Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

(If you are reading this on any PAY site this is a STOLEN WORK, the author has NOT Given Permission for it to be here. If you're paying to read it, you're being cheated too because you can read it on Archiveofourown for FREE.)

Tony stuck out his tongue and caught it between his teeth. He had to be very quiet or the nursery school angel would catch him and bring him back.

Angel nursery was all right, but Tony missed his momma. She was crying the last time he saw her, and that just wasn't right. He'd told Gabriel and Michael and Raphael that she needed him, but they just smiled and said he was too little to understand the mysterious ways, and after all, she'd come to Heaven in a little while.

Well, Tony didn't want to wait. He'd watched the archangels and he was pretty sure he knew how this flying worked. It wasn't the wings. Not really. A simple flight dynamic equation clearly showed that they were too small even if the shape of the body made a decent fuselage, which it didn't. And shoulder muscles obviously weren't strong enough. So it didn't matter that five year old Tony had stubby gray downy wings and his flight feathers were bare pinions.

All an angel needed was belief. Tony sneaked to the edge of the school cloud and spread his fluffy wings. "I can fly!" he said and jumped off.

It took a lot longer than he thought to get home. He kept getting lost. And he had to hide from the angels who were looking for him. And sometimes he got tired and had to sleep in a hidden place. He found interesting things sometimes, too, like Captain America sleeping in the ice. He wasn't sure why the Captain wanted to sleep there; it couldn't be comfortable, but grown ups do funny things.

But he finally felt he was close to momma. He saw a big car as he came lower. Momma and Dad were in the back seat. Tony smiled. Momma was going to be so glad to see him, and maybe even Dad would be pleased.

Then he frowned. Someone bad was coming. He could feel it, all angels could. It wanted to hurt his Momma. And Dad, too. He looked around until he felt the bad-wrong man. The man was all twisted and broken in his soul. Someone had tried to make him a devil. People weren't supposed to be devils while they were alive. Tony hadn't listened to all the lessons, but he was sure of that.

He flew down right into the bad-wrong man's face. Oh, his arm was shiny! Tony liked it. But the soul should be shiny, too. Tony stuck his tongue out again, and reached in, fixing it. While he was in there, he told the man how to find Captain America. He didn't like to think of the Captain sleeping in the cold.

The fixed man was angry, but he was angry at bad people, which sounded all right to Tony. He was tired, though. It took all he had to fly back to Momma and curl up next to her. She saw him, he was sure of it. He could see how her face lit up and she smiled the smile she had just for him.

And then Michael showed up, and Tony had to go back to the nursery. Oh, well... Momma was happy, now, that was what he really wanted. He sighed and went back to trying to figure out World Peace. Really, what's the point of being an angel if you can't make people be nice to each other?

Tony would figure it out.

Chapter Text

Tony looked at the sparkly stuff inside the big bomb and frowned. "Go to sleep!" He poked at the uranium until it settled into a stable isotope that wouldn't fission no matter what you did. "Good boy!" He patted the bomb casing and giggled at the thought of how silly people would feel when their bombs wouldn't blow up.

There had been a lot of bombs, so many that Tony couldn't get to all of them today, so he had to do some yesterday, and even earlier. Flying back in time was easy, because he was little. He wasn't supposed to do that. Probably. But when the class was discussing the ethics of time, Tony was busy building a special sort of cloud, a smart cloud, that rained when enough people prayed for it to rain and then there was a fuss about that not being in the greater plan. Michael finally said he could keep Fluffy, but Gabriel said Michael was spoiling Tony and while they were talking, Tony took Fluffy for a walk.

And well, there were all those bombs lying around where someone could trip over them and get hurt. So Tony fixed them. Angel Nursery was boring; it was much more fun to fix things than to sing hosannahs with the other cherubs.

Tony had fixed all the bombs and he was bored again, so he rode Fluffy to a laboratory, where they were trying to make the sparkly stuff do work instead of blow up, which Tony thought was a fine idea.

"Oh, no!" he said when he got there and saw the man pushing the sparkly in the wrong way. "Stop!" But the man didn't hear him, because cherubs were supposed to be neither seen nor heard. Tony decided that was a stupid rule. He flapped between the man and the sparkly machine, wings spread and halo lit up as bright as it would go. "STOP!"

The man backed away and sat down, only he missed the chair and fell on the floor. Tony fixed the sparkly and then he turned back to the man. "I'm Tony, but don't tell on me." He sat on top of the machine and swung his feet. "Not 'sposed to talk to people. But you were pushing the sparkly too hard and it was going to blow up." Tony frowned. "Didn't you know you shouldn't push sparkly?"

"I.... I... God, I'm hallucinating." The man picked up a bottle and drank from it.

"You shouldn't drink and derive," Tony said. "That's a joke," he added. "My Daddy said that." The man was still staring at him. "It's math. You know?" Tony sighed. "What's your name?"

"Buhh... Buu... Brian Banner. Oh, God, oh God, I'm as mad as my father." The man put his hands up to his face and started crying. "I'm a monster, too."

"Oh, please don't cry." Tony flitted over to Brian and bent down so he could look up into his face. "You're not a monster. You're not crazy, and you're not sick," he said seriously. "God loves you." He wrinkled his nose. "But drinking makes you feel bad and makes you do stupid things, maybe you should stop?"

Brian picked up the bottle and looked at it. Then he looked at Tony. And finally he stood and looked at the data scrolling from the machine. "It was overloaded. I could have been killed. Or worse. I could have been... damaged." He threw the bottle into a wastebasket and fell to his knees. "It's a miracle!"

"Well, no, because I'm not s'posed to do miracles," Tony said. "That's for saints. I just... did a little fix."

"I'm grateful, oh Lord! I will sin no more! I won't drink, and I won't get angry, and I'll listen to my wife!"

