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The smell of dusty artifacts and old parchments wafted over the guests in Lance and George's tea room. The fathers spent months restoring their home to its former glory and were over the moon to host their son's friends.
"…so I pulled him out of the excavation site and said, 'I really dig what you did with your look today!" George wheezed while Bow and Lance exchanged grimaces.
Catra listened in, sitting on their antique rug and warming herself by the fire. Her claws dug themselves into her arms as her nose stung with the sensation of another sneeze on the rise. She couldn't tell if it was all the dust from the artifacts or the faint scent of magic lingering in the library. Her new friends teased her for it often, insisting that magic didn't have a smell to it, but her senses were seven times stronger than theirs so what did they know? Before she could stop it, the loud squeak exploded out of her.
Lance spun his head towards the new guest and gasped in delight, "Is that your sneeze?! That! Is! Adorable!"
Adora shot up mid-snore from dozing off on their couch, "Y-Yes! I'm Adora. I'm here. I'm up. What's going on?"
Glimmer rolled her eyes and nudged her newly awake friend off her shoulder, ignoring the drool stain left on her cape, "Your girlfriend's magic allergy is acting up again."
"Aw, what?! Did I miss the sneeze?" she shifted towards Catra with wide, sparkling eyes, "Can you do it again?"
"I'm not doing it again!" Catra's ears flattened against her head in irritation, sensing the room full of eyes on her, "A-and I'm fine!" She pulled her knees up to her chin and wrapped herself in her tail.
George furrowed his thick eyebrows, "Wait, you're allergic to magic but you're living in Micah's palace-?"
"You poor thing!" his husband interrupted him, "I have some amazing herbal tea from Elberon that'll do wonders for you! I'll send you home with a box! Oh, and it gets so cold in that palace at night, that's no good for your allergies! I'll have to send you with one of Bow's sister's old sweaters! I have one that'll fit you perf-"
"Dad!" Bow grit his teeth in embarrassment.
Lance pouted, "What?! All I'm saying is-"
While Bow and his dads went back and forth, Catra caught a glimpse of a teasing raised eyebrow and a smirk from Glimmer in her direction. She narrowed her eyes and stuck her tongue out to retaliate. On the inside, it made her feel a little bit better. She preferred teasing way more than the uneasy looks of concern everyone else in Brightmoon had been giving her over the past few months.
Adora looked between the two of them and leaned over the couch to stick her own tongue out at her girlfriend across the room. Catra raised her fingers with a mischievous grin and prepared to gesture back at her--
"Okay, so it's settled! We're sending her home with the Elberon tea and a loaf of my famous banana bread!" Lance declared loudly.
"R-really, I'm fine!" Catra's grin quickly turned into an uncomfortable smile.
"Nonsense. After what you did for Etheria, you can have all the bread you'd like." George wrapped his arms over his family's shoulders as Bow gave a defeated sigh.
Adora noticed the faint thumping noise of Catra's tail flicking against the rug, "We… should probably start heading out. It's getting late and we still have to prep for the next mission tomorrow." The antique couch creaked to life as she rose from it and offered a hand to help Catra off the floor.
"Uh, thank you for letting me see the new library…" Catra nodded awkwardly towards the dads. She could feel Adora glowing with pride next to her as she squeezed an arm around her waist. Any act of politeness from Catra was a rare commodity.
"Anything for Bow's friends," George smiled.
Lance interjected, "Don't you mean his friends and girlfrie-"
"O-KAY we're heading out now! 'Night, dad! 'Night, dad!" Bow rushed to open the door for his companions.
As the four of them exited the library, Melog gave a wide-mouthed yawn and stretch on the steps outside. Catra felt the warm vibration of energy as he nuzzled his head against her thigh, pushing her into Adora even more.
"Hey, are you okay?" she stopped to place a concerned hand on Catra's shoulder, "I know they're, uh, not what we're used to."
