Chapter Text
Ted hunched his shoulders as he came in through the office door. This was dumb. What even was a family lunch? In a business office? What was that gonna do? Nothing but fill the office up with squealing children. Nothing but make people ask Ted why he had no family to bring. Bullshit.
“Morning Ted,” Melissa waved to him as he entered in the morning. “How’re you?” She was spinning in her office chair. Why was she in such a good mood? Not like she had family to bring either.
“What’s the grin for? Did you bring your cat? Or manage to wrangle one of your parents into coming?”
She bared her teeth in a show of disgust. “Nope. Even if they had a free second as if I’d want them here. They’d just tell me to clean my desk and then go get a better job. What about you? You find anyone?”
They had sort of been discussing it for the week leading up to it. She was the only one he didn’t mind sinking down to because she wasn’t bright enough to pick up on the existence of a social ladder, honestly. He had been a little worried that showing up alone would bring about the questions, make him look a little lonely -especially if Charlotte bought Sam- he had been dreading it all week
“No. I’m telling you, this whole family thing isn’t even important. It was one big ploy for Mr Davidson to bring his wife in without us telling him he’s slacking off again.”
As if on instinct Melissa averted her eyes from the blinds to Mr Davidson’s office, humming to distract herself. “Mayhaps.”
“And he’ll give a ten minute introductory speech that’ll drain half our lunch break just to introduce her to everyone like he even gave us the chance to forget her.”
“Cannot wait for the day I find someone who loves me that much,” she cooed, her thoughts drifting elsewhere. “A wife. We will move to the mountains and spend all our time with one another, make our own bread, our own honey, knit sweaters, garden-“
“Oh my god, not again.” He had heard the first half of this ramble and it went on for ages. He did not care how badly Melissa wanted to move to the forest to live in a cottage and read books by the fireplace. That was not the point of this conversation. He’d see if she’d still be smiling come lunch break when family started to arrive.
Unfortunately she was, but that wasn’t really a surprise. He had never seen her frown, actually, but god that was one hell of a smile. And that meant he would have to head down to the IT room to take out some warranted frustration on his peers as per usual.
“Oh. There’s a party in here,” he regretted it the second he opened the door. It was full, there were people sitting on the floor.
Emma was in Paul’s lap, Alice was sitting on the opposite side of Bill’s desk, Sam was loitering, looking like as asshole, everything seemed to track.
Everyone turned to look at him as he opened the door.
“What’s up, asshole?” Emma looked up from her lunch.
“Wow. That’s unwarranted,” he held up his hands in defence. “Hey Paul, are you even allowed to bring her? She’s not family if you aren’t married,” he pointed out.
“Hey babe, you wanna get married?” Emma titled her head back to kiss Paul’s chin.
His face lit up red, his jaw dropping. “Yes, what, now?”
“Well there you have it, Ted.” She tapped a hand to Paul’s blushing cheek to bring him back to the present.
“That doesn’t sign the papers, Em.”
“Well if I’m not here for family shit I’m here for a coffee run,” she shrugged, putting her drink to her lips.
Paul wrapped his hands around Emma’s waist anxiously. “What’s wrong with Emma being here?”
Ted put his hands on his hips. “Parents wouldn’t come?” Was he projecting? Don’t make him laugh. Of course not, duh, no way.
“Paul isn’t twelve years old, who cares if his parents couldn’t make it? Where are your parents then, Ted?” Emma jumped in before Paul could have a second to face those words.
But before he could answer Melissa swung the door almost off its hinges with a laugh that could be heard all the way down the hall. “Guys! Look!” Her hand was attached to Schaeffer’s, but following in behind her was Carol Davidson, with their boss in tow.
“God, isn’t this a fire hazard?” Sam raised an arm to make room for the extra people.
“Wow. Okay. I thought the rules were clear, family only,” Ted restated as Melissa pushed him aside to show off who had arrived. “Really, Colonel? Nowhere better to be?”
“She’s here with me,” Carol answered. “Because my dove let me bring her along,” she paused to plant a kiss on Mr Davidson’s cheek and the whole office seemed to cringe at the PDA.
“Wait, wasn’t Carol the plus one?”
“Tell that to her stock share,” Paul answered, bringing his chair in to make some extra room.
“She can come in whenever she likes,” Mr Davidson warned Ted.
Just because his boss was here did not mean Ted was going to start playing kind. Especially after seeing Melissa did actually have someone to bring.
“Man, you guys are really looking like 5 year olds right now, ‘bring your family to work day,’ I’ve never heard that at any other company. You guys are way too excited,” Ted found a space to lean up against the wall, snorting.
“It’s just a nice excuse to see our families, Ted,” Bill frowned, one hand reaching out to Alice who was too occupied playing on her Switch.
“Yeah, because a lot of talking is getting done between you two,” he snarked.
“Ted, why do you have to be such an asshole?” Emma sighed, leaning forward from where she had been laying her head on Paul’s chest. “You don’t have to ruin other people’s fun.”
“I think someone’s just mad they didn’t have anyone to bring,” a wicked grin crossed Sam’s face as he slapped a hand down on Charlotte’s shoulder, knocking her fork from her hand and onto her skirt with a gasp.
“Uh!” He held up a finger to refute. “That is not true, Melissa didn’t get to bring any family either!”
The girl’s face turned red but her expression didn’t change. Instead, she cleared her throat and spoke with a voice that was perfectly articulated. “Did you guys know there’s a paintball tournament on this weekend?”
