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He got that it was supposed to be fun. There were several cameras set up in the room and he wasn’t really locked in. Except he was, alone, and the fear that jolted him when the door locked surprised him.
Yoongi understood what he was supposed to do; it was just a stupid escape room. Just that. There were cameras on the walls; they were supposed to see who could get out first. There were people on the others side of the door, the host of the show they were on as well as the other members.
All those logical thoughts flew out the window, however, because the door was locked from the other side and his heart rate picked up. He was locked in a room and couldn’t get out and it was back.
The panic built up at an alarming rate and he couldn’t stop himself from trying the door. The noise he let past his lips was just as panicked as his breathing had become and he backed away from the door, blinking suddenly blurry vision.
You’re being an idiot. He bit into the inside of his cheek and looked around the room. The place was a cluttered mess. It wasn’t anything like the room Jae had locked him in. It wasn’t. Then he blinked and thought maybe it was.
That irrational thought led to others. He was locked in, after all. It could be the same. What if it was? Jae had gotten to him in their apartment complex while they were being guarded after all. What if they just left him there again? Maybe they’d turn off the lights on him too.
He was alone in a locked room. Again.
His legs gave out on him as his breathing became shallower and he curled in on himself. It was fine. He was fine. You’re not back there. He brought his knees up to his chest, folding his arms over them and buried his face there, digging his fingers into his upper arms in an attempt to ground himself.
It wasn’t the same. It wasn’t. They weren’t going to leave him there, right?
He jolted again, scrambling back when the door banged open a few seconds later, for just a few seconds sure that it was Jae again, standing there. Then the person stepped further into the room and Yoongi stood to launch himself at Seokjin.
The older boy caught him easily and Yoongi clung to him. “Hyung,” he said, still breathless and panicked. “I can’t…please.”
“It’s okay. You’re okay.” Seokjin smoothed a hand through his hair. “You’re not locked in. You’re safe, okay?”
The others crowded around them after Jin took him out into the studio and Yoongi could hear the apologies being made by the hosts but couldn’t focus on them. He was crying, and hadn’t realized it before but couldn’t find it in himself to be embarrassed about it, not yet anyway.
He let Jin carry him out of there.
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Guilt squeezed Seokjin’s insides and he saw the same emotion playing in Namjoon’s when he looked up from where Yoongi was sleeping against his chest in the car. They’d stayed at the studio for a while after the failed show. Jin had taken Yoongi into one of the deserted rooms and sat with him in his lap until he’d finally fallen asleep.
They should have known, should have protested the idea when it was proposed. It didn’t matter that he hadn’t shown any signs of this before. He wasn’t claustrophobic and seemed fine with them in elevators and the like. They still should have known locking him in a room by himself wasn’t a good idea.
“Hyung?” Taehyung’s voice was quiet, worried.
Jin looked up and they were all watching them worriedly. He smiled softly. “Maybe we could do your pallet idea again? I’ll keep him in our room while you set it up?”
The kids relaxed just a little bit and nodded, most likely happy to have something to do to help.
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When Yoongi woke, it was too Namjoon snoring in his ear. His head hurt and his eyes ached in the way they always did when he cried himself to sleep. It was an embarrassingly common occurrence since what had happened to him. After a few seconds, he propped himself up on his elbows and grimaced.
They were in the living room again, on the floor. He was pressed in between Namjoon and Seokjin this time and he dropped back down to stare at the ceiling for a bit. He’d been sleeping in his own bed more lately, hadn’t needed to crawl into someone else’s bed, and it had been a while since he’d cried like that.
Shame crawled up in him. He’d had a complete breakdown in front of a fucking film crew and two hosts. Just because he couldn’t handle an escape room. Maybe all that progress Namjoon liked to say he’d made was just a big farce.
He pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes. At least the show hadn’t been live. He’d only embarrassed himself in front of the people who worked there, not everyone who would watch it if it had been.
He flushed as he remembered how he’d clung to Seokjin. It was the same way he’d clung to Namjoon after he’d gotten away from Jae. Maybe he hadn’t made any progress.
“Hyung?”
He gave a start at the voice and dropped his hands to see Namjoon and Jin staring down at him worriedly. He frowned, opened his mouth to apologize for how weak he’d been but Namjoon beat him to it.
“I’m sorry! I should have realized how bad of an idea it was, and I’m sorry.”
“Yeah, we all should have.” That was Hoseok; they were apparently all awake now because he watched as they all nodded with the same guilty expressions.
“No,” he said, a little horrified that they felt guilty for that, “you don’t…I’m just so stupid…I thought…I thought that-”
“Yoongi,” Seokjin cut him off, voice sharp, “You’re not stupid. You’re not weak either, so don’t say it.”
Yoongi sat up, pulling his knees up to his chest again. “What would you call it then? I thought…I thought I was stuck again. There were cameras, we were in a studio and you were all outside the door, and I panicked because it was locked.”
“Fears like that aren’t rational, hyung,” Jimin said.
“Yeah,” Jungkook agreed, “besides why would we think you’re weak? You’re still doing your job after what happened. Even the media said how amazing it was how fast you came back, remember?”
Hoseok nodded along with them. “So you have one phobia. Everyone has them. Nobody’s going to think less of you.”
“Nobody does,” Seokjin said, pulling Yoongi into his side again. After a moment, he relaxed into Jin’s chest and blew out a breath.
It was still embarrassing, that he’d had the breakdown in front of other people but he supposed the people that really mattered were in the room with him.
“Thank you,” he said finally, into Jin’s shirt. He caught the others grinning before they piled around in a big group hug. Yoongi grumbled, but smiled at the same time.