Chapter Text
“Maria, wake up. Wake up.” Carol gently shakes Maria.
“What? Huh? What happened?”
“We fell asleep,” Carol says. “Again.”
“No, I’m good. I was awake.”
“Oh, really? Then what happened in the last episode?”
“The boy … got pushed out the window.”
“That was the first episode! Which we watched yesterday, on our third try.”
Maria sighs.
“See? We fell asleep. I think this show is not for us. And we’re too old to watch so late at night.”
“Speak for yourself.”
Monica’s been trying to get them to watch Game of Thrones, and … it hasn’t been going well.
“How long were we asleep?” Maria asks.
“We started on Episode 2 and it’s on Episode 9 now. We slept all night.”
Suddenly Carol starts laughing.
“What’s so funny?”
She pulls out her iPhone and points it at Maria. “I just noticed your hair. I have to email a picture to Monica.”
“My hair? I wasn’t ready to fall asleep! You should see your hair!”
They both have terrible hair.
“Don’t you dare, Danvers.”
Carol smirks. “Try to stop me.”
They wrestle on the bed for the phone, until Carol finally snaps a selfie of both of them, their hair now even worse, sticking her tongue out in it for good measure. She holds the phone away from Maria and quickly types. “Sent!”
“Nooo!”
Carol kisses Maria, stands up, and goes to the bathroom on their small ship.
“Where do you think you’re going? Come back to bed.”
“It’s morning. And we have a busy day today.” She starts brushing her teeth.
Her phone buzzes on the bed.
“Is that Monica? What’d she say?”
“One word. Dorks.”
Year 1
It’s a month later and Carol is sitting on a different bed, in a much bigger room, staring at the photo on her phone.
“Let me buy you a drink? There’s a bar a few minutes away.”
Carol pockets the phone, but doesn’t look up. “Isn’t there plenty to drink here?”
“Yeah,” Rhodey says, “but then we’d be here.”
She looks at him, standing in the doorway to the room she’s been staying in. She’d thought no one else was there and, stupidly, left the door open. “You’re buying?”
“Yep.”
“I don’t drink alcohol.”
“We’ll go to a coffee shop, then.”
It’s been four days since they found out that Thanos had destroyed the stones, four days since they found out there was nothing they could do to bring everyone back. Carol wanted to leave, but Rogers and Romanoff asked her to stay for a bit, so they could figure a way for them to all communicate when Carol was in deep space. Clearly, the pager was an outdated and too slow way to reach her. She showed them the way she set her phone up so that she could communicate with someone on Earth. She hadn’t told them who, and no one had asked. They were working on recreating it.
She hates it here. She stays in the room they gave her as much as she can, doesn’t really talk to anyone.
She’d hate it in space, too, she knows. At least a coffee shop was neither of those places.
“I’m not going to sleep with you.”
“I don’t want to sleep with you.”
“I only like women.”
“Great, me too. Also, you’re married.”
Carol stands up. “Let’s go.”
The coffee shop was probably once a livelier place, but now it, like the rest of the universe, is just sad.
“Look,” Rhodey says once they’re sitting down, “I’m sorry I was a dick.”
“I’ve heard worse.”
“Thank you for saving Tony.”
Carol nods.
“You want to talk about who you lost?”
“I’m here because of Fury.”
“Sure, and he’s an OK guy, but I don’t think it’s a picture of him you’re always staring at on your phone.”
In truth, she is still furious with Fury. She’d told him to keep the Tesseract safe, and instead he made weapons with it. She wanted to end wars and he’d handed it over to people who would start wars with it. He’d paged her, after waiting too long, when aliens invaded New York. By the time she got there, the crisis had already been averted, and they’d had a huge fight. He hadn’t contacted her again until now.
They drink silently for a bit. The coffee is not great, but at least they’re out of that building.
Carol keeps telling herself that she doesn’t want to talk, but eventually, her curiosity wins out. “How’d you know I’m married?”
“The other day, when you came into the kitchen for coffee, your necklace was outside of your shirt. Two wedding bands.”
It’s not a necklace. It’s Maria’s dog tags, which she’s worn for a long time, with their two rings on it. Carol resists the urge to touch it under her shirt.
He points to her right hand. “And you’ve got that on the other hand and facing the other way, but I can tell that’s an engagement ring.”
