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The familiar click-clack of train tracks filled the air, repetitive and soothing. Almost like a heart, weak but still beating. That was the sound Clementine woke up to. When she tried to open her eyes, she was almost blinded by sunlight. Piercing rays. She shut them tight, waiting for the strange colorful patterns temporarily burned into her retinas to fade away. For now, she had to rely on her other senses.
Beneath her was surprisingly warm. Hard too but not uncomfortable. Maybe wood. She felt a gentle breeze, clean and crisp. It smelt faintly of flowers. What flower? She couldn’t quite decide. Slowly, she opened her eyes again, blinking several times before her vision focused.
She was on the train again.
As she sat up, she noticed Lee sat with his legs dangling out the carriage, where she usually found herself. She looked down, confirming she was her sixteen-year-old self. After last time, she wasn’t surprised - the first time Lee had seen her all grown up in her… whatever these times were. Small fragments of hazy memory, cut up and extrapolated to support her when she needed it.
Cautiously, she sat down beside him. He continued staring out over the passing scenery, trees and buildings all a blur.
“Lee?”
Finally, he turned to her, a proud smile forming. “You did it, sweet pea. You saved them. All of them.”
It took her a moment to remember what happened before she passed out. Even then, it was so… distorted. Walkers, that was the only clear part.
“I… did?”
“Look for yourself.”
The train faded away, replaced by a room. Not just any room. Her room. As her eyes scanned the space, she spotted all the trinkets she’d collected on her journey, decorating the otherwise morbidly bare space. AJ’s drawings took pride of place on the wall by the desk. It reminded her of the pictures she did of Kenny’s family and Lee when all this first started. A way to process the trauma and cling onto her childhood in a world that denied her so much. Too much.
Both Lee and her were now sat on the bottom of a bunk bed. Directly opposite stood a small group, people she recognized. The remaining Ericson kids.
“They’re okay…” she stifled back a sob, voice wavering. “They survived.”
He put a hand on her shoulder, reassuring. “I told you that you could do it, didn’t I?”
“Yeah. Right as always.” She looked at the man who was like a father to her. “But… did I survive?”
Lee’s smile faded, expression somber. “Even I don’t know that.”
Her eyes fell on the bed once more. Violet sat in a chair as close to it as she could get. Her hand was clenched tightly around another, one she recognized. Her own.
“Am I dead?” The question sent shock waves through her body, adrenaline pumping.
Slowly, Lee shook his head. “No.”
A wave of relief washed over her. “So, I’m alive?”
He paused, unsure how to reply. “Barely.”
Clementine looked at the group again, people she cared about so damn much. “I can’t die. Not now. Not when…”
“Clem. Breathe.”
Feeling the panic rise, she took a deep breath. In and out. Then another. Another… until she felt calmer. Calm enough to think clearly. The shakiness lingered, nowhere near as bad as it had been a few moments ago.
Sighing deeply, Lee watched the Ericson kids at work. “When I got bit, I was scared. So scared. More scared than I ever thought possible. And you know why? Because I knew I was leaving someone important behind. Someone who was too young to face it all alone. You.”
“Having people who need you never stopped you from dying.” She couldn’t stop a hint of bitterness seeping through.
It wasn’t Lee’s fault that he got bit. If anything, it was her fault. She was naive enough to trust a stranger, even after everything she had seen in this new world. Because of that, he put himself in so much danger. Then again, Lee had been a stranger once too. If she never trusted him, maybe they’d both be dead now. Or… maybe he’d still be alive...
Leaning back on his hands, Lee shrugged. “Debatable. I live through you, just like now.”
“That’s not good enough, Lee.” Her voice was harsh, cold, but only to hide the fear. “AJ needs me. Violet needs me. They all do… We’ve lost too much. If I die, they break...”
“I know, sweet pea. And I want to tell you it’ll be all okay.”
“But you can’t.”
Lee considered it for a moment, head tilting. “Well, I could but it might be a lie. I think we’ve all told enough of those since this all started.” His smile returned. “Bugs and salt lick.”
