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“We met on the job back when I first started after my training. Eight months later we were living together… Four months after that, he was offered a great position in Berlin and he accepted it without even telling me about it. No second thoughts. He just packed, sent most of his stuff there and left. The most I got from him was ‘see you around’.” Jackson shakes his head as he remembers that day.
Since Stiles met Jackson he’s always been totally composed, in what he’s somehow decided to call spy-mode, so this is definitely new; there aren’t tears but Jackson’s eyes are definitely wet and they are avoiding Stile’s gaze, looking at his plate instead. Jackson’s hand plays with his fork which he moves around what is left of his food languidly.
It’s easy to realize that he was hurt, disappointed and therefore, truly in love with this guy who disposed of him like he was garbage. He’s not surprised that Jackson may have trust issues after being abandoned like that. Eric seems to be that ghost that never leaves and that explains a lot of things.
“Wow, it seems that both of us have had our fair shares of assholes. But yeah, I think it’s better that you found out sooner rather than later. It just sucks that he made you so cautious.”
Jackson is not sure if he’d use that word but he’s not gonna argue. As far as he’s concerned, there’s nothing wrong with him or with being cautious.
Jackson leaves the fork he was holding next to the plate and moves slightly towards the table, staring at Stiles. "So, if you had talked to me like you wanted, what would you have said?”
“Can we not talk about that anymore?” Stiles shrugs.
“Come on, you've been interrogating me... I know how to do that too," Jackson retorts.
"Yeah,” Stiles nods. “I've seen it before, unfortunately… and you know what? It’s not one of my favorite moments of the year. And besides, I don't know… I can’t answer you because I don’t know." Stiles shakes his head.
Jackson smiles. "You said you had rehearsed… that you had a plan."
Stiles looks away avoiding Jackson’s gaze. Then at his almost empty plate, and finally, focusing on his hands.
“I… I’m sure it was a stupid plan,” Stiles says, meeting Jackson’s eyes again. “I suppose that whatever I had said, it would have sounded lame to you…”
“You know, before you were judging my choice to have casual sex but the truth is that you’ve been looking at me on that train for months and you didn’t know anything about me. So, it’s easy to figure out that you want me and might have undressed me in your mind quite a few times…”
Stiles closes his eyes for a moment before opening them again, finding that smirk on Jackson’s face again. “Is embarrassing people one of your hobbies? Because man, you’re doing a great job right now…”
Jackson snorts. “Not really.” It's true that it’s not something that he usually does but then again, he doesn’t usually find himself having this sort of conversation in an Italian restaurant. There’s something about Stiles that makes him want to see his reaction… and he can’t deny that it’s been fun to make him blush like that. The words cute and hot rarely come together to describe someone but that’s the only way he could describe Stiles right now.
“What would you say if I told you that tonight I’m ready to go home with you and let you confirm if your imagination was right or not?”
Stiles is speechless for a moment and looks away. He looks at the people in the tables not too far from them and licks his lips. He’s supposed to be a grown-up and he’s supposed to be ready to answer any kind of question that comes his way but Jackson has the quality of making him nervous and doubt himself more than any other person has before, which is saying a lot but it’s isn’t at the same time since the weird thing would be that he didn’t have doubts and got nervous.
“Well, I’d say ‘thank you’ because I’m a very polite person”, Stiles finally says, looking at Jackson.
Jackson snorts but waits for what is coming next.
“I’d say that I appreciate the very kind and very selfish proposal but no thank you. Because the day that something happens between us, I don’t wanna be just one guy on your list.” Stiles shrugs. “Call me crazy but I want more than that. And because yeah,” Stiles nods, “when I saw you on the train I wanted to have sex with you, but now that I know you, that’s not at the top of my list anymore.”
“Oh yeah, and what’s at the top of your list?” Jackson gestures with one hand.
“I’d like… I’d like to do stuff with you but I’m not too picky. Maybe we could go to see a movie or to the theatre… I don’t know what you’d like to do. What’s your plan on Christmas Day?”
“Christmas Day?” Jackson raises his eyebrows.
“Yeah... Next Saturday.” Stiles gestures with his hand. “You must have some plan, right?”
“Sure. There’s stuff I have to do…” Jackson doesn’t even try to sound convincing which only suggests to Stiles that he hasn’t even thought about it.
“And that is?”
Jackson takes a few seconds to think before replying. “Well, for starters, sleep far more than I usually do.” Jackson finally offers.
“Have some breakfast—”
“Yeah, breakfast is important,” Stiles interrupts him, smiling.
“Then,” Jackson says dismissing Stiles’ comment. “Facetime with my parents.”
“Of course, your parents are important too,” Stiles’ irony is mixed with something else that makes Jackson smile for a second despite himself.
“After that,” Jackson continues, “hit the gym—”
“Seriously?” Stiles frowns.
“Very-seriously,” Jackson nods, stressing both words.
“Who goes to the gym on Christmas Day? And what for?” Stiles furrows his brow. “Is it even open?”
“Lots of people go because yeah, at least mine is open and I doubt it’s the only one. And you know, I like it. And I need to be in good shape, so there’s that too, you know...”
“You’re already in good shape… I think nobody will notice if you skip it for a day.”
“Yeah, remember when I said that I like it?” Jackson’s sarcasm all over his words.
“Yeah, I don’t believe you.” Stiles shakes his head. “Nobody likes to sweat and suffer, surrounded by other people undergoing the same agony. That goes against human nature.”
Jackson rolls his eyes. “I had almost forgotten how you exaggerate everything.” Jackson shrugs.
“I get that you don’t go to the gym very often…” Jackson offers.
“Well, I swim… When I can, that’s what I do.”
“No sweating, right?” Jackson raises his eyebrows, smiling.
“Exactly,” Stiles nods. “I see that you get it.”
“Yeah, your mind is a fascinating place.”
Stiles licks lips, staring at Jackson once again.
Jackson has never had a problem with the way most people look at him. He’s used to it, but he’s starting to realize that when Stiles looks at him, he feels somewhat uncomfortable and it’s not because he dislikes it, it’s because he has no idea about what is going through Stiles’ mind. It feels like he’s looking for answers to some of those questions he’s not made yet.
(Only 1 chapter left -same scene-)