There was a person moving straight towards them at the speed of sound.

He sighed, giving Lena a look of pure disapproval.

‘That’s why you shouldn’t lie, Lena.’ he muttered, but didn’t even give her a chance to react before pulling the two of them into safety behind him just as one of the walls crumbled apart.

Unsurprisingly, Lex Luthor walked inside in his lexo suit with all the guns at the ready, looking positively furious.

‘Lena?!’ he shouted out, glaring at the little figure hiding behind his nemesis.

She stepped out defiantly, trying to ignore the fact that her knees were trembling.

‘Father.’ She announced in a similar manner and crossed her arms over her chest like she saw him do on numerous occasions, acting a lot braver than she felt.

Lex took a deep breath and allowed himself a moment of relief at the fact that she was unharmed before a new different kind of anger boiled over.

‘I’ve been looking for you for an hour, turned the entire Metropolis upside down, battled down the Legion of Supervillains and broke into the Justice League servers-‘

‘Hey!’ Clark interrupted him, alarmed.

‘-only to find out that YOU left on your own without saying a SINGLE WORD?!’ Luthor finally finished, pointing one of his gigantic metal fingers at her accusingly.

‘You said it was too dangerous to go out on my own, but I did just fine. And you’d never let me come here otherwise.’ Lena reasoned, white in the face but unwilling to admit defeat just yet.

‘I almost had a heart attack thinking somebody out of the thousands of people who hate me kidnapped you!’ Luthor bit back, throwing his arms around angrily.

‘I thought I could get back before you’d notice…’

‘I literally have nightmares about this exact sort of situation happening and you don’t want to see how they end up!’ that didn’t fail to make her feel bad.

‘I’m sorry dad. But it’s not like you know anything about what it’s like to have superpowers and I really want to get control over this soon… and I kind of wanted to snoop around…’ she recited while looking at his shoes, face red with embarrassment from yet another failure.

She finally moved closer and took a hold of his hand, trying to reassure him. That seemed to calm Luthor down, even if just a little.

‘I will never ever do anything like this again, I swear.’

He just raised one eyebrow at that, seriously doubtful, not bothering to honor that with a reply.

‘Or for… another year…?’ she offered, raising her shoulders.

Lex let out a long sigh, scooping her up into his mechanic arms with an expression of utter resignation. The fact that he could physically feel her there helped to quiet down that one paranoid voice in his head that tried convincing him that she was fake.

Clark finally found a good moment to enter the conversation, carefully approaching the pair.

‘I’m sorry Lex, she said you knew about that and I believed her.’ He apologized softly and only got a dismissive wave from Luthor who was too tired to deal with him right now.

‘You still owe me for the wall.’ He pointed out. The people in the streets were stopping to take pictures of their new all-natural window.

‘At least you know how that feels.’

‘Well, since you’re here already, stay for the pancakes.’ he offered casually, and could see Jon shake his head violently from where he was still frozen on the spot, unable to dispel the notion that Luthor came to kill them once and for all.

‘No-‘

‘I’ll make you coffee.’

‘Alright.’ Lex agreed immediately and collapsed on a chair, propping Lena in his lap, and closed his eyes, trying to slow down his heartrate, exhausted.

Clark walked back to the kitchen, ruffling Jon’s hair as he passed by.

‘Dad, what about the kryptonite?’ The boy whispered as he finally woke up from the shock.

‘It’s okay, Lex changed his power source.’ came the automatic reply but Clark was immediately forced to do a double take when the realization hit him.

‘You changed your power source?’ he asked incredulously. That was a HUGE step towards that alliance that they could allegedly never reach.

‘Apokoliptian tech is more efficient.’ Lex grumbled back in reply. He certainly didn’t need to send that message, it was just for Lena’s sake, but it’s not like he could blurt that secret out now. Or ever.

Before he as much as blinked, there was a steaming coffee right next to him. First good news today. He tried to sweeten it, but the tiny teaspoon didn’t pair so good with his thick metal gloves and Lena had to step in, scooping a generous amount of sugar.

Clark quickly returned with some painkillers.

‘I don’t really need those.’ Lex was quick to point out.

‘You will when you get down from that adrenaline rush. Your ribs aren’t getting any better.’ came the simple reply. The look Lex gave him reminded him that he really should stop casually looking through people.

‘Do they even work on you?’

Clark stopped with his mouth opened, realizing that he was about to reveal an information about Kryptonian biology that could be exploitable.

Lex gave him an expectant look.

They were going along that well too, he didn’t want to be the one to ruin it with his trust issues.

Lena gave him an expectant look, a mirror version of her father’s.

But then again, Bruce would think this was a really bad idea.

Jon looked up at him, confused.

His mouth was still hanging open.

‘Yes.’ He finally replied after a long moment of contemplation. Judging by that victorious smirk on Luthor’s face, he chose poorly.

Lex now sipped on his coffee with a dangerous air of self-satisfaction, but he did decide to take the pills.

Jon watched as he struggled with handling the cup in his gloves, equally scared and amazed by the mechanic suit. Luthor finally decided to take the glove off and the piece detached at the elbow, followed by a cloud of steam.

‘Why don’t you just take it all off?’ he suddenly asked. The question left his lips before he could stop himself.

Lex looked up at him, surprised by the direct question. It still seemed that he was scaring the boy half to death, after all.

‘The suit gets the signals directly from my skin. I’m not wearing anything underneath.’ He replied matter-of-factly.

Jon gave him a scandalized look, looking him over again. Lena broke out laughing.

‘But you’re wearing underwear… right…?’ Jon asked again as if convinced that he was misunderstanding something.

‘Nothing.’ Luthor repeated, unbothered.

‘It’s one of the added difficulties. Destroying the suit without actually making it fall apart.’ Clark added helpfully. He almost died from embarrassment the one time he had to fly Luthor back to the prison naked.

Jon turned bright red in the face, as if he was ashamed in his place and made a point of looking at what was left of the pancakes on his plate. He looked just like Clark when he was younger.

Luthor sighed, taking another sip from his cup.

It took the police half an hour to arrive to ‘eliminate the threat’ that destroyed the apartment wall, and Luthor would have been upset any other time because he managed to make it past two pancakes loaded with butter and marble syrup by the time they arrived (and Mercy will kill him for that) but at least Lena got some extra time to play with Jon. He was pretty convinced that he should get some points for raising a child capable of socializing. Also, he didn’t get arrested this time, definitely a plus.

‘So Lena will be coming over to that house three times a week…?’ Mercy concluded, obviously unimpressed, judging by her cold expression.

‘Somehow…’ Luthor groaned. He was so exhausted that he’d have agreed to anything.

‘But if Superman mentors her he’s bound to notice some-‘

‘He won’t. Once he gets to trust anybody he’s blind and deaf to all the warning signs.’ Spoken from his own experience.

‘Alright. I will incorporate it into her weekly schedule.’ Mercy conceded, scribbling onto her clipboard, and immediately moved on to another matter.

‘Professor Kreisberg has made another improvement on the prototype for teleporting car. He thought you’d want to see it.’  

‘Hm.’ Luthor managed meaningfully, thinking about something completely different.

‘Let’s restart project Galatea.’ He interrupted her, fiddling with his hands.

‘With all due respect sir, that’s insane.’ Mercy breathed out, shaking her head.

‘Lena would be happy to have somebody to play with and I’m sure she’d take good care of her baby brot-‘

‘Lena’s birth was suspicious enough, doing it again is downright suicidal. Even if nobody else finds out, she will.’

‘But, if we handled it caref-‘

‘Is it just because you saw Clark and Jon-‘

‘NO, no.’ Lex denied it all too ardently.

Mercy sighed again.

‘Lena has three brothers, isn’t that more than enough?’

‘But they’re completely out of my control.’  Luthor groaned but it seemed like he finally acknowledged how ridiculous his plan was.

‘I’m sure she would rather get a mother.’

Lex snorted, rolling his eyes. If he got thousand dollars every time somebody reminded him of his single status, he could give up his company. He had a sudden thought and jumped out of his chair to make sure that anybody wasn’t eavesdropping on them.

Mercy stared at him in bewilderment as he went to check behind the doors of his office and in the hall.

‘What is it sir?’

‘I could have sworn that Lena was listening in on us. She has a sixth sense for things like this.’

‘She ran off with some of the material from your labs earlier, but Hope went after her.’

‘Not from the Secret Stash, I hope?’ he froze as his head flooded with images of Lena suffering from severe kryptonite poisoning.

‘Of course not, sir. Nobody could break in there.’

‘Just let her play then. Experiments are allegedly integral part of childhood development.’

Lena dumped all the stolen materials on her big desk, feeling victorious. She got grounded and couldn’t go out with the exception of her scheduled visits at Kent’s, but it wasn’t as if she was usually allowed to go outside because ‘the world was a dangerous place for her until she grew up’ so she couldn’t really see the difference. Well, except for the fact that half of the points she collected got deducted which meant it’ll take forever until she’ll even get close to constructing the shark tank she needed so bad.

But she got all she wanted and if she spends lot of time at Kent’s place, her dad would have to keep meeting Superman. Since he was so bad at the one particular thing that was getting together with uncle Clark, she would help out. It’d also prove that her abilities already surpassed her father’s at least in one aspect.

In the meantime, she’ll just do what she always did, invent better and deadlier technologies.

She sorted through the stolen scraps of lab material that was scheduled for demolition until she finally found a good piece to start her robot with. It was a badly broken up robotic head of some alien design with complex circuitry made out of some unknown material. She wanted to expose its main panel so that she could get a closer look at the wiring, but she couldn’t pry its brain cavity open. Furious, she stabbed it with a screwdriver. One of its eyes blinked suddenly and turned to look at her.

The screwdriver dropped out of her hand and she immediately stuffed the head into the trash can, making sure to put it in facing the wall. Cold sweat broke up on her forehead.

That definitely didn’t scare her. Not at all. And it was very harmless, and she didn’t doom anyone by tinkering with it.

Alright, maybe she should start by making a death ray instead.

Chapter Text

‘No, no, no. That causes the feedback from the krystals. You have to isolate them.’ Lex lectured her, turning the simple smelted steel box over in his hands. 

‘But it won’t fit in afterwards.’ Lena complained quietly. 

‘Well, then you just have to redo the casing.’ 

She pouted at that, obviously annoyed. It took her days to assemble the entire unit. 

Her father’s visit caught her a little off guard and while she was grateful for the advice, she kept glancing back at the dismembered head currently occupying the entirety of her trash can. God knows what that thing was but it looked super dangerous and she intended to keep it.

‘Dad, how long would it… hypothetically take to contact some alien civilization?’ she asked suddenly, trying to judge how much trouble she was going to be in once her father found out.

‘Well, it depends on the emitter, if it travels trough the standard medium or if it transmits the signal through other dimensions like the phantom zone or if it war-‘

‘And if it does that…?’

‘Well, if it’s something like the Coluan transmitters, they can travel several lightyears per minute. But the materials they use are impossible to get in our solar system.’

Seeing that Lena was suddenly awfully quiet, Lex gave her a long, suspicious look.

‘Try not to trigger any alien invasions until you’re… at least eighteen, okay? JL is incredibly particular about those for some reason.’   

‘Okay, of course dad.’ Lena agreed quietly, feeling sweat drip down her back.

‘Well, when I was your age I felt that nobody on the planet could possibly understand me, but it turns out aliens are even worse to deal with than humans. So let’s not think about aliens too much, alright?’ Luthor ordered, half-jokingly, and Lena forced herself to relax as she took her invention back from him. The robot looked too damaged to be functional to that degree, after all.

 ‘I think uncle Clark is good enough for me for now.’ She replied, if only to amuse herself with the myriad of different emotions that took turns on her dad’s face every time she mentioned Superman in any shape or form.

‘Well, don’t get too used to him because-‘

‘You’re bound to exterminate him one day, I know dad.’ 

‘Wow.’

‘I know right?’ Conner grinned smugly as he led his friend into his room. He collapsed onto the bed and took another bite out of the buritto in his right hand.

Patting the bedsheets next to him, he got Tim to sit down. He did, still staring at the new Xbox One and Playstation 4 and the suspiciously full bags flanking them on either side.

‘Where the hell did you get the money to buy all that?!’ Tim asked almost immediately.

‘I got B from chemistry last week so my dear mother gave me 800 dollars.’ his friend replied casually.

‘Wait a minute you didn’t tell me anything about any rewards when I was tutoring you!’ he immediately realised, feeling left out.

‘What? You don’t need the money, your dad is a billionaire.’

‘It’s about principles.’

‘You get… one pack of nachos and some gummy bears.’ Conner announced with an air of a true salesman, fishing the treats out from one fat bag.

‘I can get behind that.’ 

‘But isn’t it weird that Luthor is suddenly giving you all that money…?’ he added quickly, processing the situation out of habit.

‘Not really, he’s ‘baby-crazy’.’ Conner replied, using the same expression Tim did when he first got anything from Luthor, unable to wash the smug expression from his face.

  ‘It’s actually real simple to get him to do anything as long as it doesn’t concern world peace. He’s got this urge to spoil every kid he lays his eyes on.’

‘Hm.’

‘Dude, he even bought food for Superman junior.’

‘Damn. Maternity really did him in. But I guess that’s a good thing. Unless it’s all a great scheme to… paint all the pigeons green again…?’ Tim wrinkled his nose, trying to remember what Luthor’s masterplans were about, but he was drawing blank. It's been a while since Luthor did anything properly evil.

‘I honestly first thought he was doing it to get Superman’s defenses down, you know, retirement, my kid is friends with your kid, here hold this for me while I cut your head off kind of thing.’ Conner admitted without any hesitation.

‘But is he… is there any chance he’s giving you another car… or a biosuit, rocket, space satellite…? God, I’d kill for a Lexcorp satellite!’ Tim's eyes were sparkling now and as he went on he slurred the words together from excitement.

‘Dude. You know you can’t marry technology, right? And what would I do with a satellite?’

‘Is he giving you anything at all?’ he asked curtly.

‘Nah. The cash is better. Why don’t you go to him yourself with that boner for Luthortech?’

Tim groaned, letting his upper body fall flat on the bed with a dramatic thud.

‘I tried to intern and everything. They won’t even let me within five meters of the building.’

He pointed at his face with a particularly heartbroken expression.

'Cause I’m Wayne.’

‘But… you can go to the charity ball next week right? That's a public event.'

‘Hm?’

‘Even I got an invitation. Got it somewhere here… gimme a minute…’ he started rummaging through his drawers using his one clean hand. Not very successfully.

‘Hold this.’ he almost threw the buritto he was holding at Tim so he could start throwing his stuff around more earnestly. After a while, he finally handed him the invitation, all wrinkled up and with one corner torn off.

‘There.’

‘Don’t think they send us any.’

‘They got free food and everything. I thought I’d go with Cassie but she said Luthor can go fuck himself sooo… the plus one is free.’

‘Seriously?! I could get inside the building?’ Tim almost jumped up from the bed, wide eyed with excitement.

‘Well yeah, that's how invitations work.'

'You're taking me with you.'

'Finally. I thought we said you'd be back by nine?!' Lex said as a greeting just as soon as Lena got out of the car, voice ice cold.

'We had a lot to practice.' Lena announced unapologetically, a little smile tugging at the corner of her mouth. 

'A lot to practice.' He repeated incredulously, shivering at the thought of Superman of all people teaching his darling daughter.

'Yeah.' Lena shrugged her shoulders and walked past her father, still smiling like she knew something good.

Lex hurried after her, his frown deepening.

'Oh, dad, I just remembered…'

'What is it?'

'Uncle Clark said he wanted to speak to you about something important.' She explained casually as if she didn't know how earth-shattering the news were.

'He did…?' She could almost hear how the cogs turning in his head jumped to full speed.

'He asked if you're free this Friday.'

'That's in two days.'

'Yeah, I guess.'

'What else? Was there something else?'

'There's a restaurant at the North-end square. Under the Tree…?'

'Under the Elm.' Lex swallowed nervously and readjusted his tie out of habit. He knew the place, it was way above the cocroach infested cheap pubs Clark usually went to on the rare evenings when he ate out with Jimmy Olsen. This was serious. Confession level of serious.

'Dad? Know what that's about?' Lena asked innocently, pretending she didn't register his distraught.

'It's… nothing to worry about. Tell him I'm free.'

'I did.' Lena blurted out before she could stop herself. Lex gave her a questioning look, just about ready to ask her what she was planning, but it only took few seconds before his mind returned to 'confession' and he forgot everything.

'Mercy, clear out my schedule for tomorrow. I'm going shopping.' He announced after staring into empty space for few decisive moments.

Lena let out the deep breath she was holding, taking a moment to calm herself down. Clark didn't even think to doubt her, but she was a little nervous about her dad finding out. But Conner was right after all, when Superman was concerned, all Lex's genius intellect went out of the window.

'Of course sir.' Mercy replied, only bothering to raise one eyebrow in surprise.

Everything was going according to the plan.

Chapter Text

The Under the Elm restaurant was a lot more posh than he remembered, or it was just that he felt terribly underdressed in his one good fitting suit while the rest of the guests sauntered around in their custom designer clothes.

He approached the receptionist at the hostess stand, staring at his not-so-posh shoes all the while. 

'Good afternoon.' He mumbled.

The lady graciously lifted her head and gave him her best questioning look.

'Good afternoon sir. Do you have a reservation?'

'Yes but… it's not in my name and the other person is late…' he started playing with his hands, well aware of how ridiculous his request was. He’d been waiting outside for the last thirty minutes, waiting for Lex to show up, and he was ready to turn around on his heels and head home once he got turned down.

'Mr Kent, I presume.'

'Yes…?' he stuttered out, surprised that mind reading was now a part of the service.

'I'll lead you to your table. You have one of our private rooms.' She added matter-of-factly, and immediately set off.

'Of course we do.' Clark sighed as he followed her upstairs. Typical Lex.

She gave him a puzzled look, as if expecting him to elaborate on that.

'It’s nothing.’ He mumbled as an excuse.

She led him into what looked like the biggest room and lit the candle in the elaborate candle holder on the table.

‘Thank you.'

'Could I offer some drinks or appetizers while you wait?' she asked as she handed him the menu, taking out her notepad.  

'Oh, I'll take tap water…?'

'Of course.' She walked out and closed the doors, leaving him alone in the room with only anxiety for company.

He was finishing his glass of water and very ready to give his best excuse and leave when Lex Luthor walked in. He didn’t even bother to look hurried and almost slowed down to a crawl when he entered the room.

Clark shot him a tired look of resignation and just motioned him to sit down.

‘I couldn’t get away from the meeting. General Lane, regulations of my supply of arms to Kahndaq and all that.’ He declared instead of an apology and took his time before he sat down.

Clark looked him over, more out of habit than anything else, taking in the expansive black and golden suit.

Lex fidgeted under the scrutiny, playing with his elaborate L shaped cufflinks.

‘It was either this or a boring business suit,… or the white one but it was a bit too much, or the purple one…’ he said out loud, furrowing his eyebrows.

‘You were late because you couldn’t decide what to wear?’ Kent summed it up.

‘Don’t be ridiculous.’ Lex cut him off curtly in that quick defensive manner that just about told him that he guessed right.

‘I chose the best one.’

‘As always.’ Clark added sincerely.

‘What are you drinking?’ Luthor changed the topic, still feeling a bit unsure about his suit.

‘Water.’ Clark replied simply, shrugging his shoulders.

‘You could at least start off with some wine. And I heard that they’ve got quite a gin collection here.’

‘I’m driving home.’

‘Alright.’ Lex sighed. He tended to forget that having a chauffeur was unusual among the general populace. He pressed a button on the side of the table and called a waitress over, different than the one that led Clark here.

He gave Kent one long look and started asking about their wine selection. Judging by his sour face, there weren’t any of his favourites, but he settled for some rosé wine to go with the soft-shelled crab with crispy seaweed as an appetizer. The waitress, awfully tense the entire time, ran off when she took his order, almost tripping over her own legs in desperately doing her best not to displease Lex Luthor.  

‘So…’ Lex started, not even fazed by her behaviour. 

‘What are you getting?’

‘Haven’t decided yet.’ Clark replied honestly. He’s been paging through the menu the entire time but his eyes keep sliding to the high prices. Even though Lex is probably treating him, since he chose this place, he wouldn’t put it past him to change his mind if the date doesn’t go as he imagined.

‘Maybe Pasta al Limone?’

Lex gave him the look, raising both of his eyebrows.

‘Are you looking at the prices?’ Clark opened his mouth to produce some excuse but nothing would come out so he just shrugged his shoulders again.

‘I’m getting you Filet Mignon with double smoked bacon and blue cheese crust.’ Lex announced, ignoring his non-verbal protests.

The waitress returned and wrote down their orders, or at least the orders Lex chose for them.

After a moment of tense quiet, they both started on the appetizers. The seaweed wasn’t as horrible as it sounded.

When they had half of the plate cleaned up, Lex nonchalantly started about the deals he made just this week and how many millions it’ll bring his ‘little’ company. Clark guessed that all the money was supposed to make him seem more attractive, but it was a rather crude method and he could tell Luthor wasn’t even doing it intentionally. Maybe it was just a way to fill up the awkward silence. It made him wonder how many dates he’s been on since he had Lena.

So he played along and asked the questions he was supposed to be asking, and nodded at the appropriate moments. Then, just to keep up the conversation, he talked about the Daily planet. About the new reporter they got, about some crazy stunt Lois pulled to get a good scoop again (which he disapproved of), about the exposé he was doing on the homeless and the shelters in Metropolis.

At that point, Lex was quick to change topic before he could fall asleep. He was starting up a new space program, collaborations with NASA and ESA,- three of his teams are working on designing the rocket that’ll take research team to Mars and back. But with all that equipment and food, it’ll take two weeks to even get them there, he complained as if it didn’t mean that his rocket would fly twelve times faster than should be possible.

Space, they found out, was a safe topic that interested them both. New alien civilisations, the policies of Green Lantern corps, a possibility of some long-term alliance with some of the nearest planets.

The food arrived and the portions were far bigger than Clark expected with all the fancy names and ingredients. The conversation was quickly dropped in favour of eating.   

‘That wasn’t even that horrible.’ Lex, few forkfuls away from cleaning his plate, managed one of his half-compliments.

‘Hm.’ Clark agreed. He’d already inhaled all of his food a while ago and was just waiting for Lex to finish his.

‘How was yours?’

‘Good, it was great.’ He replied honestly.

Luthor finally sat his plate aside and took another sip of his wine, looking quite content. Clark didn’t really feel like spoiling his mood, but he couldn’t wait any longer.

‘Lex, I think we need to talk.’

Not exactly the best formulation, he realised, it was almost the same thing he’d say hovering in front of Luthor’s balcony when he was up to no good.

‘Alright.’ Luthor nodded, dabbing his mouth with a napkin.