Clementine couldn’t help but laugh at her childhood misadventures, tired and short but still a laugh. Then, sadness took over as memories of Duck and the rest of her old group came to mind.
“I miss everyone…”
“We miss you too, Clem.”
Confused, she turned around and came face to face with Duck and all the other people she’d lost along the way. They stood nearby, at peace. Watching over her. Those she’d lost right at the beginning up till now. So many faces, she’d learned something from all of them during her long and nightmarish journey.
Katja offered up a sad, apologetic smile. “I’m sorry for everything we put you through, sweetie.”
“Even though you put bugs on my pillow, we’re still friends, okay?” Taking a step forward, Duck held out his hand for a high five.
“Okay.” Clementine slapped his hand, sealing the deal.
Kenny opened up his arms, pulling her into an almost bone-crushing hug. “You’ll always be family, Clementine.”
She clung on tight, never wanting to let go. “I’m sorry, Kenny.”
He squeezed her gently, surprisingly warm. “Nothing to be sorry for, little lady.”
When she pulled away from Kenny, Rebecca stepped forward. Clementine half expected her to shout, but she didn’t. Instead, she smiled. “Thank you for protecting AJ. He wouldn’t have made it without you.”
Clementine swallowed back tears, struggling to keep her voice steady. “He’s a good kid. I couldn’t imagine my life without him.”
“He’s so big now.” Alvin offered a broad, genuinely grateful grin. “We’re so proud of him.”
“And you,” Luke added. “I mean, you were a kid yourself when you started looking after him on your own.”
Pete crossed his arms. “Shit, Nick couldn’t even do it now.”
“Gee, thanks… but he’s right, you know. As much as I hate admitting it.”
Sarita smiled, nodding in agreement. “Looking after yourself is hard enough.”
“Let alone the people you love,” Walter cut in, one arm holding his boyfriend Matthew close - the guy Nick shot what felt like a lifetime ago.
A loud scoff permeated the air, Jane stepping forward. “That’s because she actually pays attention. Glad to see you’re still using that little technique I taught you.”
“She’s a real survivor,” Carlos agreed, watching his daughter step forward.
Sarah took her hands, expression hopeful. “We’re still friends, right Clementine?”
“I… yeah. Of course.”
A vaguely familiar girl appeared, Javier’s niece Mari, accompanied by Kate. “I wish we could’ve been friends. We never got the chance, huh.”
“From what Javi told me, we would’ve.”
“She would’ve latched right onto you,” Kate confirmed with a slight smile.
An unamused hmph drew Clementine’s attention to a bearded blond man, Tripp. “Never seemed like the friend type. Then again, world’s full of surprises.”
“Clementine’s definitely full of surprises.” Mitch looked at her, eyes filled with regret. “Shame I only got to see a few.”
Brody shook her head. “Hey, I got to see even less. Count yourself lucky.”
“Luck ain’t really been on any of our sides,” a homeless scruffy man Clementine owed so much to said. Without Chuck, she might never have learned how to shoot. “Hmm, whatever happened to keeping that hair short, missy?”
Omid tilted his head, considering something. “How about going bald?”
“Bald? Seriously?” Ben asked, trying to imagine it.
Clementine pulled her hat down defensively. “I like my hair, thanks.”
“Wouldn’t want to ruin the mane,” Doug replied with a broad grin.
Carley rolled her eyes, shoving him playfully. “Let her have one thing she cares about that isn’t surviving.”
Out of the corner of her eye, Clementine saw two people she hadn’t seen in so long, longer than anyone. The last time she’d seen them alive was before all this happened.
Her mother put a hand to her mouth, letting tears roll down her cheeks. “Oh, baby. Look at you, all grown up.”
“I’m sorry we left.” Her dad looked so sad, sadder than she’d ever seen him. “We should’ve been there, with you.”
Their faces were a little blurry, her memory hazy at best when it came to them. That made her shoulders slump. How long before she started forgetting what everyone she’d lost looked like?
