Chapter Text
It was fairly obvious to everyone that Anxiety had his issues. What his issues were, no one knew for sure, but they were there and they were relentless.
Every time he made his appearance in Thomas's living room, he could feel the atmosphere tensen. The only one who didn't make him feel this way was Morality, for which he was grateful. Not that he felt he deserved the moral side's kindness, but it was nice to hear him be so friendly towards the emo of the group.
No matter how much Anxiety tried to convince himself that what he did was for Thomas's own good, he couldn't stop that nagging voice in the back of his mind. The voice that said he was only making everything worse. He did his best to ignore it, but there were some days that he knew he couldn't.
When Logic first revealed his true name to be Logan, it got Anxiety overthinking, as per the norm. Would he have to reveal his real name? Would the others make fun of him if they heard it? He knew Princey would, that was for sure. Logan and Morality on the other hand, he could not predict. At the very least he expected Morality to think up some sort of pun based around it.
Soon enough, everyone had revealed their names, Princey's being Roman and Morality's being Patton. Anxiety knew, being the last unnamed side, that everyone would want to hear his name. What he did not know was just how particularly curious Roman would be.
"Why hello there, Dead, Goth, & Beyond!" Roman greeted when he spotted Anxiety in the main area of the "mindscape", a name Roman himself came up with.
Anxiety jumped slightly having been caught off guard, nearly spilling his coffee. "Nice nickname; you read that one off a cereal box?"
Roman clearly wanted to give a clever retort, always seeming to have one handy, but let it slide. "Well... if you want, I could always instead refer to you as... whatever your true name happens to be."
Anxiety shot him a death glare. "No thanks, but I appreciate the offer," he replied, his voice dripping with pure sarcasm.
Roman sighed heavily. "Come on, Anxiety! I'm sure your name is as... as beautiful as... uh... uh, me." He was trying so hard to be suave and charming, but seemed too flustered by something to do so.
"Why are you so interested in my name, anyway? You've been pestering me about it ever since Logan's name was revealed. What gives?"
He sighed again. "Look, I can't help it if I happen to be curious about the most secretive and... well, darkest out of all of us. I can't help but wonder what kind of name you would have, being the lord of... emos."
Anxiety scoffed. "Well, you're just gonna have to keep wondering, aren't you? As if I'd tell any of you my name and actually trust you with that information. No thanks, I'm not in the mood to be ridiculed."
The prince actually looked insulted. "I would never mock you for something like that, what do you take me for?"
"Trust me, you don't want me to answer that. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go to my room where I won't be interrogated." Without another word, he sunk out, going to his room to finally get some peace.
He took a deep breath, sitting on his bed and sipping his coffee. He knew the prince was lying; of course he would make fun of Anxiety's name. It was a stupid name to begin with and he knew Roman despised him, teasing him enough as it was.
When he finished his coffee, he set his mug on the table by the bed, taking another deep breath. He leaned forward, still sat on his bed, holding his head in his hands. All the thoughts swarming in his mind like pests were beginning to drive him insane. He just needed to breathe.
He got to his feet, entering his small bathroom and standing in front of the mirror. He stared his reflection down as though trying to intimidate it into fleeing. He barely even recognised the face that stared back anymore. Of course, who else but Anxiety to give himself an existential crisis?
He slipped his black jacket off his body and stretched his long, feathery wings out as far as they would go. He hated the sight of them but hiding them for so long was making them sore.
All the sides had wings of their own. They mainly showed them off when they weren't in Thomas's living room; it would be too complicated to explain in one of his videos and Anxiety wasn't even sure Thomas himself knew. It would probably be better this way; Anxiety wouldn't have to worry about Thomas's viewers begging to both hear his name and see his wings.
Why am I stuck with such stupid looking wings, anyway? Anxiety thought to himself as he glared at them scornfully. At least the others' wings look kinda cool. I'm so jealous of Logan's; they're way more my aesthetic.
Anxiety sighed softly as he flapped his wings a couple times, stretching them out to their fullest, before folding them and concealing them within his jacket. At least they were easy to hide.
~
For the next several hours, Anxiety busied himself by drawing in one of his many sketchbooks. Thomas may not have been an artist by any means but Anxiety found that drawing calmed him, and today he wanted his host to be able to relax without the stresses of, well, anxiety. He still kept an eye on things to make sure Thomas was safe, he just didn't feel like going as overboard as he tends to do.
He was in the middle of drawing his dragon character when Patton decided to drop by unannounced, his wings practically fluttering. They were a sandy grey colour, fading into a medium shade of brown at the tips of the feathers as thought the edges were burnt. They were long and beautiful, much more beautiful than Anxiety's own wings.
He slammed his notebook shut upon Patton's sudden appearance, feeling his heart skip a beat. What is Patton even doing here? Surely he had more important things to do than visit the most useless of all the sides.
"What do you want?" Anxiety blurted out more harshly than he had meant to.
"Hey, kiddo! Just noticed you weren't at dinner and wanted to make sure you got something to eat." Patton was holding a plate of spaghetti in his hands, glancing around Anxiety's room. "Boy, I've never actually been in here before, have I? Love the decorations you've got in here!" He suddenly flinched upon seeing the curtains, chuckling nervously. "Oh boy, look at all those s-spiders!"
Anxiety got off his bed and took the plate graciously yet cautiously. "Uh... thanks, Patton. I didn't even realise how late it got."
"No worries, kiddo! You just gotta make sure you eat all three meals a day! Especially breakfast; everyone knows it's the most important!"
Anxiety flashed the quickest grin. "I usually sleep in so I hardly ever eat breakfast."
"Well that's not a healthy habit at all! Tell you what; if you want me to, I can help you wake up in the morning so you can get yourself at least a bit of food to start your day! How bout it?"
In all honesty, Anxiety hated the idea of both waking up in the morning and having Patton in his room that early. "When you say 'the morning', how early are we talkin'?"
"Well, I usually get up at around 8 A.M. but if you want I can get you up a bit later than that! Maybe 8:30 or 9?"
All those options sounded terrible but for some reason he found it difficult to say no to the father figure. He sighed as he acquiesced. "Fine. I guess."
Patton beamed at him. "Super! You'd be surprised what a good old fashioned breakfast can do for your mood!" His eyes darted over to Anxiety's bed. "Whatcha workin' on, kiddo? Do you draw? Or are you a writer? I bet you could write some amazing stories!"
Anxiety found himself blushing suddenly. "It's... it's nothing. Just... stupid little... uh, journal entries. I-I use that as... a journal." He hated lying to Patton but he was too embarrassed to come clean. Besides, it's not like he would ever feel so inclined as to show Patton his drawings.
"Oh! Well, it's always good to work through your thoughts, and a journal can help you do that! Anyways, I'll letcha eat and get back to your journaling! See ya soon, kiddo!" With that, Patton sank out and left Anxiety in peace.
He sat back down on his bed and took a bite of his food. It was amazing and he wondered if Patton made it himself. As he ate, he couldn't help but sort through his thoughts. What was it about Patton that made it impossible for him to say "no" to whatever he was going on about? He just had a natural charm to him, Anxiety supposed.
He soon finished eating and decided to get back to his art. He couldn't stop drawing his little dragon character, it was all he could think about. Though, for the life of him, he still hadn't thought of a good name for them. He always put it off, hoping the right name would just come to him.
He added some finishing touches to his last sketch when he noticed it was two in the morning. He sighed as he slid his sketchbook into a box which contained dozens of others all full of their own drawings. He hid the box under his bed and finally decided to get some rest.