Carol does touch that ring now, the one she worked so hard to get, turning it around so the stones are facing out. A few years ago, Maria accidentally scratched her face while she was sleeping, so she took her rings off when she went to bed. Carol was grateful she did, so that she could wear them now. Everything on a person seemed to disappear into dust with the Snap.
“The woman who gave it to you,” Rhodey says, “she get dusted?”
Carol doesn’t respond.
“You don’t have to talk about it, if you don’t want to. Especially not to me. But,” he says, carefully, “sometimes talking about things helps.”
“I gave it to her, to Maria,” Carol finally says, her voice low. “And yes.”
Carol’s not sure why she tells him. She thought she hadn’t wanted to tell anyone. Maybe because he’s the first person to actually ask her what she lost, not just what she can do?
“We were asleep. At least I hope we were both asleep. I woke up covered in dust.” In their bed, on her clothes, on her face, in her hair, in her mouth.
“Jesus,” Rhodey says.
Literally asleep while the universe fell apart.
“Our daughter, too. Monica. She was here, on Earth. She was on a plane.”
Rhodey raises his eyebrows and Carol shakes her head.
“No, not one of those ones that crashed. She was there when it took off. Not when it landed. I couldn’t even figure out where she was at first.”
“That’s rough. I’m sorry.”
And Talos. And Soren. And Wulin. And almost everyone she knows.
Carol shrugs. “How about you?”
“There’s a woman, Julia. We hadn’t been dating long, but…” He trails off. “Can I see pictures … please?”
Carol pulls the phone out of her pocket. She clicks to an album she’s made of her absolute favorites and slides it across the table. It’s about two dozen photos, from throughout the years, going all the way back to before Monica was born. The most recent her silly selfie with Maria. Carol loved that photo, even before it became their last photo together.
He laughs when he gets to that one, the last in the album.
“I’m not supposed to show that one to anyone else. She’d be so mad at me.”
“I saw nothing.” He hands the phone back to her. “Beautiful family.”
Carol stares at the photo for a moment. “Thanks.” She puts the phone back in her pocket. “You got pictures of her?”
Rhodey hands her his phone, a photo of them hiking together.
“She’s pretty."
“If you want to talk about them, you can.”
“Thanks,” Carol says, surprised that she actually does mean it. “Maybe not today.”
“I understand.”
“You too.”
“Thanks. Maybe not today.”
“Yeah.”
Carol’s phone rings the next day. She considers not answering it—you’d be surprised at how many telemarketers could still get through to her—but for some reason, she decides to pick it up. Literally everyone she knows has been snapped or is in this building with her, but it can’t hurt to answer she figures.
“Mrs. Rambeau? Hi, this is Jennifer, Eugene’s mother. Monica’s boyfriend?”
Monica had been dating a guy for a little while, but Carol hadn’t met him yet. Maria had at least talked to him on a video chat, and liked him, but introducing him to Carol, who looks younger than Monica at this point, was a whole different thing. She hadn’t met any of Monica’s boyfriends since high school. She hadn’t been serious enough with anyone to warrant the discussion.
Eugene and Monica had been together on the plane when the Snap happened.
“Hi, it’s just Carol. Carol’s fine.”
“Hi, Carol. I’m so sorry to bother you. I know you must be so busy.”
Monica told people that she and Maria worked for the government, for the State Department, and were always stationed overseas.
“No, it’s fine. I can talk.”
“I just … Hugh and I just wanted to see how you and Maria are doing? I went through Eugene’s things and found your numbers on his computer.”
“Maria … I … I haven’t … reported her missing.”
“Oh my God. Carol, oh God. I’m so sorry.”
“It’s OK. It’s OK.”
“I’m sorry this is how we had to meet. We love Monica—”
“Yeah. I’m sorry, too,” Carol says, cutting her off. She really doesn’t want to talk about Monica.
“So, about their apartment. Is it all right if I pack up Monica’s stuff and send it to you? I’m sure you won’t be able to get back here for awhile?”
Carol doesn’t respond. She didn’t know they were living together, that things were more serious than she thought.
“You didn’t know they’d moved into together. Sorry. It was only for the past month or so.”
“No, no, it’s fine. I just…” Carol pauses, trying to think of something. “I really hadn’t even thought about cleaning up her stuff, to be honest.” That’s actually very true.
