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Purebloods baffled the rest of the Wizarding World a great deal, whether it be because of their old ways of thinking or the strange ways in which their magic worked. Lily had been exposed to them in a terrible way which she blamed on her crummy friendship with jealous Snape. She had learned her lesson far too late and reflected on her earlier school years with regret towards her actions to one James Potter; the poor sod who liked her.
Falling out with Snape and realizing the error of her ways didn’t make her and James fast friends however. She was occupied with not giving him false hope and racking her brain for the reason why James was such an oblivious boy. He and Sirius were two peas in a pod and so perfect together that one would believe them to be made for each other.
Being of the same sex hardly even mattered to their responsibilities to have Heirs since they were both purebloods. Because as per the strange pureblood ways, a male or female pair would have old magic gift the lesser Heir with the ability to shift genders. Plenty would probably think then that James would be the one to gain the ability as Sirius was the Heir of the House of Black. And this would’ve been true if Sirius hadn’t left his home – and she had gotten close enough to them to know of this – and if it weren't for the fact that James was the only Heir of the House of Potter.
Yet... James seemed oblivious to the fact that Sirius was as hopelessly in love with him as James thought himself to be with Lily. Except, of course, James wasn’t in love with her at all and she could tell by the fact that his romantic interest in her had become more forced with each passing day. She highly suspected he only ever found her interesting and thought that he fancied her because he wanted to spite Snape; it said a lot that she wasn’t annoyed by this thought.
So she watched with barely disguised pity as Sirius lavished James with attention and perked up like a sunflower would to the sun whenever his attention was reciprocated. And also shared commiserating miserable looks of exasperation and despair for the two with Remus who had become a fast friend of hers.
*~*~*~*
Whatever Lily and Remus thought was unequivocally false.
Sirius was not as oblivious as his best mate and he could tell quite clearly what his new and old mates were talking about on the other side of the common room. Their stares bore literal holes into his consciousness and made him restless as all hell. Naturally, his best mate being his best mate noticed this with much concern.
“Hey,” James whispered quietly from behind the safety of the Transfiguration book they were both using for their half-finished essay. “What’s got you all up in a knot?”
There were two ways to go about this. Either Sirius pointed out the annoyance that was Lily conspiring with Remus and have his best mate figure out why – which he was not going to allow no matter how much he sometimes wished to clobber James over the head for not seeing him properly – or he could share one of his other worries since he’d never lie to his best mate.
“Hm,” Sirius hummed half-heartedly. “My seventeenth birthday.”
James frowned. “Uh… what about… it?”
“Seventeenth,” Sirius pressed. His dreaded seventeenth birthday, the Wizard-deemed legal age and the age which would trigger his ability to shift genders. It was a day of great importance and the first day he’d turn into a bird. He wasn’t quite sure how he’d go about switching genders quite yet and he hoped it would be a no-brainer when the time came. Wasn’t like he had anyone to ask anyhow.
“Oh. Oh. Wait, what?” James scrubbed at his face roughly. “What are you saying, Si?” His face screwed up into the most confused grimace ever and he threw down the Transfiguration book to give their conversation the focus it apparently deserved. “I didn’t know you liked blokes let alone had anyone significant.”
“Er –,” Sirius paled significantly. He didn’t think the conversation would veer so dangerously to the one topic he didn’t want it to go. Shite, why didn’t he think this through?
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
Sirius bit his lip, eyes wide as he took in the hurt in his best mate’s hazel eyes. “James… I – there’s – look… uhm… I just… just… I…”
The couch was suddenly in his face and he groaned from the combined annoyance and pain this reality gave him. He blinked dazedly at the all-too-bright flickering fire behind the grate and squinted at the shadow hovering above him.
“You alright?”
“James?” Sirius let himself be pulled upright into a sitting position and looked around blearily. The common room was deserted and the Gryffindor Tower quiet. “What… did I fall asleep?”
“Yeah. I sort of forgot you were using me as a cushion. Sorry about that.”
“Oh… no. It’s fine. We should probably head up.” Sirius groaned again, used his best mate as leverage to get up onto his feet and stretched out luxuriously. His eyes then landed on the sheets of paper and book in the other’s hands. He pouted. “Shite. My essay.”
