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“Do you have plans this weekend?” Juliet asked Carlton, as they walked back to the station from their lunch break, a place that Juliet had insisted on. Pho wasn’t his thing but he would go there again.
She was just asking so she could say what she was doing this weekend which was something that he won’t care about but he’ll nod and tell her to have fun and then remember to ask her about it on monday.
“I may go fishing if the weather is nice, but nothing is set in stone.” Carlton said. “What are you doing this weekend?”
“That sounds nice. I have a blind date that my friend Sandra set me up on. I’m not sure it’s going to go well but it’s worth a shot. Have you been seeing anyone lately? I don’t think you’ve gone on a date since, like, 4 months ago or something.”
“O’Hara, I don’t need you to set me up.”
“I didn’t say anything. You don’t need or you don’t want? Because I know plenty of people that would love to be going out with this tall glass of water.”
“O’Hara.”
“What?
“I don’t need you to set me up. I do just fine on my own.”
“Is that code for I’m seeing someone or I have my eye on someone? It could be either or but I’m leaning towards the eye on someone one because I haven’t seen you go out with someone in a while. And, by the way, you’re glaring right now.”
Carlton tried to look stoic and indifferent but O’Hara could read him like a book on a bad day.
“It’s code for I don’t want or need you setting me up with some neighbor of yours that you know I’d be just perfect for.” He said, hoping to let the subject slide.
“Oh, my god. I’m right! I’m right, aren’t I? Who is it?”
“No one, O’Hara. Drop it.”
“I can’t. Not when we’re finally talking about this. Please, who is it? You have to tell me. Is it Sinclair from processing? I knew there was a vibe between you two. ”
“It’s me.” Spencer said walking by, as he passed the Chief’s office.
Carlton turned to watch him walk away. Spencer didn't look back, strutting off down the hall and out the front entrance.
When he turned back, Juliet was staring at him, a smile began to spread across her face. “No way.”
“No,” Carlton started to deny.
“I called it!”
“What? No, I do not like Spencer. That’s, that’s ridiculous.” Carlton denied. People were starting to look.
“I knew it. I knew it. I knew it.”
“No, you didn’t.” Carlton said. Juliet was starting to dance. “I-I left something in my car.”
Carlton quickly exited the precinct and looked for Spencer. He hadn't gotten far.
“Spencer,” Carlton bellowed. Spencer stopped in his track and turned around, with a stupid smile on his face.
“What the hell was that?” He demanded once he was closer. But not too close. Just close enough to be imposing and not… anything else.
“What?” Spencer was stupid smug, like always which really wound him up. He blames that smirk for the idiocy that follows.
“You know exactly what. How the hell did you know?”
“Wait, what? I was kidding. You like me?" Spencer asked, incredulously. "No fucking way!”
Carlton opened his mouth to say something but he’d already made a mistake of doing that a minute ago. Instead he shut his mouth and turned on his heel, trying to hightail it out of there. Maybe he could move, or go into witness protection. They let people who were going to die of embarrassment go into witness protection, right? Maybe because he was a detective, head detective, he could have a little sway. Of course, Spencer didn't let him get far, speeding up and cutting off his retreat.
“Hold up, Lassie. This is too good to be true. Let me just say, I’m over the moon, head over heels, this is amazing. I mean I was guessing before. I only half knew what you guys were talking about but sometimes I even astound myself.”
“Yeah, this is great.” Carlton said, sarcastically. “Now you have something new to lord over me. A brand new way to make my life a living hell. Amazing.”
“No, no, you sexy Detective-y Mr. Bean. Now we can get on like peanut butter and jelly if pb&j's like to do the pants-off-dance-off, and if pb&j’s had pants.”
This was sounding good but he couldn’t be sure with all the random words and phrases thrown in. “What are you talking about, Spencer?”
“I’m saying that now we ride off into the sunset like Grease! And I know you love that movie. I call being Danny Zuko. I’ve got the hair for it.” He paused, looked him up and down, and continued with a huff. “I’m saying that now that you have confessed your undying love for me-”
“Excuse me, I did no such thing.”
“We don’t have to hide our pining anymore." Spencer continued, without breaking his verbal stride. "We are free to be you and me. Shassie, or Sharlton. I’m in favor of Shassie but I’m willing to be persuaded,” He leered at him.
Carlton was speechless.
“What are you doing right at this very moment?” Spencer stepped even closer, which was practically toe-to-toe.
“Working, unlike you.” Carlton responded on autopilot.
“Well, how about after, I pick you up, or you pick me up, and we go get some food, or some drinks, or whatever you want? Celebrate our new found love. You know what? Don’t say anything. I’ll figure it out. It’ll be a surprise. Okay? See you at six.”
Carlton was left standing alone on the sidewalk before he could clear his throat or try to get a word in.
He walked back into the precinct in a daze, walking over to his desk trying to look as unfazed as he could.
Juliet was waiting. “So, any plans this weekend?”
“Maybe.”