And Ted slowly felt everyone’s eyes creep up to lock onto him, Melissa gave him an innocent look, Bill’s brow was furrowed, the colonel pursed her lips and averted her eyes, Emma licked her lips. “What? What?”
“I don’t suppose you’d wanna play a round, Ted?” Emma instigated. “I mean, if a family day is such a shitty day how about a CCRP paintball tournament, ‘caus,” she made a finger gun, pointing it across the table and titling it up to aim at his forehead before mock firing.
“Emma, I could beat your fucking ass at paintball.”
“I’d like to see you try!” Paul cut in on behalf of his partner. “I think we’d all really love to play a game with you.”
“Oh my gosh,” Alice put her Switch down in her lap, peeking up. “Deb was gonna take me-“ she paused to divert her sentence before her father could hear. “I mean, she was telling me about that tournament.” It was a sort of bad save that everyone in the room seemed to notice but Bill.
“Dad, can I come? Could I bring Deb?”
“Uh, I think this is just for the adults, sweetie,” he apologised. “Just for the CCRP guys, I’m sorry.”
“Nah bring the kid, and I think I’d like to come,” Sam invited himself. “This Saturday?” He double checked, already on his phone. “I hope you don’t mind if my squad comes along. Rob’s been killing for a chance to enter the tournament.”
“Me too, I’ll call McNamara,” Schaeffer spoke up in a voice like she was commanding a platoon and not a very small group of office workers.
Ted really hoped that would make everyone else back down. Surely inviting proper soldiers would not be encouraging, but Emma was looking at him like wounded prey, practically salivating.
“I’ll get Hidgens to supervise,” she added helpfully with a smile.
Ted hoped that wasn’t an implication about his biology degree coming in handy for medical aid. Oh my god. Melissa was conniving. He had just upset a whole room of people and she had given them revenge on a silver platter. But hey. He was not a coward. He would live up to his word.
———————————————————
Ted was one of the lucky ones who actually fit into the paintball utility vests.
They were too bulky on people like Alice and Melissa, and too big on Emma. McNamara had to leave the front clip unbuckled just to fit his chest and shoulders in, and Mr Davidson the same.
Ted couldn’t help but laugh at the sight of Emma. She just wasn’t filling the vest properly, Hidgens had been playing with the buckles to try and tighten it like she was incapable of doing it herself, she was standing there with her shoulders slumped and her fake gun in hand and still being fussed over like a five year old who couldn’t dress herself.
The prep area had maps of the field up on the wall that Schaeffer was studying carefully, Alice and Deb had gone to their own corner to make some sort of pact or blood bond away from all the adults before the game started. As he continued in his scan of the room he had to quickly rush by his boss and his wife who every time without fail were kissing when he looked. Paul and Bill looked far too nervous about the game, definitely tagging along for someone else’s sake and not their own. McNamara was critiquing the fake military decorations, and at the end of his scan he found Charlotte, hovering anxiously by Sam’s side as he laughed with his cop friends. He was so inconsiderate.
Ted was just trying to signal her over when Melissa finally took charge of something.
“We should split up into teams.”
“Now that!” McNamara patted her on the back so hard she almost doubled over. “Is a good place to start, kid. Let’s pick some team captains!”
Although it was fairly easy to decide who they were going to be. A process of elimination of for starters, who was capable to lead, and that knocked out half the group instantly. When you whittle it down to who was good with guns and not an asshole, there were only so many options left, and people had began to gravitate towards McNamara or Schaeffer.
“I think I should be a leader, actually,” Sam held up a hand and the duo of cops behind him sneered at his rejection, elbowing him in the side and punching his back to kick him while he was down as good friends should.
“Oh jeez,” Paul was wringing his hands. Ted bet he wouldn’t last five minutes. “This is just like gym class.”
“Well then, let’s pick some team members, shall we?” McNamara declared, his finger pointing straight to Paul.
“Oh,” Paul put a hand to his chest to confirm that. Ted always knew Paul was never the boy who was picked first in sports. This was weird. He made his way over, very self conscious of how he was walking, to Mcnamara’s side.
“Your pick, Schaeffer.”
Ted was prepping himself to be next. Or maybe third or forth. The cops did have practice with actual guns, after all. But no, the colonel chose Emma. Paul’s jaw seemed to drop at the idea of being opposed to Emma, but Emma only pretended to cock her paintball gun which made Paul pale.
“What? Her?” Sam spoke up Ted’s thoughts exactly and it pissed him off that they were so similar. “We’re trained with guns, actually,” he snickered like the two team leaders had just made a major loss.
“Oh great,” McNamara nodded his head up. “Doug, then.”
Doug drove their elbow into Sam’s side with a jeer, laughing at Rob as they strode over to McNamara’s side.
“Doug always wins at everything,” Rob scowled, definitely plotting something.
“I’ll take Rob then,” Schaeffer declared.
“What?” Sam, the ultimate jock, was in shambles. “I’m the chief officer here!”
His squad members sneered at his defeat.
“I’ll take Ken,” McNamara clicked his fingers to beckon the man over, and his wife stayed attached to his hand. “Oh I’m taking both of them.” He nodded, no arguments. “PEIP doesn’t believe in splitting up couples, I guess” he added.
“What?” Paul made a vague gesture on Emma’s direction that everyone ignored.
“We’re a package deal, General,” Mr Davidson tucked his head to his wife’s neck with a rumbling laugh.
“Can we do that?” Paul’s jaw dropped, craning his neck to find Emma in the crowd. “Can we?” He looked between the two team leaders.
“No,” McNamara, Schaeffer and Emma seemed to say in unison.
