Work Text:
Nie Mingjue tightens his grip on Baxia. He knows he shouldn’t have brought it, can feel it getting agitated in his hand, but he needs something familiar to hold on to.
And he hadn’t found one of Nie Huaisang’s fans, so this had to do. He would just have to try harder to keep himself under control.
It’s not something he hasn’t dealt with before, after all.
Still, his hand shakes, Baxia quivering slightly in his grip, when Lan Xichen enters the room.
Nie Mingjue immediately relaxes a fraction, the presence of Lan Xichen enough to quell the evermoving monster under his skin, and he takes a deep breath.
He called Lan Xichen here for a reason, after all.
They have been friends for some time now, and Nie Mingjue has been in love with him for almost the same amount of time. Nie Mingjue has wanted to tell Lan Xichen about his true nature a lot of times already, but he never dared to, out of fear that Lan Xichen would be disgusted and turn away from him completely.
But now his Elders and Lan Qiren have proposed a sworn brotherhood and Nie Mingjue doesn’t have a good enough reason to tell them no.
But a sworn brotherhood is already so damn close to a marriage—which is something Nie Mingjue also wants with Lan Xichen eventually—and he promised himself he would tell Lan Xichen before it got serious.
Nie Mingjue’s mother had only realized what her husband was after the marriage and while she had adapted rather quickly and beautifully, Nie Mingjue knows damn well that not everyone is as accepting as his mother had been.
There is a good chance Lan Xichen will turn away from him after this, and the thought alone makes Nie Mingjue shake in fear.
He doesn’t want to lose Lan Xichen.
“Mingjue,” Lan Xichen greets him with a beautiful smile and some more tension leaks out of Nie Mingjue’s shoulders.
“Xichen,” he breathes out, and he will forever marvel at the fact how even just Lan Xichen’s presence can calm him down.
It’s not a Lan thing, because Lan Qiren gets his blood boiling like no one else does, Nie Mingjue knows that at least. Lan Xichen is just special.
“You wanted to tell me something?” Lan Xichen asks when Nie Mingjue stays quiet for too long. “You were quite cryptic in your message.”
Lan Xichen tries for a playful tone, but Nie Mingjue can tell that he’s worried and Nie Mingjue curses himself. He never wanted to worry Lan Xichen.
“Yes, actually,” he starts, and consciously loosens his grip on Baxia.
The sabre spirit and his true nature clash more often than not, and it only accelerates the descend into qi deviation. And he doesn’t need to have an incident now.
“Xichen, I want you to remember that it’s still me,” Nie Mingjue starts and he knows it must confuse Lan Xichen even more, but it’s important to him that Lan Xichen at least tries to have an open mind about this.
“Okay?” Lan Xichen says, now clearly unsure, but he keeps Liebing loose at his side and his other hand relaxed behind his back.
Nie Mingjue takes another deep breath.
“I know Lan Qiren already talked to you about being sworn brothers with me,” Nie Mingjue tells him, needs to explain why he does this now, and Lan Xichen nods.
“And I already accepted, did no one tell you?” Lan Xichen asks.
“That’s actually why I want to talk to you. There’s something I have to get out there before we take the bows.”
“Mingjue, you’re worrying me,” Lan Xichen says, and Nie Mingjue spots the tension in his shoulders, no matter how hard he tries to appear relaxed.
“I’m sorry about that, but I have to show you for you to understand. See, this form,” Nie Mingjue says and points at his body, “is not my real form.”
“What?” Lan Xichen breathes out and Nie Mingjue sees him go pale, but he can’t stop now, he has to get this out there.
“I’m not entirely human,” Nie Mingjue goes on, though the ‘not entirely’ is a great understatement.
He’s not human at all, no matter if his mother was one or not. No matter the skin he wraps himself in.
“You might think I’m a monster, and that is okay,” it wouldn’t be, how could it ever be?, “but please, don’t hurt Huaisang, he just came into his form and he’s not dangerous at all, no matter what he looks like.”
Nie Mingjue hasn’t looked at Lan Xichen since he started his botched attempt of an explanation, but his grip on Baxia tightens in anticipation as he drags his eyes back to Lan Xichen.
Lan Xichen is as white as a sheet, his arms slung around his middle and he’s shaking, his silhouette going slightly blurry around the edges.
“Xichen?” Nie Mingjue asks, his stomach dropping out.
He feared that the reaction to his words might be a bad one, but this is even worse than he expected. Lan Xichen seems ready to faint in fear, and Nie Mingjue is sure he’s spotting a trace of disgust on his face as well.
He is surprised by the visceral reaction of Lan Xichen, though he bitterly thinks he shouldn’t be. Of course Lan Xichen would be horrified, even before he sees his hideous form.
Nie Mingjue never dared to hope for a good end to his reveal, and yet this still cuts him deep.
“Xichen,” he tries again, taking a careful step forward and Lan Xichen throws himself back, arms still tight around his middle.
“How could you say that? I would never hurt Huaisang, I’m not—I’m a monster but I’m not cruel, I would never hurt you or your brother,” Lan Xichen whispers, voice trembling in fear and Nie Mingjue frowns.
“Xichen, what are you talking about?” he asks, because he was the one to confess to being a monster.
He doesn’t understand where Lan Xichen thought he was accusing him of being one.
“I’m so sorry,” Lan Xichen almost sobs out and then his form explodes.
Nie Mingjue sees the change happening, sees Lan Xichen’s human form give way to a black swirling mass, shimmering in the light and covered in hundreds of eyes, so white against his black form that they almost look like stars.
Nie Mingjue stares at him, mouth gaping open and eyes wide, and he distantly thinks it’s kind of fitting that Lan Xichen looks like a star-covered night-sky; he has been Nie Mingjue’s guiding star ever since they first struck up a friendship, after all.