James looked down at the papers and book in surprise as if he’d forgotten he was holding them before he tilted his face back up to flash a grin. “I finished yours.”
“’Course you did,” Sirius smiled back easily and slung his arm around the other’s broad shoulders. “Time to return to the land of dreams.” He steered them through the length of the common room, up the stairs and into their dormitory where they separated to do their nightly routine like clockwork.
Their essays and the Transfiguration book laid innocently by their shared bedside table – originally two pieces of furniture which they’d charmed into one on their first year – when they settled into their respective beds.
James fell asleep quickly, heartbreakingly handsome face bathed in the soft moonlight and his light snores like a lullaby. His thin shirt, a blessing and a curse rolled into one was practically see-through and hid none of the glorious expanse of smooth, tanned skin on his wonderfully crafted fit body.
Seeing this familiar, nightly view coupled with those innocent materials on their bedside table only served to remind Sirius of his dream. He sighed and, much like the dream version of his best mate, scrubbed his face roughly. His worries had revolved around how to get James to notice him romantically and ensuring neither Lily nor Remus spilled the beans but he hadn’t, up to this point, thought about how it was going to look like when he actually turned into a bird.
Merlin, James would be beside himself with all sorts of emotions and possibly crack.
What excuse could Sirius give when it happened? He had no doubt that their close bond would result in him turning instead of the other way around. For one, he was a disowned pureblood and for two, James was the only Potter Heir. Besides, he was the only one of the two of them who actively knew about their own feelings – not that that actually mattered but he digressed.
James would flay himself alive for missing such a great thing about Sirius. Their close bond would be called into question and what then? Perhaps Sirius should seriously contemplate skipping school. After all, he could just take his N.E.W.T.s independently and it wouldn’t be a problem finding somewhere else to live with his inherited money from Uncle Alphard.
It would work except… Except it’d hurt both of them in the process and… James would go ballistic and force the truth out of Sirius anyway. So obviously that wasn’t a viable option either.
Shite.
*~*~*~*
“Crickey! Would you look at that?”
The Gryffindors waved their red and gold scarves vigorously in the air and cheered exuberantly along with the Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs, effectively drowning out the jeers from the Slytherins.
“Abner has successfully blocked the Gryffindor hoops for the seventh time!”
Sirius smiled reflexively, too distracted with watching his best mate’s sharp upturn to fully appreciate the block.
“Slytherin doesn’t look too happ – There goes Potter!”
The Quaffle, knocked away by Abner, soared over the heads of the Slytherin Chaser and James dove up to snatch the Quaffle out of the air. He was gaining speed as he hurtled through to the Slytherin hoops, easily shooting past the Slytherin Beaters attempting to do a Body Blow.
“Will he? And… yes! Score for Gryffindor! That’s one hundred and ten to twenty!”
Sirius grinned widely and got onto his feet, arms raised in the air. His eyes met with James’ as they always did after his best mate scored a goal and they exchanged a thumbs up. He sat back down again when James soared away with second-hand thrill for his best mate’s outstanding form today; more than half of the Gryffindor points could be credited to him.
“Slytherin in possession – Battersby with the Quaffle. Other two Chasers closing in!”
The Slytherin Chasers were, for once, attempting an official move: the Hawkshead Attacking Formation. Sirius made a face as he realized that Battersby got himself protected on both sides. He could see James hovering in the air studying the opponent, most likely trying to figure out whether stealing was possible, while the other Gryffindor Chasers moved past that step and ill-advisedly swooped in.
“This’ll be a hard one to steal but Gaskins and Leverich are certainly trying! Will they or –,”
Just before the two Gryffindor Chasers could swarm in –
“Battersby throws and – Bloody hell!”
Sirius gaped and in his periphery, he could see James doing the same.
“I’ve never seen a Quaffle hit by a Bludger before! That’s some great Dopplebeater Defence by the Gryffindor Beaters: Pellman and Sobersy. Wait –,”
Sirius flicked his eyes wildly around the Quidditch Pitch and latched onto his best mate’s blurry form. There was no doubt in his mind that Latiss, the commentator, was talking about James and he was internally berating himself for having missed James doing something great.