‘You know that each of us is at a completely different place right now and I don’t think-’

‘Stop.’ He raised one hand up in front of his face as if the flow of his words would have to brake for him like traffic at the zebra crossing.

‘Lex-‘ Clark sighed.

‘I’ll go first.’

‘Alright.’ That went as smoothly as expected, but Lex was incredibly obstinate about doing everything his own way.

‘I… I’ve been thinking and came to the conclusion that… I don’t dislike you and since you’re quite bearable I want a revision of our relationship. An… upgrade… of sorts…’ Lex sat with back straight and head held high, his voice level, as if this was a practiced public announcement not a date.

Clark looked at him in disbelief, unused to such direct manner from Lex when it came to ‘feelings’ and his person in general.

‘Is that a confession?’ he asked for the affirmation.

‘It’s just a logical conclusion based on our mutual attraction.’ Again with the flat tone.

‘Lex, you know I liked you and it’s really hard now that you’re back to acting a bit like your old self and it’s great,… like I like being around you… but if we’re to do an… ‘upgrade’ I need some guarantees.’ Now comes the horrible part, Clark thought, mentally bracing for the impact.

‘Are we supposed to draw up a contract?’ Lex asked, blinking away his confusion.

‘I can get my lawyer here in ten minutes…’

‘I just want you to swear that you won’t break the law in any shape or form.’

He chuckled.

‘No really, what is it?’

Clark just furrowed his eyebrows and continued, jaw set.

‘No secret illegal projects, no blackmailing your competitors, no prohibited human experiments, no bribing, no ‘vanishing’ people you don’t like… no supervillain activities…’

‘You can’t get anywhere in business without committing a few. Everybody does that. Can you even imagine the loses I’d have in just a month if-’

‘I don’t care. I don’t want anything temporary and I can’t leave Jon with you if I can’t trust you with this.’

Lex stared at him incredulously. He opened his mouth but he couldn’t chase any words out. Finally, he leaned back on his chair, expression controlled, as he went for what he knew to be a futile attempt.

‘It’s already good enough. I quit wasting resources on trying to conquer the Earth and the sales are at all-time high. Just try and prove me anything.’

‘I don’t care Lex.’ Clark cut him off immediately, voice cold.

Lex gritted his teeth and shook his head slowly. He was furious and his anger radiated from underneath his cold expression.

‘Did you invite me here just for that?!’

Clark’s stern face was immediately forgotten in his confusion.

‘…it was you who invited me…’ he said slowly.

There was a moment of tense quiet as it became obvious that they had no real reason to be here.

‘Did Lena tell you that?’ Lex asked after a long moment.

‘She said you wanted to tell me something.’

He shook his head with a sigh. Then he started looking around, into the flower vase, candle holder, he reached under the table… and pulled out a black box the size of a fingernail.

‘A bug?’ Clark observed, and muscles all over his body tensed on reflex.

The discovery seemed to have the opposite effect on Luthor, because his shoulders relaxed and his heartbeat slowed down.

He leaned to the bug and, very quietly, said two sentences.

‘Lena, I am very upset. We’ll talk about this when I get home.’

‘She set us up?’ Clark still couldn’t believe that. She was just a little girl.

‘Apparently. I should have known.’ He got up.

‘You’re going already?!’

‘Don’t worry, I’ll foot the bill.’ He already put on his coat and didn’t even bother turning around to face him.

‘Lex.’ Clark pleaded, still frozen in his chair.

‘You’re asking the impossible.’

‘How did the meeting go dad?’ Jon ambushed him at the door, looking incredibly worried for some reason.

‘The wha- oh, the meeting… yes… it was… interesting…’ ‘as horrible as expected’ was more accurate, still, he couldn’t help feeling disappointed and a little betrayed.

‘Is Luthor renouncing his world of crime to join the Justice League?’

‘Who… told you that? How do you even know I was with him?’ Clark tried to hang his coat on the hanger but it fell off for the third time. He decided to leave it as a sad depressed heap on the floor.

Jon was still looking up at him with wide eyes.

‘Lena called me. She also asked me to come over and pick a room in the penthouse.’

‘She did…?’

‘She lied about us moving in with them, didn’t she, dad?’ his voice didn’t waver but he could hear his teeth chattering, even though he did try to stop them.

‘Of course we aren’t moving away. And Lex refused my one and final offer, he won’t get into Justice League.’

The boy visibly relaxed and his knees bent almost as if it was the stress what was holding him up the entire time.

‘That’s good.’ He narrowed his eyes, realising his mistake.

‘I mean bad. He doesn’t seem to be that terrifying as I thought but I still don’t want him around.’

Clark sighed, ruffling his hair affectionately.

‘I know, don’t worry about it, it’ll only be Lena coming over few times a week.’

‘I don’t mind her, she’s nice.’

‘Lena, explanation about the bugs, manipulation and the general objective of all of it?!’ Lex ordered angrily right after his arrival, confronting her in the dining room.

‘You got along so well dad, I just wanted you to be happy and-‘

‘What is he doing here?!’ it took him a while to register Conner standing aside with Mercy right behind his back.

‘After you called I went to Lena’s room and found him there.’ She explained simply.

‘What are you doing here?!’

‘Enjoying the sacher torte from your fridge…?’ Conner offered, picking up one of the dishes from the table loaded with a big slice of cake.

‘Do you really want me to take all of my money back with interest?’ Lex sighed, obviously very not in the mood for a surprise visit.

‘C’mon, you were really getting along. You almost had him.’

‘Nothing’s happened and nothing’s ever going to happen. I’ve had enough of that useless naïve idiot who can’t even understand how the society works. He can drop dead for all I care.’ He almost growled, balling his hands into fists.

‘Dad.’ Lena chided him softly.

‘You’re grounded.’ He announced. She just lifted one of her thin eyebrows and he realised his error.

‘You will continue being grounded. I’d confiscate your research but I’m not a monster.’

‘I just wanted to help you out.’ She sighed, frustrated.

‘You successfully conned two of the most powerful men in the city into going on a date.’ Lex informed her coldly but when he summed it up like that...

‘Okay, I see your point now. The introduction was flawless but the plan could fall apart any minute as it did.’

‘Only because you didn’t get along.’ Lena piped in, glad to see that her dad was starting to see the other side of it.

He mulled it over and finally decided on a verdict.

‘Adding fifty points.’

Conner almost choked on his cake.

‘You’re kidding right? I thought you were supposed to be mad at her!’

‘She used her knowledge of both of us and our trust to successfully manipulate us into doing her bidding. I can’t let my personal feelings get in the way of my professional judgement. She did a great job.’ Lex admitted, albeit a little unwillingly.

‘I actually helped a little.’ Connor added quickly, starting to like the way this was going.

‘A hero as an accomplice? Twenty points more.’

‘And?’ he urged him on.

‘You will pay for that cake.’ That earned a loud groan.

‘You don’t really mean that.’

‘And you better not botch the math test again. I’d be very mad.’ Lex warned him.

‘I get the feeling I’m not the favourite kid.’ Conner sighed, collapsing back into the chair.

‘Don’t pretend to be smart.’ Luthor replied, but without his usual snark and there even seemed to be a tired smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. He had the nagging suspicion that he was starting to grow on him, despite his many shortcomings.

‘You could go legit.’

‘Shut up about it. It never happened, I don’t care.’ He immediately reverted back to his earlier tense pose.

‘Really, it’s just a question of whether or not is Superman worth the little loss of money and influence.’

‘That’s right. It’s not that much really.’ Lena added from where she was quietly standing, observing their interaction.

‘I don’t need to make any compromises, right now I am way more than he deserves so he doesn’t even have the right to demand stuff from me.’

Connor sighed, taking another bite of the cake.

‘How do you fit all that ego inside of that tiny skull?’

‘I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that so that I can let you live for a while longer.’ Luthor muttered, only half-joking.

‘So you’re not mad at me anymore dad?’ Lena asked carefully, moving in slowly and carefully like a wild animal.

‘I think I appreciate the gesture. I’m mad at him for being stupid.’ He finally decided and heaved a monumental sigh.

‘I just thought… it’d be nice to have him as my other dad…’ she reasoned, voice soft.

‘It would.’ He admitted, a bit melancholy.

He looked over at Conner who was shamelessly stuffing himself with the cake and moved to snatch it from him with a hard look.

‘I need this more than you.’

‘What about your figure?’ Conner teased when Luthor dug into the sacher.

‘I can singlehandedly ruin entire countries. That makes up for it.’ Came the honest reply.

Lena yawned and decided this was the perfect time to sneak into dad’s office since the interesting part of the conversation seemed to be over.

‘Oh yeah, Tim’s coming to the charity ball on Wednesday. Just so you know.’ Conner suddenly announced as he started his attack on the caramels lying in a deep bowl on the table. There was an astounding number of sweets in the house.

‘Tim as in Timothy Drake, current alias Red Robin, born to Jack Drake and Janet Drake, studying at the Gotham public school, member of the batfamily whose various talents include computer hacking, engineering, sabotage-’

‘Yeah, yeah, that Tim Drake.’ Conner cut him off before he could get to the toothpaste Tim was using or something equally silly. Lex shrugged his shoulders, a little apathetic.

‘Why not.’

‘Okay…’ that was way easier than imagined.

‘Are you dating?’

He did a double take, awarding his ‘mom’ with a scandalised expression.

‘No. NO. He’s just a guy… a guy-friend.’

‘Alright.’ Lex raised both eyebrows with a thin smile that led him to believe that he wasn’t buying it. Before Conner could even open his mouth to counter that with something (like the fact that he was already in a relationship, thank you very much), Lena suddenly emerged in the middle of the room with a big toothy grin.

‘Dad, can I borrow the laser cutter from your office?’

‘That one’s mine but Mercy can get you another one. What do you need it for?’ Lex replied, unphased.

‘Just finetuning my killer bot.’ Lena’s grin grew larger as she glanced over to Mercy.

‘I can’t wait to see it done.’ Her dad replied, to Conner’s obvious disapproval.

Lena almost danced out of the room, closely followed by Mercy. Connor’s eyes followed them out before he turned to Luthor.

‘Should you lend those to kids?’

‘Oh please. I pulled off an experiment with kryptonite and gama radiation when I was around her age and it only cost me all of my hair.’

That wasn’t exactly reassuring, at least judging by Conner’s terrified expression.

‘She’s gonna be fine.’

‘And you wouldn’t even let me fly her up on the silo.’ Conner grumbled quietly, shaking his head in disbelief.

‘Why the hell won’t you fit!’ Lena shouted in a fit of anger and threw her screwdriver at the wall. It went through the plaster and protective layer and only stopped when it hit the steel plates that covered her room from all sides and stayed impaled horizontally in the wall. Right when she was just getting the hang of her super strength too.

‘Is everything alright Lena?’ Mercy called out from the hallway.

‘Sorry Mercy. The stupid thing won’t fit but it’s the right size! It doesn’t even make sense!’ she called back as she forced the cursed creepy head onto the rest of the robot body. It hasn’t been creepy since, and she managed to rewire it so it shouldn’t act up again, but it wasn’t exactly cooperating either. She’s been fiddling with it for an hour now and still couldn’t seem to connect it to the rest of her creation.

‘Should I call over mr Luthor?’ Mercy now seemed to be standing in front of the doors to her room.

‘No, I can handle this.’ Her dad was probably still busy gobbling up everything sweet he could get his eyes on. And maybe bantering with Conner since the boy hasn’t left yet, she could still hear his heartbeat. It seemed her hearing was improving too, but not her patience.

She hit the head with a wrench but it still somehow refused to slide into the prepared junctions at the neck.

‘Alright. But no shouting.’ Mercy conceded.

‘Okay…’ she called out before she hunched over the table again and frowned at her creation, wrinkling her little forehead.

‘Damn thing won’t fit.’ She whispered with a sigh but apparently not quietly enough to avoid being heard since Mercy cleared her throat very loudly in response.

‘If you need help, just call your father.’

‘I know, I know.’ Lena groaned, rolling her eyes. Mercy finally decided that she has better things to do and, judging by the sound of her footsteps, went for another tour around the penthouse.

Lena sighed again and made another valiant effort to put the thing together. This time, it slid in with alarming ease. She stared at it, wide eyed.

Then the robot stood up and looked her in the eyes.

Her jaw dropped.

‘Inhabitant of sector 2814, identify yourself.’ It ordered. She quickly covered its mouth with one hand, eyes darting around in panic. The robot buzzed as if to protest and scanned her scared face.

‘Lena Luthor.’ It stated. The sound wasn’t even muted by her hand.

‘Yeah.’ she whispered, staring at the machine in disbelief, unsure if she should wreck it now or only after she shows it to dad.

‘First genetic donor, Lex Luthor. Who’s your second donor?’

‘Joanne Sharyn.’ she muttered shyly. She shouldn’t even be answering the questions of a misshapen robot head, but she replied almost on instinct. She wondered how long it will take for Mercy to come by again and hear them talking and she both dreaded and prayed for that moment.

The robot buzzed again, this time for a longer time, almost as in thought.

‘Correct your answer. Joanne Sharyn does not exist in sector 2814. Specify.’

‘She doesn’t because she’s dead, she died when I was a baby.’

‘Negative. Joanne Sharyn did not exist which makes her death impossible. My information is never incorrect. Did you obtain false information? Is your memory storage corrupted or is this an example of human lie and/or deception?’

‘My dad told me.’ She admitted slowly. She didn’t know whether she actually believed that her dad was lying about her mother the entire time, but even if he was, she couldn’t say she’d be entirely surprised.

‘Interesting. That raises the probability of specimen 2956B as your second genetic donor to 59%.’ This sentence almost had some feeling in it, a change in intonation. It occurred to Lena that maybe it wasn’t the robot speaking, but that it was just forwarding somebody’s voice. But that somebody talked like another robot.

‘You know my mom? Who’s 2956B?’ she pressed on, increasingly curious.

‘My divulging this information would interfere with Lex Luthor’s current lie and/or deception. Until I understand its purpose, I don’t stand to gain anything from it.’

She sighed in exasperation. Her eyes hardened and she picked up the wrench.

‘Then I guess I’ll just remove your legs and leave you crawling until your expiry date.’ She offered, voice cold, and pointed the wrench at its ugly head.

‘It is of little importance to me. This machine is merely my means of communication. Did you just perform what is known as ‘blackmail’? I only know limited information about the techniques employed in human communication, the archive of my father is insufficient in this one point.’ That about confirmed her theory.

‘Father? You’re human? I mean,… an organic lifeform.’

‘Correct.’

‘You don’t sound like it.’ She commented, but the robot didn’t seem quite satisfied with the answer.

‘Are humans liable to judgements based just on sounds?’

‘You know what I mean.’

‘I don’t.’ it replied honestly.

‘Then forget it.’

‘I’m not capable of that, I remember every moment of my life since I was four. My race is best in storing information.’ Idioms apparently weren’t part of its - or more like his – ‘information about the techniques employed in human communication’.

‘Your race?’

‘The Coluans.’

She could feel cold sweat run down her back, quickly glancing around her room before she leaned in to affirm her suspicions.

‘The ‘invade your planet and steal your cities’ Coluans?’

‘That is very crude and vague generalisation to characterise us as a race. But it is sometimes a part of our quest for knowledge.’

THIS was bad. Very very bad. She swung the wrench at the robot, panicking. It didn’t even bother to dodge and the wrench hit it squarely on the chest and dented it.

‘Is this another blackmail?’ it asked in that monotone voice.

She grabbed its body with her left hand and the head with her right and started to twist it off.

‘The destruction of the communication device is pointless now, I am already on my way to your sector.’ The robot informed her, as its voice started distorting.

‘What?!’ she breathed out, shuddering.

‘I will meet you in five Earth days at 2117 local time for further questioning.’

She tore the head from the body and smashed it in her hands until it was just a ball of alien metal. There was no way anything could come back from that.

She slowly walked to the other part of her room and sat down in one corner, rubbing her forearms to calm herself down.  

‘Oops?’ she managed after she found her voice again, aptly summing up the entire incident.

Chapter Text

It was Wednesday and as far as Lena was concerned, there were 94 minutes left until the start of the Coluan invasion that she might have triggered by accident and it scared her a little. The waiting, especially, was horrible.

She could hear her father move from his office to the living room, heart rate a bit elevated. She poked her head out and watched him straighten one of his expensive suits in the mirror.

‘Where are you going, dad?’ she squeaked, unwilling to stay in the penthouse during the apocalypse that was to arrive without her dad.

‘The charity ball is starting on the eleventh floor. Are you alright, honey?’ he looked her over, concerned.

‘Yeah. Can I go too?’ she asked immediately.

‘I thought you didn’t want to go but sure, get dressed.’

‘Okay.’

Lex walked to her with a gentle look, touching her shoulder.

‘Are you sure there’s nothing wrong? You’ve been off the past few days. Are you still sad about the robot? I can help you re-assemble it.’

She visibly flinched at the mention of it. She’d told everyone that she’d lost her temper and smashed the robot, making sure to skip the ‘an evil alien contacted me’ part, but it wasn’t like they weren’t bound to find out soon.

‘It’s nothing, I can handle it.’

‘I know you want to do it yourself but it’s pointless if it just makes you upset.’ Lex petted her hair. His voice was calm and level and it calmed her down a little. If there was someone who specialised in killing aliens, it was Lex Luthor after all.

‘I know dad. I’m gonna get changed then.’ She replied, turning back to her room.

‘You really need to hurry if you want to make it for the opening.’ Lex reminded her, pressing a kiss into her hair.

To say that Tim Drake was happy to be around the bits of technology exhibited in the hallways of Lex Tower would be an understatement. It seemed like it was Christmas and his birthday at the same time and he had the wide shining eyes of a kid in a toy store for the first time in their life.

At first he dashed through the hallways like mad but after he got down from his high he came back and intently examined every single exhibit, moving at a snail pace. He’d just dragged Conner a single meter forward, forcing him to look at what most resembled a 100 ml metal bottle with coloured pipes coming out of it.

‘That’s so awesome.’ He breathed out, an octave higher than usual.

‘You’ve already told me seven times.’ Conner teased him gently. He rarely got to see his friend this excited and wouldn’t want to spoil it for him but technology really wasn’t his cup of tea and he was bored out of his mind.

‘Just look at that, that’s the antimatter engine. If only you could make it bigger it’d replace all of the other energy sources all around the world!’ Tim lectured him, expression frozen on the million watt smile.

‘But you can’t make it bigger.’ Conner guessed.

‘Well, no, they tend to explode, but I bet it just needs some different materials.’

‘So it’s useless.’ He summed up, pointing a finger at the device.

‘It’s not useless.’ Tim looked him straight in the eyes and gravely stated:

‘It’s the future.’

Kon shrugged his shoulders.

‘Sure is.’ He sighed, deciding to go up to one of the balconies instead but when he turned around he unexpectedly came face to face with Lex Luthor himself.

‘Holy fuck!’ he shouted, jumping a step back and almost falling down on his ass. Tim jumped up too, seconds away from throwing a batarang into the intruders face. Luthor just raised one eyebrow at the display.

‘What are you creeping around for?!’ Conner complained loudly, gesturing at him.

‘I thought I’d come over to check up on you, just in case you were up to no good. What happened to your superhearing?’ he asked cooly and Kon just made a face. He was actually trying to hear minimum of Tim’s monologues up till now.

Luthor turned to face Tim who gave him a questioning look so Conner decided to be civil about this.

‘That’s Tim Drake. Tim, that’s my millionaire mum.’   

‘Billionaire actually.’ Lex corrected him before he addressed Tim.

‘Finally something who actually appreciates what I’m doing here. But it doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten about your drones snooping around the Lextower few months ago.’ he started with a smile, but his eyes were dark and serious.

‘Sorry.’ Tim uttered, grimacing as if he was just force-fed lemon.

‘Can’t you give Tim a tour around the mutant factory? He’s into all that science stuff.’ Conner offered helpfully, patting his friend on the shoulder.

‘I could but I’d have to kill him afterwards.’ Lex chuckled and Conner followed his example, face taut. Tim didn’t seem to be bothered by that.

‘Actually, I wanted to ask you about the teleporting car we… broke a while ago…’

‘Hm?’

‘I did my research on the motherbox technology but you’re the only person so far who’s managed to separate the outer casing from the core to reuse and replicate it. How did you stabilise it?’

Conner rolled his eyes. Of course that’s what would happen if you introduce Tim to a super intelligent supervillain. Science tips.

‘Because the other ‘scientists’ are idiots who can’t improvise with something that goes beyond our current technology.’ Lex replied easily.

‘That might be connected to the fact that it was Lexcorp that got the total of 77% of all foreign material after the alien invasions.’

‘Just 77? Oh, you’re including the 19% hidden in the Fortress of Solitude. I’ll have to break in there one day, they grabbed the best pieces.’

‘Or you could talk Clark into celebrating your first anniversary there.’ Conner added casually, a little smug when he saw Lex’s expression change from his carefully controlled façade into an expression of pure annoyance and frustration in the space of seconds.

‘Give me a break. It’s enough I have Lena nagging me about it every day. I already forgot all about it.’ He retorted quickly, crossing his arms over his chest.

‘Is that why you were flirting with the Canadian top model a while ago?’

Tim looked from Conner to Luthor, surprised that they were that close to each other already and also very uncomfortable discussing Luthor pining after the man of steel.

‘She started it. My reputation was on the line.’ Lex defended himself weakly, a bit bothered by the direct approach. It seemed like it was time to change the topic.

‘But let’s not spend the night talking about me. How was school?’ he asked coldly. Connor gasped.

‘C’mon, that ain’t fair.’

‘You do realise I’ll enrol you to Huber’s Private School if I get the impression Smallville High doesn’t stimulate you to improve your knowledge.’

‘And that is blackmail.’ He pointed out dryly.

‘But it has the best lab of all the high schools in the country. Their team was the first on Earth to create Valorium.’ Tim started casually, finally succeeding in integrating himself back into the conversation instead of standing dumbly around.

‘Exactly.’ Lex’s attention snapped back to him, finding himself a little impressed. He pointed to him with his thumb as he addressed Conner again.

‘Are you sure you don’t want to reconsider not dating him? I could get used to him.’

Tim turned bright red in the face at the sudden suggestion while Conner just let out a loud annoyed groan.

‘Just grab one of his hairs and grow him in a lab then.’

Luthor went quiet and looked thoughtful for a few seconds and… this was bad..

‘No way, my dad would kill me!’ Tim objected loudly, already conjuring Batman’s disapproving face in his mind.

‘He would kill all of us if we gave him the excuse.’ Lex replied matter-of-factly but then he suddenly froze like a deer in the headlights. He could have sworn that that in the corner was Clark Kent examining a solar gun. He needed to disappear, immediately.   

‘I need to go. Have fun and do NOT snoop around.’ He quickly warned the kids and almost ran away from the scene.

