Chapter Text
The camping site was less a mess than Vergil had expected. He had to give it to Dante, that was definitely enough room for two tents and a campfire, and the cliffside on their left would shield them from view. The clearing felt cozy, a nook in the forest designed just for them, with a gentle slope towards a tiny beach area, the lake spreading at their feet. Getting here had been quite the trek--even splitting the weight between three adults, food and equipment for two full nights had meant a solid burden, especially when Nero tired of walking and demanded to be carried. At least Dante, Lady, and him all had strength beyond most humans.
Which didn't mean he wasn't glad to put Nero down when they finally reached the site. The child sprinted off with a gleeful squeal, and Dante burst out laughing.
"Wait up, kiddo! Ya gotta help your da' unpack, remember?"
Nero stopped and turned around, his big smile replaced by a pout. "But I wanna explore!"
Vergil pinched the bridge of his nose. They had built a tiny pack with Nero's toys, including new ones for the beach, along with key hiking items like his own water bottle, and Vergil had made him promise he would be the one to unpack. It was mostly a way to occupy him long enough to get a few basics going, after which Vergil was convinced Dante would abandon them to show him around.
"Soon, Nero, and your zio can go with you."
Dante spun to face him, grinning with surprised joy, his eyebrows up in a hopeful "really? I get to play too?" silent question. Vergil rolled his eyes; he really was as much a child as Nero, sometimes. But this was Spardaghetti day, in theory, and still late afternoon. Occupying Nero was Dante's expected role.
"Great, so I'm stuck setting up tents with you," Lady complained, setting her large pack down. "I don't know why I signed up for this."
"Here I thought you expected to turn a profit out of the expedition," Vergil said, a quirk in his eyebrows.
That had been her excuse, as usual. Lady and Dante had discovered the camping site while clearing out a demon nest in a hidden shrine, another two hours of walk away. She pretended there might be artifacts or demon parts that could be resold in it, so she planned on returning there tomorrow to clean it up, which meant she might as well camp with them, right? So Vergil had rolled his eyes and warned her she couldn't piggyback on their resources for free, as if he wasn't glad to have someone around to help handle Dante and Nero for the next two days. They'd debated who was profiting off the other over the phone, until it was settled that Lady's manual labour amply compensated for the extra food, and no money would be exchanged. This time, Lady had added, as if that wasn't the conclusion on almost every single one of her visits the last two months, the two of them carefully balancing their relationship act into a string of mutually beneficial encounters.
Lady ignored him to drink deeply from her water bottle, so he instead unstrapped Nero's little pack and handed it to his son, crouching down.
"There is a little box you can fold inside. It's to store the toys. Remember, if you lose anything here, it'll be gone forever. Per sempre."
Nero wrapped his tiny hands around the straps of his bag and gave his father a solemn nod. "Per sempre!"
Then he was off, a bounce to his steps as he ran across the clearing, plopping down right where it started sloping towards the beach. Vergil reminded himself it was normal for his brand new clothes to get dirty, that he had bought the navy blue shorts and red shirt exactly for this, that Nero was bound to roll around in sand and dirt or sprint through forest undergrowth, but he still cringed at the stains already on the boy's clothes. Nero had only been in his life for half a year and Vergil was already rebudgeting everything to compensate make up for the ridiculous clothing expenses. Sooner or later, his funds would run out and he'd need to figure out a better income--a consideration that hadn't stopped him from buying all the camping gear needed to keep Nero comfortable and happy, of course.
Vergil set to work unpacking the tent, a large four-person acquisition he'd made sure to strap to Dante's pack, and he handed his twin the poles to assemble while he spread the fabric out and searched for instructions--a mistake that earned him the endless teasing of his two companions. While Dante and Lady were busy mocking him, however, he insured he had every piece necessary; he refused to be swindled by the outdoor equipment shop any more than he did by Lady. She did concede that point, and the three of them set to work, Vergil regularly glancing Nero's way to verify his little monster hadn't run away. The foldable box seemed to give him problems--it had been a stretch for a child his age--so Vergil caught his twin's attention and nodded towards Nero.
"I'll finish here. Go help him."
He didn't like the pout on Nero's face, the obvious growing frustration. Nero hated failing at anything, and Vergil thanked his luck the child learned most things quickly, because those he didn't… Teaching him to use the toilet was proving a challenge, and they'd made next to no progress over the last two months. Nero just wouldn't sit still long enough to get anywhere, and by now he hated the tiny toilet bowl, and any suggestion he should be trying to use it was liable to start a tantrum. Vergil had hoped two days of camping without it could serve as a reset button, because the last week had been Hell on both of them--enough that even the shadow of angry tears sent his heart racing. He'd much rather lose Dante's help with the tent earlier than deal with Nero's crying again.