“Paul, I’m gonna take you out,” Emma announced. “I bet I’ll get you before you know it.”
He had no comeback, just gripped his gun tighter.
“Well I’ll take...” Schaeffer surveyed the thinning crowd, still avoiding Ted and Sam. “Deb, and you can bring your girlfriend.”
“Yes!” Deb high fived Alice as they scattered over to come stand by the colonel’s side.
“We’re going to win,” Alice nudged her with a look at the opposing team. “Dad, we’re going to win!”
“I’ll take Bill, actually,” McNamara chose.
“That’s not very ‘we don’t split people up’ of you,” Deb chortled before Alice hushed her.
Ted shot a worried glance around the remaining group. Him, Sam, Melissa and Charlotte? Really? No. He would not be picked last. He refused. He cleared his throat, drew some attention to himself.
“Charlotte, then.” Charlotte seemed to have let some bottled up frustration out when she was Infected. Perhaps she would do really well.
“Well. Sam then, I suppose. You said you were good with guns?” McNamara called him over and Ted just about vomited right there and then.
He was last on the wall, right besides Melissa. Jesus Christ, Melissa. Fresh out of high school, the baby of the group in the presence of actual teenagers, cat coddler, standing at just over half his height. And the colonel chose her over him.
“Aw, finally, Schaeffer!” She skipped over to stand between Schaeffer and Emma. “I can’t believe you didn’t pick me first!”
“Back of the line, soldier,” Schaeffer elbowed her with half a smirk. “Don’t make me exchange you for Ted. I’m in this to win, not to make friends.”
“Wait, what?” You could pinpoint the moment her heart broke.
“Sorry, Melissa. You’re good with a bat, not a gun.”
Ted scowled as he made his way over to McNamara’s side, ignoring Bill’s sympathetic smile.
“Uh, hey. We’re one short one,” Emma spoke up. It’s eight to seven.”
Everyone did their own individual headcheck like they couldn’t trust Emma.
“Oh. Simple. We’ll take him then,” Schaeffer tipped her head towards Hidgens.
“Oh, me?” He seemed flattered. Ever spritely for his age. “I mean, if you insist.” He hurried to grab a vest and a gun.
“Oh my god, Hidgens,” Emma gaped. Ted was fairly sure one hit would shatter all of his bones.
“I’m perfectly capable, Emma,” he assured her and the rest of the gang. “In fact, I’m quite certain I’ll win.”
“Well only one team can win,” McNamara gave a hearty chuckle. “And I think it’ll be ours.”
“Hey, well. Let’s change it then. If one team gets taken out it’s every man for themselves,” Melissa prompted. “Does that sound right?”
“Yeah, that works,” Mcnamara and Schaeffer agreed.
Sam shot Ted a meaningful look. And actually, almost everyone else seemed to follow. God. Were people still actually mad at him?
“Very girls versus boys,” Rob started. “Girls versus boys and Doug.”
“That’s rich coming from you on the girls team,” Doug fired back, hands on their hips. “Misgender me and it’s off with your kneecaps, buddy.”
“I did not misgender you!” He held up his hands in defence.
Doug gave a grin that showed off their pride in how well they had trained their squad.
“Last place, huh?” Ted shrugged to Melissa.
“Oh,” she was rubbing her hands, the look on her face suggesting she was not quite though with not being first pick. “Oh, I will not be last place. I’m going to win this thing.”
“Win?” That wasn’t the first word that ever came to his mind when he looked at her, but all the conversation ended as the sirens blared to let them out into the field.
Everyone took off, and Ted knew where he was headed. He had taken a quick look at the map and in the five minute grace period for the blue team to get to the other side of the field, he had plans of his own. Right between the border of the red team and the blue team was a tree, and when he got to it he hauled himself up to the highest branch where no one would be looking for him. He loaded his gun.
Everyone was out for him, and that meant he had to hide. If he won, that meant no one was allowed to be mad at him anymore.
When the second siren went he could see both teams filing out from where they had decided to hide. From the blue side, Rob and Deb seemed to have teamed up, tracking towards the border. He was surprised to see Bill taking some ambition, marching on his own up towards the halfway point. Perhaps he missed the part where he and Alice were on separate teams, that’s something Bill would do.
Ted lay himself out across the branch like he was some sort of jungle cat, even as they got closer no one had seen him yet.
They hit a halfway where both teams saw each other and Deb dropped down to her knees with a chuckle to hide from Bill. “I can’t shoot him, he already hates my guts,” she told Rob, ushering him on. “You get him.”
Rob got down on one knee to take shelter for a moment, leaning out to see where Bill had gone. Only a little more hesitant, he trekked on.
“Alice?”
Ted snickered through his teeth, clutching a hand to his mouth. Well, of all the people on his team he never expected Bill to make it to the end unfortunately. His dad instincts were too strong, and even if he could see Rob he doubted he would shoot.
Deb waved Rob in to take the shot. “I know him, he won’t shoot. Promise.”
Bill refused to cross the line, not quite knowing the rules. He toed it for a second before biting down on his lip and stepping across.
“First mistake!” Rob laughed loudly, bouncing up to land a clean shot on the man’s vest. “You’re on the bench!” He whooped, far too excited to have the first kill on his hands.
Bill let out a bother sigh, more upset about being interrupted in his search for his daughter rather than actually being shot. He had only played because Alice was insistent on coming. He was expecting Paul to go out much the same way.
Rob fisted the sky, forgetting about his teammate in exhilaration and crossing past the red team’s border to continue on his kill streak.
