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the way you used to do

Summary:

Catra pressed her ear to the other side of the door. Shadow Weaver’s threats were coming through loud and clear. How much of Adora’s memory was that witch planning on taking? Catra tapped an experimental claw against the door control. Sealed. Her tail lashed, and she took a slow breath, trying to think. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. Maybe Adora would just forget the rebellion, forget leaving the Fright Zone. Maybe things would just… go back to the way they were. That would be fine, wouldn’t it?

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Letting the guards take her to Shadow Weaver had seemed like a good idea at first, but when she’d stepped into the room to see Glimmer unconscious in a stasis field and the restraining table that awaited her, Adora had started to second guess her plan. Catra, watching quietly from the corner, was quickly becoming her last hope, and as much as she wanted to believe in her, the last few weeks had suggested that was an iffy prospect.

“Glimmer! Glimmer, I’m here! Don’t worry, everything will be okay - I’ll save you!”

Catra folded her arms, watching the Horde soldiers wrestle Adora onto the table and strap her down as she shouted for the unconscious princess. Since when were those two best buds, anyway? Two, three weeks with the rebellion and Adora was already screaming that pink fluff’s name like she was the only thing in the world that mattered. Well, whatever. They’d be trading her for the Queen soon enough.

“What have you done to her?” Adora demanded, glaring at Catra. Before she had a chance to respond, Shadow Weaver drifted into the room and the whole world got darker. She settled a hand on Catra’s shoulder, almost affectionately. Almost.

“Leave us,” she hissed to the guards still standing around Adora’s prison. Then, turning her attention to Catra, “Report to the Force Captain barracks and pack your things. Now that Adora is back, there’s no need for you there.”

There’s - what? Catra bristled under Shadow Weaver’s long-fingered hand. “Seriously? After everything I’ve done for you - it’s still her you want!?”

She barely got those last few words out before Shadow Weaver’s shove, along with a bellow of “I said go!” sent her skittering for the door. Catra paused and turned at the threshold, meaning to glare back at the sorceress but somehow catching Adora’s wide-eyed, pleading gaze instead, which she held until the door came down between them. Why does Shadow Weaver still want you, and not me?

“Shadow Weaver, I’ll stay here with you willingly, but you have to let Glimmer go first.” Adora tried to sound stoic, but having watched Catra walk away, she couldn’t help but feel the panic start to rise.

“You are correct, Adora, you shall stay willingly. Because I am going to wipe your mind. You’ll have no memory of She-Ra,” Shadow Weaver spat, “or of the time you spent with the Rebellion. Everything will be as it once was.” Shadow Weaver’s hand was cold on Adora’s cheek, a touch she’d been so pleased to receive just weeks ago now filling her with dread.

“As for the princess, once I’m done, you’ll be happy to have her as your prisoner.” The lilt in the sorceress’s voice made Adora shudder as arcs of magic started jumping from her fingertips.

Catra pressed her ear to the other side of the door. Shadow Weaver’s threats were coming through loud and clear. How much of Adora’s memory was that witch planning on taking? Catra tapped an experimental claw against the door control. Sealed. Her tail lashed, and she took a slow breath, trying to think. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. Maybe Adora would just forget the rebellion, forget leaving the Fright Zone. Maybe things would just… go back to the way they were. That would be fine, wouldn’t it?

A shout from Adora, getting shriller the longer it went on until it was a scream. Catra’s claws extended on instinct, and she pounded a fist on the inoperable door control with a frustrated yell. You’re hurting her. Don’t hurt her.

Inside the Black Garnet Chamber, Shadow Weaver’s touch had turned burning hot, sending stinging jolts through Adora as her vision started going red, eyes open or closed. She knew she was screaming; she called out for Glimmer one more time, but no help came. She couldn’t even hear herself over the static in her ears, and before long, she couldn’t do much of anything at all.

***

The first thing Adora noticed as consciousness faded back in was the throbbing in her head. She groaned quietly and squeezed her eyes tighter shut, willing it to pass, but after a moment she accepted that she’d just have to open them and move on. Move on from what? This wasn’t her bunk she was lying in. She peeked through her lids to find the bright lights of the infirmary above her. Oh. Well, that explained some things, at least.

“Adora?” Leaning forward too eagerly, Catra almost pitched off the edge of the chair she’d been perching in, catching herself on the lip of the medical table where Adora was finally, finally stirring. She wasn’t technically supposed to be in here. Her patrol’s route took her past the infirmary, and she’d figured Lonnie would be equally touchy whether Catra showed up to relieve her five minutes late or twenty, so here she was. “Adora, how’s your - can you -” It only now occurred to Catra that she had no idea how far back Shadow Weaver had rewound her. In a slightly more subdued voice, she ventured, “How’s your, uh, head?”

“Catra? Hey,” Adora said with a small smile. She hadn’t realized someone else was here at first, but of course Catra would be hanging around if she was - what was she, how had she ended up here?

“My head hurts like hell. What happened, why am I here? We were on a skiff, right? And, and now I’m in the infirmary? I’m missing something.” The feeling made her stomach twist.

The skiff. All the way back to the fucking skiff. Catra made her face twist into its usual smug grin, made herself flick Adora’s nose with the tip of her claw the way she normally would. “Don’t freak out, but yeah, you’re missing something all right. We uh, crashed the skiff. Remember? And you hit your head, and you’ve been out for -” fuck, how long, “- like a month.”

Adora’s twisting stomach dropped all the way through her feet. “A- a month?” No wonder Catra’s smile looked so forced, she could have been dead. She reached for the other girl’s hand, trying to ground herself. That felt right, at least, even if the rest of reality felt a step removed. She closed her eyes again and tried to steady her breathing. “A month. Okay. Alright. Wow.”

The way her fingers wrapped around the back of Catra’s hand was familiar, solid - Adora had always had a strong grip - and Catra squeezed back without thinking, and then she did think, and her tail gave a guilty swish. “Yeah, a whole month. We were starting to think that maybe - well, Shadow Weaver said -” She glanced down at the insignia pinned to her lapel. “She said we, uh, couldn’t keep waiting around for you to wake up, so she, she sort of made me Force Captain.”

“Catra, that’s great, congratulations!” Adora felt a genuine smile spread across her face. Not knowing if she was going to live was hard to deal with. Knowing that her friend had gotten the promotion they’d both been after for years was easy, so she focused on that. Adora tried to sit up, but inches from her pillow her head swam so badly she almost passed out. Once she’d blinked her eyes back into focus, she smiled at Catra again. “Maybe once I’m on my feet again we can figure out how to celebrate.”

“Whoa, slow down, don’t knock yourself out.” Catra pressed Adora’s shoulders back down onto the table and peered at her narrowly to make sure she stayed put before allowing herself to deal with what Adora was actually saying. Oh, yeah, she’s happy for me. For making Force Captain. She dredged up a laugh. “I’m, uh, it’s. It’s kind of a temporary thing, actually. We were down a Force Captain while you were out, but now that you’re back - uh, you know, back with it - Shadow Weaver will want you in the position.”

Adora patiently let Catra assure herself that she wasn’t going anywhere, smiling at the little look of worry on her face. “Well, maybe we can both talk to her now. You know I don’t want to be Force Captain without you, we’re a team. I bet you’ve done great while I- this month.”

That made Catra look away, though she’d been truly determined not to. Why would Shadow Weaver want me, when she could have you. Never mind that I faithfully served the Horde the entire time you were off getting cozy with a bunch of fucking princesses. “I doubt she’ll go for it, but if you wanna talk to her, we’ll talk to her.”

Adora reached up, gently touching Catra’s cheek. “We’ll figure it out, okay? I’m just, I’m glad I’m back, I guess.” Was ‘back’ the word? Close enough.

