Chapter Text
A hand coursed through his hair. A beautiful, soft humming filled his ears. Familiar fingers caressed his cheek.
A burning seared through his throat.
“Hurts…
"It will be alright.” Gentle hands wiped away the tears that spilled over.
“Please.”
What was he pleading for? He was hurt and he was sure it was his own fault. Nothing to be done about it.
“Rest.”
Something burned through his veins and he felt it race down his arms and legs, causing them to cramp harshly. He cried out.
More hands appeared, stroking his face, holding him still.
“Relax, relax, Paladin Lance. All is well,” said the whispered voice in his ear.
All is well.
He was safe. He was warm. He was loved.
Surrounded by soft blankets and pillows and wrapped in familiar arms.
"We love you so much.”
Lance sighed. That was right. They loved him. Sayna loved him.
Sayna.
No.
Wait.
That couldn’t be right.
Sayna was before. Enseldia was far in the past.
“I love you so much.”
No. Please. No. Not right. Not right! It’s wrong!
He wasn’t back there. He wasn’t!
With all the strength he had, he pushed away the gentle hands. Not this time.
There were more hands on him once more and he struggled hard. He wouldn’t let this happen again. Never again.
Voices around him began speaking loudly, but he outmatched them.
He shouted for help.
They wouldn’t leave me alone. They wouldn’t leave me with them.
They had said he wouldn’t have to go back.
Keith had promised.
Lance screamed louder.
Shiro didn’t know Lance’s sister very well. But in the short time he’d been around her, he’d found her to be capable, intelligent and calm under pressure. When she burst into Keith’s hospital room with a look of panic, he knew something had gone very wrong.
He had been sitting with Keith, keeping his unconscious form company and holding down the fort until Krolia could arrive.
Shiro knew Lance hadn’t woken up yet and his stomach plummeted, assuming Lance’s recovery had taken a turn for the worse. Why else would Veronica look so shaken?
“It’s Lance,” Veronica inhaled a quick breath. “He’s woken up, he’s calling for you and the others.” Screaming. Lance had been screaming. She swallowed down her nausea. “Shiro, I don’t think he knows where he is.”
Shiro was on his feet and moving out the door in an instant.
“Coran- he was calling for him. But I’m not sure… Coran didn’t seem to want to leave the Princess.”
That was true. Coran had been very protective of Allura while she was being attended to by humans and he was frustrated that he couldn’t read the scans that were done on her. He’d been loyally staying at her bedside even after she’d woken up. Though he hadn’t exactly said it, Shiro knew he had been particularly scared for her.
“Let me try to talk to him first.”
Veronica was nodding. She was breathing as evenly as possible as she walked briskly down the corridor, leading the way back to Lance’s room. “A nurse came in when he started yelling and I think she made it worse. We told her to leave, but she said she would come back and sedate him if he couldn’t stop and relax.” Veronica took a deep breath and Shiro could see Lance in the action. Lance always took a breath like that when he was summoning his courage. “Dad’s holding him down. Mom’s upset.”
Veronica halted her report abruptly, aware that she was probably saying too much. While she had worked to detach herself for a moment, the fact was that her younger brother was screaming and crying in terror at something she could not see or save him from. It ripped at her heart and shook her down to her bones.
They rounded the corner and saw most of Lance’s family in the hall. They had all been there, of course, and they had quickly ushered the kids out of the room, away from their hero uncle and his violent sobbing.
Shiro gave the group a quick nod and squashed down the awkward, horrible feeling that clambered up his throat.
Because Shiro knew what this was about. It didn’t matter how many good days Lance had. If Lance woke up crying it was always about the same thing. Shiro took a deep breath of his own and opened the door.
“Please let me go. Please let me go back.” Lance was crying; struggling against his father's arms.
Lance’s father was speaking lowly and it took Shiro a moment to realize he wasn’t speaking in English. Though Shiro’s Spanish was deplorable, he could understand the intention behind Lance’s father’s words.
Caring parents trying to soothe their children sounded nearly the same in every part of the Galaxy.
“Please… No more. It hurts. Please, Sayna.”