"I told you a thousand times, I'm fine," she rolled her eyes, looking up at the new star formations in the sky. The dads had called them "constellations"… she wondered which one they were visiting next… Suddenly, she felt the softness of Adora's lips on her cheek.
"Sure you are," she smiled.
Glimmer and Bow had waited for them before walking back into the Whispering Woods, "Hey, sorry about my dads," his face flushed red, "They get really excited when I bring people over, so they can be a little… uh…"
"Overbearing?" Glimmer offered.
"I mean… yeah…" Bow sighed.
"Don't worry about it, arrow boy." Catra smiled casually, hoping no one would notice the faint green glow coming form Melog, "It's good to know someone's still got good parents around here."
_____
The next morning she was startled awake by another one of her now-famous sneezes. The warmth of a new day lit up the palace bedroom in a way that she was happily getting used to since leaving the Fright Zone. She rolled over on the firm mattress and pulled herself closer to Adora, pausing for a moment to listen to her lover's steady breathing-- a luxury that she never got tired of. Rays of light bounced off the decorative crystals and bathed them in faint rainbows. This was quite literally a place built for joy. Catra pleaded with herself to enjoy it for just a moment longer before the discomfort set in.
She buried her head into the crook of Adora's neck to ignore the feeling in the pit of her stomach before finally giving in and sitting up.
Just one morning without this… Just one… she frowned to herself. Her thoughts were suddenly interrupted by the loud purring of Melog, who approached the bed and nuzzled his huge face against hers.
"'Morning," she sighed, scratching behind his ear and glancing back down at Adora. She leaned in and planted a soft kiss on her forehead.
Catra quietly rose from the bed and brushed the hair from her eyes, deciding to start her day by pacing around the palace. Waking up at this time of day normally felt like she had slept in by a gross amount of time. Back in the Fright Zone she was used to early morning exercises and late-night ambush drills. Sleeping in would normally mean privileges getting revoked, and even if she was up on time she would probably have her privileges revoked anyway. She tried to force the memory out of her brain as she walked the expansive corridors of the palace, noticing that barely anyone else was awake. When she eventually got to that specific hallway she tensed up, exhaling sharply before powering her way into it.
The massive stone mosaic of Brightmoon's former queen towered over her. Melog paced along side her, humbly bowing his head in the image's presence. Catra's ears flattened down as she tried to make her way to the other side as quickly as possible without looking up at the her.
Just when she thought she was in the clear, a palace guard nearly slammed into her on the other end of the hallway.
"Hey! Watch where you're-"
"Ow! Hey!" Catra hissed back.
The guard took a moment to recognize her before regretfully bowing down to her, "M-my apologies! Good morning, Miss Catra."
A whirlpool of guilt swirled in Catra's stomach, "N-no, please. It's fine. Don't… Don't do that…" she pleaded for the guard to stand back up, "Um… At ease..?"
The palace guard rose back to her normal posture with an embarrassed nod.
Catra sunk deeper and deeper into in her own humiliation, crossing her arms and nodding back awkwardly before continuing on her walk. The longer it had been since the war ended, the more Catra loathed anything that reminded her of her old authoritarian streak. Besides, just because she was the new queen's friend and She-ra's girlfriend, that didn't mean she held any kind of real power. At least, for her own sake, she hoped not.
It was only a short time before she reached the outside of the palace. A row of guards nodded to her as she exited, this time she tried her best to ignore them. Blades of grass bent beneath her feet as she strayed from the pavement, desperately trying to find anywhere with a little privacy to clear her head. She took a few steps before noticing that Melog had paused, staring at a building in the distance.
Catra frowned, realizing what had caught his attention "Melog, no! I'm not going over there! C'mon!"
Magic… he gestured with his head towards the old garden.
"I told you before, th-there's nothing in there!"
Magic..! he insisted, before ambling it its direction.
"Hey..! Wait!" Catra chased after him. As the floral scent grew stronger and stronger so did the anxious feeling in her stomach.