“I know. It’s just that the landlord has been calling me and saying he needs the apartment. I don’t know who he thinks is going to move in there.”
Carol’s about to say she’ll threaten him, before remembering who she’s talking to. “If you wouldn’t mind packing up her things, then yes, please. But I can send someone, or I can pay you—”
“No, no, no. Of course not. I’ll take care of it and send it to your house in Louisiana?”
“Yes, please. At least let me cover the shipping.”
“It’s fine. Please let me do this. Do something.”
Carol knows what it’s like to feel helpless. “Thank you."
“Carol…” Jennifer hesitates and Carol can tell she’s not sure she should say whatever it is she wants to say. “Do you think this is permanent? Do you know anything? I mean… the Avengers must be trying to fix this, right? I heard Tony Stark is doing better.”
Their visit with Thanos is still fresh in Carol’s mind, probably will be for all eternity. Had she really thought they would just undo this so simply? “Jennifer… I have a friend who works with the Avengers. Please don’t say anything yet to anyone. There’s nothing they can do. They tried. It didn’t work. Steve Rogers is going to announce it tomorrow.”
Jennifer starts sobbing.
“I’m sorry.”
Carol has to go to Louisiana. There’s no one there she knows anymore. Carol’s friend Connie, the old woman who worked at the library, passed away a long time ago. Maria’s parents both did as well in the past few years.
But she has to get the house taken care of. She pays someone new to clean it and look after it. She only goes as far as the garage to move Monica’s boxes in. She has to stay an extra night to talk to a lawyer about the mortgage payments, the bills, and selling their cars, but she won’t stay in the house.
They fell in love in California, but they found each other again and built their life in this house in Louisiana.
She takes Maria’s dog tags off, and adds the engagement ring to the chain. She stuffs them all in her inside jacket pocket. They stay there for the next three years.
She goes to a dive bar she’d been to a few times in the past and finds a woman to flirt with. She’s very out of practice, but they’re both sad and miserable. She gives her a fake name.
The woman lives nearby, so they leave together, and have sex in her apartment. For a few moments, Carol forgets.
But then she remembers.
This is worse than Hala. She knows what she’s missing this time.
If she has to come back to Earth, fine, but she hopes she never has to come back to Louisiana.
Year 2
It’s just the six of them one night—Carol, Natasha, Okoye, Nebula, Rocket, and Rhodey—talking and eating after wrapping a meeting. Usually, they had them by hologram, but they’d decided to have this one in person. Maybe because it’s Christmas, the second one since the Snap, though no one would admit it.
They’re the Avengers now. Apparently, Carol’s an Avenger.
Proposing so close to Christmas had been stupid, Carol decided last year. It just made this holiday even worse to go through.
A few phones buzz. It’s Tony, sending Natasha and Rhodey a few more pictures of his daughter. Nat throws them up on the big screen.
There’s food all over the kitchen and Tony in one picture, and a smirk on Morgan’s face. The baby, as babies do, brightens the room a bit. But not for Carol.
Carol’s the only one in the room with a kid. Carol’s the only one in the room who’s lost a kid.
“That kid is trouble,” Nat says, laughing.
Carol goes to the bathroom and vomits.
“You OK?” Okoye asks when she comes back.
“Lieutenant … Trouble … is what I call … called … my kid.”
“Oh, geez, Carol,” Nat says. “I’m sorry.”
Carol shakes her head. “You didn’t know.” She looks at the photo. She’s seen that smirk before. Shit, she wishes it’d been easier to take photos when Monica was little. “And you’re right. She is.”
“What’s with the new suit, Danvers? You needed a sash, too?”
“Give it a rest—” Rhodey says, but Carol interrupts him.
“My kid always thought it should have a sash. Found this old drawing.” Carol holds up a piece of notebook paper so Rocket can see Monica’s old drawing, which she found tucked inside a book on her ship a few weeks ago. “Any jokes you wanna share?”
“Uh, no. No. Looks nice.”
“Are you all done?” Nat says to the row of holograms in front of her. “Can we get started? There’s a lot to go over.”
Year 3
“I can’t believe you got me to read Harry Potter!” Rhodey’s laughing.
“It was good, right? I told you, not just for kids.”
