Chapter Text
Chapter 1: Veronica
Somehow, Veronica Sawyer managed to make it to graduation without going completely insane. The whole fiasco with JD and the Heathers had overturned the social order of the school, but Veronica couldn’t care less. She had loved JD, but what he did was insanely wrong.
It took years of therapy for her to be okay with that.
College was everything she’d dreamed it would be and more. Maybe the walls weren’t really covered in ivy, and the cafes had started to ban smoking, but it was a wonderful experience none the less. Veronica was thankful for the education and preparation for law school, as well as the classes that bonded her with Steven.
Steven was the one boy Veronica could stand to interact with for extended periods of time. He had a soft voice, kind eyes, and a variety of vivid polo shirts. It was about as far from JD as she could get, which is what first drew her to him.
Admittedly, her high school experience had been scarring. Steven understood, though Veronica never told him everything. She would uphold that promise to herself until she died.
Soon enough, she and Steven wound up in a relationship, and Veronica was applying to law schools in Chicago, where Steven had already secured a job.
The couple happily did what was expected of them. They married as soon as Veronica completed law school, and she was more than happy to take Steven’s last name. She would much rather be Veronica Sarkisian than Veronica Sawyer. Sawyer was the girl who meekly went along with all the horrible things her high school boyfriend did. Sarkisian was a lawyer, and she was damn good.
It wasn’t hard for Veronica to find a job, and once she was employed by the state, she and Steven went to work trying to have their first child.
On November 6, 2001, their daughter was born. Steven and Veronica both agreed that the name Janis was perfect for their little girl. Veronica gave her the middle name Heather, after her high school regrets. That name would remind her to make sure Janis made it through high school emotionally whole.
As it turns out, Janis’s social trouble would begin in middle school.
Veronica had never been the biggest fan of Janis’s friend Regina, but she wasn’t going to tell her daughter who she could hang out with. That would never work anyways – or, that was what she convinced Steven.
The bubbly little blonde girl was bossy and image-obsessed. She reminded Veronica of Heather Chandler far too much. But Janis always seemed to have fun with Regina, whether they were in Veronica’s care or Mrs. George’s care.
When the girls were eleven or so, and they’d have playdates at the George’s house, Janis would occasionally come home with makeup on. Now, Mrs. George was a reasonable mom, so it was the cheap glittery kind that came off with a swipe of the finger, but Veronica was unimpressed.
Regina really reminded her of a young Heather Chandler.
Steven was inflamed the first time Janis came home with glittery eyeshadow and lip gloss on. “What are they letting those two do over there?” he hissed. “Maybe we should only let them have playdates at our house from now on.” Thankfully, Janis was in her room, so she wasn’t hearing the argument between her parents.
“Look, hon, as much as I’d love that, we can’t control her every movement. That’s how you get secretive kids. I want her to be open with us.” Veronica was always trying to sympathize with everybody around her. This time, she really did agree with her husband, but her mom instincts told her to let it go. “Why don’t we just set some ground rules instead?”
Steven agreed, and so Janis had to wash the makeup off her face, if it was put on at Regina’s, before coming home. And she could only wear it out on special occasions, like dances or fancy dinners. She didn’t even seem very upset about it. Veronica was fairly pleased with her parenting after that.
Until the day when Janis came home begging to dye her hair platinum blonde. “Mom, come on, wouldn’t I be really pretty with blonde hair?”
Veronica couldn’t help but roll her eyes at her daughter. “Honey. You’re twelve. You need to learn to love your hair as it is.”
“Don’t you want me to feel good about myself?” Janis’s dark eyes were welling with tears, and Veronica softened.
“Of course, but you should learn how to feel good about yourself without changing anything. Tell you what, if you still really want to go blonde by your birthday, we can do that.” Veronica thought she was being insanely fair, though Steven might be enraged if the two girls actually followed through on the plan.
“That’s so far away,” Janis whined.
“I mean, I could just flat out say no.”
“Fine. I’ll wait.”
Veronica never liked when her daughter was upset with her, but she knew it was a part of being her mother. Sometimes it was in Janis’s best interests even if Janis didn’t know it. She sighed.
“Why don’t you pick out what we’re gonna cook for dinner tonight?” She knew her daughter loved to cook, so this was a peace offering. Janis still looked sullen though.
“Sure, I guess.”
While Regina and Janis would get into little arguments and quips quite often, Veronica noticed that Janis seemed to be the only one apologizing.