Shiro ignored the way his gut plummeted at the name. It had been a long time since he had heard it.
He tried not to look at the boy’s mother who stood near the foot of the bed.
Too late, he then recognized the feeling that had risen up inside him.
Shame.
Because Lance had suffered so much on his watch. And Shiro always knew that he would be the one that would have to tell their parents if something happened to them in space. He used to have nightmares about bringing home corpses.
But this situation wasn’t what he had prepared for; and now it felt like it wasn’t his story to tell. It should come from Lance; when he was ready to talk about it with them.
Also. Maybe Shiro was too ashamed to tell them himself.
So much for being the adult of the group.
With as much respect as he could, Shiro moved to Lance’s bedside and quietly asked the boy’s father to step away.
“He ripped out his IV,” the man explained, hesitant to let Lance out of the steady hold he had on him.
“I won’t let him hurt himself.” It was a promise. Shiro struggled to keep his voice even as memories of Lance cutting up his own hand resurfaced.
Shiro must have seemed reliable enough because in the next moment, strong hands released Lance’s arms and the boy tried to push himself off the bed.
“Lance, it’s me.” Shiro grabbed his shoulders, keeping him in place. He could see the streak of red now leaking from the IV site on Lance’s arm and staining the sheets. “It’s me, Shiro. You’re okay. You’re okay. You’re on Earth.”
Lance had stopped struggling, but Shiro couldn’t tell if Lance was really hearing him or if he was just worn out now from fighting off his family.
“Listen, you’re in a hospital on Earth. The team is here, but they got hurt, so you can’t see them right now. You got hurt, alright? It’s okay if you don’t remember-” Shiro realized his mistake too late.
“You’re lying! You always lie!” Lance squirmed hard, trying to free himself.
Shit.
“Don’t touch me!” Lance cried desperately, twisting hard in Shiro’s grip, but he held fast.
Shiro had forgotten. Sayna always told Lance he was confused due to some injury that Lance couldn’t quite remember.
“Lance, it’s me! Sayna’s not here. I promise.” Shiro was eyeing the IV bag, realizing they had probably administered some pain medicine that was probably clouding his mind.
“Lance, look. It’s me. Your mom is here and your dad. You’re on Earth. Remember?” Lance pushed against his chest, fighting with all the strength he had to get away. Shiro thought about Sayna and the Enseldians. Lying to him, shushing him, hurting him.
Lance always fought so hard.
“It’s been- damn- sorry, I don’t know your day count, but it’s been so many days.” Shiro had lost track along the way. So many things had happened since then.
Not knowing what else to do, Shiro pulled Lance into a tight embrace. He wrapped his arms around his shoulders and held him close. “It’s been so many days for us. Way more than 100. Probably more than 200 even. I promise, you’re safe.”
Lance stilled.
Shiro hoped it was enough.
“Sh-Shiro?” Lance sounded unsure. Shiro breathed out in relief.
“It’s me. It’s me.”
Lance shuddered in his arms. He took in a shaky inhale before he turned his head and cried into Shiro’s neck.
“I thought I’d gone back! I thought I was there again,” Lance sobbed the muffled words into Shiro’s uniform and Shiro didn’t care that he would soon be covered in tears and snot. He was so relieved that Lance was back with them, not stuck in a prison of his mind. Lance didn’t deserve that.
“You’re not going back ever again. I promise.”
“Dear boy.”
Shiro jumped, not realizing the door to the room had opened and shut again. Shiro turned his head to find Coran at his shoulder, looking tired and slightly heartbroken over the scene in front of him.
Veronica nodded from her post beside her mother. After bringing Shiro, she had almost immediately slipped out to get Coran. It wasn’t that she didn’t believe Shiro could help, but her brother had called for Coran more than once. She decided she would bring every member of his team to the room if that’s what it took to calm him.
Lance turned his head and peeked out from behind Shiro’s shoulder at the Altean.
“Coran?” He whispered.
“I’m here, my boy. Did you have a nightmare?”
Lance exhaled deeply and Shiro felt the energy draining out of him. Coran brushed hair off Lance's forehead gently, pausing a moment to cradle Lance’s head in one hand.