“You’re so brave and strong,” her mom continued. “You’ve been through so much nobody should have to go through, least of all a little girl.”
Her father put an arm around her mother, expression gentle and filled with unconditional love. “We love you, Clementine. No matter where we are or where you are.”
“Looks like you got a lot of people who love you.” Lee’s eyes focused again on the small group of alive people waiting for her to wake up. “But, you know, we’re not going anywhere. We’ll always be with you.”
Clementine looked at them all in turn. So many people. Too many…
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry you all had to die. Some of you died because of me, others I could’ve saved if I just knew how…”
Lee shook his head, pulling her into a hug. “Clem. You did save us. One way or another. And now, you need to save yourself.”
Letting the tears fall, she hugged him back with all her might. God, she missed him. All of them. There was no way to bring them back, not really. The only thing she could do was live for them, to make their sacrifices meaningful and their memories live on in a world that would easily forget them otherwise.
“I… will.”
“I know you will.” Lee’s whisper echoed around her as everything faded to black. “We love you, Clem. Keep on living.”
“Still… not… bitten….” Clementine muttered under her breath as she returned to the land of the living.
Sound was muffled, fading in and out of focus, but she recognized the voice she heard first almost immediately. Violet.
“Holy shit! Ruby, she talked!”
“Alright, I’m coming. Everybody move!”
Dazed, Clementine tried to open her eyes. Everything felt so damn heavy, her body a dead weight. Like she’d been hit by a truck.
Another concerned voice spoke, Louis. “Is she okay?”
“Well, she’s breathing.” She felt fingers on her neck. “Heart’s still beating. Maybe she’ll wake up soon.”
A loud sigh of relief sounded from close by. “Fuck, she better.”
Somehow, Clem managed to force her eyes open. She needed them to know she was okay. They had worried enough. Her head flopped to the side, to where Violet was still sat.
“She moved. Clem? Can you hear me?”
“Shouldn’t… be so... close. Might’ve… bitten you.”
She heard sobbing, felt tears splash against her skin. Focusing hard, she tried to lift her hand. With a lot of effort, she clumsily put her hand on Violet’s cheek. Before it had the chance to slide off limply, it was firmly clamped in place.
“That… that’s really the first thing you’re gonna say to me?” Violet said between tears, nuzzling into her hand.
“Yup.”
“Wouldn’t be our Clem otherwise, would it?” Louis’ rhetorical question lingered, his voice breaking at the end.
Mustering up all the strength she could, her throat feeling scratchy as hell, Clementine rasped, “What... happened?”
“Hoard almost got to you.” Louis went quiet for a moment, sighing heavily. “Shit. Why don’t our plans ever go… to plan?”
“You’re lucky AJ was there. He fought so hard to keep you alive until Violet could get through to you.” Ruby sounded impressed and proud of him. “Heck, you should’ve seen her carve through those walkers like wet paper.”
“AJ. Where-?” She didn’t get the chance to finish her sentence, lost to a cough.
No hesitation, Violet poured out some water for her. Carefully, she sat Clementine upright and helped her drink. It was a little warm but a million times better than nothing.
“Louis put him in Tenn’s room,” Ruby explained after her coughing fit was over. “First time he’s fell asleep all week. He never left your side, refused to even nap. He really loves you.”
Louis glanced at Violet, then at the floor. “He’s not the only one. We all do. We were so damn worried about you, Clem.”
“Okay, she needs to rest,” Ruby announced sternly, trying to shoo them all out before this got too heavy. “Y’all can talk to her more after that.”
“Vi…” Clementine reached out for her, weakly grabbing onto her clothes.
Violet looked at her hand, then at Ruby. “Someone needs to keep an eye on her. You’ve been working non-stop. I’ll stay. If anything happens, you’ll be the first to know.”
Ruby looked like she was going to protest, then decided against it. “Alright. But if anything happens, get me.”
Once they all left, Violet laid down on the bed beside Clementine, wrapping her arms around the injured girl tight. “Never do that to me again. You hear? I was so fucking scared...”
