Chapter Text
The morning after his wedding, Steve woke up convinced it had all been a dream.
Then he registered fully the feeling of Loki wrapped around him like an octopus and dropped safely back into reality, complete with what he knew had to be a terrifically dopey grin. Married. They were married.
The party had gone late. Steve wondered how many of his friends were going to be hungover today.
It was still early - he could tell by the light peeking through the blinds - but he was awake, his stomach growling. If he wanted to go for a run before eating - and he did want to go for a run before eating - he’d better do that now.
Steve began the careful process of disentangling himself from Loki’s limbs, who made a grumbling sound and tightened his hold.
Steve tapped his wrist lightly. “I’m going for a run.”
“No,” Loki mumbled.
Steve raised his eyebrows. “You could come with me.”
“Mmm. Or you could stay here.” Loki turned, nuzzling into Steve’s neck. “There are other ways to get your heart racing.”
Steve huffed, though his skin tingled a little, body perking up. “You’re still half asleep.”
“I can wake up for sex.”
Steve gave Loki’s arm a squeeze. “You’re not making this easy.”
“Good,” Loki said, but after a moment he sighed dramatically and withdrew his arms and legs. “Fine, fine. Go for your run. Then you’ll come back and get in the shower and I’ll join you. Press up against your back and slide my hands down over your stomach and-”
“Loki,” Steve said, his face - and other parts - warming up. Loki just laughed, and Steve shook his head as he rolled over and stood up, pulling on sweatpants and a t-shirt. “I’m going to hold you to that, just so you know,” he said, very carefully not facing Loki.
“I hope you do,” Loki said, already curling back up under the blankets. For a moment, Steve was inclined to just get back into bed and join him, but he made himself turn around and go out.
He took a long run, clearing out his head and focusing on the workout itself - though it was hard not to keep letting memories from the night before drift into his head. He was glad there was no one around to see him grinning like an idiot.
As he came to the end of his circuit, he saw Natasha standing outside, her arms crossed, staring at the towering panther statue. He changed direction slightly to head for her, and she turned as he approached.
“Keeping up your morning routine, I see,” she said.
“Trying to.” He hadn’t had much of a chance to talk to her during the party. Looking at her now, he wondered if that was by design. She seemed...not quite uncertain, but uncomfortable. “How’re you doing?” He asked.
She shrugged one shoulder. “Not hungover, which puts me one better than Clint. Or, I’d bet, almost everyone else here barring maybe you, Loki, and Thor.”
“And Bucky,” Steve said. Natasha shook her head, one corner of her mouth curling slightly up.
“No,” she said. “I don’t think so.” Steve blinked, and she shook her head. “Never mind. It’s…” She blew out a breath. “I didn’t mean the timing to work out like it did. Sorry for crashing your wedding. And congratulations, by the way.” Her smile was small but, Steve thought, sincere.
“Thanks,” he said. “And it wasn’t crashing. You would’ve been invited if we’d known where to send the letter.” It wasn’t quite a question, and he didn’t really expect her to answer, but she surprised him.
“Russia, actually,” she said. “I’ve been dealing with some personal business. An old friend-” She stopped. “Someone I thought was dead popped up on my radar.”
“What happened?” Steve asked. Natasha looked at him sideways.
“I don’t know yet,” she said, after a long pause. “I guess I’ll find out if I made a mistake if bodies start dropping.” Steve blinked, and she sighed. “Sorry. It’s...no offense, Steve, but I don’t think this is something I want to talk about with you.”
Steve tried not to be stung by that and made himself nod. “All right.” He paused. “What do you know about...what you missed?”
“Clint’s caught me up on a fair amount. Sounds like you’ve been busy.”
“That’s one way of putting it.” Steve ran his fingers through his sweaty hair. “You know about Thor?”
“That his sister tried to take over Asgard and it was destroyed in the fight? Thor sure has bad luck in siblings.” Steve gave her a quick, hard, look. “I know, I know,” she said. “Bad joke.”
She was nervous, Steve thought.
“I really am glad you came,” he said. “I meant it, when I said you’d be welcome here. And it’s...good to see you. Safe.” He smiled weakly. “I was worried about you.”