Am I glad you’re back? Like, all the way back here? Would it be different if she’d rejoined the Horde voluntarily? Betrayed the rebellion? Swooped in and stolen the promotion Catra had worked hard to earn in her absence? Catra genuinely wasn’t sure, but she covered Adora’s hand with her own anyway and mustered another grin. “Yeah.”

***

Catra wasn’t getting demoted until they released Adora from the medbay. She still wore the insignia on her chest the next time she snuck in, well after hours, having slipped out of the captains’ barracks, exhausted but unable to sleep. She didn’t fit at the foot of Scorpia’s bed nearly as well as she had in the cadet’s bunk she’d shared with Adora all those years. Scorpia was so long. And sometimes she snored.

No one here at this time of night. Catra sidled past the empty surgery room and into the infirmary, where Adora’s was the only occupied bed. At a glance, she seemed asleep. Catra paused and listened to her breathing for a moment before hopping up onto the foot of the bed and curling up in a neat ball, the soles of Adora’s feet resting lightly against her back through the blanket.

Adora barely woke as she shifted in the bed to make room for Catra, enjoying the familiar presence. She was almost asleep again when she realized she should say something. “Catra, didn’t think you were supposed to be in here.” It came out as something between a yawn and a tease.

“Since when has that stopped me,” said Catra, a little more defensively than she’d intended, wondering if Adora had been sleeping alone this past month, or whether she’d found a princess to cuddle up with, maybe that pink one, or if she hadn’t, if she’d been able to sleep at all. Not that Adora would know, if Catra asked her. “Go back to sleep.”

Adora hummed gently in acknowledgement and settled in. She’d slept well enough for the last night or two, particularly with the painkillers they’d given her, but for the first time since she’d woken up she felt herself properly relax. Before long, she was out again.

Adora’s breathing evened and slowed, and Catra felt a month of tension leave her body. Her plan had been to keep watch over Adora, make sure her head didn’t start acting up again, but this was the first time she’d been comfortable in a bed in a month and fatigue got the better of her. She tucked her face into the crook of her arm and let herself pass out.

***

The rest of the week passed uneventfully, even if Adora was itching to get out of bed and back to her squad. Shadow Weaver visited once and seemed content with her recovery process. Adora had half expected to be reprimanded for taking the skiff, but apparently being in a coma for a month had diffused any issue there.

When she was finally cleared for standard operations, Adora found her team waiting to happily greet her. Even Lonnie found it in herself to smile and clap her on the shoulder. Adora couldn’t help but feel like there was something strange in the air, maybe tension over Catra’s promotion? But the relief of being back after a week, no, a month, she reminded herself, easily overwhelmed any lingering negativity.

Catra, for her part, was sulking. The minute Adora was signed out of the medbay, Shadow Weaver poofed in out of nowhere to confiscate Catra’s insignia and pin it to Adora’s uniform instead. Adora protested, but Shadow Weaver wasn’t having it. Their old squad had been briefed on the mind wipe situation and were playing along with the story that Adora had been concussed and unconscious for the past month. And now things were back to the way they had been - except Catra knew what it was like to have power, to have authority, and then not have it anymore.

She went to visit the prisoner. That always cheered her right up.

***

Catra, it turned out, was not the only one sulking. Glimmer’s cell was as nondescript as they came, but she’d found her favorite spot in it early on. As she’d been for the better part of a week, she was sitting on a bench, wedged into the far corner, knees pulled tight to her chin. She glared at Catra as she approached, but had no interest in starting a conversation.

Well. That was just too bad. “Hey, princess.” Catra smirked through the force field at the huddled girl in the back corner. “How’s it going in there? Miss your mommy yet?”

Glimmer’s nose wrinkled. “Why don’t you let me out and I’ll show you how I’m doing? Standing offer~” she chimed, before sinking back into her ball. The worst part was that every time Catra came by, she couldn’t help thinking about Adora. Adora beating up Catra, but still.

“Tempting, but can’t,” said Catra, inspecting her claws. “You’re just gonna have to sit tight until mommy dearest decides to ransom you. Which she still hasn’t done, by the way. Wonder how long she’s planning on letting you languish?”

“She’ll get me out, you’ll see, me and Adora. Then we’re gonna smash the whole Horde. You’re gonna regret ever coming to that prom.” Glimmer was fuming, but she could feel angry tears starting to gather in the corners of her eyes.

Oh, that’s rich. Me and Adora. Catra giggled, leaning in close to the force field to stage-whisper. “Really, because between the two of us I don’t think it’s me who regrets showing up to prom.”

Glimmer knew she couldn’t teleport out of this room. She’d tried dozens of times, and yet, in that moment, she figured one more shot couldn’t hurt too much. With an angry shout, she dove towards Catra, turned into sparkles, was surrounded by frankly very painful dark magic, and materialized on the floor in front of the cell door, breathing heavily. She glared up at Catra, determined not to put on more of a show that that.

“Aw, princess, you know that shit won’t work,” said Catra, tapping the door control to open the food slot. She reached through and ruffled the girl’s hair, and her hand came away speckled with glitter. Ugh. Gross. Dusting her palms together, Catra closed up the slot and sauntered away from the cell, saying over her shoulder, “By the way, if the Queen ever does turn herself in, you can tell her that Adora will pass on the whole rescue thing. She’s here because she wants to be.”

“Liar!” Glimmer bellowed down the hall after her. Adora wouldn’t betray her like that. She wouldn’t just leave her here, she wouldn’t. Glimmer sat on the floor for another minute, thoughts of rescue and Adora and her mom swirling around, but eventually she retreated to her corner, resigned for now to sit there and wait for her friends.

***

The next week was a whirlwind for Adora. There was a lot for a new Force Captain to learn, and even more when she’d been out of commission for a month before her promotion. Apparently, the princesses had been conspiring against the Horde, and had successfully repelled several advances with their newfound cooperation. It was a grim forecast, but luckily there had been a turn. Just recently, the Horde had managed to capture a high ranking princess who had been attempting to infiltrate the Fright Zone, and Shadow Weaver seemed to think that she might be the bargaining chip they needed to take down the Queen of Bright Moon before her evil could further repel their advances.

The meetings took a lot of time, but Adora was glad to attend them all and did her best to get back up to speed. She’d been dreaming of this for years, and she had no intention of letting Shadow Weaver down.

It was Kyle, of course, who gave away the game. He approached her after squad training, fumbling with the straps of his sim-vest, visibly perspiring. “C-captain Adora? I’m not, uh, feeling so good, and I’m supposed to f-feed the prisoner today, so, uh… uh…. Is there a-any way you could, uh, take over for me while I report to m-medical?”

Adora just sighed quietly. “Go get checked out, cadet. Whatever the problem is, we don’t want it getting worse.” The rest of the squad had other duties to attend to promptly after training, but she had a moment now to pass through the prison sector before her evening briefing. Besides, she hadn’t actually had a chance to see this princess they’d captured yet, and part of her just wanted to find out what kind of sinister creature she was.

She grabbed a tray of rations from the kitchen and headed to the lifts, calling out to the operator to send her up to the top level. As Adora approached the cells, she saw a girl, probably about her same age, sitting in the corner scowling and looking away from her, apparently refusing to acknowledge her captor. Adora paused for a moment still carrying the tray and took in the full sight. She was small, still wearing a tattered dress, probably what they’d caught her in. Her hair shimmered menacingly, displaying the destructive potential she held within, and Adora found herself glad for the barrier that separated them.

“Dinner, prisoner,” she barked, opening the food slot.