Tim and Conner watched him in mild confusion until Clark approached them few moments later.

‘Kon, I was looking for you-’

‘He’s very much not over you.’ Kon pointed out instead of a greeting.

‘Who? Lex was here?’ that had Clark looking around frantically until he spotted him two rooms away.

‘Yeah.’

‘Well, I did what I could, I’ll just leave him to think it over. But the eavesdropping was incredibly impolite, and also criminal.’ He chastised him, since he didn’t see him since the entire Under the Elms incident. He only now noticed Tim giving him a positively horrified look.

‘Oh, hi Tim, I didn’t see you there.’

‘Evening mr Kent.’ He muttered. He sincerely hoped that this won’t turn out to be a continuation of the incredibly uncomfortable Superman and Lex Luthor relationship debate.

‘Where is your dad?’ Clark asked instead, catching him of guard.

‘He isn’t around today. He’s… busy…’

He instinctively turned around and stared at a wall until he refocused back with:

‘Oh… he and Selina are back together?’

Except that he was spying on people again and breaching their privacy which wasn’t exactly heroic. He hung his head guiltily.

‘I should really stop doing that.’

‘I thought he told you he wouldn’t make it.’ Tim asked, ignoring his inner turmoil.

‘He did but I saw Damian here and Bruce wouldn’t just let him-‘

‘Damian is here?!’

Conner didn’t see how that warranted all the dread he could see in Tim’s face.

‘What’s the big deal? Is he going to set the building on fire and dance in the ashes?’

His friend shrugged his shoulders.

‘Depending on his mood.’

It was nineteen minutes until the set time of her appointment with the Coluan invader and the time seemed to pass agonisingly slow for Lena as she stared out of the windows and admired Metropolis just in case she didn’t get any other chance to do that in the near future, ignoring all of the reporters who’ve seen her for the first time in their lives and quietly argued who the hell she was. It seemed like they were bad at their jobs.

Damian watched her quietly from behind the buffet table, trying to work up his nerve to go and talk to her. He took a deep breath, trying to imagine her as some lowly thug… a car thief, yes, that should do it.

‘Hey, you over there!’ he called out angrily, stepping out into the open. Lena, together with everyone in two meter radius, turned around and gave him a puzzled look. When she recognised him, her eyes narrowed dangerously.

His throat went dry and he hid his hands in his pockets nervously. A reporter snapped a photo of them, just in case, but the rest of the guests went back to minding their own business.

‘What do you want?!’ she barked at him, already worked out from the end of the world.

‘I…’ Damian started quietly.

‘I want my friend back!’

Lena sighed, feeling the energy seep away from her.

‘And why is that my problem?’

‘Cause you stole him!’ Damian started to get worked up by her reaction or a lack of one.

‘He offered to be my friend. He apparently needed a change after you.’ She replied, monotone. This was incredibly insignificant compared to an alien invasion and beyond silly.

‘You bloody-‘ he was close to shouting and would have surely invented something to hurt her with, if she didn’t choose that moment to turn around to look at the clock hanging on the wall. There were tears in the corners of her eyes.

Damian’s brain shut down and restarted on a different mode.

‘Hey, are you okay…?’ he asked quietly, a little concerned.

‘What do you care?!’ she bit back and turned his back to him, hiding her face.

‘What are you mad for?! I didn’t even insult you this time!’ the boy complained. It was unfair that she’d get into this state right when he had his best chance to settle this once and for all after all these weeks. He was at a serious disadvantage here, not to mention that Luthor might pop up at any time and cut out his tongue or something similar.

‘I got more important stuff to do. I’m just… I’m just wasting my time here! I sh-should find my dad…’ she stuttered out, obviously holding back tears. Her eyes still darted back to the clock.

‘I’m-… I’m sorry, alright?! Is that good enough?’ Damian relented, feeling guilty despite not really having any reason to this time.

‘But I was the best in the class until you showed up and I was like screw you… and maybe I was like… jealous and stuff, but only a bit. And then you grabbed my friend… my only friend and that’s fucking annoying.’

‘It’s not like I’m stopping him from talking to you.’ She pointed out dryly and started to walk away, preferably to find her father, uncle Clark or Conner. Somebody with some experience with all of that.

‘I know.’ Damian sighed, trying not to let his anger show.

‘So… are we like… alright now…?’ he called out as he ran after her. She grabbed her hand, forcing her to look at him.

‘I guess. At least you’ll stop annoying me about it.’ She grumbled, annoyed, and pried his fingers off. He tried to hold on but she was incredibly strong, it was like trying to wrestle a titan.

‘Damn, I hope I won’t have to apologise ever again, it fucking sucks.’ Damian muttered, mostly to himself.

‘Hey, are you… you aren’t mad at me, right…?’

‘It doesn’t matter now…’ Lena breathed out. Damian didn’t like the sound of that, together with her terrified expression.

‘What- what is it?’

Lena bit her lip and avoided his eyes, standing there quietly. Then she finally decided to at least tell someone.

‘I… I did something pretty horrible… And… I didn’t even tell dad… he could fix it, I guess he could but… I just… don’t want anybody to know…’ she sniffed. Damian nodded furiously, he guessed he knew what was going on.

‘You know, it’ll just fade away with time… and you can like, make up for it later by not killing any more people…’

‘Even if it could destroy the Earth…?’ Lena asked calmly, lifting her eyes. That caused even Damian to pause for a moment.

‘Eh… not sure about that one… But it gets almost destroyed every other week, I’m pretty sure our fathers will handle that, that’s their bloody job so…’

He looked at her, still feeling kind of guilty for something, even though he was pretty sure that that thing was entirely her fault, whatever that was.

‘Want some strawberry jello?’

She shrugged and Damian was pretty much convinced that he was forgiven.

‘What are you doing Lex?’ Clark breathed out when he finally caught up with Luthor only to find him giving Damian a long lecture about boundaries stretching three meters away from his daughter.

Lex turned around and gave him a long look, gesturing at Lena who hung onto his arm, terrified for her life.

‘See? And she won’t even tell me what he did to her this time!’ he managed, furious, as he stabbed one accusing finger into the air in front of Damian’s face.

‘I didn’t do shit!’ the kid complained, obviously offended.

‘He really didn’t do anything dad.’ Lena squeaked and almost crawled into Lex’s arms, trying to get to safety.

‘What’s going on?’ Clark asked in his serious voice, giving Damian a long hard stare.

‘She’s just… scared of something. Like the Earth’s going to explode. I don’t know. We were just having jello when baldhead barged in acting all crazy.’ He replied, shrugging his shoulders. He didn’t look particularly worried.

‘It’s true dad. I-in… three minutes…’ Lena whispered.

‘And it’s… it’s my fault… and I’m so sorry!’

‘The Earth is going to explode?’ Clark asked, tilting his head to one side.

‘No…’ she sighed. She looked at her dad, white in the face with worry, and hung her head guiltily.

‘I think there’s going to be a… Coluan invasion…’ she whispered, wincing at Lex’s scandalised expression. Clark’s eyes widened and Damian uttered a small ‘oh’, genuinely impressed.

‘I’m sorry dad.’

Lex stared with his mouth open before he forced himself to take a deep breath, holding Lena a little bit closer.

‘Okay. I need to get you to the safe room and-‘

‘It’s better if she stays behind me. A ship entered the atmosphere already.’ Clark informed them, jaw set. In a second, he reappeared in his suit.

‘Oh shit.’ Damian managed.

‘I went and called the JL, they should be here in few minutes.’ Superman informed them. He could see Tim and Connor running to get changed too.

The people around them started noticing him, pointing at the hero and cheering. They quickly crowded around them in a very unhelpful manner.

‘Everybody stand back from the windows, there’s a spaceship on collision course with Lex Tower!’ Superman shouted as he floated above the guests. He could see it now, it was a small ship for one person, no bigger than three meters. The lights turned red as Lex initiated an emergency lock down and metal plates slid in front of the windows.

The ship suddenly sped up, seemingly jumping in time and space, cutting kilometres in a pace that seemed fast even for him. He flew out of the tower, just below the metal grid, shattering a glass window, moving in the space of milliseconds. The ship was now running at him at an incredible speed. He grabbed it by the nose and tried to turn it back or change its course but he only managed to slow it down a little. He strained all of the muscles he almost forgot he had as it backed him into the Lex tower, right through the window he flew out from 0,496 seconds ago. It slid until the metal grid and broke the security glass apart, entering the building. Clark could feel the sweat forming on his back and face, but he finally slowed the ship down enough and its engine finally stopped a meter above the crowd, forcing him to hold it up himself. He could finally feel the time at a normal pace again.

The shockwave arrived and knocked the glasses off the tables and the sound of the impact arrived after shortly after that. The guests under him shouted in wild panic and climbed over themselves to get out of the room, even though all of the action was long over.

They were lucky that none of the glass fell down on them. Flash stood right next to the ruined window, holding a basket full of sharp shards and gave Superman thumbs up.

Superboy was a bit late on the action, seeing that he couldn’t move or see at those crazy speeds yet but he popped to Lex and Lena to make sure they’re okay and protect them from any additional harm. Red Robin followed closely behind him, making sure to give Damian a long glare, just on the off chance he somehow knew about this.  

After some time, the handful of remaining people turned their eyes to the spaceship hovering quietly above them. Superman finally had the space to put it down now that the room has cleared out and lowered it down on the floor.

Just at that moment, the door to the cabin hissed open to reveal its pilot. It was a Coluan, that much was certain but…

‘It’s a kid…?!’ Damian was the first to voice what they were all thinking. The boy couldn’t be more than fourteen with short blond hair but he wore a spacesuit with Brainiac’s design and there were three glowing ports at the sides of his head.

‘Brainiac 2?!’ Luthor called out, still holding now very scared Lena.

The alien exited his ship and turned to him. He had a flat monotone voice, making him sound more like a robot than an actual person.

‘Lex Luthor. According to my research the correct phrase is ‘good evening’.’

‘…good evening…’ Lex breathed out.

‘It is customary to state one’s name during the first encounter but we already know each other’s… I don’t have enough information to proceed with introductory phrases… Can I still say I’m glad to meet you…? And do I have to be glad or is it just a figure of speech?’ his small green face wrinkled in thought.

‘Where’s 1.0?!’ Luthor asked quickly before Superman beat him to it.

‘On an expedition on the edge of sector 3.’

There was a collective sigh of relief and Flash went on with the questioning.

‘What are you even doing here then?’

‘One of my father’s research drones destroyed during his invasion of the Earth started sending back data again and I was tasked with inspecting the issue. I found out that it’s been re-activated by one of the inhabitants whom I identified as Lena Luthor, daughter of Lex Luthor. I came here to take her sample and test my hypothesis that specimen 2956B is her other genetic donor and also to gather more information about the curious patterns of human behaviour…’

‘So you’re not here to hurt anybody?’

‘It is not my objective. I am not equipped for a fight.’ It didn’t look like he was lying.

Flash shrugged his shoulders.

‘I guess I can leave this one up to you? I ran away from my date so I kinda need to get back asap before he notices I’m not actually in the bathroom.’ he turned to Superman who just nodded.

‘I think so. Thanks for helping me handle this.’

‘No problem. I’ll stop the JL alert but give me a call if you need anything.’

‘I will, enjoy your date.’ And he was gone in a flash.

Brainiac 2 seemed to pause and stare into empty space for a few seconds, probably checking something.

‘It seems I was 19 seconds late for my arranged 2117 appointment with Lena Luthor. I apologise for my tardiness.’

‘Stay away from my daughter.’ Lex warned him angrily. Mercy pointed a loaded gun at him to highlight that point.

‘So this is Brainiac’s… son…? Here without his dad?’ Conner guessed, trying to understand his situation.

 ‘If you’re referring to Brainiac 1.0, then yes. But I am not ‘here without my dad’ due to the presence of my second genetic donor, Lex Luthor.’ Brainiac 2 supplied helpfully.

All eyes turned to Lex who took a deep breath, getting ready for the onslaught.

‘Dude…’ Conner reacted appropriately.

‘Luthor is your second father…?’ Superman repeated.

‘Are you doubting the correctness of my earlier statement?’ the boy seemed to take that personally if the minimal raise in his voice even meant anything.

‘Oh god Lex, when was that?!’  Clark groaned.

‘During the last Coluan invasion, of course.’ B2 supplied helpfully.

‘Wow, you do get around.’ Damian pointed out with a whistle.

‘Really, do I have a secret brother over at Mongol’s place?’ Connor added with a smirk. Lex gave him a deadly glare.

‘Actually, I’m coming over to his place tomorrow to discuss that.’

‘That’s good to hear. His race needs further research.’ Despite all of his accumulated information, Brainiac 2 apparently didn’t understand sarcasm.

Superman didn’t seem that ready to just joke and brush this one off.

‘I told you to stop growing children in test-tubes!’ he growled at Lex.

‘Are you getting this Jimmy?’ Louis asked from where they were crouching behind a fallen buffet table. Jimmy just nodded and pushed the shutter button frantically.

‘I’m sorry that it is my goal as a scientist to perfect the human race! And Coluan dna lends itself very easily to genetic manipulation. It was too tempting.’

Camera flashed.

‘So I have another alien brother?’ Lena summed it up, when Lex finally let go of after what felt like ages, and looked over to the Coluan. An alien brother raised by a superpowered city abducting villain who talks like a computer. She wasn’t impressed, but at least there was no alien invasion which was definitely a plus.

‘My father always spoke highly of your ability to-’ B2 tried to join the conversation only to get cut off by Superman who was seriously getting irritated with the reporters in the room.

‘Could you please clean out the area? It is NOT safe here!’

‘Your father could never comprehend the subtlety of genetic cloning.’ Lex pointed out, a little smug.

‘I think we really shou-‘ Jimmy stopped for a moment only to get reprimanded from Louis.

‘We need those photos.’

‘Why do humans all speak at the same time? It’s incredibly impractical.’ B2 complained weakly, struggling to process all the stimuli.

The cameras flashed again and Superman couldn’t stand it anymore, grabbing the table the two were hiding behind and throwing it away.

‘Louis, would you be so kind and leave the building? This is JL matter.’ He growled, eyes glowing red.

She didn’t even pause and just raised her eyebrows, only replying after she finished writing in her notebook.

‘I wouldn’t notice. I’m just waiting for the ruffle drawing at 22h. Wouldn’t want to miss it.’ She replied, giving him a cold look.

Superman groaned. Right when he tried not to involve his personal feelings into this. He looked over to the second reporter just as he took another photo of the group.

‘Jimmy, would you please give us some space?’ he asked pleadingly and his friend took one look at him and gave a slow nod.

‘C’mmon, Louis. We have enough already.’

‘Yes, an ancient affair. Daily planet isn’t a tabloid, Jimmy.’ Louis sighed.

Lex smiled at her sweetly.

‘Or I can have my lovely assistants get you home through a shortcut.’ He pointed to the broken window and Hope and Mercy nodded, moving in on the intruders.

Louis rolled her eyes, feeling a little nostalgic while Jimmy gave a nervous chuckle, sweat running down his face.

‘Alright, alright. No need to go through that trouble.’ She decided, looking back to Superman.

‘I’ll be a bit late tomorrow, I scored an interview with Vincenzo Gnanatii so I’ll pick Jon up after 5. Is that okay?’

‘Sure.’ Clark sighed and Louis finally sauntered off with Jimmy close behind her.

‘So… Are you SURE your father won’t come knocking on our doors anytime soon?!’ Conner asked immediately after that, wanting some more reassurance.

‘He attends to a matter of higher importance. And he isn’t aware of the destination or purpose of my visit…’

‘So you just snuck out of the skullship?!’

B2 pulled something that closely resembled a guilty expression using a minimum of face muscles.  

‘You better return until your father finds out.’ Lex pointed out.

‘He has already registered my absence but won’t find it as an uncommon occurrence. I am sometimes gone for days at a time pursuing my personal research but I can’t depart now because my spaceship got damaged during the landing. Moreover I won’t leave without accomplishing my objective. Lena Luthor.’ He turned to her.

‘What do you want?’ she asked him curtly.

‘A dna sample to prove that specimen 2-‘

‘It’s true.’ Luthor cut him off, wanting to get this over with before Lena starts getting any ideas.

‘It is? Aren’t you employing lie on me?’ B2 asked quickly and scanned him for a good measure.

‘Yes.’

‘Then my theory was correct. Naturally.’ That seemed to convince him.

‘But why didn’t you use coluan dna, we’re far more advanced as a race than krypto-‘ Lex ran to him and cut him off with one hand closed around his mouth, but the damage has already been done.

B2 extended robot appendages from his back and used two of his primitive three fingered  metal hands to pry him off. His face finally showed some proper expression, one of absolute disgust.

 ‘You spread your bacteria on me! Human need for physical contact is… unhygienic and pointless…’ he whined, wiping his face with something that had to be disinfectant. He still had no idea what he’d done.

Both Lena and Clark stared at the two of them, wide-eyed with surprise as their brains caught up with what the sentence implied.

Connor was the one to react, surprised that he got something first.

‘You mean you didn’t know? I thought that’s why you guys started getting along again.’

‘We really need to talk, Luthor.’ Superman breathed out, giving him a hard stare, still unsure how to react to the fact that he’d had a daughter for all those years.

‘Dad… is that true…?’ Lena suddenly asked, voice above a whisper. She felt sick.

Lex shook his head resolutely, desperately trying to lie his way out of the truth.

‘It’s just a misunderstanding over who specimen 2956B is.’

‘Don’t lie to me again!’ she shouted at him, tearing up.

‘Honey I…’

‘So… I ne-never had a mom…? I wasn’t… even born?! You-you just… grew me like s-some disease?!’ she stuttered out with tears running down her face.

The rest of the group looked at each other, all sharing the same awkward feeling and wishing they could be miles away from this situation.

‘Of course not honey-’ Lex tried to calm her down gently.

‘And… I wasn’t in mum’s belly and nobody made those funny faces and sang me songs that I couldn’t possibly hear enclosed in all the tissue-like, like they do in the movies…? Like Jon’s mom did?! I had… I was floating in some lab with people and screens around…?!’

‘It’s not that bad, c’mon, I know.’ Conner shrugged his shoulders.

‘I’m so sorry honey.’ Luthor whispered because he couldn’t possibly deny any of that.

‘H-how long was I there…?! Did you give me false memories too?!’

‘I wouldn’t!’ he exclaimed, shocked that she’d even imply something like that.

‘I know you didn’t raise me, you took me out when I knew how to do all the stuff on my own!‘

‘No no no. It was nine and half months, I taught you everything, you were just a little red thing, screaming and shouting all the time. I bought bottles a-‘

‘I don’t believe you!’ she shouted and ran off at a record speed, becoming just blurry line until she shut the doors to her room with an echoing bang.

Everybody took the time to take a deep breath, except for Lex who didn’t seem to be breathing at all.

Conner nervously sidestepped in one spot before he decided to run after her.

Lex seemed more than ready to join him but Damian grabbed his arm, immediately regretting it after Luthor gave him the look that said he’d better let go or he will lose that arm and three other limbs.

‘You should just leave her alone for a while.’ he recommended, trying to look cool and composed for few more seconds before he quickly yanked his hand away.

Luthor looked at him in shock, then back in the direction of Lena’s room and he balled his hands in his fists, realising that he was probably right. Still, that didn’t stop him from grabbing the nearest bowl and throwing it on the floor with all the strength he could muster, or the three after that.

Clark, Tim and Damian observed the outburst in tense silence. Brainac 2 didn’t really seem to be capable of reading the room as processed the conversation in his own way.

 ‘That exchange was very instructional. But human regulations on non-sexual reproduction are detrimental.’

In the next two seconds, his robotic hands were forced to catch a big sauce boat aimed at his head.

‘Please shut up or I will hurt you.’ Lex warned him coldly, despite the fact that he tried just that very thing.

B2 opened his mouth to point out the fault in his logic but wisely decided that it was best to close it again.

Superman chose this moment to let him know that’d been given more than enough time to vent over this already and should start sorting this mess out instead.

‘I need to see the lab.’

Luthor gritted his teeth, but knew well enough that throwing anything at him would be a waste of effort. 

‘There’s nothing there anymore.’

Clark narrowed his eyes and floated above him, obvious sign that he didn’t exactly take no for an answer.

‘Suit yourself.’ Luthor bit out, giving him a long glare before he walked off into the hallway to the elevator. Superman and B2 followed closely behind him in grave silence.

Suddenly, Damian and Tim found themselves completely alone in the destroyed room.

‘Well…’ Damian started.

‘That was… interesting…’ Tim finished.

‘You don’t wanna see the labs?’

‘I think I saw way too much for one day. Remind me to never go to a charity ball again.’

‘Sure thing.’

‘Why didn’t I realise it sooner?! I’m pretty sure Batman knows already.’

‘Let’s see if he knew that Luthor had a green kid hidden somewhere across the galaxy.’

Damian let out a long sigh.

‘I kinda feel bad… for Lena…’ he admitted slowly.

Tim gave him a surprised look.

‘Well, emoting is good… you’re off to a good start as a human being…’ he ruffled his brother’s hair despite the ugly glare thrown his way.

‘Do you wanna go grab some dinner?’ he offered, since he didn’t really feel like staying here any longer.

‘I’d kill for a pizza. But you’re paying.’

Chapter Text

Conner stopped in front of the doors to the room where he could hear Lena, shifting weight from one foot to another nervously. He knocked and could immediately hear her shouting in reply.

‘Stay away! I don’t wanna see you anymore you’re a liar and-‘

‘It’s me sis.’ He said, looking down at his shoes. It’s not like they knew each other for a long time and he had no idea how she’d react but he needed to help her somehow.

There was a tense silence for a few moments but then he could hear the padding of her little feet towards the door and rattling of various assortment of locks as they unlocked.

She eased the door open, wiping her eyes with her right hand. She was all red in the face and there were tears running down her cheeks as she stood there, looking up at him without saying a word. The tears welled in her eyes again and as they started to overflow, she suddenly threw herself at him and squeezed him in a bone crushing hug.

‘I know, it’s… quite a shock…’ he stuttered out, grateful for his super durability. She started sobbing again, gasping for breath.

‘But it’s all gonna be okay, you’re gonna pull through that.’ Conner kept talking as he picked her up gently, just in case it calmed her down somehow, and carried her back into the safety of her room, closing the door again. She was incredibly light.

‘Hey, at least you got Superman as your dad now, even without setting up some new dates.’ He immediately regretted it when the words left his mouth but Lena gave him a lopsided smile. There was snot dribbling down her nose so Kon put her down on her bed and got her a tissue.

She blew her nose loudly and finally uttered some words.

‘B-but I… he grew me in the test tubes in the lab…’

‘Same, same. But at least you didn’t just find out that your second dad is the supervillain actively trying to kill you and your friends. You know,… that it’s some okay guy instead.’ Conner added casually. It was literally ages ago and he was pretty much over the ‘am I Superman or Luthor?’ issue so he could afford to joke about it every once in a while.