“Yeah, it’s great.” He holds up a stack of six books. “I already got the rest of them.”
“Yes!!” Carol says to his hologram. It’s just the two of them chatting, as they do sometimes. Lately they’ve been swapping book and movie recommendations.
This time they are both eating—dinner for Carol and breakfast for Rhodey.
“How about you?”
“I tried watching The Martian. I really did. But the space stuff…”
“You’re no fun.” Rhodey groans.
“Hey, I’m plenty fun.”
“I’ve yet to see.” She gives him the finger and he laughs. “There are movies other than Star Wars, you know.”
“Not good ones. … How’s Earth?
“Still spinning. And space?”
“Big.” Carol sighs. “It’s Maria’s birthday.”
“Carol. I’m sorry. We didn’t have to talk today. I didn’t know.” When Carol doesn’t respond, he continues. “You wanna talk about her?”
Carol shakes her head. “No.”
Carol spends most of those first three years trying to forget.
She sleeps with a handful of women, maybe several handfuls.
Every time, it feels good in the moment. Every time, she feels even worse after.
How did Maria get through this all those years ago?
She had Monica. That’s what she always said.
What does Carol have?
She’s in New Asgard when her communicator buzzes. It’s Nebula.
She puts on a shirt and gets out of the bed before she answers.
“Carol, there’s some space junk spinning out of control and heading for Pol.”
Pol. Fuck.
She and Maria spent more than a few romantic weekends on the beach there.
“On my way.”
She looks at the Asgardian —Valkyrie — in bed, still asleep.
She doesn’t leave a note.
She doesn’t sleep with anyone again, not anymore.
Carol puts the chain with their rings and Maria’s dog tags back on and never takes it off again.
Year 4
“Can I help you?”
Carol’s been standing outside their old house in California for too long, she realizes now. She puts her hands up and shrugs at the man walking off the front porch.
“Sorry. Sorry. Lost in thought. Used to live here.”
“You must’ve been real small. We’ve lived here a long time.”
“Yeah. … I was a little kid.” Carol sighs. “OK, I’ll leave you. Sorry again.”
“Wait,” the man says, jogging down the driveway. “Are you M?”
Carol stops. “M?”
“From the height chart. In the kitchen doorframe.”
Oh. “Yeah. That’s me. Sorry we marked up your wall.”
“No, we loved it.” The man smiles broadly. “Oh, I wish my wife was here. She just went out to the store. Our little girl wouldn’t let us paint over it. She wanted to catch up to M. We all had guesses on what your name was.”
Carol smiles, genuinely enjoying this. “Let’s hear ‘em.”
“Mindy,” he says first, shaking his head. “But I know that’s not right.”
Carol laughs. “Indeed.”
“My wife thought Michelle.”
Carol shakes her head.
“My guess was Maria.”
“Close. That’s … my mom’s name.”
“I’ll take it.” The man pumps his fist. “So, would you mind telling me yours, please?”
“Of course. Monica.”
“Monica. Beautiful name. I’m Ed. I can’t wait to tell them I met you.”
Carol takes another long look at the house, then looks back at Ed. “Did you have a lot of problems with the kitchen sink?”
“For a little while, but we got it fixed eventually.” He laughs. “You remember a leaky sink?”
“My … mom complained about it a lot. She wanted the landlord to fix it, but he never did.”
He points back to the house. “Do you want to come in? Have a look around?”
Carol shakes her head. She hadn’t thought about going in. She’s not even sure how she ended up on this street. She’d come out to California to look at some planes at Nat’s request. “Oh. No, no. That’s fine. I was just passing by.”
“Did you … lose someone? Is that why you’re here?”
“No, no. Everyone’s fine. Had to be out here for work and wanted to see if it looked the way I remember it. And it looks better. You have a lovely home.”
“You came all this way. Please, come in.”
Carol puts a hand over her heart. “I truly appreciate it. And thank you for talking to me. But I do have to go.”
He pulls a business card out of his wallet. “If you change your mind, and want to stop in for some coffee, we would love to have you.”
“Thank you.” Carol takes it. “Uh, your family. Your wife, daughter. They all OK?” She’s almost afraid to ask, but she has to know.
“Yeah, we’re all fine. As fine as we can be.”