At the sound of Adora’s voice, Glimmer lifted her head with a sharp gasp. “Adora! Oh my gosh, you’re okay!” She scrambled off the bench and over to the force field, reaching for Adora’s hand through the slot, eyes huge and shining. “I thought they were never gonna let me see you -”

Adora’s actual words caught up to Glimmer’s brain then, and she faltered. “Wait, aren’t you... a prisoner too?”

Adora pulled her hand back, recoiling from the princess’s touch. She had looked so genuinely happy for a second there, but nothing she was saying made any sense. “Why would I be a prisoner? Wait, how do you know my name? This is some sort of trick, isn’t it.” Princesses were dangerous, who knew what this one was up to.

“Adora, what -” Glimmer sat back on her heels, stunned. “I’m your friend, me and Bow are your friends, we were building the princess alliance together. Don’t you remember? W-what did that awful sorceress say to you?” Her voice started to wobble, but she pushed staunchly on. “I would never try to trick you, Adora.”

“The princess alliance is a threat to the stability of the Horde, why would I support it? And I’ve never seen you before, or anyone named Bow. You clearly are trying to trick me, and if you don’t back up, you’re not getting dinner tonight.” She finished firmly, more out of self defense than actual anger. Adora didn’t know what this princess was trying to do, but it was getting more and more distressing. This visit was starting to feel like a bad idea.

To Glimmer’s horror, she found herself dissolving into tears as she scooted back a few feet. “Adora, why don’t you remember me?”

Adora felt a small shiver of doubt pass down her spine, but she knew what she knew and this princess was trying to confuse her. “I’ve never met you before.” She had meant it to sound firm, but as she set the tray down inside the cell and stepped back, the girl’s tear-streaked face put a damper on her conviction.

“Y-yes you have, you were with us for a month, you -” Glimmer did her best to gulp back a sob, but it burst out of her anyway. “You’re She-Ra. You’re my hero.”

“I’m- I’m not.” Adora had never felt less confident about something she knew was true. She took two step backwards, not quite willing or able to look away, then managed to turn around and flee. The elevator started moving as soon as she stepped on it, and she wasn’t sure she’d ever been more grateful. It wasn’t until she was half way down that she realized why she was so uncomfortable being told she’d been with princesses for the past month. She shuddered, and went to get dinner.

***

Adora had been lost in thought all night, but it wasn’t until Catra started to curl up at the foot of the bed that she thought to say something to anyone. “Hey, Catra? Can we talk for a little bit?”

“You sure it can’t wait til tomorrow?” Catra said through the fake yawn and stretch she’d affected to disguise her guilty startled jump.

“Just a couple minutes? I’m tired too.” Adora shifted slightly to the side, making room hopefully.

Putting on a show of rolling her eyes, Catra uncurled and crawled up the bunk to resettle herself neatly into the crook of Adora’s arm, her legs tucked up beneath her. They had started doing this as kids, lying with their heads close together in order to whisper to each other after lights-out without bringing down the ire of the other cadets. The habit had stuck. “What’s up?”

Adora hesitated and decided to ease in a little bit. “So um, what’s up with our drawings?” She glanced over Catra’s head at the claw marks gouged through their childhood portraits of each other, wondering not for the first time what had happened.

Well, fuck. This was gonna take some quick thinking. “I, uh, oh, that? I kicked it, I think. Having a nightmare or something.”

“Oh.” Adora reached out and ran a fingertip down one of the scratches and along the curve of doodle-Catra’s head.

Catra swatted her hand away, with less vigor than usual. “Come on, Adora, don’t. You’re making me feel bad.” Not a lie, but not even close to the whole truth. Adora didn’t need to know how recently the bedding on this bunk had been replaced, or why.

Adora sighed gently but acquiesced to a change in subject. “There was another thing I wanted to tell you about. So you know how Kyle’s sick? I took dinner to the prisoner for him, and- and she said some things. She acted like she knew me, like we’re friends, and I know it was a trick, but, I don’t know, it shook me up, I guess.” She pressed in tight to Catra, glad to not be alone in her thoughts finally.

Fucking Kyle. Shadow Weaver would have his head on a spike if she found out about this. “Well, yeah. Princesses and their mind games, am I right?”

“Yeah, yeah. It was weird, she . . .” Adora trailed off, thinking of how to say it without sounding ridiculous for even considering it. “She was crying and telling me I knew her, and she said that I’d been with the princess rebellion for a month. And obviously that’s fake, right? She’s totally lying. But. I lost a month. And I know I was here, asleep, but still. It’s just creepy.”

For not the first time this week, Catra’s tail was flicking with barely concealable nervous energy. “Okay, who would you rather believe?” she said, attempting to sound accusatory. “Me, who was with you when you hit your head and the whole time you were in the infirmary -” not strictly a lie, “- or this enemy prisoner you don’t even know?” Also not a lie; Adora didn’t know that girl, not anymore. But Catra caught herself wondering, for not the first time, just how well they’d gotten to know each other in the month Adora had been away. She wasn’t jealous, just. Wondering. She carded her fingers through Adora’s hair, another leftover childhood habit. “She’s trying to get in your head, Adora, that’s how princesses work. She’d probably do anything to get you to doubt yourself.”

The way Adora had screamed Glimmer’s name. Adora didn’t even remember doing that, but Catra could hear it perfectly, playing it back in her head over and over, trying to understand where all that emotion came from after only a month. Which especially sucked, because usually when she was trying to sort through this kind of puzzle, it was Adora she talked to. But Adora didn’t remember.

Adora leaned her head gently into Catra’s touch without even really thinking about it. “You know I trust you. Especially over her. It just psyched me out, you know?” She’d had an arm around Catra in a sort of spatial sense, but she properly hugged her then.

You know I trust you. Catra, nestled snugly in Adora’s arms with the top of her head tucked under Adora’s chin, genuinely debated telling her friend the truth. The thing is, the princess isn’t lying. Shadow Weaver wiped your mind, made you forget. You left me. I tried to bring you back, even though I knew Shadow Weaver would throw me away as soon as she got her hands on you again. I missed you. Yeah, right. The bright strands of Adora’s hair slipped through her fingers in the dark. A few bunks over, another cadet was snoring.

She tilted her head up and licked Adora’s chin, a little dry flick of the tongue. “Tell you what, I’ll feed the prisoner until Kyle’s back on duty. You don’t have to see her anymore.”

Adora smiled and felt a gentle blush spread across her cheeks. She leaned her head down and pushed her face into the fluffy front of Catra’s hair. “Okay. Thank you.” Tilting just a little further down, she pressed a small kiss to the top of the other girl’s head.

A purr resonated in Catra’s chest for a short moment before she remembered she was lying to Adora and promptly untangled herself from Adora’s embrace. “Yeah, whatever. Can we go to sleep now?”

“Oh, yeah.” Adora let her hand slip from Catra’s shoulder, and they shifted back to their usual positions in the bed. It still took some time for her to fall asleep, even with a calmer mind than before, but before it became too frustrating she managed to drift off.

Adora dreamed that night. Tall towers of glowing stone and metal and plants and ice, smiling people she almost recognized, a bright light surrounding her, warm misty baths and a soft kiss. She slept well, and when she woke, the dreams were gone.

***

It was hard to believe, at times, the standards of incompetence these cadets constantly held themselves to. “So let me make sure I have this right,” Shadow Weaver hissed, spreading darkness throughout the room. “The captive princess, our greatest enemy, asked to speak to the one person I forbade her to speak to, and so you let her?”’

Kyle quailed in his boots, as was his wont. His stomach still hurt. The medics had told him they could find absolutely nothing wrong with him and had discharged him after fifteen minutes with some mild muscle relaxants and stern instructions not to miss any more of his anxiety medications. “I-I-I-I-I didn’t - I wasn’t - Sh-shadow Weaver, I -” The thing was, the girl had seemed kind of sweet, once Kyle got past being terrified of her. And she clearly missed Adora, had begged Kyle over and over to let her see her. If Shadow Weaver wasn’t confident that her mind wipe would stick, he thought, a bit mutinously even as he trembled before her, maybe she should have done a better job.

