Chapter Text
"Hey! Where's Sheldon?"
Leonard looked up from his lunch tray as Raj and Howard took their seats across the table from him. "Amy packed their lunches and they're eating together in his office," he explained.
"Doesn't he realize he's only three days away from being permanently shackled to her? He should be out, enjoying the dying days of his bachelorhood," Howard said.
"He's probably grateful for whatever she brought so he doesn't have to eat here," Raj said, wrinkling his nose as he removed a browning piece of lettuce from his sandwich.
"Or, you know, Amy is giving him a sausage sandwich, if you know what I mean."
"Nah," Leonard said, "it's Sheldon."
Howard nodded. "Right. Amy will just have to make do with an empty bun."
"They're probably doing last-minute wedding planning," Raj suggested. "You have no idea what it takes to plan a wedding."
"And you do?" Howard asked.
Leonard snickered and then explained, "Probably not. Penny took tomorrow and Friday off to help Amy with all that stuff. I can't see Sheldon caring about centerpieces."
"Maybe." Howard paused and leaned forward. "You know, I ran into him this morning and he was . . ." He screwed up his face. "Well, I was going to say strange, but it's Sheldon so I'll just go with different."
"Different? Different how?" Raj asked.
"I don't know. Like . . . peppy."
"Peppy?" Leonard's eyebrows bushed together. "Sheldon? I don't think those two words go together."
Raj asked, "Peppy? You mean like a spring in his step?"
"Are you sure he wasn't just avoiding stepping on any cracks to avoid breaking his mother's back?"
"Or saw a bug?"
Howard shook his head. "I know. It was . . . Well, again weird is out, so let's say unique."
"He's probably just excited about his wedding. Say what you want to, he really does love Amy," Raj said.
"Yeah," Leonard agreed. "I know it's . . . unusual, but Sheldon's probably just happy. You remember how it was, how exciting it was to marry the love of your life."
"Oh, is that why you did it twice?" Howard asked.
"Hey, guys," Stuart called, stepping up the display of comic books.
"Hello." "Hey." "Hi."
"What's new?" he asked, angling to look at the comic book in Sheldon's hands. "Oh, I didn't know you liked the Harley Quinn volumes."
"What?" Sheldon looked up and dropped the periodical at the same time, causing a loud thump as it landed in the wooden bin. "No, I don't. It's nothing but filth. The dirtiest comic book on the market. Practically pornography. My mother raised me better than that. I can't believe you'd sell it in a store that allows children to enter."
"Sheldon's overreacting to a simple question," Leonard pointed out, "so, no. Nothing's new here."
Howard snatched the dropped comic book from in front of Sheldon. "Give me that. Maybe it will give an idea of how to make Bernie wear pigtails to bed."
"Well, we all can't live in exciting times," Stuart said.
Four non-committal noises came from the group of friends as they continued to look through the books.
"I mean, someone somewhere has to have some happy news," Stuart added, running his forefinger along the edge of the display.
Silence.
"I can understand how you think a pale, malnourished owner of a barely soluble comic book store might not have anything to share, but -"
"Oh, for goodness sake, what could possibly be new, Stuart?" Howard finally asked. "You live in my house."
"Denise is coming over tonight."
"How is that new?" Raj asked. "Howard says she's been coming a lot lately. And very loudly."
Everyone chuckled except Sheldon who dropped another comic book into the bin with a grumble.
"I'm glad it's going so well for you," Leonard said. "She seems nice."
"Thank you. She is. We're celebrating our one-month anniversary. I'm trying to decide between Marvin Gaye or Boyz to Men for this evening."
"Wow, it's hard to believe it's been a month already," Raj said.
"No, it's really not," Howard mumbled.
"A month!" Sheldon suddenly yelled. "It's been thirty-one days, to be precise. Thirty-one days since the wedding. Seven days of honeymoon and then twenty-four days afterward. Twenty-four! I didn't think it would happen so soon. I'm not ready!"
"For a Wednesday evening?" Leonard asked.
"Or for thirty-one to follow thirty?" Howard asked.
"What I wouldn't give for my biggest decision to be Marvin Gaye versus Boyz to Men," Sheldon sighed, slumping his shoulders.
"I could use the advice. Who would you pick?" Stuart asked.
Sheldon looked startled to be asked. "How could I? I have no idea who any of those people are. I'm talking about matters of great import! I thought I'd have more time to find variety!"
Then he turned sharply on his heels and walked briskly out of the store, all four of his friends craning their necks to follow him.
Leonard called after him, "How are you going to get home?" But it was too late, and the door shut away any hope of an answer.
"What's gotten into him?" Stuart asked. "That was -"
"Different."
"Unique."
"Unusual."
"Where is he?" Leonard looked down at his watch again. "It's not like Sheldon to be late."
"Maybe you got the time wrong," Penny suggested. Whatever Sheldon's faults were punctuality was not among them, so it was more likely Leonard had the incorrect time. She crossed her arms and looked at the rolled-up sleeping bag and the duffle bag at his feet. "Did you pack your backup inhaler?"
