Chapter Text
✪ Sylvain (gotgautier) followed you!
—
SYLVAIN: heya ingrid
SYLVAIN: remember me?
INGRID: Sylvain?
SYLVAIN: no actually its felix. ive decided to reach out to former friends of my own desire and volition
SYLVAIN: yes its sylvain
INGRID: Sylvain! :)
SYLVAIN: aw a smiley face just for me this is unexpected
INGRID: It’s been, let’s see, five years? I can’t believe you found me on here!
SYLVAIN: wasnt too hard i just typed in ingrid and sorted through until i found the face most likely to slap me
INGRID: You slap a guy one time...
SYLVAIN: i was feeling nostalgic
SYLVAIN: nice glow up btw
INGRID: You haven’t changed a bit.
SYLVAIN: thats probably less of a compliment than youre intending but thank you
INGRID: No, no! Full compliments! It’s good to hear from you!
SYLVAIN: yeah same same
SYLVAIN: im glad youre doing well
SYLVAIN: girlfriends cute
INGRID: Oh, haha. Yeah, she was pretty cute.
INGRID: We actually just broke up.
SYLVAIN: oh fuck
SYLVAIN: sorry
INGRID: No, it’s okay! It’s fine. It was mutual.
INGRID: I guess maybe I should delete those pictures. :(
SYLVAIN: :(
INGRID: :(
SYLVAIN: hey you want to get drinks sometime
SYLVAIN: not as like a rebound thing as a friend thing
SYLVAIN: ive picked a poor time to bring this up in the conversation and i realize that
INGRID: You’re still in town?
SYLVAIN: mhmm
INGRID: I thought you were out of state for college?
SYLVAIN: thats the thing about college you usually leave at some point
INGRID: And come back?
SYLVAIN: if youre a dumbass (im a dumbass)
INGRID: Hah. Sure, we can meet up.
SYLVAIN: cool
SYLVAIN: sorry its kind of out of the blue
INGRID: What made you reach out?
SYLVAIN: oh uh
SYLVAIN: you got mentioned in a podcast i was listening to
INGRID: I was?
SYLVAIN: a girl i was seeing wanted to listen to this black widow podcast together? so i did right
SYLVAIN: boom. third episode. dimitris evil stepmummy
SYLVAIN: really ruined the sexy dominant lady mood i was trying to cultivate ngl
SYLVAIN: but they were talking about glenn and you got brought up and i was like
SYLVAIN: fuck. this fucking sucks. i miss ingrid
INGRID: I see.
SYLVAIN: yeah sorry speaking of mood ruiners
INGRID: It’s fine. It should be. I think we’re all more or less over it by now, right?
INGRID: Or at least semi-functioning members of society.
SYLVAIN: speak for yourself i am a proudly unfunctioning member of society
INGRID: I’m going to be real with you, Sylvain. You are doing a lot better than I thought you would be.
SYLVAIN: oh no am i being instastalked
INGRID: Indeed. Is this a job I see? Do you have a job, Mr. Gautier?
SYLVAIN: dont let this get out ingrid im serious i have a cultivated useless fuckboy rep i have to uphold
INGRID: I'm so proud of you!
SYLVAIN: im working for my dad lets not get hysterical
INGRID: I thought for sure you’d be absolutely quelled to dust via a woman by now.
SYLVAIN: quelled
INGRID: Quelled!
SYLVAIN: i mean thats a steady bet i guess
SYLVAIN: things were looking p rough for a bit there
INGRID: Rough was an understatement. For all of us.
SYLVAIN: well we aint dead yet
—
To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: what up
felix. oh my god. you are the toughest motherfucker to track down in the history of difficult to chew motherfuckers. i cant believe im having to type this email to your goddamn middle school email because you absolutely do not exist in any social media platform known to man. who are you? where are you? are you only on goddamn pinterest? i bet youre only on goddamn pinterest. i havent looked on pinterest but i know youre SOMEWHERE outside this email address. and i will find you. i will. i swear to god.
if for some ungodly reason you a) still have the password to this email and b) for some equally ungodly reason still check it, me and ingrid are meeting up for drinks on the twelfth @ 8pm @ anna’s pub. you should come. we both miss you. recently single ingrid said she misses you a lot even. so. you know. ;)
message me back man
sylvain
—
To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: re: what up
no thanks.
felix
—
To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: re: re: what up
holy shit youre alive. youre alive and you still use this email.
sylvain
—
To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: Felix!
Felix! It’s Ingrid. I’m so happy Sylvain and I managed to track you down!
How are you? Well, I hope? I’m sure Sylvain did an absolutely terrible job trying to sell a childhood friend reunion to you. You should join us!
Even if you don’t, though, I’d love to hear from you. Sylvain keeps giving me live updates of his empty inbox. I’m getting the feeling he wants to hear from you, too.
All the best,
Ingrid
—
To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: re: Felix!
hey.
listen i’m not really one for sentimental reunions. simple as that. i’m off freelancing out of the country for two months anyway.
i hope you’re well.
felix
—
To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: re: re: Felix!