“Is that – I can’t believe it! Potter has just thrown a straight ball at the Slytherin goal without anyone noticing! One hundred and twenty to twenty!”
Their eyes met once more and Sirius offered his best mate a breathless, open-mouthed grin. James laughed, the sound drowned out by the roar of the crowd but no less a precious sight. They exchanged thumbs-up once more and then the Golden Chaser of Gryffindor was off again.
“Wilcox has spotted something! Is it the Golden Snitch?”
Sirius darted a look at the Gryffindor Seeker diving down the pitch followed by Slytherin’s Seeker.
“Chitwood seems to think so! Hold on –,”
This time, Sirius had only given the other players a brief glance so he had witnessed James doing a rather spectacular sharp turn around the pitch after Checking Pullwood’s pass to Battersby.
“It’s Potter again with the Quaffle! Wilcox has swerved to the Ravenclaw stands – Chitwood close-by – Potter nearing the hoops – And he scores once more!”
Sirius broke out into his widest grin yet and he excitedly jumped up and down, two thumbs-up in the air. But James was distracted, head turned towards the Pitch and so he too looked over.
“That’s one hundred and – no, wait, Wilcox has caught the snitch! Astounding loss for the Slytherins! Fantastic play by the Gryffindor team! We close the last game of the year with two hundred and eighty points to Gryffindor!”
The noise level became deafening, their last cheer for James having not finished when they renewed their raucous roar for Wilcox and the whole Gryffindor Quidditch Team. Game done, Sirius and James finally exchanged another thumbs-up and then Sirius settled back down into his seat lazily. He’d be waiting there until everyone else scattered off and James finished showering.
*~*~*~*
Twilight had fallen when Sirius blinked awake from his refreshing kip in the Gryffindor stand. He stretched lazily and yawned as he slowly made his way down onto the pitch to the Gryffindor locker room. James always liked to take long showers alone after a good game to get some downtime and relax, which was why he had taken to napping a bit after every Quidditch game. Doing so gave him the added benefit of freely indulging himself with appreciating his best friend’s excellent form for the day.
He opened the door to the sound of running water and navigated the room with the ease of someone having been there too many times. No one else was inside and he could see only one set of Quidditch things on the long bench, neatly packed and looking clean as a whistle. His eyes then travelled to the arch by the south wall that led to the open showers and he stumbled.
Seeing James shower was not something he hadn’t seen before. Indeed, they had showered together on numerous occasions and he’d ogle his best mate a fair few times – okay, all the time – but seeing James shower alone… well. He didn’t think it’d be this goddamn erotic or he would’ve done it sooner.
He practically salivated at the sight of his best mate’s glorious naked body, so wet and delectable under the steady spray of water. James had his head tipped back and was luxuriating much like a cat under the sun, lithe body faced away and oh so open to advance that Sirius’ dick jerked to attention.
The usually attractively-tousled head of hair laid flat and long, emphasizing his best mate’s aristocratic face and slender neck. Quidditch-toned arms rested against the wall to brace the well-proportioned upper body which made the back muscles bunch up, creating various rivers streaming down the enticingly curved back. And a perfectly toned arse was jutted out in a criminal fashion, incredibly inviting and lecherously exciting to his stiff dick that wanted nothing but to squeeze in between the crack to enter the pink hole hidden within.
James was, quite frankly, the hottest thing and Sirius was so gone for his best mate. He swallowed convulsively and, with a herculean effort, tore his gaze away lest he got caught looking. Except, the gods weren’t done with him and he caught James turning around at the same time as he did. He was quite sure what he must look like, with his eyes undoubtedly dilated and his cheeks superheated, so he coughed then promptly choked.
His only saving grace was that he opted to wear robes today so at the very least his dick was hidden.
“Sirius?”
Through his own noise, he heard a squeak as the shower was turned off and wet footsteps slapped on tile. He was trying to regulate his interrupted breathing when his face was cupped by damp hands and his world was tilted upwards until he met with concerned, hazel eyes. “’llo,” he rasped.