After one such fight, she pulled her daughter aside. “You know, you only have to apologize to Regina if you’ve done something wrong.”
“Yeah, I know, but I’m always doing things wrong. That’s why she gets mad at me.” Janis rolled her eyes as if that should have been obvious. Veronica sighed. This wasn’t a healthy friendship. She knew Regina was bad news, but she didn’t want to cause a scene right before Mrs. George came by for dinner.
“Okay, honey.” She whispered, concerned, before heading back to her study to finish up a case report.
After dinner, Veronica went up to Janis in her room. Her daughter rolled her eyes and scooted over to make room on the bed. “Am I being lectured?” Veronica frowned.
“No, sweetheart. I just wanted to talk.”
“About how I can’t be friends with Regina anymore.” It was a statement, not a question.
“Now, Janis. I’m doing my best to avoid flat out telling you what to do with your social life. Would I be more comfortable if you weren’t friends with Regina? Yeah, I would. She reminds me a lot of my high school bully. But I’m not going to tell you that you two can’t hang out anymore.” Veronica offered a hand to Janis, who took it. She was glad to see her daughter smile.
“Well, then what did you want to talk about?”
“I just noticed that Regina is constantly making things out to be your fault – whether it’s both of your faults, her fault, or nobody’s fault. That’s not healthy, sweetheart.” Janis began to pout. “I just want you to know that I see it, and I will always be here for you.”
Janis didn’t respond, and the smile fell from her face. Veronica left her to mull over the conversation.
When she peeked in her daughter’s room later, the lights were still on, but Janis was sleeping. Veronica padded in, pressed a light kiss to her forehead, and turned out the light. “I love you,” she whispered as she shut the door behind her.
Her husband noticed whatever expression was plastered on Veronica’s face when she walked back into their bedroom.
“What’s wrong, sweetheart?”
Veronica sighed. “Janis reminds me so much of me when I was younger, and I was a mess. I just…” her voice hitched, “I just want her to be okay.”
Steven smiled sadly at her. “You turned out pretty okay, Ronnie.”
“But I needed a lot of therapy to get to halfway okay. I’m willing to do what it takes for our daughter, but I don’t want her to go through half the shit I did.”
“I know,” Steven sighed, patting the bed next to him. “But we can make it through whatever life throws at us. Janis is strong. She’s your daughter, after all.”
That’s exactly the problem, Veronica thought. She’s my daughter, and I’ve been dragged through hell. I have the scars to prove it. I don’t want that for her. But she didn’t want to worry her husband more, so she laid down on the bed, let him turn out the lights, and snuggled into his warm embrace.
From then on Veronica kept a close eye on Janis. Well, as close as possible without hovering or being controlling. As far as Veronica saw, not much seemed to change.
Janis and Regina would argue about something trivial, Janis would apologize, and everything would be okay again for a while. Veronica watched the cycle over and over, watched the arguments get bigger, and held Janis as she cried.
Until one day when Veronica was summoned to the school to retrieve Janis. She had been in her office, working on a case, when the call came in.
“Hello, this is Veronica Sarkisian, district attorney. What do you need?” she expected it to be a work call, as she didn’t recognize anything about the phone number other than that it was local.
“Hello, Mrs. Sarkisian. There’s been an incident, and Janis needs you to come pick her up.”
Veronica’s eyes went wide. “What kind of incident?” she inquired nervously.
“We think it’s best if Janis describes it to you at her discretion. Just know we are planning on doling out adequate consequences to the other children involved.”
Consequences? What kind of consequences? And why would other kids be involved in Janis needing to go home early? Was this bullying? If it was bullying, wouldn’t administration tell her? Veronica was confused and concerned. “I’ll be there as fast as I can.”
With that, she hung up the phone and sped out of her office, only briefly stopping to notify her secretary that she’d be out for the remainder of the day.
She pulled up to the school and raced into the office, where her teary-eyed daughter was waiting. She quickly knelt in front of her and took her hands.
“Janis! Are you okay?” Veronica’s primary concern was her daughter’s wellbeing.
She sniffled. “Pretty obvious that I’m not, isn’t it?”
“Yeah, but it’s my job as a mom to ask stupid questions. Do you want ice cream?”
“Another stupid question, Mom. Of course I want ice cream. I’m upset.” Janis wiped her eyes in a fruitless attempt to dry them.
