Work Text:
your favorite martian has changed the chat name to the bitchin’ hour
your favorite martian: we have reached the holy hour, boys
discount pikachu: set up the summoning circle gang its 3am!
flex tape: i can’t believe we all managed to stay up this late lol
discount pikachu: ? we usually hit 4 on fridays
your favorite martian: yeah this isnt that unusual for us?
flex tape: let me rephrase:
flex tape: i can’t believe bakugou managed to stay up this late lol
team mom: fuckk off
the BIG gay: i mean he’s not wrong babe
your favorite martian: wow eijirou i can’t believe ur dating a 70 year old man in a teen’s body
discount pikachu: hot
flex tape: die.
team mom: DIE
your favorite martian: that’s our bakugou, in bed by 8
the BIG gay: okay he‘s given up on texting and is now angrily reading over my shoulder
discount pikachu: god i wish that was me
flex tape: why are you so fuckin thirsty dude
your favorite martian: yeah ur being thot denks
discount pikachu: it’s the 3am energy!!!
the BIG gay: katsuki says: then why are you thirsty the rest of the time
flex tape: damn grampakugou go offfff
your favorite martian: fuckin WIG
discount pikachu: GRAMPAKUGOU
the BIG gay: AKDJHDHAKSJBDD
your favorite martian: brb changing his nickname
team mom has changed their nickname to grampakugou
the BIG gay: he angery lmao
discount pikachu: okay like mood or whatever but rt if you had a moment where you had to remember who the fuck katsuki is
flex tape: rt
your favorite martian: rt
discount pikachu: rt
the BIG gay: oops lol i forgot you guys don’t rlly call him that
discount pikachu: ;)
your favorite martian: ;)
flex tape: ;)
the BIG gay: STOP
flex tape: to be fair tho, as weird as katsuki is to read like can u imagine hooking up with a dude and calling out his family name
your favorite martian: okay true
flex tape: right like i feel like if yr on a dick-touching basis then u have to use given names
the BIG gay: guys pls
discount pikachu: aww is the bakubro embarrassed
the BIG gay: the me is embarrassed!!
your favorite martian: dude its chill 3am!!
your favorite martian: 3am keeps all secrets babey!!!!!!
the BIG gay: im jusjakdhdhsjd
the BIG gay: SHUT UP XENOTHOT
discount pikachu: HEY I CAME UP WITH XENOTHOT THATS MY INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY
your favorite martian: to have intellectual property u have to have intellect first
discount pikachu: oof
flex tape: fuckin brutal mina
your favorite martian: okay tru that was a cheap shot
your favorite martian: ily denki i dont think ur dumb!
discount pikachu: ty mina but i am kinda dumb
the BIG gay: nah man
the BIG gay: BIG disagree
flex tape: you have like...
flex tape: conditional dumbass energy?
the BIG gay: we all do in the bakusquad
your favorite martian: YES
flex tape: but ur not actually dumb
your favorite martian: EXACTLY
your favorite martian: like yeah sometimes you have stupid ideas
your favorite martian: and then do them and end up covered in hot cocoa powder
your favorite martian: but you wouldn’t be here if you were actually an idiot
the BIG gay: katsu agrees but he told me to make it sound begrudging
the BIG gay: so like imagine him saying “tch. you’re selling youself short, pikachu”
flex tape: i can hear it so clearly...
discount pikachu: jahahdgdksjdh...
discount pikachu: thanks guys :’)
discount pikachu: i feel loved in this chilis tonight
flex tape: want me to sneak over
discount pikachu: ... yye
flex tape: omw unlock your balcony door
the BIG gay: baku says don’t fall
your favorite martian: dude he cares about youuuuu
your favorite martian: no response, they’re probably making out
flex tape: you were right
discount pikachu: you were rigJINX BABE
flex tape: BABE
discount pikachu: JINX YOU OWE ME A kiss on the lips...
your favorite martian: lol that’s gay
the BIG gay: ikr
the BIG gay: hey actually
the BIG gay: since 3am keeps all secrets
the BIG gay: i have a question
the BIG gay: for you two
your favorite martian: the boyz?
the BIG gay: yea the boyz
flex tape: im instantly nervous
discount pikachu: shoot bro
the BIG gay: so like
the BIG gay: god i dont get how you guys can just talk about this stuff and not get embarrassed
flex tape: much more nervous
discount pikachu: i can’t feel embarrassment
flex tape: okay mood
your favorite martian: #yolo bro
the BIG gay: shut up!!!
flex tape: sorry pls continue
the BIG gay: so you know how we joke about sero and bondage
flex tape: nevermind pls stop
your favorite martian: JDHSJSBJAJAHEBDKDJ
discount pikachu: BRO WHAT
the BIG gay: IM JUST CURIOUS IS ALL
the BIG gay: YOU JOKE ABOUT IT ALL THE TIME SO I THOUGHT
the BIG gay: Y’KNOW
flex tape: fuckign
flex tape: i plead the fifth
your favorite martian: THAT’S NOT A NO BOYZ
discount pikachu: well yea we’re not gunna lie to you
flex tape: BABE
your favorite martian: AAAAAAHHHHHH
the BIG gay: BRUH
discount pikachu: YOU ASKED BRO
grampakugou: grabbed my phone just to say i hate this
the BIG gay: OKAY okay like..........
