Chapter Text
There were always certain problems and nuisances that stood in the way for Saiki Kusuo. The best he could do was avoid them and pull his annoyed face if he wanted them to back off. But Saiki had never encountered something on this scale before. Something so troublesome that even he couldn’t avoid.
You see, the problem began when the new transfer student arrived. Saiki gave a weary sigh at the thought – another inconvenient thorn in his side. Except, it wasn’t another inconvenience. Rather than inconvenient it was more convenient. This person was irrelevant. The only engaging thing was how she didn't pull the classic 'Offu!' when she saw Teruhashi for the first time.
At first, there was only one slight problem, or perhaps two or three. Saiki couldn’t use his powers on her. Nothing he did could try and penetrate the obvious barrier between him and her mind. It got to the point where he didn’t even see the pile of bones swinging about – just a teenage girl, in a teenage girl’s body. There was no personality to decipher, nothing wicked to see because he simply couldn’t. Sure, it irked him somewhat but as long as she stayed meaningless, he could avoid and ignore it.
It was all going swimmingly – until it wasn’t. There was something off about her, yet he couldn’t quite put his finger on it. Something strange. Saiki had seen his fair share of fake personalities, perverts and just plain weirdos like Nendou. But this girl was none of the above. He found it odd how she lurked in his presence. Quite suspiciously, he might add. Saiki began to theorise. Maybe, she had a crush on him. The common sense in him said he couldn’t assume off of that alone, though.
So, he observed her. Only for a few minutes. Saiki watched as she went about her school routine and then she returned to her desk. She took a slip of paper from underneath her desk and began to write vigorously. Oh no, oh no! He pinched the bridge of his nose in complete despair. From the wistful glint in her eye, Saiki understood exactly what was going on – she had written a love letter for him. She finished and edged it back underneath her table, leaving the classroom. It wouldn’t hurt to look, could it? For his entertainment, he decided to take a small peek, just a small tiny peak. The mind of a teenage girl was admittedly funny, even when they did have a crush on him.
Except it wasn’t a love letter at all. Instead, he was greeted with a giant bold header, dotted with stars which read:
THE EVIL OVERLORD LIST
Oh? Well, this had to be ironic of course. Saiki’s eyes dragged along the lines, his curiosity getting the better of him.
- Rob a bank
- Buy a lair in the side of a mountain with money from said bank
- Laugh evilly
- Sell bagged milk
This wasn’t what he expected at all. Especially for some evil overlord list. What kind of evil overlord sold bagged milk?
- Plant fake cockroaches on toilet roll
Now that was just cruel! There could be nothing worse than –
- Kill Saiki Kusuo
Saiki stopped reading from that point, slouching into his chair and drawling his sigh.
Good grief.
World domination always had spoken to her in some way or another. From the moment Yokota Sakami could understand true human nature – that being selfishness and vanity – she knew what her main values were: money and power. The whole ‘conquering the world’ concept sounded like a completely brilliant idea.
The problem was rocketing her epic project for the entire world to see. Brainstorming had led her to the fact that she couldn’t achieve world domination without doing some pretty questionable things. Nothing inherently evil per se (murder and all that jazz was out of the question) but just some illegal tactics. Though the title of being evil sounded cool, and who would argue with an overlord? Sakami, before she even had a plan, had a name for herself. The Evil Overlord.
Being struck by lightning was quite a major problem for her too. It was miraculous that she even survived such an event but what was even more miraculous was how she ended up in an ominous-looking lab, strapped to a chair. So, she had been captured or kidnapped. Either way, it didn’t sit well with her, but she had seen enough movies to know that screaming was going to get her beaten to shit.
Her captor opted to stay in the shadows and simply explain why she was there. Frankly, Sakami wasn’t impressed with his reasoning.
“You want me to assassinate some boy?” Sakami repeated in an amused sputter, wondering how small this person’s IQ must be to think that she of all people could kill. The thought of confronting a moth made her shudder, let alone another human.
“Not just some boy,” the other corrected her hastily, swirling a glass ball around his palm. “This boy, well, he’s… one of a kind. Let’s put it that way.”
“So? Does he have three nipples or something? I can’t just murder some random kid just because you tell me to. I have no reason to trust you – I mean, you kidnapped me for starters!” She reasoned, an uncomfortable feeling churning in her gut. Nothing would persuade her otherwise, unless this stupid boy would somehow interfere with her Overlord situation.
“Oh, well, I wouldn’t put it that way. It wasn’t a kidnapping… more of a coincidental meeting.” His tone was in no way assuring, nor convincing to Sakami. He continued, reaching over to his desk and putting down the glass ball. “Tell me, what do you want in life?”
Sakami told about her plans and values, to which the other seemed interested yet distant. “…but what does all of that got do to with the boy?”
“He’s one of a kind.”
“Really? Is that it? Just because he’s your special snowflake? That’s why you want him dead?” She pried on, simply wanting to be freed from wherever he was holding her hostage. A vexed sigh left the latter’s lips, and he walked into the dull light she sat him. Sakami observed his appearance, weary but yet, her captor looked nothing like a Yakuza boss. He had overgrown locks of blonde and a face of dismay.
“This boy – Saiki Kusuo – has abilities. Way beyond your mental capacity to understand. If you rise to world dominance this boy will get himself tangled up in it somehow, believe me, I’ve had my fair share of dealing with him… he will most likely blow up your entire scheme and you’ll end up prematurely grey and licking someone’s shoes.” His voice turned dark, explaining with intimidating detail about what would happen to her. The concept of her failing had never exactly crossed her mind, and it somewhat terrified her to think about. “If you want to become this daft evil overlord, then commit yourself to my plan. Kill the boy and put your trust in me. You will succeed.”
That’s all she wanted. To succeed. To hold power, money, everything.
It took her a moment and then with a shaky sigh and a certain reluctance, Sakami gave in. “Fine. I’ll do it.”
The latter lit up, his grimace turning bright as he clapped his hands together in a child-like fashion. “Yay! Well, off you go then.” Much to her surprise, he unshackled her from the chair and stared expectantly. “Go on, what are you waiting for? You have a mission.”
“But – what? how? Where do I even find this Saido Kunio?” Sakami was honestly perplexed.
He brushed it off, waving a hand and pushing against her back, heaving her out from the lab. “Don’t you worry about that,” he gave a toothy smile. “Off you pop! I’ll have my correspondents reach out to you soon.”
Like that the door to the lab slammed shut, revealing the silver-lined ‘K’ carved into the wood. As confused as she was, Sakami had a mission. No one was going to get in the way, they simply couldn’t.
Not even this Saita Kumiko.