Tony fluttered backwards, mildly alarmed by Brian's enthusiasm. "That's good. 'specially you should be nice to your wife."

"She wants us to have children. Should we?"

Tony was totally unused to anyone asking his advice on anything. "Um... oh, yes! You should have lots of children and tell them all about Cherub Tony, so I can come and play with them without scaring them. Would you do that?"

"YES, YES, I will!"

"Ok, bye now. I have to go," Tony said. He whistled for Fluffy and flew away. He hoped Brian did remember to tell his kids about Tony. It would be nice to have someone to play with who wasn't always singing hosannah.

Chapter Text

"If you can't hold it any longer, you can't," Tony told Fluffy. He peered over the edge of the cloud at the night dark landscape of New Mexico. He didn't see any city or road lights. "Maybe no one will notice. You can rain now."

Tony flitted down underneath Fluffy; playing in the rain was fun. Other clouds gathered to join Fluffy, and the rain came down heavier, pounding the dusty dirt until Tony could smell it even from up high. "Ooh! I could make mud pies!" Tony zoomed down and was happily patting mud when he got a feeling that someone was really unhappy nearby. Leaving his mud to melt, Tony circled around until he saw a funny sort of building, something put together fast and not meant to stay, Tony could tell. He followed the unhappy feeling until he saw the big man crying over a rock. No, not a rock. It was a big hammer. It was a very nice hammer, and the man wanted it, but it was too heavy for him to pick up.

Tony felt sorry for him. He didn't like it when he couldn't do things, either. He really, really, really wasn't supposed to let people see him. Michael said so. Tony liked Michael, but he didn't think it would hurt to watch the big man, and make sure he felt better before Tony left.

People took the big man, all muddy and sad, inside the building, and talked to him. The hammer was a really special hammer, special like Fluffy was special, and Tony felt even sorrier for poor Thor. He decided to just look at Thor to see if he could figure out what was wrong.... oh, Thor wasn't like everyone else!

So... that meant he was a different people, and not the people Tony wasn't supposed to let see him! Tony fluttered into the little room where Thor was sitting all alone after everyone had talked to him, looking really sad. "Hello!" Tony said brightly.

Thor looked up at him. "Hello? I did not know there were any winged Midgardians." He didn't sound very interested.

"When you go to heaven, you get wings." Tony tugged at his halo. "And a shiny, too."

"Heaven... ah." Thor's eyebrows lifted in comprehension. "This is different from Asgard. The ones who leave us stay elsewhere. It is forbidden to mingle with them."

Tony made a wing shrug. "I'm not s'posed to," he admitted. "But, you know, I like people." He sat on Thor's lap and reached up to pat him on the cheek. "I like you. You shouldn't be sad. I'm sure you can get your hammer back. You just gotta keep trying."

Thor looked like he was about to cry again. "I am unworthy to wield Mjolnir. She repudiates me." He sniffled. "Father sent me here, weak and alone, to punish me for my heedlessness."

"Um." Tony wasn't exactly sure what 'heedlessness' was. But he knew about Fathers, and punishments. "Do you know what you did wrong?"

"I think so. It seemed so simple to me. The Jotun have always been our enemies, battling them is how a warrior gains honor! But I did not seek Odin's permission before breaking the truce." Thor sighed. "I wished to enjoy the excitement of true battle, of pushing myself to my limits and I did not think what harm I might do."

"Oh." Tony thought about it. "I don't think beating people is much fun. Couldn't you maybe make friends with these Jotun?"

"Friends? With Frost Giants? It is impossible!"

"So, it would be harder than fighting them?"

"Yes!" Thor paused, with his mouth slightly open. Then he said, "You are right, little one. To forge a lasting alliance with the Jotun would indeed be an heroic act, worthy of far greater sagas than tales of battle. But I can do nothing here. I cannot even speak to my father, to let him know I have changed."

"Maybe I could go to see your father, and tell him you're sorry and you promise to be good?"

Thor's eyes lit up. "Can you find him?"

"Sure!" Tony really didn't know how, but he'd figure something out. "I'll go right now!" Tony flew out of the room and over to Thor's hammer. "Hello, Mjolnir." Now that he was close, he could tell that the hammer was sort of a person, like Fluffy. "Thor's sorry. Could you tell me how to find his father and tell him that? So he could get you back? It's no fun sitting in a rock, is it?" He patted the hammer. "Please?"

Mjolnir was stubborn. After arguing a few minutes, Tony decided to go back to Thor and see if he knew any way to sweet talk his hammer.

Thor was even more unhappy when Tony returned. "You need not seek my father now, little friend. My brother came to tell me that Odin has gone to join the warriors in Valhalla. That is, our 'Heaven'," Thor explained.

"He has? Oh. Well, then I'll go talk to him in Valhalla. That will be easy, because Heaven is Heaven, even if you look at it differently." Tony grinned and flew away without waiting for Thor's response.

He looked, and he looked, and he had to hide a few times from Michael, but while Tony found Valhalla and talked to a lot of people who said they knew Odin, no one had seen him. Discouraged, Tony flew back to Thor.

"I'm sorry. I looked everywhere in Valhalla, and Odin's not there. Are you sure your brother said that?"

"Loki said..." Thor stood up suddenly, knocking the chair over. "No, brother! Did you wish the throne so badly? I would have given it to you!" Thor threw his arms out wide. A wind sprang up from nowhere. Tony's feathers were ruffled. "HEIMDALL!" Thor roared. "BEWARE LOKI! DEFEND ODIN!"

The wind faded. Nothing else happened. Thor fell to his knees. "This is all my doing. I should have died that day. I would die now, if it would undo the harm my unthinking rashness has wrought."

Tony was alarmed. "I don't think it works that ...."

The wall burst, shattered by Mjolnir flying to Thor's hand. Thor stood, surrounded by lightning, clothed in armor, and with a really nice red cape flying out behind him.

