Chapter Text
Day 0
It feels way too fucking weird to be back here.
Cassandra's bedroom is in a similar state to before, largely trashed after her tantrum earlier. In all the craziness the day brought, however, someone took the time to fold up her old headdress and leave it on her pillow. (The person responsible? She can only imagine it was Rapunzel.) She can't bring herself to rip it up the second time. It's like all the anger that was festering left with the moonstone. It's drifting through space, leaving her with this unusual feeling inside. It's not hollowness, but it's not exactly peacefulness either.
Rapunzel lingers in the doorway with her. They've been holding hands the whole journey back to her room. Cass hadn't noticed it at first, until the curious stares from passers by started getting on her nerves. But then, seeing the cause for concern, she couldn't tear her hand away. If it had felt so normal she hadn't even realised something was amiss... well, that's just a sign, isn't it? It's been a long time since she's looked for signs.
Signs that Rapunzel might love her the way she wishes to be loved. Signs that she isn't imagining the long looks, the flirting, the casual touches.
Well. It's been a long time since all of that. Coming back to it as though no time has passed is jarring in itself.
“You're sure you don't want me to stay?” Rapunzel asks. They both peer in. The black rocks are gone, but the echoes of this morning's chaos remain. “Or... you can stay with me?”
Cass appreciates it. She does. But she can't take up more space in Rapunzel's day. She's already done enough; all Rapunzel deserves now is to be embraced by her parents, or Eugene, or take an early night for herself. The burden on her shoulders, the one that Cass created, has been wearing on her for almost a year now. She deserves to have it lifted.
“I'll be fine, Raps. Go on, now.”
She steps forward, but Rapunzel doesn't let go. Cass feels herself jerked back slightly and turns to face her. Their arms are strained with the distance, and Rapunzel has a look on her face that Cass has rarely seen. She's seen conflict, and heartbreak, and disbelief. This is none of those. It's a way Raps looked at her before she brought her black rock sword down on the bridge, severing their ties for the first time. A look that screams please don't let go.
It's a look Cass has given her before, she's sure of it.
“You're not going to disappear, right?” Rapunzel asks quietly. “Corona is still your home, even after all that's happened.”
Disappearing sounds fucking amazing, actually. Run off into the woods and never come back. Vanish into the morning fog, be spoken of only in myth. Forget all your mistakes.
But Cass is a realist. She shakes her head.
“No. I'll stick around. I promise.”
“Please don't break it.”
“I never do, when it comes to you.” Cass squeezes her hand tightly. “Not anymore. Never again.”
Rapunzel purses her lips and nods, her grip on Cassandra's hand finally slackening. She retracts it shyly, still watching Cass with a wide, anticipatory gaze. Expecting her to turn around and escape through the window, maybe. Expecting her to grow cold and distant again, perhaps.
Cass sighs. “Raps. I'm just tired. I'm going to sleep. I'll still be here come morning, okay?”
Rapunzel smiles, but it's still hesitant. “All right. Goodnight, Cass.”
She turns to leave, before changing her mind, stepping into the room after her. Before Cass can protest she is scooped up into a bear hug. Rapunzel buries her face into Cass's chest, clinging on as the seconds pass, and Cass rests her chin atop Rapunzel's head. It's peaceful. Then she lets go, and it feels all too fast.
“Sweet dreams,” Rapunzel says, with a smile and wave, before finally leaving the room. Cass stays rooted to the spot, listening as Rapunzel's footsteps grow lighter, further away, until they fade into nothing. The room feels achingly empty now that she's gone.
Her feet drag but she finally reaches her bed, sitting down heavily and moving the headdress to one side. She thinks back to the events of the afternoon with a heavy heart.
After eventually untangling herself from Eugene and Rapunzel's embrace, things had been... strange. Some Coronans were giving her smiles and nods, applauding her as much as they did Rapunzel. Some were looking far more apprehensive. A few even looked downright furious that she was on the receiving end of any praise at all. Cass supposes they're well within their right not to trust her, after all the damage she's caused Corona – after bearing the responsibility of Zhan Tiri's return. That's just what happens when people are weak, isn't it? Always, in the books her father would read to her as a child, the weaker ones were preyed on, manipulated, turned against their friends. And that lead to their ruination.
That was her, wasn't it? Until a few hours ago, anyway.
There's so much to work through now. Rapunzel might be all-loving and all-forgiving, but trust has to be built again with just about everyone else. The thought is exhausting. Impossible, even. No one is as forgiving as the girl she loves, after all. So, naturally, she had excused herself as soon as possible to hide out in her room until further notice. It's not like she isn't planning to help sort out the mess of the castle, but right now, she's terrified of being seen by anyone. Now that the threat of Zhan Tiri is gone, they can only direct their anger towards what remains – the puppet who's been way too bitchy and destructive for anyone to feel sorry for.