Lena stopped crying for a moment, pouting at him, a little offended.

‘This is different.’

‘I know it’s hard to believe coming from me but I really think he meant well… and you know… loved you from the start… or something… ’

He scratched his head nervously and decided to sit himself down next to her on the bed.

‘I mean he had to raise you too,… I mean, there’s like some chemical reaction that clicks in your brain when you grab a new-born and bam! You get all nice and protective all of a sudden even if you don’t really want to. You don’t get that with teenagers… maybe your first urge is to slap them a little instead of… you know...’

That dubious logic seemed to calm her down somehow, or maybe it was just the talking, because she seemed ready to engage in a conversation.

‘But why didn’t he tell me instead of… instead of making me think I’m normal…’

‘You got superpowers, that’s not all that normal.’

‘You know what I mean…’ she sighed, looking him straight in the eyes.

‘I just… I wanna have a mum… or think I had a mum… That entire thing was weird from the start, I don’t get how I didn’t discover it sooner.’ She sniffed, but she’d stopped crying, ready to be rational about this. She pulled out the stash of chocolate chip cookies hidden in a secret drawer in her table and dug in.

It seemed that she took stress-eating after her dad and Conner had to stifle a chuckle because this was a serious situation.

‘Will they take me away now?’ she asked suddenly, with crumbs sticking to her chin.

‘What do you mean?’

‘Somewhere in the JL… or Cadmus cause I’m… a Kryptonian raised by a supervillain and a huge safety hazard…?’ she got to her third cookie.

‘No. I wouldn’t allow that. Your dad wouldn’t allow that…. Either one of them…’ Conner replied immediately.

Lena seemed to consider that, but just thinking about it had her scared enough already and she cuddled closer to her brother, leaning onto his side.

‘On the bright side, you managed to get in contact with Brainaiac’s ship and only called in a weird alien kid and not an alien invasion.’ He tried to change topics to a matter of equal importance and Lena readily jumped at the opportunity.

‘I was so scared for nothing. It’s because he talks so weird. Does Brainiac talk like that too?’

‘Like an answering machine, right? Yeah, he does. I think it’s because they have wires in their brains and stuff.’ Conner wasn’t exactly the best when it came to describing cyber-organics but it still managed to pique her interest.

‘That’s… gross… The kid too?’

‘Yeah. Him too.’

‘That’s pretty horrible.’

‘But he doesn’t have to pull out his phone to find the nearest burger joint.’

Lena looked him up and down giving him a hard stare before she smiled and announced:

‘You’re horrible too.’

Conner chuckled and put his arm around her as she continued with stating the results of her analysis.

‘But I’m glad you’re my brother. At first you didn’t look like much but you’re okay.’

‘Wow, I’m flattered.’ He grinned, but actually felt kinda glad that he was somehow good at this ‘caring for kids’ thing.

‘Turns out Lex is real good at making high-quality kids then. Not so much at raising them.’

That earned him a disapproving scowl.

‘I don’t wanna talk about him.’

‘Okay.’ He pressed his lips together into a thin line. Well, he’d been doing okay until now, that had to count for something, right?

Lena sniffed again and wiped her cheeks with clean tissue. Her face was still a little red, especially around the eyes, and she looked emotionally exhausted, but it was a major improvement.

Conner looked at her and an awesome-horrible idea started to form in his head. He nudged her with his shoulder.

‘Hey, how do you feel about a night flight above the city?’ her eyes immediately lit up and she grabbed hold of his arm, excited.

‘You’d take me…?’

‘Sure.’

That earned him another hug.

‘Very impressive.’ B2 stated after he scanned the now empty laboratory.

‘You managed to grow a Kryptonian hybrid despite these insufficient conditions and the lack of proper materials. I am now inclined to believe that you might have – on few separate occasions – outsmarted my father who has 12th level intellect.’

‘Hm.’ Lex managed in reply, grinding his teeth. He’s already had enough humiliation for today to even think about humouring the person who just happened to break into his house.

Superman was still looking around the lab, pulling out every little thing forgotten under the tables and looking it over, just in case the assortment of pens and rubber bands somehow proved to be useful.

‘There’s nothing here. The lab was already used for four other projects.’ Luthor repeated, no longer used to the superhero scrutiny and beyond fed up with it.

Superman drummed his fingers on one of the computers before turning it on. It was still functional and connected to the servers.

‘Get me all the data about it.’ He ordered coldly, forcing a flash drive he’d found under a chair into his hands. It was shark shaped.

‘It’s encrypted and I don’t exactly have the time to-‘

‘Then I’ll have someone else do it for me. The data.’

Lex groaned and pushed him aside from the screen. Clark gave him a sharp glare, obviously distrustful.

‘I can decode that data faster than all your servers combined.’ B2 chimed in, impatient to get his hands on the research.

‘You are not touching anything.’ Luthor warned him quietly but that didn’t stop the Coluan from trying to hack into his system, unsuccessfully. The alarms went off again leaving Lex to disactivate them with a groan, and he gave the boy a tired look as if daring him to try this shit again.

Brainiac 2 still had that irritating blank face as he stated the obvious, not fully aware of the purpose of Luthor’s expression.

‘Your security system seems unbreachable.’

‘It’s designed to give your dad a headache. Now you’ve seen the lab, go fly home.’ Lex managed, still bordering on polite.

‘My spaceship was broken in the collision with specimen 2956B-‘

‘It’d be easier if you just called me Superman or Kal-El.’ Superman interjected.

‘I need time to repair it.’

‘I’m sure you can do that locked in JL headquarters.’ Luthor threw the flash drive, now stuffed with sensitive information from his best project, at Superman, not bothering to check if he caught it.

‘I don’t think so.’ Clark replied, arms crossed over his giant chest.

‘You don’t think so?!’ Lex looked up at him with a glare, anger bubbling inside him.

‘You just proved that he can’t crack your security system, you’re better equipped for holding him here. He is your responsibility.’

‘I haven’t even seen him for the last 13 years-‘

‘It was your idea to create him and then you let Brainiac fly away with him-‘

‘In case you haven’t noticed, me and Brainiac had a bit of an argument that involved trying to kill each other.’ Luthor retorted, standing face to face with Clark and feeling the irrational need to peel his indestructible face off with his bare hands.

‘I did notice, I can pull out the data-‘ B2 joined in, before he got cut off by Superman, who was also getting warmed up for the argument.

‘And how is that unusual for your relationships?’

‘Are you seriously going to leave a Coluan with a supercomputer for brain in the hands of a supervillain?!’

‘Yes, I think so. It’s also in your best interest that we solve this soon and you’re good with alien technologies. Fix the ship then we can talk about your involvement in this.’ That came out more as a growl with Clark sliding back into his holier-than-thou voice that Luthor positively hated. It was just expected that he’d start shouting at him, going as far as pointing his fingers into Kryptonian’s stern face.

‘My-my involvement?! Few days ago you were ready to parade me into your headquarters if I said yes to a… to one stupid question and NOW I’m back to where we started because you were too blind to notice Lena conveniently has your powers and can’t deal with the fact that I FINALLY made something that… that I can be proud of only because it concerns you!’

Clark’s lips twitched back into something like a snarl and his eyes turned red.

‘EVERYTHING you do seems to concern me! Why couldn’t you just find yourself somebody?! Adopt a kid! No, you had to go against all the moral codes because you can’t NOT have a Kryptonian killing machine for a daughter-‘

‘LENA a killing machine?! Are you retarded?! You spent your time with her, you know she-‘

‘So was Conner until you started your lovely scheme and you sent him against his friends-‘

‘Just because I got her with an unusual method she HAS to be evil?!’

B2’s eyes darted between the two of them as he observed their shouting match, suddenly feeling a little threatened. He had no idea what to do when witnessing this human interaction, but it seemed that he had to pick a side and convince the other party to reconsider their view with logical arguments. It shouldn’t be so difficult, humans are primitive beings.

‘I do not think your negative attitude toward cloning is fully justified-‘

And he got interrupted immediately, completely ignored.

‘WHY did you have to give her superpowers?! Do you have any idea what kind of burden that is?! She-she can’t even hug you without worrying you’re gonna break apart!’

‘At least she can protect herself against anything! I have it all handled, do you think-‘

‘Isolating her from everyone and everything and forcing her to hide herself is not handling it! She’s just scared now!’

‘And you wouldn’t conveniently happen to drag her off if you saw her flying through the city, would you?!’

‘Not if I knew about it from the start!’ Superman shouted in his booming voice, loud enough for B2 to employ his sonic dampeners. Luthor didn’t seem intimidated in the slightest, only antagonised more, if that was possible.

‘Yes, Superman, just calling to ask if I can use your dna to grow myself a daughter. What do you mean, go to jail?!’ he retorted, voice dripping with sarcasm.

Brainiac 2 saw Clark taking in a deep breath through his nose, eyes still blazing red, and he almost flinched back. He tried again, meekly.

‘I do not understand what is going on. Can’t you sum up your opinions in a file and-‘

‘If you knew it was bad from the start and you could ruin her life with it why did you even do it?! Are you that selfish that you had to have a kid no matter what?!’

‘Funny thing you say that after Jon! Hell, you could go around knocking up all the ladies in Metropolis and get yourself a private army and NOBODY would give a damn because you’re a HERO!’

Luthor did the unthinkable and actually went and jabbed Superman in the chest.

B2 knew, in theory, how disputes went but he had no idea that they were this violent. He put in all of the factors and ran the probability of the two coming to an agreement. 7.68% had never been so terrifying. There was no reason to proceed with an argument that didn’t bring any significant change. But he did learn that volume of the voice was an important part of arguing, so he decided to toggle his settings.

‘You could never understand what kind of responsibility that is! I am-‘ Superman started up to defend himself but he was interrupted by B2’s amplified voice that ran at almost a deafening volume.  

‘STOP SHOUTING!’

Both Clark and Lex turned around, finally remembering that they weren’t alone in the room. B2 shivered a little under their gaze, unsure if they won’t assault him now.

‘I don’t understand the purpose of this argument or it’s volume but it seems like you’re experiencing anger which is very unproductive and can lead to lapse in judgement…’

‘Feel free to leave the room.’ Lex bit back immediately but B2 went on despite his better judgement.

‘…humans tend to be violent to each other during arguments…’ a hand landed on his shoulder and Clark looked down at him, back to his normal almost-calm self.

‘You’re right, it’s pointless. I’m sorry if we scared you.’ He finally withdrew his hand and B2 stared at that patch of his uniform, fighting the urge to immediately run back for decontamination.

Superman didn’t seem to notice his distress because he’d already turned to Luthor.

‘I have to report this to JL.’

‘All of it.’ and he was gone.

‘Oh I wish I had my gun ready.’ Lex inhaled sharply, gritting his teeth.

B2 was still staring at his shoulder in obvious displeasure and he flinched a little when he found Luthor glaring at him.

‘I hope you realise that you caused this mess.’

‘Yes. I misinterpreted the situation regarding Lena Luthor. I apologise.’ the boy responded quickly. Apologies were supposed to mean the end of the argument after all.

Luthor didn’t give him any reaction to analyse and turned his back on him to type at the lab computer.

The moment of tense quiet was broken up only when B2’s stomach started rumbling. He looked down at himself, brows furrowed, before checking his vitals. The odd noise came again and Luthor turned around to look at him curiously.

‘I think the noise is indicative of… intestine problems…?’ B2 guessed, checking his stats again.

‘It’s just the muscles in your stomach and intestines moving. When was the last time you ate something?’

‘Oh, I’ve been disconnected from the nutrient supply at the main ship during my journey. It seems I require sustenance, where do you keep your nutrition packs?’

‘No nutrition packs here, just food.’

Brainiac 2 frowned when the noise re-emerged and Lex sighed as he was forced to turn the computer off.

‘Come on.’ he said slowly, leading him outside of the lab back into the hall where the charity ball took place. It was still as messy as they’d left it, with windows broken, overturned tables, broken plates and crushed food on the floor and, most importantly, an alien ship right in the middle of it.

‘He didn’t even bother taking that to the laboratory. How the hell am I supposed to clean this up? Mr Hypocrite.’ Lex complained to himself, making his way through the wreckage to one of the few tables left standing. He picked up a plate at random and held it before the alien. 

‘There, hope you like caviar.’

B2 looked at the paste from black spherical shapes placed on something crispy and brown, analysing it slowly.

‘I have never eaten solid food.’

‘Well, chewing is the key.’ Luthor recommended dryly as he dropped it into his hands unceremoniously. B2 extracted a piece of it with his metal appendages, slowly taking it to his mouth. He made a sour face, or something as close to one as possible for Coluans with their minimalistic face expressions.

‘It has taste and texture. That’s very… off-putting.’ He decided to scan it again and run it through one of the earth’s search engines.

‘Caviar is a… food consisting of salt-cured roe of the Acipenseridae family.’ He immediately put the plate back on the nearest table, horrified.

‘We also have some pieces of pig and cow corpse, if you are interested.’ Lex added helpfully, collapsing down on one of the sofas before he even bothered to check for glass shards.

‘For food?’ the boy asked incredulously.  

‘For food.’

‘That is incredibly barbaric and complicated way to gain protein. No wonder you aren’t used to growing humans when you aren’t past the stage of growing your own stable food source.’ He commented immediately. Then he stuck the tip of his tongue out, surprisingly pink just like a human one.

‘The taste stays in my mouth.’

‘Please, be quiet.’ Luthor groaned from where he lay sprawled on the sofa, trying to will away a persistent tension headache.

At that exact moment, Conner floated in through the broken window, letting Lena down from his back. Her long red hair was windswept and she chuckled loudly. That is, until she noticed him lying there.

‘Lena…?’

‘I’m not talking to you.’ She announced coldly and ran back into her room.

Conner shrugged his shoulders with a sigh but Luthor seemed to take it harder.

‘And that’s how I lost a daughter.’ He muttered. Things couldn’t possibly get any worse.

‘She’s gonna be alright. Just give her a few days.’ Conner recommended as he walked over to give him a reassuring pat on the shoulder. Then he noticed B2 scanning all the dishes on the buffet table.

‘Why’s Brainiac Luthor junior still here?’ the boy was just opening his mouth to reply himself but Luthor beat him to it.

‘Because his spaceship is broken and Superman says so.’ Lex grumbled, making sure to pour his hatred and frustration into that one word.

‘Oh, I forgot… he didn’t know either… Well, that’s a shitstorm.’

‘I don’t understand, the weather is stable.’ B2 looked out of the window in confusion, forcing Luthor to heave a mighty sigh. The alien was going to be a piece of work.

‘But you didn’t do anything bad this time… well, at least compared to your previous stuff…’ Conner went on, trying to ignore the other person in the room.

‘Tell that to JL when they come knocking.’

Conner shook his head softly, sitting down next to him.

‘But Lena’s going to be alright with you. I can’t imagine I used to be desperate enough to tell Batman to take care of her instead.’

Kon snorted at that.

‘That is desperation.’

B2 seemed to return to scanning the plates without any great success.

‘There’s a potato salad in the bowl on the left.’ Luthor pointed out, voice resigned.

‘Does it have animal matter inside?’

‘Shouldn’t have.’

‘You’re not gonna go to jail.’ Conner said with absolute certainty.

‘What if I get A from my chemistry test and there won’t be anybody around to give me money for that?’ He raised a valid argument, and Luthor finally bothered to smile. Surprising even himself, Connor reached down and hugged him. After some time, he could feel Luthor hugging him back.

As soon as they broke off, Connor gave him a toothy grin.

‘Hang in there, mom.’

Brainiac 2 observed the interaction, a little disturbed.

‘Why do humans insist on making physical contact a part of their everyday interactions?’

‘So we now have a Coluan who can overhaul most of our current systems and has ties to Brainiac, on our planet and you didn’t think to call me?’

‘Good to see you too Bruce.’ Clark muttered, leaning back in the chair of the monitor room of the Watchtower. He was too tired to even react to Batman sneaking up on him again.

‘I was going to discuss that during the assembly tonight. He was quite bad at parking but he didn’t seem to pose a significant threat.’

‘And the fact that he’s Brainiac’s clone?’

‘Son, actually. The rest of his dna is Luthor’s.’ he corrected him matter-of-factly.

‘Why am I still surprised.’

‘Bruce…’ he turned the chair around to look him in the face, making sure that there was nobody listening on them. His tongue fell heavy in his mouth as he forced himself to continue.

‘He grew Lena too. She’s… my daughter…’

Batman averted his eyes with a sigh.

‘You knew?!’ Clark started accusingly.

‘It’s my job to know things.’

‘And you didn’t think to mention that?!’

‘I didn’t think it’d help if Lena found out this soon, preferably on her own.’

‘How does that relate to-‘

‘You can’t keep a secret, Clark.’ Bruce crossed his arms around his chest, covering himself with his cape.

‘He even asked me to… look after her if it comes down to the worst.’

‘He asked you?’ Clark asked him, disbelieving.

‘I’m good with kids.’ That earned him a raised eyebrow.

He turned his attention to the files displayed on their computer.

‘You raided his lab again?’

‘No, I nicely demanded to be let in.’ that was Bruce’s turn to raise his eyebrows.

‘Luthor has to be furious.’ He pointed out dryly.

‘I think B2 should keep him busy… and Lena…’ Clark sighed again.

‘She didn’t… take the news well…’

‘She’ll shake it off soon enough.’ Batman assured him.

‘So, what are you going to do now? Are you going to push for shared custody?’

‘Is… is that a joke…?’ Clark looked at him incredulously and one of the corners of Bruce’s mouth rose upwards in an almost-smile.

‘Really, at a time like this?!’

Bruce didn’t honour that with his comment and turned back to the files.

‘Let me handle that, I’ll just send it down to the batcomputer.’ Clark hesitantly stood up and let him take his spot in the chair.

‘What am I even supposed to tell her? Hello Lena, let me introduce myself again, turns out I’m your father?’

‘You could start with that.’ Bruce agreed calmly as he started clicking.

‘Whose father?’ Flash asked innocently from right next to them, as if he’d always been standing there. Clark had to stop himself from flinching but Batman wasn’t put off in the slightest.

‘Lena Luthor is half Kryptonian.’ He explained immediately and Flash gave Superman a sympathetic look which apparently still didn’t mean that he wouldn’t joke about it.

‘Oh, that has to be awkward. But it looks like you’re the good stuff, since he’s already at his second kid with you.’

‘But three is already pushing it a bit. It almost feels like we’re competing.’ Batman joined in, smiling again.

Clark groaned, trying to stay angry for a few more minutes as he felt he rightfully should.

‘I only raised one of them.’ He pointed out, trying to save his face.

‘I’d love to be a dad.’ Barry admitted suddenly.

‘You can borrow some of mine any day of the week.’ Bruce offered. He looked serious too.

‘I’d rather you kept those to yourself.’

‘Wait, what are you doing, isn’t it going to slow down the-?’ Clark objected when he saw Batman browsing through something on the computer in a sudden blur of activity.

‘That’s it. It’s all decoded.’ Bruce pointed out and all three of them leaned to the monitor.

‘That’s fast.’ Clark pointed out and Flash gave him a confused look.

‘What am I even looking at?’

‘Lab files about the newest Kent addition.’

‘Oh, there’s videos! Play a video!’ Barry nudged him, vibrating with excitement.

‘They’re numbered. Let’s see… Day 1.’

Clark scooted even closer.

It was a video from one of the cameras in the lab he visited just a while before, except it was running this time. There was a big tank right in the middle of the room, closed and filled with suspicious green fluid. Something was moving inside of it.

‘What’s the music?’ Clark asked immediately, confused by the sound that made it hard to understand what the scientists were saying to each other.

‘Mozart’s Piano Concerto no. 21 in C major, K. 4-’

‘Does that really make kids smarter?’ Barry interrupted Bruce quickly.

‘Dubious, but I guess Luthor needed to make sure.’

‘She is pretty smart. She’s building killer bots already, she showed me some blueprints.’ Clark agreed with a smile and earned himself disturbed looks from his friends.

There seemed to be a commotion in the lab, a sound of baby shrieking, and it drew their attention back to the screen. One of the scientists was already walking around with tiny Lena wrapped in green blanket. Barry let out a surprised yelp.

‘Wait, we missed the birth! Play that back.’

‘It’s a waste of time. They probably just took her out of the test tube and washed her.’ Bruce groaned, giving him a tired look. He understood that his friend was basically a walking Speed force energy battery, but sometimes he just seemed too charged up.  

‘You don’t know. And up the volume.’

‘That’s unnec-‘ Flash upped the sound before Bruce’s eyes could even register that he was reaching across the keyboard but Batman still knew, giving him a glare.

 ‘Shh!’ Clark cut them off sharply, all of his attention focused on the video.

The scientist now approached Lex and Mercy standing in the corner of the lab. He exchanged few words with the pair with Luthor giving him further instructions. The rest of the scientists ran around the lab, talking to each other in high excited voices with high fives and hugs all around. Probably their first time playing god for Lexcorp.

Luthor still didn’t take Lena from the scientist, sweating nervously. He motioned to Mercy who took Lena, very slowly, and actually showed Lex how to hold her properly. He watched her with surprising attention, not even bothering to criticise her this time. Finally, he seemed confident that he knew how to handle his daughter and took her in his arms. Some of his nervousness seemed to fall from him and he even tried rocking her a little. He beamed at Mercy, then at the scientist, with a smile so wide Clark had never seen it on him before. Surprisingly, he also gave everybody honest compliments, calling it the best project of his entire life without any hesitation.

Lena’s big round eyes stared at his face, dumbstruck with her mouth hanging open, as if she couldn’t quite understand what it even was she was looking at. Luthor carefully stroked her head with just the tips of his fingers as if she could fall apart any moment. She seemed to smile back at him, not entirely averse to it.

Then she suddenly broke out crying again, even louder this time and Luthor froze like a deer in the headlights, looking at the little bundle in his arms with enough terror you’d think it was a hydrogen bomb. It was painfully obvious that he’d never held a baby or anything vaguely resembling a baby in his life and didn’t have a single idea how it operated. He actually tried talking to Lena, asking her to tell him what was wrong before turning to Mercy to ask her the same question. One of the scientists ran over there with a bottle of milk.

The video ended.

 ‘It’s… not that horrifying, really.’ Barry commented immediately, voicing what they were all thinking.

‘Hm.’ Batman replied thoughtfully and clicked on Day 132.

The screen immediately switched from desktop to showing an empty white hallway.

Somebody was sneaking around with a camera through what Clark immediately identified as the top floor of the Lextower. You could hear Luthor’s voice from somewhere close and the cameraman seemed to approach him. Finally, there was a woman’s hand knocking on a door and the voice stopped. The hand pulled on the handle, revealing a giant room stuffed with toys for all ages from all materials.  From what the video showed, apart from more typical things like a playhouse, dolls and an entire minefield of building blocks strewn on the ground there were also some… unusual additions like stuffed toys of all three types of Eucaryotic cells, a life-sized model of Hartmann's mountain zebra, and an impressive ceiling mural of the Solar system.