He watched as Bill huffed and dragged himself back the other way, and as Deb slowly got up to check he had gone, sneaking off after Rob.
“Well that was kind of racist,” Ted announced his presence. “I mean, the cop just shot the black man. Haven’t heard that before.”
“Hey! You!” Deb scrambled for her gun, but Ted didn’t play the waiting game and shot her in the shoulder. “Shit!” She cursed. “You’re spawn camping, man!”
“What? I’m just playing the game to win, and I believe you’re out now, kiddo. You should’ve followed your teammate.”
“I hope you get fucking shot, bro,” Deb seethed before loading her paintball gun and unloading the whole magazine on Ted’s forehead.
———————————————————
“The game has only just started,” Davidson cooed. “We don’t have to jump straight to it, do we?” He knelt down besides his wife where she was peering out into the open field behind some decorative metal scraps.
“Depends, do you want to win?” Carol laughed. “There’s a lot of good people on the other team.”
“I know cadence. But I’ve got you, and that’s good enough for me, sweetheart,” he purred, leaning into her.
She laughed, dropping her stance to wrap her arms around his shoulders. “Hello, dear. What’s this about?”
“The vest suits your hair so well,” his fingers ran through her hair. And they had both seen it coming, but the game was completely forgotten in exchange for each other’s embrace which quickly turned into more.
“Good god,” came the heavy sigh of Hidgens behind them, but they barely noticed. “Can’t save the kissing for home, can you?” He cocked his gun. “Well, that’s on you, I’m afraid.” And with two shots, the both of them were eliminated from the competition, though it took another few shots for them to realise they were actually out. At least the out bench had a bit more privacy.
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Melissa thought this was all silly. Couldn’t believe she wasn’t first pick, or at least second or third. “Can I get a show of hands of who actually survived the apotheosis, please?” She growled to herself. The utter heartbreak and betrayal of Schaeffer picking her last.
She crept along, keeping the weight in the tips of her toes so her steps remained silent, keeping her shoulders down to remain below eyeline, listening out closely for anyone as she made her way to her hiding space. She had to take it slow. According to the speaker: Bill, Deb, Carol and Mr Davidson had already been eliminated. There weren’t too many people left on the red team, five more. She was good at keeping track at things. Oh she was going to make them regret ever picking her last, she was going to-
“Hands up, you’re under arrest.”
Melissa froze, plan forgotten, a smile tugging at her lips. “Doug?”
“Don’t think I wasn’t watching you back there, I know exactly what you’re up to, I knew you’d be headed this way,” they cocked their paintball gun as Melissa raised her hands.
She blushed. “R-really?” She couldn’t help the stammer. “You were watching me?”
“When can I ever take my eyes off you?” They teased, “hands on your head, up against the wall and I might just spare you.”
Too flustered to do anything but giggle, she obeyed. A forbidden, cross-territory romance? So much better in real life than in the books.
“I came looking for you right away, I knew you’d be dangerous, hun.” Despite the fact they had no handcuffs on them, they grabbed Melissa’s wrists to hold them there.
“Aw, you think I’m dangerous?” She laughed. She was smiling so wide it hurt.
“Of course. I know exactly what you’re up to. You’re smart. I have to eliminate you. Mcnamara was a fool for not picking you first,” they added.
Melissa had never been seduced into compliance before. It would probably make cops a lot cooler, because it was certainly working. “Oh you think so?”
Doug had to hold a hand to her head just to get her to stop trying to turn around, but they only continued with their mock arrest because if Melissa was laughing this much she certainly couldn’t be disliking it. “I know so. If you were on my team, I’d be a human shield for you. You’ve got so much potential,” they ripped Melissa’s paintball gun from her grip. “Shame to see it go, sweetie.” They kept her pinned there.
“Oh well I mean, you could totally let me go and just pretend you never saw me, couldn’t you?” She bargained.
“If I did that for every pretty criminal, I would not be a good cop.” Doug released her hands to press the barrel of the paintball gun up between her shoulder blades. “Any last words?”
“Hey Doug!” Came a voice, loud yet distant, and three seconds later Melissa heard the splattering of paint, and Doug let them go, stepping away.
“Rob!” They shouted back, and Melissa could catch a glance of her teammate perched atop a stairway, he shot her a salute. “You bastard!”
“You always win, Doug! Don’t get so cocky! That’s what’s gonna happen to you if you take five to seduce a girl!”
“You’re just pissed because you’re still single!” Doug took off, leaving Melissa on her own to chase after Rob even though a hit now wouldn’t matter.
Melissa got her wits back in seconds. She had almost lost over a pretty cop. Typical of her at this rate, but she wouldn’t let love get in the way anymore. Not when it was four to seven. Everything was going according to plan.
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Paul’s team was going fast. He couldn’t be brave, not even if Mcnamara told him he had it all under control. According to the speaker they had just lost Doug, and when he sized up his team it seemed like he was the next to go. Between Ted, Sam, Mcnamara and himself, he was the weakest link.
He had no big goals to prove himself, he was thinking about how much the shot would hurt once he was hit. He was starting to panic, just a little. That was right up until he turned the corner directly into Emma. His reflexes kicked in before hers, and he pressed her to the wall with his gun.
“Hi,” she began, breathless from the surprise. “You should let me go. You aren’t actually going to hit me with that,” she put her hands on her hips, even dropped her gun down for effect. “You’re a coward, babe.”
“I’m not a coward!”