“You? Worried about me? Last time I saw you, Steve, you’d nearly bled to death.” She uncrossed her arms. “It’s fine. I’m fine. It’s a little weird, but nothing I won’t get used to.” She raised her eyebrows. “Honestly, the marriage did catch me a little by surprise. How long have you been planning that one?”
“It was actually already...in the works when we saw you,” Steve said. “Njord just took the rings.”
“Huh,” Natasha said. “You didn’t say anything.”
Steve smiled a little crookedly. “It didn’t seem like the time.”
“No,” she said after a moment. “I guess it wouldn’t.” She gave him a small, tired smile. “It’s good to see you too, Steve. I missed you guys, turns out.”
“Have you talked to T’Challa?” Steve asked. “If not, I can-”
“I’d rather do that myself,” Natasha said. “Though I’m pretty sure he knows I’m here, and hasn’t had the Dora Milaje kick me out yet, so...I’m guessing I’m allowed to stay.”
Steve exhaled in very slight relief. He hadn’t actually expected anything else, but the confirmation was still reassuring. He gave Natasha a smile. “I’m glad to hear that. T’Challa’s...he’s a good man.”
“Seems to be,” Natasha said. Steve glanced at her with a slight frown, but she gave him a small...not a smile, exactly. “I always assume there’s a catch, Steve. It’s what’s kept me alive. Doesn’t mean I think you’re wrong. Just that I’m paranoid.”
Steve bit the inside of his cheek and after a moment said, “want to come in with me? I need to change, and shower, but...I could make you breakfast.”
Natasha raised her eyebrows. “Loki’s not going to have a problem with that?”
Steve almost asked why would he? but he supposed that...Loki held grudges, and Natasha had been working with Tony and Ross, and they’d never been on particularly good terms. But… “You’re my friend,” he said. “If he does, he can deal with it.”
“Hm.” Natasha cocked her head to the side, then nodded with another one of her little half-smiles. “Yeah, all right. I’ll let you make me breakfast.”
Loki was still asleep when Steve checked in the bedroom, though he roused as Steve dressed after his wash, sitting up with a yawn. “Norns,” he said. “You didn’t wake me up for the shower.”
“Natasha’s here,” Steve said, and watched Loki tense, his sleep blurred eyes sharpening.
“Oh?”
“Yeah,” Steve said. “I invited her to breakfast.” Loki’s expression didn’t warm, and Steve sighed. “You seemed fine when she showed up to the wedding.”
“Yes,” Loki said. “I was. That’s a little different than having her for breakfast the morning after.” His voice was caustic, and Steve tensed, but a moment later Loki sighed and dropped back against the pillows. “Ah, well. She’s already here, and I’ve missed my chance to fuck you in the shower, so…”
Steve’s face went hot and he cleared his throat. “You’re welcome to join us for breakfast, if you want.”
“I’ll probably take you up on that.” Loki stretched. “I don’t think I’ve slept that well in...quite possibly years.” He gave Steve a sly, warm, smile. “Nicely done.”
Steve was quite certain he was blushing bright red. “Glad to hear it,” he said. “I’ll see you out there.” After a moment, he walked over to the side of the bed and bent down to kiss Loki softly. To kiss his husband.
(And if that wasn’t more than a bit of a thrill to think…)
“Love you,” he said, trying to make it sound casual and not like his chest felt overfull, before going back out to meet Natasha. She was standing in the center of the room, looking around.
“Nice place,” she said.
“T’Challa’s been incredibly generous,” Steve said, walking over to the kitchen and pulling out a skillet. “Omelettes okay?”
“Sounds great.” Natasha walked over and sat down at the counter. “Clint said there was some shit with Amora.”
Steve’s hand clenched involuntarily on the handle of the skillet and he forced it to relax. “You could say that,” he said. “She kidnapped Loki planning to trade him over to Thanos for her safety.”
“Not the bit I meant,” Natasha said, though almost gently. Steve felt his jaw twitch, unreasonably annoyed with Clint, even if it wasn’t exactly a secret. He still didn’t like thinking about it. About how it had felt having everything about him twisted up and around, being made to want someone so desperately he couldn’t think of anything else. He wouldn’t call it love.