“Hello,” James replied cautiously. “Does your throat hurt? You’re not coming down sick, are you?”
“Mmnm…”
“Good, because I’d hate to drink Butterbeer without you.”
“Mmm…”
“Alright…” James gazed at him seriously for a moment longer then, apparently deeming him okay, moved off to dry himself up. “Did you see Battersby’s face? He was so livid with me but missing the Snitch was the last straw for him. He just snapped and slugged Chitwood off his broom…”
Sirius really should be a good mate and listen but his dick was still upright and James was being decidedly too unabashed about being naked. None of this did anything to allow him to think straight. All he could think about was how much he itched to acquaint his lips with every curve and dip the water had caressed, to wrap his hands around that fit body and indent his fingertips on supple skin. He wanted to utter worshipful praise into the other’s slender neck and –
“Are you sure you’re alright?”
“Huh?” Like an idiot, he’d invariably gotten lost in his haze of want instead of actual reality. “Er – yes. ‘Course. Just… fell asleep and uh… the sun was too much.”
“Oh.” James frowned. “Do you want to take a cold shower?”
Sirius knew he should but he wasn’t about to shuck off his clothes and show off his erect dick. “I’ll be fine with some cold Butterbeer in me.” He perked up at the reminder of why they would be drinking and he slung his arm around his – unfortunately – fully-clothed best mate. “You were bang on amazing today.”
“Cheers,” James lit up beautifully, his grin wide and happy.
*~*~*~*
Asking Muggle-born Mary MacDonald for help in looking for and eventually securing a flat in Muggle London was both a good and bad thing. On one hand, she was blessedly enthusiastic and sincere in her wish to help and had her mother owl him brochures every single day. On the other, she was nearly as good a blabber as Bertha Jorkins.
So naturally, Sirius found himself in hot water not a week later. He felt that all his years being emotionally hurt by his mother held nothing to the sick, pained feeling that facing James’ candescent fury and betrayed upset gave him. “I’m so –,” he tried to choke out.
“No, Sirius!”
And Merlin, James had never been this angry or hurt before and it was all his fault.
“This isn’t something that I can just – just – brush away or forgive easily or – you told Mary before me? You – I – I’m your best mate! ME!” James was ranting, his hazel eyes bright and searing. “How could you? Why would you? You’re – You’ll break mum’s heart – Why are you leaving? Why – ?”
“James –,”
“You didn’t tell me,” James barrelled on, quietly this time and no longer shouting which just made everything a hundred times worse. “Did you tell her, Sirius? Who is she to you? You were never close to her – unless you hid that from me? Are you in a relationship with her? Is she more important to yo –,”
“NO!” Sirius denied loudly, unable to hear more. “No. Please, James. Just… I didn’t tell her anything other than to help me find a flat, alright?” He ran a hand through his long locks and licked his lips nervously. “I’ll tell you. Just don’t be mad at me anymore.”
James exhaled heavily. “Fine. Out with it.”
“You remember Uncle Alphard left me some gold?” Sirius waited until his best mate nodded. “And this year… well. It’ll be my seventeenth birthday, right?”
“Of course, I know,” James replied almost snappishly, evidently not calm yet.
“I’m preparing for when it happens. You know…”
“What?”
Sirius scratched at his cheek. This was his dream all over again. He’d have to say it and then he’d be cornered into explaining why and everything would spiral and – why couldn’t Mary keep her pouty lips shut? Nothing of what he planned was acceptable and yet he decided to go look for a flat anyway. He did this to himself even though Mary did have a hand in his early demise.
So, true to his disaster-self, he blurted out the last thing he should’ve confessed: “I’m in love with a bloke.”
“What?” James blinked. Then, he blinked again. And again. “Oh.” Again. “Wait, no. You – huh?”
“I’m not up to explaining this further,” Sirius admitted wryly.
James’ cheeks heated up and he cleared his throat. “Er – no need. Uhm. But. Hang on. You’ve been keeping this from me!” His tone was accusatory but he was, ultimately, too embarrassed and red-faced to be properly upset. “Who?”