"Oh, well, maybe it does work that way for your people, Thor."

Thor laughed and spun his hammer. People were shouting and running, but the hammer spun faster and then Thor was flying. "Good bye, little Tony!"

Tony looked at the smashed wall and the smashed ceiling, and all the people running around, shouting. "Um, Fluffy, I think we'd better go back to the nursery now."

Chapter Text

Tony and Fluffy were playing tag, when Fluffy suddenly disappeared. Tony was impressed; usually he had to pretend not to see Fluffy so as not to make Fluffy feel bad.

"Fluffy? Wheeeree arrre you?" He flew around for several minutes, and then gave up. There wasn't a cloud in sight anywhere. "Ollie, Ollie, Oxen Free!"

Fluffy popped up out of nowhere. "How did you do that?" Tony flew over to Fluffy and discovered a whole giant invisible flying battleship that wasn't invisible once you got past the funny mirrors on the sides and bottom. "OOOoh! How pretty!" Tony landed on the flight deck and looked at all the airplanes. Some of them had sparkly bombs, but there were lots of people around and they might notice Tony putting the sparkly to sleep. Now that he knew about the invisible ship, he could come back tomorrow, or yesterday, and fix the bombs.

But as long as he was here, he could just look. Michael couldn't mind that, could he? Tony told Fluffy to stay near the ship while he went inside. There were so many interesting things happening on the ship! And so many interesting people! Tony particularly liked the black pirate, who must be the captain. It was a little disappointing that he didn't have a parrot or even a monkey.

Tony flitted around the place where the Pirate Captain gave orders and everyone was working, working... except... one man was playing a game on his computer. Tony flew next to him to cheer him on. It was a lot of fun. Tony started thinking about making a game like it to put in the Angel Nursery, to play in between singing Hosannah. He looked into the computer, and found Galaga hidden on a file that could only be accessed if you knew a secret code.

Codes are really just mathematical permutations, and Tony was good at math, so he ran through all the permutations, using a lot of yesterdays to make it faster. He found some games, and some videos of people kissing and ick, he hurried past those and then he found dark, feels wrong, bad, stuff. At first he thought it was another kind of game, people playing Spies, but the more he looked at it, the more it seemed they were really Not Nice People, and they were LYING, which is always very bad.

Tony tried to think what to do, how to warn the Nice Pirate about the Not Nice People. Tony's been trying to be good and not let people see him. Well, except the people who already know him, like the Banner children. They don't tell anyone about him, so that's ok. Tony was still puzzling it over when Pirate Captain greeted a couple of men.

"Ready for another mission, Captain, Sergeant?"

Tony looked up. "CAPTAIN! Yay!" Captain America and the man whose soul Tony had fixed were standing next to the Pirate Captain, talking serious and feeling really good. He was sure they would take care of the Not Nice People if they knew about them.

Galaga guy was just about to finish a level. Tony saw the computer was going to give him a bonus level, and he had an idea. He fixed the game so the hidden codes for the bonus level instead opened up the file of the Not Nice People. Faces and names came up, but Tony couldn't bring up the feel of them. They were just pictures. He hadn't thought about that.

Galaga guy was surprised, and he made a noise. Not a loud noise, and then he tried to shut down the game, but Tony wouldn't let it end.

"Agent, what are you..." Pirate Captain came and stood behind Galaga guy. "Those are secured personnel files."

"Yes, sir, Director Fury, sir, I know. I didn't open them." Galaga guy kept hitting the keys, but Tony kept the computer showing more and more pictures. "It shouldn't even be possible to access them from this console."

Captain America and Fixed Soul man joined Pirate Captain Fury (Tony thought that was a great name for a Pirate Captain). Fixed Soul man pointed at the computer. "I know that man. He's..." he lowered his voice to a whisper. "Hydra."

Pirate Captain Fury glared at the computer. "Well, gentlemen, it seems we have some moles to uncover."

Tony wondered what moles had to do with anything.

Chapter Text

After visiting Valhalla, Tony thought that other heavens might have more interesting Angel Nurseries. At least they might sing different songs.

"Hello," he said to a little girl cherub who was curled up at the back of her Angel Nursery in a heaven called Janna, looking sad. "You're very pretty," he added, because it was true. Her hair was long and smooth and black, her eyes were big and brown, her wings were shiny pink, with gold speckles, and her robe was covered all over with flowering vines. "I like your robe, too." His robe was white, mostly, except that sometimes it got mud or grease on it, but he was a boy, and boys were supposed to get dirty. Momma had said so, he was pretty sure.

"Thank you," she said politely, "My mother made it for me." Then she patted the soft carpet she was sitting on so he sat next to her.

"I'm Tony. And I have a pet cloud. Fluffy is very nice, would you like to meet him?" Tony wanted her to smile. He was sure she had a pretty smile.

"My name is Homa. Where is Fluffy?" Homa looked around the nursery where all the cherubs were playing and singing, and being very cherub, keeping the grown angels busy watching them.

"He has to stay outside. He's not house-broken." Tony stood up and held out his hand. "We can fly to him. He's really, really close."

Homa frowned. "I can't fly."

"Sure you can! I'll show you."

"All right."

Homa caught on to believing to fly very quickly, but she never smiled. Finally Tony asked her, "Why are you sad?"

Homa picked at a loose thread on her gown. "I miss my father. Mother says he will come someday, but I miss him now."

"Oh. He must miss you, too. Why don't we go see him?"

"Can we? Can we, really?"

"Sure! It's easy!" Tony didn't know if it would take as long as it had for him to find his momma, but he wouldn't mind if it took a long time. Homa was pretty, and she was nice, and smart, too.

"Your daddy's down there?" Tony asked. "That doesn't look like a village. You said you lived in a village." They were lying on Fluffy looking over the edge at a narrow space between mountains. There were nets over boxes and big things, and there were people walking around, but there weren't any houses or gardens or shops, like Homa had described.