“You look like you’re crying, babe,” she smirked, giving him a quick kiss. “I can see it all in my head, you’ll let me go and tell me to run and you’ll pretend you didn’t see me. You’ll really work yourself up for it and you just won’t. Why waste your own time when you’ve only got four members left, huh?” She crossed her arms across her chest.
“Hey, you don’t have to be rude about it,” he frowned. He couldn’t see a way this would end with them cuddling on the couch back at home. There would be drama. “How do you know I’m not gonna- not gonna shoot you?”
“Because you can’t even say it without stuttering,” she smoothed one hand up his forearm and then up his shoulder, pulling him in by the neck so they were touching. “I know you Paul. You wouldn’t. You’re gonna let me go and cop all the blame from your team when you lose, all for me. Because you’re sweet like that.” She let a small laugh escape her lips as his face flushed red.
“Actually, you know what Emma?” He used a leg to kick her gun away and her smile dropped. “I’m not going to take any blame!”
She didn’t refute him immediately, but she didn’t seem as confident as before. “You don’t have it in you.”
“Yes I do.” He had destroyed the meteor, he had to remind himself. He pressed the gun to her heart.
“Oh, you do,” she looked down, turning pale. “You do, huh?”
“It’s been so lovely to see you Emma, honestly,” he began a very long winded apology. “I mean, seriously.”
“Paul don’t start this.”
“I mean. Highlight of the match running into you, it’s nothing personal, I swear,” he chuckled, taking the hand that had been running up and down his arms and pressing their foreheads together. It was much more menacing from this end for her it seemed. “I’ll cook dinner for you tonight.”
“Shoot me Paul and we’re over. I’m serious.”
“You’re just saying that. You can’t blackmail me into losing. Cut that out. I’m going to shoot you, and then we’re going to get home tonight, I’ll make your favourite, we’ll go to bed and we won’t argue,” he laid it out for her.
“Nope. Shoot me and I’m sleeping at Hidgens’ tonight,” she added. “Don’t do it, Paul. For real. Let’s just walk away.”
“I’m just so sorry. But this is what has to be done. Hands up, Emma, and start walking away. It’ll hurt less if the gun isn’t so close.”
She didn’t argue. She took him up on that offer because it would be the best way to stand a chance, but unfortunately he would just not give it to her. “You sound like you’re an executioner.” She raised her hands up, taking a step backwards and looking him in the eye as if to play on his sympathy.
He let her believe in it for a second, keeping his gun raised but refusing to cock it as she took a step back, and then another, and then another. Twenty paces. She could almost run. He let her believe it, always granting her just one more step, one more second of hope. But then her eyes darted to the side, her smile twitching, and he couldn’t take the risk. He cocked and fired, hitting her in the shoulder.
“Fuck!” She shouted, grasping her shoulder and getting red paint all over her hands. “That really hurts, dude!” She lifted it up to see if maybe her shoulder was bruised, but she couldn’t see through the paint and the uniform anyways. “Oh my god!”
“Wait, I’m sorry, really?” He gaped, his heart shattering as he hurried to her side. “For real?”
Emma looked up, holding out a hand to stop him. “I’m sorry, Paul.”
“Oh, about that break up talk? It’s alright, I knew you were joking.”
She snickered, shaking the paint off her hands. “No, babe. I just wouldn’t turn around if I were you.”
“Oh you’re a fool, young man,” came Hidgens’ voice, grim and serious. “You really think you could get away with shooting Emma?”
He couldn’t see it, but by the way Emma was laughing he definitely had his gun trained on Paul’s back. All of Paul’s confidence drained out of him like someone had pulled a plug. The heat in his body was replaced by cold, cold dread.
“You really think I haven’t been keeping an eye on her, son? You should’ve just listened to her, and let her go. It was a shame it had to be you of all people, Paul. This’ll hurt me more than it hurts you.” Paul recognised the sound of the gun cocking, and his lower lip began to shake. This was going to hurt, hurt really badly too, according to Emma. “Sorry, young man. But rule number one? Don’t hurt Emma.”
He stumbled forward as it shot into his back, and with a giggle, Emma helped him catch his balance. “Ouch?”
“Yeah! Ouch!” The more sympathetic part of his mind he had just been suppressing showed itself again, and he grew worried about some of the younger participants. Melissa and Alice and Deb, guns this strong were not made for them. He was worried for anyone who would shoot Hidgens, too. He wasn’t the eldest, but he certainly wasn’t in peak health. Fortunately for his nerves he did not have to wait long.
“And rule number two! Don’t waste your time with dramatic monologues, theatre kid!”
Hidgens was pushed to his knees as red paint splattered down his neck and into his silver hair. A voice that obnoxious could only belong to Ted.
He was waving his gun up in the air, laughing triumphantly at his victory.
“Hey bastard!” Emma shouted back. “You’re out already! You’ve got paint all over you! Get off the field! You did not have to do that!” She hurried over to help Hidgens up.
“I’m not out!” He wiped another hand across his paint stained face. “Deb open fired on me!”
Emma exchanged a look with Paul. “Oh, we’re allowed to do that?” And with an unspoken language, Paul and Emma had made the mutual decision to empty the rest of their pallet on Ted.
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“Charlotte!” Ted gasped as he finally ran into her, she swung her paintball gun up with a yelp.
“Don’t make me- oh, Ted! You’re already out. Are you alright?”
“I am going to bruise so badly,” he answered, not bothering to explain he wasn’t actually out. “You just out here on your own? Where’s the rest of your team?”