“It’s – I didn’t know what you’d think, alright? And I’m not about to tell you who. Nothing will come out of it anyway. Merlin knows I’ve tried all I can to get him to show interest in me.”
“That’s ridiculous. You’re attractive and a damn catch. He’ll fall for you unless he’s a total cad.”
“More oblivious than anything, really,” Sirius muttered dejectedly. He was far too used to James praising and complimenting him to have his hope sparked by his best mate’s words. “Anyway… well, I was thinking, though there’s no hope while I’m a bloke so maybe when I turn into a bird –,”
“Wait. You’re in love with a pureblood?” James gaped.
Sirius pursed his lips. “You’re a pureblood.”
“Well, yes, but –,”
“But nothing. Not all purebloods are gits and what’s wrong with them being a pureblood?”
“You’ll turn into a bird!”
“Yes, James, I did say so.”
“No bloke’s worth a knut of you if they only like you as a bird!”
Sirius flushed faintly, simultaneously pleased and irked.
“Besides that, you’re my best mate!”
“Yeah..?” Sirius was totally baffled by this turn. “I’ll still be your best mate.” A horrible thought flitted through his mind and he felt his blood drain out of his face. “You’ll still be my best mate when I’m a bird, won’t you?”
“What?! Of course, I will, you tosspot!” James looked ready to throw a fit.
“Just checking.”
“Bloody hell!” James shook his head violently. “This hasn’t got a thing to do with you moving out!”
“Yes, James, it does. Because I will be skipping first term until I change and I won’t have anyone see me while I transition.”
“Even me?”
“You’d want to?”
“Well – well, why not?”
Sirius sighed. “You’ll be in school, James.”
“I’ll skip with you then. As if I’d go to school without my best mate,” James scoffed. “Who else would take care of you if you’d rather not stay with mum and dad?” He challenged. “So unless the bloke you fancy moves in with you, I’m moving in with you.”
Dear Merlin, what did Sirius do to deserve this? He wanted to laugh hysterically at how mucked up this all was. James was talking about the bloke he fancied as if his best mate wasn’t it. Merlin’s balls. “Right,” he said weakly, “move in with me.”
“So why don’t you just live at the Potter Manor like usual?”
“Uhm…” Sirius trailed off weakly, feeling hoodwinked and robbed and betrayed all at once.
“Mum can help you with the transition and Dad can just avoid you if you’re feeling awkward.”
“Right…”
“Great. I already told Mary you no longer need her services so don’t worry about telling her.”
Sirius sighed and resigned himself to his fate, inwardly wondering why he ever thought he had a chance of escape when he’d never succeeded in hiding anything from James before. His best mate, he thought fondly and exasperatedly, was a dog with a bone with all things concerning him after all.
Really, the only thing James didn’t know was the love he flaunted for his best mate so obviously.
Stupid berk.
*~*~*~*
There were many things that the two most studious students of Gryffindor House concurred with and few they didn’t. Naturally, the few almost always pertained to the Marauders because while Lily was very observant, she didn’t know James or Sirius well enough like Remus did.
So yes, she was right when she pointed out that Sirius was hopelessly in love with James and she was right too when she noted that James was completely oblivious. But she was wrong thinking that James hadn’t figured he didn’t actually fancy Lily and she was wrong to believe that James was keeping up the pretence.
Because if anything, James was acting awkwardly which was a far cry from his easy flirtations previously. There was a strain to his tone and tightness to his stature whenever Lily was near, things that Lily couldn’t observe since she didn’t know James well enough, and who could blame him? James had chased after Lily for years only to draw up short when she started being friendly because he’d suddenly gotten cold feet and found out, oh, he didn’t feel that way for her at all – awkward didn’t cover it.
Remus had a feeling that James had then panicked and promptly buried himself in all things Sirius to hide from it all. But by doing so, James had invariably failed to notice that he didn’t so much fall out of love with Lily as he was always in love with Sirius because the tosspot was amazingly oblivious. It didn’t help either that James had pretty much been ninety-nine percent dedicated to Sirius already before the Lily epiphany so the change to one hundred wasn’t significant in any useful way.