"He's there. That's not where we lived." Homa flew off of Fluffy, and Tony followed. Once they were below the nets, Tony could see the boxes and things more clearly.

"That's my name!" he said, pointing to the nearest crate. "Stark! They don't belong here! Daddy made them for American sogers!"

"These are bad people," Homa said. Her wings spread wide, and trembled. She pointed to a dark hole in the side of the nearest mountain. "My father's in there."

Tony nodded and took her hand.

It was horrible. They couldn't even let her father see them, because the bad people were all around, shouting at him, and shoving him and being really mean. Homa cried all the way back to Janna, and Tony felt terrible. He had to fix this.

Tony thought, and he thought, and he thought. It would be all right letting Homa's daddy see them, but they needed to make the bad people go away. And he was NOT going to let bad people keep his daddy's bombs and guns. He could fix the bombs one at a time, but as soon as they noticed, they'd get mad and probably hurt Homa's daddy.

Maybe he could make it all blow up at once? Well, that wouldn't be good, because they'd run to hide in the cave and Homa still wouldn't get to see her daddy.

Fluffy nudged Tony. He was bored, and he wanted to rain. "No, not there, Fluffy," Tony said when he looked down and considered the ravines in the landscape below. "All the poor rabbits would have their homes washed.... oooh. Yes!" Tony jumped up. "Fluffy! Go call all your friends!" He flew hard, he had to get everything done before Fluffy had to go. Fluffy sometimes couldn't wait.

Thor hovered over the camp, with Homa and Tony, all of them hidden by the night and Fluffy, who was rain-dark and waddling with it. "Are you certain this is wise, little one?" Thor asked. "I do not wish to commit an act of war against Midgard."

"My daddy made the guns and bombs, but the bad people STOLE them."

Thor's expression cleared. "Ah, they are but sneak thieves and brigands. Yes, I see that you would not wish your father's weapons to be dishonored. Say no more. Shall we begin?"

"Yes! Fluffy, tell them to let go!" Tony grabbed Homa's hand and the two of them flew down, zipping around the bad people and down into the scary black cave, deeper and deeper, with them following Homa's pull to her daddy. When they found him he was sleeping on a cot in a cave with a locked door. He had a thin blanket wrapped around him, and his eyeglasses neatly folded on a stool.

Thor used his lightning on the bombs. It was so loud in the caves, Tony thought it would really hurt your ears outside. Bad people were shouting. Tony figured out the lock on the door and opened it. "Hello!" He hovered in the doorway, and remembered his manners. "I'm Tony Stark. Pleased to meet you."

"I..." Homa's daddy jumped to his feet, and fumbled his glasses on. "I am... Ho Yinsen, and obviously I have just lost my mind."

"No, no, daddy! We're here to take you home!" Homa flew over to her daddy and tugged at his hand. "Come on! We'll take you home, to Gulmira!"

Tony grabbed Yinsen's other hand. "Hurry! It's gonna get wet in here!"

"Wet?" Yinsen said just as the flash flood caused by hundreds of clouds raining in the mountains leading to the camp reached the cave. The water poured in, dragging people and tangled machinery and armaments. The cherubs flew up and took Yinsen with them. He laughed. "If I am mad, it is a wonderful madness."

Thor waved gaily at them, and continued blasting. Even under water the bombs kept exploding. Thor was having a wonderful time. Tony was feeling very good too. This would teach the bad people a lesson.

Chapter Text

This heaven had blue people who had eyes the color of candied cherries. Tony came here because it was a cold heaven and he wanted to teach Fluffy how to snow. The little blue cherubs didn't sing hosannah, but they had fun, play-fighting with icicle swords and some of them could change the way they look. Before long there were a dozen Cherub Tonys and Fluffy got so confused he flew himself into a knot.

All the Tonys turned back into their normal blue and scattered when a nursery Angel approached. Tony looked up. And up. And up. And then up higher. "Oh! You're really big." Tony was impressed.

The big blue angel bent down to look at Tony. "Are you lost, little Midgardian?"

"Uh uh," Tony said. Just then, Fluffy proudly produced a flurry of snowflakes. Tony giggled as the flakes settled on the head and shoulders of the angel. "You look like a blueberry popsicle! I like blueberry," he added, in case the angel felt bad.

The angel sat down next to Tony on one of the ice rocks this nursery had instead of pillows. His lips moved slightly as if he wasn't used to smiling. "My name is Laufey, once king of the Jotun."

"Please to meet cha!" Tony said, holding out his hand the way Momma said gentlemen should do when they meet. "I'm Tony! I fix things!"

Laufey's almost smile widened as he gently took Tony's hand between two of his fingers. "You are a brave little one." Laufey sighed as he released Tony's hand. "My son is like you, great in courage, but lacking in stature."

Tony frowned. "Why's he need a statue?"

Laufey laughed. "Because he was born to rule. He should have monuments reaching into the sky in his honor. Beautiful warrior maidens fighting to be his queen. The glory of leading our troops into battle!" His eyes glowed bright red.

"You like to fight?" Tony had met other warrior angels. Sometimes even when they weren't chasing him out of forbidden gardens.

"It is how my people survive, Tony. We are tested, and tested again. Our land is a harsh one, and we must be unyielding." Laufey frowned. "As a babe, my son was left in the temple for his first test. He was lost. Taken from us."

"Oh." Tony patted Laufey on the leg, trying to comfort him. "You'll see him again. He'll come here."

Laufey shook his head. "He will not. His heritage was taken from him. His spirit is confused, as stunted by the unnatural environment as his body. I fear he shall not be accepted by his adoptive heaven, either, but shall forever be lost to the void of limbo."

Tony didn't understand. "He's goin' to Hell?"