“Yeah,” he said finally. “It’s over now. She’s dead. Wanda killed her.”
“Pretty thoroughly, I heard.” Natasha tapped her fingers on the counter. “About Thanos. Has there been any change? Any new information?”
“Not as yet,” Loki’s voice said. He came prowling out, wearing what Steve thought of as Asgardian casual. “Steve declined to entertain my idea for intelligence gathering.”
“Because it was a terrible idea,” Steve almost snapped, giving Loki a hard look, a little stab of panic going through him. “It’s not an option,” he added to Natasha, in case she was going to ask.
“Can I ask what the idea was?” She asked, looking at Loki. The two of them practically sizing each other up. After a moment, Loki shrugged, and some of the tension seemed to ease, without either of them saying a word.
“It’s not important, since Steve’s right - it isn’t my best idea.”
“That’s saying something,” Natasha said dryly. Loki blinked, and then barked a laugh.
“Very droll, Romanov.”
“I’ve been known to be.” She glanced at Steve. “Can I help with anything?”
“No,” Loki said smoothly. “Sit down; you’re the guest. Omelettes, Steve?”
“That’s...what I was thinking..” Steve eyed Loki sidelong, trying to get a read on his mood. Loki glanced back at him, and for just a moment his lips tugged up toward a smile that brightened his eyes. Steve relaxed.
“Thanks. Both of you,” Natasha said, sitting down and resting her elbows on the table.
“Consider it long overdue repayment for saving our lives,” Loki said, pulling a pepper over and starting to cut it up. “At least on my part. I imagine Steve is just being friendly.”
Steve shook his head, fighting down a smile. “Because you’re never that,” he said. Loki hummed noncommittally.
“So,” Natasha said. “When are you going on your honeymoon?”
Steve glanced at Loki. “We...hadn’t actually planned one.” Her eyebrows went up, and Steve half smiled and said dryly. “I think we both figured that the second we tried to go on vacation would be when something would go horribly wrong, so we’d better not chance it.”
“Yeah,” Natasha said, “that’s a really good way to never do nice things, in our line of work. We can always call you back in, you know.”
“She makes a fair point,” Loki murmured. He’d finished the peppers and started on an onion.
“Where would you want to go?”
“I don’t know,” Loki said. “The trouble is the problem of being a fugitive on this planet and unwelcome on another four of the Nine Realms. Another of which is depopulated. It rather cuts down on options.”
Steve frowned at him. Natasha snorted, though. “I have faith you could work around it, if you wanted.” Loki hummed again, and Steve noted that down as something to discuss later.
Loki made good conversation over breakfast. Nothing serious, or deep, but Steve could tell the difference between his aggressively polite facade and when he was actually putting in the effort, and this was the latter. After they were done, he begged off to go shower - giving Steve just a flicker of an eyebrows and a smirk before leaving.
Steve looked at Natasha.
“What,” she said. “Are you waiting for a verdict?”
Steve had to laugh, a little embarrassed. “I guess. Maybe. I know things haven’t always been...you’ve never really trusted him.”
“You’re right,” she said. “I don’t trust most people, Steve. Clint. You. Maybe Sam. Most everyone else...so, yeah. I don’t trust Loki. But he’s not who he was when he first showed up here. Or even when you first brought him in.” She raised her eyebrows with a crooked little smile. “I guess we’ve all changed, haven’t we?”
“Guess we have,” Steve said, a little ruefully. “We’re a long way from where we started.” From 1943, when things had almost seemed simple.
“It’s good to see you happy, Steve,” Natasha said. She sounded almost wistful. “If anyone deserves it, you do.”
“I hear congratulations are in order,” T’Challa said when Steve met him upon his return from Birnin Zana. Steve couldn’t keep back a smile that he hoped looked less goofy than it felt.
“Guess so.” He paused. “Is everything...all right? I heard there’d been some trouble.”
“You could say that.” T’Challa looked briefly very tired. “It’s been...a chaotic month.”
“You’re opening your borders,” Steve said. He’d gathered that much. T’Challa inclined his head.