“Right. OK. Good. It was nice to meet you, Ed.” Carol starts to walk away, but turns back. She points to the house. “Thanks for taking care of it.”
“Thanks to your family for taking care of it first.”
“What are you doing back so soon?” Nat says, following Carol into the kitchen.
Carol had left Avengers Compound a few hours earlier after giving Nat the report on the planes. She’d intended to head right back to space, but changed her mind.
“The refrigerator was really sad. You gotta eat better.”
Carol starts unloading groceries from her knapsack and putting them away.
“Thanks, Mom.”
They both freeze.
“Ah. I always say the wrong things.”
Carol takes a deep breath. “It’s OK. You’re fine.” She looks at the groceries. “I guess this was a very mom thing to do.”
They both laugh, a little uneasily at first, but then more relaxed and real.
“It really was.”
Carol puts fish and chicken in the freezer. “Well, I stand by it.” She takes a box of instant mac and cheese out of a cabinet. “This is fine every once in awhile. But not as your only meal.”
“I have cereal too.”
“Froot Loops don’t count.”
Nat shrugs. “Not a good cook.”
Carol holds up a pair of steaks. “How about I make dinner tonight?”
“That’d be great.”
Year 5
The Avengers have Christmas together. Carol’s not sure how many it’s been since the Snap. Four or five. She doesn’t celebrate it if she’s alone.
But this year they try to make an effort. No gifts or anything, just the six of them having a meal and hanging out.
It’s actually kind of nice?
“And then Rocket’s running away screaming,” Carol says, barely able to get through the story she’s laughing so hard.
They’re all laughing, even Nebula is almost sort of laughing. OK, maybe not Rocket, but he started it, and she knows he’ll hit her back full force.
“And it was just his shadow!!” Carol doubles over, laughing so hard she’s crying.
Rocket’s also laughing, Carol realizes!
“Well, I am very intimidating,” he says.
They all laugh even harder.
For some reason, they start sharing their most embarrassing moments. Carol’s got a lot to choose from, but she goes with the time Evelyn found her topless in the kitchen, trying to get Maria to sing along to the radio, right after she came back from a morning run on their day off.
“So I’m totally topless, one arm around Maria, belting out Whitney Houston, and her mom walked out of the bathroom! I forgot she was staying with us.”
“You forgot she was there?” Okoye asks, disappointment in her voice.
“It was really hot and my clothes were so sweaty.” Carol shrugs. “The music was good. … I was young, stupid, and in love.”
“What was the song?” Rhodey wants to know.
Carol half-sings it, changing the words where appropriate. “How will I know if she really loves me. I say a prayer with every heartbeat. I fall in love whenever we meet…”
“You’re a pretty good singer, Danvers,” Nat says.
Carol shakes her head, smiling. “Nah, Maria was better.”
“How’d you propose?” Okoye asks.
“Oh yeah,” Nat says. “I bet it was good.”
“In space?” Rocket asks.
Nebula leans in. “Were you on fire?”
Carol covers her face. “You’re gonna make fun of me.”
“I’m gonna do it either way,” Rocket responds. “So you might as well tell us.”
“She was cleaning the kitchen, and I did it when she had her hands in a sink of dirty, soapy water.”
They all roll their eyes and laugh.
“I thought you were cooler,” Rhodey says and Carol swats him away.
“Are you,” Nat says, slowly and with a hint of disgust, “are you serious?”
“I’m sure she loved that,” Okoye says.
Carol laughs. “She still said yes.”
“Oh, come on.” Nebula is not impressed.
“That’s the lamest thing I ever heard,” Rocket says, pointing and laughing.
“At least I got someone to marry me.”
They all laugh.
“Ooooo. She got you.”
It’s been a long time since Carol sang, talked about Maria so easily, smiled so much, laughed so much.
It feels good. Really good.
She finds Rhodey the next morning in the kitchen, about to make coffee.
“Does the offer to talk about Maria and Monica still stand?”
“Absolutely.”
“Thanks. I’ll buy you breakfast?”
“Let’s go.”
They sit at the diner for hours, through breakfast and too many cups of coffee to count. Once Carol starts talking, she can’t stop.
“You know how many boxes I had to move to get this ring?”
“Auntie Carol always sleeps in Mommy’s bed with Mommy!”
“I’ll fly up there and meet you one day! And then she did.”