I’m doing well, yes! I’m here with Sylvain right now and we miss you! (See attached picture.)
When you get back into the country please feel free to reach out. Or whenever! We’re around.
All the best,
Ingrid
—
INGRID: It was good to see you, Sylvain!
INGRID: Even if I did see more of you than anticipated.
INGRID: Let’s keep in touch, okay? Don’t be a stranger! :)
—
INGRID: We should grab drinks this weekend!
INGRID: If you’re around?
—
INGRID: Sylvain?
—
INGRID: So that’s it, huh.
INGRID: I guess you got what you wanted.
—
SYLVAIN: hey
SYLVAIN: so its been a hot second
SYLVAIN: obviously
SYLVAIN: i didnt want this to happen
SYLVAIN: i hope you dont think that i
SYLVAIN: like
SYLVAIN: wanted to see you just to hook up and then drop communication down a well for another five years
SYLVAIN: and i know thats what it looks like
SYLVAIN: i know that
SYLVAIN: but eight months is objectively better than five years
SYLVAIN: so you can yell at me now
SYLVAIN: okay
SYLVAIN: now
SYLVAIN: ingrid please yell at me
INGRID: I have a boyfriend now.
SYLVAIN: oh hey hello
SYLVAIN: this isnt a come on i probably should have specified that up top
SYLVAIN: and i hate being the kind of person that has to specify that up top
SYLVAIN: its just
SYLVAIN: i didnt know what else to say after we slept with each other which is why i went radio silent
INGRID: An acknowledgement of my existence would have been enough.
SYLVAIN: i dont have an excuse the whole thing just made me feel
SYLVAIN: sad
SYLVAIN: okay so i do have an excuse but not a good one. being with you reopened a whole bunch of shitty feelings i thought i was over and the honest truth is that i couldnt handle it
SYLVAIN: i didnt want to handle it
SYLVAIN: so i ditched out
SYLVAIN: wow this is such a bad pitch for the fact that i want to hang out again huh
INGRID: It is.
SYLVAIN: im sorry ingrid
SYLVAIN: you deserved better than that
INGRID: It's fine. Like I said. Boyfriend.
SYLVAIN: im not here to booty call i promise
INGRID: What are you here for, then?
SYLVAIN: i mean
SYLVAIN: you saw that new netflix doc
SYLVAIN: american regicide or w/e
SYLVAIN: what a shitty title
INGRID: No, I haven't seen it.
INGRID: They contacted me for an interview and I turned them down.
SYLVAIN: oh hey same
SYLVAIN: dunno why they even bothered i was pretty tangential to the whole thing
SYLVAIN: and obviously dimitri very publicly wanted nothing to do with them so why would i
INGRID: Thank you.
SYLVAIN: no you dont have to say that i wasnt like fishing for clout or anything
INGRID: I know you weren't.
SYLVAIN: you think hes doing ok
SYLVAIN: its kind of all over social media
INGRID: I’m sure he’s not thrilled to have the death of his family be a global talking point. Again.
SYLVAIN: so both of us said no
SYLVAIN: i bet they couldnt even find felix to ask him haha
INGRID: Is there something you wanted, Sylvain?
SYLVAIN: i just wanted to see if you saw the thing
SYLVAIN: also
SYLVAIN: do you want to see each other again?
SYLVAIN: if i promise to not sleep with you
SYLVAIN: and also not ditch out afterwards if i do sleep with you
SYLVAIN: god. the bad pitches are coming out in full force tonight
INGRID: Are you drunk? You sound drunk.
SYLVAIN: im not drunk
SYLVAIN: i just hate what happened to us and i want to exchange numbers
SYLVAIN: collective us i e our friends group
SYLVAIN: i cannot stress enough that this is not a come on
—
dimitri. it's felix.
Felix? That's a surprise.
How did you get my number?
i messaged my father.
Wow. This must be important. What can I do for you?
drop the regal act, your highness. you saw it. didn’t you.
And what is it that I've seen?
the trashy netflix doc. we’re not about to do some pathetic dance around it. i won’t put either of us through that torture.
hello?
answer me, boar.
I did.
you did?
I watched it.
fuck.
you fucking idiot.
are you insane? why the hell would you do that?
I can do as I please.
Or did you somehow forget that I’m the tragic, reclusive, unstable heir to a Fortune 500 company, Felix? The documentary painted quite the picture.
what is this. are we cracking jokes? if you’re trying to crack jokes i’ll go ahead and walk out of this conversation right now.
You texted me.
fuck off.
why would you do that to yourself.
Would you like the truth?
if you can muster it.
I wanted to know who spoke.
I should thank you for your silence, by the way. It’s a story that was going to be told regardless of my involvement, and maybe it did deserve to be told, but there was some peace in not seeing your face pop up in all those familiar talking heads.
i can’t believe you’d be stupid enough to watch such sensational garbage.
actually i can. you would be that stupid.
Thank you for your concern, Felix. It means a lot.
dumbass.
You misjudge me.