The few rose bushes plated outside did not do well in masking the old greenhouse's energy. The exterior was covered gnarled, twisting vines-- left to grow without a caretaker to hold them back from taking over the whole structure.
Melog sat in the middle of the building, waiting for Catra to enter with him.
"Let's go! There's nothing here for us!" she demanded.
The huge creature asserted himself by laying down and pretending to sleep, only opening one eye slightly to see if his companion was coming to join him.
Catra's tail whipped itself back and forth in irritation, "This whole stupid palace is filled with magic! Ah-choo! Why here of all places?! Why today?!"
He gave a low, impatient growl for her. Catra gave her own in return, "Fine! But I'm only going in there to get you out!"
As she approached the building she realized her heart was beating faster and faster… Was it some kind of protection spell the old crone had placed on her garden? No… the Brightmoon magic holding her prisoner was way stronger than any kind of dark magic she would've used.
When Catra finally reached the threshold she had to stop herself. Being around Adora's friends long enough had taught her the difference between what magic did and didn’t feel like-- there were very distinct vibrations. For some reason… the garden didn't have any traces of Shadow Weaver's old magic. Almost everything in it was half-dead anyway…
…So why couldn't she bring herself to go in there?
Another call from Melog beckoned for her to step inside. Hesitantly, she stepped through the entrance and looked around. The feeling was… anti-climactic. Starkly silent compared to the rest of the bustling kingdom.
Catra looked around at the pots of wilted flowers. Some of them were still doing surprisingly well, clinging on to what little life they had left despite the months of neglect. The faint, sweet smell of something that was once flourishing lingered on the inside of the greenhouse as she walked the perimeter. She stopped in front of a dried out, unidentifiable plant. Part of her still feared she would get screamed at if she touched something she wasn't supposed to… but Shadow Weaver was long gone by now anyway.
Her finger lingered over a dead leaf that was barely hanging on before she sensed something familiar. Her hand quickly drew back as soon as she heard the faint noise of roots stretching out beneath the soil. A bright green color flowed back into the stem, finally springing back to life with a pink flower bud.
Magic! Melog raised his head and purred.
"Catra!" a cheerful voice sang out.
Her ears perked up, as she turned towards the entrance, "Oh… h-hey, Perfuma."
"You're up early!" she smiled, "I didn't know you liked coming to visit the plants too!"
"I don't," Catra backed away from the new bloom. "I was just out for a walk… I don't know why we stopped here," she glared down at the huge creature nudging at her leg. "What are you doing outside of Plumeria?"
"Scorpia had a meeting with Glimmer and Adora today, I thought I would come by to say hi too!" she entered the greenhouse and looked around. Light filtered in through the glass, making it look as if her freckled face was glowing with joy, "Isn't it incredible that she planted all this by herself?"
Catra scoffed, "Yeah really amazing talent for raising things… who would've guessed?" she crossed her arms tightly in front of her chest and frowned.
Perfuma paused and studied Catra's defensive posture, "How have you been… since she..?"
"I'm fine!" she snapped back, "I'll see you around… I'm gonna go find Adora if she's up-"
"Catra," Perfuma waved her hands and manifested a flower behind one of her friend's ears.
Her nose twitched with the familiar tickle, I hate when she does that…
"If you want to talk about it… I'm always here to listen to you," Perfuma smiled gently.
Catra snorted, "You wanna hear me unpack everything about Shadow Weaver? Sure, how much time you got?"
"Plenty!" she made her way to an old garden chair and began to clean it off with her hands. Months worth of dust flew into the air, catching the morning light.
"Hey, no, you know that's not what I meant-!" Catra protested.
"I'm being sincere, Catra," Perfuma looked at her with wide green eyes. "But I would never force you to talk to me… If you're busy I understand."
“Yes. I’m busy,” she huffed, turning to exit the greenhouse before Melog blocked her path. “Let. Me. Leave.” she whispered to him between her teeth.