Dante set off with a cheerful "you got it" and casually strode to Nero, helping him fold the box before digging into the pack. Vergil forced himself to focus on the task at hand, to relax and stop checking on his child, soon to be loose in a brand new environment with nothing but his irresponsible uncle to keep him safe. It'd be fine. Dante knew the area, knew Vergil was counting on him. Nothing dangerous would happen, and Nero would be having fun and discovering things, not getting hurt or running into challenges beyond his age. It was fine. He hammered in the tents, driving the plastic hooks into the ground with more force than necessary, then searched his own pack for the mattresses. He'd just spread them out to let them inflate when Dante's happy yell reached him.
"Last one in the water is a coward!"
Vergil's heart leaped into his throat and he scrambled out of the tent. "Dante, no!"
The water would be cold and they hadn't bought a bathing suit and Nero would be all wet and--it was too late. He stumbled out in time to watch his toddler sprint directly into the water, his shoes still on, and then fall face-first at the unexpected resistance of water. Dante had taken the time to kick off his boots, and was about to shed his coat when the splash happened. With a resounding "fuck!", he hurried in and swooped Nero up.
"Woah there, speedy, you're supposed to remove a few things first."
Nero's hair stuck to his forehead and he coughed, but despite his wet clothes and the gulp of water that must have made it into his lungs, he was grinning. Vergil's lungs unwound, allowing a first breath in, then a second, until his fear had given way to anger. He pounded the ground as he headed towards the shore, stopping at the top of the slope.
"What were you thinking, Dante?"
"He said he liked water!"
"He's three and he can't swim!" How was that not the first thing to cross his brother's mind? Did he think children magically did not sink to the bottom of the water?
"Yeah, yeah, relax! I'm holding him now. He's fine." Dante lifted Nero up and set him on his shoulders. "You're fine, aren't you, kiddo?"
Nero was looking around with wide eyes, and there was a hint of fear under that smile--enough for Vergil to decide they'd best cancel this whole around-the-water thing. Except Nero's expression changed to one of determination, and the child pushed a hand through his hair, inadvertently slicking it back.
"I am fine. I like water. I wanna go back."
He kicked his little feet and water flew out of his drenched sneakers, but Vergil barely noticed. He could only stare at the miniature version of himself perched on Dante's shoulders, the resemblance suddenly striking with the hair and the defiant expression. He had only ever noticed Nero's puffed cheeks, yet now he saw the pointed chin and nose they shared, the way they both frowned at the world when it wouldn't work how they wanted, and a warm pride filled his chest, completely deflating his anger. Nero was already drenched, anyway. He might as well draw the most fun out of it.
Vergil sighed. "All right. But you stay in your zio's arms, Nero. Water is dangerous."
"Is not," Nero protested.
Dante snorted and ruffled the hair, bringing it back down. "Your da's right. Water's only safe if we're around. Ya stick to me and we'll have plenty of fun though!"
Plenty of fun while his father worried he'd turn his back for five minutes to find his child had drowned. Vergil glared at Dante one last time, but his brother just ignored it, wading in deeper into the lake, his red coat floating behind. Once he had water to his chest, he plunged a fully-clothed Nero back into the lake, keeping the child's head above water level. Nero kept giggling, tiny arms splashing around, making it really hard to stay angry. With a sigh, Vergil turned back to their campsite, only to discover Lady had finished setting up her own tent and the rest of his.
"I'm not paying you for the help," he warned her. "Let's get a fire going. I sense we will have clothes to dry and a freezing toddler on our hands before long."
"On yours, you mean," she corrected, setting a hand on her hip. "But fires are a decent idea. I'll get wood; you set up a clothesline and a stone ring."
She didn't wait for his agreement--Lady never waited on their permission for anything, really. Vergil watched her disappear between the trees, stretching out almost lazily, wishing he could be half as relaxed as she seemed. From the moment Dante had first suggested camping, Vergil's mind had provided him with all the ways it could go wrong, all the accidents that could happen to Nero. He didn't used to be like this; when he'd raised the Temen-ni-gru, the very idea of failure had seemed ludicrous. The world had belonged to him, if he only dared to face it head on. Now… Now he had someone to protect, and every minute he feared he would lack the foresight and capability to do so properly. Part of him had wanted to refuse this camping trip, but he couldn't keep Nero cooped up forever, and they'd both needed the time off. Vergil closed his eyes and soaked in his son's happy laughter for a time, allowing that to reassure him in his decision, before setting to work to ensure he could take care of the child once Dante was done with his impromptu swim.
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When Nero's teeth started chattering so hard they covered his laughter, Dante figured it was a good time to get out of the super freezing lake. Kid's lips were kinda turning blue, anyway, and he doubted that was good. His arms were getting sore from plunging Nero up and down, or pulling his tiny body along so it'd make waves, or just holding him steady while he kicked at the water and sent it splashing. Kid might not know how to swim yet, but they ought to get him floaters and fling him into swimming pools more, 'cause he sure was playing relentlessly. At least Dante was doing the "tire him out" part of the job well enough. Vergil was gonna give him an earful about the wet shoes though (about the wet everything, really).