"It... is possible. He committed no Jotun sins, but he strives to be an Asgardian, although it is an ill-fitting cloak. I was so proud when I entered heaven and was told that my killer was my son."

"And that's a good thing?" Tony thought heaven was nice, but killing people to send them there wasn't nice. It was confusing, but there it was.

"Of course! It is how the Jotun king is chosen! When I thought my son dead, I mourned that I should be killed by a stranger, and all my monuments overturned and defaced. Loki did well, he tricked me and slew me without mercy." Laufey smiled, but his smile vanished quickly. "But instead of claiming the Jotun throne, he tries to rule Asgard, and intends to destroy Jotunheim!"

"That's bad," Tony said. "He will go to Hell." He thought a moment. "Loki? Do you mean Thor's brother?"

"No. But yes, that is what he was told." Laufey looked seriously at Tony. "Have you seen Loki?"

"No, but I know Thor. I could find him and he can find Loki." Tony didn't know why so many angels were 'stay at homes', but he'd noticed that hardly any of them left their heavens, no matter what. He'd carried messages lots of times. "Thor said he was going to try to make peace with the Jotun."

Laufey shrugged. "Well, some sacrifices must be made. There are other realms the Jotun could battle. Tell Loki that he has already a kingdom waiting to bow down before him." Laufey twisted his hand and a glowing blue book appeared. "This contains all I know of ruling, of which warriors he may rely upon and which are the most suitable candidates to be queen." Laufey grinned. "I expect grandchildren, gloriously fierce children to keep Loki alert until the best of them sends him to join me."

"All right!" Tony took the book and whistled Fluffy down. "Bye, Laufey!"

"Hello, Thor!" Tony said when he and Fluffy arrived at Asgard. Fluffy went over to flirt with the Rainbow Bridge with Tony flying next to him. Thor was on the bridge, holding hands with a man who didn't feel the same as Thor, so Tony figured he was Loki. "Oh, Loki! Hi!"

Loki glanced at Tony and sneered. Then he let go of Thor.

"FLUFFY! Catch!" Tony shouted even as Thor cried out in anguish.

Loki landed on Fluffy and bounced. Tony flitted over. "Good boy, Fluffy."

"Why have you interfered?" Loki snapped. He looked like he was planning to jump off of Fluffy. Thor looked like he was going to use Mjolnir to follow him.

"Your daddy asked me to tell you to go home." Tony offered Loki the blue book. "There's a throne, and pretty girls and STATUES!"

"Odin's not my father."

"No, no, Laufey! He says that you killed him so good you're king now."

"What?" Loki asked.

"Yes! There's gonna be bowing, and parades and fireworks and CAKE!" Tony was pretty sure if you were king, you got cake.

"Cake?" Loki's eyebrows raised. Then he blinked. "The Jotun would bow down to me?"

"Uh huh!" Tony said enthusiastically. Then he thought a moment. "And he said you should stop fighting with Thor, because he's your brother. Sort of?"

Loki glanced at Thor, who was wearing his best hopeful puppy expression. Loki sighed. "If I must, I must." He opened the blue book and smiled a tiny, self-satisfied smirk. "I was made to rule."

And then Fluffy snowed on the rainbow bridge. Fluffy liked to show off.

Chapter Text

Tony kept exploring Heavens. Earth had a lot of Heavens, and other planets and other dimensions had even more. Lately, he'd begun to notice a problem. Some heavens were unhappy.

That wasn't right. Sure, sometimes a cherub or an angel would be sad, like Homa when she was missing her daddy, but mostly Heavens were peaceful and calm. Boring, even.

Tony arrived at a heaven where the people were so pretty he stopped to admire them. They mostly all looked like the people in Tony's Home Heaven, but they came in different colors! Boring beige and brown, but also raspberry pink and lemon yellow and there was a lone blueberry man!

Blueberry man looked really unhappy. The yellow people were also unhappy, and really no one in the crowd around the Heaven entrance gate looked glad to be going to Heaven.

"Hello, I'm Tony," Tony said politely, after deciding Blueberry man looked the saddest. "Why are you so blue?"

The man looked at Tony. "I am Kirr-Bee, a pure-blooded Kree, not a pink half-breed!" He looked insulted.

Tony scrunched up his face in confusion. "That's nice? I meant, why are you so sad? Heaven is really nice, I'm sure you'll be happy there, once you get in." He looked back at the crowd surrounding the Heaven's Gate. "It may be a while."

The Kree huffed and shook his head. "I don't belong here. This is Xandarian Heaven. I was only visiting Xandar when..." He closed his eyes for a moment. "The Xandarians told everyone to find shelter, that we were being attacked by Thanos, the Planet-Killer. I was running, we were all running, and then... then we were all here."

"If this isn't your Heaven, don't worry, they'll find you and bring you home." Michael was always tracking Tony down, eventually. It had to be even easier to find someone who wasn't running away.

"I asked," the man said gloomily. "Transport is stretched thin, they told me. Populations are being halved all over the universe. Most Heavens are at capacity."

"Oh," Tony said. They turned to look at a line of the lemon yellow people lining up to take seats on a winged catbus. The catbus yawned and his fluffy tail dragged. He looked like he really wanted a nap. His sign read 'Planet Oorga NonStop'.

"They can't spare a bus for one Kree," the man said. "They told me once they caught up, they'd help me. But they're not catching up."

Another group of people in rainbow colors arrived, jostling for space. 

Tony frowned. Then he smiled. "Fluffy and I can take you to Kree Heaven!" He pointed at his faithful cloud. 

Kirr-Bee looked at the cloud and then he shrugged. "Why not? I can't die twice."

It was a long ride, and Tony was bored. "Why is Thanos killing planets?"

Kirr-Bee looked over the edge of Fluffy at the Infinite Void Between, then moved closer to the center of the cloud. "He says he's doing it because there isn't enough food for everyone. He says his own people starved, leaving him the last of the Titans."