The huge animal used his head to nudge her back inside, a polite but firm request.
Catra groaned and buried her face in the palm of her hand, “Is this gonna take long?”
“Not if you don’t want it to,” Perfuma offered.
"So what… you want me to play a drum with you and talk about my feelings?" she dropped herself down into the dirty chair across from her friend.
"Only the second part, I forgot to bring my drum today," she winked.
Catra gave a reluctant smile, "So where do I start?"
"Why don't we start with breathing?" Perfuma closed her eyes and leaned her head back, pulling her feet up into a lotus position in her chair. "Whenever we're upset, it's important to get out of our heads and into our bodies."
"Uh…huh…" Catra stared at her skeptically for a moment before mimicking the pose and closing her own eyes.
"Breathe in through your nose… and out through your mouth~" she instructed with a soft melody in her voice.
On the slow exhale, Catra could feel the heaviness in the pit of the stomach ease up slightly. The steady rise and fall of her chest made her realize how much tension she needed to release. Her tail relaxed and wrapped itself around the base of her chair. Perfuma led them through a few more breaths before allowing Catra to open her eyes again.
"Did that help a little bit?" she asked gently.
"Y-yeah, I guess?" Catra nodded back.
Perfuma gave a genuine smile, closing her eyes and reclining back into her seat, "Whenever you're ready to talk..."
It took a few more moments of silence. Catra looked around the greenhouse, noticing that the shadows of the plants had shifted with the increasing daylight. She squeezed her eyes shut and took another breath, "I don't… I don't know if I belong here."
"What makes you think that?" Perfuma inquired.
"It's just… Everyone here is so… happy and sparkly all the time. And I'm trying my best to fit in for Adora, but… I don't feel happy and sparkly…" her chest felt heavy with the weight of her confession. "Everyone is celebrating the war being over… and at first I was too, but I can't… stop thinking about Shadow Weaver." She could feel tears that were held back for far too long starting to well up in the corners of her eyes. "I can't… I can't talk to anyone about it because they're all so busy celebrating… and I can't be the person who ruins that for them… not again"
"What about Adora?"
"Especially not Adora!" Catra let out a sobbing breath. "She's so happy now and I-I hurt her so much before… all because of what Shadow Weaver did to us when we were kids! And I'm not gonna let Shadow Weaver keep manipulating me into hurting her again! Even if she's--" the words caught in her throat. She had never allowed herself to say the words out loud, "…Even if she's dead."
Dead. The word hung heavy in the air. Everyone knew it but no one had allowed themselves to say it. There had been so many casualties from the war, and it was acknowledged that Shadow Weaver was one of them, but no one had exactly been in mourning over her.
"Catra," Perfuma opened her eyes, meeting her friend's with warmth and understanding, "What your feeling is normal-"
"To who?!" she ran a hand through her hair in frustration, "I don't see anyone else around her acting like this!"
"To people in your situation," Perfuma shifted towards her to give her full attention, "Grief isn't easy, Catra. It's messy and painful and complicated… and that's okay."
Catra's tail twitched with discontent until Melog came to sit next to her, nuzzling himself against her with a concerned purr.
"You have every right to feel the way you do about Shadow Weaver, because you know what she put you through. Everything you're feeling is valid."
"But I don't want to feel this way!" she snapped back, "I don't want to be angry and hurt anymore! I don't… want to bring those feelings around my friends…" tears streamed down her face.
"Do you want to forgive her?" Perfuma asked gently, "Would that help you heal?"
"I don't…" Catra pulled her knees into her chest and squeezed them tight, "I don't think I can forgive her…" she buried her face into them and exhaled a ragged breath, "…And I know that makes me ba-"
"That's okay." Perfuma rose from her seat gracefully to kneel down in front of her friend, "No one is making you forgive her."
Without saying anything, Catra tearfully looked up to meet her eyes, being met back with a look of patience and understanding.