“Bah! ‘You didn’t.’ If I could demote you from cadet, I would!” A slight motion in the corner of Shadow Weaver’s eye drew her attention. “Get out of my sight before I find something more creative than demotion to afflict you with.”

As Kyle fled for his life, Shadow Weaver turned her attention upwards, searching. “I know you’re here. Don’t think you are free of fault.”

“I brought you Adora and the princess, didn’t I?” Catra dropped down from the rafters with a neat aerial somersault. She couldn’t pass up hearing Kyle get chewed out, so the eavesdropping was her fault. But nothing else. “Remind me again why Adora is Force Captain now, and not me?”

“Precisely because we keep having these sort of talks. Perhaps if you learned some respect for your commanding officers, I wouldn’t find the idea laughable.” Still, she wasn’t wrong. The raid on the princess ball had been an overwhelming success, really, even if it was being handled adequately at best now while they waited for the queen of Bright Moon to get her act together and ransom the girl.

Catra scowled and folded her arms, leaning back against a pillar. The red light of the Black Garnet cast Shadow Weaver in imposing silhouette, except for her weird creepy glowing eyes. “Lord Hordak respects my work.”

“You have performed better recently than I would like to give credit for, given your attitude. That said, it is unacceptable that Adora spoke with the princess. This is your first and final reminder that it is your duty to prevent such meetings above all else until further notice. Is that clear?”

“Wh- that’s what you’ve got your tentacles in a knot about? I had nothing to do with that! Kyle’s the one who fucked up!”

You are supposed to be watching her!” she bellowed. The room went pitch black, and Shadow Weaver towered over Catra. “Now, again, do I make myself clear?” Her voice was a whisper from every direction. A direct verbal threat was not necessary.

Catra did flinch. She wasn’t proud of it. Get out of my head, witch. “What do you want me to do? Follow her around twenty-four seven? Follow her into the shower?”

“I will leave that to your discretion, cadet.” She spat the last word and parted the shadows behind Catra, revealing the door. “Now, leave.”

The temperature in the chamber dropped by degrees the longer Catra stayed bristling in place. She hissed, once, flashing her fangs, then spun and made for the exit, muttering a mocking singsong, “I will leave that to your discretion -” The door slammed inches behind her. Catra was very glad no one was in the corridor to hear her yelp.

***

Life went on for Adora. With the strange princess in the prison largely forgotten, she mostly focused on her duties as Squad Captain, training her team and planning with the other captains. It was a good life, one she’d always wanted, but she couldn’t help feeling that things were somehow off.

The first indication came during a group sparring session. A free-for-all had largely turned into a captain-v-all, and Adora found herself twirling through combat, her staff deflecting and dealing out blows in every direction.

Content for the moment to let her other squadmates do the attacking, Catra crouched on a crossbeam above the melee, watching Adora spin and kick and duck and strike out with her practice staff, moving fluidly from one stance to the next, catching Lonnie’s arm as she threw a powerful haymaker and flipping the other girl over her hip with a grunt of effort. Kyle had flown across the room a moment before, slamming into a support beam with the imprint of Adora’s boot on his chestplate. Hm. Maybe it was time to intervene.

Catra sprang, feet first, aiming to land on Adora’s shoulders, but found herself instead pitching forward as Adora shifted and rolled under her. In moments they were both on their feet, face to face, Adora grinning widely and a little bit tauntingly. “Nice of you to drop by.”

“Looked like you could use a little more of a challenge,” Catra fired back, grinning with all her teeth. She feinted with her staff, then planted one end of it on the floor and swung off of it into a flying kick.

Adora almost moved to block the bluff but spun at the last second, catching Catra’s foot with her staff and flinging her past. The dodge only kept her safe for a moment though, as she faced Catra and took an offensive stance.

“Out of practice?” said Catra, circling Adora at a slow prowl, staff gripped loosely behind her. Pre-rebellion Adora wouldn’t have fallen for that feint; she must not have been keeping up her sparring there. No one to spar with, probably. Luckily for Catra, that dumb slip of the tongue could have been referring to Adora’s supposed month in bed.

“Not enough to lose to you,” Adora called back. She hesitated just a moment longer than she hoped Catra would expect before launching herself forward, leading with a lunge then shifting her grip to swing the butt of the staff straight at Catra.

Catra leapt out of range of the first strike and ducked the second, letting the staff tip hit a recently recovered Lonnie who’d been sneaking up behind her. She stumbled back with a hand over her bleeding nose, an indignant “Ow!” muffled in her palm. Catra spared her only the briefest smirk before diving under Adora’s arm and coming up behind her, staff already sweeping out to catch her legs.

Adora sprung backwards over Catra’s attack, came up to her feet, choked up on the staff and swung a measured slice at her torso. The attack was about halfway to its target when her brain caught up to her body and she realized that this was the kind of bullshit technique her old instructors would have had her running laps over. She could practically hear the Captain bellowing, “a staff is not a sword,” even as the hit glanced off Catra’s blocking arm and crashed into her jaw.

“What the fuck was that?” Catra said from the ground, holding her throbbing jaw, staff forgotten. She could taste blood on her teeth. “Adora?!”

Adora dropped her staff and stared at Catra in horror. “I- I’m sorry, I don’t know what that. What I. I’m sorry.” She dropped to a knee next to Catra and reached out hesitantly, wanting to fix it but not knowing how. It had been a dirty hit, the point of this hadn’t been to maim each other. “Let me take you to the infirmary, please.”

“No, stop, it’s - fuck off -” Catra swatted Adora’s hand away and worked her jaw in a few experimental circles. The joint popped, and she winced. There’d be a bruise. “Why did you swing at me like that?”

“Come on, Catra,” said Lonnie nasally, pinching the bridge of her nose. There was blood drying on her upper lip. “We should both get patched up.”

Catra didn’t move, holding Adora’s gaze, challenging. “Why did you swing at me like that.”

Adora paused with her mouth open, feeling like she should have an answer but struggling to find words. She felt time stop around her as she replayed the scene over and over, looking for a reason she’d suddenly acted against a decade of training. “I didn’t mean to,” she finally said, feeling small. “I don’t know.”

The real kicker was that everyone in this room knew why, except for Adora. Catra got to her feet, glared at Adora furiously for a moment - god, it wasn’t even Adora she was pissed at - then spun on her heel and stalked out of the training chamber, massaging her jaw. She-Ra, you can’t have her. She doesn’t want you. Fuck off.

***

The bruise was livid on Catra’s jaw the next day when she returned to Glimmer’s cell, not even bothering with the pretense of a food tray. “Heard you talked to Adora,” she said by way of greeting, stepping off the lift with a jaunty swish of her tail. “Heard it didn’t go well. She seemed kind of upset, actually.”

Glimmer felt her face tug between a scowl and sorrow. She’d decided she hated Catra, but at the same time Adora had seemed scared of Glimmer the other day and she still hadn’t really been dealing with that well. “What did you do to her?” She asked, ignoring the taunts as best she could.

Catra put on a look of exaggerated surprise. “Oh, I was gonna ask you that.”

“Me?” Glimmer asked, taken aback. “I just showed her that you’re evil.” She settled decisively on a crinkle-nosed scowl.

Maybe that little pout worked on mommy dearest, but Catra wasn’t interested in the innocent act. “Mm, did you, though? Is that why she came to me all, ‘Catra, the prisoner tried to get into my head, you’re the only one I can trust’?”