“She always watched me sleep. She thought I didn’t know, but I did. I’d pretend to be asleep a little longer.”
“The smartest kid. Her first word was book!”
“I wish you could’ve seen her fly a plane.”
“Bill Buckner … I broke a lamp that night. And woke up Monica. I can’t believe she didn’t break up with me.”
“And then suddenly I’m making salads for dinner, taking the kid to practice, and driving the speed limit, like a proper adult.”
Someone else should know how amazing Maria and Monica were.
When they get back, Nebula, Rocket, and Okoye have all left. Nat drags her and Rhodey out to a karaoke bar, inevitable once Carol revealed she could sing.
It’s empty, so the three of them can pretty much sing as much as they want.
Then a long dinner where they don’t talk about being Avengers, or who and what they’ve lost. They follow that with a poker game that Nat wins easily.
Carol has fun.
Carol has friends.
Is that OK?
She cries herself to sleep.
She leaves without saying goodbye to anyone.
She’s not going back to Earth ever again.
Carol wakes up on her ship one morning and sees herself in the mirror. Her hair looks just like it does in that photo with Maria. She grabs a knife and hacks off as much as she can.
Rocket makes fun of her on their hologram meeting a few days later. Nat calls her immediately after.
“Carol, are you all right?”
“I couldn’t look at it anymore.” She hangs up. Okoye and Rhodey try to call her, too, but she doesn’t answer. She looks in a mirror. She’d been avoiding doing so for the past several days.
OK, maybe they have a point.
She gets it fixed. It’s really short. She doesn’t have to worry about it matching that photo again.
Carol wonders one night, wildly, whether her parents got dusted.
She doesn’t even know if they were alive at the Snap, hadn’t looked them up in years, didn’t care to know. Doesn’t look them up now, either.
She hopes they were alive and they didn’t get dusted.
This life, this horrible life, post-Snap? It’s for the fuck-ups, Carol knows.
It’s torture.
“Grow up,” Carol snaps. “It’s not like we fucked.”
“That’d be easier to take,” Rhodey says. “At least we both would’ve gotten something out of it before you bailed.”
“Screw you.”
She hasn’t been taking Rhodey’s calls for weeks. Barely even speaks when anyone else calls her. She shows up on the holograms, hangs up the moment it feels like it might be done. Rhodey finally got her to pick up this time, saying it was an emergency. He laced into her the moment she answered.
“Fine. I get it. You got what you needed, right? Got to lay down your burdens on me. Now you don’t need any of us anymore.”
Carol doesn’t respond.
“Look, I’m going to talk to her about Barton today. You know, all those emails I’ve been sending you that you don’t reply to? I’m telling the rest of the team before I do. In case anyone wants to check in on her. Be her friend. Not that that’s your thing.”
Carol’s still silent.
“Well, this has been great. I guess we’ll talk again never?”
He moves to hang up.
“Wait.”
There’s a long silence where they just stare at each other.
Carol ends the call.
“Carol, will we see you here next month?”
Carol’s plan is to fly as far out into deep space as she can.
“Not likely.”
She’s never tested the limits of the universe before.
“You might not see me for a long time.”
Doesn’t know what will happen when she gets there.
“Good luck,” she says to Rhodey.
About telling Nat.
About everything.
She’s sitting on an asteroid, staring at that picture on her phone again.
She’s gotten to as far out as she’s gone in the universe before, so she’s taking a break before she keeps going.
One last look at Maria.
The picture of Monica asleep on Carol’s chest on Thanksgiving.
One last look at Monica.
She kisses the engagement ring. She worked so hard to get that ring, that life.
Her communicator buzzes.
But it’s not the Avengers channel.
She’s too far out for them to reach her anyway.
What’s happening?
She clicks it on.
Talos appears.
She must be farther out in the universe than she thought.
But if she’s going to have a hallucination, why can’t it be of Maria and Monica?
“Carol? Can you hear me? Carol?”
“Leave me alone.”
“Carol? It’s me.”
It’s a trick.
“Talos is dead. Just like everyone else. Whoever you are, you can stop simming him. I’m not going to fall for it.”
“Should I turn into a filing cabinet?”
Carol feels something inside. A feeling she hasn’t had in awhile.
“Talos?”