“It’s time we did. I’ve…” He paused, seeming to be considering. “It doesn’t change anything about the status of you and your teammates. You are still under my - our - protection.” He paused. “Including Natasha. I heard she was back?”
“Yeah,” Steve said, tensing a little. “She’s back.”
T’Challa just nodded, though. “I’ll make sure to speak to her,” he said. “So long as she keeps her Widow’s Bites to herself...I don’t think the Dora would take very kindly to her pulling that trick again.” His slight smile, however, suggested he wasn’t entirely serious. Well. Steve didn’t doubt he was serious about the Dora Milaje reacting harshly, but he didn’t think T’Challa thought it would be a problem. He relaxed again.
“Can I ask what happened?” He said. T’Challa gave him a sidelong look, but only for a moment.
“My cousin returned,” he said. “N’Jadaka. He was raised an American after my father killed his father for smuggling vibranium out of Wakanda.”
Steve blinked. “Oh,” he said, not quite sure what else to say.
T’Challa sighed. “He came back for revenge. And to begin a revolution - or what he believed would be a revolution. Though I think the former took primacy. He tried to kill me.”
Steve thought of Loki and Thor, but of course that was different. “I’m glad he didn’t,” he said, which was probably obvious but he thought deserved to be said anyway.
“Me, too,” T’Challa said, with just a flicker of a smile, though his eyebrows stayed knitted together. Steve hesitated.
“What happened to him?” He asked tentatively. “N’Jadaka?”
T’Challa looked at him for several long seconds, plainly trying to decide what he should - or could - say. “As far as the world is concerned, he died,” T’Challa said.
“But he didn’t,” Steve said. T’Challa hesitated a moment longer, then shook his head.
“I do not want to build my reign on another family member’s body,” he said, very quietly. “Though I don’t expect him to thank me for it.” He shook himself, seeming to refocus on Steve. “I trust you understand that this is something to keep in confidence.”
“I understand.” Steve thought of Loki, how long he’d been a secret from everyone but six people. “Thank you for telling me.”
“Apparently he and Sam have met,” T’Challa said. “Though he knew him as Erik Stevens, then. I am asking Sam if he’d be willing to speak with him.”
Steve nodded. “So Sam knows. Anyone else?”
“Not at the moment, no. That may change.” He paused. “I’ve thought to speak to Thor. And I expect...I don’t intend to keep him secreted away forever.”
“Anything changes,” Steve said, “or if there’s anything I can do…”
“Thank you,” T’Challa said, “but no. This is, I think - at least for now - a matter for my family.”
“Well,” Steve said, “thanks for filling me in. And I’m...sorry. Sounds like it’s been rough.”
“I was thrown off a waterfall,” T’Challa said. “So I suppose one could say that.” Steve started, staring at him, and T’Challa gave him another one of those small but warm smiles.
“Doesn’t show,” Steve said. T’Challa huffed a laugh.
“I am sorry to have missed the wedding,” he said. “I am sure it was a lovely affair.”
“It was...nice,” Steve said, looking down, a little self-conscious. To cut it, he added, “Thor cried a lot.”
“An older sibling’s prerogative, I should think.”
“You’d know, I guess,” Steve said.
“Not that Shuri is getting married for another twenty years,” T’Challa said serenely. “Or maybe thirty.” Steve raised his eyebrows.
“You don’t think that’s a little much?”
“Oh, it’s not me,” T’Challa said. “This is according to Shuri. She says that a boyfriend will just get in the way in her lab, and she’d rather wait until she’s established enough to have her own team.” Steve couldn’t help smiling. T’Challa stretched like a big cat. “At any rate. I’ll have to think of an appropriate gift.”
Steve felt his face warm. “You’ve already given us more than enough. A place to stay, the rings, my shield…”
He trailed off when T’Challa pinned him with his eyes. “I don’t suppose you have a registry,” he said. Steve stared at him, honestly not sure if he was joking.
“No,” he said. “We...don’t.”
“Ah well,” T’Challa said. “I’ll just have to improvise.”
“Sometimes,” Steve said after a moment, “I can’t tell when you’re messing with me and when you’re serious.”
“I don’t know why you’d say that,” T’Challa said, but there was that little smile again.
“So how’s married life treating you?” Sam asked, grinning.