God, she hates herself right now.
Cass lies back, arms folded behind her back, staring up at the ceiling with its familiar crack along the left hand side, the same old patch of mould in the corner, grey and scabbed over with age. If she keeps her eyes trained on the ceiling and ignores her peripheral vision she can pretend that she's younger than now; that this is from an easier time, before their quest outside of Corona, before the moonstone... but if she glances even an inch downwards, she can see a wrecked closet beside her, she can see debris and fabric in tatters. And it all becomes real again.
The thrum of the castle, echoing footsteps above her, muffled voices all around, are their own whale song. Her eyelids grow heavy, and she falls asleep without being missed.
…
Day 1
When Cassandra wakes, head thick with leftover sleep, she sees Varian's face inches from hers and almost has a heart attack.
“VARIAN! What the – what are – how did you get in here?!”
“There's a master key to all the rooms in the castle, of course,” he says matter-of-factly, leaning back with his arms folded. “And Rapunzel was worried when you didn't resurface at the crack of dawn like you usually do.”
Cass, having backed up against the bed frame in her haste to put some distance between herself and Varian, glances towards the window. The sun is high up in the sky – a tad too high for her liking.
“What time is it? How long was I asleep?”
“It's past noon. Rapunzel said that's unusual for you.”
Cass's eyes bug out.
“Noon?! God, I only ever sleep in that late when I'm sick.”
“Rapunzel said that too. So, I made it my business to check in on you. She wanted to, believe me, but there's a lot of... y'know, political stuff to sort through after all that's happened. The other kingdoms have caught word of the commotion already so they're having to meet with the rulers and straighten everything out.”
Cass grimaces, a pang of guilt washing over her. Of course the other kingdoms would be worried by the blood red sky and Corona having half of its structure ruined. And of course Rapunzel would be left to clean up her mess, again. Despite this, there's a flood of disappointment, after all that Rapunzel made her promise to stay, she's the one nowhere to be found.
“I'm surprised you bothered,” she finds herself saying instead. “I haven't exactly been a nice person lately. I mean, we were enemies until yesterday, weren't we?”
Varian frowns and leans forward.
“Cassandra, I understand how you're feeling. I went through it too. But when I was at my lowest point, Rapunzel was there for me. She gave me a chance to ask for forgiveness – to become a better person and earn everyone's trust back. And I did it! I hope.” He rubs the back of his head sheepishly. “I'm not saying it'll be easy. But you aren't forgotten just because of everything that's happened. We still care.”
Cass purses her lips and looks away.
“You care, but you fired the gun.” It's not an accusation, just... a statement. Because he did, and she still can't completely understand why. She doesn't even understand how it came to be made, how Rapunzel ever agreed to it, and that part still hurts.
“Not on purpose,” Varian says quickly. He at least has the decency to look distressed at the idea. “I don't really get what happened that day – I mean, obviously the gun fired. I don't know if it was faulty, or, or if I accidentally left the safety off, but – Cass, all I knew was what I'd been told. And I was told Rapunzel was in danger at your hands, and that's why I brought the gun with me in the first place. But even so, it wasn't my plan to actually use it right then and there, not when Rapunzel was trying to calm the situation down. I wouldn't do that, Cassandra.”
“But you did!” She pushes herself up off the bed and begins to pace. She's full of uneasy energy. It's not quite anger, but it's something bordering on negative, and the last thing she wants to be after everything that's happened is negative. “Varian, help me understand. Please. Why would you even make that thing? Zhan Tiri said it was to destroy me, and, I know now that she was manipulating me, but after everything you went through with your dad... how could you think that it was okay to use the amber like that?”
“Of course I didn't think it was okay!” he burst out. “But what choice did I have? I didn't know how to make you stop. I tried to talk to you, remember? You didn't want to listen.”
He's right, but it doesn't make it any easier to think about.
“I'm listening now,” she says at last.
He runs a hand through his hair and sighs.
“Cassandra, the amber was only ever meant to be a last resort. I didn't mean to use it on you that time. I could see Rapunzel was starting to get through to you, why would I choose to jeopardise that?”
“I've been asking myself the same question,” Cass mutters. She stops pacing, leans back against her bedroom door with arms folded. Hashing things out has been such a trial by fire lately, but she's trying her damn hardest not to let that anger back in. If she's going to start earning back trust, it probably starts with not being so fucking defensive all the time.
“Well, it was an accident. A horrible accident that broke your trust in me. That much I'm sorry for, Cass. But I can't say that I regret taking precautions, not when Rapunzel and the rest of Corona were at stake. I hope now you see that it wasn't personal.”
“I know that.”
It all just feels like so much. The last 48 hours have been a fucking wagon ride down a steep incline.