I knew that most anyone that was even on the peripheral of the event would grab ahold of their chance in the spotlight. I watched it alone. I expected to be furious.
But at the end I couldn’t help but sit there and laugh to myself.
Even after all these years. Even after I pushed all of you away and worse. You, Ingrid, Sylvain, Dedue.
You turned them down.
they didn’t contact me for an interview. let’s not get caught up in perceived loyalty.
You know what I think, Felix?
I think that’s a lie.
I think the closest friend of the lone survivor and younger brother of one of the slaughtered would be a prime target for an interview. No matter the undertaken hassle to track such a subject down.
I can’t imagine what they offered you for your thoughts.
not enough. clearly.
Thank you.
it wasn't for you.
It's been a second since you've come by, hasn't it? Would you like to get dinner soon?
i just texted you to make sure your princely veneer was still in place and you hadn’t fallen off the deep end again.
looks like i shouldn’t have bothered.
Always soothing to know you care.
goodbye, dimitri.
Should I expect you to show up unannounced on my doorstep again soon?
don't text me.
Alright. Send my regards to your father.
—
Hello.
Dedue! It’s good to hear from you.
Same to you.
How is the humanitarian life treating you?
They aren’t working you too hard, are they? I know you’re not one to turn down another’s request for aid.
Ah! You’ll never guess who texted me last week. Felix, of all people. He had to get my number from his father and everything.
Dedue?
Is everything alright?
Is this about that horrid documentary? It was so difficult to relive the slander you and your family suffered through even with the truth’s retrospect. I am so eternally sorry.
Friend?
What's wrong? How can I help you?
What's happened?
Nothing.
Everything is excellent.
Oh, good!
You’re being awfully quiet. Or maybe I’m just typing fast?
I must stop typing so fast.
I would be lying if I said I was not excited to talk with you. It has been far too long.
I have something to tell you. And a favor to ask.
My apologies. I’m having difficulty expressing it.
Anything. I owe you so much. You were the only one that wasn’t entirely consumed and spat out in the depths of my
Never mind.
Please. What can I do for you?
Dedue? Are you in trouble? Has something gone wrong? Is Mercedes alright?
Say the word and I’ll smash anything or anyone that stands in your path. I swear.
Anything.
I have an announcement.
Mercedes and I are engaged.
Ah.
That is
Much better news than I was expecting.
Congratulations, my friend!
Thank you.
This is cause for celebration! We must meet up when you get back into town.
You said you had a favor as well? What can I do for you two?
That is the bit I am having trouble expressing.
Please, do not feel pressured to agree. You are under no obligation.
Come now. You’ve more than done your time as my friend. Anything.
Dimitri.
Will you be my best man?
—
To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: wingman request
hey man you going to this wedding? we should totally go together. lotsa eager chicks at weddings dude. who knows what will happen
message me back this time
sylvain
—
To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: re: wingman request
dude
please
sylvain
—
To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: re: re: wingman request
felix you fucker answer me for once
sylvain
—
hi felixs dad this is sylvain
do you have felixs number
You know you don’t have to call me Felix’s Dad anymore. We’re both adults now.
sorry sir youre felixs dad forever to me its in the brain folds
the permanent ones
The permanent ones and everything, you say? An honor.
so can i have his number
What’s the occasion?
i wanna be friends again
Really, now.
yeah
also im going to bully him into going with me to the mercedue wedding
deduedes
mercededues?
you know
the wedding
I am in support of this venture.
idk why but i just knew you would be
—
Hello, Dedue. Thisis Ingrid.
This is Ingrid, I mean.
Typo.
Hello, Ingrid.
Hi.
It has been a while.
It has!
Which is why I wanted to let you know right off the bat here, short and sweet, that you don’t have to do this.
You don’t have to invite me.
I’m really flattered. These are beautiful and frankly expensive-looking invitations. And I would love to come and support you and Mercedes on what I’m sure will be one of the greatest days of your lives.
But because it is such an important day I want to make sure that you know that you don’t have to feel obligated to invite me.
I said such terrible things to you.
And I completely understand why you wouldn’t want me there.
I would not have invited you if you were not welcome.
You can trust me on this.
That is fair but I also know that you are reasonable and polite enough to invite me even though I was so
Desperate for easy answers.
I know. We have had this discussion before.
Unless you feel things are unresolved?
No. I want us to be at peace.
But I also want you and Mercedes to have the best day imaginable.
So if I am in any way inhibiting that I will sit things out. No worries. No problem. No comment. I promise.
You should come. I want you to come.
Dimitri will be there. Sylvain is coming.
Felix has… received an invitation.
And there will be plenty of food. Enough for everyone.
That's generous.
Too generous.
There will be a lot of food, Ingrid.
I'm sure it will be lovely.
I do not know what we will do with all this food.
Now you’re just bribing me.
Maybe so.
—
hey.
Hello, Felix.
i'm in town.
Welcome home.
i think i should come over.
Surely. Let’s have dinner one night this week, hm?
i think i should come over now.
Oh.
yes.
Alright then.
Thank you for the forewarning this time.
You're always welcome here.