Clementine let her head rest against Violet’s shoulder, feeling safe and warm as she fell back to sleep. “I’m sorry, Vi.”
It had been a few days since Clementine first woke up. She still felt awful, but at least she was alive. More than she could really hope for after everything that happened. After she went back to sleep, AJ had snuck his way onto the bed with her and Violet, snuggled into her back.
She remembered the face he made when he realized she was still alive, the way he said her name and burst into tears. It broke her heart.
“Clem…”
She had never seen him like that before. All she could think at that moment was how relieved she was that he hadn’t needed to kill her. She knew better than anyone what that could do to someone…
Maybe they needed to have another talk about that. Not yet, though.
Now it was almost guaranteed she would recover, everyone could relax. Clementine felt so bad for making them all worry about her. At least nobody had died saving her this time… She had been given strict instructions not to move without someone with her. Violet usually accompanied her, sometimes Louis or Ruby. The other kids were too small to help her if she fell. Nothing was broken fortunately but she was still a little unsteady on her feet.
She sat in the makeshift graveyard with Violet, admiring the flowers which had taken root. So many colors. Even now, in a world so full of death, life found a way. New graves had appeared since Clementine was last here, for all the people they had lost along the way. They had grouped some together, to be with the people they cared about most. People they lost, both before and after everything went to shit.
“Getting pretty crowded in here,” Violet said as she looked around. “Weird how peaceful it is, huh.”
Clementine glanced over at the grave nearest them. Lee’s grave. “Everyone is here. With us. Watching over us.”
Violet remained silent for some time, deep in thought. “I’ve seen so many people get… lost. To the walkers, to other people… to themselves… and then I almost lose you.”
“You’re not gonna lose me-”
“You can’t make promises like that, Clementine.” She sighed deeply at the harshness of her tone, fading to melancholy. “Neither can I. All you can promise me is that you’ll be as careful as possible with everything you do. I know there are some things we have to do and they’ll be dangerous, but… there are some risks we don’t need to take, you know.”
Clementine looked her dead in the eyes, sincere. “Violet. I promise that I will do everything within my power to make sure I survive. I won’t take stupid, unnecessary risks unless I have no other choice. I will stay alive, for you, for AJ and for everyone else depending on me.”
“You better. We all need you, Clem. I need you.” Her fingers wove their way between Clementine’s.
“I need you to, Vi. More than I ever thought I could need someone. You give me hope that, one day, we won’t have to fight. We’ll carve our own place in this world, somewhere we can grow old together and actually enjoy life. I’ve only just started doing that again and you made it possible.”
Violet’s defensive anger gave way in an instance. “I want to be mad at you, even if it wasn’t all your fault, but… I can’t when you say shit like that.”
“Hmm, I’ll keep that in mind.”
“Ha. I’m sure you will.” Violet’s expression turned complicated, cycling through so many conflicting emotions in only a few seconds. “Listen, I… I don’t know if this is too soon or… stuff like this, uh… I always thought it was supposed to go slow, but so are a lot of things.”
“Vi?”
Hesitating at first, she shook her head and dove head first into it. “I love you, Clem. I stopped myself from saying it before because… well, lots of stupid and not so stupid reasons. Funny, isn’t it? Walkers and shit should scare me more than anything but somehow accepting how I really feel about you was a million times scarier. Then, I realized Louis would just say it. He wouldn’t wait until it was too late, like it almost was for us. So, yeah-”
Before she could ramble herself into a hole, Clementine leaned over and kissed her. Sweet and tender, conveying more than words ever could.
“And I love you back.”
Blushing, Violet cracked a truly dazzling smile. “Good, or that would’ve been super awkward. Well, more than it already is. I’ll, uh, stop talking now.”
Clementine put her head on Violet’s shoulder, closing her eyes. Just enjoying this chance they had been given. Her girlfriend put an arm around her, head lightly bumping against hers. She imagined everyone here with them in her mind, happy. The way it should have been.
The apocalypse took so much from them, but it gave them all something equally as precious.
Moments like this, with people like this.