Luthor was sitting in the middle of the room with Lena on his knees and a picture book laid before them. He immediately looked up, not even bothering with a greeting.

‘What does the goose say, Mercy?’ he asked instead, eyebrows furrowed. It seemed to have been bothering him for quite a while.

‘Honk, sir.’ she replied quickly.

‘Honk.’ Lex repeated with a huff.

‘That’s ridiculous.’ He muttered to himself. Then he finally seemed to process the fact that his servant was actually carrying a camera and his head whipped up again.

‘Are you filming me?!’ he asked, averse to the idea.   

‘You said I was supposed to film Lena everyday so that you can record her progress and you have something to show her when she grows up.’ She tried to defend herself, in vain.

‘But I keep telling you that I don’t have to be around for that.’

‘I actually think she’d find the videos more informative that way, seeing how you acted around her.’

Lex gave her a glare.

‘I’m turning it off.’ She conceded. The camera was still recording.

Lena cooed, looking at the two of them questioningly.

‘It’s nothing honey.’ Lex assured her softly, kissing her head, already covered with thick light hair, and turned his attention back to the picture book.

‘So like Mercy says, goose goes honk for some reason.’ he explained, pointing at the picture of the goose. Lena hit the picture with her tiny hand as if she tried swatting the animal, smiling all the while.

Lex then moved his finger to a spider drawn sitting in a web in the picture of the barn, continuing the lecture. 

‘And this animal is a spidey honey, it’s an arachnid, an invertebrate. It has eight footsies, four times more than the goosie. That’s this much.‘ he continued with the baby talk and showed eight on his fingers. Lena stared at him, startled that his fingers could actually do that. She tried flexing her fingers into similar shapes and let out another string of delighted sounds.

‘You see, and this doggie here-‘

Mercy couldn’t hold back anymore and sniggered. Luthor’s eyes were immediately back on her and he did notice the camera was still on. 

‘I could have your job for this.’ He warned her quietly, voice low and threatening, the exact opposite of how he spoke to his daughter few seconds ago.

The video ended and there was a short moment of silence before Barry commented on it.

‘She’s so cute.’

‘She is.’ Clark admitted slowly.

‘It looks like you don’t have any materials proving Luthor’s criminal activities.’ Bruce pointed out, looking through some of the decoded files.

‘And there are actually no laws about growing people yet.’ Flash joined in.

‘I know, but that doesn’t mean he can just make me a father every time he feels like it. I’ll have to explain this to Ma and Pa again. And to the entire Justice League.’ Clark let out a long sigh.

‘Well, that and the fact that Luthor’s son from the Coluan side came over for a visit.’ Batman added, ever precise.

‘B2 is Luthor’s too?! Damn. He really should be regulated, it’s like an alien baby factory.’ Barry let out a surprised chuckle, not bothered in the slightest by the news, somehow convinced Luthor was as harmless as they get now. He quickly abandoned that train of thought however, and turned his attention back to the screen.

‘Play another one. Some where she tries to speak.’

Bruce let out a long defeated sigh.

‘What are you doing here?’ a familiar voice asked from the doorway. Soon enough, Diana walked right to them, hands on her hips and a look of pure suspicion plastered on her face. To Clark’s horror, Barry quickly replied with:

‘Checking videos of the new superbaby.’

Clark froze, unwilling to look behind him at the hard stare Diana must be giving him right now.

‘The what now?!’ she asked, slowly and demandingly.

From the corner of his eye, he could actually see Batman wince. Barry let out a nervous chuckle.

Clark looked up at the ceiling as if in prayer as the lasso of truth dropped on him.

This was going to be a long night.

Chapter Text

Brainiac had just received a copy of all the new data 2.0 filed as important on his personal memory storage during the last 24 hours from the chip he had installed in his system as a part of the security measures that’d alert him to a possible treachery or, in the worst scenario, to his son’s planned attempt on his life. This time, however, the transfer was delayed significantly given the distance, and it was only now that Brainiac could start analysing the information, and immediately decided the matter required his personal attention.

The update this time consisted of a huge amount of data ranging from analysis of caviar to videos and information on Lena Luthor, biological daughter of Lex Luthor and specimen 2956B which was something that, Brainiac observed with surprise, seemed to trigger a release of adrenalin and cortisol hormones in his body. From this and other factors he could deduce that the creation of Lena Luthor made him feel… upset. And he preferred not to be upset.  

Somewhere in deep space, closing on sector 3, his skullship jerked to an abrupt stop and changed its course. New destination: sector 2814.

Meanwhile, sector 2814, planet Earth.

‘I hate the newspapers.’ Lex Luthor announced, downing a glass of whiskey. Mercy watched him closely, pulling the bottle away from him when he reached for a refill. It wasn’t even nine in the morning, after all.

Lex gave her a glare but when he met the determined ‘it’s for your own good’ look she did so well he had to give up with a groan. Brainiac 2 lifted his head up from where he was sitting at the opposite end of the table, interested in the interaction. He was eating a banana which Luthor forced him to peel beforehand (despite the nutritional value of its skin), chewing it fiercely with exaggerated jaw movements. The taste was lacking, but considering the only thing he liked so far was lemon, which wasn’t even supposed to be eaten according to humans, he wasn’t exactly surprised.

‘What is it sir?’ Mercy finally asked after what felt like an eternity, seeing that the mood of her employer wasn’t improving. He shoved today’s Daily Planet into her face without saying a single word.

‘Luthor hiding green lovechild.’ Mercy read, eyebrows high on her forehead.

‘Are the Brandt brothers still in business after all those years?’ he asked in his business voice.

‘I think so sir.’

‘Then order the ‘usual’.’

‘Forgive me but… I don’t think throwing Lois Lane off a building is the best course of action right now even if it’d improve your mood. The JL is probably still processing project Galatea.’ She said apologetically, laying the newspaper down on the table.

‘Journalists.’ Luthor spat the word out as if it was an insult of the worst kind and raised the glass to his lips again. He only had a single drop of alcohol left.

Lena arrived into the room in her pink pyjamas with strawberry yoghurt in her right hand and a very serious look on her face.

‘Good morning father, Mercy.’ She said coldly, head held high in some gesture of defiance.

‘Goo- good morning honey.’ Luthor managed without falling over in his chair from the shock. He didn’t think she’d come out of her room this soon.

‘Good morning Lena Luthor.’ Brainiac 2 chimed in, still processing the banana. She gave him a look of pure shock, bordering on horrified. He guessed that he didn’t leave the best first impression.

‘What is he still doing here?!’ she complained immediately.

‘He hasn’t repaired his ship yet.’ Luthor explained, opening up the newspaper again.

Lena sighed, crossing her arms over her small chest, and turned to the alien.

‘You’re… Brainiac 2?’

‘Correct.’ B2 said with something that resembled a smile.

‘Is that your actual name?’ he cocked his head to a side, as if to get better reception.

‘I don’t think that I have an ‘actual name’. But you could call me Vril Dox II, it means the same thing.’

‘We need to get you a better one.’ Lex mumbled from behind the newspapers. He did suggest Hannibal to Brainiac before, back when they started the project, but he wasn’t quite on board with it, if that empty stare he got in response was any indication.

‘Okay, ‘Vril’. You’re sitting on my seat.’ Lena warned him dryly.

‘I thought all of the seats were the property of Lex Luthor.’

‘You are occupying her preferred sitting spot.’ Luthor translated and B2 finally got the message and stood up with a confused expression.

‘Thank you.’ She finally got to sit down and dig into her yoghurt. What followed were few minutes of tense awkward silence, filled only with the sound of B2’s teeth scraping together as he chewed.

‘I’m late for school.’ Lena spoke up when she scraped the last bits of yoghurt from the sides of the plastic cup.

‘An alien broke into our house yesterday, I don’t think you should go to school.’ Her father noted.

‘I also found out that you’ve been lying to me my entire life yesterday.’ She added coldly, gritting her teeth. Her head started hurting like it was about to split in two.

Luthor stopped reading and neatly folded the newspaper. Under Lena’s piercing gaze, he took out a flash drive from his breast pocket.

‘There.’

‘What’s that?’ she asked, turning the thing over in her hand.

‘It’s all the data about you starting from the first day of the project.’

‘Only years too late.’ She retorted, bitter. Her brain hurt right in the space behind her eyes. Lex sighed, looking away.

‘At least you know that I didn’t give you any false memories now.’

‘Every normal newspaper and website says I’ve been around for years. I’m not that stupid to think you can fake them all. You just didn’t think I could handle it.’

 ‘Honey…’ he started softly, reaching out to touch her shoulder but she jerked away from him. Her headache got worse, as if responding to her mood shift, and her eyes were kind of itchy now, as if they were covered with ants.

Suddenly, the world turned red. Heat rays burst out from her eyes and cut into the furniture, igniting it immediately. Charity gasped, quickly stepping back while Mercy ran in closer, grabbing the gun at her hip to calm herself down.

‘Dad!’ Lena shrieked, unable to control herself. Everything she looked at caught fire and she couldn’t stop it. The fire sprinklers switched on.

‘She developed heat vision.’ B2 pointed out, quick to flatten his metal arms into a shield in front of his person.

‘It’s alright honey, just calm down. I can replace everything here, it’s nothing serious.’ Lex tried to placate her, voice gentle and steady as he walked to her despite Mercy’s attempts to hold him back. 

‘Dad.’ She managed, choking on her tears. She turned around and the ray managed to cut deep into Lex’s arm before Mercy knocked him down to the ground. Lena shrieked and immediately turned her back on them, eyes screwed shut, and blindly ran into her room, sobbing.

‘Wait!’ Lex shouted after her but he was in no shape to catch up to her. His previously smouldering clothes caught fire despite the sprinklers and Charity tried her best to tear them from him until B2 stepped in and showered them both in foam.

‘Don’t breathe it in or ingest it please.’ He recommended flatly and Charity gave a noncommittal grunt, spitting out the flakes that landed in her open mouth.

‘Then you shouldn’t be spraying that on wounds!’ Mercy shouted angrily as she shoved Charity back and started shovelling it from Luthor’s chest with her bare hands.

‘Correct.’ B2 replied, wincing.

‘What wounds? Mercy, follow her and-’ Lex ordered, shooting up from his position on the floor. He leaned on his right arm which gave in without a single warning and he collapsed back down with a loud thud.

‘Sir.’ Mercy sighed, still patient.

‘There’s a deep cauterised cut severing the muscle fibres of your deltoid along with a third degree burn around your arm. I recommend immediate medical assistance. Pursuing Lena Luthor is unnecessary and irrational in your condition and directly goes against instinct of self-preservation that you should be equipped with as a human being.’ B2 summed it up for him.

‘I should have something in my emergency kit.’ He added, and started rummaging through his suit.

‘I’ll call hospital and-‘

‘Call Clark, nobody else.’ Luthor ordered, face taut. He could feel the pain now, at least in the areas where his nerves weren’t burned off, but he couldn’t care less.  

‘I don’t think that’s-‘

‘We need to keep this out of the press.’ He interrupted Mercy again, stricter this time, and she finally reached for her phone.

‘He’s not picking u-.’ She announced after a while, but before she could finish the sentence, Clark Kent appeared, still in his civilian clothes.

‘What’s happened here?! I need to take you to a hospital! Where’s Lena, is she alright?’ the onslaught of words burst out of him immediately as he took in the situations and all participants, eyes darting from Luthor to Mercy, B2, and Charity, still kneeling on the floor.

Lex made an effort to sit up.

‘Her heat vision started. It was just an accident but she’s got herself worked up and…’

‘I understand.’ Clark replied immediately. He couldn’t see her because she was in her lead-lined room but he could hear her heart beating way-too-fast per minute. He leaned down to Luthor.

‘Could you just-‘

‘After I return.’ He cut him off again and disappeared for a second, leaving Lex alone and swearing in a room in Metropolis General Hospital.

‘Thank you.’ Mercy said earnestly, finally getting up. She didn’t even bother reaching for her gun this time.

‘Is anybody else hurt?’ he asked, looking them over.

‘I think I really need to wash out my mouth because-‘

A flash and it was Charity who disappeared this time. Clark shrugged his shoulders.

‘Just in case.’

‘She’s in her room.’ Mercy supplied and quickly pulled out her master key, but Clark refused to take it. He knocked at the door, struggling to remember when the heat vision started with him. Definitely not this early. He heard some movement in the room.

‘Lena? It’s alright, you can learn to control this if you-‘ the door opened before he could finish the sentence. Lena stood there, back straight and expression dead serious. There was still soft red light shining through the thin skin of her closed eyelids and in the spaces between her eyelashes.

‘I need to get out of here.’

‘So, that’s my safe-room. Well, was my safe-room. Lois got the house in the divorce.’ Clark explained, a bit sheepish, as he led her into the room. He definitely owed Lois some explanation after all this was over. Lena was still holding onto his arm from when he led her through the house, eyes screwed shut.

‘Why do you keep a safe room?’

‘Well, this one is mostly for Jon in case Doomsday arrives. He can sense us from afar.’ Another reason why it wasn’t smart to keep half-kryptonian hidden somewhere without JL knowing. He’ll have to remember that to throw it in Luthor’s face later.

‘There isn’t really anything you can destroy here and you know you can’t hurt me. It’s fine to open your eyes.’ She did, very reluctantly, first only looking down at the floor. There were still heat rays coming out of her eyes. Finally, she looked at him, slowly and carefully. The lasers hit his face and it tickled a little, but he didn’t let any discomfort show.

‘Everything’s going to be alright.’ He said softly, crouching down to look her in the eye. He reached out to touch her face but stopped himself mid-movement.

Lena looked at him, face still taut.

‘Do you mean me being your daughter or how I… almost killed my dad… Because that’s not going to be alright, ever.’ She said, almost without a hesitation, still maintaining eye contact.

‘Lex is fine, he’s had far worse. And it was just an accident, you can’t blame yourself for it.’ Clark replied immediately, choosing to leave the ‘I’m your father’ issue for a later time. She was still holding something in her hand, he noticed suddenly.

‘What’s that?’

‘Dad gave it to me. It’s data about me.’ Lena opened her fist, careful not to look down at it, and revealed a somehow unbroken flash drive.

‘There are some nice videos on there.’ Clark chuckled, remembering one in particular when a four year old Lena put on Lex’s shirt and tie and gave her best impression of him, ordering his employees around. They were too scared to deny her anything.

‘With me… as a kid…?’ she asked, brows furrowed.

‘Well of course.’

‘Then I guess I really grew up normally and it’s just me ruining everything.’ She frowned, breaking the eye contact.

‘You don’t.’

‘I do, I do. I contacted the aliens that tried invading Earth multiple times, I… I almost broke dad’s ribs and now his arm is toast because of me-‘

‘It’s not that bad. With all the technologies and specialists your dad has, it will heal just fine.’

‘I can’t even build a proper killer bot and Damian hates me because I stole his only friend…’ she continued, trying not to cry because she felt she’d already done her share of crying over the past few days even though Luthor’s weren’t supposed to cry at all. Her dad never did.

‘Damian is a bit bad at interacting with people. And I think he got over that already. He was asking about you.’

That got her attention, she perked up a little, eyes wide with surprise.

‘He was?’

‘He was.’

Her expression was still too serious with the forehead all wrinkled in concentration, and Clark couldn’t resist the urge to ruffle her hair. She looked up at him, caught completely off-guard.

‘Your braids are a mess.’ he observed. It had to be really bad when even he could spot those things with no knowledge of how long hair worked.   

‘I know.’ She sighed, actually rolling her eyes at him. She fell asleep without unravelling them and wasn’t exactly in the mood to ask dad to fix them for her this morning, but what was even the point of actually messing her hair up even more and then complaining?

Clark gave her a wide smile.

‘And see, your heat vision’s gone already.’

Surprised and a little disbelieving, she looked around to check and even put one hand in front of her eyes. Then she gave a short relieved chuckle and slid down to her floor as if all her small bones turned to jelly.

Clark watched her silently as she took in a deep breath, taking her time to study her surroundings again.

‘Can I live here…?’ she asked after a time, looking up at him.

Clark huffed, a little taken aback by that sudden request.

‘Lena… I know you want to protect him but your father would rather cut off both his arms then never see you again.’

‘He could see me… we can like, have video chats…’ she supplied slowly, looking down at her hands.

‘You will get the hang of it soon, I’ll teach you everything. Remember how we handled super strength? Even with everything going down you didn’t crush the flash drive, not even a scratch. You’d already made a habit of staying in control.’

‘I don’t know…’

Clark started pacing around the little room, desperate to come up with something sensible that would convince Lena to actually go back to her home. There was one thing but…

‘What if I call Conner? Ask him stay over at your place tonight.’

‘He would agree to that?!’ Lena’s head shot up.

‘Well, I can’t make any promises but…’

‘And my dad would-‘

‘Would do anything to get you back home safely.’ That much was true, but still. Clark chewed the inside of his mouth, wondering if he wasn’t just making things worse.

‘But only if Conner says yes. And if I can not set things on fire.’ Lena set down the conditions, ever the true negotiator, and sat down properly. The place was dusty and it was getting on her skirt.  

Clark let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding, sitting down on the cold floor as well.

‘Don’t you have to be like… at work?’ she asked, prompted by a sudden realisation.

‘Well, I always do. Nobody even notices when I’m gone… most of the time…’

She edged closer to him, trying to appear inconspicuous. Clark observed her with mild amusement, a little curious about what she was up to. When they were close enough that their sides were touching she looked up at him with her best puppy eyes.      

‘Would you do something for me… dad…?’ she asked softly and Clark did his best not to let his anxiousness show because this didn’t sound good.

‘Anything you want.’

‘Can I get some snacks and your wifi password?’ she asked in one breath, pulling out her expensive phone, decided to make the best of her current situation.

Clark chuckled and ruffled her hair again.

‘After you learn to control your heat vision.’

Lena looked at him sharply, pouting.

‘But you said anything.’

‘…his brain! Who does he think he is?! Dragging me off despite being expressly told not to. Superheroes always think they know best.’ Luthor slammed the doors to the penthouse shut, furious.

‘I have to say I agree with him on this point.’ Mercy countered quietly from where she was standing at his side, ready to catch him if he fell over. It wouldn’t be unlikely with the amount of drugs they pumped into him in such a short while.

‘It was nothing. See, they let me out immediately!’ he had an entire arm and half of his chest bandaged, which made it quite difficult to open a liquor bottle, as he was just finding out, a fact that didn’t help with his temper.

‘Only because you threatened the doctors and had a serious talk with the CEO.’ Mercy supplied patiently.

‘Immediately! Did he at least talk to Lena? Is she-’

‘She’s alright sir. She insisted on leaving the penthouse-’ his appalled expression immediately told her what he thought of the idea.

‘But you didn’t let her.’ He said warningly.

‘She told Superman to get her out of here.’

‘And you let him?!’ he hissed angrily, letting the bottle he was struggling with fall flat on the table. It didn’t shatter, contrary to his expectations, but at least made a nice loud sound.

‘He knows best how to control his powers. Isn’t that why you called him over in the first place?’ that earned her a loud groan because he was getting fed up with her being always right.

He decided to head for the fridge instead.

‘We’re picking her up. Call Chastity here and-‘

‘Or you can just call him.’ Mercy suggested.

‘I don’t thi-‘

‘Hello Lex Luthor.’ Brainiac 2 emerged from somewhere on the right where he presumably stood immobile for hours just to scare the shit out of people walking past him.

‘Brainiac 2? You’re still here?!’ Luthor managed after he got over his almost-heart attack, obviously annoyed.

‘Well, yes, as you can see. But I decided to use the time of your absence to improve your fire safety mechanism and your security system.’

‘Instead of repairing your spaceship?’ Lex pointed out, deadpan.

‘Well… yes…’ B2 slowly agreed, factoring in his displeasure.

There was a shriek from somewhere in the hallway and Mercy almost knocked him over as she tried to get him down to cover. The day was getting better and better.

‘Mr Luthor!’ Charity shouted as she ran towards them, ignoring the fact that Mercy had her at gunpoint.

‘Mr Luthor!’ she repeated as she finally spotted him. She looked like she’d just run away from a battlefield. Her hair was scorched in places, there were holes in her nice red dress and she held her shoes in one hand, now useless with the heels cut off at an irregular angle. It didn’t look like she was the threat, however, and Mercy pointed her gun down with a tired sigh.  

‘What took you so long?’ Luthor asked sharply. She was the one to drive him from the hospital, after all.

‘Mr Luthor, there’s lasers in the hallways…!’ she finally explained, gesturing to her shoes.

Lex slowly turned to B2, who was sweating too much to even deny his involvement.

‘It was just a… small flaw in my system.‘ they boy admitted.

‘Brainiac…’ Lex started in a low voice that promised eternal damnation.

‘I… must have forgotten that the woman also has access to your private apartment and didn’t add her into the system. I am sorry, Lex Luthor.’ he said softly, eyes downcast.

‘Why did you think this was even a remotely good idea?!’

‘You seemed… upset so I thought it best to raise your endorphin levels. I understand that I am a hindrance here and I wanted to be of use. But you are right, I am incapable of performing even the smallest tasks successfully, just as my father says. I will start the repairs to my vessel immediately.’ B2 stated apathetically and turned to leave, downhearted.

It actually made Luthor feel a little bad, considering that he was still just a boy trying hard to impress him and that he was biologically his son. He couldn’t remember a time when he wasn’t annoyed at the kid and as it stood, he wasn’t exactly acting like a father of the year.

He sighed, deciding it won’t kill him to make an effort in this case.

‘Wait, Vril. The… idea is appreciated. I admit my security system is outdated now, but the next time you start some project, it’s better to ask me first so that we can avoid some… unpleasantries…’ he said, trying to sound a little friendlier.

B2 stopped dead in his tracks and looked back at him, a little surprised.   

‘I will.’ He promised while nodding vigorously.

‘So, you added lasers to the hallways and programmed them to work with my face recognition system?’ Luthor continued conversationally.

‘And set up a force field around the building that activates during lockdown.’ B2 added.

Luthor blinked a few times, pleasantly surprised for a change.

‘You managed that in the few hours I was gone?’

‘Yes.’ B2 admitted slowly, as if worrying that he’d made the mistake of his life.

‘That’s a great idea actually. Good job.’ Lex gave him a small smile to which B2 replied with an incredulous stare.

‘Good job…?’

‘Yes, good job.’ he repeated, puzzled at the reaction.

‘Good job.’ B2 breathed out, as if committing the phrase to his flawless memory and both corners of his mouth rose up. His cheeks seemed to turn a little greener.