“Doing more work than I am, I bet,” she gave a shy chuckle. “Oh, I haven’t seen any of them. Even little Alice and Melissa are still in, I believe. It’s only my Sam and the General left on your team now, isn’t it?”
He nodded. To be honest, he wasn’t going to shoot Charlotte, even if he still was in the game. He wasn’t going to put her through the panic either. “Yep.”
“Oh and I’m so sorry,” she looked like she wanted to hug him, but the paint he was soaking in was a bit of a deterrence. “People really are mad at you.”
“Oh, no kidding huh?” He shook his hands to try and get some paint off them. Hey, he wasn’t out yet, he could still win and get the public opinion back in his favour.
That was right up until Sam came screeching in, and with a move that lacked any sympathy and any foresight, (or intelligence at all for that matter) shot his wife right in the chest.
“Sam!” She dropped her gun, wincing as she placed a hand to her vest. “You got me!”
“Yeah! You’re staying too still Char, you actually have to move around to make sure you don’t get shot, that’s on you!” He raised his gun victoriously.
“Oh, I suppose I’m not very good at this game, am I?” She clutched her hands to her vest, nodding.
“Don’t say that. You’ve lasted longer than everyone else!” Ted tried to reason with her before she could get down.
“Oh, I suppose so,” she gave him a pity laugh.
“You were the second person out on your team, Char. Right next to an elderly man. Don’t let it go to your head.” He tilted his head in the direction off the field, and she trudged off.
“Hey! That was way too harsh, man!” He shoved Sam. “She’s your wife, show a little compassion.”
“This is a game! I’m not not going to shoot her! Are you in or are out? Where the hell have you been?” Sam would’ve pushed him back if it wasn’t for the paint.
“I’m still in! But everyone who’s out keeps shooting me!”
“You should go take a seat, man. Every time someone doesn’t shoot you it’s because you’ve tricked them. That’s cheating. Charlotte would’ve shot you- oh, well maybe not, but someone else would’ve,” he huffed.
“Come on. They’ve got a whole ass team and it’s just the three of us!”
Sam looked like he was going to snap back but he grabbed Ted’s collar and yanked him down to the ground, ducking down behind a wooden barrier. “Shit!” He called as a blue paintball splattered across the back wall. “Rob, get here, dickhead! Show yourself!”
There was another shot, just skimming Sam’s head which sent him ducking right down.
“You guys have some infighting problems I see,” Ted rolled his eyes, gripping his gun. “Jesus. Watch this.” He stood up, locating Rob just up ahead, standing on top of a raised platform. “Aw man!” He slapped a hand across his knee.
“Ah!” His face lit up with a grin. “I got you!”
“You didn’t, actually,” he loaded his gun, landing a clean shot that wiped away his grin. “Everyone on the bench did.”
“Oh, fuck off,” Rob looked like the only thing holding him back was his honour to his badge, and how bad it’d look if he as a cop rage fired. He jumped down from the platform to storm off to the bench.
“That was a cheap move!” Sam scolded.
“I never told him I was out! He believed that himself! What does it matter? He isn’t even on our team!” Did Sam hate him enough to betray his team?
“Yeah well you’re covered in paint so maybe you should piss off and leave the General and me to it, okay? We’re the only ones with actual gun experience,” he rolled his eyes, widening his stance. “We’ll finish this off. Christ, what is it? A couple of teenage girls?” He reloaded his gun.
“Yeah, a couple teenage girls,” a young voice broke the tension and they whipped around to face it.
That was Bill’s girl. She was still in? “Uh.”
He couldn’t just shoot an eighteen year old girl. Even Sam seemed to hesitate.
Alice however, did not. She fired a shot straight into Ted’s chest. “That’s for my girlfriend, idiot.”
Sam scrambled for his gun and Alice shot him while he was fumbling.
“Don’t argue so loud. It makes me super uncomfortable.” She seemed to take some cold joy in shooting their argument to pieces. She pointed her gun towards the off field, years of bottled up rage showing up unbridled in her eyes. “You lost. Get to the bench.”
——————————————————
“It’s three to one,” Charlotte sighed as Ted and Sam came to sit on either side of her.
“Oh what? Because we think a military General is going to lose to the wonder blue team? A colonel is just a lower rank than a general. Alice is an eighteen year old girl, and Melissa is Melissa,” Sam pointed at the TV’s were they could see it all going down.
“Well, the General and the Colonel have been staying low,” Bill told everyone. Even now McNamara was only just heading out to the centre in search of an opponent now that he was the only red team member left.
“Yeah I guess,” Emma shrugged. She was still ignoring Paul and was resting her head on Hidgens’ shoulder. “They’re in the military and we’re just a bunch of kids. They could probably kill us with a paintball gun if they wanted.”
“You really think so?” Bill began wringing his hands.
“Don’t worry. McNamara isn’t going to kill your daughter,” Rob was leaning up against the wall, breaking away from betting with Doug. “Although, Mcnamara is definitely going to win.”
“That’s a bit of treason,” Deb’s brows knitted. “You’re on the colonel’s team, sir.”
“Yeah I know. But it’s what Sam said. A General is a General, and he said he totally aced his marksmanship course,” Rob continued, opening up the betting to the rest of the bench.
“Well maybe the colonel did too?” Charlotte suggested.
“She was into swordsmanship, actually,” Carol informed them all.
The blue team scanned the waiting room of all its gun memorabilia before sharing a collective wince.
“I think the colonel could win!” Paul suggested hopefully, trying to get Emma’s favour back.
“Suck up,” she just told him. “But yes, she will.”