“A lot like unmarried life,” Steve said. “Haven’t sprouted any new limbs yet.”
“Good wedding night?” Bucky said, emerging from Sam’s bathroom with a little bit of a leer. “Did you break any furniture?”
Steve felt his face getting hot. “Don’t see as that’s any of your business,” he said. “Do you just live here now? I thought Sam and I were having a private conversation.”
Sam coughed. “Yeah, Bucky,” he said. “We were having a private conversation.”
“Uh huh,” Bucky said. “I get it. Private conversation away. I’m heading out.” He gave a jaunty little wave and sauntered out. Steve looked after him, frowning slightly.
“God, what an asshole,” Sam said, obscurely. Steve gave him a sharp, confused, look, a little offended on Bucky’s behalf.
“What’d he do?”
“Just...generally.” The corner of Sam’s lips twitched a little, though. Steve narrowed his eyes, but Sam shook himself. “Something up?”
“Not really,” Steve said. “Just dropping by. Things’ve been...hectic.”
“Aren’t they always?”
Steve had to laugh, a little ruefully. “Guess so.” He paused. “Thanks, by the way. For officiating. And planning everything. It was...I really appreciated it.”
“Hey,” Sam said. “It was fun. Honestly. You two make the weirdest, sweetest, couple, I swear to God.”
Steve felt his face warm a little and ducked his head. “Thanks, I think.”
“You’re welcome.” He stretched, and Steve heard his shoulder pop. Sam grimaced and muttered something under his breath that Steve thought might’ve had Bucky’s name in it. Steve raised his eyebrows, a lurking suspicion creeping in.
“So, uh,” he said. “What were you and Bucky up to?”
Sam gave him a sideways look. “What do you mean, ‘up to’?”
“I don’t know,” Steve said. “You tell me.”
Sam just stared at him for a long moment, and then put his head back and stared up at the ceiling. “Jesus fuck,” he said. “Dammit.” Steve just waited, eyebrows still raised, and Sam dropped his chin back down, a woeful look on his face. “I’m telling you,” he said. “I have no idea how this happened to me.”
“How what happened,” Steve said ruthlessly. Sam’s expression turned pained.
“You’re gonna make me say it, aren’t you. Yeah, okay, maybe there’s a little bit of a thing. Sort of.”
Steve could feel his lips twitching. “Uh huh.”
“Don’t be like that, Rogers,” Sam said, jabbing a finger in his direction. “I see you. You know what? He’s lucky to have me. I’m a catch.”
“Absolutely,” Steve said, straight-faced. Sam shot him an almost suspicious look.
“You’re an asshole, too,” he said. “Both of you. Must be a supersoldier thing.”
Steve gave up and just laughed, though it and his smile faded quickly. “You...didn’t tell me.”
Sam sighed. “Like you said,” he said carefully, “it’s been hectic.”
Steve felt a pang. “But that’s not all.”
“Yeah,” Sam said. “Because I don’t know what the fuck this is. I don’t think he does either. Going all out seemed like jumping the gun a little. And to be honest…” Sam blew out a breath. “I’m not out to my ma. Or my dad. Or anyone other than my little sister who moved to San Francisco.”
“Oh,” Steve said. Sam shrugged.
“Not like I think anyone here’d give a damn. Obviously. But...old habits. You know.”
“Yeah,” Steve said. “I know.”
Sam raised his eyebrows. “Ever bother you? You grew up pretty far pre-Stonewall.”
Steve made a note to look that up. “Honestly? Not really,” he said. “Probably should’ve - well. Not should’ve, but...it’s Loki. It seemed...different, somehow. And there were a lot of other things that seemed like...bigger concerns.”
“Yeah,” Sam said after a pause. “I guess the ‘alien who tried to take over the world’ might be a more significant issue. Though then again, when I met Bucky the first thing he did was rip the steering wheel out of my car, so…” He made a face. “My life got weird when I met you, Steve.”
“I’m sorry,” Steve said, meaning it. Sam gave him a sharp look.
“Don’t apologize,” he said. “I volunteered, remember? And it’s not all bad. Most of it’s pretty damn good. I’m not complaining.”