The only thing that happened was that Remus was clued in to the fact that his two idiotic friends were mad for each other and James was very frustratingly unaware of it. Sometimes, he wondered whether Lily’s ideas of forcefully cramming the two in a tiny room or in a situation that demanded snogging had any merit despite the threat of being stupendously pranked by either or both of his friends.
Currently, he was having one of those moments after hearing James recount Sirius’ attempt to move out of the Potter Manor into a flat in Muggle London for the pureblood transition. His impressive patience was the only reason he didn’t smack James upside the head for explaining away his strong feelings as one of a betrayed best mate and roommate. And this, while Sirius, the poor lad, drooped sadly beside James like the most unloved tulip in the world.
His heart went out for the both of them, truly.
*~*~*~*
Summer break was the most glorious period of the year – though this only held true since last year – because the many days of sweet, sweet freedom could be spent in its blissful entirety with Sirius and James attached to the hip. And yes, James was fully aware of how unhealthily attached they were to each other (some may even say co-dependent in a scandalous tone) and he didn’t bloody care.
In the wee hours of this particular morning, he was most suspiciously hiding out in his bathroom with Sirius snoring peacefully on his bed outside of the unusually-locked door. His odd behaviour could be explained away by the magazine he had clutched tightly in his whitened hands like it was a Howler.
It was a worrying gift from one Lily Evans for reasons. Firstly, because he had tried his hardest to maintain a distant if uncomfortable relationship with her despite her budding friendship with Remus. Secondly, because this was most certainly a very inappropriately-graphic gay Wizarding magazine.
And thirdly, because he was most assuredly incredibly hard.
Perhaps this was her way of revenge for figuring out he didn’t fancy her just when she made nice. She could also possibly have been trying to embarrass him by sending him such thing or even attempting to get him into trouble with his parents or – or – but he didn’t actually care for her reasons. He was far too concerned over the fact that he was hard and that he had substituted the males in the magazine with himself and his best mate.
“Oh shite.” James closed his eyes and let his head fall back onto his tile wall with a heavy thunk. He couldn’t even muster up the energy to panic or second-guess this revelation because it made so much sense that accepting the truth for what it was felt like coming home. “Shite. I’m such an idiot.”
Thump.
His eyes opened at the muted noise and he glanced down at the magazine in his hands for a second before tossing it unceremoniously in the basket under the sink. He opened the door to his bathroom quickly afterwards so Sirius wouldn’t worry about why it was locked and found himself wholly unprepared for the sight that greeted him.
For all that he had seen every inch of his best mate since they were eleven, his new revelation had made him exponentially more aware of the beauty Sirius was always lauded for. He’d always been aware, of course, but this intense need to snog his best mate silly was definitely new. Salivating over the expanse of freely displayed smooth tan skin and sculpted abs was also unquestionably new.
“James?”
“Huh?” James replied dumbly when he flicked his eyes up, caught unaware by how precious a sleepy Sirius was in the morning. His best mate was so adorably rumpled, long locks of wavy hair framing his softly scrunched up face and plump pink lips enticingly wet.
Sirius yawned and stretched luxuriously. “You still sleepy?”
“Uhm,” James swallowed, “yeah.” He took in his best mate’s vulnerable form for a moment longer, feeling truly blessed for being so trusted with this, and came to a decision. “Si?”
“Mm?” Sirius walked over with eyes only half-open and slumped over James in a lazy hug.
“Will there ever be anything I do that will make you sever ties with me?”
Sirius reared back as if burned, abruptly awake. “What?”
“Well?” James persisted.
“Did you kill someone while I was asleep?” Sirius frowned at the ensuing silence. “O… kay… hm.” He rubbed at his chin thoughtfully. “…no, James. So where shall we hide the body?”
Relief flooded James in an instant. He rolled his eyes and lightly shoved at his best mate. “Don’t be an idiot. There’s no body to hide.” Then, because he was in for a knut, in for a galleon sort of guy, he continued, “would you mind if I pursued you?”
Sirius choked. “I’m sorry?!”