Tony suspected Kirr-Bee was dumbing down his answer. Grown-ups did that a lot to Tony. "Wasn't there enough food on Xandar?" Tony didn't remember anyone looking particularly skinny in that crowd.

"Yes, there was." Kirr-Bee shrugged. "He's mad. He says he's doing this out of love, as a father cares for his children." That seemed to end the conversation as far as Kirr-Bee was concerned.

After Tony and Fluffy dropped Kirr-Bee off at Kree Heaven, Tony wondered about Thanos. Maybe if someone explained to him that throwing so many people into Heaven at once was a problem he might stop? Tony would do it, if he could find Thanos.

Who did Tony know who was good at finding people? OH! Thor's friend, Heimdall! "We're going to Asgard, Fluffy!"

Fluffy bounced happily, glad to have a chance to visit the Rainbow Bridge again. He sped up and Tony lay flat, giggling, because it tickled when the wind ruffled his feathers.

When they got there, Asgard was very confusing. Everyone was running and screaming, and there was a really, really big doggie standing on the Rainbow Bridge being all mean. "Fluffy! Rain on the puppy!"

Fluffy had been growing and he was a big boy cloud now. He puffed himself up and rained right in the doggie's face. The doggie yelped and backed up in surprise.

"BAD DOG!" Tony said. He flew down and stared into the doggie's eyes. "No biscuit!"

The doggie whined and lay down, rolling his eyes and looking guilty. A woman wearing black armor with a spiky antlery tree hat- or maybe it was a really big dried up spider? Asgard people wore a lot of funny hats. Well, after Tony got over being distracted by her hat he noticed that she was bringing back a lot of people from the dead. He frowned. He was pretty sure that wasn't right. Especially because they didn't look happy to be brought back.

"WHO ARE YOU TO INTERFERE WITH HELA! LET FENRIS GO!" she shouted at him. She had a really scary voice, but Tony had been yelled at by a lot of scary people, and mostly they were really nice once he got to know them. 

"I'm Tony, and Fenris was being bad. He needs to sit in the naughty corner a little while longer," he said. He looked at her closely. "Are you Loki's sister? You look like him." He smiled. "That would be so nice. Loki likes to do magic and Thor says that's girly and it makes Loki feel bad, but you're a girl, so it's ok for you. Except that you really shouldn't be bringing people halfway back to life. It's not nice. Their souls are still in Valhalla so they're stretched like rubber bands."

"What?" Hela said. She looked confused.

Tony flew closer to her. "Oh," he said, as he peered into her soul. "I'm sorry. Your daddy was mean to you, but it really won't make you feel better to hurt other people."

Hela lifted her head and snarled, angry again. "Odin is dead! He was too cowardly to face me while he lived, but now Asgard is mine, mine to command, mine to rule!"

Tony looked around. "You should take better care of your toys. If I owned Asgard, I wouldn't break it."

Hela opened her mouth as if to protest, and then she closed it and looked around at the destruction. "They wouldn't let me rule," she said in a quieter voice. "Odin taught me to take what I wanted. War is all I know."

Tony flew closer and patted her on the arm. "They'd like you better if you protected them, I bet. Thanos is killing planets. He could be coming here soon."

Hela jerked upright, taller than ever. "The Planet-Killer yet lives?"

Tony nodded. "I came here to ask Heimdall where to find him, so I can talk to him."

"Talk," Hela said. "You. You want to talk to Thanos?"

"Uh huh," Tony said. "He wants to be a good father? I think? He just doesn't know how."

Hela threw her head back and laughed. "Like Odin. Kill in his name and then be tossed aside when he tires of war."

Tony said, "Thor wanted war, but he changed his mind. So did Loki. So maybe Thanos will too. Maybe war is all he knows, too?"

Hela blinked slowly. Her dog was still blocking the Rainbow Bridge, and her zombies were still standing around, and the rest of the Asgardians were, well... shivering in place. "HEIMDALL," she shouted. "Come here, and I will allow deserters to leave. All else will remain to defend my Asgard against the Planet-Killer." Hela slammed her sword into the Rainbow Bridge so hard it stuck.

"I come," Heimdall said, pushing his way past a group that had been loading onto a ship.

When the crowd parted to let Heimdall pass, Tony saw Thor further back, being held by Loki. They both looked very beat up. Hulk was with them, too. Tony waved. "Hi, Hulkie!" Tony liked Hulk. Bruce had a little accident a few years ago, trying to make gamma medicine, but it was all right. Hulkie was a sweetheart, and very good at getting cats out of trees.

"Can you see Thanos?" Tony asked Heimdall. "Can you tell me where he is?"

Heimdall's eyes glowed, which Tony always thought was very cool. After a few moments, Heimdall said, "He is on the planet Vormir."

Hela frowned. "Why Vormir? There's no one there to kill."

Heimdall's eyes tightened. "There is one. A red-faced creature of no species known to me. Thanos is speaking with it." Heimdall paused. His eyes widened. "Thanos' daughter, Gamora, was there, too."

"Was?" Hela asked.

"Thanos pushed her off a cliff. He's crying."

Hela huffed. "There's a good father for you."

Heimdall said blandly,"Perhaps he was just tidying up. She was the last Zehoberi. After he killed half the population, the rest were unable to survive in the ashes of their broken civilization."

Tony looked from Heimdall to Hela and back. "Is Gamora all right?"

Heimdall was silent for a moment. "She is no longer in pain."

"Oh, that's..." Tony thought a moment. "Oh. You mean she's dead." Tony couldn't understand it. "Why? Why would he kill his daughter and then cry about it? Was it an accident?"

"I do not know," Heimdall said. "I could only see, not hear."

