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Summary
After Mishima had his conversation with Akira about his recent behavior and clearing things up, he felt like he was turning a new leaf, that he has gotten better, that he can continue on with the phansite and being their admin just as before. But for some reason, he still feels an emptiness, he feels the guilt and shame of letting himself get so hungry for fame, even though Akira himself said it was fine. But....
Why does he not feel relief? Why does he still think he hasn't changed? Why does he feel so stupid? Why does no one want him around? Why couldn't he stop crying? When did he start feeling disgusted with himself? When did the world started to feel like it wants him gone? And lastly....
When was the last time he felt genuinely happy..?