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“About this thing that you do that cannot be mentioned… did you always know that you wanted to do it? I’ve always wondered if there’s some kind of call for that,” Stiles admits. “Or you just wake up one day and you say, risking my life for a living sounds good.”
“When you put it like that, what I do doesn't sound too different from a firefighter or a policeman, you know? Maybe you should ask your father, don’t you think?”
“Come on, you know what I mean,” Stiles insists. “And for my dad, of course, I know he couldn’t see himself doing anything else. That’s what he always wanted to do.” Stiles says, waving both arms. “Is that what happened to you?”
Jackson snorts, shaking his head. “No, I have two years of law school under my belt. I thought my future was being a lawyer. Somehow I convinced myself it was a way to make money and help people at the same time… and of course, my parents totally loved the idea. Not to mention that Kane, my best friend at the time, was also at college with me…”
“So what happened?”
Jackson snorts once more. “What happened is that I got terribly bored, I guess. My marks were decent but I wasn’t brilliant… and I was supposed to be brilliant,” Jackson says matter-of-factly. “Hard as I tried, I couldn’t find the motivation to achieve what I was supposed to achieve. So, I lost interest and after my second year, I left and never came back.”
“Wow, that had to be hard,” Stiles offers obviously surprised.
“Yeah, it was,” Jackson nods, absolutely serious.
“And what did you do?” Stiles asks warily, biting his lip.
“Well, I was a mess. My parents didn’t get it, my best friend didn’t get it and even I didn’t totally get it. Because I knew I could actually finish it, and pass the bar and find a job… but also, in the back of my mind, I knew I couldn’t go on if I didn’t have a passion for it, you know… but for a while there I really thought I was stupid for not seeing it sooner… for wasting two fucking years of my life before I saw it. And I thought something was wrong with me… some people would call it a crisis, I suppose…” Jackson shrugs. “In the end, I left… stayed in France for a while… then I was backpacking through Europe… and decided to study economics and most probably start my own business in the future.”
“But that’s not what happened…” Stiles shakes his head.
“No... My boss… he changed all that. Somehow he trusted me, he recruited me and I realized this is what I was supposed to do.”
“You found your destiny,” Stiles declares. “Wow… that’s so cool.”
Jackson smiles. “I guess, it’s cool, yeah.”
“What about you? Is your call being a journalist?”
“I think so, yeah.” Stiles nods. “When I was a teenager, I thought I wanted to be a writer…”
“Really? Jackson raises his eyebrows.
“Yep. I have a lot of imagination in case you haven’t noticed—”
“Oh, I’ve noticed,” Jackson smirks.
“But writing is not a career… you have to be lucky to actually make money with it.”
“So, you just forgot about it?” Jackson furrows his brow.
“As employment? Yeah, I did… but I still, I write… just a hobby… plus, it’s not like I have a lot of free time… and anyway, I love my job… I don’t write fiction but I write about things that matter—our reality— and that’s important… Hopefully, I make a difference showing what’s going on out there and you know, every day is different and I never get bored. I guess not many people get to say that… although of course, you’re not one of those.”
Jackson gets that and he believes him, but something tells that probably those are all things that help him cope with the fact that he’s not doing what would have been his first choice.
“I mean,” Stiles continues, “unless, you got so used to traveling and kicking strangers who follow you…” Stiles gestures with his hand. “In that case, maybe you should have become a lawyer after all.”
“God, no,” Jackson smiles, shaking his head. “I wouldn’t change what I do for anything. And you know, if I hadn’t kicked you, we wouldn’t be here right now…”
“That’s most probably true,” Stiles smirks.
“It is,” Jackson bites his lip. “And believe me, I’ve told you stuff that…” Jackson snorts, smiling, “few people know about me.”
And that is honesty right there. It’s true he’s not been on a date in a long time but still, now that he thinks about it, he can’t remember a date where he talked as much about himself as he has tonight. Obviously, there’s something about this guy that makes it easy to talk and just be himself in a way that doesn’t really come natural to him. Thank god Lydia won’t find out what they talked about because if she did, she would be teasing him about it endlessly.
“Well, I hope that means that you wanna see me again… even if I’m only really good at English and I’ve asked more questions that you probably wanted in your lifetime.”
Jackson drinks some more wine and licks his lips. “Yeah, but I’ll just text you next time. I hope it’s not too disappointing.”
Stiles smiles. “I admit it. I could get used to your fingers sliding inside my pocket, but I think I can deal with it. And you know, since it’s been established that your so called-plan for Christmas Day absolutely sucks, I think you should come over to my place and have lunch with my father and me. I’ll be cooking, not him, so it’s safe to say that you won’t die of starvation.”
“Wait—Your father and you?” Jackson raises his eyebrows.
“Yeah, he’s coming to visit for a few days. But don’t worry, if it bothers you that he knows that we are… you know…” Stiles waves his arms.
“Dating?” Jackson tries hard not to smirk. Stiles can be really ridiculous.
“Yeah. If that bothers you, you can come as a friend. I’m not trying to con you into anything… it’s just Christmas lunch… between friends. Well, family and friends… two friends.” Stiles closes his eyes for a moment, waving his arms. “You know what I mean.”
“I don’t think that me meeting your father is the best idea you’ve ever had… especially after just one date.”
“On the contrary, everybody likes my father. There’s even the risk that you could like him more than me…” Stiles smiles. “And hell, I just don’t want you to be alone. Besides, I’m sure anything is better than whatever you are going to eat at home after working out like a maniac.”
Jackson rolls his eyes dramatically but finally nods. “Fine. Whatever. I’ll go… but don’t do that. Don’t lie to him. As I said before, what’s the point of lying?” It feels stupid to do that. If the father is half as smart as Stiles is, he will see the way his son looks at Jackson and will know the truth anyway.
“Okay. I won’t.” Stiles shakes his head.
“So, are you gonna order any dessert or what? They are pretty good at this place.”
“Are you kidding? I never say no to dessert… especially cake… chocolate cake or apple cake… any cake, really...”
The way Stiles’ face illuminates at the idea of cake is too cute… maybe even beautiful. Jackson can’t help but grin. Somehow Stiles’ eagerness is contagious and he wants some cake too… and the thing is he never has cake. Too many calories.
“Cake, it is,” Jackson says nonchalantly, looking around to find a waiter.