Chapter Text
The Official Spider-man Meme-eria
I’m Afraid of Spiders Today 2:33 AM
Welcome to hell. I’ll be your tour guide.
Flash Today 2:33 AM
Mark me down for scared and horny
I’m Afraid of Spiders Today 2:34 AM
Bruh u good?
i made this in ten seconds flat Today 2:35
is this an official, real spiderman discord server
what the actual fuck
I’m Afraid Of Spiders Today 2:35
I know texting while falling is illegal but the police aren’t on this chat
Flash Today 2:36
Hot
I’m Afraid Of Spiders Today 2:37
B R U H
mj Today 2:37
flash is a thirsty hoe
I’m Afraid Of Spiders Today 2:39
shit something just blew up Gotta B L A S T
mj Today 2:39
I don’t care if you’re a superhero. I will kill you myself.
Flash Today 2:39
Mj no!!!
mj Today 2:40
Mj yes
----
“Oh shit oh fuck,” Peter swore as he swung up to the fiery mess that was the front of the apparently incredibly explosive Signature Bank.
How the hell was he supposed to deal with the robbery? ...Well, he’d dealt with robberies before. Surely it couldn’t be that hard?
Ah fuck, it was that hard. The tips of Peter’s gloves were singed, and he had nearly swung head-first into a flaming fallen beam.
“...If I were falling into just.. a metric ton of fire what would I do?” He landed on his feet, and immediately felt a wave of pain as the flames got higher and higher. “This is pretty lit.” He ducked as his spidey sense went off, and a spray of bullets embedded themselves into the wall behind him, just a hair above him.
“Might I recommend activating Instant Kill Mode?”
“...Karen no,” Peter argued, taking on the tone of someone staring at their cat on a table from across the room and seeing them move closer to a glass full of water.
----
Peter Parkour has joined the group chat! Good Luck---
mj Today 3:00
i think you spelled your name wrong peter
Peter Parkour Today 3:00
no mj im just very good at falling off tall buildings
oh hey is spiderman here??
Flash Today 3:01
You missed him asshat
Peter Parkour Today 3:02
why do you hate me so much lmao
Flash Today 3:02
Your general existence makes me vomit.
Peter Parkour Today 3:03
Love you too man.