‘You don’t get praised often?’ Lex hazarded a guess.

‘That is the second praise I’ve received in my life.’

‘Brainiac 1 is bad with affection?’

‘I don’t think he is familiar with the concept.’ The alien stated. His expression soured slightly at the mention of his other parent, before he turned his attention back to Luthor.  

‘But, you seem to be good at it. You exercise affection on your daughter successfully.’

‘Well, I try.’ Lex replied honestly.

B2 started walking to him, little nervous, and grabbed his sleeve. That seemed to be the closest contact he was capable of and Luthor was a little impressed the Coluan even went this far. The boy lifted his green eyes to him, demanding his attention.  

‘Given that I also have half of your dna, and that my intellect is even superior to Lena Luthor’s, I believe that… I am also entitled to your affection…’ the alien managed, looking at him gravely.

‘Do you want a hug?’ Lex asked, lifting one eyebrow.

‘Is all human affection physical?’

‘Well, significant parts of it. It… assures you of the others presence and protection and has soothing effect on the psyche.’ Luthor invented an explanation on the spot, rather unhappy with it.

‘That does seem like a logical reason to engage in physical contact. I would like to experience a hug.’ B2 conceded finally, after some contemplation. As Lex hugged him he stood still, paralyzed like a deer in the headlights, trying not to think too hard about the hands closing around him.  

‘Thoughts?’ Luthor asked immediately after letting go of, noting the boy’s expression.

‘It… didn’t live up to the expectations. I need to shower. And you smell… strange.’

‘Sandalwood and cedar cologne.’

‘Are trees attractive to humans?’

‘No. But it’s a pleasant smell for most.’

That didn’t seem to ease his confusion any, but he decided to change the subject.

‘I like how you altered your tone and expression. It does have a calming effect.’

‘I’m glad. I just need to make a call now but…’

‘But?’ B2 urged him on, hopeful.

‘I’ll have a look at the ship after, the repairs would go faster in two.’

‘That is a good idea.’ he decided, touching his sleeve again.

The call went through without any warning and Clark started talking immediately.

‘Luthor? How are you? What did the doctors say?’

‘That you had no business dragging me there against my will.’ Came the dry reply.

‘Your arm was way past well-done passing into overcooked, so it was my job to save you from yourself. As usual.’

‘And Lena?.’

‘She is alright, we’re in the safe room. She got the heat vision back under control already.’ There was shuffling on the other end, before a different voice chimed in. It was Lena.

‘I’m sorry dad. Are you alright?’

‘I’m just fine. Nothing’s wrong honey, you don’t need to be upset. How is it there, bearable?’ Luthor replied quickly, glad that to hear her voice.

‘I have chips and tv.’

‘That’s good. I’ll come pick you up an-‘

‘No! You can’t! I’m not safe.’ She cut him off harshly.

‘Don’t be silly honey, we’ll work it out together.’

‘Uncle-um, I mean Clark is working on it now.’

‘But if you can control it already-‘

‘But what if I freeze you next time?’

‘You won’t.’ he sighed.

‘I can’t stand it here without you. I’m sorry for everything, I couldn’t be sorry enough but please tell me you’re coming back home. I will make it up to you, I swear.’ He added honestly, getting desperate.

‘I almost killed you dad.’ She stated, matter-of-factly.

‘You’d have to try harder than that.’

There was a moment of tense quiet.

‘I love you honey.’

‘I know.’ There was a long significant pause before she continued, a little hesitantly.

‘I love you too dad.’

‘Thank god.’ Lex muttered to himself quietly.

‘I guess I can… stay overnight at the Penthouse…’ she started.

‘But Conner has to be there too.’

‘He can move in here if you like.’ He suggested immediately.

‘Really?’

‘I’ll get the entire Justice League if it’ll make you feel better.’

Lena seemed to think that over.

‘Hm, no I think I’m good. But we’ll talk about the Connor moving in thing. I like that.’

 ‘I… actually wouldn’t mind either. I pay for most of his things already so it wouldn’t make much of a difference. We know where he lives so we just need to kidnap him now.’

‘Dad…’ she chuckled. There was someone talking on her side and she seemed to respond to the voice, grunting and hm-ing a few times.

‘Clark wants to talk to you.’ She summed up.

‘Alright.’

‘Bye dad, see you in few hours.’

‘Bye honey.’

Some more shuffling and then Clark picked up the phone.

‘Lex? I hope you don’t mind about Conner, I just tried to-‘

‘Thank you.’ He hung up.

Chapter Text

‘…but you gotta go to the Asylum. You stepped on my Experimentation Pens, trauma and torture lands you in asylum-‘

‘And killing people gets me into the Asylum, bankruptcy gets me into the Asylum, and falling through a gap in the space time continuum gets me where? Asylum. I’m bloody stuck there and my sanity is high enough-‘

‘No! You weren’t listening! If you fall through a gap in space time continuum you’re permanently dead unless you own a Clone Factory or get the Alternate Universe Doppelganger card. You should know that. It’s in the Monopoly rules.’ Lena threw her hands down, exasperated. Connor too, was just about running out of patience.

‘This isn’t Monopoly.’ He corrected her coldly.

‘It isn’t?’ B2 asked curiously, looking up from the board for a moment.

‘This is a bloody convoluted three-hour conquest of all known universe.’

Lena fidgeted a little where she was sitting right opposite him.

‘Well… dad might have changed it a little, but the base game was too straightforward…’

‘Your manual has like fifty pages.’ Kon cut her off, arms crossed over his chest defensively.

‘It is short but incredibly instructive.’ B2 leapt in to defend it, not entirely getting the point of the argument.

‘…you didn’t read it…’ Lena realized with a shock.

‘Of course not, I know how to play Monopoly!’

‘I told you to read the manual. You’re just angry because you’re losing.’ She pointed out, moving his piece back on the Asylum.

‘I’m angry because I don’t get this stupid game.’ Connor groaned and put the piece back on the Experimentation Pens, apparently decided to be stubborn.

The door to Lena’s room opened carefully and Luthor poked his head in. He took in the three of them, fooling around and not in any apparent danger, and frowned.

‘What’s with the ruckus?’ then he noticed the board spread in the middle of the floor.

‘Are you playing Monopoly?’

‘This isn’t Monopoly!’ Connor exclaimed immediately. Lex was a little taken aback by how a thing like that could be a sore subject and took good look at the situation.

‘You got him stuck on the Experimentation Pens? Simple but effective.’ He praised Lena automatically, it was a strategy she employed every time they played together. Then he put on his serious face and turned back to Conner.

‘Stop whining and just call in your Etraction Team.’

‘My what?’ the teenager asked, giving him a blank stare.

‘He didn’t read the manual.’ Lena explained simply, prompting both Conner and Luthor to sigh at the same time.

‘Why are you all awake at five in the morning?’ Lex changed the subject, finally getting to the important question.

‘I just… didn’t want to lose the time I have with my brother around just sleeping…’ Lena explained, not even bothering to look sorry.

‘She woke me up at half past three in the morning.’ Kon sighed again, this time with a touch of desperation.

‘He said he was planning on getting up soon today! And B2 was already awake.’

‘I don’t require more than four hours of sleep that I usually split into multiple sessions throughout the day. If necessary, I can forego sleep without any immediate impact to my performance.’ B2 added exhaustively. He straightened his cards again, impatient to get back to the game despite the interruptions. 

‘Did we wake you up dad?’ Lena asked, apparently taking in Luthor’s tired expression.

‘No, I was… staying up late.’ And woke up half an hour ago from a terrible soul-shredding nightmare. 

‘You should get back to bed.’ He commented, looking the kids over.

‘I won’t fall asleep now.’ His daughter announced immediately and the two nodded, albeit a little hesitantly.

‘Well…’ Lex started before a yawn broke his sentence.

‘…let’s get breakfast then.’ He finished, wiping the tears from his eyes.

‘That is a good idea, your food has low nutritional value, so I need to consume big quantities of it throughout the day.’ B2 quickly got up and walked over to him to grab hold of his sleeve. It seemed that amount of contact was pleasant for him. Lena watched him in disbelief before she almost shot up from her place on the floor to hung onto Lex’s other free arm. She made sure to give the Coluan a mean look.

‘What is the purpose of your expression?’ he asked, trying to process her.

‘He was my dad first.’

‘That is incorrect, I was the first to-’

‘Actually-’ Conner got up, probably ready to cause even more havoc.

‘Alright, alright, I love all of you and please let me move.’ Luthor said sternly, a little unhappy about the fact that he was stuck in one spot with two superpowered individuals each tugging at one of his arms.

Lena chose that moment to look up at him with her big green eyes.

‘But you love me the most, right dad? Even after the… accident…?’ she asked, a little hesitant, and Lex couldn’t help but kiss the top of her head in reassurance.

Vril watched the interaction with mixed feelings before finally deciding to plaster himself even closer to his father.

‘What’s for breakfast?’ Connor asked, ever practical, as he slipped around the trio and out through the doors.

‘What do you want?’ Lex asked as he followed him, dragging the kids with him.

‘Hamburger and fries.’

‘Ice cream.’ Lena added her suggestion.

‘I’d be happy with a mixture containing the daily dose of protein, fat, saturated fatty acids, carbohydrates, sug-‘

‘I’ll see what I can do.’ Luthor replied, cutting B2 off effectively. They slowly got into the hallway and then into the living room before Connor finally bothered to ask about the boxes strewn all around the place.

‘Are you guys… moving somewhere…?’

‘No, of course not.’

‘What are those boxes then?’ he pointed at one of them with a frown, 50% sure something could jump out of them and end his life.

‘You can’t tell? That’s all your worldly possessions in one room.’ Luthor replied casually and Connor’s jaw dropped almost instantly.

‘What…? Did you just… steal all my stuff overnight?!’ he poked his head into the box, pulling out one of his textbooks. He turned it over in his hands, staring at it in disbelief, before he suddenly dropped it on the floor like it bit him. His mouth twitched open and close, quite like a fish trying to catch a breath on the shore. Finally, he managed to speak up.

‘That’s bloody evil. And ma and pa Kent-‘

‘You wanted to say your goodbyes? Well… that’s awkward… But I can promise you’ll forget about them soon enough.’

‘You-’ Connor’s eyes widened in shock and cold sweat broke on his back, but Lena was quick to calm him down before he could start to act on any of the feelings taking rapid turns inside of him.

‘He’s just joking. We wanted to ask you to move in with us.’ 

‘Is harm to relatives consider funny on Earth?’ B2 asked, brows furrowed.

‘Usually, you do that before moving people in without their consent.’ Kon remarked dryly.

‘I hate wasting time. And besides, you’re agreeing.’ Lex announced, ever considerate.

‘I mean, your place is neat, don’t get me wrong, you live in a bloody skyscraper, but I actually have a life back in Smallville with school and all-‘

‘Then you’ll just get your morning exercise flying there every day. Homeschooling is also an option, I think I owe you a lesson or two about our family heritage.’ Luthor went on, unbothered.

‘Are you serious?’

‘Also, you’ll only sign as Conner Luthor Kent from now on. Or Conner Luthor, if you want to shorten that.’

‘You are serious.’ The realization that this thing really was happening and that Luthor wanted his failed project back slowly dawned on Connor. Years ago, he used to have nightmares about that, but now, he was just mildly conflicted.

‘Does Clark know?’ he had to ask.

‘I don’t see why he should but the Kents should have already called that in and seeing that he failed to fly in and stop me by now, I’d say he agrees.’ Lex’s logic was spot on, as usual.

‘I… that’s crazy… you can’t expect me to decide on the spot.’ Kon threw his hands around, gesturing at the towers of crates that surrounded them.

‘You don’t have to, I’ve done that for you.’ Luthor repeated patiently and tried to nudge his other kids to get them to make even a single step toward the kitchen, considering the matter closed.

Lena, however, forgot all about food and instead tried helping their cause by listing all the reasons her brother should stay with them forever.

‘It’s gonna be fun, we’ll play Monopoly again... or some game that you actually know how to play. And you’ll save dad from me if I get out of control.’

‘Lena…’ Connor sighed, feeling all of his determination drain under the gaze of her puppy eyes.

‘I’ll think about that guys, okay? But everybody back at Smallville is probably freaking out by now so I gotta go. I’ll see if I… leave the stuff here or like… carry it back…? Damn, that’s a lot of stuff…’ he looked at the boxes again, unsure of what to do about that mess.

‘Please Kon, we’re gonna be a family. You’re my brother.’ Lena pleaded.

‘I’ll… think about it, yeah? I can’t promise anything.’

‘Dad…’ she tugged Lex’s sleeve, sending him the desperate command to do something, anything, because Connor was about to leave them.

‘If you choose correctly we’d be glad to have you.’ Luthor said simply.

‘Mh, alright.’ Kon forced himself to nod and at loss of what to do next flew out of the penthouse at full speed, almost hitting a nearby skyscraper. The room went quiet for a while, as if it was holding its breath, before B2 chose to make one of his observations.

‘You do know that in his absence we can split Lex Luthor’s time and affection in half whereas we’d need to settle for a third with Kon El present.’

Lena gave him a scandalized look.

‘What?! I get 80% no matter who’s around. You can split the rest. And you’ll be leaving soon anyway.’

‘I was generous and considerate because of Lex Luthor’s emotional attachment to you but anything else than 50% is insulting to me, seeing that I’m superior to you in every way.’

‘I could literally tear your head off for that.’ Lena pointed out, dead serious.

B2 looked at her closely and quickly ran a few simulations in his head. His robot arms shot out of his back and pointed at her, battle ready.

‘You could try.’ He said without blinking.

 ‘You two will get along. That means no murdering each other.’ Luthor ordered, stepping in between them, and stared them down. After a while, he got some very hesitant nods.

 ‘Now, I said we’re getting breakfast and I expect you can do that without any other incidents. Are we clear?’

‘Clear, Lex Luthor.’ B2 relented almost immediately, but it seemed Lena had her doubts.

‘But you gotta admit I’m right about the 80%, dad. You can’t tell me he suddenly gets all your attention because you just remembered he existed now.’ She pouted, used to having the say around here.

‘Not all of the attention, you’ll still have plenty. B2 never had a proper family, honey. Wouldn’t it be nice if he got to see what it was about?’

‘Hm.’

‘It’s just until we fix the ship. And maybe few extra days, no more than a week. You can share me for a week, right?’ Lex petted her hair gently. She looked up at him, lips pursed and brows furrowed.

‘No.’

‘…so I don’t know if he’ll stay with us...’

‘I wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t I mean, your dad is terrifying…’ Jon observed. He didn’t really see Connor all that often but that didn’t mean he’d deserve to stay with somebody like Luthor.

‘I think Conner’s okay with him. It’s not like your dad does anything for him.’

‘Our dad you mean.’ He pointed out and Lena’s head snapped around immediately.

‘You heard that too?’ she asked, making a point of whispering.

‘It’s horrible.’ Jon sighed, then, when saw her expression quickly added:

‘I don’t mean my dad. Just the… entire thing. About you not having a mum.’

‘Well, at least that means my dad didn’t have her killed like I thought before because she never existed in the first place.’ Lena reasoned calmly.

‘You… you thought your dad killed your mum? And it didn’t bother you?’ the color drained from his face.

‘Well, I didn’t know her, and dad always does things for a reason. Except when it comes to Superman.’

Jon sighed and went back to doodling in his notebook.

‘About that… wouldn’t your dad want to move in with us too?’ Lena added suddenly.

‘What?’ the pen slipped out of his hand and rolled down to the floor.

‘I mean, if Conner does move in I don’t see why you couldn’t. Your apartment is horrible anyway and we got all the space… Not to mention that he is my dad so he should try to stay with me.’

‘I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t want to. Your dad still didn’t give up on crime.’ Jon answered quickly, voice a little muffled as he bent over for the pen, but still managed to make it pretty obvious that he wasn’t entirely sold on the idea.

‘Why is everybody so hung up on that anyway. Dad does about 76% legal things now and the rest is just silly petty things nobody’ll ever know about.’

‘He can’t be trusted.’ Her ‘brother’ replied in all seriousness, making Lena groan.

‘Do-gooders…’

‘Just a bunch of fucking hypocrites in suits.’ A voice behind them added, to their surprise. Jon recognized it almost immediately.

‘Damian!’

‘Hey…’ the boy breathed out the first greeting he could think of and walked to the front of their desk as if he owned the place.

‘Why did you skip the first less-?’

‘What do you want?’ Lena interrupted Jon’s boring questions and jumped straight to the big mystery. Damian’s face turned sour.

‘I thought that we were cool again. I apologized.’

‘So?’ she lifted one of her eyebrows up, as if daring him to continue.

‘So Jon can come back to his normal spot.’ He finished, shrugging his shoulders.

‘Can I?’ Jon asked incredulously, looking at her as if she currently owned his very existence.

‘Hm, whatever.’ Lena muttered, trying not to let any feelings show as she watched him grab his bag and almost dance his way back to his old desk.

Damian was still standing at the same spot, sweating nervously, before he gave himself a mental kick and plopped down into the now vacant chair next to her.

‘Damian?’ Jon called out, confused about what was going on, unsure his friend was in a right state of mind. A concern Lena happened to share.

‘What are you doing?!’

‘The view back there sucks.’ Damian muttered a random excuse, flexing his shoulder.

‘I’m pretty sure it’s identical. And there’s a lot of free chairs, why do you need to sit right next to me?’ she asked, increasingly suspicious. Damian refused to look her way and instead stubbornly stared at the blackboard. His cheeks turned red.

‘No reason.’

‘Mercy?’ Luthor called out when he heard the doors open without bothering to turn around. There was no answer.

‘Did you call the Kents yet?’ he shouted out and even stopped paging through his dossiers just so he’d catch the eventual reply. There was nothing except a sound of heavy deliberate footsteps followed by a quiet whirring noise and Lex stiffened. That wasn’t Mercy, that wasn’t even anybody from his security detail. He forced himself to swallow around the lump in his throat before he spoke up again, calm and level.

‘I believe the correct phrase is ‘Good afternoon’, Brainiac.’

The footsteps stopped next to the sofa he was sitting on.

‘I did not come here to attend a lecture on human etiquette, Lex Luthor...’ A deep monotone voice stated, right behind him.

‘…but according to my analysis, it’d be preferable to start with ‘It’s been a while’.’

Chapter Text

‘It has been a while.’ Luthor admitted slowly, trying not to let his nervousness show. He could almost feel Brainiac looming behind him, like some dark menacing supernatural presence.

‘I’d offer you a drink, but I doubt you’d appreciate the gesture.’ He continued, forcing himself to stay calm and nonchalant.

‘That is correct.’ The alien replied in the same monotone voice. Even though he must have crossed hundreds of lightyears, jumping through every imaginable dimension to get to Earth this quickly, he now seemed almost unhurried.

The metal tendrils protruding from his back too moved slowly, certain their prey would make no move to escape now. As they stretched around Luthor, they first just gently brushed along his arms before they encircled him, slowly tightening their grip. When they closed around his chest, Brainiac could finally process Luthor’s emotional state better. He could feel his heart pounding violently, even though the man paid utmost care to keep his breathing even and his expression calm. He processed the information carefully.

‘Are you afraid? Or perhaps worried?’ he hypothesized. Despite their numerous collaborations, the human’s inner workings had always remained a mystery to him. He cocked his head to one side, intrigued, but otherwise showed no reaction.

‘Should I be? What do you want?’ Luthor evaded his question, voice still strong and level.

Before he even bothered to answer the question, Brainiac used the arms coiled around him to lift him up from the sofa, as easily as one might pick up (?) a child, and forcibly turned him around to face him. Even to a Coluan, talking while facing the other way seemed disrespectful.

For the first time since he broke into the building, Luthor finally bothered to look at Brainiac, now right in front of him. Once again, he was caught off guard by the sheer size of him. He himself was close to 190 centimetres, and the fact that he had to look up at the alien, at least an entire head taller than him, unnerved him. He even had the same perfect kind of physique Superman did, with hard wide chest and even wider shoulders.         

Before he’d noticed it, his eyes were sliding down that body and he had to tear them off and focus them on Brainiac’s face, even though the alien must have caught him staring long before that. His face, the colour of summer grass, wore the usual neutral expression, but his eyes were wide and curious. He too, was studying Luthor, and it made the other man a little self-conscious.

The immense relief he felt since Brainiac had passed a perfectly good chance to tear him apart limb from limb slowly faded as the alien kept analyzing him in silence. He used the tendrils, still wrapped closely around Luthor like a loose metal cocoon, to turn him a bit this way and that way so he could see him from all angles.

‘Fascinating.’ Brainiac finally bothered to speak up.

‘What is?’ Luthor groaned, still suspended few centimeters above the floor and already running out of patience at being manhandled so casually.

‘Under some impulse of emotional origin I was considering killing or maiming you on my way here but now it seems I’m glad to see you now.’ The Coluan explained matter-of-factly.

‘It must be my personal charm.’ Brainiac seemed to consider that option before he cocked his head to the side again.

‘I have no way to measure that.’ He declared finally and seemed to continue his research on his very limited emotional experience.

‘Let me go.’ Lex ordered coldly. The immediate reaction surprised him a little - he landed back on his own feet before he finished the sentence.

 ‘I expect you tracked B2 here.’ Luthor changed the topic, fully intending to actually find out Brainiac’s objective by the end of the day. It didn’t seem likely the alien would try to attack him now and might even be in one of his rare good moods when he’d spend hours talking about the new scientific inventions and his own theories. Somehow, Lex was still unable to believe that the Coluan would use the occasion of picking up his son to sit down and chat after all those years.

‘Yes. He represents an important investment on my part, and he is to return to me.’

‘On your part? He was my project and I put in all the work.’ He added, a little offended, as he straightened his tie. Both his shirt and suit jacket were wrinkled all over and it annoyed him that he couldn’t exactly do anything about it now.

‘That is correct. Despite my vast intellect I cannot compete with your creative genius and your impressive ability to improvise and do without even the resources thought to be essential.’

That quick and honest reply caught him completely off guard. He turned his attention from the mess his clothes were reduced to and looked Brainiac straight in the eyes.

‘You didn’t come here just to fetch 2.0, did you?’

It seemed to be the Coluan’s turn to be surprised, or at least as surprised as he could get. Which didn’t turn out to be much aside from raising one eyebrow.

‘As a matter of fact, there is a project I wished to discuss. Your power of deduction is admirable.’

‘Well, you were actually praising my primitive human intellect for one-’

‘I am not aware of any conscious choice about that on my part.’

‘And you got one arm under my shirt.’ Luthor added nonchalantly, looking down to highlight his point. Brainiac for some reason seemed oddly insistent on holding onto him, and only managed to leave him alone for a minute or so after he was explicitly told to ‘let go’. Maybe he thought he was being inconspicuous, snaking one tendril under his shirt from the back and coiling it around his chest, but it felt like getting a hug from a snake made out of ice.