“Well all for Mcnamara raise their hand,” Sam rallied them. He raised his own hand and Rob followed, then Ted. Mr Davidson looked up from the corner where he was kissing Carol (as Bill put it, ‘they’ve been like that since they got here, and they haven’t stopped) and put his hand up too. Carol didn’t seem to have heard the question, and just did as her husband had.
“Wow. No loyalty to your own sister, huh?” Doug crossed their arms.
“It’s loyalty to the red team,” Mr Davidson jumped in to defend her.
“I love her, but she’s much better with swords,” Carol had to admit, but she had hit the limit of time she could spend apart from Ken and they went straight back to kissing.
Deb snorted, pointing a finger. “What the fuck, is this allowed? What the fuck, is that allowed?”
“Deb, don’t swear, please,” Bill scolded.
“It’s a Vine!” She held her hands up. She only seemed to just realise no one in the waiting room was her age.
“So the rest are votes for Schaeffer?” Charlotte tried to steer the topic back to the voting, her own palm up. Emma shot her hand up first and Paul followed suite. Bill and Hidgens added their votes too.
“That’s five for five,” Ted rallied them up. “We’re missing two, who didn’t vote?”
“Me,” Deb stuck her hand up. “I think Alice will win. I can’t believe where some of you are with your voting priorities. You aren’t gonna vote for your own daughter, Bill?”
“Oh- I didn’t know we could-“ he stammered.
“I vote for Melissa,” Doug offered up. “She has a plan.”
“I can’t believe any of you are voting for those two against people in the actual military,” Sam snorted.
“Being in the military doesn’t make you invincible,” Deb crosses her arms. Doug just responded by kicking him in the shins, and they all turned back to the TVs to watch the final showdown.
———————————————————
Schaeffer knew the General would be around here somewhere. He never played the hiding game, he’d be out in the centre of the field and she was going to take him.
“Oh Colonel!” He called her from where he was standing, just in plain sight, one hip popped nonchalantly. “You’re still hanging about. Good game?”
“I don’t play games, General,” she loaded up her gun for the first time. Anyone else would’ve been taken out too easily, and Mcnamara must’ve had the same idea because according to the speaker he hadn’t eliminated anyone either. “Can’t believe I haven’t heard your name over the big voice.”
“Same for you, I thought you’d gone over the hill, Schaeffer. It’s just us now, you know.” He was making no move to aim his gun like he was mocking her. “Hey, Schaeffer,” he called her so she would look up from loading. “Spud.”
“Wow!” She finished loading. “Don’t fang me, John. No hard feelings but I intend to win.”
“That’s a bit of a Blue Falcon, Colonel. And there are consequences for this.” He raised his gun to aim it at her. “You’ve always been an expectant, three timer.”
“Below the belt, John,” she cocked her gun. “Burn bag.”
“Ate up.
“Geardo.”
“That’s rich coming from you, chest candy.”
The general consensus from the bench was still even, except now with only added confusion. Tension was brewing on the bench, Ted’s nails digging into his knees to urge them to fire, even Carol and Mr Davidson had put their very teenage-esque make out session on pause. The trio of cops has started betting louder on who they thought would win, Emma was so entranced she almost forgot she was still mock-angry with Paul and snatched up his hand to hold.
“You shoot first, Schaeffer. Free hit. Go ahead.”
“No, you.”
“Well will someone!?” Deb snapped at the screen.
“Wanna western shout-out this? Just to be fair?”
“Yeehaw, General.”
“Oh my god,” Sam rested his head on the wall.
There was an uncomfortable mix of tension and boredom floating about the waiting room.
“If I were either of them I’d just turn around now and shoot,” Emma confessed. “For a final show down this is a little slow.”
“It’s about the drama, dear,” Hidgens pointed out, on the edge of his seat.
But before they could count to ten a splatter of blue paint sprayed across McNamara’s chest and he let out a grunt.
“Schaeffer!” He dropped his gun, not even able to finish his sentence before the colonel whipped around to fire a shot.
Schaeffer lowered her gun, noticing he had already been shot. “What the fuck?”
“Who shot me!?” He glanced around.
“Well that’s a win for the blue team!” Schaeffer did not care, she probably would’ve gone through some intense soul searching if she had been the one to shoot her General anyways.
“Not so fast,” someone cocked their gun behind her. “Once we took out the other team it would be every man for themselves, right? You agreed.”
“Melissa,” she couldn’t bite down her smirk. “Now this is a blue falcon.”
“Jokes on you. I don’t even know what that means.” The girl placed the barrel of her gun to Schaeffer’s back.
“Careful with that, girl, or you’ll blow my shoulder off.” Could she counter Melissa if she wanted? Yes. But grabbing the girl by the neck wouldn’t be necessary in just a game. “I don’t think you know what you’re doing.”
“Oh I do. This is what you get for picking me last, Schaeffer.”
“Well I can see that I might’ve made the wrong decision now, but I wouldn’t be so confident you’re going to win, Melissa. I’m not out yet,” she still had a finger on the trigger of her paintball gun, and if she moved quickly enough she could get her. Schaeffer wasn’t big on ‘friendly competition.’ “I didn’t expect you to last this long. You’re sneaky.”
“Yeah. I read warrior cats growing up,” she shrugged. Schaeffer didn’t get it. “I just outlasted the competition. I didn’t care about taking anyone else out. But you betrayed me, Schaeffer. And I need my revenge.”
“You’re hesitating.”
“I’m just relishing in the sound of you admitting you made a mistake,” Melissa raised her tone to hold the floor so Schaeffer wouldn’t speak and break the silence.