"Yeah, yeah," Leonard muttered as he looked at his phone. "No, the text is right here. Seven p.m. And my phone says it's 7:04. I'm going over." He reached down and grabbed his supplies, and Penny followed him across the hall. As his hands were full, she was the one to knock on the door to 4B.
The door opened a crack, and Sheldon peeked around the corner. "Just a minute, I have to comb my hair." Both Penny and Leonard stepped back when the door slammed shut in their face. Penny especially regretted she hadn't noticed if his hair was messy or not.
"What was that?" Penny mouthed over to Leonard who shrugged.
But at least they could now hear the voices on the other side of the door.
"Where's my pillow?" Sheldon asked.
"I would have thought on his bed," Leonard whispered.
They heard Amy call out next, "Here it is, I found it!"
"Maybe he was confused about which side," Penny whispered back.
"Hurry, change the pillowcase. I can't take it like that," Sheldon instructed her.
Their neighbors shared a confused look and mutual shrug before Sheldon opened the door again. The first thing Penny looked at was his hair, which looked like normal Sheldon hair to her. He had a sleeping bag tucked under one arm, his pillow with what she presumed was a fresh pillowcase under the other, and, as he walked out into the hallway, she noticed the large backpack, so over-loaded with weight that it was pulling down his shoulders.
"I apologize for the delay," Sheldon offered. "Something, um, came up unexpectedly, right when I got home, and I just had, um, far less time than I would have liked to do it."
"Okay, sure," Leonard said. "But you could have texted."
"Every second counted, Leonard. Every second!"
"What did ya pack there, Sheldon?" Penny asked, changing the subject. "That's a lot of stuff for your little slumber party."
"It's not a slumber party!" Leonard and Sheldon protested in unison. Then Sheldon added, "It's a very scientific endeavor. We're joining Raj in the telescope lab to watch Perseids Meteor Shower in real-time. It just so happens it's occurring in the wee hours of the morning."
"And Bernadette said there was no way she was letting Howard come and go in the middle of the night and wake up the kids, so we're staying over in the lab." Leonard paused. "Actually, it'll be fun, like old times. We used to have astrophysics sleepovers all the time in the lab."
"Well, I hope nobody breaks anything during the pillow fight."
"For the last time, Penny," Sheldon said, "it was pillow jousting and it was only Leonard's pinkie toe."
"Oh, good! You haven't left!" Amy came running out of the apartment and handed Sheldon something. "You forgot the mittens I knitted for you."
"Mittens?" Leonard asked. "Um, you did tell her we'd be inside, right? And that we live in California?"
"They are protection," Amy explained. "If he sleeps with the mittens on, no one can easily dip his hand into warm water while he sleeps."
Even as he accepted the mittens with a smile, Sheldon sighed. "Amy, I told you there's no scientific proof that immersion diuresis works with only one's extremities submerged."
"And I told you to tell that to my bunkmate at the Bible camp my mother made me go to when I was ten," Amy shot back.
Penny chuckled and Leonard's eyebrows fell. "Well, as much as I'd love to stay and discuss the causes of nocturnal urination, I promised we'd pick up the pizza on the way. And we're late. Come on, Sheldon. Bye, Penny."
"Bye! Have fun at your sciencey slumber party!"
"It's not a slumber party!"
"Be careful, Sheldon," Amy called after them as the two men started down the stairs. "Don't let them put salt in your sleeping bag. It's too small to see with the naked eye and it feels like bed bugs crawling on you!"
"I'll use the hand vac before I get in," Sheldon's voice called back. "Goodnight!"
Penny stood next to Amy and watched and listened until there were no more traces of their husbands. "I feel like they're going off to summer camp, like I should have packed extra socks and bug spray."
"Oh, don't worry. I put three different kinds in Sheldon's backpack," Amy said. "I just hope no one wants to tell ghost stories. Sheldon won't sleep for weeks."
Smiling, Penny turned toward her friend, who'd looked unexpectedly serious. "Oh. I thought you were joking about the bug spray."
"I never joke about Sheldon and his bug spray."
In the rush of their husbands leaving, Penny hadn't noticed how flushed Amy's cheeks were. And, now that she was aware, her breathing seemed a little fast. "Amy, are you okay?"
"Believe me, I feel great. Why?"
"I don't know. You seem a little . . . out of breath."
"It's probably just all the running around at the last minute. Mittens, hand vacs, bug spray, you know."
"Yeah, I guess. Sheldon said something came up. I hope it wasn't anything big."
"Oh, it was."
"Really? And you're not worried about it?"
"Definitely not." Amy rocked on her heels. "So, are you hungry? I'm starving."
"Mmmm," Penny considered. She had thought about spending all night alone eating junk food and binge watching The Real Housewives of Orange County, which Leonard hated.
"I'll order a pizza," Amy offered. "They guys are having some; it sounds good."
She could watch Outlander with Amy instead; it wasn't what Penny had planned, but it did have some appealing qualities she enjoyed. Mostly Scottish ones.
"I'll open a bottle of wine."
"Okay, I'm in." Penny followed her friend into her apartment.
To be continued . . .
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