“I know you said you’re in love with a bloke…” James scowled at this. “And while I have full belief in your good taste, I’m undoubtedly the best bloke around – next to you, of course.”
“Uh.”
“Well?”
“Hang on.” Sirius stepped back and raised his palms up, eyes wild.
“Er…”
“Wait,” Sirius took another step back, “just a minute.”
James dutifully kept his mouth shut this time and gave his best mate space to think.
“You’ve… you… fancy Lily.”
“No.”
“No?” Sirius repeated disbelievingly with a hint of a scoff.
“I only thought I fancied Lily but I don’t, no.”
Sirius let out a loud bark of laughter and shook his head. “I know you don’t fancy Lily. How do you?”
“Er.” James scratched at his cheek. “I – panicked when Lily started being all friendly-like and – hang on. You knew I didn’t fancy Lily! Why in Merlin’s name didn’t you tell me?”
“James. You spent years waxing poetic over her and ignoring her rebuffs. Why would anything I could have said changed that?” Sirius asked exasperatedly as he ran his hands through his long locks and ruffled his hair into a messier state.
“Because I’d have listened to you,” James told him earnestly. “It’s you.”
“Don’t be thick. You were obsessed with Evans!”
“Okay,” James said just to finish the conversation about Lily, “but I saw the error of my ways. And I really don’t care about Evans any longer so can we move past my wasted days of trying to woo her and,” he raised his brows, “get on with giving me permission to woo you instead?”
Sirius closed his eyes and rubbed at his temple as if he had a headache. “Why do you want to woo me?”
“Because…” James straightened up and mulled over his next words carefully. “Because I’m in love with you. Because I spent years flirting with Lily when I was really falling for you. Because no matter how obsessed I was with Lily, I was a hundred times more obsessed with you. I am a hundred times more obsessed with you.”
“Those are pretty words, James.”
“They may be pretty but pretty doesn’t mean no substance. You’re pretty.”
Sirius snorted. “That’s what you’re going with?”
“That’s what I’m going with,” James confirmed unrepentantly.
“You’re insane is what you are.” Sirius walked backwards until he could sit heavily on the rumpled bed. He roughly rubbed at his face with both hands. “What would wooing entail exactly?”
James spread his hands in a helpless manner. “I’m not really for subtlety so…”
“Yeah, I got that.”
“Want to snog?”
“Merlin’s balls, James!” Sirius let his body fall onto the bed completely and buried his face in a pillow.
“C’mon, Si, you can’t be this against being with me. I’m your best mate!”
Sirius let out a muffled scream.
“Am I really that undesirable?” James frowned and looked down at himself. He was a damn catch and fit as a fiddle if he did say so himself. Not only was he the Gryffindor Quidditch Captain, his genius was only – “ow!”
The pillow thrown at him fell on the floor and laid there innocently.
“Shut up, James, you know you’re gorgeous.”
James brightened and smiled smugly. “I know.” He blocked the second pillow thrown at him.
“You fooled yourself into thinking you fancied Lily, what makes this any different?” Sirius grumbled.
“Again, Sirius, the answer is simple: it’s you.”
Sirius huffed and flipped over onto his back. “Fine. Come here and snog me then.”
“Wicked.” James kicked the pillows on the floor out of his way and practically threw himself on the bed over his best mate. He paused then, held up by his hands on either side of Sirius’ head and his bent knees encasing slim hips in between, and let himself simply see.
Being so close was nothing new and yet everything seemed otherworldly new with his epiphany. It was as if he’d had a cloud or fog over his vision before and everything was crystal clear all of a sudden. He braced himself on one hand and lifted his free one so he could cup the other's cheek.
Sirius was, he always knew, a most fetching man. Almost beguiling with his pureblood Black features that screamed of aristocracy, elegance and refinement which were in stark contrast to his mischievous, rebellious and devil-may-care attitude; though truly, the gap further served to seduce and enthral.
He’d been a fool thinking he was one of the few to not have been caught by his best mate’s enchantment and the sudden need to worship threatened to drown him. His eyes lowered as he himself did and he knew with a certainty he would swear his magic to that he had never found another’s lips more enticing than he did these glistening pink lips parted for his taking –
“Shite,” Sirius gasped. “James. Hang on.”