"I could ask Gamora." Tony climbed back onto Fluffy. "Let's go to Zehoberi Heaven, Fluffy. Goodbye," he told Heimdall and Hela. "I hope you can get Asgard fixed up. It was very shiny."

Fluffy had become very good at finding Heavens, so it didn't take long before they arrived at Zehoberi Heaven. The entrance gate didn't have anyone near it. No one with a sword guarding it, or a basket of flowers to greet him. There was a big scroll fastened to the wall next to the gate with names, at least Tony thought they were names, written on it in beautiful scrolling shapes. It was mostly rolled up, only showing the last few inches. The last name was in bright green, shiny as if the ink was still wet, but all the others were grayed out dull.

Tony figured that meant Gamora had just arrived. He leaned forward, looking through the bars of the gate. "Hello? Hello? Is Gamora there?" Tony thought about just walking in, but usually he slipped in with other people, and no one noticed him. This was different. He peered closer, but all he could see were trees and grass and flowers.

"Gamora, please?"

A tall green man with red and white streaked hair emerged from the trees. He blended in really well. "Why do you seek my daughter?"

"You're Thanos?" Tony asked, wondering if Thanos had felt so bad he jumped off the cliff, too. Maybe Tony should have waited and asked Heimdall to keep looking.

The man scowled. "Speak not that name, here. I am Gamora's father, her true father."

"Oh. Could I speak to Gamora, Please? I need to ask her about...umm... her not father? He's filling up all the Heavens with people and everyone is very sad."

The man looked at Tony for a long moment. "You may enter, but Gamora... she is...not well."

Tony told Fluffy to stay, and he followed the man into a green garden to a fountain with splashing water, where two green women sat on the wall around it. The older woman, at least Tony thought she was older because her hair had lots of white, said, "I heard. You may speak to Gamora, but I fear she will not answer."

The younger woman stared straight ahead. Tony fluttered up to her. "Gamora? Oh!" he said, shocked. "Her soul isn't here!" He felt sick. You were supposed to be healed in Heaven, healed and whole and happy. If you were bad, Tony knew you went to The Other Place, but even there, it was all of you. "Where is your soul?" He started to cry, he couldn't help it. It was so sad.

He wiped his tears off with one hand and touched her face with his fingers still damp. Maybe cherub tears were special. Maybe Gamora was special. Tony saw a flicker of light behind her eyes. "Gamora?"

"In the Soul Stone," she whispered. "He weeps selfish tears and keeps me as his child." And then the light faded.

Tony frowned. He still didn't know enough about Thanos. He sighed. Maybe Thanos didn't realize he was being bad. Kirr-Bee said he was the last of the Titans so he didn't have a mom to tell him... oh! There was an idea! He patted Gamora's face again. "I'm sorry. I hope you get your soul back. Goodbye."

Fluffy had sneaked a few puffs into the garden to pick up fallen leaves and flower petals for decoration. Tony smiled as he got back on the cloud and they left Zehoberi Heaven. "Very pretty. Are you tired? Do you need to rain?"

Fluffy puffed up to show he was fine.

"Next stop, Titan Heaven!" It was getting very complicated, but that was all right. Tony was smart. He could figure it out.

Titan Heaven was even more confusing than Xandar. The people were mostly really handsome and beautiful, tall and strong looking, but some of them were different. A lot different, with no two of them alike as far as he could tell. The gate was guarded more than any other Heaven Tony could remember, with hard-eyed people saluting as they changed shifts.

Fluffy stopped near the gate. "Um," Tony said, when the guards all looked at him. "Hello? I'm Tony."

One of the nearest warriors, a woman with shiny golden hair, said, "Greetings, little one, I am Sui-San. Are you lost?"

"No. I don't think so. This is Titan Heaven?"

"Indeed," she said, nodding. "All but one of the Titans are here. We but await the last."

"Thanos," Tony said.

"Thanos," all the guards said at once. They shook their weapons, and looked very angry.

"We have waited a long time for him," the woman said. Her eyes glittered. "He sent all of us here. We wait to welcome him home."

Tony didn't think he'd like that kind of welcome. "Um. He's sending a lot of people to Heavens, all over. It's... a problem?"

Sui-San laughed. "Yes. Thanos was always a problem. He was a gentle child, lonely because he was different, but not cruel. I don't know what happened. Was he teased? Bullied? Or did his own mind betray him?"

"You knew him as a little boy?" Tony fluttered closer.

"Oh, I did indeed. I was his mother. He..." she stopped and shook her head. "It is not a tale for an innocent to hear. I was his mother, I knew him, once. Now we wait for him. He has made us wait a long time."

"Are you going to send him to bed without supper?" Tony asked.

"Yes, that's just what we're going to do." She smiled at Tony. "Tell Thanos his mother misses him and wants him to hurry back home."

"Would you come with me and tell him yourself?" Tony would have done anything his momma told him, so Thanos should listen to his mom, shouldn't he?

"I would if I could, but we do not have wings," Sui-San explained.

"OH! But, you could ride on Fluffy! He's very strong! He wouldn't let you fall."

Fluffy twirled proudly, and puffed up part of himself into a comfortable looking seat. Sui-San smiled.

"Why are we going to Titan?" Tony asked.

"Thanos promised, a long time ago, that he would show Titan what he could do. How can he show Titan if he doesn't go there?" Sui-San said. "He will return some day."

"But he might not go back for a long, long, long time!" Tony said. He fidgeted and played with a piece of Fluffy's cloud. "I get bored."

"I know many stories. Would you like to hear them?"

"OH, yes!" Tony curled up near Sui-San. "Do you know any about knights in shining armor?"

Titan was very boring. Boring and broken and dull, but it was nice hearing Sui-San tell him stories. Tony didn't know how long they had been there when things started happening, all at once, the way they never do in Heaven. A ship crashed and people got out.

Tony and Sui-San stayed invisible.