“Adora trusts me, you just. . . just did something to her!” Glimmer clenched her fists as she stared Catra down from across the cell. “I’m gonna figure it out, and I’m gonna save her.”

Oh, this was too good. Catra got right up on the energy field and bared her fangs in a grin, tongue against her lower lip. “Adora doesn’t know you.”

Glimmer would have traded just about anything for something to throw at that moment. “Adora loves me!” she shouted back. She felt her face turn hot as soon as the words left her mouth, because they hadn’t really talked about it like that and she’d only kind of thought maybe that she was feeling that way and it was all so complicated, but the reaction was worth it.

If the princess had marched up to the front of the cell, reached her arm through the slot, and slapped Catra across the face, she would have taken it more stoically than this. As it was, she felt herself jerk back, pupils narrowing to slits, making a sound like she’d had the wind knocked out of her.

Adora loves me!

She hadn’t. Had she? Not after just a month. It wasn’t like they’d had years together.

Scrambling to recover, Catra pounded a fist on the door control and stormed through into the cell. She strode to the far end, seized Glimmer by the front of her stupid frilly dress and dragged her off the bench, hefting her up and slamming her into the wall. “Who is She-Ra?” she hissed, holding the struggling princess tight.

Glimmer wanted to teleport out of the cell more than she’d wanted anything in her life, but she knew nothing but red sparks and pain awaited her attempt. “She’s Adora, who do you think?” she spat as she pulled at Catra’s hands.

“Not without that sword, am I right?” No more playing. Catra’s tail lashed as she hauled Glimmer up on her tiptoes to snarl into her face. “She can’t just turn into a huge muscle lady whenever. No sword, no She-Ra. Right?”

Glimmer resisted for a moment, but as her toes started to leave the ground, she relented. “Yeah, she needs the sword. Why, did She-Ra give you that?” she taunted, nodding at the swollen bruise on Catra’s jaw.

At that, Catra unceremoniously dropped her in a puff of skirts and turned to exit, pausing just beyond the force field as it powered up in her wake. “What, princess,” she said, a slow smile curling the corners of her mouth. “Never seen a hickey before?”

“Wh- That’s not . . .” It took Glimmer a second to compose herself and get back to her feet, and by the time she made it up Catra was already on the lift down. “That’s not what that looks like!” she shouted. “Probably. Liar,” she followed up, just to herself.

***

Something had been bugging Adora during meals for the last few days, but she hadn’t quite been able to place what it was. She’d kept her growing discomfort to herself, but eventually, a few nights after the sparring incident, she had gathered enough evidence to voice a tentative theory. “Do you ever wish the food was sort of, I don’t know, better?” she asked her squad during a lull in the conversation.

The others stared at her with varying degrees of blankness. “Better how?” said Kyle finally, through a sticky mouthful of colorless hash.

“You know, like um, different flavors? Or maybe cooked . . . different?” The more she spoke, the less confident she was that anything she was feeling made sense.

Rogelio, sitting beside Kyle as usual, rolled his lizard eyes. “Adora, food just tastes like this.”

“I mean, yeah, I know.” She ate another forkful of creamed vegetable and thought for a second. “I guess. Does it have to?”

“What do you want it to taste like instead?” Lonnie was getting visibly exasperated. “Look, Adora, if you don’t want it, I’ll eat yours. Pass it over.”

Catra narrowed her eyes and said nothing. The bruise on her face had only just faded to an off-yellow. Was Adora starting to remember? What if Shadow Weaver fucked up? Didn’t get it all? As a team, they’d kept up the ruse pretty well so far, even after Kyle let her see Glimmer like a fucking idiot. Why was she starting to remember?

Adora took a few more bites, feeling her appetite wane with each new glop, then finally pushed her tray over to Lonnie. Hopefully she’d feel more interested in eating when she woke up hungry. Why was she feeling so, so bored? It was food, it was what it was, and yet. She sighed and stood up. “I’m going to turn in early. Training at our usual time tomorrow.”

***

Adora’s dreams weren’t usually this frustrating. Not that the dreams themselves were challenging but that whenever she woke up from one recently, she could never quite grasp what it had been about, and yet for some reason she desperately wanted to. She felt like she was getting closer though. Every night they seemed a little more vivid, and most mornings she could swear it wasn’t the first time she’d had whatever dream she’d just had.

Not memories of faces, but memories that she’d seen faces. Not delicious flavors, but having tasted something. Not breathtaking views, but having lost her breath at something.

Adora sinks into the bath, almost uncomfortably hot, but perfect. She sighs, a smile spreading across her face as every muscle in her body relaxes at once. Glimmer steps in next to her, beaming to see her relaxing already, and Bow sits opposite them, his eyelids drooping. Before long, he’s asleep, and Adora and Glimmer are leaning against each other, chatting quietly from time to time but mostly they’re content in a peaceful silence. “Hey Adora?” “Yeah?” “I like you, I think.” A blush, two blushes. “I like you too.” Smiles now, an arm around a waist, a hand on a cheek, the softest, kindest kiss Adora could imagine. They hold each other and smile for another moment, then Glimmer rests her head on Adora’s chest and in a breath they’re both asleep.

Adora woke slowly, still feeling warmth in her cheeks. She could almost feel soft breath on her lips, and that was somehow worse than never having dreamed at all.

***

Adora didn’t like the conclusion she was coming to. She wanted to ignore it, but too many things were off, just slightly wrong in a way she didn’t quite understand. She had to talk to someone, but she knew Catra wasn’t going to have any of it, and as much as she hated to admit it, the princess seemed to think something was up. She found a spare moment between a meeting and training, and when no one else was looking, she slipped off to the prison wing, flashed her badge at the guards, and headed up to face the strange girl.

Glumly, Glimmer scratched another tally mark into the wall with the broken zipper she’d snapped off her tattered prom dress. Almost three weeks. Why hadn’t the sorceress sent for her yet? Why was there still no word from the Queen?

How had Adora forgotten?

That was the conclusion Glimmer had come to. They’d done something to Adora, made her forget. She didn’t know the specifics; nobody would tell her details, but that Catra girl had made it sound like there might still be some subconscious… something lingering at the back of Adora’s mind. If she comes to see me again, maybe I can jog her memory. Maybe if I tell her about the sword? About She-Ra? Maybe if I tell her what she - what we -

Glimmer sighed and settled back on her bench, drawing her knees up to her chin. Not that the Horde would let Adora back down here, anyway.

Adora reached the cell and looked inside, hesitating for a second. Really, the princess didn’t look that scary when you thought about it. More sad than anything else, really. How did this conversation go? Hey um I was wondering were you not lying? Hi tell me what’s wrong with me please? How did you even address a prisoner that you weren’t commanding? She settled on, “Um, hi, princess.”

Glimmer jumped a little at the voice, but then hurried to slip down off the bench and go to the front of the cell, smiling in spite of herself. “Adora! Y-you came back!” It was still a little weird to hear her call Glimmer ‘princess’ instead of, like, her name, but this was good. She could get Adora to remember.

Adora put her hand on the back of her neck and tried to make eye contact. “Yeah, I- I can’t believe I’m doing this, but things have been kind of weird recently? And I don’t know why. And I still don’t really trust you, but I’m not sure where else to go. So. Can we talk?”

Okay! Okay. This was good. As long as Glimmer managed not to spook her, they might actually get somewhere this time. “Yeah, of course,” Glimmer said, settling cross-legged on the floor. “How have things been weird?”

“Things have just been, I don’t know, off, since I was in the infirmary I guess. I shouldn’t be telling you this. I fell, and I guess I was unconscious for a while. Like, for a month.” She couldn’t think about that anymore without thinking back to their first meeting here, and the way a pit had opened in her when the princess had said they’d been friends for a month.