He pulled Nero back to the shore, keeping his body underwater (it'd be warmer, there was a shitty breeze freezing his chest) for as long as he could, and grinned when he found a warm towel (only one) and a change of clothes for Nero waiting for them. Dante heaved the kid out the water, snapped the towel up and wrapped it around him, set Nero on his shoulders and then picked up the clothes, striding to a more grassy area. Vergil and Lady were busying themselves around the fire and tents (it looked like dinner, and he was starving!), so it probably fell to him to dress up the kid again. Which, fair--he'd gotten him all wet, after all. He set his little towel bundle down and sat next to Nero, his own red coat and pants soaking wet.
"All right, lil' bud, time to strip."
Nero's teeth clattered in answer, and the poor dude looked a little lost, so Dante helped him out, pulling out shoes and socks first, then the red t-shirt clinging to his torso, and finally his pants. When he noticed the new diapers under, all fancy and almost like tiny normal underwear, he grinned.
"Hey, you movin' up in the world, buddy! Those are new. You like 'em?"
Nero frowned. "N-no."
"Why not?" Instead of an answer, Nero gave a full body shiver, so Dante grabbed the towel, wrapped him in it again, and pulled him closer. "C'mere, lemme dry you off."
He started rubbing Nero, giving the poor freezing kid time to collect his thoughts. "I don't like the toilet. It's boring."
Dante snorted. "Sure is, kiddo. Ya get your da' to tell you a story or play."
"He says… focus." Nero offered a little pout of concentration, his brow knitting, and it was all Dante could do to keep himself from laughing. That sounded just like Vergil.
"Tell you what… We put on this dry spankin' new one, and you try an' keep it that way as long as you can. When you got all your pee at the ready, come and tell your zio. I'll make it fun."
Nero's widened, then after a moment of hesitation, he nodded. "All my pee?" he repeated.
"Everything you can keep, yeah!" Dante confirmed with a wide grin. It earned him a smile, so that was probably good? He really didn't like to see Nero all pouty and sad. It didn't suit him (and it made Vergil grim, and Dante had really started to enjoy all the soft smiles on his brother's face when he was around this kid).
Dante helped the kid slip into his new training diaper, then comfy jeans, a long-sleeved shirt, and a thoroughly adorable red hoodie with devil horns on top. He grinned as he flicked them, certain Nero had picked that one up. That kind of cute irony was totally lost on his brother. Nero immediately pulled his hood up and shoved his hands into… were those claw-like gloves attached to the sleeves for his tiny hands? That was too adorable!
"Hell yeah, kid! You look like danger."
Nero giggled and rawred at him--a sound Dante couldn't imagine Vergil making, even alone with Nero. He grinned and picked the tiny devil up, perching him once more on his shoulders (the only entirely dry part of him left, honestly). Vergil turned as he approached, away from the pot of boiling spaghetti on Lady's camping burner. He gave Nero an appraising once over, then set his spoon down to trade for the kid.
"Your pack of clothes is on the single mattress. I trust every part of Nero is dry?"
"Down to his tiny lil' toes," Dante confirmed. "Might still be a bit cold though, even under the devil-hot hoodie."
He could feel the kid shaking a bit still, even if Nero wasn't saying anything. The sun was creeping behind the cliff, so that wasn't exactly a big surprise. Vergil scowled and lifted Nero from him, distractedly rubbing his arms.
"Had fun, Nero?"
"I was a fish!" Nero declared with a grin. "I like water."
Dante grinned. He'd repeated the fish thing a couple of times, and clearly the kid had liked it. "See? No problem at all." Vergil glared at him, a warning that his mishaps from earlier wasn't forgotten yet (would it ever be, really?). Which, honestly, how was he supposed to know Nero would just run straight into the water without undressing? Kid was usually more intelligent than that. Still… better not push his luck. He was stuck with Vergil for the next two days.
"I'll change quick and dirty and take him off your arms again, dontcha worry. Smells good."
"It's only pasta, Dante," Vergil replied, squeezing Nero a little tighter, like he didn't want Dante to come back and keep him busy. "Even you could cook this."
"Don't bet on that!" Lady called from the fireplace. "If you're gonna leave dinner under his supervision, I'll take over. I'd rather not starve."
"Aw, c'mon! I ain't that bad," Dante protested.
"You made a microwave explode, Dante," she reminded him.
"Just the one time!" He had been too hangover to remember to remove the foil around his pizza (he usually shoved them direct in the fridge, when he bothered with a fridge at all, so Lady probably had stored this one). Now she never let him forget.
Vergil set a hand on his chest and declared in a solemn tone. "Please step away from the camping stove. We'll handle this."
Dante huffed while Lady burst out laughing. Not that he minded not having to cook, but these two teaming up to mock him? Now that wasn't fair at all.
"Fine, whatever!" he declared, stalking off fast enough, hoping his coat would briefly flare behind him and allow him to depart in style. That was without counting on the water still dragging it down; it flopped pitifully after Dante, drawing a snicker even from Vergil.
Maybe the impromptu swim had been a mistake after all.