“I know no one will believe me, but I came back to Corona to make amends. My intentions were to... I don't know, set things right somehow. Earn back that trust before revealing myself. But things didn't work out that way.”
“Things rarely pan out how you want them to,” Varian offers. “But I remember the way the play went down. Was that your doing?”
“Faith is no actress,” Cass says dryly. “Neither am I, really, but I'm apparently good at trickery as long as I have a cloak over me. The play was real. I made it so, since Feldspar's adaptation of what happened was so god awful.”
“For what it's worth, I think the play made more sense once the improv began.”
“Thanks.”
Cass slides down, sitting on the floor with her back still against the door, and watches Varian tiredly. “It felt good, right? Having the power to get a hold over me?”
He freezes. “...What?”
“I heard that you and Eugene were cackling over it like it were some shiny new toy. But you're not an idiot, Varian. You knew how powerful a tool like that would be. Was it the power that made you happy?”
He shrugs.
“I enjoy making things. I enjoy when the things I make actually work. And yeah, maybe it did feel good knowing that I could be useful in a fight. Isn't that why you snatched the moonstone?”
“I guess. Being powerful and being useful feel like the same thing a lot of the time. I had to be self-reliant if I was going to take my destiny into my own hands, you know?”
“It's still not too late for that. Just, uh, maybe do it without bringing ancient demons into it next time, I guess.”
It's a joke, but it still stings knowing how bad things got because of her. She squeezes her eyes shut.
“So. Why'd you show up here, again?”
Varian's face brightens at the change in topic and he rises from his seat, moving closer to Cass and sitting down cross-legged opposite her. He clasps his hands together.
“I wanted to check you over in case being separated with the moonstone messed with your constitution. Do you feel under the weather at all?”
Cass frowns. “I don't know. Not really? Just tired. I felt really weak right after the moonstone was taken but I bounced back from it. And then I... well, Rapunzel brought me back and healed me. I don't feel so bad.”
“I'm glad she did.” Varian gives her a toothy smile. “I still want to check in on you every so often though, just in case of any lingering effects.”
“Sure.” Cass really thinks hard about whether she can sense any changes, but all she feels is in need of catching up on more sleep. She flexes her right hand and grimaces, the gesture not quite escaping Varian's notice.
“Something wrong?”
“I didn't really think about it yesterday with all the excitement, but Rapunzel's healing magic didn't seem to do my hand any good.”
“Your hand?”
“On our travels I... I touched Rapunzel. She was in the throes of an incantation. The magic – it burned my hand. Or, or maybe it wasn't a burn... either way it started to wither. When I took the moonstone it stopped hurting, but now it feels tender again. I'm just not ready to look at it yet.”
Varian frowns and leans forward. “Then how do you know it didn't help?”
“What?”
“The healing magic. You haven't even looked at your hand?”
Cass frowns, folding her arms and looking away. “I don't need to. It feels weak. My fingers are stiff. It's just like it was before I grabbed the moonstone.”
“Cass, you can't just leave it! At the very least, let me clean it. You did clean it after what happened, right?” Varian runs his hand through his hair, brow furrowed in concern. “You must've. You must've! Or, you'd have gone septic, right? Unless the moonstone cauterised the wound somehow? Cassandra, I'm dying to know, please!”
“Varian!” she snaps, and he shuts up. “I cleaned it as soon as I could, I'm not a fool. It was a painful process and didn't do anything to improve its condition aside from preventing spread of infection through my system. It's always going to be this way and I've accepted it. So there's no need to bring up my hopes again.”
Varian studies her scowl for a few seconds, before reaching over in a flash and wrenching her glove off.
She hisses. “Varian, you little-!”
As she reaches over to snatch it back, she glances down at her hand and freezes in place.
“I'm sorry, I was feeling impulsive,” Varian says quickly, tossing it back. It lands in her lap but she doesn't move. Her mouth is gaping open. “Cass?”
“It's – you were right. Look at it!”
He examines her hand with a grimace. It's heavily scarred, marred in mottled pinks, reds and browns, almost becoming its own new terrain. But Cass is looking at it like it holds all the secrets of the known universe, eyes wide and gleaming.
“You mean it was worse than this before?”
“Varian, it was like charcoal. It was so badly decayed I couldn't stomach to look at it. But now – I mean, look at it!”
Some strange feeling is stewing in her chest, threatening to bubble over. It starts with a quirk of the lips, spreading outwards. It tickles her nose, sings in her ears, until she can't contain it any longer.
She bursts out laughing.
Varian watches in a baffled silence as she doubles over laughing. She cradles her hand to her chest, taking in lungfuls of air as more oxygen escapes. There's ecstasy in her laughter, pure unfiltered joy with each gasp.
It started with Rapunzel, and now it's ended with Rapunzel.