“Alright,” Veronica said softly. “We’ll stop and get some on the way home, and you can tell me what happened.”
Veronica was extremely concerned for her daughter, but didn’t want to push her to open up about whatever had happened at school.
Luckily, Janis had managed to stifle her tears by the time they pulled up to the grocery store, so Veronica took her in and told her to pick out three different pints. “It’s what I like best when I’m upset. Just gorging myself on ice cream and watching trashy TV shows.” She confided.
“Sounds great right about now,” Janis responded, grabbing her ice cream choices. A long pause. “This sucks, Mom.”
“What sucks, sweetie?”
Janis sighed. “Everything sucks. My life sucks. My friends suck. My school sucks.” Her eyes began welling up again, and Veronica took her hand.
“Let’s get out of here with our ice cream, and you can tell me why everything sucks.” Janis nodded, and they started for the checkout.
Janis stayed deep in thought during the remainder of the car ride, and Veronica couldn’t help but to glance over at her daughter every few seconds. What the fuck could have happened at school that administration wouldn’t tell her about?
Veronica let Janis settle on the couch with a pint of ice cream and their cat beside her before talking again.
“I’m sure whatever happened sucks, and you probably don’t want to recount it, especially not to your mother, but I’m worried, Janis.” Veronica looked sadly at her daughter. “I want to be able to help you in the best way possible, and I can’t do that if I don’t know what’s going on.”
Veronica didn’t expect much from her daughter, only that she does her best, be honest, and asks for help when she needed it. Evidently, she had done well, as Janis looked up at her dolefully and whispered, “I don’t know how you can help, but I’ll tell you.”
Veronica nodded and sat gingerly on the couch next to her. “I’m listening. And I’ll do my best to not interrupt or say anything until you’re done.”
Janis chuckled, then began. “You always knew that Regina wasn’t a good friend. She started arguments and made me think that I was always wrong. But… she was fun to hang out with. We had a lot in common.” She paused thoughtfully. “I liked her. A lot more than she liked me. She knew that… and… uh…” tears spilled out of her eyes and ran down her cheeks. “She knew that I was starting to like her more than I was supposed to. More than friends are supposed to.”
The gears were turning in Veronica’s head, and it vaguely registered to her that this was Janis coming out, but she was far more concerned with whatever had gone down with Regina at school.
“She… she came up to me before school to tell me that I couldn’t come to her birthday party in a few weeks… b-because it’s a-a pool party, a-and sh-she thought…” Janis was full-on sobbing now, barely able to continue her story.
Veronica put a comforting hand on her shoulder, a gentle encouragement to keep going.
“Sh-she said she thought I was a le-lesb-bian. And then she… she kept asking, b-because I w-wouldn’t answer, because I-I… I don’t know how I was supposed to… and so she just shouted, ‘What are you?’”
Janis paused, took a deep breath, and looked up at Veronica, who’s heart broke for her. “I didn’t know what to say… and I panicked.”
Veronica couldn’t help herself. “So… what did you say?”
Janis chuckled dryly. “I shouted that I was a space alien, and that I had four butts.”
“Oh, sweetheart. It’s okay. It was a panic response. It happens.” Veronica rubbed her daughter’s back reassuringly.
“It wasn’t okay to R-Regina… within an hour, s-somebody had written s-space d-dyke on my locker.” Janis buried her head in her hands, ashamed. “That’s all the office knows about. They wouldn’t get Regina in trouble for what she did earlier, anyways. She wasn’t the one who vandalized school property.”
“Janis… I’m so sorry.” Veronica paused, took a deep breath, and continued. “You don’t have to answer, if you don’t want to, okay, but do you think you are a lesbian?”
“I don’t know, Mom,” Janis sighed and sniffled, looking at her feet. “I think I might be. I’ve just been thinking about that possibility recently.”
“Okay, then. You know I’ll support you and help you through anything, no matter what, right?” Veronica gently lifted Janis’s chin so their eyes met. “No matter who you love or what your career may be, whatever happens, I’m your mom, and I’ll love you. Always.”
Veronica wasn’t thinking before she spoke, just trying to console her daughter, but she meant every single word. She wanted to give Janis the world, and she was going to support her only child through everything life threw at them.
Janis surprised Veronica by leaning in and wrapping her arms around her. Veronica hugged her daughter back fiercely, and before she knew it, she was crying too. For what seemed like an eternity, the two just sat in each other’s embrace, weeping.