“A nightmare,” Lance’s voice wavered, but he set his jaw and nodded resolutely. Just a nightmare. She couldn’t hurt him anymore.
“Rest easy, you are safe.” Coran patted his shoulder gently.
Lance nodded again and Shiro lowered him slowly down onto the hospital mattress. Lance’s eyes fluttered. After his breakdown, he was spent and in danger of dropping off back to unconsciousness.
“Don’t tell my mom. She’d worry about me.”
Shiro glanced in the direction of Lance’s mother who wore a set frown on her face. She looked a bit like she may have been fighting back tears, but she mostly looked ready to fight the person who had hurt her son. There’s no way she had missed the way Lance had pleaded to be let go. Pleaded with Sayna.
It still seemed like Lance’s story to tell.
“Lance, your parents are here,” Shiro didn’t want to lie about the situation. “But it’s okay. They’re just worried about you,” he added quickly.
“Mom’s here?” Lance sounded relieved and mortified all at once. His eyes opened wide and darted about wildly.
“Over there, dear boy,” Coran nodded his head, motioning to the other side of the room.
“Oh, h-hey,” Lance whispered when his eyes fell on his mother. “I’m sorry. I’m okay. Mamá, está bien. Estoy b-”
Lance’s mother came stomping forward. Her deep frown remained.
“You don’t lie to me.” Her words were a harsh whisper, edged with unshed tears and a surprising anger. “My son doesn’t lie to me.”
His mother grabbed his shoulders and pulled him into a rough embrace. “Mijo, you don’t need to say you’re fine if you’re not.”
“I…” Lance swallowed back a building sob. “I will be okay. I promise.”
Lance was determined. He was going to be okay. He’d made it too far to be anything besides alright.
His mother carded her fingers through his hair and he tensed at the action.
It’s mom. Just mom. Get a grip.
“I’m tired.” Lance forced out. It wasn’t a lie, he felt like his mind was slipping away from him and his eyes were drooping. He just wanted to sleep this off.
His mother kissed his forehead and told him to sleep as she lowered him back down onto the bed. Before his eyelids drifted shut, he saw Shiro and Coran quietly moving toward the exit. Shiro gave him a slight nod when their eyes met and Lance tilted his head in response. They could talk later. When things had settled down and Lance was feeling better. For now, Shiro could leave Lance with his family. They would look after him.
Shiro was grateful that Coran waited until they were out of Lance’s family’s earshot in the hallway before he started speaking.
“Shiro, did you tell these human doctors that Lance has had seizures in the past?”
“No, I didn’t.” Shiro tensed his jaw, preparing for the headache that didn’t come. “I didn’t think of it.”
“They should know.”
Shiro nodded.
“And,” Coran took a deep breath before continuing on, “they should be careful about administering painkillers. He has a history of addiction, as unwilling as it was.”
“I will tell the doctors.” Shiro felt like he had a huge weight bearing down on his shoulders. He hadn’t thought about that. Lance had been doing well. “Discreetly.”
“You think it would be best for Lance to tell his family himself.” Coran was pulling at his mustache in contemplation. He had already guessed Shiro’s line of thinking, but he still brought it up. He knew it helped Shiro to talk through things sometimes.
“If I told them… it feels like breaking his trust,” Shiro admitted. “Though, I’m not sure if Lance will ever want to tell them what happened, they should know.” Shiro furrowed his brow. “I don’t know if it’s my place to explain it… they’ve probably already figured out some of it.”
Coran reached over and patted the middle of Shiro’s back.
"Steady, Captain.”
Shiro let out a humorless laugh that sounded closer to a breathy sob. He was so tired.
“Yeah.” Shiro swallowed down his sudden nausea, unable to say anything else.
“It will be alright.”
Shiro nodded.
They would all be alright. Just like they always were. He was sure of it.
It is important for you to rest. You are still injured.
Lance’s mother stroked the side of his face.
“I love you so much.”
Lance bit his tongue and willed his heart to slow.
This is earth. You’re on earth. You’re with your mom.
His mother wiped the silent tears falling down his cheeks without word.
You are safe.