"Poor ship," Tony said. "Is one of them Thanos?" He thought a few of them looked like Earth people, but then Sui-San looked like an Earth person, except for being very tall.

"No. Be patient, little one. If they are not Thanos's people, then Thanos is following them. He will be here soon."

"Good." Tony told Fluffy to hide, because Titan didn't have nice clouds like him, and he stood out.

The people shouted and waved and were upset at each other. Then another ship landed, this one without breaking. And a really big purple man stepped out of it. He was bigger than any of the Titans Tony had seen. Very, very big. "Thanos?" Tony whispered.

"Thanos," Sui-San said, said so everyone could hear her. "My son, my son, what have you become?" She turned visible to the live people and grew, big, bigger, and even more big.

Tony was impressed. He wondered if she was going to spank Thanos.

"Mother," Thanos said, stepping back a pace. Then he lifted his chin. "So, the magician has illusions. Very clever. But I have four Infinity Stones." He held up his hand and turned it to show off the four glowing gems set in his golden gauntlet. "I have Power, Space, Reality, and Soul. What can you do against that with your single gem?"

Tony went visible, too. "You let Gamora out of the Soul Stone! That's not nice!"

"Gamora!" most of the people who came from the broken ship shouted, and then they ran at Thanos. Thanos turned to face them, and the gems on his hand lit up. The people were surrounded by bubbles, or they were pulled apart like Legos, or stretched like Slinkies.

That was so wrong. Tony went to them and tried to help, but he couldn't.

The only one who didn't run waved his hands and formed a glittering gold circle that settled around Thanos's head and started to tighten. Thanos looked up and grabbed the edge of the circle with his hands, pulling it apart. He grinned at the man. "You can't win, Strange."

"I know," the man said. "I saw all the possibilities. I can't win. But I can lose."

"What?" Thanos asked, confused.

"I can lose, again and again and again," he said. He looked very tired, and very stubborn. "I can lose forever, if it will keep the universe safe." He formed a glittering band around his arm. 

"Bah," Thanos said. "I have four stones to your one."

"And I have thousands of years of knowledge how to use mine," Strange replied. "And I'm not afraid to die. Death and I, we are old friends. But you... you fear it."

"Was that it?" Sui-San asked Thanos. "Was that why..." she spread her hands, gesturing to the ruins around her. "You experimented to make yourself immortal? You destroyed our world, to save yourself?"

Thanos shook his head. "You don't understand, Mother. Titan was dying anyway. If they had listened to me... half the population could have been saved. It would have been fair, equitable."

One of the Lego'ed people said, "I saw that Star Trek episode. 'Conscience of the King'. The governor kills half the people and then the food arrives. He murdered them for NOTHING! The same as you! You killed my Gamora for NOTHING!"

Thanos turned to the man, growling. "YOU know NOTHING! I SAVED THEM! I will SAVE the universe! I loved Gamora! Her sacrifice will be honored!"

Tony was mad, now. He didn't get mad very often, but this was just so unfair. "How does killing people save anything? You're making everyone sad in Heaven! AND Gamora needs her soul BACK!"

Thanos glanced at Tony. "You are a child. You don't understand. I will destroy half of all life in the universe, thus restoring the balance."

Tony blinked at Thanos, amazed by the incredible stupidity. "You can't."

"With all six Infinity Stones, I can," Thanos said smugly.

Tony looked at Sui-San. "Did you drop him on his head when he was a baby?"

"Not often enough," Sui-San said grimly.

"Didn't you ever hear of the Law of Conservation of Mass?" Tony said. Thanos turned back to Strange, and then looked up and threw a piece of broken moon at him. "You're NOT LISTENING!" Tony said, frustrated. "YOU CAN'T. Lavoisier said so! YOU can change matter, but not destroy it!"

"I will turn them all to ash, then," Thanos said, grunting in annoyance when Strange emerged from being squashed, looking the same as before.

"It's SO STUPID! Why not turn garbage into food?" Tony flapped up high and tried to get in Thanos' face.

"BECAUSE THIS IS WHAT I ALWAYS DO!" Thanos shouted. "I reduce populations and the rest thrive!"

"No, YOU DON'T," Tony said. "GAMORA was the LAST of her people!"

Thanos whirled to face Tony. "That is a LIE. It's a paradise now!"

"THEY'RE ALL IN HEAVEN! But GAMORA doesn't have her SOUL!" Tony stamped his foot. "GIVE ME GAMORA'S SOUL! FLUFFY! Do the trick Thor taught you!"

Fluffy raced up, night black and whirling, faster and faster. Green lightning shot out, and everything went totally dark.

Thanos yelled.

And Sui-San said, "I gave you life. And I can take it away."

Thanos's scream cut off abruptly.

Fluffy dispersed and lightened, raining softly over the dust of Titan. The light brightened. Tony blinked. Thanos was laying on the ground. Not moving.

Thanos was also standing above his body, wincing, because his mother had him by the ear. "I think we can find our way back by ourselves, now, Tony." She yanked, Thanos squealed, and they rose up into the air, going invisible.

Tony waved, glad that all the fuss was over. Well. Mostly. He went over to Thanos's body and poked at the gauntlet. "Would you please put everyone back the way they're supposed to be? And give Gamora her soul?"

The gems glowed. Everyone went back to normal. Tony saw Gamora's soul, pale green and smiling, as it rose, too and took off in a different direction than Thanos and his mom.

Strange dusted himself off and went to Tony. He knelt in front of him, and stared into Tony's eyes. "Who are you?"

"I'm Tony Stark. But don't tell anyone. Michael doesn't like it when I talk to people."

"Tony Stark," Strange said. He smiled at Tony. "Your secret is safe with me."

"Bye!" Tony climbed back on top of Fluffy and waved to all the people. "Let's go home, Fluffy." He yawned. "I need a nap."