James froze. He had only heard his best mate sound so fragile after a bout in the House of Black and never because of him. His worry increased when the light reflected off of a watery silver eye before the face he was admiring turned away. “Si?”
“Just. Can you not – just snog me. Don’t – ugh.”
“I won’t force you.” James immediately pulled away to sit back on his heels then just as quickly placed his hands on his best mate’s bare chest when Sirius lurched upwards in a panic. “I’m not going anywhere. Just talk to me, alright?”
“Alright.” Sirius stilled but his face was twisted up like he was in pain and his eyes were closed. “I’m in love with you, James,” he choked out. “I have been. Since second year.”
James’ breath hitched.
“This is… I can’t trust this, not yet. Can we just not involve any feelings for now?”
“No… feelings..?” James squinted at his best mate, trying to understand how they went from mutual love for each other to some wacked version of friends with benefits.
“James…” Sirius opened his eyes, showing a hint of plea in their silvery depths, and tried for a smile. “I’ve been trying to get you to notice me for years and I…”
“Nothing will come out of it anyway.”
“Sirius…”
“You’ve never showed any feelings for me, James.”
“Merlin knows I’ve tried all I can to get him to show interest in me.”
“Or maybe,” James started tentatively, “I always have and neither of us noticed.”
Sirius glared up at him half-heartedly. “What are you on about?”
“Here’s an innovative idea: I’ve always been in love with you so I’ve always acted that way like you have this whole time with me and neither of us noticed the other.”
“Merlin, you really are insane,” Sirius said but he was smiling so that was a win.
James grinned. “And everyone thought you were the one.”
“Bollocks. Come here then.”
“Mm – !” James’ squeak of surprise was muffled as he was jerked into a rough kiss that turned loving so quickly he was left dazed. Sirius kissed like a true lover would, gentle and warm and full of heart-breaking emotion. Those soft lips on his own made his possessive inner-lioness rear its head with a territorial growl. They could surely ruin an entire nation and build a more glorious one with one touch. And bugger if love wasn’t turning him into a sappy git. “Shite.”
“James,” Sirius murmured urgently as he slowed their kisses to pecks.
James whined and carefully laid all his weight down on his new lover so he could bury himself into the kiss further. The short kisses were driving him insane with want and need and, Merlin, lust.
“I’m trusting you,” Sirius told him firmly.
“Always,” James replied automatically, “and I you.” He suckled on a swollen lower lip. “Now buggering keep kissing me, damn it.”
“James.”
“Bollocks. Merlin’s saggy balls!” James pulled away with a herculean effort but hovered close enough that their lips would touch with a single tip of the chin. “I’m listening.”
“I’m trusting you with –,” Sirius cut off abruptly.
It didn’t matter much because James knew what he was being told and he was trying hard to keep his heart from rattling out of his chest. “Shite, Si. I – Yes. I’ll take care of it – you.”
Sirius let out a little chuckle that was more breathy than anything. “Just. Don’t break it. I – me. Don’t break – me.” He groaned loudly and turned his head away again. “Stop being a sap. I can almost see Amortentia fumes leaking out of you.”
“You’re a sap!” James snapped back without heat. “You absolute god. You, Merlin’s blessing to Wizard-kind. Morgana’s – mmpf!”
The rest of his words were drowned out and swallowed into a scorching kiss. Whatever words he wanted to say, forgotten in the lusciousness of being in his lover’s embrace and his obedience to the husky, exasperated and loving words growled at him before he was pulled into another mind-melting kiss that was thankfully rather endless this time.
“Shut up already.”
*~*~*~*
A month later, when the newly-minted couple deemed the world worthy of their attention once more, Lily and Remus would visit upon their invitation and witness a scene more appropriate in the backroom of a seedy pub or, perhaps, a raunchy Muggle film. They would also have had it coming for them for being a terrible peanut gallery and because Sirius didn’t appreciate James receiving a graphic gay magazine.
So they were the most attractive couple to ever grace humanity as well as possessive, oblivious idiots – what of it?
Fin.