He didn’t even bother to deny it.

‘I recall in depth massage always lifted your fluctuant human mood, especially when you displayed signs of anger or frustration. I observed that logical reasoning tends to deteriorate when humans are in a negative emotional state and it’d be best to negate the possibility of misunderstanding on your part before we proceed.’ Brainiac reasoned.

‘You aren’t seriously considering doing that here?’ Lex asked in disbelief, looking around the living room. He’d only agreed to play the scientist with Brainiac once before, and it wasn’t exactly like he’d regretted it, but the fact the other man would bring it up now with little to no reason was incredibly suspicious. Not to mention that there was no telling when somebody from his security detail would wake up and walk in on them. Unless they weren’t all dead. That’d ruin his mood a little, he had to admit.

‘Why would I mention if I wasn’t considering the possibility?’ Brainiac asked, stoic as usual.

‘And you wouldn’t happen to do it just to distract me from some of the more pressing matters, would you?’ he asked, taking the two steps that separated them. Brainiac’s eyes stayed fixed on him, observing him with strange intensity, and he didn’t withdraw even if their current position meant the human could breathe pathogens on him. Luthor found it surprisingly flattering.

There was still no answer and he dared to put one hand on his chest, right in the center of it, and left it plastered there just to see how the Coluan would react. He seemed to wince a little, one corner of his mouth drawn down, but made no move to get away.

‘Your heartbeat is elevated.’ Luthor observed with a self-satisfied grin and Brainiac looked away from him, as if embarrassed. Instead of a proper response, the arm under his shirt just coiled further around his chest. The alien was acting odd.  

Against his better judgement, something almost urged Lex to comfort him and he moved to touch his face when B2 suddenly ran into the room, immediately ruining the something that was hanging in the air.

‘Father…?’ B2 managed, almost choking on his words, as he skidded to a halt. It seemed that he’d come out of the laboratories only to find all of the guards lying on the floor and in panic ran to find Luthor, but couldn’t have chosen a worst moment to barge in.

Lex’s head snapped around quickly and he immediately removed his hand from the Coluans chest, with a guilty look of a child caught stealing a cookie jar.

‘What is it?’ Brainiac demanded angrily, turning his eyes to his son. He refused to let go off Luthor and even coiled more of his arms around him, to everyone’s dismay.

‘I…’ B2 started, staring at the two of them wide-eyed.

‘We weren’t planning on doing anything weird.’ Lex said to clarify, only half sure that he wasn’t lying. He tried to untangle himself from the Coluan, impatient to put some distance between them and disperse that awkward situation, but there was no give.

B2 was still unable to utter a single word more and Brainiac turned away from him, seeing that he failed to take up less than 20 seconds of his time.

‘Leave the room now.’ he ordered, but it had just the opposite effect as B2 walked closer to them, finally shaken B2 from his daze.

‘How did you find me? I mean… I can explain everything!’ he started, completely ignoring the order or maybe just failing to register it.

‘I’ve been monitoring your activities ever since your birth. Of course I am aware that you withheld information from me, acted without my consent and furthermore completely failed at keeping your very existence a secret. I thought my expectations sufficiently low, but I will have to lower them still.’ His father explained dryly, not bothering to look away from Luthor.

‘I am sorry father…’ B2 whispered softly, completely humbled. 

‘Well, that’s one way to fail at parenting.‘ Lex pointed out, unsurprised.

‘You do not approve?’

‘No, of course not. He needs some positive enforcement too. It’d stimulate him in his studies and make him more likely to rely on you. Not to mention children usually need to feel attached to you if they aren’t to stab you in the back.’ He continued matter-of-factly, trying and failing to hide the fact that it pleased him immensely to be considered an expert on this particular subject.

‘That is a valuable input. Human methods for dealing with children seem time consuming but in their essence very pragmatic. I wouldn’t be against seeing ‘parenting’ applied against 3.0.’ Brainiac announced as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Luthor gave him a disbelieving look.

‘You have another child?!’

‘Not yet.’

‘Oooh.’ was the reaction that B2 could presently come up with.

Luthor was a little worse off, finding it quite impossible to talk but finally stuttered out ‘Is that why you came here?!’ in a voice a bit higher than usual. It didn’t seem to put Brainiac off.

‘Provided that I didn’t kill you upon our encounter. I rather think that I was in a strangely emotional state when I learned about Lena Luthor.’

When there was no reply he took it as his cue to continue.

‘From my information I deduced that you’d reached new level of mastery over genetic manipulation and I can imagine the results would only improve if you were to work with better genetical material.’

Lex let out a long, tired sigh.

‘Well, it’s flattering, but if I grow you another kid now, the JL would kill me.’ Both Coluans looked at him strangely.

‘Metaphorically.’ He added, just to make sure.

‘The Justice League won’t pose problem further than two sectors away from Earth.’ Brainiac pointed out slowly, well aware that might be the key issue, and all the pieces finally slid into place. Luthor made a valiant effort at breaking free but only succeeded in shaking off two of the tendrils so he settled for hissing in his green face.

‘You…!’

‘You came to kidnap Lex Luthor, father?’ B2 asked innocently, apparently long used to those methods from him.

‘Only if he wouldn’t depart willingly. Otherwise it wouldn’t fit with the definition of the verb kidnap.’

‘Naturally.’

Lex used the quick exchange to get some time to think. When Brainiac looked back to him, spit landed on his face and he let the human go, almost by instinct, scrubbing his cheeks in panic. Luthor ran for the broken window.

‘Father-‘ B2 squeaked out as he run after Luthor to catch him before he could jump off even though he wouldn’t possibly make it.

Brainiac recovered too quickly and one of the tendrils wrapped around his leg, a single meter from the edge, and pulled him up into the air, head down.

‘Su-‘ Lex started shouting but got immediately silenced with another arm over his mouth.

B2 looked at him with real fear in his eyes.

‘He was trying to terminate himself!’

‘Negative. I have infiltrated his system and disposed of his guards. He is unable to overpower me or defend himself without his suit, so he relied on specimen 2956B saving him from the fall and mobilizing the Justice League. He demonstrated quick and decisive thinking.’ Brainiac explained and one of his tendrils started petting Lex’s bald head as a reward for impressing him again. Luthor, however, was too furious to appreciate the gesture and squirmed in his bonds like a worm on a hook.

‘I take this to mean you do not wish to leave the Earth.’ Brainiac observed, a little disappointed.  

The boy apparently couldn’t stand watching it and he turned to him pleadingly.

‘Please leave him alone, father, he is very unhappy, and it is exerting emotional pressure on me.’ there were tears forming in his eyes. The other Coluan didn’t seem bothered in the slightest as he analyzed the scene.

‘Parenting seems to be very impactful even if exercised for short periods of time.’

‘Father-‘ B2 started up again, protesting, but a small needle already burrowed into Lex’s neck. The hold on him loosened a little but he only managed to mutter ‘Lena is-‘ before falling unconscious. Brainiac rearranged his dead weight in his metal arms to carry him better.

Finally, he turned to his startled son.

‘You seem to have formed an emotional attachment to him. I would estimate you should be glad to stay in his company even while on board of the ship.’

‘I am but… what about his daughter. He will miss her. And maybe even specimen 2958C...’

‘Both of them made using Kryptonian dna. I do not wish to encourage his obsession with a pointless extinct race.’

‘I would hypothesize that it is only a single member of the race he is interested in and that it could theref-.’ B2 pointed out the obvious error in his father’s logic but was suddenly cut off by an unusually strong reply.

‘I don’t care.’ Brainiac raised his voice, displaying very obvious signs of anger. He swung at the air right in front of B2’s face with one of his free tendrils and there was a loud crack like a whip. If it’d been few centimeters closer, it’d take off his nose.

B2 started shaking, but the fit of anger seemed to have passed already and the muscles in Brainiac’s face eased back to their neutral expression, as if nothing happened in the first place.

‘Is your ship capable of flight?’ his father questioned him, seemingly calm.

‘Not yet but-‘ B2 whispered, afraid to move.

‘Then leave it here.’

Few seconds later, all three of them rematerialized on the skullship.

It was during mathematics and rather than listen to the teacher explaining primitive equations Lena busied herself with inventing some new ways to power her robots when it happened.

She couldn’t understand what was going on at first, but it had gone awfully quiet. It was as if some background noise she had been hearing every minute of her life just trailed off unexpectedly. There used to be that regular beat, quickening and slowing, almost like music but not quite, but she couldn’t quite hear it now. It seemed so far away.

Damian gave her a questioning look, seeing that she suddenly looked up from her notebook, eyes wide with panic.

‘Dad…’ she breathed out when the realization finally hit her.   

Chapter Text

Clark was leaning onto his desk, a single yellow folder in his hand, looking completely helpless.

‘Can’t you do it instead, Lois? I thought you were the Superman expert.’ He looked down at his desk, unwilling to get back to work.

Louis stopped typing for a moment and spared him a single disinterested look.  

‘Well, I might have changed my specialties after signing one particular document in the lawyers office.’ She noted matter-of-factly and immediately returned to her article.

‘What about the conflict of interest?’ he argued weakly.

‘It’s not like you haven’t written about yourself before. Few people on team Superman can criticize him like you do.’

‘And we get hate mail from it. Lois, seriously, just this one time.’ Clark even clasped his hands together pleadingly. It didn’t soften up his colleague any.

‘Perry gave it to you. Sorry, Smallville.’ She actually did look sorry for few short moments before turning back to her computer. Clark let out a sigh of resignation and slid back into his chair.

‘Or you could ask Luthor to write it for you instead, since you’re suddenly getting along now.’ she added suddenly.

‘Louis…’

‘It’s a miracle one of your rogues hasn’t killed you already when you’re this busy saving them from themselves.’ Her voice was level, but her annoyance was easily betrayed by how she smashed the keyboard.

‘It’s not like that, I actually set some boundaries and I won’t-‘ Clark cut himself off in the middle of the sentence, staring through the ceiling. The color drained from his face.

It set Louis’s danger meter tingling.

‘What is it?’ she asked quietly.

‘The usual please.’ He replied immediately.

‘What is go-‘ and he was gone with whoosh, almost knocking her off the chair. She straightened her disheveled hair with a long sigh.

‘Really, I’m so sick of thinking up excuses for you.’

‘We shouldn’t be here…’ Jon whispered, sneaking around the batcave in complete darkness.

‘Then hurry the hell up before my father comes back.’ Damian’s voice replied from somewhere ahead.

‘Can’t we just ask him to lend us the spaceship?’ he asked innocently before he distractedly hit his toe on a stair. His loud complaint wasn’t so inconspicuous.

‘Sure, because he loves giving his stuff away to kids.’

‘I’m in.’ Lena interrupted them before the two of them could even get to the computer. The lights turned on.

‘How did-?!’ Damian breathed out incredulously to which Lena just disconnected a flashdisk sporting Lexcorp logo out of the device.

‘Does your dad have those ready just in case he needs to break into the batcave?’

‘He makes one every time your dad updates the system. It keeps him busy for a few minutes during breakfast.’ She grinned smugly. Damian honestly couldn’t decide if he should be impressed or offended so he stayed quiet instead. In the far corner of the cave, doors of one of the bigger vehicles slid open with a hiss. The three of them hurried over to it, examining it from all the sides.  

‘Is it really equipped for space travel?’ Jon asked again, ever cautious.

‘Of course. It’s a bat-rocket’ Damian almost rolled his eyes.

Lena snorted at the ridiculous name but soon calmed down enough the pose the important question: ‘Do you know how to pilot it?’

‘Who do you take me for?! Let’s just get in already.’

It was a little crammed for the three of them, but it had to do. Damian immediately took the single pilot seat, playing with the controls without any perceivable system. The spaceship suddenly swerved to the right, yanking them sideways. Jon fell over but Lena grabbed hold of the chair and somehow managed to stay standing. Damian gave her an apologetic look.

‘I sometimes mistake those two levers. Nothing serious.’ He explained casually, as if that wasn’t kind of a big deal.

‘I can fly, I can fly, I can fly…’ Jon muttered quietly to himself as he sat up on the floor of the spaceship, hugging his knees. He couldn’t actually fly yet.

‘Damian.’ A stern voice called out just as one the screens lit up to show Batman’s unamused face.

‘HOLY SHIT!’ the boy jumped up in surprise and almost fell off the chair, startling the two other kids sitting behind him who were just recovering from his earlier piloting display.

Jon frowned at Damian rather than at the face on the screen, disapproving of that profanity. After few tense seconds, he leaned in from the side to say shy ‘hello’, because that’s what he was raised to do. His friend stared at him in disbelief.

‘Good afternoon, mr. Wayne.’ Lena joined in, not wanting to be left out. There was a pause where Batman seemed to take a long deep breath to calm himself down. Damian snickered.

‘Not while I’m in costume.’ He informed her finally, expression carefully schooled and voice cold. He seemed to get over the whole secret identity thing quite quickly because he turned back to Damian and jumped straight to the point.

‘Now why would you steal my spaceship AND let unauthorized people into the Batcave?’

‘For the greater good?’ the boy guessed, picking his nose without the slightest worry.

‘Brainiac kidnapped my dad!’ Lena supplied helpfully.

‘We’re sorry mr. Batman.’

‘Brainiac was on the planet?’ Batman ignored Jon’s poor apology and actually took the time to look genuinely surprised. Not as surprised as Lena and Damian, it seemed. 

‘You didn’t know?’

‘My sensors detected an anomaly, but it should have been just a meteorite…’

‘Well we’re doing your job for you so you’re welcome.’ Lena cut him off angrily which earned her another icy bat-glare that slid off her.

The humming of the engine stopped without a single warning but thankfully, because of Damian’s excellent piloting skills, they haven’t been able to get off the ground earlier and the ship had no height to fall from.

The image of Batman on the screen lifted a single eyebrow, as if to say that he wasn’t even trying yet.

Lena chewed on her lip. She supposed it was supposed to be a lesson to her or something.

‘Also lets us borrow the spaceship please…?’ she tried again.

‘You’re not going anywhere until I track Brainia-’

‘We already did.’ Damian interrupted him, unable to just sit and wait while his father does all the talking as usual.

‘Lena did a thing.’ Jon explained helpfully.

‘The skullship should be equipped with jump drive engines just like B2’s spaceship back home so I borrowed Lexcorp SPT tracking prototype to follow the chronoton changes it causes.’

‘And you couldn’t do that without stealing half of my Oreo supply?.’

‘We are so sorry about that.’ Jon whispered, genuinely upset because he ate most of them.

‘I’ll replace those.’ Lena relented after some time, pouting.

That seemed to be the argument that they needed because the spaceship started up again.

‘I’m sending our Green Lantern after you.’ Batman warned them coldly before the screen switched back to displaying the controls.

‘Fucking great.’ Damian muttered to himself.

‘Well hello there, how’s the phantom zone?’

‘Lex…?’ Superman recognized the voice calling out to him seemingly from somewhere beyond and forced himself to respond. His skin felt two sizes too small and his whole body ached in a completely new and innovative way. He tried to remember what he’d been doing to get himself beat up like this. One of Luthor’s schemes again? Somehow, he was really relieved to hear Lex again though.

With great effort, he cranked open one of his eyes and sure enough, he saw his face. It also seemed that they were in a room decorated like the insides of a whale.

‘The word you’re looking for is thank you. How could you be stupid enough to latch onto a ship jumping through dimensions?’ was he scolding him again? After all he’d done for him? He remembered flying through space for what felt like years until he finally caught up to the ship, because… oh, that was it, Brainiac. Everything from the past hour came back to him slowly.

‘I couldn’t get inside the ship. The security… the whatever wouldn’t let me.’ He explained slowly. His tongue felt completely mummified.

‘The force fields. Of course they would.’ Lex scoffed, but without the usual snark this time. He checked for injuries quickly, eyebrows burrowed and lips taut, looking almost worried.

Since Superman wasn’t still getting up he hooked his arms under his armpits and tried to haul him up by force. Clark did his best to stand up, but it felt like his legs were made from jelly. He could vaguely remember he’d been turned into a gingerbread man a dimension or two before but had no idea how he returned back to normal. He was just about to ask Lex about it when he thought of a more urgent question.

‘Where’s Brainiac?’ he finally managed to stand upright.

‘I guess he’s waiting for us at the bridge. I bypassed the security but we’re running out of time already and-’ before Luthor could finish the sentence the lights on the ship switched to red sun lamps with a quiet click and tendrils snapped around Clark, dragging him through a wall that seemed to part for him.

Lex let out a tired sigh full of resignation. He hated technorganic ships.

It only a half a minute before he was grabbed too, unable to see anything except black tendrils wriggling like earthworms before he was spat out on the other side of the ship.

Just on time to see Brainiac throttle Superman to death it seemed.

‘-is a valuable specimen and-‘ B2 complained loudly, but seemed too scared to approach his father directly.

‘Let him go!’ Luthor shouted out immediately, throat tight with panic. Brainiac’s head snapped around to look at him, but he made no move to loosen the loops around the Kryptonian’s neck. It took Lex three long seconds to run over to him and grab him by his uniform. He wanted to wriggle his neck but only found himself uttering a quiet ‘please’.

Brainiac seemed to think it over for a second, analyzing his reaction, before he finally let go. The coils around him loosened up and Clark almost choked on the air that could now reach his lungs. His first reaction, apart from coughing and gasping for air, was a raspy ‘thank you’ and Luthor couldn’t even manage to find his ridiculously good behavior annoying.

‘Why did you let him on board?’ Brainiac’s eyes never left him.

‘Are you really asking why I would let a man I’ve been obsessed with for years die pointlessly in space?’ Lex sighed, feeling a bit like he was dealing with a super intelligent obstinate child. 

‘I told you they are emotionally attached to each other father.’ B2 pointed out quickly which only earned him a cold glare.

‘In that case, I’ll keep him to assure your cooperation.’ The coils around Superman tightened again to demonstrate it.

‘You know that we can’t possibly carry out the project. It’d take me at least a year to recreate it without my notes and the finished product still wouldn’t be able to compare to Lena because she was raised organically from the 40th week. Even if that was enough for you, I can’t still possibly stay here that long, you’d form an attachment to me.’ Luthor explained slowly, trying to keep his voice level. They were still fairly close to each other and it was curious that Brainiac didn’t try to put some distance between them. B2 observed the scene from a safe distance, eyes darting from Superman to Luthor, unsure about the human’s exact plans.

‘Even if that eventuality arises it poses no problem.’ Brainiac replied matter-of-factly.  

‘You don’t know what emotions are yet, they influence your judgement, force you to look at everything subjectively… that could destroy all of your test results.’ Lex pushed him again, far from giving up.   

‘Those are all faults associated with your race and its inherent imperfections. My implants avoid all of th-‘ the Coluan was suddenly cut off when Luthor grabbed both sides of his face and kissed him. It took him a moment to realize that he was saying the rest of the sentence in someone else’s possibly gem ridden mouth and his eyes widened in shock. The whirring that always followed the activity of his implants and cybernetic enhancements got even louder and his cheeks turned a particularly dark shade of green.

B2 stared at the two of them with jaws hanging open, hoping it was just their imagination acting up. Superman would have liked to comment on that ridiculous situation, but as Brainiac’s attention dropped so did the tendrils around him and he fell down to the floor with a loud thud that shook his very bones. That would be his cue to escape except the red sun lamps were still draining his power, which meant his survival was still relying on whatever plan Lex thought out. He just hoped he wasn’t going to get them both killed.

Luthor finally released Brainiac, this far harmless and under his mercy, and immediately recited ’16 minus 2x equals 5x minus 9.’.

Brainiac gave him a blank look, unable to process that information.

‘What?’ he breathed out finally, staring at him fixedly. He’d wanted to wipe his mouth or at least touch it to confirm that it was still in its original place, but the equation made him pause for a long moment with one of his arms bent mid-movement.  

‘What is the value of x?’ Lex asked, surprisingly calm and collected considering that possibly earth-shattering event has just occurred.

‘I…’ the Coluan managed, like an actor who’d forgotten all of his lines. B2 turned to him gently, full of concern.

‘Father…?’ he whispered, as if to reassure himself of his identity. The Brainiac he knew would never fail at such a simple task.

‘You don’t know?’ Luthor taunted him and a smug smile slowly appeared on his face.

‘It doesn’t matter.’ Brainiac interjected, a little annoyed. He’d tried solving it many times now, but his head felt empty.

‘Let’s pretend it does.’

He swallowed, forcing himself to really concentrate on the matter at hand.

‘Repeat the equation.’ He finally asked, almost pleadingly.

‘It’s one. X equals one.’ B2 breathed out incredulously, quite worried this time.

Brainiac took a deep breath, closing his eyes to calm himself down. When he opened them, they refocused on Luthor immediately. He touched his mouth, the tissue felt somehow different.  

‘You… surprised me…’ he complained softly, unable to think to any other explanation.

‘I thought you said the implants assure perfect performance in any condition.’ Lex countered fluently. Brainiac’s attention skipped to another issue.

‘Why did the ship stop?’ he asked nobody in particular, only now realizing it. Come of his brain centers must have temporally malfunctioned or perhaps short-circuited. He was unable to function like this. He turned to Luthor again.

‘You did this to prove your theory to me?’

There was just a short nod.

‘I understand what you said about emotions now. I will revise my future plans accordingly and reevaluate my last decisions but I...’ he breathed out slowly, trying to will what he categorized as an unpleasant feeling to pass.

Luthor just smiled at his obvious distress, seating himself down on the floor comfortably.

‘Just do your thing, reevaluate. Factor in the damage I could do to your impeccable judgement. I’ll wait here.’

‘What?’ Damian shouted out, seeing the ship pass by on their sensors.

‘They’re returning?’ Lena asked, running to the window to catch at least a glimpse of the vessel.

‘What is happening?’ Jon got up too, a little confused.

Damian tried most of the buttons until Batman’s face appeared on their screens again.

‘Hey, father?’ he started, feeling a bit silly. Why the hell did they even go through all of this trouble.

‘I know, we’re ready for them.’

This time, the spaceship didn’t bother evading any of their sensors or camouflaging and touched down at one of the golf fields in Metropolis.

The JLA, or what was left of it with Hal in space with kids and Superman captive, was already assembled and waiting for anything from a short apology to a bloody conflict.

After few tense minutes, the hatch finally opened, and the heroes jumped into full alert. A lighthearted ‘Don’t shoot or whatever it is you do.’ came from inside the ship in an oddly familiar voice. Soon enough Luthor crawled through with his expensive suit a bit wrinkled but otherwise unharmed. For some reason, he still managed to look smug.

‘Luthor…’ Batman managed with a sigh, not bothering to hide his annoyance.

The second person to exit the ship was greeted a bit more warmly. Superman got out with a simple happy ‘Hi everyone.’ which was followed by a collective sigh of relief.