“I got lucky meeting you, Sam,” Steve said. “Guys like you don’t grow on trees.”
“You’re damn right they don’t,” Sam said, but Steve thought he looked pleased.
In the flurry of activity that had followed their return - Loki’s journey to Jotunheim, the preparation for the wedding, generally settling back into something like routine after the upheaval - Steve hadn’t managed to get much time to check in with their newest teammate.
It took a little doing to find her, but he did eventually track her down sitting on the roof sipping from a flask.
“Valkyrie?” Steve called, not wanting to sneak up on her. She raised a hand in a wave without turning around. After a moment he walked over and sat down next to her. “Mind if I…?”
“If I minded, I’d’ve pushed you off the building,” she said. Steve wasn’t entirely sure if she was joking. “Congratulations. So are you Prince Steve Rogers, now?”
Steve made a face. “No,” he said. “Loki’s not...technically a prince anymore.”
“Congratulations to him, then,” Val said. “Asgard’s royal family is a nightmare. Thor’s all right, though.”
“How’ve you been?” Steve asked. “I know I’ve been a little...absent, and I’m sorry.”
She turned her head, eyebrows raised. “I don’t need a babysitter.”
“I didn’t think you did,” Steve said. “But you’re on a completely new planet with a whole bunch of strangers. I know how much it helps having someone to help you settle in.”
Her eyebrows dropped back down and she looked away, taking another generous swallow from her flask. Steve eyed it, wondering again if he should say something. “Thor’s been good,” she said, after a moment. “About that. And the pretty witch. Wanda. She keeps trying to introduce me to her Dora Milaje friends, but I don’t think they like me very much.” She shrugged. “I’m not alone.”
Steve studied her profile and leaned back on his hands. “I’m glad,” he said. “I know I’m happy to have you here.”
She gave him another quick, sharp, stare. “You barely even know me.”
“Maybe not,” Steve said. “But I like what I’ve seen so far.”
Val made a sound somewhere between a “huh” and a “ha.” “You know I was a slaver on Sakaar,” she said bluntly. “I grabbed people who fell and sold them to the Grandmaster. Used the money for booze.”
Steve supposed he had known that. It still struck him to hear her say it. He took a breath through his nose and let it out. “You won’t find many people here who haven’t done awful things,” he said after a moment. “One of my best friends used to kill people for a living. Loki brought an army to this planet. In the end...I’d rather judge you on what you do now than what you did then.”
“That easy,” Val said, though it sounded like she didn’t mean for him to hear it. Steve smiled crookedly.
“I didn’t say it was easy.”
“I guess you didn’t.” She took a sip from her flask, and Steve gave up. He nodded at it.
“Should I be worried about that?”
She stiffened. “No.”
“You’re going to run out of stuff that’s strong enough to work,” Steve said. “And that gets ugly.” He’d seen too many people’s lives wrecked by alcohol, when they didn’t have anything else. “Might be better to start weaning yourself off before then.”
Val gave him a hard, cold, look. “I like you,” she said. “Probably. But don’t tell me how to deal with my shit. All right?”
Steve sighed. He couldn’t be particularly surprised, but he was still disappointed.
“I can handle it,” Val said more loudly.
“Right up until you can’t,” Steve said quietly. “I’ll leave it alone. But if you change your mind…”
“I’ll be sure to come around so you can tell me that you told me so,” she said harshly. Steve shook his head.
“That’s not my style.”
She looked tense, guarded. Steve was reminded abruptly of nothing so much as Loki in those early days, on edge, unsure, prickly to mask his uncertainty and unease. He leaned back on his hands and turned his head so he wasn’t looking at her. “I just want to know if there’s something I can do to help. If there isn’t...there isn’t. But you’re here, and that means you’re one of us now.”
She snorted. “One of you, huh? Who’s that?”
A team. A family. Both. “I think we’re all still figuring that out,” he said. “You’re not the only one who’s a little lost.”
“Yeah,” Val said after a pause. “You do seem to be a fucked up bunch.”
Steve had to laugh. “I guess we are,” he said. “But we...do all right. Mostly.”
She raised her flask in his direction, but he noticed that she capped it instead of taking another drink. “Mostly’s better than nothing.”