"But…" Perfuma continued, reaching for Catra's hands and holding them in her own long, delicate fingers, "I think it's important for you to forgive yourself."
The two of them sat together without speaking, letting the sounds of Catra's sobs die down until she was ready to speak again, "How do I… do that?"
"That's for you to learn-" Perfuma started before they started to hear voices in the distance.
"Catra~!"
"Perfuma~?"
Glimmer, Adora, and Scorpia were calling out to them. Catra retracted her hands from her friend's to quickly wipe her eyes and compose herself before Glimmer finally caught sight of the two, "Found 'em!"
In a burst of sparkles and light, she teleported herself into the greenhouse, "There you are! We've been looking all over for you!"
Scorpia and Adora quickly caught up, wrapping their arms around their partners.
Adora squeezed Catra tightly, planting a loving kiss on the top of her head between her ears, "You disappeared on me this morning! I missed you."
"Y-yeah I ran into Perfuma and we just decided to catch up," Catra leaned into her partner's arms, taking in the loving embrace. She took a quiet deep breath, finally allowing herself to get out of her head.
Scorpia threw two muscular arms around Perfuma with a huge grin on her face, "They let me make breakfast in the royal kitchen! You guys are gonna be so impressed! I even made your favorite, Wildcat~" she winked at Catra with a confident smile.
"C'mon it's gonna get cold!" Glimmer chimed in, "I'll race you guys back to the kitchen~!" she teased before disappearing in another burst of light.
"Hey, no fair! You can teleport!" Adora yelled after her, releasing Catra and running for the door.
Scorpia let got of Perfuma and trailed after Adora, "Aw, c'mon you guys didn't even say 'go'!"
The two freckled girls were the only ones left in the garden. The met each others eyes before giggling together, signaling the end of the tense conversation.
Perfuma wrapped two lanky arms around Catra and squeezed her with warmhearted intention, "All your friends already forgive you~"
For the first time since they had met Bright Moon, Catra felt comfortable enough to return the gesture.
Perfuma let out a delighted gasp and clapped her hands in joy, "Oh, you've made wonderful progress today!"
Catra pulled away, clearing her throat and rolling her eyes as her tail swayed back and forth, "I mean, you don't have to make a big deal out of it…"
"Your secret's safe with me," Perfuma winked while heading for the door.
Catra stood in the garden, waiting for Melog to join her before making another quick decision, "Perfuma, wait--"
"Hm?" she spun around, pink dress sweeping behind her.
"I got some tea from Elberon… do you want to… come over for tea some time?"
Bright yellow roses sprung to life along the vines that wrapped the greenhouse, "I would love to~!"
_____
The soft glow of distant stars radiated through their bedroom as Catra leaned into her girlfriend's chest.
"Are you excited for the next mission?" Adora asked, scratching behind one of Catra's ears.
"Yeah…" she smiled, letting herself purr softly in content.
Stargazing had become a nightly routine for them, one that they could've only dreamed of just a year ago. The sky was full of new stars, new worlds to explore, new joys to experience. Now that they were finally together, they could fill as many of these moments with each other as possible.
Catra sighed, pulling her partner's arms tighter around her before shifting to face her, "Hey, Adora…"
"Hey, Catra," she smiled back.
"I-I'm sorry…" she sighed.
Adora furrowed her brow, "What for..?"
"I've been trying so hard to be okay and I'm still… I'm still learning how to do that…" Catra confessed with a hitch in her throat, "I don't want you to worry about me… but I'm really, really trying my best to work through what happened to us-"
A soft hand found it's way under Catra's chin as Adora tilted her face up to kiss her gently. A wretched past and uncertain future melted away, leaving only the present moment between them. "I love you… and I know". Catra placed a hand over Adora's and laced their fingers together, "I get that feeling too… but… you give me a reason to heal."
Catra leaned into Adora's arms-- feeling their breathing soften as they drifted to sleep together…
And for the first time, she forgave herself.