‘Kal… are you alright…?’ Wonderwoman asked immediately, hurrying over to him just in case he collapsed the moment he touched the ground. Batman was just behind her.

‘It was just a little… misunderstanding…’ Clark explained with a wide childish smile.

‘Is that why you didn’t bother with reporting it?’ Batman asked with a deep disapproving frown that already seemed to be a part of his superhero identity.

‘I was in a hurry, the ship was off at hyper speed.’ Clark gave his best excuse and hung his head down sheepishly.

‘I have everything handled, all saviors of the Earth can disperse now. No need for a welcome party.’ Luthor called out to the assembly, taking control of the situation as usual.

His ‘recommendations’ were immediately forgotten as Brainiac exited the ship followed by B2.

‘It’s alright, he’s leaving.’ Lex tried to calm them down before he turned to the alien.

‘Thank you for giving us a ride back. Not much about kidnapping me but we’ve all been there.’ Superman lifted one eyebrow at that but turn a blind eye to the allusions this time.

Brainiac produced a communicator that looked more like an mp3 player and held it out to Lex, in his hand.

‘I’d appreciate if you updated me on the development of the new antimatter engine prototype.’ He explained shortly.

‘I could use your help with it.’ Luthor smiled and took it from him. The Coluan didn’t seem particularly worried about the skin-to-skin contact, or maybe he didn’t even register it. He still looked a bit rattled from the whole kissing incident. It made Lex think he might have overdone it a little.

‘How are you handling your emotions?’ he asked, well-aware how crazy he must sound to the other people gather around.

‘They’re… unpredictable and decrease my productivity exponentially. You were correct in assuming your presence would hinder my research. I am detecting significant errors in my judgement even now.’ Brainiac said slowly but he had a strange faraway look.

‘But you’ll still miss me?’ Luthor joked, half-seriously.

‘I sincerely hope not. That process generates negative emotions that I could do without.’ That did sound a bit more like his usual hyper-rational self.

‘I will miss you… dad…’ B2 whispered a bit shyly and almost threw himself on Luthor, just in case he wouldn’t agree to give him a hug. It knocked the air out of his lungs, but Lex still managed to hug him back like he ought to.

‘I’ll miss you too.’

B2 burrowed his face into his suit. Lex just hoped he won’t start crying, because that’d certain break some Coluan sensitivity record.

‘Can you call me? On this?’ he asked instead, pointing to the communication device he got. B2 finally lifted his blonde head, looking him straight in the eyes.

‘Yes. And I intend to remain in contact with you.’

‘Are you sure you don’t want to stay here instead?’

‘The probability of my father permitting it is minimal, it isn’t even worth attempting. Moreover, your planet doesn’t provide the necessary stimuli for my research and intellectual development.’ B2 explained in a manner that betrayed he’d thought it all through already. There wasn’t much Lex could do about it.

‘Then… just call me if your father is horrible to you, alright? I’ll talk him down.’

‘You do seem to exercise significant influence over him. Thank you.’ The boy hugged him again, a bit tighter this time, almost like Lena would hug him if he was to leave and never come back. That thought stabbed Luthor in his weakest point, and he bit his lower lip as he went on stroking B2’s hair.

The JLA watched their little interaction, brows furrowed, a little confused.

‘I will sneak out to Earth again in a year or two.’ B2 whispered and only earned Clark’s deep tired sigh.

‘That suffices. Return back to the ship.’ Brainiac ordered impatiently, almost tearing the two apart. B2’s shoulders sagged but he didn’t say a word of defiance and just grudgingly made his way back to the ship. Before he disappeared inside, he waved to Lex with a sad little expression on his face. Luthor found himself waving back.

‘It’s a cute kid. Congratulations to us?’ he noted but got no reaction.

‘I will return in the future. I need to investigate what causes your planet to become the centre of universe changing events.’ Brainiac said suddenly, as if already preparing an excuse for his future self.  

‘Please don’t.’ Superman recommended a little despairingly.

‘Have a safe flight.’ Lex was apparently in one of his more generous moods after his great triumph and stood up on his tiptoes to give the alien a goodbye kiss on the cheek. Brainiac didn’t seem to handle it any better than the first one.

‘I…’ he looked around in confusion, as if he suspected he’d landed on a wrong planet before looking back at Lex. He leaned down sheepishly, probably asking for his third do-over but Luthor just waved him off with a smile.  

‘I’ll go now then…’ Brainiac suggested and when it met with universal approval he slowly backed away to his ship, looking over his shoulder back at Luthor with pleading eyes. B2 poked his head out of the hatch again and almost dragged his father back inside the skullship, annoyed that he was taking so long after forcing him to return.

In few short moments, the engines ignited and the vessel shot up with a deafening rumbling sound. The JLA stayed in disbelieving silence until Hal Jordan dropped down right in front of them, digging a hole in the perfectly maintained field.

‘Well, if we ever need to seduce an alien supervillain, we know who to call.’ He announced instead of a greeting, grinning from ear to ear.

Barry let out a deep sigh in response.

‘I know that he’s horrible and all but poor Brainiac. He looked completely heartbroken.’

‘He’ll live. It’s better for his studies that way anyway.’ Luthor cut him off, voice cold.

‘At least we know now which miraculous trick you used to convince him to just drop everything and take you back.’ It seemed that Hal made it his personal mission to irritate Luthor today, and the man didn’t appreciate it in the slightest, sending him a death glare.

‘I actually spoke more to his rational side.’ He replied, teeth gritted.

‘So, I guess we’re calling off the emergency?’ Arthur summed up, impatient to get going.

‘It seems to.’ Wonderwoman agreed.

‘I better get going. It’s close to Mera’s due date and everything.’ He explained a bit anxiously.

‘Already? The months passed so quickly.’

Barry didn’t seem to agree with Diana there, making a face.

‘I’ll take you there.’ Cyborg offered immediately opening up a boom tube before Aquaman could even manage to thank him.

‘I’ll see you soon.’ he promised, teleporting back to Atlantis, Cyborg just gave a nod.

‘I need to hurry back too. I was supposed to be on a UN conference so…’ Diana added apologetically and flew off quickly.

‘Lena isn’t picking up.’ Luthor glared at his phone, ignoring whatever boring events were going on next to him.

‘She’s probably re-entering the atmosphere right now. They’re a bit slower so I went ahead.’ Green Lantern explained. That didn’t seem to be the explanation Lex was hoping for, at least judging by his terrified expression.

‘What?!’ he hissed.

‘She had Damian steal my spaceship to go and track you down.’ Batman added.

‘How could you even allow something like that?!’ even Superman seemed to protest now.

‘Jon was with them too.’ That earned a loud groan.

‘Isn’t it nice that they’re all getting along?’ Batman added matter-of-factly, walking off himself.

‘Was that sarcastic or…?’ Luthor asked, eyes dangerously narrowed.

‘What do you think?’ Hal inquired helpfully.

‘He does that all the time. C’mon, I’ll fly you home.’ Clark offered with another sigh and Luthor let him pick him up with a sour face.

‘Will you make sure the kids land alright?’ Superman asked Green Lantern and flew off before he could hear the reply which was an annoyed ‘Am I a space nanny now or what?’.

It was cold and windy 30 meters above the ground, Lex noticed, slightly annoyed. At least Clark the human-shaped solar battery radiated enough heat to negate that. Almost.

‘So no thank you?’ he asked him suddenly.

‘Hm?’ there was no way Superman wouldn’t hear him so he must have forgotten already.

‘For saving you.’

‘Oh, of course. Thanks Lex.’ He quickly rectified his mistake with a wide smile. There were still red marks on his neck where Brainiac choked him, like a pair of snakes coiling around him, but they were fading fast. Luthor dared to touch them, feeling the injured skin.  

‘For a while back there, I thought I lost you for good.’ Clark said suddenly and his expression got more serious and Superman-like. Since it’d already solved one major problem for him today, Luthor didn’t even hesitate before smashing their lips together in a kiss.

Clark stopped mid-flight, before he could crash into a skyscraper.

‘Please don’t ask me about math.’ He said just as soon as they broke apart before Luthor got any ideas.

‘I won’t.’ he grinned, moving in to continue where they left off before Superman shook his head with a lopsided smile.

‘The hero doesn’t get to have any reward?’ Luthor complained quickly.

‘It’s seems more like you’re trying to get rid of a bad taste in your mouth.’

‘Those before were just fine, for your information.’ He couldn’t believe he was almost getting offended on Brainiac’s behalf. Clark just tilted his head to a side.

‘My conditions still stand.’

How perfectly annoying.

‘Alright!’ Luthor almost shouted out.

‘Alright, I’ll be a good guy, I’ll be so good it’ll make you feel bad.’ He announced, crossing his arms over his chest. Superman gave him an incredulous look.

‘Are you serious?’

Lex breathed in through his nose, like a furious bull ready to charge.

‘Dead serious. Just get me to bed before I change my mind.’

‘And they’re gone.’ Lena sighed, leaning onto the control board. They finally arrived to Metropolis just to catch a glimpse of the skullship speeding away again.

‘There wasn’t even a bloody showdown. No mortal danger or proper alien invasion, blood and guts lying all around…’ Damian muttered to himself quietly.

‘I’m so glad they’ve managed to solve it peacefully.’ Jon beamed, actually feeling good about it.

‘How boring. I didn’t get to say goodbye to B2 though. Didn’t even see Brainiac, kinda shame.’ Lena mused, playing with her hair.

‘Oh, that’s my dad, he’s alright!’ she spotted him getting carried through the air. Jon saw the two of them too.

‘Can you hear what they’re saying?’

‘No, not clearly enough and the spaceship is blocking a lot. Wait they’re… ew!’

‘EW!’ Damian jerked his head away from the window. They were smooching each other.

‘Does… does that mean our dads like each other?’ Jon asked, drowning in despair.

‘Are you shitting me? They’ve been after each other for years.’ His friend supplied helpfully. It only made Jon frown all the more.

‘But they are incredibly dense about it. I think it’s because your dad has morals and mine has standards or something. I had to arrange everything for them.’ Lena explained, not forgetting to mention her part in it.

‘Finally.’ Damian announced. Thank god the two of them stopped kissing.

‘I don’t want your dad as my dad. He’s scary. I hope they don’t get married.’ Jon said in a quick succession, running his hand down his forearms to calm himself down.

‘But they will so you better start getting used to it!’ his sister countered stubbornly.

‘Hey, if you knew the people my father slept with you’d be happy it’s just Luthor your daddy has the hots for.’ Damian tried calming him down a little, but seemingly with no effect.

‘I can’t imagine anybody worse.’

‘Ew, they’re doing it again.’ He complained.

‘I know.’ Lena sighed.

‘That’s all on you, Lena.’ Jon was quick to point out, refusing to look at that scene.

‘I wanted them to get married, but they don’t have to be gross about it.’ she tried to defend herself a little. Damian, meanwhile, was losing his patience already.

‘Seriously, how long can they keep that up?’

‘My dad can hold his breath for hours. I don’t think he really needs to breathe.’

‘Mine does. Shoot something at them so they stop.’ Lena ordered and Damian was quick to launch a rocket their way. Superman just swapped it off, as if it was a fly, and turned to look in their direction. It looked like he was saying something to Luthor because his lips were moving. The kids held their breath nervously. Finally, instead of breaking into their ship to give them a stern talking to, Clark darted off in the direction of Lex tower, dragging Luthor with him.

As if intending to catch them off guard, Batman took that exact moment to contact them again. He didn’t seem to register that all of them jumped up when they saw him again.

‘Fly them to the Manor Damian, it looks like I’m babysitting tonight.’ He ordered without any preamble.

‘I’d rather go home before you experiment on me but thanks.’ Lena declined curtly.

‘Your entire tower is a danger zone now, trust me on that, you don’t wanna step a foot inside.’ Damian recommended.

‘I’d rather go with uncle Barry or aunt Diana…’ Jon admitted with painful honesty.

There was a sound of somebody snickering on the other end. Batman looked to somebody on his right, quietly assuring them that he was good at taking care of kids. Having settled that, he returned to glaring at them through the screen.

‘You still need to return the spaceship you stole.’

‘Oh.’ Lena breathed out.

‘I forgot all about it, but it was Damian’s fault.’

‘That’s a bloody lie!’ he defended himself violently.

‘I swear I had nothing to do with this!’ Jon argued quietly.

Chapter Text

It was way past nine o’clock in the morning when Luthor finally decided to get up, yawning. He frowned at the foreign object in the corner of the room that immediately caught his attention because of its ridiculously bright red and blue colors. When he rubbed the sleep from his eyes he finally recognized it, a superman suit, flung into that far corner last night. It clashed with the green color scheme of the room and he was seriously tempted to throw it out, but he couldn’t help but feel a little grateful to it because it was the proof he needed to convince himself that he didn’t just dream Clark’s visit so he finally decided to leave it there.

His stomach started rumbling so he undertook the odyssey from his room to the kitchen, walking slow, still a little disoriented and dazed from the sleep.

Lena was already sitting on one of the chairs, turning to smile at him when he entered. Jon, who was sitting right next to her, pulled a very different face on his arrival and suddenly became very interested in his empty plate.

‘Good morning honey.’ Luthor smiled back, pressing a customary kiss on her forehead.

‘Morning Lex.’ Clark replied immediately from where he was standing next to the cooker with his back turned, completely oblivious that it wasn’t aimed at him.

Lena chuckled and inhaled another bite of chocolate cake that seemed to be her breakfast today.

‘And good morning Clark.’ Lex added with a grin.

That seemed to confuse the alien a little because he turned around to check the situation. Kids were alright, nothing was burning, Lex was smiling, no problem then. He turned back to slide his bacon and eggs on a plate.

‘You don’t really cook here, do you?’ he asked casually.

‘Lena didn’t even know where you put pans.’

‘We have people for that.’ Luthor answered, sitting down next to his daughter. Jon took his place, but he’d let him have it since he already looked like he was regretting everything about existing in this space with him.

‘It looks like you’ve already settled in.’ he intended it more like a complaint, but it came out surprisingly warm and harmless. Clark gave him another one of his blinding smiles.

‘I thought that I’d just pick them up from Bruce’s place, drop Lena here and head off, but the kids were hungry and I didn’t want to wake you up.’

Luthor stared at him in disbelief, processing those harmless sentences.    

‘Bruce…?’ he breathed out before almost slapping himself, ‘God, please tell me batman didn’t babysit them?! Why couldn’t your lampion drop Lena off here, she could just sleep on a different floor-’ the dread settled on his face.

‘It’s lantern not lampion. Green lantern.’ Clark corrected him, even though it was obvious Lex wasn’t really listening.

‘Why didn’t Mercy handle this.’ he complained weakly, still unable to understand how he could let that happen.

‘It’s alright dad, the place was an old dump, but it was fun annoying mr Batman.’ Lena intervened, using one of Jon’s expressions on purpose. The boy noticed and gave her the ‘I’m very displeased with your behavior’ glare that he took after Superman. He half-wanted to say something about it, but his portion of bacon and eggs finally landed in front of him, and the entire matter was immediately forgotten.

‘I can make some more, or do you want the cake?’ Clark asked Luthor, trying to get him back to earth. Lex gave a long sigh, still stressed over the few hours of his darling daughter spent unsupervised in the house of a man who trains kids to fight clowns.

‘Cake.’ He replied finally and before he could finish the sentence, a full plate appeared in front of him. When he kept staring at the food, lost in his own thoughts, Kal looped his hands around him from the back in a lopsided hug, kissing his head right behind his ear just because he officially had the permission now. Lex’s reaction was almost immediate this time. He leaned back into him, taking the time to appreciate the impossible warmth the other man radiated through his shirt, before he turned around to kiss him since it felt like forever since he’s done that the last time.

‘EW! I’m eating.’ Lena protested immediately. Jon just looked on with a blank face, as if ready to face everything about his father’s new relationship with an apathy of a long-suffering martyr.

There was a knock on the window in the living room. The two unglued their faces momentarily, facing the direction of the noise.

‘I’ll let Connor in.’ Clark declared quickly and darted into the other room, returning with the teenager in tow. Kon seemed to take it all in, the four of them around a table in what could almost be called a domestic scene and made a confused face.

‘Hey, hi guys…’ he managed, waving weakly to Lena and Jon.

‘Sit down across from me.’ Lena ordered immediately and pointed at the nearest unoccupied chair.

‘Can I… like intrude…? Aren’t you busy?’ he asked carefully, completely taken aback, and rubbed his hair nervously.

‘Well you’re already here. Grab a slice of cake.’ Luthor recommended, not bothering to raise his eyes from his plate.

‘Can I?’

‘I don’t know, can you?’

Conner walked shyly closer to the table, hungrily eyeing Jon’s breakfast.

‘Or I can make you bacon and eggs too.’ Clark offered, walking back to the cooker just behind Lex’s seat who couldn’t let that slide and grabbed him by the shirt to kiss him again.

Kon took a step back, eyes wide with shock.

‘Is that yes on the bacon?’ Clark asked when they broke off, as if nothing had happened.

‘Ye-ss…?’ Connor managed, eyes darting between his biological parents. There was still the possibility that he landed in an alternate universe by accident. He finally managed to voice his concern.

‘What the hell happened yesterday?! I thought it was just a regular invasion.’

‘Dad got kidnapped. You weren’t around to help?!’ Lena asked, seemingly friendly, but her eyes narrowed at the end. Connor huffed.

‘I was in another dimension, punching demons that ate away at our reality so no, I was busy.’

‘Lex promised me to give up crime in all shades and forms.’ Clark explained with his back turned, busy with the frying pan.  

‘Damn.’ Connor breathed out.

‘So they can get married now.’ Lena summed up, startling her father enough to almost make him choke on the food he was chewing.

‘Eat your cake.’ Lex ordered when he could speak again, flustered. Connor apparently caught him staring thoughtfully at Clark’s back because he had a big shiteating grin plastered on his face.

‘Did you come to take your things back?’ he asked him, desperate to change the topic.

As expected, Connor’s smile faltered, but didn’t slip off his face entirely.

‘Actually I… thought I could just stay here… at least to try it out? I mean, I bet my room’s huge and you got like a gargantuan tv and servants and all of that…’

Lex actually turned to look at him, surprised.

‘Yes to all of those.’

‘Moving away from Ma and Pa who took care of you this whole time just to get bigger tv seems a bit selfish… Did you even tell them about it?’ Clark asked, matter-of-factly.

‘Shh! That doesn’t concern you!’ Luthor reprimanded him.

‘Actually, I did and they didn’t protest much. I mean… doesn’t it just make more sense to live with mum and sis when I have them around-‘

‘Not your mother.’ Lex corrected him quickly.

‘I knew it! I knew it!’ Lena jumped out of her chair and grabbed him in a bone crushing hug. Conner let out a chuckle and then a wheeze, running out of air.

‘Are you really sure about moving here?’ Luthor raised one eyebrow suspiciously.

‘Are you planning on experimenting on me while I sleep or something?’

‘You’re not that interesting. But if you’re thinking about spying on me for the greater good or-’

‘He won’t need to, remember? You’ll be a good guy, so good it’ll make me feel bad. Wasn’t that what you said?’ Clark suddenly turned to face the group. His tone was serious but his eyes were smiling. He served Connor his bacon and eggs and the boy gave him a look of eternal gratitude.

Luthor groaned, sprawling in his seat, feeling the dreaded boredom of ‘truth, justice and the American way’ descend on him. Conner impaled his bacon and inhaled half the plate, speaking with his mouth full.

‘I already have my stuff here and all so… I wanna try it out… But if you get weird or dangerous I’m moving out immediately.’ he warned him half-heartedly.

‘Fair enough.’ One shrug from Lex confirmed the deal and then it was just another painful hug from Lena.

‘You can have a room next to me and I’ll give you a tour of the 85 floors that I know the codes to! And Clark will visit us a lot too and he’ll move in soon, right? With Jon?’

Jon was happy to be excluded from the conversation but now, when all the attention turned back to him, he slid down in the chair, trying to make himself as small as possible. It was too late, Luthor was talking to him.   

‘I could get you your own room too, with a tv, play station, waterbed, nuclear reactor… anything you could need.’

Clark chuckled nervously, trying to save his son from getting immediately Luthor-ified.

‘Let’s not rush anything. Today is kinda the first official day for us so talking like that from the start…’

‘It’s day two.’ Luthor collected him coldly.

‘Hm? No it isn’t. Yesterday was day zero.’

‘I object to that kind of math. No I have a 24hour delay in my plan to get you to move here before I turn sixty.’

‘You have to add the sixteen years of pining to that.’ Conner added helpfully.

‘I did not pine.’ Luthor seemed to take offense.

‘Hhhm, yes you did.’ Kon countered, but quickly averted his gaze when his father turned his deadly glare to him.

Clark put his hands on Jon’s shoulders protectively. ‘I think we should be going. We still need to talk about the spaceship you stole, don’t we?’ he asked Jon who let out a little desperate ‘mh’, regretting all of his choices.

‘You’re going already?’ Lena, still half-glued to Connor, looked at them in surprise.

‘I’m supposed to be with mum and Dean this weekend.’ He explained quietly.

‘Then you’re free to drop by later.’ Luthor turned to Clark and his word was absolute.

‘I will. Well, unless Doomsday returns or the Earth starts melting or there’ll be tsunami someplace or-’

‘So I’m only supposed to share you with 8 billion people?’

‘And then there’s the… you know… cosmic disasters…’

‘So I need to add the entire cosmos and any number of realities that happen to need your help.’ Clark sighed. That was how his marriage ended.

‘Yes.’ He admitted painfully.

‘But I will show up.’ He gave him his best reassuring smile and, when that didn’t seem to work, a quick peck on the lips.

‘It is preferable to me dragging you here by force.’ Luthor finally replied nonchalantly adding a smile of his own. A particularly dangerous one.

‘Of course.’ Clark cleared his throat nervously.

‘So… we really have to be going now.’ He cleared his throat again, wondering what he’d signed himself up for.

‘Bye Lena, Connor…’ Jon said with a little sad smile.

‘Goodbye mr Luthor.’ He added as an afterthought with trembling voice.

‘I’ll see you on Monday in school.’ Lena said simply, seeing that keeping them around now was impossible.

‘Bye kid.’ Conner added.

‘If you know what’s good for you you’ll drop by before midnight today.’ Lex warned Clark again, a bit softer.  

‘Missing me already?’ Clark teased before zipping out of their view with Jon in his hands.

‘If you replied he’d still hear you.’ Conner noted and went back to his food.

‘I’m not talking to myself just so my stalker can understand my feelings better.’

‘It’s a shame Clark and Jon will be just going away all the time.’ Lena sighed, watching the two in the distance.

‘But at least we’ll get Krypto here.’ She added, thoughtful.

There was a moment of tense silence.

‘God. I forgot you have that bloody mutt.’ Luthor groaned.

‘Every family needs a dog.’ Connor countered.

‘Why did I agree to this?’