It was so frustrating that whatever they’d done to Adora, Glimmer hadn’t seen it happen. She had no clues to go on here. “Adora, who told you that you hit your head?”

“Catra and Shadow Weaver, they wouldn’t lie to me.” She wished she felt as confident as she wanted to feel saying that.

“Adora -” Glimmer looked up at her, big eyes, trembly lip, the whole thing. Always worked on her mom. And it had worked on Adora too, before. “I know you don’t remember anymore, but when we went to Mystacor and you kept saying that Shadow Weaver was there, seeing her around every corner, hearing her voice? Adora, you were scared of her. You didn’t want her to take you back to the Horde. You didn’t -” the wobble in her voice wasn’t an act, “- you didn’t want her to hurt us. Me and Bow. You cared about us.” You kissed me, in the bath, Glimmer almost added, but thought better of it.

Adora struggled silently for a time. That wasn’t what happened, but at the same time, it could be, couldn’t it? Could she have made friends? Betrayed the Horde? “Why?” she asked quietly. “Why would I have left?”

“You had never been to a party before,” Glimmer said softly, smiling a little at the memory. “You said you’d never tasted such good food. You didn’t know how to dance.

Adora shook her head and sat down, mirroring the princess through the force field. “That doesn’t sound right.” True, she was inexplicably tired of the food here now, but still. “I wouldn’t betray the Horde just because you gave me food. Or whatever those other things are. Your story doesn’t make sense.”

Neither does yours, Glimmer didn’t say. “The Horde attacked Thaymor. People were running, screaming. You used She-Ra’s sword to defend them, to drive the tanks away. You - you said something about how the attack was supposed to be against a military base, but you saw that it was a peaceful village. You saw that the Horde had lied to you.”

“Wait, what? Thaymor was supposed to be a heavily fortified rebel fortress, not a civilian town. We were defeated there, turned back by a powerful princess, they caught me up on all of this when I woke up.” Something was wrong. Adora knew what she knew but everything the princess said made some kind of sense to her. She wanted to reject it all, call her a liar, but she couldn’t.

“That was you, Adora! That was She-Ra!” Glimmer could hear the desperation in her own voice, but she couldn’t make herself calm down. “You saved those people, and I might not have trusted you before then, but after that I knew you would help us. And you did.”

Adora squinted, “You called me that before, what’s She-Ra?” Glimmer had trusted her?

If only they had the sword, Glimmer could show her. But they didn’t, so a stumbling explanation would have to do. “She-Ra is a - a legendary warrior princess. You turn into her when you hold the Sword of Protection, you get all tall and muscly and your hair gets really long and…” Glimmer trailed off, realizing how absurd she sounded. Adora would never buy this, even though it was true.

Adora smiled and tried not to laugh in her face. “Sorry, what, I transform into a giant killer princess? I was kind of following you, but that’s way too much.” Still though, she felt weirdly comfortable just sitting here, chatting with this girl who was supposed to be her enemy. Something dawned on her. “What’s your name?”

Glimmer tried not to let the hurt show on her face. It was hard. “I’m Glimmer. I’m your - I’m your friend.”

It was a nice name. “I guess you already know I’m Adora.” Some small, rebellious part of her wanted to power down the energy field, test out her story. Obviously that was ridiculous, but the impulse was there. Adora looked at her knees for a minute, weighing her options. She thought about dreams she couldn’t quite remember, hesitated, and made her choice. “Tell me- tell me about what we did together.”

“We -” Swallowing hard, Glimmer thought about the baths again. “You and me, and Bow. We traveled to Perfuma’s kingdom, and Mermista’s, and we convinced them to rejoin the Princess Alliance. We protected their people from the Horde. We visited my aunt Spellcasta and turned the Horde back in Mystacor too.” You kissed me in the bath. “Every place we went, that Horde girl Catra was there, waiting for us. Trying to capture you and take you back to the Fright Zone.” She would have been in huge trouble if the Queen were to find out that Glimmer was telling a Horde soldier all this, but Adora was her friend, even if she didn’t remember.

Bow. Adora yet again failed to remember a dream and felt her head get light. All these places, too, names that she’d heard in mission briefings that sounded so different coming from Glimmer. Thoughts of grand halls she couldn’t picture and beautiful towers that may as well have not existed fought in her mind, made her dizzy. She almost tilted over, but stuck out an arm to catch herself at the last moment.

“Whoa - Adora!” Without thinking, Glimmer reached out, the palm of her hand buzzing against the force field. “Are you okay?”

“I’m f-fine.” Adora gave a few heavy blinks, trying to clear her head, and after a moment the swimming stopped. As she focused on Glimmer again, she felt her breath catch. She was looking at her with maybe the most unguarded concern Adora had ever seen. It didn’t make sense how much she wanted to meet the hand Glimmer had raised. She shouldn’t have cared that this captive princess seemed to care about her. “Look, I need to go. I need to think.”

“Okay,” said Glimmer, feeling small. Don’t leave me alone in here, she wanted to say, but if Adora needed space to figure things out, Glimmer wasn’t about to discourage her.

Hopefully, the next time Adora came back, it would be to let her out.

Adora almost fell as she tried to get up. It felt like being back in the infirmary, right after she’d woken up, her head all swimming, everything feeling far away. She looked back to Glimmer one more time. “I’ll be back, okay?” She wasn’t sure what would happen when the time came, but she was pretty sure it would, even if thinking about that made the world spin.

Pressing both hands to the crackling force field, Glimmer gulped back tears and said again, quieter, “Okay.”

***

It was a long walk to the meeting Adora was now ten minutes late to, especially when she needed to catch herself against a wall every fifteen seconds. She apologized and insisted she was fine when she finally got there, but when she missed her chair and hit the floor she found herself swept away, back to the bed she’d first woken up in.

Shadow Weaver glided into the infirmary in a cloud of dark floating hair and robes, highly displeased, but approached the Adora’s bed with nothing but matronly concern in her manner. Wouldn’t do to worsen the girl’s symptoms. “Adora, I came the moment I received word of your condition. Whatever is the matter?”

Adora hadn’t really been prepared to see Shadow Weaver so soon after talking to Glimmer, before sorting out her feelings. “Shadow Weaver, hi,” she said weakly, the actual head fuzz hopefully masking the guilt she was feeling. “I’m not sure. Head’s all swimming. Just tired probably.” It was a terrible excuse but she was hopeful for some time alone.

Accursed girl had been consorting with the prisoner again, no doubt. Clucking her tongue behind her mask, Shadow Weaver laid a cold hand on Adora’s brow in a show of worry. “My dear, have you been sleeping well? Perhaps you ought to transfer to the Force Captains’ barracks, away from those noisy cadets…” As she spoke, she took Adora’s face gently in both hands, allowing a subtle trickle of black energy to flow from her fingers.

Best to remove the last hour or so from the girl’s mind, just in case. And she really was getting too old to share a bunk with her sharp-tongued little friend.

“Really, Shadow Weaver, I'll be okay,” Adora insisted, quickly pushing her hand away. She was feeling paranoid; she could trust Shadow Weaver, surely, but she couldn’t help feeling on edge at her touch. “I’m probably just dehydrated or something. I’ll be back on my feet tomorrow, I’m sure.”

Hmm. Adora suspected, definitely, but Shadow Weaver oughtn’t press her luck by attempting another wipe. She straightened and gazed down at Adora for another moment, pale and sweat-sheened on the bed. “Very well. See to it that you rest, Adora. I will instruct the physician to contact me should your symptoms worsen.” And with that, she floated out of the infirmary to fume in peace.