“You wouldn’t.”
“I would and I will.”
“You’re doing an awful lot of talk and not a lot of shooting if that’s the case,” she grinned. “You’re not gonna shoot.”
“Try me.”
“It’s not happening.”
She fired.
“Jesus Christ!” She hunched her shoulders up. “Point blank, Melissa? Really!?”
She didn’t even seem to muster up any sympathy, and kept a stone cold glare as the speaker announced Schaeffer had been eliminated and a siren sounded overhead. “I bet you’re feeling pretty sorry now,” she placed her hands on her hips. “Because I won! And this wouldn’t have happened if you had just picked me first! Or I mean, second, even!”
Schaeffer turned around with a grimace to yank Melissa’s gun from her hands. “You have no clue how to use that thing. You’ve just done my back in with that. I’m not young, Melissa!”
“Well who cares! Physio is on me, Schaeffer, because I won!” She pumped her fist into the air.
“Reckon anyone is gonna tell her that siren doesn’t mean she won?” Deb leant back against the wall.
“Think again.”
Melissa stumbled forward as the shot slammed into her back, falling into Schaeffer’s open arm. She caught her around the waist before she could drop to her knees. “What?” Melissa breathed.
“That’s what happens when you get to full of yourself,” Schaeffer tutted. “You can never overlook the young ones.”
Alice was the last figure on the field, and the victory siren began to sound instead. “I don’t get what it is with you guys are your long monologues. Just shoot and be done with it.”
———————————————————
People had to spend a very long time explaining to Melissa that she had not heard the victory siren, but the siren for the final two players. It didn’t seem to get through to her that she had made an oversight, perhaps she was in shock. It was too much betrayal for a girl with an already fragile sense of mind, and Schaeffer couldn’t apologise enough for taking her gun off her before the game was actually over. From what was gathered around the office the next day through osmosis, Schaeffer practically had to nurse her back to health mentally and physically with a lot of awkward reassurance on her behalf, some icepacks for the both of them and quite a few rounds of tea.
McNamara couldn’t believe a story about Schaeffer being so emotional, but Carol had let the office in on a few, sweet secrets about Schaeffer’s softer side, and McNamara had teased Schaeffer the whole way back to HQ in an attempt to get her to open up more. Schaeffer had shut him down and bullied him about his poor team picks, in which he reminded her of Melissa’s betrayal.
The HFPD were all pretty flat. Most of them still pissed at each other for taking each other out, all nursing a bruise or two, but the real loss was that no one won the bets at all. Melissa had been a complete oversight (not for Doug, as they would reiterate) but Alice being the real winner was completely uncalled for. Frustrated, Sam had made the threat to arrest Alice too next time he caught Deb and her smoker gang doing something dumb. At least Doug could hold their half-right bet above the other’s heads and scold Rob for shooting them. If he hadn’t fired at them they would’ve gotten Melissa out, and then the General or the Colonel probably would’ve won. Sam, who had not heard that half of the story had shoved a series of menial yet tedious tasks onto the officer as punishment.
Professor Hidgens had learnt he still had some youth left in him which he bothered as many people as he could into a rematch that would never happen. The surprise winner had still taken too much out of everyone. Emma had even noticed the bruise on Hidgens’ back when he came in for class the following day.
Even Charlotte and Sam had not argued that night. He had some passion in complaints they had both shared, but at least Charlotte was move forgiving towards the teenager who had won. She had quite enjoyed the outcome, recounting it to each of her cats as she got home that night, trying not to pet them too much lest she get paint all over their clean pelts. She and Bill had talked over it for weeks, and from their volume (which always quite bothered Paul) they thought the whole town should know.
Deb and Bill had lauded over Alice for a while, none of the compliments of which she accepted though. In fact she had almost forgotten about the match by the end of the week. Deb had told the whole story to Sof and Danny over and over, it wasn’t about betting right, it was just about how great her girlfriend had been. She couldn’t stop thinking about the looks on everyone’s faces. The whole room had been watching the Schaeffer Melissa situation, so seeing Alice show up on the cameras gave her a reaction she would savour forever. “You were so quick, I loved the part where you told them all to quit monologuing. Watching some of those guys on the camera, oh my god,” Deb chuckled. “Paul and Emma? It was practically foreplay.”
“Some people always want to argue,” she had told Deb out of her father’s earshot. “Arguing always wastes time, I just wish they wouldn’t,” she continued. “Anyway. I just wanted the match to be over so I could get home and play new horizons.”
The aftermath hadn’t gone exactly as planned for Paul and Emma. He carried through on his promise to make her dinner, he wasn’t expecting to have to serve it to her though. “I’m just in so much pain, Paul. You broke all my bones. It’s your fault and you should feel bad about it.” But at least she hadn’t slept at Hidgens. When he woke up in the morning she had already left for work, but she had left him an ice pack for his bruises, so he assumed their mock fight was over.
The office had a pleasant chatter to it the next day at least, well, except for Melissa. Everyone was too focused on other things to scold Mr Davidson for bringing his wife in to work again even without a family day guise. He hadn’t been too tough on filling out work, he almost considered letting Ted take the day off for the sheer amount of bruises he had accumulated but he had been so pleased to bring Carol in he had forgotten to tell him. So Ted did come, made his way through the office receiving a few strange stares from coworkers that had not been to the tournament. Melissa offered to run down to the pharmacy to get him an ice pack, so at least she was recovering from the shock, but Ted had declined. Because even if he didn’t win, let alone his team, hey, at least no one was mad at him anymore.