Nie Mingjue has always been too impulsive and too brash, and Lan Xichen’s gentle and caring nature has become something of a guiding star for him, reminding him to reign in his temper every now and then.
To see him like this now, clearly something other as well, almost makes Nie Mingjue sob in relief, even as he’s still trying to come to terms with the fact that the Nie Sect is not the only one keeping secrets.
“You’re gorgeous,” Nie Mingjue breathes out, but he sees Lan Xichen flinch at his words and that won’t do at all.
Nie Mingjue flings Baxia into its stand, and then cracks his neck, allows his own change to overtake him.
It’s slower than Lan Xichen’s, the change rippling through him and changing him layer for layer, but it doesn’t take that long either.
Soon enough he’s standing in front of Lan Xichen, his own form shown to an outsider for the first time, but Nie Mingjue isn’t worried anymore.
He doubts Lan Xichen will hate him for what he is.
Nie Mingjue is clearly something different, his form not at all like Lan Xichen’s; he’s corded muscle stretched over something akin to bone, though much harder; he’s heavy plates of teeth-like structure, rubbing together and making it sound like his whole form creaks; he’s a rusty red colour, steaming with the heat he emits, making it look like he’s drenched in blood and burning under it.
Nie Mingjue is solid weight, towering tall and huge in the room, too many limbs for any human resemblance, but they are not long and agile enough to be called tentacles, either.
He’s not pretty, not like Lan Xichen is, but it hardly matters when Lan Xichen relaxes in front of him, before his form shimmers and he takes his human skin again.
“Mingjue,” Lan Xichen breathes out and then reaches out for Nie Mingjue, who raises his arm to meet him halfway.
Nie Mingjue briefly worries if Lan Xichen will burn himself on his skin, but Lan Xichen gently wraps his hand around the offered limb, and since he doesn’t immediately flinch back, Nie Mingjue figures it must be okay.
He gives Lan Xichen a few more moments to look, before he pulls the shift back and wraps himself in his human skin again.
“So,” he says and Lan Xichen lets out a relieved laugh.
“You’re like me,” he whispers and while Nie Mingjue wants to protest that point—he’s not even nearly as beautiful and ethereal as Lan Xichen—he guesses it’s close enough.
Neither of them are human.
“What had you so worried?” Nie Mingjue asks first, because he needs to know where that reaction came from and he watches in fascination as Lan Xichen blushes.
“I thought you were baiting me,” he admits after a while and Nie Mingjue frowns, urging him to go on.
“I heard you talking about forms and monsters and thought you figured out what I am. I might not have listened to anything beyond that, the panic too strong and then I thought you insinuated that I would hurt Huaisang,” Lan Xichen explains.
Nie Mingjue doesn’t point out that he kind of did insinuate that—though for very different reasons— and instead he shakes his head.
“I had no clue that you’re not human either,” he quietly tells Lan Xichen. “I was worried about your reaction to my form, actually.”
“It’s quite the revelation, isn’t it?” Lan Xichen huffs out, a little smile playing around his mouth.
“Would you have told me?” Nie Mingjue dares to ask, and he curses himself when Lan Xichen’s face falls.
He instinctively steps forwards to take his hand in his, stroking his thumb reassuringly over his skin, but Lan Xichen still looks like he’s been punched in the gut by his question.
“No,” he whispers and then shakes his head. He takes a deep breath and then looks straight at Nie Mingjue as he says his next words. “Maybe if the topic of marriage between us ever came up, but otherwise, no.”
Nie Mingjue blinks in surprise at him, too caught off guard to say anything, and he sees how Lan Xichen pulls his sect leader mask over his face.
He doesn’t like it.
Nie Mingjue leans forward and brushes his lips over Lan Xichen’s cheek, finally daring to do something he has dreamed about for a long time.
“It will come up,” Nie Mingjue promises, lips moving against Lan Xichen’s soft skin and he can almost taste the blush under his lips. “Being a sworn brother to you was already too close to that for my taste to not tell you the truth about what I am.”
“”I’ve never—,” Lan Xichen presses out and then closes his eyes. “Our mother wasn’t very understanding of what we are,” he finally admits and Nie Mingjue understands.
The fear of rejection has to sit deep if even one of your parents can’t accept you for what you are. Nie Mingjue was lucky enough to have a very loving mother, despite their differences in species, but it’s no surprise not everyone was as lucky as him.
“I’m sorry,” he says but Lan Xichen shakes his head.
“It’s okay, now. You accept me for who I am,” he says, though to Nie Mingjue it sounds more like a question than anything.
“What a hypocrite I would be, seeing as I am not human either,” he gives back, but Lan Xichen shakes his head again.
“We’re still different. It’s okay if you don’t find my form pleasant to look at.”
“Do you not have ears in your other form?” Nie Mingjue incredulously asks but Lan Xichen only frowns at him. “I already said you’re gorgeous. You’re like the night-sky, dotted with stars.”
This time Lan Xichen blushes bright red, the flush spreading from his ears over his cheeks and down his neck and Nie Mingjue pulls him close to brush their cheeks together.
“You’re always beautiful,” he tells him lowly and he can feel Lan Xichen shiver in his arm.
“Shameless,” Lan Xichen gets out and Nie Mingjue chuckles at that.
“Only when it comes to you,” he promises and pulls slightly away. “Can I see again?” he asks and can see the pleased surprise on Lan Xichen’s face at that.
“If I can see your form again,” he gives back and Nie Mingjue immediately nods.
They might be best friends already, but their romantic relationship won’t be the only thing that needs some exploring now. They will have to get to know each other all over again, and honestly, Nie Mingjue is looking forward to it.
He wants to know all of Lan Xichen.