Adora watched her go, feeling her fear recede. She hated feeling like Glimmer might be right, but she didn’t know what else could be happening. She’d sleep on it, that was the plan. Hopefully she genuinely would feel better in the morning. Trying not to let her thoughts keep spinning, Adora closed her eyes and eventually fell asleep.

***

Unbelievable. She’d gone back to the goddamn princess.

After getting shouted at by Shadow Weaver for allowing Adora out of her sight again, Catra almost didn’t feel like dropping in on Adora in the infirmary this time. But guilt got the better of her. Not over disappointing Shadow Weaver - she did that every day of the week - but over lying to Adora for so long. Not that the Horde hadn’t been lying to its cadets for years about, well, pretty much everything, and not that Catra wasn’t a little smug about having figured that out quicker than her peers. But this - pretending Adora had never been gone - was starting to weigh on her.

Catra, guilty? If it didn’t suck so bad, she would have laughed at herself.

Fuck you, Adora. You left us. You left me.

Catra couldn’t even be mad at her for that now. She doesn’t remember. Or maybe she does, or will. Watching Adora’s sleeping face, hair falling over her gently creased forehead, one hand resting on top of the blanket, Catra tried really hard to hate her. Really tried, digging up every painful memory, every time Adora got her in trouble when they were kids, every time Shadow Weaver made it clear which of them mattered and which of them was expendable, every time Adora left her behind. There weren’t, in all honesty, too many of those, but Catra brought them furiously to the forefront of her mind anyway, binding the anger about herself as if wrapping her wrists for a fight.

“Seriously? After everything I’ve done for you, she’s the one you want?”

Catra squeezed her eyes shut, tail lashing.

Claw marks through the drawings on the wall. Bedding, slashed to pieces.

“Adora loves me!”

She would not cry.

A kiss on the top of her head.

If Adora’s memory came back, she would leave again. She wasn’t like Catra or Scorpia or the rest of the Horde. She couldn’t know the truth and not care.

Catra couldn’t bring herself to crawl into bed with Adora this time. Scrubbing at her nose with the back of her hand, she padded out of the infirmary to return to their empty bunk in the cadet barracks, preparing herself for a poor night's sleep.

***

When Adora woke in the morning, something was different. At first, she couldn’t place it, but after searching for a moment she realized: she’d remembered a face from her dreams. A boy, about her age, dark skin, short fuzzy hair, a bright smile. She was completely confident she had never seen him before, but she could picture his face as clear as day.

She felt her pulse race. She had to do this right, or it would go very, very poorly for her. When the doctor came around to check in on her, Adora claimed to feel fine, managed to stand without wobbling (while they were looking), answered all the questions correctly. She was already late to training, someone else would be leading, but they’d expect her by lunch certainly, and if someone checked with the infirmary staff they’d say she had left. There was no way an alarm wouldn’t be raised today, but maybe she could keep it from happening long enough to make it out.

She went to the kitchens, grabbed a rations tray when no one was looking. The prison lift guard gave her a strange look when she explained she was bringing food earlier due to a schedule change on her team’s end, but eventually he let her up. Glimmer was asleep, curled up in her corner when Adora arrived, and she felt a pang of guilt seeing her still trapped in the cell, knowing that she had to ask at least one more question before that changed. She called out, “Glimmer!”

Glimmer scrambled awake and only calmed down slightly upon realizing who it was outside the cell. “Adora?”

“A boy, dark curly hair, big smile. Do I know him?” Her hand was hovering over the door controls.

It took her half-awake brain a second to catch up. “Bow? That’s - that’s Bow.”

Adora nodded and took a deep breath. She set down the food tray and powered down the field. “Come on. We’ve got to move quickly, and my head’s still a little wobbly.”

Glimmer sat frozen with one leg off her bench, staring at Adora, wide-eyed and uncomprehending. “What?”

“I’m rescuing you, we’re leaving. I still don’t know what’s happening or who you really are but something is wrong with my memory and Shadow Weaver is in on it and I need to get out of here before she does something else. Please come with me.” She was out of breath by the time she finished, and could feel tears welling up as the frustration of it all set in.

That was more than enough to wrench a sob out of Glimmer. She hurried forward and flung her arms around Adora, burying her face in her friend’s shoulder, cheeks hot with tears. “Thank you, oh my gosh, thank you, thank you -”

Adora was stunned for a beat, but she returned the hug awkwardly, and then found herself relaxing into it. It felt good.

They couldn’t celebrate long, though. Adora pulled back, leaving a hand on Glimmer’s arm. “Come on, I know where we can get a skiff. Put your hands behind your back and walk in front, I’ll guide you.”

***

Shadow Weaver hadn’t explicitly told Catra where she was keeping the sword. But Catra could guess.

She slithered down through the mouth of the air circulation vent in the ceiling of the Black Garnet chamber and dropped, soundless, into the rafters. No one here at the moment, fortunately for her. There was the damn sword, leaning almost casually against the console attached to the massive glowing gem. Catra looked both ways, flipped herself to a service catwalk and then the floor, snatched up the sword, and - an alarm went off. Not here; another part of the complex, but the sirens were still plenty loud. Catra hissed, ears drawing close to her skull, and booked it, sword slung over her back.

***

Things had been going well. They played their parts well enough, and no one was too interested in asking after a Force Captain’s business anyway, especially when they were doing their best to avoid a princess at the same time. Still, news must have spread and someone connected dots, because two thirds of the way to the hangar alarms started blaring.

“Run!” Adora shouted, and took off in the lead. Glimmer kept as good a stride as could be expected after being locked up for so long, and Adora’s head still felt like it was on crooked, so together they made their way clumsily forward.

Catra made good time in the ceiling. She intercepted them just outside the hangar, kicking out a vent cover and dropping down into the corridor directly onto Adora’s shoulders. Still off her game, Adora went sprawling across the floor under her as Glimmer shrieked in surprise. Catra, crouched between Adora’s shoulder blades, tilted her head at the hangar door. “Better get going, princess, before they lock the place down.”

“That’s what we were doing!” Glimmer shouted, moving to knock her off.

“Weren’t you forgetting something?” said Catra sharply, catching her wrist. “Thought Adora was only useful to you people with the fancy sword.”

Adora’s head was ringing, but there had been something about a sword, right? She-Ra? She struggled to roll over and toss Catra off, not finding much success. “Catra, come on.”

“Oh hey, Adora.” Catra said it offhand, as if just noticing Adora for the first time, but her clawed toes dug into Adora’s back as she spoke. “Did your girlfriend explain it all to you? Are you running off into the sunset with her now?”

“My what? No, I just need to go, something’s wrong and I can’t trust Shadow Weaver right now. You can come with us if you get off of me?” she added hopefully.

Glimmer felt her heart sink. She kind of was running off with her girlfriend, as far as she was concerned. It hurt to hear that go unreciprocated.

The alarms were still blaring, red warning lights flashing along the ceiling. Catra’s ears pricked at the thunder of booted feet and shouts drawing nearer. With a put-upon sigh, she stepped off of Adora’s back and lifted her to her feet, gave her a debatably gentle shove in Glimmer’s direction. Drew the sword over her shoulder. Held it out, hilt first.

Adora felt Glimmer put a protective hand on her shoulder as she gripped the sword for a moment, not yet taking it, watching Catra’s face carefully. “Please. I don’t want to leave you.”

It was tempting to drop her gaze, to let go of the sword and turn her back, but Catra made herself look at Adora first, since this might be the last time she would see Adora like this, with hope in her eyes instead of anger. Her voice cracked a little as she said, “You already left me, Adora. You just don’t remember.”

Adora felt her breath stop. Catra had known. She’d lied. Some part of her had known that if Glimmer was telling the truth of course Catra had lied, but to hear it was different. And to hear it like that. She felt her face break, the edges of her vision going blurry with tears. “Catra,” a small sound, quiet, hurting.