flex tape: please stop
the BIG gay: with your tape???
your favorite martian: ^ i need to know too
discount pikachu: why are you asking questions you already know the answers to
flex tape: babe PLEASE
your favorite martian: b r u h
your favorite martian: i wish my quirk had sexy uses!!!
discount pikachu: i mean u basically shoot cum out of your hands
the BIG gay: K A M I P L E A S E
your favorite martian: no he’s right
your favorite martian: but it’s acid cum which isn’t fun at all
your favorite martian: so >:(
flex tape: damn u right
flex tape: it would be a real mood killer to have yr skin dissolve mid-fuck
discount pikachu: i mean... hot....
flex tape: babe.
discount pikachu: hey since you asked us a sexy question can i ask you a sexy question
the BIG gay: that’s fair i guess
the BIG gay: bakubabe says he’ll veto it if he doesnt want me to answer tho
your favorite martian: bakubabe
flex tape: bakubabe
discount pikachu: bakubabe
the BIG gay: GUYS PLS
grampakugou: bakubabe
grampakugou has changed their name to bakubabe
the BIG gay: NOT YOU TOO
your favorite martian: oof the backstab
discount pikachu: a modern judas
flex tape: lmao who tf is judas
your favorite martian: hanta
your favorite martian: that’s the guy that killed jesus
bakubabe: literally no it isn’t
the BIG gay: didnt he stab caesar?
bakubabe: no
your favorite martian: no he stabbed jesus
bakubabe: NO
discount pikachu: guys no he definitely stabbed caesar
bakubabe: NO HE DIDNT
flex tape: this is a mess
discount pikachu: GOT SIDETRACKED anyways kiri...
the BIG gay: know how you feel now sero
the BIG gay: im terrified
discount pikachu: how u suck dick w those teeth bro?
the BIG gay: parkour
your favorite martian: akahshdhskajdbdhd
flex tape: i mean fair
discount pikachu: bro be real w me for a second!!
discount pikachu: how do you keep track of those chompers bro my dick is screaming
the BIG gay: idk i just do?
the BIG gay: ive had these teeth all my life im used to them bro
your favorite martian: bakubabe is suspiciously silent...
bakubabe: pikachu why is your dick screaming
bakubabe: tell it to mind its business
flex tape: woah he jelly
discount pikachu: bakubro my dick is screaming FOR you man
discount pikachu: like on your dick’s behalf
flex tape: secondhand dick scream
your favorite martian: and we have a new gc name!
your favorite martian has changed the chat name to secondhand dick scream
bakubabe: shut up about your stupid dick
bakubabe: and you shut up too tape bitch
bakubabe: no one could steal my man ESPECIALLY not some discount fuckin pokemon knockoff
the BIG gay: aw babe <3
your favorite martian: that was mildly sweet!!
flex tape: for bakugou that was extremely sweet
bakubabe: FUCK THIS
the BIG gay: he cast his phone into the abyss of our bedroom and angrily threw his face into his pillow
discount pikachu: goodnight sweet prince
your favorite martian: our bedroom
your favorite martian: not like... MY room or HIS room
your favorite martian: OUR BEDROOM
discount pikachu: that’s fuckin GAY
flex tape: guys maybe they’re just communists
flex tape: platonic heterosexual communist bros
your favorite martian: akdhfbsjsjshhs
your favorite martian: comrade... i vant you to... make bro love to me....
flex tape: quick someone make bro love his nickname
the BIG gay has changed their name to bro love
discount pikachu: yr welcome
bro love: alright guys im pretty beat so im gonna go to bed, goodnight!
discount pikachu: COWARD
your favorite martian: NOT MANLY BRO
flex tape: weak and disappointing.
discount pikachu: lol he and bakubro are such babies sometimes
flex tape: babe if you don't delete that message before tomorrow morning bakubaby is gonna tear you a new asshole
discount pikachu: sounds hot im down
your favorite martian: ugh i know what i just said but like... im starting to get sleeby myself
discount pikachu: dislike
your favorite martian: shut up denki!!!
your favorite martian: we cant all just deepthroat a D battery and keep chugging!
discount pikachu: why not pussy
flex tape: you fool. you udder weakling.
discount pikachu: bcnksiahdbd babe its utter
discount pikachu: an udder is a cow’s nipple
flex tape: i said what i said
your favorite martian: guys the sun is gonna rise soon and once its light out i wont be able to fall asleep :(
discount pikachu: oh shit ur rite
discount pikachu: but im not tireddddddd
flex tape: wanna fucc lmao
discount pikachu: my longest yea boi ever
your favorite martian: KAY GOODNIGHT
discount pikachu: night mina!!!
flex tape: gnight!