“That’s what I’m trying to tell you, Captain. It’s me. I don’t know what happened, but whatever it was, I think it’s un-happening.”
Carol starts to panic. She’s too far out. Can she even get back?
“Is Maria there?”
Talos shakes his head. “I haven’t seen her, but if I do, you’ll be the first to know.”
Where’s Maria? Where’s Monica? How is this even happening?
Carol shoves the phone and the rings back inside her suit and stands up. “Is your family OK?”
Talos nods. “Soren. Wulin. They’re all here.” Suddenly, his attention shifts to a monitor on his right.
“What is it?”
“Carol, I think something, something bad, is happening on Earth right now.”
Monica could be there.
Maria could be there.
The Avengers—her friends—are there.
Carol explodes and takes off.
“Help! I need some help over here!” Hope is crouched over Carol, who is facedown on top of a pile of rubble. “It’s the fire woman. The one who destroyed the ship. I think she might be dead.”
“I don’t think she can die.” Rocket runs over. “Danvers, come on. Wake up.” He shakes her. “How about a smile for me, sweetheart?”
“Stop that,” Okoye admonishes him, but his badgering seems to work. Carol groans and tries to push herself up.
“Hey, hey, slow down Danvers,” Hope says.
“Thanos,” Carol says, now able to push herself up onto her hands and knees.
Okoye crouches next to her. “It’s over, Carol. We won.”
“Really?”
“Yes.”
Carol stands up anyway, surveying the damage, though she can’t make much sense of it. The only things she can think are Thanos, Maria, and Monica.
“Everyone’s back?”
Okoye nods. “It seems so.”
Carol tries to use the communicator on her wrist, but it’s broken. She reaches for her phone, inside her suit, but that’s broken as well.
She sees Rhodey. Then Pepper. Then Tony. Oh, fuck.
She spots Nebula and then looks around. “Where’s Nat?” She asks. Okoye doesn’t know. “Rocket, where’s Nat?”
Rocket looks down and shakes his head. Oh, fuck.
She pulls the chain out of her suit. All three rings, and Maria’s dog tags, are there and in tact.
“Try somewhere they’d consider safe,” Bruce tells her.
“Good luck,” Okoye says. “Let us know when you find them.”
Carol holds out her phone. “I can’t.”
Bruce gives her his. They make sure Carol has all the numbers she needs and Carol does one last check that she’s not needed there right now. She’s not. She’ll come back to help with the cleanup, she says.
She starts where she’s always wanted to go when something bad happened. Their house in Louisiana. She can’t see any lights on, but it’s 4 a.m., so she hopes they're asleep.
She quietly turns the key in the lock. She never intended to come back here, but she always took the key with her, made sure the bills were paid.
The first floor is empty, completely untouched, so she heads upstairs.
There is a light on upstairs, in their bedroom. It faces the backyard, so she didn’t see it when she approached the house.
Monica and Maria are asleep on the bed, their communicators on their chests. It’s the most beautiful sight Carol’s ever seen.
She bites down the howl that threatens to escape from her, doesn’t want to wake them up, especially not that way.
She watches them for a few more minutes before going back downstairs. She checks in with Okoye and then collapses on the couch.
Maria’s face is the first thing Carol sees when she wakes up. She’s sitting on the floor, her head rested on the couch in front of Carol.
“Hi.” Carol’s too exhausted to move, barely has enough strength to talk.
“Hi.” Maria runs her hand through Carol’s hair. “Where’d all your hair go?”
“Long story. You like it?” Carol puts a hand on top of Maria’s.
“Yes. I love you.”
“Love you, too.”
“I’ve been listening to the news on the radio. Were you there?”
Carol nods.
“Are you OK?”
Carol shrugs. “Couldn’t call.”
“Everything’s broken. I saw.”
“Monica OK? You OK?”
“I don’t know, but we’re handling it. She’s asleep still. We were so worried about you.”
“Sorry.”
“Nothing to be sorry about, honey.” Maria’s got a wet washcloth in her hand. “Can I clean your face a bit?”
“Please.”
Carol’s truly not sure she’s not hallucinating. Maybe she did find the edge of the universe, and the last 24 hours have been all in her head, what happens when you get sucked into a black hole.
At least she got to see Maria and Monica again.
She can’t keep her eyes open and drifts back to sleep.