She felt Glimmer urge her forward. “Adora, we need to go.”

“Yeah, you better go with her. She cares about you.” Catra did turn away then, fists clenched, summoning a sardonic edge to her voice with great effort. “Honestly, princess, it’s better like this. Maybe Shadow Weaver will give a shit about me once you’re gone.” Not that she did last time, but maybe. Hell, maybe I’ll be Force Captain again. Maybe she’ll send me after you like she used to. That’ll be better than nothing, right?

Adora hesitated for one more heartbeat. “I’m sorry.”

They ran then, the sounds of the Horde close behind. Adora let out a sigh of relief as her codes successfully started a skiff and the two of them clambered on board. The blaster fire had only just started to rain over their heads as they pulled out of the hangar, and before long they seemed to be in the clear.

***

Glimmer kept waiting for Adora to recognize things. She took over driving the skiff when they got to the Whispering Woods and it became clear that Adora had no idea where they were going. Approaching Bright Moon, Glimmer hoped that the sight of the castle towers might jog her memory, but no such luck there either. Bow and Queen Angella came out to meet them, and there was a lot of tearful hugging and rushed explanations, but Adora remained silent and shell-shocked throughout. It fell to Glimmer to elaborate.

“Mom, they took her memory away. She doesn’t remember us, or She-Ra, or joining the rebellion, or the whole month she was here.” She doesn’t remember me.

But the Queen was gracious and offered Adora asylum either way, for which Glimmer was grateful; even if Adora never got her memory back and had to get to know the princesses all over again from scratch, she would need protection from the Horde.

It took Glimmer forever to extricate herself from Bow and her mom, but eventually she brought Adora back to her own childhood bedroom. Adora had crawled into bed with her that first night, Glimmer remembered, unable to sleep alone. “This is my room, but you can stay here too if you want. Your room is right down the hall.”

The arrival had been a whirlwind up to this point, but now with some relative quiet Adora felt herself start to return to reality. That turned out to be a mixed blessing. “I have my own room?” What have I done?

“I mean, you - you did before, and you still do, if - if you want it?” Glimmer hadn’t felt awkward until this exact moment, faltering to a stop as she watched Adora go through the five stages of grief right in front of her eyes. “Ohhhh boy, you’re sorry you left, aren’t you. Well, um, if it makes you feel better, you’ll be safe from the Horde here, if they try anything my mom will, ah…”

Adora looked right past her. “I know something was wrong. I want to believe you. But it’s really hard not to feel like I’ve just ruined my life.” Would it be weird to ask this effective stranger she’d just broken out of prison for a hug?

“Aw, Adora -” Wobbly-lipped, Glimmer threw her arms around her and squeezed, trying her best to be comforting while her own heart broke. Adora, please look at me. Look at me like you did before. Please.

Adora relaxed into the hug quicker this time, letting herself form to the other girl. She squeezed back, feeling every tension, every doubt, every frustration rushing to the surface, and before she had a chance to stop herself she was sobbing, face buried in Glimmer’s shoulder, whole body shaking. It hurt, and it had to come out.

It wasn’t like Glimmer hadn’t cried in that cell, but she hadn’t full-on bawled like she was doing now - tears, snot, drool, the whole thing. She clung to Adora with all her strength, imagining how nice it would be if the way Adora’s fingers were digging into her back meant something.

A part of Adora was glad Glimmer was crying with her, because it gave her permission to cry until she was empty, until there wasn’t another tear left. Glimmer had already stopped sobbing by the time she was done but was still sniffling quietly, so Adora let herself rest in her arms, heads still tucked together. She took a few deep breaths to steady herself before speaking. “I’m not sure what to do.”

It took Glimmer a moment to contain her hiccuping post-sobs enough to say, “S-start over, I guess? Get to know us again?”

Adora nodded slowly, rubbing her forehead against Glimmer’s shoulder. She thought about how thrilled Glimmer had always been to see her in the prison, about how Catra had called her, even sarcastically, her girlfriend. There wasn’t a good way to ask the question on her mind. “Glimmer? How well, um, did we know each other?” Adora shut her eyes and held her breath.

“We - well, ah, we...” Glimmer could feel herself flushing and hurried to scrub the back of her arm over her face, drying her tears. “I… would say we… got to know each other pretty well.”

How flustered she got was an answer in itself. Adora searched for a feeling she couldn’t quite find but wanted to so badly. She sighed and sat up. “I trust you, okay? I want to stay here and figure it out.” She’d halfway un-hugged Glimmer as she’d sat upright, and her hands found their way into Glimmer’s.

Glimmer almost wanted to cry again. Girl, hold it together. “Thanks. For trusting me. I - I want to help you however I can, and, and if that means giving you some space, I totally get it, but if you want, like, the tour, or someone to talk to, I can definitely -”

“Glimmer, you saved me. And I’m still sort of scared out of my mind about everything. But please stay here with me for now, I- I want to be near you, I think.” If the two of them had started to have what she and Catra had never quite let themselves have, she desperately wanted to find it again and to hold on to it with all her might. There were a lot of mysteries around Adora at the moment, but she knew that for certain.

Glimmer beamed through the beginnings of her tears and gave Adora’s hands a squeeze. “You do?”

She had a really pretty smile, Adora noticed. “Yeah. Definitely.” She felt herself start to smile back. It felt good to be like this with her, comfortable even if she couldn’t remember another time. “I’ve been having dreams,” Adora started. “I think they’re important, but I can’t remember them when I wake up, but this morning I did. That’s how I knew Bow’s face.”

“Wait, really?” Glimmer’s heart did a wild somersault. “That’s great! Maybe your memory is starting to come back on its own.”

Adora nodded. “I think so. But slowly. Like really slowly. I wasn’t even sure I was having dreams for the first couple weeks. I think,” she felt her cheeks start to get hot, “I think one of the things I dream about sometimes is something really good that happened. I don’t- I can almost- it’s so close, Glimmer, and I really want it back. I think it’s important. All of it is, but, I want this one.” She tried to make herself look at the girl sitting across from her.

“Was it… this thing that happened, did it happen… in a bath?”

Adora closed her eyes as a wave of dizziness hit her. She could almost feel the water against her skin. She could almost feel Glimmer’s lips. She opened her eyes and met Glimmer’s. “Yes.”

Glimmer thought maybe she’d never blushed so hard in her life. “Do, you, ah, remember, what, happened, in the…”

Adora kissed her. Gently, carefully, giving her all the room in the world to back away. She felt her heart swell. She felt her head swerve. She wanted to keep up the kissing but her memory had other ideas. At first it was single sights, sounds, smells, but the memories grew and tangled and overwhelmed. She felt herself tip, but was too disoriented to catch herself.

Glimmer almost didn’t catch her either as she tilted over sideways mid-kiss, but managed to get an arm under her in time to lower her the rest of the way to the floor. “Adora? Are you okay?”

It took a long time for a month to flash before her eyes, but Adora waited it out. As things slowed down, she found that she could remember names, she could call up faces, she knew the fights she’d been a part of, she knew more, at least, about who She-Ra was. She could remember every moment she’d spent with Glimmer. She opened her eyes and saw her worried face above her, arms cradling her. “It’s all. . .” she whispered, feeling tears spring to her eyes again.

“Adora! Do you -” If Adora hadn’t been sprawled across her lap, Glimmer would have been prancing in place with anxiety. “Do you know who I am?”

Adora felt a smile spread gentle and wide across her face. “Glimmer.” She had been saying her name wrong recently, without enough friendship, affection, slowly budding love. She got it right that time.

Notes:

Hard to believe we're the first ones to leap on the amnesia tag here, but we're more than happy to fill that important gap.